WEBVTT

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..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::..
‏.::  www.bolboljan.net ::.

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Dr Schwiman
was so right.

00:00:32.775 --> 00:00:34.239
Isn't this romantic?

00:00:34.241 --> 00:00:35.606
(GROANS)

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This bike weigh's
as much as a dead cow.

00:00:39.342 --> 00:00:41.209
Who designed
these bikes, Hitler?

00:00:41.775 --> 00:00:42.775
My God!

00:00:44.107 --> 00:00:45.639
They use these
in the Tour de France?

00:00:45.641 --> 00:00:47.673
Well, everything is old here,
it's part of the charm.

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BOB: Mine's broken I think.

00:00:50.941 --> 00:00:51.942
(RINGS BIKE BELL)

00:00:53.407 --> 00:00:54.672
And I think it's going
to rain.

00:00:54.674 --> 00:00:56.239
Why do you have to be
so pessimistic?

00:00:56.241 --> 00:00:57.941
I'm not pessimistic.

00:00:59.042 --> 00:01:00.672
I'm realistic.

00:01:00.674 --> 00:01:02.506
Exact same thing for you.

00:01:02.508 --> 00:01:04.672
Where are we?
What arrondissement is this?

00:01:04.674 --> 00:01:06.940
Why don't you ride next to me
instead of behind me because

00:01:06.942 --> 00:01:08.340
I may as well be
riding alone.

00:01:09.940 --> 00:01:12.507
Suit yourself.
I'm tired anyway.

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Suit yourself.

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<i>(ROCK'N'DOLLARS</i> PLAYING)

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<i>Ole!</i>

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(SONG CONTINUES)

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(THUNDER RUMBLING)

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Is my husband here?

00:03:36.441 --> 00:03:37.838
No, madam.

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We were worrying
about you.

00:03:39.340 --> 00:03:41.406
No, no harm done.
What about Jacques?

00:03:41.408 --> 00:03:42.942
JACQUES:
Ready and waiting!

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Brace yourself, pal.

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Look at that. Madam,
I'm doubling my fee.

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(LAUGHS)

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JACQUES: The security man
out there, didn't let me in.

00:03:58.373 --> 00:04:00.706
Of course not. We have the
Lord Mayor of London coming.

00:04:00.708 --> 00:04:04.271
Really? Sexy!
Can I say hello?

00:04:04.273 --> 00:04:06.706
- Well, he's coming with his husband.
- Too bad.

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Today's mail, madam.

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And this came by messenger.

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(THUNDER RUMBLING)

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I want some
chocolate milk.

00:04:47.774 --> 00:04:50.172
And I'll have a double vodka
on the rocks.

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KIDS: Steven!

00:04:51.541 --> 00:04:53.075
STEVEN: How are you,
silly monkeys?

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(KISSES) Sean.

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How are you, Maria?

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Mr. Stevens,
when did you get here?

00:04:58.842 --> 00:05:01.006
Just this afternoon.

00:05:01.008 --> 00:05:03.104
What's happening here? Is it
someone's birthday or something?

00:05:03.106 --> 00:05:04.272
Nothing like that.

00:05:04.274 --> 00:05:05.905
Just a small dinner
for twelve.

00:05:05.907 --> 00:05:06.908
Ah...

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STEVEN: Thank you.

00:05:11.740 --> 00:05:13.272
Come on Rose, you need
to eat something.

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No.

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Please Mr. Steven,
tell her.

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What are you doing,
Rose,

00:05:18.075 --> 00:05:19.706
starving yourself
like Mommy?

00:05:19.708 --> 00:05:20.875
Skinny Mommy, yes!

00:05:21.408 --> 00:05:23.171
Well, don't.

00:05:23.173 --> 00:05:24.674
No one likes
a human toothpick.

00:05:26.074 --> 00:05:27.340
I'm going to find our dad.

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Listen to your big brother and
finish those potatoes, please.

00:05:35.838 --> 00:05:36.208
Okay. Try that.

00:05:38.573 --> 00:05:39.575
Aren't you
going to miss it?

00:05:40.574 --> 00:05:42.339
Of course,
I'm going to miss it.

00:05:42.341 --> 00:05:44.507
This was your grandfather's
greatest acquisition.

00:05:45.408 --> 00:05:46.775
He'd cut
my balls off.

00:05:47.940 --> 00:05:49.438
Why don't you sell
something else?

00:05:49.440 --> 00:05:51.604
You still don't get. I'm hanging
by my fingernails here.

00:05:51.606 --> 00:05:52.839
I need the money.

00:05:52.841 --> 00:05:54.375
Anne's costing you
that much?

00:05:55.374 --> 00:05:56.408
Sell her jewels.

00:05:57.506 --> 00:05:58.508
You're not funny.

00:06:01.041 --> 00:06:02.572
Do you want me to
lend you something?

00:06:02.574 --> 00:06:04.006
Could you?

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Fifty-thousand,
just for a few days,

00:06:05.541 --> 00:06:06.873
until the sale goes through?

00:06:06.875 --> 00:06:07.939
I'll call Mom.

00:06:07.941 --> 00:06:09.173
Don't do that.

00:06:09.175 --> 00:06:10.707
Don't give her
the satisfaction.

00:06:12.107 --> 00:06:14.172
How is she, anyway?

00:06:14.174 --> 00:06:16.605
Getting older and
heavier by the day.

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Richer, too.

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Middle East foggy London.

00:06:21.273 --> 00:06:22.508
She voted Brexit.

00:06:23.541 --> 00:06:25.104
Makes sense.

00:06:25.106 --> 00:06:28.238
When you were born she was
nuts about Margaret Thatcher.

00:06:28.240 --> 00:06:30.339
She said I had to
vote for Reagan.

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Did you?

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No.
We were in Athens.

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Our last horrible year.

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(CHUCKLES)

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How's the writing going?

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Yeah, my publisher's
coming to Paris.

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I've got nothing
to show him.

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He knows it.

00:06:48.674 --> 00:06:50.072
So, why is he coming?

00:06:50.074 --> 00:06:52.040
When he writes off
the Eurostar trip,

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I'm one of his best assets.

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(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

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(HELENE SPEAKING FRENCH)

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UBER DRIVER:
Go on, sir, take one.

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In my country,
we call it mektoub.

00:07:34.575 --> 00:07:35.841
Your future.

00:07:41.874 --> 00:07:44.107
Tonight you will meet
someone special.

00:07:45.675 --> 00:07:47.406
It's not very original.

00:07:47.408 --> 00:07:50.572
No? And what if
that someone special

00:07:50.574 --> 00:07:53.774
is a mysterious,
beautiful lady.

00:08:13.841 --> 00:08:14.842
Zip me up.

00:08:19.107 --> 00:08:20.608
I'd rather undress you.

00:08:23.106 --> 00:08:25.874
Well,
you had your chance.

00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:35.705
Ten, eleven, twelve.
Thirteen?

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(MARIA SPEAKING SPANISH)

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Exactly.
Who did this?

00:08:38.540 --> 00:08:40.573
- I did.
- (SIGHS)

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- Hello, Anne.
- Hmm.

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Welcome to Paris,
Steven,

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please make yourself
at home.

00:08:44.506 --> 00:08:45.839
Yes and invite yourself
to dinner.

00:08:45.841 --> 00:08:47.771
No, Bob invited me.

00:08:47.773 --> 00:08:50.171
He didn't say a word.
Typical.

00:08:50.173 --> 00:08:52.937
Well, I am not having thirteen at my table.
It is bad luck.

00:08:52.939 --> 00:08:54.806
And what's worse,
it's me.

00:08:54.808 --> 00:08:57.005
Sorry about that, Anne, but my
father is really excited to see me.

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Especially now as it happens.

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(ANNE SIGHS)

00:08:59.707 --> 00:09:01.938
Oh my God. Get rid of those.

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STEVEN: Anne,
be proud of them.

00:09:03.207 --> 00:09:05.271
How about I kill you?

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Head down.
Rotate for a single axis.

00:09:08.707 --> 00:09:10.372
See. I remember every word.

00:09:10.374 --> 00:09:13.341
Admit it. I'm a fast learner.
And so is my father.

00:09:14.573 --> 00:09:15.904
Add another place setting.

00:09:15.906 --> 00:09:17.908
There's one more chair
in the corner. And hurry.

00:09:18.874 --> 00:09:20.041
You look beautiful, Anne.

00:09:31.274 --> 00:09:32.275
MARIA: This one's fine.

00:09:35.041 --> 00:09:37.174
Hey stop. All of you.
Turn around. Look at me.

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I need another woman.

00:09:43.341 --> 00:09:44.738
Madam? No.

00:09:44.740 --> 00:09:45.873
There's no other
solution.

00:09:46.540 --> 00:09:48.772
Madam,
I am the maid.

00:09:48.774 --> 00:09:50.739
Maid's don't have dinner
with the bosses.

00:09:50.741 --> 00:09:53.204
Oh, nonsense.
You're part of this family.

00:09:53.206 --> 00:09:54.438
I have
a terrible accent.

00:09:54.440 --> 00:09:56.207
Your accent is charming.

