1
00:00:01,962 --> 00:00:40,962
‫۳۱۵ - Hot Child In The City

2
00:00:47,963 --> 00:00:52,798
‫Ifyou live in NewYork for ten years,
‫you can call yourself a New Yorker.

3
00:00:52,968 --> 00:00:57,098
‫But the trained eye can always
‫spot the ones who were born here.

4
00:00:57,806 --> 00:01:01,401
‫I want it all, I want it now,
‫and I want you to get it for me.

5
00:01:01,577 --> 00:01:03,909
‫After firing her last two publicists,

6
00:01:04,113 --> 00:01:05,410
‫Jenny Brier,

7
00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:06,515
‫the daughter of a restaurateur,

8
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:08,742
‫had decided that Samantha

9
00:01:08,918 --> 00:01:10,442
‫would take over the PR

10
00:01:10,586 --> 00:01:12,554
‫for her upcoming party.

11
00:01:12,688 --> 00:01:14,815
‫I want "Vanity Fair", Carson Daly,

12
00:01:14,990 --> 00:01:17,652
‫"People", "Teen People", NSYNC...

13
00:01:17,793 --> 00:01:23,129
‫Jenny, sweetie. Don't take this
‫the wrong way, but how old are you؟

14
00:01:23,299 --> 00:01:27,668
‫- It's my Bat Mitzvah party. I'm ۱۳.
‫- You're ۱۳؟

15
00:01:27,836 --> 00:01:29,827
‫What are you, ۴۵؟

16
00:01:30,005 --> 00:01:32,906
‫Just like that, the meeting was over.

17
00:01:33,075 --> 00:01:36,476
‫I'm sorry, I don't do kids' parties.

18
00:01:36,645 --> 00:01:39,273
‫Sweetie, my father has invited

19
00:01:39,415 --> 00:01:41,713
‫over ۳۰۰ of his powerful friends.

20
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:45,251
‫They are not all coming.
‫The Clintons can't make it.

21
00:01:45,421 --> 00:01:48,549
‫I told Daddy we'll be lucky
‫if we can swing this for under a mill.

22
00:01:48,724 --> 00:01:51,750
‫But what do I know؟ I'm just a kid.

23
00:01:53,629 --> 00:01:55,995
‫We'll never get NSYNC.

24
00:01:57,833 --> 00:02:01,269
‫After meeting her new client,
‫Samantha met us

25
00:02:01,437 --> 00:02:03,928
‫- for the latest trend in power lunching

26
00:02:04,073 --> 00:02:06,098
‫haute cafeteria cuisine.

27
00:02:09,044 --> 00:02:11,444
‫Coming in for a landing, sister؟

28
00:02:11,614 --> 00:02:15,277
‫Cute guy. Thought he was
‫checking me out for a second.

29
00:02:15,484 --> 00:02:17,509
‫Where؟

30
00:02:17,686 --> 00:02:19,017
‫Don't turn...

31
00:02:19,188 --> 00:02:24,091
‫- He's a cutie all right.
‫- Definitely looking.

32
00:02:24,226 --> 00:02:27,093
‫Looking at you looking at him,
‫like I asked you not to.

33
00:02:27,263 --> 00:02:29,527
‫- Take your tray over there.
‫- No.

34
00:02:29,665 --> 00:02:31,098
‫Why not؟

35
00:02:31,267 --> 00:02:35,226
‫This isn't PS ۱۴۷,
‫we're adults now. She's married.

36
00:02:35,404 --> 00:02:37,770
‫We have to at least pretend
‫to know better.

37
00:02:37,906 --> 00:02:42,002
‫- I saw a doctor about my headaches.
‫- Still looking.

38
00:02:42,177 --> 00:02:44,202
‫Which you're not helping.

39
00:02:44,380 --> 00:02:47,144
‫I've been trying
‫to diagnose myself on the Internet.

40
00:02:47,283 --> 00:02:48,341
‫You can do that؟

41
00:02:48,517 --> 00:02:52,920
‫Type in your symptoms and
‫wait for the word "cancer" to appear.

42
00:02:53,088 --> 00:02:56,057
‫Anyway, turns out
‫I'm a tongue-thruster.

43
00:02:56,225 --> 00:02:59,126
‫If you were a man,
‫that would be a good thing.

44
00:02:59,295 --> 00:03:03,288
‫My tongue pushes against my teeth,
‫so my bite is all off.

45
00:03:03,465 --> 00:03:06,559
‫- My dentist thinks I have TMJ.
‫- You have to do something.

46
00:03:06,702 --> 00:03:10,536
‫- I'm going to the orthodontist.
‫- No, I mean he's really cute.

47
00:03:10,706 --> 00:03:14,335
‫- She could write him a note.
‫- Even cuter.

48
00:03:14,510 --> 00:03:16,808
‫Guys, I'm not writing him a note.

49
00:03:17,012 --> 00:03:19,708
‫- Dear Mr. Cutie-Cute...
‫- You did not write that.

50
00:03:19,915 --> 00:03:23,476
‫- Just your phone number.
‫- I'm not giving him my number.

51
00:03:23,652 --> 00:03:26,553
‫Relax, TMJ. You don't have to.

52
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:29,815
‫- I'll do it for you.
‫- Carrie.

53
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,926
‫- Go, girl.
‫- Oh, my God.

