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‫۳۰۳ - Attack Of The ۵'۱۰'' Woman

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‫There are fewthings
‫I love as much as Sunday brunch.

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‫You can sleep till noon

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‫and still get eggs
‫anywhere in the city.

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‫Alcohol is often included.

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‫And it's the one day

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‫you get the single woman's
‫- sports' pages

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‫"The New York Times"
‫wedding section.

9
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‫This is so depressing.

10
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‫The oldest woman on this page is ۲۷.

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‫Now I'm depressed

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‫and I haven't had coffee yet.

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‫At least you have a boyfriend.

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‫That only means I'm getting laid.

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‫On a regular basis.

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‫I'll drink to that.

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‫Until recently, the bride, ۲۴,

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‫worked as a supervisor

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‫at Ogilvy & Mather. ۲۴!

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‫No more reading aloud.

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‫I love how they say "until recently".

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‫Meaning she quit her job

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‫once she found her soul
‫mate /investment banker.

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‫It's so retro.
‫I've got a rock on my finger.

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‫Now I can stop pretending
‫to care about my career.

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‫Until recently, the bride had a life
‫of her own.

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‫You know who they marry؟
‫The roman numeral guys.

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‫- Charles Duffy Anderson IV.
‫- Ding, ding, ding.

29
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‫The higher the number,
‫the worse the sex.

30
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‫- I dated a lll. He couldn't get it up.
‫- How bad must Henry Vlll have been!

31
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‫You give him head, he cuts yours off!

32
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‫This couple met on a bike tour.

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‫I just make it through spinning.
‫All the men are gay.

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‫It's amazing how upset women get
‫over the marital status of strangers.

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‫- What was that؟
‫- Nothing.

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‫- Let me see.
‫- Nothing to see.

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‫You're such a bad liar.

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‫Then there's
‫the occasional familiar face.

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‫Well, it's official. He's married.
‫Where are my fries؟

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‫It's fine, all right؟
‫I was prepared for this.

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‫They had an engagement party
‫at the Plaza.

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‫- Sometimes they break off.
‫- This one didn't. Let's move on.

43
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‫Why is their wedding like
‫a short story؟ What's next, a movie؟

44
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‫It's fluff, it's PR.
‫Anybody could be this story.

45
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‫Anybody who's getting married.

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‫This is what I hate
‫about "The Sunday Times".

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‫This and the country houses
‫I can't afford.

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‫- You want to rent a movie؟
‫- It's OK. I'm not gonna slit my wrists.

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‫I just thought
‫you might want some company.

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‫You know what؟
‫I think I want to be alone.

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‫- OK, I'm just gonna take the paper.
‫- Would you stop؟

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‫I know what you're gonna do.
‫You can't not read it.

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‫You'll cry and it'll be awful.
‫Let's read it now and get it over with.

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‫The couple met in Paris,
‫on the lle St-Louis.

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‫How original, they fell in love in Paris.

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‫"I was alone at a cafe when the waiter
‫brought over a bottle of Pinot Noir

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‫"from a handsome man at the bar",
‫the bride said, her eyes sparkling.

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‫"When we'd finished the wine,
‫I knew I wanted to marry him. "

59
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‫You were drunk and he was
‫rich. This is just bad journalism.

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‫Marry they did, in Southampton
‫at the bride's parents' estate.

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‫There were only ۵۰ guests.

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‫"We wanted it intimate.
‫Just family and close friends. "

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‫- And "The New York Times".
‫- How intimate is that؟

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‫I don't hear Big
‫anywhere in this article.

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‫She's calling the shots
‫and he's just along for the ride.

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‫The bride carried calla lilies,
‫tied with a red ribbon.

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‫That's nice.

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‫As she walked down the aisle

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‫a saxophone played
‫"When A Man Loves A Woman".

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‫Well, that's tacky.

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‫No, that's Big.

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‫What I wouldn't give
‫for a working fireplace.