00:09:57.341 --> 00:09:58.904
But what will I say?

00:09:58.906 --> 00:10:00.773
Well, it's not about talking.
It's about sitting.

00:10:00.775 --> 00:10:02.238
You know how to sit,
don't you?

00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:03.774
Now come, we have
no time to argue.

00:10:05.741 --> 00:10:07.172
(ANNE SIGHS)

00:10:07.174 --> 00:10:08.904
ANNE: Okay. Okay.
Okay. Come on.

00:10:08.906 --> 00:10:11.405
Which? No, no.
Oh my God.

00:10:11.407 --> 00:10:13.438
Here. See if
this one fits.

00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:15.004
We're not the
same size, madam.

00:10:15.006 --> 00:10:16.672
What about Mandy?
Mandy can do this.

00:10:16.674 --> 00:10:18.937
Maria, be serious.
Mandy is a Filipino.

00:10:18.939 --> 00:10:21.071
Nobody invites a Filipino
to a dinner party.

00:10:21.073 --> 00:10:23.573
Maybe Aung San Suu Kyi because
she won a Nobel peace Prize.

00:10:23.575 --> 00:10:25.239
And she's from Burma,
that's different.

00:10:25.241 --> 00:10:27.439
Mandy, she speaks terrible
English and terrible French.

00:10:27.441 --> 00:10:29.438
I'm not even sure she
knows how to speak Filipino.

00:10:29.440 --> 00:10:31.405
No, no. We will be
found out in a second!

00:10:31.407 --> 00:10:32.770
Found out?

00:10:32.772 --> 00:10:35.037
Yes. We're not going to
tell them you're the maid.

00:10:35.039 --> 00:10:37.039
So what are we
going to say, madam?

00:10:37.041 --> 00:10:38.106
Nothing.

00:10:38.108 --> 00:10:40.071
Just act like a friend.

00:10:40.073 --> 00:10:42.904
I think I'm going to faint, madam.
I'm unable to lie.

00:10:42.906 --> 00:10:44.172
No, no, it's okay.

00:10:44.174 --> 00:10:46.171
All women can lie.
It's all about smiling.

00:10:46.173 --> 00:10:47.772
- Like this?
- Mmm.

00:10:47.774 --> 00:10:49.373
And Josiane?
What about Josiane?

00:10:49.375 --> 00:10:51.371
She just started here.
I don't know her.

00:10:51.373 --> 00:10:53.272
Josiane is very funny,
madam.

00:10:53.274 --> 00:10:54.705
She know how to
make jokes.

00:10:54.707 --> 00:10:56.770
She even imitates Sarkozy.

00:10:56.772 --> 00:10:58.172
She could be
the perfect guest.

00:10:58.174 --> 00:10:59.672
Josiane is at least a 12.

00:10:59.674 --> 00:11:01.737
You're pear-shaped
but you're not fat.

00:11:01.739 --> 00:11:03.672
Okay, so we'll go with
the pants you have on.

00:11:03.674 --> 00:11:04.905
It's not a good idea.

00:11:04.907 --> 00:11:06.838
Yes. Yes.
It is a good idea.

00:11:06.840 --> 00:11:09.071
Come on, Maria.
Come on.

00:11:09.073 --> 00:11:11.005
We'll look back on this
and laugh one day.

00:11:11.007 --> 00:11:13.105
It's going to be like that time
in the chalet when Rose was two

00:11:13.107 --> 00:11:14.272
and you dressed up
like Santa.

00:11:14.274 --> 00:11:15.372
Remember that?
With the beard.

00:11:15.374 --> 00:11:16.374
Jacques!

00:11:17.040 --> 00:11:18.406
Okay, there you are.

00:11:18.408 --> 00:11:20.271
Know listen, make it not
to big and not too showy.

00:11:20.273 --> 00:11:21.572
Just make it quick.

00:11:21.574 --> 00:11:22.741
What about her shoes?

00:11:23.740 --> 00:11:25.171
What size are you?

00:11:25.173 --> 00:11:26.239
I'm an eight, madam.

00:11:26.241 --> 00:11:28.037
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Oh, my God.

00:11:28.039 --> 00:11:30.506
Just hide them.

00:11:30.508 --> 00:11:31.837
No rich woman
wears an eight.

00:11:31.839 --> 00:11:34.007
Louboutin doesn't even
make an eight. Stay.

00:11:38.773 --> 00:11:41.539
Toby! Welcome to Paris.

00:11:41.541 --> 00:11:43.204
Glad they didn't
stop you at the border.

00:11:43.206 --> 00:11:45.870
Well, as Lord Mayor
I'm issuing visas for London.

00:11:45.872 --> 00:11:47.704
You say the word,
Bob, I'll give you one.

00:11:47.706 --> 00:11:50.038
London?
Where is that anyhow?

00:11:50.040 --> 00:11:51.872
Little England.
Former Empire.

00:11:51.874 --> 00:11:55.705
- I remember now. (SINGS) Rue Bretagna.
- That's the one.

00:11:55.707 --> 00:11:58.104
You must be Michael.
Bob Fredericks.

00:11:58.106 --> 00:11:59.673
Pleased to meet you.

00:11:59.675 --> 00:12:01.339
- Nice little place you've have here.
- (DOORBELL RINGS)

00:12:01.341 --> 00:12:03.737
Family <i>pied de terre.</i>
Small but cozy.

00:12:03.739 --> 00:12:04.940
ANNE: Hi, Toby!

00:12:06.040 --> 00:12:07.040
Fabulous.

00:12:08.106 --> 00:12:09.174
Hello, Michael.

00:12:10.341 --> 00:12:12.406
My dears!

00:12:12.408 --> 00:12:14.338
I'm sorry about
the security detail.

00:12:14.340 --> 00:12:16.238
It's Toby's favorite
style statement.

00:12:16.240 --> 00:12:17.670
Did you bring
your food taster?

00:12:17.672 --> 00:12:19.574
What if we're serving
poison tonight? (CHUCKLES)

00:12:23.373 --> 00:12:24.605
I have no news, Bob.

00:12:24.607 --> 00:12:26.539
But calm down,
it's okay. It's okay.

00:12:26.541 --> 00:12:28.341
Just give them another week.
It'll be fine.

00:12:32.207 --> 00:12:34.340
- ANNE: Antoine! Helene! <i>Bonsoir.</i>
- ANTOINE: <i>Bonsoir.</i>

00:12:35.607 --> 00:12:36.907
So nice to
see you again.

00:12:38.406 --> 00:12:41.938
This place is so amazing.

00:12:41.940 --> 00:12:43.705
HELENE: Only you Americans
can come to this...

00:12:43.707 --> 00:12:46.205
Ah! Steven!
I read your book.

00:12:46.207 --> 00:12:47.671
Really?

00:12:47.673 --> 00:12:49.571
It's so very funny. Your
father's making hole-in-one.

00:12:49.573 --> 00:12:52.005
Anne taking all the credit.
Firing all the sexy girls.

00:12:52.007 --> 00:12:54.572
Nothing changed. They're
still Punch and Judy.

00:12:54.574 --> 00:12:56.204
Congratulations on the
re-election, by the way.

00:12:56.206 --> 00:12:57.539
Yes, thank you.

00:12:57.541 --> 00:12:58.838
Keep going, you'll be
England's first family.

00:12:58.840 --> 00:13:00.539
Well, don't you
write about us.

00:13:00.541 --> 00:13:02.772
Don't want the entire world knowing
about our every little secret.

00:13:02.774 --> 00:13:06.405
Don't worry. I couldn't be more blocked
if I'd eaten a pound of cement.

00:13:06.407 --> 00:13:07.505
Put me somewhere nice.

00:13:07.507 --> 00:13:09.506
I have.
In the corner.

00:13:09.508 --> 00:13:11.371
Look at that.
Homemade.

00:13:11.373 --> 00:13:12.907
(CHUCKLES) Lovely.

00:13:15.441 --> 00:13:19.240
The trick is to pretend you're
carrying a Chinese vase on your head.

00:13:19.806 --> 00:13:21.338
KIDS: Steven!

00:13:21.340 --> 00:13:22.838
You walk tall and slow.

00:13:22.840 --> 00:13:24.741
And you shine, Maria.

00:13:25.772 --> 00:13:27.007
You shine.

00:13:27.941 --> 00:13:29.372
This is not going to work.

00:13:29.374 --> 00:13:30.705
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

00:13:30.707 --> 00:13:32.206
STEVEN: You know baby,
it's cold outside so

00:13:32.208 --> 00:13:34.041
I think you're going to
need an extra layer.

00:13:35.340 --> 00:13:37.105
Mr. Steven, it's summertime.

00:13:37.107 --> 00:13:39.372
Exactly.
It's party time.

00:13:39.374 --> 00:13:41.538
DAVID: Antoine, you still haven't told
me how you want to deal the press.

00:13:41.540 --> 00:13:43.871
It's not every day
a Caravaggio changes hands.

00:13:43.873 --> 00:13:46.239
There's
no rush, is there?

00:13:46.241 --> 00:13:50.839
Of course not. We both have to
be satisfied with the results.

00:13:50.841 --> 00:13:53.572
The X-ray team were asking for
another ten thousand euros.