54
00:03:35,497 --> 00:03:39,729
‫Hi. I'm sorry to bother you,
‫but my friend Miranda over there...

55
00:03:39,902 --> 00:03:43,736
‫- Oh, my God.
‫- She thinks you're cute.

56
00:03:43,906 --> 00:03:48,036
‫Please tell your friend Miranda
‫to call me.

57
00:03:53,582 --> 00:03:57,575
‫On the way home,
‫I decided to brave the afternoon heat

58
00:03:57,753 --> 00:04:02,622
‫to see if my shoe repair guy
‫could do anything about my old soles.

59
00:04:03,859 --> 00:04:07,920
‫But when I got there,
‫there was no "there" there.

60
00:04:23,112 --> 00:04:26,513
‫- What happened to Artie؟
‫- Artie؟

61
00:04:26,682 --> 00:04:31,517
‫My guy, my shoe guy.
‫He fixed these the last time.

62
00:04:31,687 --> 00:04:36,056
‫He moved back to Williamsburg.
‫Brooklyn, not Colonial.

63
00:04:36,225 --> 00:04:38,819
‫He couldn't afford the place
‫once they destabilized the rent.

64
00:04:39,027 --> 00:04:43,020
‫If the comic business keeps going
‫the way it is, I won't be able to either.

65
00:04:43,198 --> 00:04:47,464
‫- Comics aren't selling, huh؟
‫- No, especially mine.

66
00:04:50,205 --> 00:04:53,606
‫Power Lad, by Wade Adams.

67
00:04:53,776 --> 00:04:56,506
‫Is this you؟ Did you drawthis؟

68
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,072
‫What's so powerful about him؟

69
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:05,687
‫He's a superhero, or he wants to be.
‫His parents were superheroes.

70
00:05:05,854 --> 00:05:08,914
‫He's trying to find his super-powers.
‫They haven't kicked in yet.

71
00:05:09,057 --> 00:05:11,025
‫It's stupid.
‫What do you do؟

72
00:05:11,226 --> 00:05:14,491
‫- I'm a writer.
‫- That's cool. What do you write؟

73
00:05:14,663 --> 00:05:17,063
‫Turn to page seven
‫of your newspaper.

74
00:05:22,471 --> 00:05:25,099
‫Yes, I thought you looked familiar.

75
00:05:25,274 --> 00:05:28,368
‫- Would you like to write comics؟
‫- Aren't they a boy thing؟

76
00:05:28,544 --> 00:05:33,038
‫- No! There are women superheroes
‫Batgirl, Supergirl, Black Canary...

77
00:05:33,182 --> 00:05:35,241
‫You've heard ofWonder Woman.

78
00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:39,046
‫With the bracelets and the tiara.

79
00:05:39,221 --> 00:05:42,918
‫I used to love that even
‫her accessories had super-powers.

80
00:05:43,091 --> 00:05:45,423
‫Oh, man.

81
00:05:51,099 --> 00:05:53,090
‫What's wrong with them؟

82
00:05:53,302 --> 00:05:55,770
‫To them, you are Wonder Woman.

83
00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:59,339
‫- All right, stop. I'll buy some.
‫- All right.

84
00:06:06,348 --> 00:06:12,480
‫I never did get my shoes fixed.
‫But the next week, I got new boots.

85
00:06:14,056 --> 00:06:17,617
‫I don't know what came over me,
‫but I felt compelled to thank him.

86
00:06:17,759 --> 00:06:22,458
‫Even as a superhero,
‫I was powerless to resist.

87
00:06:22,631 --> 00:06:26,465
‫That evening, inspired by
‫Miranda's digital diagnosis,

88
00:06:26,635 --> 00:06:28,500
‫Charlotte went surfing

89
00:06:28,637 --> 00:06:30,502
‫for a cure for Trey's condition.

90
00:06:31,473 --> 00:06:34,909
‫There it was,
‫in both the on- and off-positions.

91
00:06:35,077 --> 00:06:39,912
‫$۸,۰۰۰ worth of hydraulics that
‫could turn Trey into the Bionic Man.

92
00:06:40,115 --> 00:06:42,083
‫Ordinarily, this was something

93
00:06:42,217 --> 00:06:44,082
‫Charlotte would shy away from,

94
00:06:44,152 --> 00:06:46,382
‫but since her marriage was shy
‫of wood...

95
00:06:46,555 --> 00:06:51,049
‫That night, I met Wade Adams
‫alias Power Lad at Bar Code,

96
00:06:51,226 --> 00:06:55,356
‫a Times Square bar that specialized
‫in real drinks and virtual reality.

97
00:06:55,531 --> 00:06:58,295
‫I can't believe this place,
‫it's like ten bucks a game.

98
00:06:58,467 --> 00:07:00,492
‫Yeah, but games come with beer.

99
00:07:00,669 --> 00:07:03,832
‫They want you to play
‫half as well and twice as much.

100
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:08,466
‫- Sounds good to me. What will it be
‫Bloodburst or Terrorfright ll؟

101
00:07:08,644 --> 00:07:11,010
‫Whatever happened
‫to Frogger and Miss Pacman؟

102
00:07:11,179 --> 00:07:15,479
‫- She got married.
‫- No! To Pacman؟

103
00:07:15,651 --> 00:07:18,620
‫Good for them.
‫Man, where have I been؟

104
00:07:18,787 --> 00:07:20,914
‫I don't know,
‫but wanna go to Mars؟

105
00:07:21,156 --> 00:07:24,387
‫- For ten bucks؟ It's a bargain.
‫- Let's go.