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‫- He wasn't the right man for you.
‫- I know that.

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‫I know, it's not him.
‫It's the whole wedding.

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‫And it's her... her!

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‫You know, she's just...

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‫you know, shiny hair,
‫style section... Vera Wang.

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‫And I'm the sex column they run
‫next to ads for penile implants.

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‫Big wasn't the only one
‫taking the plunge.

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‫After more than a decade
‫of domestic independence,

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‫Miranda had opened up
‫to a relationship...

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‫Good morning.

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‫with a cleaning lady....

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‫Good morning, Magda.

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‫Do you know where
‫the coffee mugs are؟

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‫I moved them here.

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‫- Now all glasses are together.
‫- I guess that makes more sense.

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‫You know what؟ I always drink coffee
‫out of my law school class of '۹۰ mug,

89
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‫because it's bigger, and...
‫It's just what I always use.

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‫I bring you nice herbal teas.
‫Tea is better for you.

91
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‫Oh, thank you very much,
‫but I prefer coffee.

92
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‫Thank you.

93
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‫- Why do I have a rolling pin؟
‫- It's for you to make pies.

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‫It's good for women to make pies.

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‫- Do you have a rolling pin؟
‫- On me؟

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‫- In your kitchen؟
‫- I use my oven for storage.

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‫My cleaning lady brought me one.
‫She couldn't believe I didn't have one.

98
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‫I can't believe
‫you have a cleaning lady.

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‫Don't even start.
‫I feel guilty enough.

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‫I hate being home when she is.
‫I feel like if I'm home,

101
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‫I should be cleaning or making pies.
‫She says that's what women do.

102
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‫Where did you find her,
‫in a time capsule؟

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‫I know. I don't need to make pies.

104
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‫I'm practically a partner in a major
‫lawfirm. If I want pie, I can buy it.

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‫I think I need this in a smaller size.

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‫I'll get it for you, just hand it out,
‫there's no need...

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‫Carrie؟

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‫And there she was,
‫Mrs. Big, all five foot ten of her.

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‫Hey... Hi, Natasha.

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‫I heard... I read...

111
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‫Congratulations on the thing,
‫on the wedding.

112
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‫This is Miranda, we're shopping.

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‫- Hi.
‫- Nice to meet you.

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‫That looks nice,
‫what you have on there.

115
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‫You think؟

116
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‫I need something for this "Women In
‫The Arts" luncheon I helped organize.

117
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‫- I'm on the steering committee.
‫- Really؟ I'm a member.

118
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‫You know, I write,
‫so I am a woman in the arts.

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‫I go to that lunch every year...

120
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‫in clothes....

121
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‫- So, you're going then؟
‫- Yeah, I'm going.

122
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‫- Great, I'll see you there.
‫- All right.

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‫Oh, my God.

124
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‫- Now, I can't find the invitation.
‫- Why did you say you'd go؟

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‫I've talked to her twice, once in
‫a cowboy hat, and once in my bra.

126
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‫Like freakin'
‫Annie-get-your-clothes-on.

127
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‫I would just like her
‫to see me looking normal.

128
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‫- Just normal؟
‫- I would prefer to look amazing.

129
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‫Not like I'm trying,
‫just effortlessly striking.

130
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‫I see. And will Big be at this event؟

131
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‫It's a "Women In The Arts" luncheon.
‫It's not about Big, it's about Natasha.

132
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‫It seems to be a lot of trouble
‫for a woman.

133
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‫Can you help me find out
‫when and where it is؟

134
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‫I can do better than that,
‫I'm coming too.

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‫So, you support women in the arts؟

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‫I support you, and these bitches need
‫to be put in their places.

137
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‫That night I modeled my wardrobe
‫in my head and vetoed everything.