00:13:53.574 --> 00:13:56.037
They're sending their best
people over from New York.

00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:58.439
Bob, let me split
the fee with you.

00:13:58.441 --> 00:14:01.206
Absolutely not.
I wouldn't hear of it.

00:14:01.208 --> 00:14:04.405
Just give me an invitation
once it's on your wall.

00:14:04.407 --> 00:14:06.373
I won't keep it
at home.

00:14:06.375 --> 00:14:08.441
It will have a pride
of place at my museum.

00:14:10.040 --> 00:14:11.107
Once we know
it's real.

00:14:13.373 --> 00:14:14.374
Maria?

00:14:15.373 --> 00:14:16.638
What is this nonsense?

00:14:16.640 --> 00:14:18.571
MARIA: It's not
going to work, madam.

00:14:18.573 --> 00:14:20.570
Your friends, the Bernards. They have been
here before, they would have seen her.

00:14:20.572 --> 00:14:22.737
They haven't seen her.
Nobody looks at a maid.

00:14:22.739 --> 00:14:25.038
Now come on out here,
Maria, right this minute.

00:14:25.040 --> 00:14:26.537
They will recognize me, madam.

00:14:26.539 --> 00:14:29.105
Well, if they find
your face familiar,

00:14:29.107 --> 00:14:30.872
they'll just think they
saw you at a fashion show.

00:14:30.874 --> 00:14:32.838
Madam, you know
it's a sin to lie?

00:14:32.840 --> 00:14:34.604
You're not lying,
you're not hurting anybody.

00:14:34.606 --> 00:14:36.604
It's like a part in
our own little play.

00:14:36.606 --> 00:14:38.405
It's fun. It's like
being in a movie.

00:14:38.407 --> 00:14:40.905
Except you're changing your life
from ABC to HBO, you get it?

00:14:40.907 --> 00:14:42.338
Not really.

00:14:42.340 --> 00:14:44.438
(GROANS) I'll make it
simple, avoid them.

00:14:44.440 --> 00:14:46.670
You're at the far end
of the table anyway.

00:14:46.672 --> 00:14:50.104
What about Jacques? Jacques would
make a perfect guest, madam.

00:14:50.106 --> 00:14:52.604
Steven, you have
a dress I can wear?

00:14:52.606 --> 00:14:54.571
No, no, no.
Forget it. Okay.

00:14:54.573 --> 00:14:56.838
This is Bob's fault and
I want him to suffer.

00:14:56.840 --> 00:14:59.838
Now, Maria let me
look at you.

00:14:59.840 --> 00:15:02.273
Oh my God.
She's not even dressed.

00:15:02.275 --> 00:15:04.706
Will you get her pulled together, please.
And listen to me.

00:15:05.374 --> 00:15:06.670
Don't speak to much.

00:15:06.672 --> 00:15:09.938
Don't smile too much
and don't eat too much.

00:15:09.940 --> 00:15:11.405
Yes, madam.

00:15:11.407 --> 00:15:16.204
Don't drink too much either.
Nobody likes that. Trust me.

00:15:16.206 --> 00:15:18.537
How do I rate amongst
your students?

00:15:18.539 --> 00:15:20.837
You're definitely not
the most disciplined one.

00:15:20.839 --> 00:15:23.038
You're the most studious.
You're the most studious one.

00:15:23.040 --> 00:15:24.905
- The most studious one?
- Yes.

00:15:24.907 --> 00:15:27.239
I wish I could think of something
to say now in French but

00:15:27.241 --> 00:15:28.670
now I'm baffled.

00:15:28.672 --> 00:15:30.438
You're always baffled.

00:15:30.440 --> 00:15:32.339
Anne! Not always.

00:15:32.341 --> 00:15:33.771
You remember
my French teacher?

00:15:33.773 --> 00:15:35.072
Ah! Yes, Melanie.

00:15:35.074 --> 00:15:36.404
Fanny. I'm Fanny.

00:15:36.406 --> 00:15:38.771
Of course.
How silly of me.

00:15:38.773 --> 00:15:40.940
Don't worry about it. I'll
answer to almost anything.

00:15:43.073 --> 00:15:44.073
Ah. (SIGHS)

00:15:56.241 --> 00:15:57.507
Don't speak to much.

00:15:58.273 --> 00:16:00.405
Don't eat too much.

00:16:00.407 --> 00:16:01.774
Don't smile to much.

00:16:02.706 --> 00:16:03.907
(MUTTERING IN FRENCH)

00:16:33.707 --> 00:16:34.707
Who is that?

00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:40.438
What's her name.
Who is she really?

00:16:40.440 --> 00:16:42.237
What are you
talking about?

00:16:42.239 --> 00:16:45.272
She'll claim she's Maria
Escalante but the truth is she's

00:16:45.274 --> 00:16:47.541
Maria Immaculata
of the Two Sicilies.

00:16:48.607 --> 00:16:49.838
You're not serious?

00:16:49.840 --> 00:16:53.904
Countess of Asturias,
the House of Bourbon,

00:16:53.906 --> 00:16:55.872
second cousin of
Juan Carlos.

00:16:55.874 --> 00:16:57.074
She'll deny it.

00:16:58.373 --> 00:16:59.439
And I never told you.

00:17:10.340 --> 00:17:12.338
Are you a fan
of Caravaggio?

00:17:12.340 --> 00:17:14.241
(STAMMERS)
I love the holy family.

00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:16.241
Oh. Good for you.

00:17:18.039 --> 00:17:21.505
I keep a portrait of the
baby Jesus by my bed.

00:17:21.507 --> 00:17:23.905
Oh, by whom? I'm a big
fan of the masters.

00:17:23.907 --> 00:17:24.907
Let me guess.

00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:26.807
- El Greco.
- No.

00:17:27.373 --> 00:17:28.571
- Goya.
- No.

00:17:28.573 --> 00:17:30.105
No, I've got it.

00:17:30.107 --> 00:17:32.004
Dali.
I'm right, yes?

00:17:32.006 --> 00:17:34.173
The artist doesn't
matter so much.

00:17:34.175 --> 00:17:36.340
It's the expression
on the baby's face.

00:17:37.539 --> 00:17:39.371
Yes. We musn't
take that for granted.

00:17:39.373 --> 00:17:43.538
And the holy mother.
How she loves him.

00:17:43.540 --> 00:17:45.907
<i>Madame,</i> (SPEAKS FRENCH)
The dinner is served.

00:17:50.173 --> 00:17:55.438
So, tonight's a sort of
last supper in a way.

00:17:55.440 --> 00:17:57.772
This maybe the last time
you see this painting.

00:17:57.774 --> 00:18:00.604
I'm brokering this sale
to Antoine Bernard.

00:18:00.606 --> 00:18:02.071
Oh, <i>Monsieur</i> Antoine.

00:18:02.073 --> 00:18:03.672
He's a friend
of the family.

00:18:03.674 --> 00:18:05.239
Ah, excellent.

00:18:05.241 --> 00:18:06.540
Let me introduce myself.

00:18:09.372 --> 00:18:11.240
I am David Morgan.
I live in London.

00:18:11.773 --> 00:18:12.773
I am Maria.

00:18:14.006 --> 00:18:15.537
No second name?

00:18:15.539 --> 00:18:16.904
No, no. Not tonight.

00:18:16.906 --> 00:18:19.339
I'm a friend of madam.
A friend of a friend.

00:18:21.207 --> 00:18:22.741
HBO, not ABC.

00:18:26.673 --> 00:18:27.673
Oh, thank you.

00:18:31.406 --> 00:18:32.504
<i>Bon Appetit.</i>

00:18:32.506 --> 00:18:33.706
BOB: <i>Bon Appetit,</i> darling.

00:18:43.607 --> 00:18:46.772
JANE: So being married to the
mayor of London makes you what?

00:18:46.774 --> 00:18:48.670
Everybody's asking.

00:18:48.672 --> 00:18:50.571
Just another
queen I guess.

00:18:50.573 --> 00:18:52.838
Wow. That's great.
You should carry a purse.

00:18:52.840 --> 00:18:54.105
And what do you do
for a living?

00:18:54.107 --> 00:18:55.204
I'm a hairdresser.

00:18:55.206 --> 00:18:56.207
Oh great.

00:18:57.106 --> 00:18:58.405
No, I'm joking.

00:18:58.407 --> 00:18:59.838
I used to be.

00:18:59.840 --> 00:19:01.872
Then I thought I can't
be gay and a hairdresser.

00:19:01.874 --> 00:19:04.671
- Too much of a cliché. So I changed everthing.
- Oh. And you became?

00:19:04.673 --> 00:19:05.871
- Butcher.
- Oh.

00:19:05.873 --> 00:19:06.938
I'm joking.

00:19:06.940 --> 00:19:08.037
He's a shrink...

00:19:08.039 --> 00:19:09.404
He let you
run for office?

00:19:09.406 --> 00:19:11.004
I know.
Malpractice.

00:19:11.006 --> 00:19:12.771
I'll say.

00:19:12.773 --> 00:19:15.904
So, France, Paris.
Why did you come here?