106
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,585
‫Without leaving the building,

107
00:07:26,762 --> 00:07:29,856
‫Power Lad took me
‫to the furthest reaches of the galaxy

108
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:32,660
‫and right back to seventh grade.

109
00:07:34,303 --> 00:07:36,863
‫- There we go.
‫- Oh, God.

110
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,030
‫It was maddening.

111
00:07:39,207 --> 00:07:43,701
‫Bram and Pippin liked the '۷۸ Lafite,
‫which was entirely acceptable.

112
00:07:43,879 --> 00:07:47,747
‫The implant's on/off-switch
‫had Charlotte thinking about Trey's.

113
00:07:47,883 --> 00:07:52,217
‫She was desperate to turn his on,
‫but didn't know where to find it.

114
00:07:52,421 --> 00:07:55,117
‫The joke was on him.
‫We ordered both.

115
00:07:56,825 --> 00:07:59,055
‫Howwas your day؟

116
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:06,258
‫I went to the gallery in the morning
‫and the framer's in the afternoon.

117
00:08:06,401 --> 00:08:10,235
‫Then I found this on the Internet. See؟

118
00:08:14,576 --> 00:08:19,479
‫What on earth is this؟
‫What are you getting at؟

119
00:08:19,681 --> 00:08:21,512
‫Just that...

120
00:08:21,717 --> 00:08:27,713
‫We've tried everything else
‫and we still...

121
00:08:27,889 --> 00:08:32,690
‫You haven't... in my... ever...

122
00:08:32,861 --> 00:08:35,352
‫So I thought...

123
00:08:35,530 --> 00:08:38,499
‫You can't be serious.

124
00:08:39,534 --> 00:08:41,559
‫What other options do we have؟

125
00:08:50,479 --> 00:08:55,849
‫Five beers, four video games,
‫۱۰۲ degrees outside later...

126
00:09:01,490 --> 00:09:05,722
‫- You gotta be kidding.
‫- What؟ This is fun.

127
00:09:05,894 --> 00:09:10,422
‫It's cheaper than taking cabs.
‫Besides, all the kids got them.

128
00:09:10,599 --> 00:09:13,090
‫- Wanna try it؟
‫- It's too hot to scoot.

129
00:09:13,235 --> 00:09:19,071
‫Let's go to my place. I have a great
‫view. The breeze is even better.

130
00:09:19,274 --> 00:09:22,903
‫I'm not the kind of girl who scoots
‫to a guy's terrace on the first date.

131
00:09:24,479 --> 00:09:26,538
‫I respect that.

132
00:09:26,715 --> 00:09:29,240
‫- I have central air.
‫- Give me that scooter.

133
00:09:29,418 --> 00:09:31,318
‫- Ever been on one؟
‫- No.

134
00:09:31,486 --> 00:09:33,784
‫- That's great.
‫- Thank you.

135
00:09:35,257 --> 00:09:37,521
‫I'm scooting in heels.

136
00:09:50,972 --> 00:09:53,907
‫You said you had a view,
‫not the view.

137
00:09:54,076 --> 00:09:58,342
‫- And this breeze
‫it's like there's different air up here.

138
00:09:58,513 --> 00:10:01,710
‫- How do you have all this؟
‫- Why don't I get us some beers؟

139
00:10:01,883 --> 00:10:04,943
‫Then we can talk
‫adventures and real estate.

140
00:10:06,922 --> 00:10:09,755
‫How was it possible
‫that mild-mannered Power Lad

141
00:10:09,925 --> 00:10:14,692
‫had a classic six on the Upper
‫East Side with a view of the park؟

142
00:10:14,863 --> 00:10:20,426
‫Was he Power Lad by day
‫and a millionaire playboy by night؟

143
00:10:21,470 --> 00:10:22,596
‫Hello؟

144
00:10:23,972 --> 00:10:25,906
‫You scared me.

145
00:10:26,074 --> 00:10:29,237
‫- I heard voices outside and...
‫- You're up.

146
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:33,973
‫- Did we wake you؟
‫- I'm always keeping the watch.

147
00:10:34,149 --> 00:10:36,140
‫Did you meet Carrie؟

148
00:10:36,318 --> 00:10:38,912
‫Carrie, I'd like you to meet my mother.

149
00:10:39,087 --> 00:10:44,548
‫- Hello. It's a beautiful night, isn't it؟
‫- Yeah.

150
00:10:44,726 --> 00:10:48,059
‫I'm off to bed.

151
00:10:48,263 --> 00:10:50,197
‫You two have fun.

152
00:10:51,366 --> 00:10:54,767
‫But don't stay up too late, dear.
‫Good night.

153
00:10:54,936 --> 00:10:57,063
‫- Night.
‫- It's lovely to meet you.

154
00:10:57,239 --> 00:11:01,903
‫Lovely to meet you too, Mrs. Adams.

155
00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:08,575
‫- He lives with his parents؟
‫- It's their apartment.