138
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‫Why did I care so much؟

139
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‫What was it about Natasha that
‫made me feel like the charity case؟

140
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‫Was it just that she had Big,
‫or was this bigger than Big؟

141
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‫I started to wonder.
‫Are there women in New York

142
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‫just there to make us feel bad
‫about ourselves؟

143
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‫For Miranda, that woman
‫was a certain Ukrainian housekeeper.

144
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‫- You're early.
‫- Yes, good morning.

145
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‫Did you bring me this؟

146
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‫It's gift, to make your bathroom nicer.

147
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‫Thanks. Did you move my hairdryer؟
‫It used to be under the sink.

148
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‫In the middle drawer.
‫Last week I organize for you.

149
00:10:00,949 --> 00:10:03,315
‫No, that drawer
‫doesn't need organizing.

150
00:10:03,552 --> 00:10:07,420
‫Magda had discovered Miranda's
‫"goodie-drawer".

151
00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:14,021
‫I have a boyfriend, so it's not like
‫I'm sleeping with lots of different men.

152
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‫For a long time there was no guy
‫and that's why I have the other thing.

153
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‫- OK.
‫- You like this boyfriend؟

154
00:10:24,273 --> 00:10:27,333
‫- Yes.
‫- You want to marry this man؟

155
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:29,867
‫I don't know.

156
00:10:30,045 --> 00:10:35,073
‫Everybody wants to get married.
‫I am married ۲۸ years.

157
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:40,711
‫Well, we'll see.
‫I don't know if I want to get married.

158
00:10:43,092 --> 00:10:45,117
‫God bless you.

159
00:10:50,065 --> 00:10:52,761
‫I don't need you to bless me.

160
00:10:52,935 --> 00:10:58,305
‫I don't need God to bless me.
‫I'm fine with my life as it is.

161
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‫It's like I hired my mother.

162
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:10,040
‫Manhattan has spas, where a woman
‫can pay to feel good about herself.

163
00:11:10,219 --> 00:11:12,517
‫I can't believe she opened
‫your goodie-drawer.

164
00:11:12,688 --> 00:11:14,986
‫Everybody knows
‫the night-stand is private.

165
00:11:15,157 --> 00:11:19,719
‫- What do you have in there؟
‫- The usual, condoms, vibrator...

166
00:11:19,895 --> 00:11:22,386
‫- Massage oil, cigarettes.
‫- Nipple clamps.

167
00:11:22,564 --> 00:11:25,032
‫- Really؟
‫- Not for me, for them.

168
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,031
‫That's freakish.

169
00:11:27,202 --> 00:11:30,262
‫What's in your goodie-drawer,
‫Robert's "Rules Of Order"؟

170
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:33,464
‫- I don't have a goodie-drawer.
‫- Everybody has one.

171
00:11:33,642 --> 00:11:37,237
‫- I've got a goodie-closet.
‫- I don't need to know what's in it.

172
00:11:37,413 --> 00:11:40,541
‫Ditto. Nipple clamps
‫will suffice for today.

173
00:12:02,538 --> 00:12:04,904
‫I'm not in the mood for steam,
‫it's too hot.

174
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,935
‫Then take off your towel, relax.

175
00:12:08,076 --> 00:12:10,567
‫I don't feel like being relaxed in here.

176
00:12:10,712 --> 00:12:15,274
‫There goes a woman who desperately
‫needs a goodie-drawer.

177
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:21,289
‫Charlotte؟

178
00:12:22,591 --> 00:12:24,957
‫- What's wrong؟
‫- I was just hot.

179
00:12:25,093 --> 00:12:27,618
‫OK, and...

180
00:12:28,897 --> 00:12:34,233
‫And... I'm just not comfortable
‫being naked in public.

181
00:12:35,804 --> 00:12:39,137
‫This isn't really public,
‫it's a ladies' locker-room.

182
00:12:39,308 --> 00:12:43,267
‫- I didn't grow up in a naked house.
‫- I didn't either.

183
00:12:43,445 --> 00:12:46,676
‫I bet she grew up in a naked house.