00:19:15.906 --> 00:19:17.237
This house
for one thing.

00:19:17.239 --> 00:19:19.771
- And my grandfather was French.
- Oh.

00:19:19.773 --> 00:19:24.604
And to keep a woman, at some point
you have to satisfy their neurosis.

00:19:24.606 --> 00:19:26.237
They are all satisfied
analyst in New York.

00:19:26.239 --> 00:19:27.338
She talks about him?

00:19:27.340 --> 00:19:29.004
Oh, not of everyone.

00:19:29.006 --> 00:19:31.004
I think the good doctor Schwiman
can teach Michael a thing or two.

00:19:31.006 --> 00:19:33.037
- About billing, no question.
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

00:19:33.039 --> 00:19:34.505
Did you rehearse?

00:19:34.507 --> 00:19:36.072
Or do you always
speak this fast?

00:19:36.074 --> 00:19:38.205
Yes. In such a brilliant
and sarcastic way.

00:19:38.207 --> 00:19:40.004
- Years of training, my dear.
- Oh.

00:19:40.006 --> 00:19:43.171
It's harder to lie when
you speak faster.

00:19:43.173 --> 00:19:46.405
I guess that's why my
husband speaks so slowly.

00:19:46.407 --> 00:19:49.741
The Eiffel Tower has a sexual symbol
supposed to save your marriage.

00:19:50.540 --> 00:19:52.837
I will ask him.

00:19:52.839 --> 00:19:54.938
Do you really think
that love can last?

00:19:54.940 --> 00:19:56.371
I mean,
you're so smart.

00:19:56.373 --> 00:19:58.370
Could you still be
one of those?

00:19:58.372 --> 00:19:59.506
You have to let go.

00:20:00.607 --> 00:20:03.074
Well, flowers freeze
and blossom again.

00:20:03.539 --> 00:20:04.604
(SMIRKS)

00:20:04.606 --> 00:20:06.107
Don't be so cynical.

00:20:07.107 --> 00:20:10.071
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

00:20:10.073 --> 00:20:11.770
Oh. And what do
you suggest?

00:20:11.772 --> 00:20:14.205
Adultery, darling.

00:20:14.207 --> 00:20:17.236
You're just taking the problem
with you wherever you go.

00:20:17.238 --> 00:20:20.406
Make a best friend of your husband
and have lunch with me tomorrow.

00:20:21.940 --> 00:20:23.207
Oh. You're evil.

00:20:24.573 --> 00:20:25.672
No, I'm French.

00:20:25.674 --> 00:20:27.008
(CHUCKLES)

00:20:42.373 --> 00:20:43.373
Oh, oh!

00:20:45.873 --> 00:20:47.704
Go. Go.
Let me help.

00:20:47.706 --> 00:20:48.706
It's only water.

00:20:50.507 --> 00:20:53.404
I like to pour water on
myself so women can help me.

00:20:53.406 --> 00:20:54.605
Looks like fun.

00:20:54.607 --> 00:20:55.938
BOB: It's generic.

00:20:55.940 --> 00:20:58.770
When women sees a stain,
she must come and rub.

00:20:58.772 --> 00:21:01.571
You're funny. I mean,
for an American, obviously.

00:21:01.573 --> 00:21:04.938
Wow. Every guy from Cambridge
knows how to judge funny.

00:21:04.940 --> 00:21:08.337
All the English men I know think
they're funny but they never laugh.

00:21:08.339 --> 00:21:10.572
(GRUNTS LOUDLY)
I hate them.

00:21:10.574 --> 00:21:11.671
So do I.

00:21:11.673 --> 00:21:12.707
What do you think, Maria?

00:21:14.706 --> 00:21:17.038
I don't like
English people.

00:21:17.040 --> 00:21:19.571
But I do like Hugh Grant.
You know Hugh Grant?

00:21:19.573 --> 00:21:20.971
In <i>Bridget Jones.</i>

00:21:20.973 --> 00:21:24.171
He's also the one dancing
in <i>Love Actually.</i>

00:21:24.173 --> 00:21:28.403
Like this. (SINGS) <i>♪ I take
it down ♪ I take it down</i>

00:21:28.405 --> 00:21:33.737
<i>♪ You're more more more
♪ Jump, Jumping</i>

00:21:33.739 --> 00:21:35.837
You know Hugh Grant?
The beautiful one.

00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:38.037
He also had an
affair with...

00:21:38.039 --> 00:21:40.173
(SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

00:21:40.840 --> 00:21:42.371
The prostitute.

00:21:42.373 --> 00:21:45.437
Well, Of course we all
know who Hugh Grant is.

00:21:45.439 --> 00:21:47.270
ANNE: You were just saying
about knowing who laugh...

00:21:47.272 --> 00:21:49.106
You look like him.
Like Hugh Grant.

00:21:49.574 --> 00:21:51.370
(COUGHS)

00:21:51.372 --> 00:21:53.538
We all look the same from the
same part of the world. You know.

00:21:53.540 --> 00:21:57.505
Same face. Same blue eyes.
Same same funny teeth.

00:21:57.507 --> 00:21:59.838
That's beautiful.
Very beautiful.

00:21:59.840 --> 00:22:01.938
But I don't like the stupid
films he is in though.

00:22:01.940 --> 00:22:04.105
Always happy endings
and kisses in the rain.

00:22:04.107 --> 00:22:05.574
You should not
despise people.

00:22:06.574 --> 00:22:08.839
People love
happy endings, you know.

00:22:08.841 --> 00:22:10.405
They can't fight it.

00:22:10.407 --> 00:22:13.504
The hero runs.
He kisses her in the rain.

00:22:13.506 --> 00:22:14.607
People love that.

00:22:15.906 --> 00:22:17.304
Well...

00:22:17.306 --> 00:22:19.103
Would you ever consider
running for prime minister?

00:22:19.105 --> 00:22:20.272
I thought supreme leader.

00:22:20.274 --> 00:22:22.171
Would you ever
run for president?

00:22:22.173 --> 00:22:23.437
If you were
my first lady.

00:22:23.439 --> 00:22:24.840
Are you in politics?

00:22:25.539 --> 00:22:28.103
No. I'm a musician.

00:22:28.105 --> 00:22:30.037
A classical pianist
to be precise.

00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:31.871
Great.
How old are you?

00:22:31.873 --> 00:22:33.770
Nine and a half.
And you?

00:22:33.772 --> 00:22:35.838
Thirty two and a half.

00:22:35.840 --> 00:22:37.904
Is that your father
sitting next to you?

00:22:37.906 --> 00:22:40.571
Oh no. That's Fedore.
The Master.

00:22:40.573 --> 00:22:41.704
Oh.

00:22:41.706 --> 00:22:43.404
Well. I hope
you enjoy dinner.

00:22:43.406 --> 00:22:44.607
I'm so glad
you could come.

00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:46.507
Does he speak English?

00:22:47.340 --> 00:22:49.538
Oh, no.
He never speaks.

00:22:49.540 --> 00:22:51.672
JANE: Yeah. So there's
our Franck and Robin.

00:22:51.674 --> 00:22:54.505
Oh, they're beautiful.
Just like their mother.

00:22:54.507 --> 00:22:57.438
Oh, thank you.

00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:02.204
You know, it is so hard to keep being
sexy when you're a single mom.

00:23:02.206 --> 00:23:03.872
It's a constant battle.

00:23:03.874 --> 00:23:07.271
I went to this great seminar about
fighting for yourself last month,

00:23:07.273 --> 00:23:08.870
Justin Tender.
Do you know him?

00:23:08.872 --> 00:23:11.937
It was in London. Oh, my God.
He is so spiritual.

00:23:11.939 --> 00:23:13.204
Amazing. Anyway...

00:23:13.206 --> 00:23:16.371
He says that it all
starts with food.

00:23:16.373 --> 00:23:18.204
He also recommends
that you drink less.

00:23:18.206 --> 00:23:19.371
What? Water?

00:23:19.373 --> 00:23:20.407
(LAUGHS)

00:23:21.540 --> 00:23:23.171
JANE: Anne told me
you were funny.

00:23:23.173 --> 00:23:25.939
You know, she's been wanting
us to meet for a long time.

00:23:25.941 --> 00:23:28.839
DAVID: Yes. She's
a force of nature, Anne.

00:23:28.841 --> 00:23:31.571
Talk to me. This
woman's a nightmare.

00:23:31.573 --> 00:23:33.771
How do you know
she's not my friend?

00:23:33.773 --> 00:23:34.939
Well, if
that's the truth

00:23:34.941 --> 00:23:36.338
I'm going to fake
a heart attack

00:23:36.340 --> 00:23:38.104
and get dragged out
of here by my ankles.

00:23:38.106 --> 00:23:39.437
Say something to me.
Talk to me.

00:23:39.439 --> 00:23:40.637
Tell me a joke
or something.

00:23:40.639 --> 00:23:42.604
She's all over me
like a bad suit.

00:23:42.606 --> 00:23:44.604
I don't know any joke.

00:23:44.606 --> 00:23:45.840
Well,
make something up.

00:23:47.607 --> 00:23:49.340
You're putting a lot of
pressure on me.