156
00:11:08,784 --> 00:11:11,776
‫The next day at Commune,
‫daddy Brier's latest restaurant,

157
00:11:11,953 --> 00:11:14,285
‫I asked Samantha
‫about my prospects with Power Lad.

158
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:18,222
‫Not sexy. Dump him immediately.
‫Use my cell phone.

159
00:11:18,393 --> 00:11:21,226
‫He put his money
‫in the comic book store.

160
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:24,990
‫- Still not sexy. What's his number؟
‫- He's saving up for his own place.

161
00:11:25,167 --> 00:11:29,831
‫You know howtough the market is.
‫Plus he's fun and funny.

162
00:11:30,005 --> 00:11:31,836
‫Stop while you're still sexy.

163
00:11:32,007 --> 00:11:36,808
‫There's no way you'd go out with
‫a guy who lived with his family؟

164
00:11:36,978 --> 00:11:38,969
‫Maybe Prince William.

165
00:11:39,114 --> 00:11:41,344
‫I'm sorry I'm late.

166
00:11:43,251 --> 00:11:45,685
‫This happens to tongue-thrusters.

167
00:11:45,854 --> 00:11:48,823
‫I have to wear them for a year.
‫Am I hideous؟

168
00:11:48,957 --> 00:11:53,917
‫No. Hey, no.
‫No, they don't look so bad.

169
00:11:54,095 --> 00:11:57,087
‫- Do you mean it؟
‫- I'm sticking to my story.

170
00:11:57,265 --> 00:12:00,132
‫Are you in pain؟
‫I'm in pain looking at you.

171
00:12:00,268 --> 00:12:03,897
‫I'm a ۳۴-year-old with braces,
‫and I'm on a liquid diet.

172
00:12:04,072 --> 00:12:05,733
‫Pain doesn't begin to cover it.

173
00:12:05,907 --> 00:12:09,343
‫- Look, lunch.
‫- We didn't order champagne.

174
00:12:09,511 --> 00:12:13,311
‫- Compliments of Jenny Brier.
‫- You get the nicest compliments.

175
00:12:13,481 --> 00:12:18,714
‫A ۱۳-year-old girl just bought us
‫a $۲۰۰ bottle of Dom Perignon؟

176
00:12:18,887 --> 00:12:22,186
‫Do you knowwhat I was buying
‫when I was ۱۳؟ Nothing.

177
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:25,555
‫I couldn't afford anything.
‫I served Dilly Bars at Dairy Queen.

178
00:12:25,727 --> 00:12:28,821
‫Where is she؟
‫Where is that Brat Mitzvah beast؟

179
00:12:31,566 --> 00:12:35,366
‫- Is everything fabulous؟
‫- Yes. I didn't knowyou were here.

180
00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:39,735
‫You know Carrie Bradshaw؟
‫You are fucking fabulous.

181
00:12:39,908 --> 00:12:43,435
‫- Your column about secret sex
‫hello, my life.

182
00:12:43,612 --> 00:12:47,048
‫Seriously. My ex was so completely
‫about the sex when we were alone,

183
00:12:47,215 --> 00:12:49,649
‫but at school, I didn't exist.

184
00:12:49,818 --> 00:12:53,379
‫- They're all like that.
‫- Or worse. Men suck.

185
00:12:56,291 --> 00:12:57,724
‫What؟

186
00:12:57,893 --> 00:12:59,952
‫I'm sorry, are your braces blue؟

187
00:13:00,128 --> 00:13:03,529
‫No, they're sapphire.
‫Oh my God! Look!

188
00:13:03,665 --> 00:13:07,499
‫You have the old-fashioned kind.
‫I didn't knowthey still made those.

189
00:13:07,669 --> 00:13:10,968
‫I'll be there. We have to dash.
‫Enjoy your meal, ladies.

190
00:13:11,139 --> 00:13:13,937
‫You are so fucking fabulous.

191
00:13:17,646 --> 00:13:22,242
‫Her braces are sapphire.
‫I'm a ۳۴-year-old nerd.

192
00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:25,942
‫- How old are they؟
‫- ۱۳.

193
00:13:26,121 --> 00:13:28,112
‫- They sound...
‫- I know.

194
00:13:28,323 --> 00:13:30,314
‫- They're dressed...
‫- I know.

195
00:13:30,492 --> 00:13:32,483
‫Just like us.

196
00:13:34,429 --> 00:13:38,388
‫Were Jenny Brier and her friends
‫dressed like ۳۰-something-year-olds,

197
00:13:38,566 --> 00:13:41,467
‫or were we trying
‫to look like teenagers؟

198
00:13:41,636 --> 00:13:46,130
‫One was sending Dom Perignon,
‫another was touring on a scooter.

199
00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:48,833
‫When you're a teenager,
‫all you want to do is buy beer.

200
00:13:49,010 --> 00:13:52,275
‫Once you hit ۳۰,
‫all you want to do is get carded.

201
00:13:52,447 --> 00:13:55,041
‫I wondered,
‫in today's youth obsessed culture,

202
00:13:55,216 --> 00:13:59,550
‫are the women of my generation
‫growing into responsible adults,

203
00:13:59,721 --> 00:14:03,418
‫or are we ۳۴ going on ۱۳؟

204
00:14:03,591 --> 00:14:06,685
‫After a week
‫of self-imposed seclusion,

205
00:14:06,861 --> 00:14:10,092
‫Miranda felt strong enough
‫for solid food and table service

206
00:14:10,298 --> 00:14:12,664
‫with Lance Bloom,
‫a senior editor at Knopf.