184
00:12:50,819 --> 00:12:54,255
‫She might still live in a naked house.

185
00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:58,393
‫Sweetie, who cares how you look
‫to other women.

186
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:00,791
‫You have a perfect body.

187
00:13:00,996 --> 00:13:02,964
‫You're deluded.

188
00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:07,729
‫Charlotte, you have a beautiful figure.

189
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,667
‫- Really؟
‫- Yes!

190
00:13:09,838 --> 00:13:14,605
‫Why was that women looking at me
‫like my thighs were too big؟

191
00:13:17,246 --> 00:13:19,544
‫Samantha always felt
‫good about herself.

192
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:24,311
‫But after her ۸۰-minute massage,
‫she felt even better.

193
00:13:25,287 --> 00:13:30,850
‫I just had the most intense massage.
‫Kevin goes down on you.

194
00:13:31,026 --> 00:13:33,494
‫Samantha's was good,
‫but not that good.

195
00:13:33,662 --> 00:13:38,861
‫- Are you serious؟
‫- He's incredible. You should try him.

196
00:13:39,034 --> 00:13:40,865
‫Samantha smiled,

197
00:13:41,036 --> 00:13:44,301
‫but a woman with a goodie-closet
‫doesn't need to pay for head.

198
00:13:44,473 --> 00:13:45,462
‫Celia!

199
00:13:47,943 --> 00:13:51,242
‫- Forgot your key.
‫- Thanks, Kevin.

200
00:13:52,714 --> 00:13:56,548
‫Then again, you can never have
‫too many massages.

201
00:13:56,718 --> 00:13:59,243
‫Samantha immediately
‫got on the wait list

202
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,548
‫for Kevin's
‫next available appointment.

203
00:14:04,226 --> 00:14:10,187
‫That night, Steve wasn't available.
‫Miranda chose the next best thing.

204
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:22,977
‫Magda was not only cleaning,
‫she was performing an exorcism.

205
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:29,840
‫Later that week, I had a religious
‫experience at Manolo Blahnik.

206
00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:33,749
‫I need your opinion.

207
00:14:33,889 --> 00:14:35,823
‫You can't afford them؟

208
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,926
‫Can I get you something؟

209
00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:43,327
‫I'll have that incredibly rich-looking,
‫flourless chocolate thing.

210
00:14:43,498 --> 00:14:47,457
‫- And a cafe au lait.
‫- I'll have a fruit cup.

211
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:52,369
‫- Now you're making me feel bad.
‫- No, get what you want.

212
00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:58,544
‫This place has the best desserts.
‫The point of coming is to splurge.

213
00:14:58,714 --> 00:15:01,615
‫That was a splurge.
‫Fruit has a lot of carbs.

214
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:04,184
‫Is there a new "Zone" book out؟

215
00:15:04,319 --> 00:15:06,753
‫I hate my thighs.

216
00:15:06,922 --> 00:15:10,881
‫The problem is not your thighs.
‫The problem is your head.

217
00:15:11,059 --> 00:15:14,358
‫Now... About the shoes.

218
00:15:14,563 --> 00:15:16,531
‫Hold on...

219
00:15:17,599 --> 00:15:19,692
‫I need these for the WITA luncheon.

220
00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:24,670
‫The heels are almost high enough
‫to put me face to face with Natasha,

221
00:15:24,906 --> 00:15:28,899
‫if Natasha wears flats.
‫But why would she wear flats؟

222
00:15:29,111 --> 00:15:31,306
‫Do they make the right statement؟

223
00:15:31,446 --> 00:15:33,641
‫What statement
‫do you want to make؟

224
00:15:33,782 --> 00:15:39,152
‫I am beautiful, powerful and don't care
‫you're only ۲۵, and married my ex.

225
00:15:39,321 --> 00:15:42,256
‫I thought you didn't have a complex
‫about your looks.