00:23:52.006 --> 00:23:53.707
DAVID: Where's that
charming accent from?

00:23:55.239 --> 00:23:57.037
I'm a Spanish.

00:23:57.039 --> 00:23:58.503
I was born in Majorca.

00:23:58.505 --> 00:24:01.837
Asturias. I thought
it was Asturias.

00:24:01.839 --> 00:24:04.771
My ancestors were
from Asturias.

00:24:04.773 --> 00:24:06.908
See, I'm Celtic like you.

00:24:07.706 --> 00:24:09.538
Where is your family from?

00:24:09.540 --> 00:24:13.438
Oh, well my family is from a
very lovely county called Downe.

00:24:13.440 --> 00:24:16.205
My father owns
most of it. You know.

00:24:16.207 --> 00:24:18.604
He always wants me
to get my art hobby

00:24:18.606 --> 00:24:21.940
out of my system and come back
and run the family estate.

00:24:22.940 --> 00:24:26.105
You came here to
escape your father.

00:24:26.107 --> 00:24:28.704
Well, I came to London
to be an artist.

00:24:28.706 --> 00:24:30.403
But I wind up
being a consultant.

00:24:30.405 --> 00:24:32.670
So I spend my life
now flying between

00:24:32.672 --> 00:24:36.671
hotels and New York
and Paris and London.

00:24:36.673 --> 00:24:39.605
To be fair I don't know
where my real home is.

00:24:39.607 --> 00:24:42.104
Probably because
it's still in Dine.

00:24:42.106 --> 00:24:44.036
- Dine? Downe.
- Dan.

00:24:44.038 --> 00:24:45.271
- Downe.
- Dine. Downe.

00:24:45.273 --> 00:24:46.671
Dine. Downe.
Up down.

00:24:46.673 --> 00:24:48.040
Maria? Sorry, David. I'm
stealing her for a minute.

00:24:50.506 --> 00:24:52.240
Don't drink too much.

00:24:53.006 --> 00:24:54.071
No, sir.

00:24:54.073 --> 00:24:55.605
Madam told me
what to do.

00:24:55.607 --> 00:24:56.773
And what not to do.

00:24:57.773 --> 00:24:59.771
What's with
this silly idea.

00:24:59.773 --> 00:25:01.772
You must be dying here.

00:25:01.774 --> 00:25:05.070
It's like me sitting in
a plumber meeting.

00:25:05.072 --> 00:25:07.671
I was supposed to
sit close to madam.

00:25:07.673 --> 00:25:11.071
But I think somebody
mixed up the place cards.

00:25:11.073 --> 00:25:13.271
This scary fashion lady
must be here.

00:25:13.273 --> 00:25:15.870
Don't talk like a maid.

00:25:15.872 --> 00:25:17.674
Just yes or no
at the end.

00:25:18.839 --> 00:25:22.806
Be really impossible.

00:25:23.273 --> 00:25:24.471
Unpleasant.

00:25:24.473 --> 00:25:26.203
- Yes, sir.
- DAVID: Hey, Bob!

00:25:26.205 --> 00:25:28.438
Maria's got some great jokes.
I bet you didn't know that?

00:25:28.440 --> 00:25:29.937
No. I did.

00:25:29.939 --> 00:25:32.004
Yes. She was just
about to tell me one.

00:25:32.006 --> 00:25:34.504
Madam Bernard, would you like
to hear one of Maria's jokes?

00:25:34.506 --> 00:25:36.336
HELENE:
Yes. Of course.

00:25:36.338 --> 00:25:39.007
Don't force her.
She's embarrassed.

00:25:39.640 --> 00:25:40.841
And very shy.

00:25:41.739 --> 00:25:43.070
I'm very unpleasant.

00:25:43.072 --> 00:25:44.204
DAVID: Oh, come on.

00:25:44.206 --> 00:25:45.672
You're very funny.

00:25:45.674 --> 00:25:46.903
We're all friends here.
Who'd like to hear a joke.

00:25:46.905 --> 00:25:48.071
- Oh, no.
- DAVID: Come on love.

00:25:48.073 --> 00:25:50.504
Everyone's funny with
a Spanish accent.

00:25:50.506 --> 00:25:53.404
The only joke I know
is very vulgar.

00:25:53.406 --> 00:25:56.505
My uncle, Pedro, used to
tell it when he was drunk.

00:25:56.507 --> 00:25:57.837
I don't think
it's appropriated.

00:25:57.839 --> 00:25:59.103
Oh, no, don't bother.

00:25:59.105 --> 00:26:00.405
Don't force yourself.

00:26:00.407 --> 00:26:01.741
Come on. Live a little.
Tell us a joke.

00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:05.274
Okay. You want it.
You have it.

00:26:06.539 --> 00:26:08.371
A family's at
the dinner table.

00:26:08.373 --> 00:26:13.870
The son asks the father, "Dad, how
many kinds of boobs are there?"

00:26:13.872 --> 00:26:15.903
The father surprised,
answer.

00:26:15.905 --> 00:26:19.707
"Well my son, a woman
goes through three phases:

00:26:21.206 --> 00:26:24.873
"In her twenties, a woman's
breast are like melons.

00:26:25.872 --> 00:26:28.170
"Round and firm.

00:26:28.172 --> 00:26:31.705
"In her thirties and forties
they are like pears.

00:26:31.707 --> 00:26:34.174
"Still nice but
hanging a bit.

00:26:35.405 --> 00:26:37.805
"In her fifties,
they are like onions."

00:26:38.373 --> 00:26:39.671
"Onions, Dad?"

00:26:39.673 --> 00:26:42.869
"Yes. You see them
and they make you cry."

00:26:42.871 --> 00:26:44.906
(EVERYONE LAUGHS)

00:26:45.772 --> 00:26:47.371
HELENE: Hilarious.

00:26:47.373 --> 00:26:50.170
Wait. I didn't finish yet
because I'm translating

00:26:50.172 --> 00:26:51.803
straight from the Spanish
in my head.

00:26:51.805 --> 00:26:54.270
This one's amusing. She just
like Google translator.

00:26:54.272 --> 00:26:56.438
The daughter asks
the mother:

00:26:56.440 --> 00:26:59.506
"Mom, how many kinds of
willies are there?"

00:27:00.607 --> 00:27:02.238
The mother answers.

00:27:02.240 --> 00:27:06.104
"Well my dear, a man goes
through three phases too..."

00:27:06.106 --> 00:27:07.574
Love the voice of
the wife. Keep going.

00:27:09.239 --> 00:27:15.505
"In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree.
Mighty and hard.

00:27:15.507 --> 00:27:21.706
"In his 30s and 40s, it's like a
birch tree, flexible but reliable.

00:27:23.539 --> 00:27:26.604
"After 50, it's like
a Christmas tree."

00:27:26.606 --> 00:27:29.003
"A Christmas tree, Mommy?"
"Yes.

00:27:29.005 --> 00:27:33.171
"Dead from the root up and the
balls are just for decoration."

00:27:33.173 --> 00:27:34.940
(EVERYONE LAUGHS)

00:27:37.372 --> 00:27:39.338
JANE: That's a rude joke.

00:27:39.340 --> 00:27:41.037
It's not even funny.

00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:42.770
I have a better one about (SPEAKING
SPANISH) Do you want to hear it?

00:27:42.772 --> 00:27:44.736
No, that will be fine.
Thank you.

00:27:44.738 --> 00:27:47.073
ANNE: I think that's plenty.
Thank you. You're so...

00:27:47.605 --> 00:27:48.739
She's so funny.

00:27:52.406 --> 00:27:56.870
STEVEN: I can understand now why my dad
is making so much progress in french.

00:27:56.872 --> 00:28:00.339
Bet he took one look at you and said
I want to learn French immediately.

00:28:01.406 --> 00:28:02.406
No.

00:28:03.840 --> 00:28:06.736
His wife forced him
to learn

00:28:06.738 --> 00:28:08.405
<i>la langue de</i> Moliere.

00:28:08.407 --> 00:28:09.571
Thank you for this.

00:28:09.573 --> 00:28:10.937
It's become my
instant favorite.

00:28:10.939 --> 00:28:13.007
So you're the revenge.

00:28:13.773 --> 00:28:14.907
I don't get it.

00:28:16.706 --> 00:28:18.906
STEVEN: She used to
be his golf teacher.

00:28:43.006 --> 00:28:46.405
So, what do I need to wear
to look more Parisian?

00:28:46.407 --> 00:28:48.270
MARINETTE: Women are
always asking me that.

00:28:48.272 --> 00:28:50.337
ANTOINE: (SPEAKS FRENCH)
No one can buy that.

00:28:50.339 --> 00:28:53.537
That's why I'm asking
for your advice.

00:28:53.539 --> 00:28:55.770
ANNE: Oh, I love what you
did with the issue by the way.

00:28:55.772 --> 00:28:57.702
HELENE:
Oh, I try my best.

00:28:57.704 --> 00:29:02.004
MICHAEL: As my grandmother always say,
tell the truth it's easy to remember.

00:29:02.006 --> 00:29:06.404
You know, in therapy I hear so
many lies, contradictions...