207
00:14:12,834 --> 00:14:15,632
‫I started out wanting to be a writer,

208
00:14:15,804 --> 00:14:19,865
‫but it's a solitary life.
‫I'm more interested in collaborating.

209
00:14:20,075 --> 00:14:22,942
‫What are you working on now؟

210
00:14:23,111 --> 00:14:25,944
‫You have a little...

211
00:14:27,816 --> 00:14:31,843
‫I just got these. They're going to
‫take some getting used to.

212
00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:33,783
‫Oh my God.

213
00:14:33,955 --> 00:14:39,086
‫What's it like to kiss somebody
‫with those things؟

214
00:14:40,095 --> 00:14:43,258
‫The doctor said it should be fine.

215
00:14:43,431 --> 00:14:46,264
‫But a blow job is
‫out of the question, right؟

216
00:14:48,903 --> 00:14:54,341
‫I was kidding.
‫That was a joke. I'm sorry.

217
00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:58,806
‫He didn't want your hardware
‫getting too close to his software.

218
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:00,675
‫It's everybody.

219
00:15:00,849 --> 00:15:05,286
‫I can't open my mouth without
‫the world thinking I'm a freak.

220
00:15:05,453 --> 00:15:09,412
‫It's like I'm back in Junior High. I was
‫lucky I got out alive the first time.

221
00:15:09,591 --> 00:15:13,083
‫Think of it as mouth jewelry.
‫Your tooth bracelet.

222
00:15:13,261 --> 00:15:15,161
‫I'm never dating again.

223
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:19,266
‫You are. If the guy's worth dating
‫he won't care about your braces.

224
00:15:19,434 --> 00:15:22,130
‫That was so After-School Special
‫of you.

225
00:15:22,303 --> 00:15:25,272
‫In the After-School Special,
‫you'd see him across the cafeteria.

226
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,466
‫He'd smile, and he'd have braces too.

227
00:15:28,643 --> 00:15:33,671
‫But the sick thing is, I would never
‫date a guy with braces. Even now.

228
00:15:33,848 --> 00:15:36,942
‫Are you kidding me؟
‫Don't you think that's childish؟

229
00:15:37,118 --> 00:15:40,246
‫- More lemonade, Carrie؟
‫- Yes, please, Mrs. Adams.

230
00:15:40,422 --> 00:15:44,483
‫How about some nice,
‫homemade Toll House cookies؟

231
00:15:44,659 --> 00:15:46,593
‫Yes, please, Mrs. Adams.

232
00:15:46,761 --> 00:15:51,789
‫On closer inspection,
‫living with the parents wasn't so bad.

233
00:15:51,966 --> 00:15:55,129
‫It was like having servants
‫you didn't have to pay.

234
00:15:55,303 --> 00:15:58,033
‫Oh, and Carrie,
‫can you stay for dinner؟

235
00:16:01,176 --> 00:16:06,113
‫Faced with having hydraulic
‫cylinders placed in his shaft,

236
00:16:06,281 --> 00:16:09,546
‫Trey decided to pursue
‫the less physically demanding option

237
00:16:09,717 --> 00:16:13,847
‫of counseling with a therapist
‫he'd found through his college alumni.

238
00:16:14,022 --> 00:16:19,324
‫I sense you're both having difficulty
‫verbalizing your sexual issues.

239
00:16:21,863 --> 00:16:24,764
‫With some clients it often helps

240
00:16:24,933 --> 00:16:29,927
‫to create your own non-threatening
‫language with which to talk about sex.

241
00:16:31,139 --> 00:16:33,369
‫I'm not sure that I understand.

242
00:16:34,609 --> 00:16:41,037
‫One client rather whimsically dubbed
‫his anus The Chocolate Starfish.

243
00:16:41,216 --> 00:16:43,343
‫Are you sure you went to Yale؟

244
00:16:43,518 --> 00:16:49,514
‫Charlotte, if you could
‫rename your vagina,

245
00:16:49,691 --> 00:16:55,721
‫something non-sexual, something that
‫didn't feel threatening to you or Trey,

246
00:16:55,897 --> 00:16:57,489
‫what would you call it؟

247
00:17:00,401 --> 00:17:01,390
‫Rebecca.

248
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:05,095
‫Rebecca؟ Why on earth would you...

249
00:17:05,273 --> 00:17:08,800
‫It sounds nice,
‫and I've always liked the name.

250
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:10,944
‫Now you name yours.

251
00:17:11,112 --> 00:17:15,708
‫- This is preposterous.
‫- Something positive.

252
00:17:18,453 --> 00:17:22,753
‫Trey loves to sail. Don't you, Trey؟

253
00:17:22,924 --> 00:17:24,949
‫I do love to sail.

254
00:17:25,126 --> 00:17:28,061
‫How about something like Canoe؟

255
00:17:28,229 --> 00:17:29,355
‫Canoe؟

256
00:17:31,266 --> 00:17:35,828
‫- Canoe doesn't go with Rebecca.
‫- What then؟

257
00:17:36,004 --> 00:17:38,097
‫How about...