226
00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:45,916
‫It's not a complex.
‫It's a Natasha specific obsession,

227
00:15:46,094 --> 00:15:50,690
‫which will be over when she sees me,
‫at the benefit, looking fabulous,

228
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:54,962
‫in these shoes and a dress from
‫Bergdorf's that'll cost a month's rent.

229
00:15:55,137 --> 00:15:59,005
‫Listen to you.
‫You don't have to prove anything.

230
00:15:59,174 --> 00:16:04,737
‫You are stunning, intelligent
‫and funny. And what is she؟

231
00:16:04,946 --> 00:16:07,813
‫Married, that's all.

232
00:16:07,983 --> 00:16:10,850
‫You could go to that luncheon,
‫wearing that,

233
00:16:11,019 --> 00:16:13,351
‫and still be the most
‫incredible woman in the room.

234
00:16:14,489 --> 00:16:17,788
‫Wow!
‫Why can't you do that for yourself؟

235
00:16:19,327 --> 00:16:22,262
‫That afternoon,
‫Charlotte faced her fear.

236
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:21,949
‫I'd kill for your breasts.

237
00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:34,532
‫Meanwhile, Samantha had spent
‫the last half hour face-down,

238
00:17:34,703 --> 00:17:37,035
‫picturing Kevin's face down on her.

239
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:43,840
‫- Is this pressure OK؟
‫- Oh, yes. That is just fine.

240
00:17:44,579 --> 00:17:46,479
‫Ready to turn over now؟

241
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:49,242
‫I most certainly am.

242
00:18:00,896 --> 00:18:04,024
‫- Is this OK؟
‫- Yes.

243
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:09,898
‫- Is this OK؟
‫- Yes.

244
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:12,931
‫Is this OK؟

245
00:18:13,108 --> 00:18:15,201
‫Yes.

246
00:18:22,617 --> 00:18:27,577
‫Since they were running out of time,
‫she took the matter in her own hands.

247
00:18:30,525 --> 00:18:32,857
‫Is this OK؟

248
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,962
‫Apparently, it wasn't.

249
00:18:35,130 --> 00:18:37,690
‫What kind of person
‫does such a thing؟

250
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:43,031
‫To molest a trained professional
‫while he is trying to do his job.

251
00:18:43,772 --> 00:18:49,039
‫Helena Rubinstein is
‫a civilized place, for civilized people.

252
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,476
‫I'm sorry, I can't allow you
‫to come back here.

253
00:18:52,647 --> 00:18:55,013
‫I have to protect my staff.

254
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:57,515
‫Clearly, she meant Kevin's staff.

255
00:18:57,686 --> 00:18:59,620
‫This isn't my fault.

256
00:18:59,788 --> 00:19:02,416
‫I know that Kevin
‫went down on another customer,

257
00:19:02,591 --> 00:19:04,821
‫and that's why
‫I booked the appointment.

258
00:19:10,298 --> 00:19:14,462
‫The following Monday, Samantha
‫and I were the definition of civilized.

259
00:19:14,636 --> 00:19:17,503
‫We officially became
‫ladies who luncheon.

260
00:19:18,106 --> 00:19:21,507
‫It was entrapment, false advertising
‫and blatant discrimination.

261
00:19:21,676 --> 00:19:24,236
‫You can't go down on one
‫and not the other.

262
00:19:24,412 --> 00:19:27,813
‫I paid good money,
‫expecting to be eaten out.

263
00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:32,518
‫This is not the conversation I wish
‫to have as my most amazing self.

264
00:19:32,687 --> 00:19:34,712
‫- Do you see her؟
‫- No...

265
00:19:34,890 --> 00:19:37,415
‫But I do see Wendy Wasserstein
‫and Gloria Steinem.

266
00:19:37,592 --> 00:19:43,030
‫- Believe me, you look stunning.
‫- You know what؟ I believe you.