00:29:06.406 --> 00:29:08.903
But even your lies say
something about you...

00:29:08.905 --> 00:29:11.170
STEVEN: Um, yeah.
I'm going to marry you.

00:29:11.172 --> 00:29:13.373
And what makes you
think I'd say yes.

00:29:14.407 --> 00:29:16.607
Are all women
mad about you?

00:29:18.072 --> 00:29:19.072
The night is young.

00:29:22.340 --> 00:29:23.870
So sorry for
ignoring you buddy

00:29:23.872 --> 00:29:26.037
but this girl next to me
is really sexy.

00:29:26.039 --> 00:29:27.238
It's okay.

00:29:27.240 --> 00:29:28.703
I'm used to
not talking.

00:29:28.705 --> 00:29:30.106
You know,
with Fedor.

00:29:30.872 --> 00:29:32.669
Go and get her.

00:29:32.671 --> 00:29:34.405
Cheers, buddy.
High five.

00:29:34.407 --> 00:29:36.203
I'm not insured
for high fives.

00:29:36.205 --> 00:29:37.206
No?

00:29:38.705 --> 00:29:40.006
Are you allowed
to touch boobs?

00:29:41.507 --> 00:29:43.738
I guess so but I've never
had the opportunity.

00:29:43.740 --> 00:29:45.670
I hope I'm not
being to forward.

00:29:45.672 --> 00:29:47.039
I'd just like to say,

00:29:48.106 --> 00:29:50.106
you look absolutely
beautiful tonight.

00:29:51.105 --> 00:29:52.272
Thank you.

00:29:52.274 --> 00:29:53.439
How long have you
been in Paris?

00:29:55.205 --> 00:29:57.870
How long have you been
sleeping with my dad?

00:29:57.872 --> 00:30:01.374
Are you crazy?
I'm just his teacher.

00:30:02.273 --> 00:30:04.236
Look at you.
Your dad.

00:30:04.238 --> 00:30:05.671
Makes you sound
so childish.

00:30:05.673 --> 00:30:07.603
STEVEN:
You look like a child.

00:30:07.605 --> 00:30:09.170
I'd really like to
spank you.

00:30:09.172 --> 00:30:10.173
- (SCOFFS)
- (LAUGHS)

00:30:13.173 --> 00:30:19.204
But your dad warned me that you were
rude, alcoholic and unemployed.

00:30:19.206 --> 00:30:22.271
Yeah, but I also have some really bad
points. Did he tell you what those were?

00:30:22.273 --> 00:30:24.104
You look very elegant too.

00:30:24.106 --> 00:30:28.170
- Well, I'm the best in my price range.
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

00:30:28.172 --> 00:30:30.437
- STEVEN: Fanny you're going to be my new mother in law.
- FANNY: Shhh!

00:30:30.439 --> 00:30:33.072
It's like you and your dad are
the only two men on the planet.

00:30:33.673 --> 00:30:35.836
Oh, I see.

00:30:35.838 --> 00:30:38.237
Why would you want the egg when
you've already got the goose.

00:30:38.239 --> 00:30:39.704
I don't want the goose

00:30:39.706 --> 00:30:42.206
and I don't like the rotten egg.
Actually.

00:30:50.572 --> 00:30:51.872
Dearest darling Daddy,

00:30:52.939 --> 00:30:58.937
and his ageless,
gorgeous concubine.

00:30:58.939 --> 00:31:00.274
- BOB: Steven.
- Sorry. Sorry.

00:31:01.839 --> 00:31:03.837
Step-mom, Anne

00:31:03.839 --> 00:31:09.504
Thank you so much for inviting me
tonight to this amazing place.

00:31:09.506 --> 00:31:12.037
Where generosity
holds no bounds.

00:31:12.039 --> 00:31:13.903
Actually that's
who's getting the tab.

00:31:13.905 --> 00:31:15.605
(CHUCKLES)
Anyway. Not important.

00:31:17.006 --> 00:31:18.272
I digress.

00:31:18.274 --> 00:31:20.271
I'd just like to make
an announcement.

00:31:20.273 --> 00:31:26.571
My engagement to this amazing,
beautiful, talented creature.

00:31:26.573 --> 00:31:27.669
What's your name again?

00:31:27.671 --> 00:31:29.170
(WHISPERS)
Fuck you.

00:31:29.172 --> 00:31:31.273
Fuck you. That's an unusual name.
Don't be shy, honey.

00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:35.736
STEVEN: Don Maria.

00:31:35.738 --> 00:31:37.340
Your Highness, I would
like your blessing.

00:31:46.906 --> 00:31:48.370
Congratulations.

00:31:48.372 --> 00:31:49.837
Thank you.

00:31:49.839 --> 00:31:52.105
ANNE: Well, dear guests,

00:31:52.107 --> 00:31:55.204
we have the great honor
of sharing the table tonight

00:31:55.206 --> 00:31:57.338
with a very young,
talented prodigy:

00:31:57.340 --> 00:32:01.737
Gilles Durand and his
master Fedor Krachinsky.

00:32:01.739 --> 00:32:04.603
Gilles is only nine years old and needs
to get some sleep because he's playing

00:32:04.605 --> 00:32:06.737
a very special concert
in Vienna tomorrow night.

00:32:06.739 --> 00:32:10.702
So, we will have dessert in the
music room after we hear some...

00:32:10.704 --> 00:32:12.871
Songs my mother
taught me.

00:32:12.873 --> 00:32:14.007
Arranged by the master.

00:32:14.872 --> 00:32:15.872
There you have it.

00:32:16.273 --> 00:32:17.274
Please.

00:33:10.505 --> 00:33:11.570
Clean this.

00:33:11.572 --> 00:33:13.073
Rub, rub, rub...

00:33:14.172 --> 00:33:15.736
You did for
a long time.

00:33:15.738 --> 00:33:16.839
Not true, Mandy.

00:33:26.173 --> 00:33:27.174
We said hardly speak.

00:33:28.205 --> 00:33:29.670
I made them laugh,
madam.

00:33:29.672 --> 00:33:32.570
Yeah. Even the scary,
fashion woman.

00:33:32.572 --> 00:33:35.406
Madam, you heard that from
the other side of the table?

00:33:36.372 --> 00:33:38.270
Dinners are my job.

00:33:38.272 --> 00:33:41.837
I can follow five conversations
at the same time.

00:33:41.839 --> 00:33:43.706
And do you know what
your job is, Maria?

00:33:47.539 --> 00:33:51.071
You don't even know how
to recognize laughter.

00:33:51.073 --> 00:33:54.436
You don't know if you're
making people laugh

00:33:54.438 --> 00:33:57.037
or if they're
laughing at you.

00:33:57.039 --> 00:34:01.239
I mean can you tell the difference
between Hahaha and ohhohohoh.

00:34:02.671 --> 00:34:06.170
So actually you
never really laugh?

00:34:06.172 --> 00:34:08.338
You were supposed to play the
part of the missing guest.

00:34:08.340 --> 00:34:10.003
Silent. Forgettable.

00:34:10.005 --> 00:34:12.402
If someone finds out about
this, I will be embarrassed.

00:34:12.404 --> 00:34:14.171
And so will they.

00:34:14.173 --> 00:34:16.873
That they laughed
at my joke?

00:34:18.006 --> 00:34:19.938
Don't you play
the victim.

00:34:19.940 --> 00:34:22.736
You know I'm
a life-long democrat.

00:34:22.738 --> 00:34:25.336
It's about their mindset.
Not mine.

00:34:25.338 --> 00:34:26.671
I'm so sorry, madam.

00:34:26.673 --> 00:34:28.670
I had to much to drink.

00:34:28.672 --> 00:34:31.903
Wine is so delicious. I've
been drinking it like juice.

00:34:31.905 --> 00:34:35.705
Oh, Haut Brion 82 is an
incredible expensive juice.

00:34:37.439 --> 00:34:40.602
We should go back before the music
ends, don't you think, madam?

00:34:40.604 --> 00:34:43.704
No. No. I think that's
enough for tonight.

00:34:43.706 --> 00:34:45.871
You just...
You just go to bed.

00:34:45.873 --> 00:34:47.369
Won't they wonder
what happened to me?

00:34:47.371 --> 00:34:48.770
Oh, let me
take care of that.

00:34:48.772 --> 00:34:50.171
Well, see you tomorrow.

00:34:50.173 --> 00:34:52.536
Thank you for
everything, Maria.

00:34:52.538 --> 00:34:53.539
Okay, madam.

00:34:55.872 --> 00:34:57.739
You don't want me help
the others clean up?

00:34:58.371 --> 00:34:59.505
No. Not tonight.

00:35:01.273 --> 00:35:02.273
See you tomorrow, madam.

00:35:05.539 --> 00:35:06.540
Maria?

00:35:08.173 --> 00:35:09.174
Yes, madam?

00:35:10.605 --> 00:35:12.273
You look beautiful
with lipstick on.

00:35:13.671 --> 00:35:14.672
Thank you, madam.

00:35:57.039 --> 00:35:58.604
(DOOR SHUTS)

00:35:58.606 --> 00:35:59.703
BOB: Come on.
Come on. Come on.