258
00:17:39,741 --> 00:17:42,767
‫-... Schooner.
‫- Schooner's good.

259
00:17:42,944 --> 00:17:45,276
‫Rebecca and Schooner.
‫Schooner's good, isn't it؟

260
00:17:45,446 --> 00:17:51,407
‫It's very good.
‫This is a wonderful beginning.

261
00:17:51,553 --> 00:17:55,956
‫There's still a lot of work ahead,
‫some here and some at home.

262
00:17:56,124 --> 00:17:58,957
‫Tonight, as homework,

263
00:17:59,127 --> 00:18:04,121
‫I want you to lie down together,
‫side by side, without touching,

264
00:18:04,299 --> 00:18:08,793
‫and share a sexual fantasy.

265
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:12,499
‫I'm a fairy princess in a forest.

266
00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:15,404
‫I'm riding on a unicorn.

267
00:18:15,577 --> 00:18:20,742
‫Suddenly I see a pirate in buckskins.

268
00:18:20,915 --> 00:18:23,816
‫A prince in disguise.

269
00:18:23,985 --> 00:18:26,317
‫That's when you pull me
‫off my unicorn.

270
00:18:26,487 --> 00:18:29,388
‫You tear away
‫my gossamer petticoats,

271
00:18:29,557 --> 00:18:33,584
‫and you put your Schooner
‫deep inside my Rebecca.

272
00:18:36,664 --> 00:18:39,690
‫Nowyou. Where are you؟

273
00:18:40,535 --> 00:18:42,833
‫I'm in hell.

274
00:18:42,971 --> 00:18:46,771
‫I'm sorry, Charlotte. I can't do this.

275
00:18:46,941 --> 00:18:52,311
‫- I'm a respected surgeon. I can't.
‫- Yes, you can. I knowyou can.

276
00:18:52,447 --> 00:18:57,282
‫We've dealt with this for weeks.
‫I'm not that sexual a person.

277
00:18:57,485 --> 00:19:01,285
‫But we love each other and...

278
00:19:02,457 --> 00:19:04,721
‫we're married now.

279
00:19:04,892 --> 00:19:07,087
‫Rebecca and Schooner
‫belong together.

280
00:19:07,228 --> 00:19:09,128
‫They need each other. Please.

281
00:19:09,297 --> 00:19:12,198
‫You are a fairy princess.

282
00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:16,167
‫I don't deserve you. I'm sorry.

283
00:19:16,337 --> 00:19:18,066
‫I'm sorry.

284
00:19:27,181 --> 00:19:31,675
‫That night, Wade and I
‫had our first sleep-over, at my place.

285
00:19:31,853 --> 00:19:34,788
‫I finally figured out what made
‫Power Lad so powerful.

286
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:39,689
‫He had the soul of a teenage boy
‫in the body of a very grown-up man.

287
00:19:39,861 --> 00:19:41,920
‫The machine will get it.

288
00:19:42,096 --> 00:19:44,189
‫'Hi. Leave a message. '

289
00:19:44,399 --> 00:19:50,201
‫'Hi, Carrie.
‫This is Mrs. Adams, Wade's mother.

290
00:19:50,371 --> 00:19:51,702
‫'How are you؟'

291
00:19:51,873 --> 00:19:54,307
‫- Oh, my God.
‫- 'Sorry to bother you. '

292
00:19:54,475 --> 00:20:00,414
‫'We never heard from Wade about
‫whether he fed the dog his medicine.

293
00:20:00,581 --> 00:20:04,347
‫'Wade's father
‫was just about to give it to the dog,

294
00:20:04,519 --> 00:20:09,149
‫'but if he's already had it,
‫that would be bad.

295
00:20:09,324 --> 00:20:12,987
‫'If you speak to Wade, please tell him,

296
00:20:13,161 --> 00:20:16,790
‫'I won't go to bed
‫until I hear from him. '

297
00:20:16,964 --> 00:20:20,195
‫Yes, Mom,
‫I gave the dog his medicine.

298
00:20:20,935 --> 00:20:23,597
‫No, Mom, I'm not mad, I just...

299
00:20:23,771 --> 00:20:26,569
‫I told you not to call me here.

300
00:20:27,608 --> 00:20:29,599
‫Don't call me here.

301
00:20:30,712 --> 00:20:32,771
‫I love you, too.

302
00:20:36,117 --> 00:20:38,745
‫- She wants to talk to you.
‫- What؟

303
00:20:47,662 --> 00:20:50,722
‫Hi, Mrs. Adams. How are you؟

304
00:20:50,898 --> 00:20:54,925
‫Several blocks south,
‫- Charlotte's night was interrupted too

305
00:20:55,103 --> 00:20:58,436
‫by odd noises coming
‫from her bathroom.

306
00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:12,852
‫Charlotte felt terrible.
‫She hadn't meant to make Trey cry.

307
00:21:21,329 --> 00:21:22,591
‫Honey؟

308
00:21:46,788 --> 00:21:50,189
‫- He said he wasn't a sexual person.
‫- It wasn't sexual.

309
00:21:50,391 --> 00:21:52,791
‫It was tension release.
‫It helps me sleep.

310
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:57,761
‫I understand.
‫This may be difficult, Trey,

311
00:21:57,932 --> 00:22:04,303
‫but I want you to tell me specifically
‫which magazine you were using.