267
00:19:43,899 --> 00:19:48,563
‫Hello Mimi, Ms Carrie Bradshaw,
‫and Ms Samantha Jones.

268
00:19:50,705 --> 00:19:55,039
‫I'm a member,
‫I just haven't been to an event, ever.

269
00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:57,337
‫It's Bradshaw.

270
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,316
‫Here you are.
‫Wear your name tags.

271
00:20:02,484 --> 00:20:06,944
‫Last year we had an incident
‫with Joyce Carol Oates.

272
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:10,250
‫I'm not sure the "Hello, my name is"
‫goes with the ensemble.

273
00:20:10,458 --> 00:20:13,256
‫Hello, my name is Fabulous.

274
00:20:13,461 --> 00:20:15,520
‫Oh, Natasha's not here yet.

275
00:20:15,697 --> 00:20:18,666
‫- Natasha's not coming.
‫- What؟

276
00:20:18,833 --> 00:20:22,132
‫She's got a cold,
‫and didn't want to get everybody sick.

277
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,465
‫Here are your drink tickets.

278
00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:30,868
‫I can't believe that bitch
‫is a no-show.

279
00:20:31,046 --> 00:20:34,277
‫I'm the one who's sick.
‫Charged another outfit I can't afford.

280
00:20:34,449 --> 00:20:37,247
‫Maybe bounced a cheque to charity,
‫just to prove I'm amazing.

281
00:20:37,419 --> 00:20:40,718
‫I've never felt less so.
‫Let's just go.

282
00:20:40,889 --> 00:20:45,121
‫I've paid $۸۵, we're having our drinks.
‫What do you feel like؟

283
00:20:45,293 --> 00:20:50,697
‫- Loser on the rocks؟
‫- Give me those tickets.

284
00:20:54,602 --> 00:20:57,435
‫Who is this and what's she doing
‫in my bedroom؟

285
00:20:57,605 --> 00:20:59,300
‫Virgin Mary.

286
00:21:00,075 --> 00:21:03,374
‫- And where's my other thing؟
‫- What thing؟

287
00:21:03,545 --> 00:21:06,446
‫You know, the thing.
‫Don't make me say it.

288
00:21:06,614 --> 00:21:08,548
‫The thing you replaced with this lady.

289
00:21:08,717 --> 00:21:11,777
‫Bathroom, middle drawer.
‫Next to hairdryer.

290
00:21:13,254 --> 00:21:17,918
‫No man will marry you if that is by
‫your bed. It says you don't need him.

291
00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:22,593
‫What I don't need is another mother.

292
00:21:22,764 --> 00:21:25,824
‫I have one in Philadelphia,
‫and that's close enough.

293
00:21:26,001 --> 00:21:28,629
‫I need a housekeeper,
‫who will clean my apartment

294
00:21:28,803 --> 00:21:32,796
‫and stop judging because I'm a ۳۴
‫year old, single woman in New York.

295
00:21:32,974 --> 00:21:39,538
‫I drink coffee, have sex, buy pies
‫and enjoy battery-operated devices.

296
00:21:39,714 --> 00:21:44,151
‫If you can't deal with that,
‫I will find a housekeeper who can.

297
00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:53,026
‫I also head the committee to match
‫mentors with underprivileged children.

298
00:21:53,194 --> 00:21:57,631
‫It'd be wonderful if you'd be willing
‫to work with kids who want to write.

299
00:21:57,832 --> 00:21:59,732
‫I write about sex.

300
00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:04,531
‫Is that something they'd like to learn؟
‫Writing about blow jobs؟

301
00:22:04,739 --> 00:22:08,698
‫We can always use help
‫in fundraising.

302
00:22:08,877 --> 00:22:11,744
‫Carrie, this is Jenna.

303
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:14,438
‫- Hi, Jenna.
‫- Nice to meet you.