00:35:59.705 --> 00:36:00.770
ANNE: Hit harder.

00:36:00.772 --> 00:36:02.003
(GROANS)

00:36:02.005 --> 00:36:03.071
Come on.
Upsy daisy.

00:36:03.073 --> 00:36:04.273
- I can't.
- Upsy daisy.

00:36:07.105 --> 00:36:08.206
God you stink.

00:36:09.439 --> 00:36:11.502
This is
outrageous behavior.

00:36:11.504 --> 00:36:12.670
BOB: Okay. Okay.

00:36:12.672 --> 00:36:14.173
Hey, hey,
look. Look.

00:36:15.106 --> 00:36:17.337
Thirteen at the table.
And...

00:36:17.339 --> 00:36:18.636
Yes.

00:36:18.638 --> 00:36:20.703
Because of Judas.
Thirteen... That's...

00:36:20.705 --> 00:36:22.072
That's way it's bad luck.

00:36:22.772 --> 00:36:23.773
Where's Maria?

00:36:24.839 --> 00:36:26.369
BOB: Gone to bed.

00:36:26.371 --> 00:36:28.106
She was the belle of the ball.

00:36:35.573 --> 00:36:36.903
ANNE: I want him
out of here.

00:36:36.905 --> 00:36:38.236
He almost ruined
the whole evening.

00:36:38.238 --> 00:36:39.704
But he didn't.

00:36:39.706 --> 00:36:41.704
And Maria. God,
I was a nervous wreck.

00:36:41.706 --> 00:36:42.840
Did you see
those shoes?

00:36:44.404 --> 00:36:47.736
You know what?
Everyone loved her.

00:36:47.738 --> 00:36:49.502
Don't ever do that
to me again, okay?

00:36:49.504 --> 00:36:50.936
You put me in
a horrible position...

00:36:50.938 --> 00:36:53.670
Hey. You improvised.

00:36:53.672 --> 00:36:55.938
You pulled it off.
Congratulations.

00:36:55.940 --> 00:36:58.370
David Morgan was
flat-out flirting with her.

00:36:58.372 --> 00:36:59.670
What's up with that?

00:36:59.672 --> 00:37:02.737
Chill. Chill.
Congratulations, I said.

00:37:02.739 --> 00:37:03.740
Hey!

00:37:56.205 --> 00:37:57.907
(PHONE RINGING)

00:38:04.839 --> 00:38:06.239
(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)

00:38:12.606 --> 00:38:13.936
Hello?

00:38:13.938 --> 00:38:15.670
DAVID: <i>Hi Steven,
it's David Morgan.</i>

00:38:15.672 --> 00:38:17.239
Sorry, <i>bonjour.</i>

00:38:18.872 --> 00:38:20.504
I think.

00:38:20.506 --> 00:38:22.505
DAVID: <i>You couldn't give me
Maria's number, could you?</i>

00:38:26.672 --> 00:38:27.672
Um...

00:38:29.672 --> 00:38:31.073
Yeah, yes sure.

00:38:31.772 --> 00:38:33.404
Stay on the phone.

00:38:33.406 --> 00:38:35.570
I just get her number
for you now.

00:38:35.572 --> 00:38:38.337
Okay. Hold on.
Hang on. Yeah.

00:38:38.339 --> 00:38:42.103
Maria? Note down your
phone number for me.

00:38:42.105 --> 00:38:43.205
Note it down quick.

00:38:45.238 --> 00:38:46.539
I'll pay you extra.

00:38:52.671 --> 00:38:53.672
Thank you.

00:38:54.571 --> 00:38:55.572
Hello?

00:38:57.204 --> 00:38:59.169
Yeah, I have it here. Yeah.

00:38:59.171 --> 00:39:06.871
689-139-134.

00:39:06.873 --> 00:39:10.003
Yeah. Yeah, I will. I'll
tell him you said thank you.

00:39:10.005 --> 00:39:11.270
Yeah. Okay. Bye bye.

00:39:11.272 --> 00:39:12.272
Hey, Dad,

00:39:13.072 --> 00:39:14.169
guess what?

00:39:14.171 --> 00:39:15.172
What?

00:39:16.605 --> 00:39:17.773
Ah... Nothing.

00:39:19.271 --> 00:39:21.605
I just had a bad dream.
That's all.

00:39:32.171 --> 00:39:33.603
ANNE: What about
your French lesson?

00:39:33.605 --> 00:39:35.739
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

00:39:42.338 --> 00:39:43.772
Stop it, okay?

00:39:45.105 --> 00:39:46.570
I'm doing this
for you, remember?

00:39:46.572 --> 00:39:48.336
You're not learning
French for me anymore.

00:39:48.338 --> 00:39:50.839
That's plain enough. Sean!
Give Maria back her phone.

00:39:51.938 --> 00:39:53.838
"Let me be direct.

00:39:53.840 --> 00:39:55.403
"You are amazing.

00:39:55.405 --> 00:39:57.937
"Very cool but
red hot too.

00:39:57.939 --> 00:40:01.072
"May I see you again?
Text yes or yes. David M."

00:40:01.872 --> 00:40:02.873
What?

00:40:04.438 --> 00:40:07.172
It's a wrong number, madam,
no one ever text me.

00:40:08.405 --> 00:40:09.503
(GASPS)

00:40:09.505 --> 00:40:11.070
It's David Morgan.

00:40:11.072 --> 00:40:12.072
You're kidding?

00:40:12.772 --> 00:40:14.337
He's kidding.

00:40:14.339 --> 00:40:16.337
"Excellent. I felt something
the moment we met."

00:40:16.339 --> 00:40:18.436
My God!
I knew it.

00:40:18.438 --> 00:40:20.737
This is because
of you. And you.

00:40:20.739 --> 00:40:22.403
The Oscar
goes to Maria.

00:40:22.405 --> 00:40:24.436
Here somebody take this I
think I'm going to throw up.

00:40:24.438 --> 00:40:25.906
STEVEN:
Good luck, Maria.

00:40:28.039 --> 00:40:29.503
Maria...

00:40:29.505 --> 00:40:30.939
This is not funny,
Bob. Shut up.

00:40:34.339 --> 00:40:37.937
Did something happen at the dinner?
Something specific?

00:40:37.939 --> 00:40:39.839
No, madam.
Nothing specific.

00:40:40.905 --> 00:40:42.838
He didn't play
footsie with you?

00:40:42.840 --> 00:40:44.537
Footsie?
What is that?

00:40:44.539 --> 00:40:45.940
What?
You know. Like...

00:40:47.339 --> 00:40:50.504
No, madam.
(SPEAKS SPANISH)

00:40:50.506 --> 00:40:52.703
He didn't touch you somewhere?
Or make you touch him?

00:40:52.705 --> 00:40:53.936
No, madam.

00:40:53.938 --> 00:40:55.072
Oh, God, So what is
this all about?

00:40:56.105 --> 00:40:58.673
What? There was
something I must say.

00:40:59.238 --> 00:41:01.036
What thing?

00:41:01.038 --> 00:41:03.038
I don't know. I felt something
when he looked at me.

00:41:03.772 --> 00:41:05.270
Yes,
the Haut Brion.

00:41:05.272 --> 00:41:08.837
The thing you felt inside was drunk, Maria.
Nothing else.

00:41:08.839 --> 00:41:10.238
Here I'm going to help
you get rid of him.

00:41:11.039 --> 00:41:12.603
What is this cell?
Nokia?

00:41:12.605 --> 00:41:14.436
You keep it for
sentimental reasons?

00:41:14.438 --> 00:41:16.271
I'm going to get you
a new iPhone

00:41:16.273 --> 00:41:18.239
for putting up with
David's insanity.

00:41:19.673 --> 00:41:22.673
Be kind please, do not insist.
There.

00:41:24.372 --> 00:41:26.069
SEAN: I beat Rose.

00:41:26.071 --> 00:41:28.236
Yeah, barely,
I got an eight.

00:41:28.238 --> 00:41:30.402
Oh, how great you
are my little stars.

00:41:30.404 --> 00:41:33.070
But you weren't even watching
me, you were talking to Maria.

00:41:33.072 --> 00:41:35.037
Look I tagged you
all over my Instagram.

00:41:35.039 --> 00:41:36.270
How many likes
did I get?

00:41:36.272 --> 00:41:37.905
Now go collect
your clubs. Go on now.

00:41:40.039 --> 00:41:41.837
Oh!

00:41:41.839 --> 00:41:44.039
Meet me at the
Georges V at 9:00.

00:41:45.038 --> 00:41:46.537
Oh, my God.
I am an idiot.

00:41:46.539 --> 00:41:49.436
(GROANS) He's excited
by your resistance.

00:41:49.438 --> 00:41:51.403
He wants you
in his bed.

00:41:51.405 --> 00:41:53.936
But I thought the Georges
V was the movie theater

00:41:53.938 --> 00:41:55.437
on the Champs Elysees,
madam?

00:41:55.439 --> 00:41:57.272
No, no. Not in this context.
It's a hotel.

00:41:58.271 --> 00:42:00.169
Georges V hotel.

00:42:00.171 --> 00:42:01.172
A hotel.