312
00:22:05,339 --> 00:22:07,239
‫"Juggs".

313
00:22:07,408 --> 00:22:12,436
‫All right. We can try and see this
‫as a positive thing.

314
00:22:12,613 --> 00:22:15,707
‫How؟ How is this a positive thing؟

315
00:22:15,883 --> 00:22:22,812
‫Trey was masturbating to Juggs.
‫At least we know he isn't gay.

316
00:22:22,990 --> 00:22:26,255
‫Excuse me,
‫what exactly is the problem here؟

317
00:22:26,394 --> 00:22:30,490
‫It was tension release,
‫it had nothing to do with my wife.

318
00:22:30,665 --> 00:22:33,600
‫Interesting choice of words, Trey.

319
00:22:33,734 --> 00:22:36,532
‫Maybe that's the problem.

320
00:22:36,704 --> 00:22:42,734
‫We have to find a way to integrate
‫your wife into your sexual routine.

321
00:22:44,946 --> 00:22:47,312
‫How are we supposed to do that؟

322
00:22:47,482 --> 00:22:49,507
‫Charlotte had no idea.

323
00:22:49,684 --> 00:22:54,383
‫She wished they were ۱۳, before sex
‫had made everything so complicated.

324
00:22:54,555 --> 00:22:59,993
‫When holding hands and a kiss
‫would have been all she needed.

325
00:23:00,127 --> 00:23:03,858
‫To pierce the corporate veil,
‫- the courts look at five factors

326
00:23:04,031 --> 00:23:07,262
‫whether the subsidiary
‫is wholly-owned or...

327
00:23:09,036 --> 00:23:12,369
‫The ۱۳-year-old girl inside Miranda
‫wanted to disappear,

328
00:23:12,540 --> 00:23:17,341
‫but the ۳۴-year-old partner in this firm
‫decided she wasn't going anywhere.

329
00:23:17,512 --> 00:23:22,142
‫You think I'm funny؟ You think
‫it's hilarious that I have braces؟

330
00:23:22,316 --> 00:23:25,114
‫Let's take a moment
‫and have a good laugh.

331
00:23:25,286 --> 00:23:29,279
‫Let's get it out of our systems
‫so we can work like adults.

332
00:23:29,423 --> 00:23:32,517
‫We were laughing
‫at the typo on page three.

333
00:23:35,096 --> 00:23:40,693
‫Miranda decided that TMJ was less
‫painful than a second adolescence.

334
00:23:40,868 --> 00:23:43,530
‫The next day,
‫she had her braces removed

335
00:23:43,704 --> 00:23:46,229
‫and resumed her life
‫as a ۳۴-year-old tongue-thruster.

336
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,375
‫Trey resumed his own brand
‫of thrusting

337
00:23:49,544 --> 00:23:53,241
‫and discovered that tension release
‫could be a turn-on.

338
00:24:01,923 --> 00:24:07,156
‫Charlotte discovered a way
‫to include herself in Trey's sex life.

339
00:24:09,463 --> 00:24:14,765
‫And she figured out what to do with
‫those proofs not suitable for framing.

340
00:24:14,936 --> 00:24:18,463
‫The following weekend
‫at the Brier Bar Mitzvah party...

341
00:24:18,673 --> 00:24:23,804
‫I'm not sure if I have your name.
‫Let's see, Goldman, Goldstein...

342
00:24:23,978 --> 00:24:25,775
‫I don't see it.

343
00:24:25,947 --> 00:24:28,575
‫I'm sure I'm on the list.

344
00:24:41,362 --> 00:24:45,128
‫I can't believe you still have
‫actual albums.

345
00:24:45,299 --> 00:24:50,236
‫Oh my God, Styx. I love Styx.

346
00:24:50,404 --> 00:24:54,773
‫- I had this album.
‫- I loved "Renegade". Hated "Babe".

347
00:24:57,011 --> 00:25:01,414
‫- How do you have this؟
‫- Are you kidding؟ This is a classic.

348
00:25:01,549 --> 00:25:06,577
‫This song is me driving my parents'
‫Oldsmobile without them knowing.

349
00:25:06,754 --> 00:25:09,484
‫- You knowwhat would go with this؟
‫- Roller skates؟

350
00:25:09,657 --> 00:25:11,682
‫No.

351
00:25:11,859 --> 00:25:13,258
‫Canadian super grass.

352
00:25:13,461 --> 00:25:16,555
‫Six times stronger than pot
‫and ۴۰۰ bucks an ounce.

353
00:25:16,731 --> 00:25:22,465
‫It was obvious Wade was in no hurry
‫to save up for his own apartment.

354
00:25:22,637 --> 00:25:26,403
‫- And what is that؟
‫- My bong. I made it.

355
00:25:26,574 --> 00:25:31,773
‫- At Camp Takatoka.
‫- I'm sorry, Camp Takatoka؟

356
00:25:33,848 --> 00:25:37,716
‫I hadn't smoked pot out of a bong
‫since my eighth-grade boyfriend

357
00:25:37,852 --> 00:25:42,016
‫made one out of tin foil, a BIC pen,
‫and a bottle of Pepsi Light.

358
00:25:42,189 --> 00:25:45,352
‫I didn't even know
‫if I'd remember how.