304
00:22:14,616 --> 00:22:18,882
‫Jenna went to college with Natasha.
‫Go ahead, tell her what you told me.

305
00:22:19,054 --> 00:22:24,185
‫OK, well, Natasha lived in my dorm,
‫freshmen year at Tulane.

306
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:28,420
‫Once, she showered with a guy
‫in the community bathroom.

307
00:22:30,398 --> 00:22:32,229
‫And...

308
00:22:33,501 --> 00:22:37,403
‫And she gained like ten pounds,
‫sophomore year.

309
00:22:37,972 --> 00:22:39,064
‫Wow.

310
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:43,472
‫Ten pounds.
‫Thanks, Jenna.

311
00:22:44,779 --> 00:22:46,076
‫Merry Christmas.

312
00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:48,712
‫That's supposed
‫to make me feel better؟

313
00:22:48,883 --> 00:22:51,249
‫Six years ago
‫she had a weight problem؟

314
00:22:51,419 --> 00:22:53,046
‫It's something.

315
00:22:53,221 --> 00:22:55,155
‫You had to love her for trying.

316
00:22:55,323 --> 00:22:59,316
‫Samantha tried to make me feel good
‫by making Natasha sound bad,

317
00:22:59,494 --> 00:23:01,519
‫but it only made me feel worse.

318
00:23:01,696 --> 00:23:05,564
‫- Another drink؟
‫- Another one and I'll lose my lunch.

319
00:23:05,733 --> 00:23:10,136
‫When you get home you'll smile
‫because she was a porker in college.

320
00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:12,569
‫Ten pounds does not a porker make.

321
00:23:16,211 --> 00:23:21,649
‫- You're Samantha Jones.
‫- Yes. We met at Helena Rubinstein.

322
00:23:21,850 --> 00:23:26,253
‫Katy, Leisle, look who's here.
‫The woman who got Kevin fired.

323
00:23:27,856 --> 00:23:28,845
‫Thanks a lot!

324
00:23:29,023 --> 00:23:31,321
‫- Yeah, thanks.
‫- Who's gonna fuck me now؟

325
00:23:31,559 --> 00:23:33,493
‫Kevin fucked you؟

326
00:23:33,661 --> 00:23:37,495
‫Turns out I wasn't the kind of member
‫those women in the arts needed.

327
00:23:39,033 --> 00:23:43,129
‫That night, in her spotless apartment,
‫Miranda knew she'd been right

328
00:23:43,371 --> 00:23:45,737
‫to take a stand
‫because of her night-stand.

329
00:23:48,176 --> 00:23:51,634
‫Magda realized that single women
‫in New York never make pies,

330
00:23:51,813 --> 00:23:53,872
‫but they sometimes make guys.

331
00:23:54,716 --> 00:23:58,208
‫A few weeks later, I got something
‫in the mail from Women In The Arts.

332
00:23:58,386 --> 00:24:02,618
‫It was a "Thank you for attending",
‫signed by Natasha.

333
00:24:02,824 --> 00:24:07,523
‫Game over. I had to accept that in life,
‫some women are simply better.

334
00:24:07,729 --> 00:24:12,098
‫No amount of shoes, or lack of pastry
‫or making of pies will change that.

335
00:24:12,267 --> 00:24:15,134
‫I will never be the woman
‫with the perfect hair,

336
00:24:15,303 --> 00:24:17,271
‫who can wear white and not spill on it.

337
00:24:17,438 --> 00:24:20,032
‫And chair committees,
‫and write thank you notes.

338
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:22,176
‫And I can't feel bad about that.

339
00:24:22,377 --> 00:24:24,504
‫"Sorry I couldn't be their. "

340
00:24:25,446 --> 00:24:30,213
‫T-H-E-I-R.

341
00:24:31,586 --> 00:24:33,918
‫But I could feel good about this.

342
00:24:39,594 --> 00:24:44,691
‫Miranda, it's good she got married.
‫The woman's an idiot.