359
00:25:45,993 --> 00:25:49,895
‫Turns out it was like riding a bike...
‫a ten speed.

360
00:25:51,999 --> 00:25:53,899
‫Back at the Bar Mitzvah bash,

361
00:25:54,068 --> 00:25:57,333
‫Samantha heard some girl-talk
‫not suitable for little ladies.

362
00:25:57,505 --> 00:26:00,906
‫I'm gonna fuck at least three of those
‫NSYNC guys after the after party.

363
00:26:01,075 --> 00:26:02,906
‫The other two are gay.

364
00:26:03,077 --> 00:26:06,979
‫I'd fuck them and their gay boyfriends.

365
00:26:07,214 --> 00:26:10,149
‫Aren't you a little young
‫for that kind of talk؟

366
00:26:11,485 --> 00:26:15,046
‫I'm serious. You have
‫your whole lives to talk that way.

367
00:26:15,222 --> 00:26:20,956
‫Enjoy being children, at least
‫until you turn ۱۵, and start having sex.

368
00:26:21,128 --> 00:26:24,996
‫- I've given blow jobs since twelve.
‫- Really؟

369
00:26:25,166 --> 00:26:28,863
‫- It's the only way guys will like you.
‫- That isn't true.

370
00:26:29,036 --> 00:26:31,368
‫Talk to the hand, grandma.

371
00:26:31,572 --> 00:26:36,066
‫Samantha had resented Jenny Brier
‫because of everything she had.

372
00:26:36,243 --> 00:26:38,609
‫But then she realized,
‫she'd had something

373
00:26:38,746 --> 00:26:42,409
‫- that no amount of money could buy
‫a childhood.

374
00:26:42,583 --> 00:26:46,383
‫Suddenly, the Dairy Queen
‫wasn't looking so bad.

375
00:26:53,894 --> 00:26:56,192
‫I'm thirsty.

376
00:26:56,363 --> 00:26:59,355
‫There's bong water.

377
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:01,866
‫Bong water!

378
00:27:18,519 --> 00:27:19,543
‫Hold this.

379
00:27:27,628 --> 00:27:31,359
‫What are you doing؟ That's wet.

380
00:27:37,371 --> 00:27:40,101
‫Attack of the spicy chicken wings.

381
00:27:42,543 --> 00:27:44,602
‫Shit!

382
00:27:46,313 --> 00:27:48,508
‫That looks like my parents' car.

383
00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:52,844
‫Oh, shit.

384
00:27:55,422 --> 00:27:58,653
‫- Shit, shit, shit.
‫- It's OK.

385
00:27:58,826 --> 00:28:02,023
‫My parents said,
‫if they caught me smoking pot again,

386
00:28:02,196 --> 00:28:05,290
‫- I'd have to sleep in the store.
‫- Wait.

387
00:28:05,466 --> 00:28:06,524
‫What؟

388
00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:08,964
‫If they see billions of chicken wings,

389
00:28:09,203 --> 00:28:12,229
‫they're gonna know...

390
00:28:13,941 --> 00:28:16,501
‫we've been smoking pot....

391
00:28:16,677 --> 00:28:20,738
‫Fuck the chicken wings.
‫Where did we put the fucking pot؟

392
00:28:24,118 --> 00:28:27,246
‫You're home. Early.

393
00:28:30,558 --> 00:28:32,719
‫Is that marijuana I smell؟

394
00:28:34,128 --> 00:28:37,120
‫- No, ma'am.
‫- God, no.

395
00:28:38,966 --> 00:28:40,331
‫Then what is this؟

396
00:28:43,637 --> 00:28:48,074
‫We told you, if you ever brought
‫marijuana into this house again...

397
00:28:48,209 --> 00:28:49,801
‫Carrie brought it.

398
00:28:49,977 --> 00:28:54,437
‫I couldn't believe it. Power Lad
‫would never have ratted me out.

399
00:28:54,615 --> 00:28:58,608
‫Is that true, Carrie؟ Did you
‫bring marijuana into this house؟

400
00:28:58,752 --> 00:29:03,121
‫There comes a time when you have to
‫take responsibility for yourself.

401
00:29:03,257 --> 00:29:08,251
‫A time when I, like Jenny Brier,
‫had to stand up and say to the world,

402
00:29:08,429 --> 00:29:10,363
‫"Today, I am a woman. "

403
00:29:10,531 --> 00:29:15,628
‫Yes, Mrs. Adams, I brought
‫the marijuana into the house.

404
00:29:17,037 --> 00:29:19,870
‫And I'm taking it with me when I go.

405
00:29:27,014 --> 00:29:29,608
‫Oh, baby!

406
00:29:31,852 --> 00:29:33,046
‫There she is.

407
00:29:33,254 --> 00:29:37,816
‫In the end, I decided
‫I was definitely ۳۴ going on ۳۵,

408
00:29:37,992 --> 00:29:41,018
‫but in a city like New York
‫with its pace and pressures,

409
00:29:41,195 --> 00:29:43,891
‫sometimes it's important
‫to have a ۱۳-year-old moment,

410
00:29:44,064 --> 00:29:47,830
‫to remember a simpler time when
‫the best thing in life was hanging out,

411
00:29:48,002 --> 00:29:54,134
‫listening to records, and having fun
‫with friends - in your own apartment.