00:42:03.038 --> 00:42:06.173
BOB: Steven! Steven!
Stop fucking around, Steven.

00:42:10.506 --> 00:42:12.337
I'll turn you
into a frog.

00:42:12.339 --> 00:42:14.103
Oh, no!

00:42:14.105 --> 00:42:17.236
Okay. I'll turn you into a
princess but only until midnight.

00:42:17.238 --> 00:42:18.239
Then poof!

00:42:19.339 --> 00:42:20.706
Abracadabra!

00:42:25.904 --> 00:42:28.640
I don't trust her. I think we
should tell David the truth.

00:42:29.238 --> 00:42:31.704
No. Not yet anyways.

00:42:31.706 --> 00:42:33.370
What do you mean
not yet?

00:42:33.372 --> 00:42:35.869
Wait until he
verified the painting.

00:42:35.871 --> 00:42:38.205
I don't want him thinking
we're a house full of liars.

00:42:38.838 --> 00:42:39.838
God forbid.

00:42:41.004 --> 00:42:42.772
It's a real
Caravaggio, Anne.

00:42:43.739 --> 00:42:45.071
Don't muddy the waters.

00:43:02.705 --> 00:43:04.106
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

00:43:21.205 --> 00:43:22.835
MARIA: <i>What are
we going to see?</i>

00:43:22.837 --> 00:43:24.539
A horror movie,
of course,

00:43:25.438 --> 00:43:27.038
so you jump
into my arms.

00:43:28.705 --> 00:43:31.370
Madam. Anne,
our friend

00:43:31.372 --> 00:43:34.173
she thought it was
the Georges V hotel.

00:43:36.673 --> 00:43:39.072
Anne does not know the
first thing about romance.

00:43:42.905 --> 00:43:45.839
Listen, Maria, there's something I
must tell you straight off the bat.

00:43:47.338 --> 00:43:48.339
I know who you are.

00:43:50.239 --> 00:43:53.573
What I mean is I know
who you really are.

00:43:56.938 --> 00:43:58.770
Somebody told me
at the party.

00:43:58.772 --> 00:44:00.569
I promised
I wouldn't say who.

00:44:00.571 --> 00:44:02.236
Oh, my God.
It was Steven.

00:44:02.238 --> 00:44:03.403
He wasn't supposed...

00:44:03.405 --> 00:44:04.838
Listen.
It's all right.

00:44:06.439 --> 00:44:07.439
I don't care.

00:44:09.338 --> 00:44:10.871
It makes
no difference to me.

00:44:11.539 --> 00:44:12.539
Really?

00:44:13.037 --> 00:44:14.038
Yeah.

00:44:16.005 --> 00:44:17.272
You honestly
feel that way?

00:44:20.272 --> 00:44:23.336
And I have a daughter.
Did he tell you that?

00:44:23.338 --> 00:44:24.738
A princess,
I'm sure.

00:44:26.738 --> 00:44:30.438
The topic, <i>mi amor,</i>
is closed.

00:44:50.706 --> 00:44:52.573
You know they were
supposed to destroy them?

00:44:54.238 --> 00:44:55.704
It was a big scandal
at the time.

00:44:57.605 --> 00:44:59.870
Like everything new.

00:44:59.872 --> 00:45:02.905
People are afraid when they can't
link a feeling with another one.

00:45:04.738 --> 00:45:06.570
And how do you
feel right now?

00:45:06.572 --> 00:45:07.573
Empty.

00:45:09.205 --> 00:45:10.206
Let's make a wish.

00:45:38.504 --> 00:45:40.569
Are you okay?
You look sad?

00:45:40.571 --> 00:45:43.936
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

00:45:43.938 --> 00:45:46.671
Your mother's never been
so happy in all her life.

00:45:47.171 --> 00:45:48.703
<i>Okay.</i>

00:45:48.705 --> 00:45:52.370
Now, I will pop this in FedEx.
You will have it by Thursday.

00:45:52.372 --> 00:45:54.173
<i>I wish you could
come and see me.</i>

00:45:54.938 --> 00:45:56.739
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

00:45:57.671 --> 00:45:58.672
<i>Look.</i>

00:46:05.704 --> 00:46:07.102
Ah.

00:46:07.104 --> 00:46:08.703
Where were you?

00:46:08.705 --> 00:46:11.237
Oh, you know, doing a little
shopping at the Galerie Lafayette.

00:46:11.239 --> 00:46:12.604
Are you okay?

00:46:12.606 --> 00:46:15.870
I'm fine. Just
starving, that's all.

00:46:15.872 --> 00:46:18.671
Maria just asked me if she could go.
She just left.

00:46:20.105 --> 00:46:22.369
Mandy is with the kids.

00:46:22.371 --> 00:46:24.170
Did she have
make up on?

00:46:24.172 --> 00:46:25.704
Lipstick? A skirt?

00:46:26.204 --> 00:46:27.802
Excuse me?

00:46:27.804 --> 00:46:29.671
There's something very strange
going on with Maria. Trust me.

00:46:31.272 --> 00:46:33.570
Okay, can you tell me
about it over steak?

00:46:33.572 --> 00:46:35.103
There's this nice bistro
on the corner.

00:46:35.105 --> 00:46:36.270
She is seeing him, Bob.

00:46:36.272 --> 00:46:37.570
This morning
she came late

00:46:37.572 --> 00:46:38.869
and she looked like
she'd been fucking.

00:46:38.871 --> 00:46:40.437
Oh, my God!

00:46:40.439 --> 00:46:42.003
(HONKING)

00:46:42.005 --> 00:46:43.571
- BOB: I'm coming!
- Come on, Bob.

00:46:43.573 --> 00:46:45.537
Oh, my God. I'd hate to
see if there was a fire.

00:46:45.539 --> 00:46:47.402
- You move like a tortoise.
- BOB: Yeah.

00:46:47.404 --> 00:46:49.771
Oh, my God!
Okay. Let's follow her.

00:46:52.071 --> 00:46:55.070
Come on. Turn it on.
Let's go now. Drive fast.

00:46:55.072 --> 00:46:58.602
Be like the French. Go!
Go! Go! Go! Oh, my God!

00:46:58.604 --> 00:46:59.703
Shut up.

00:46:59.705 --> 00:47:01.106
Do not talk to me
that way.

00:47:11.105 --> 00:47:14.205
ANNE: You're parking. Go
around the block. Fast. Go.

00:47:21.372 --> 00:47:23.339
- MAN: <i>Bonsoir, Monsieur</i> Morgan.
- DAVID: <i>Bonsoir.</i>

00:47:34.071 --> 00:47:35.172
It's nice, no?

00:47:38.105 --> 00:47:40.769
(ANNE SIGHS)

00:47:40.771 --> 00:47:44.768
Oh, please, he can't be serious.
Look, Bob, he's taking her to

00:47:44.770 --> 00:47:46.169
the <i>Petit Bistro d'Auteuil.</i>

00:47:46.171 --> 00:47:48.936
Obviously.
I'm not blind.

00:47:48.938 --> 00:47:52.203
That's one of my favorite restaurants.
I mean... (SCOFFS)

00:47:52.205 --> 00:47:53.339
At least it's food.

00:47:55.837 --> 00:47:58.669
Can we go back home now?
You can fire her tomorrow.

00:47:58.671 --> 00:48:01.502
I can't fire her. She run's
the house like clockwork.

00:48:01.504 --> 00:48:03.869
Well, you trained her.

00:48:03.871 --> 00:48:07.404
She's not a biochemist.
She's just a housemaid.

00:48:07.406 --> 00:48:10.236
Look. You don't get it. It takes,
you know, at least half a day

00:48:10.238 --> 00:48:12.203
to learn how to fold
my skirts alone,

00:48:12.205 --> 00:48:13.935
you know, I mean,
it's a mess.

00:48:13.937 --> 00:48:15.403
It's a total
fucking mess.

00:48:15.405 --> 00:48:16.936
I think you're
overreacting.

00:48:16.938 --> 00:48:18.502
But I'll talk to her.

00:48:18.504 --> 00:48:20.935
Could he be in love with her?
Is that possible?

00:48:20.937 --> 00:48:22.604
Well admit it,
she's got a great ass.

00:48:24.005 --> 00:48:26.236
Maybe vacuum cleaning's
the new Pilates.

00:48:26.238 --> 00:48:27.438
She's terribly ugly.
Right?

00:48:28.439 --> 00:48:29.569
I don't know.

00:48:29.571 --> 00:48:31.902
She's got
a kind of charm.

00:48:31.904 --> 00:48:35.102
Oh, my God.
Now you too.

00:48:35.104 --> 00:48:37.269
How about we both go in
there and have our dinner?

00:48:37.271 --> 00:48:38.339
Because they would see us.

00:48:39.837 --> 00:48:41.501
She's the guilty one,
not us.

00:48:41.503 --> 00:48:42.504
(SIGHS) Bob.

00:48:44.870 --> 00:48:45.871
It's good.

00:48:47.205 --> 00:48:48.603
You see.

00:48:48.605 --> 00:48:49.906
Everything's new to you.

00:48:51.438 --> 00:48:52.838
You're like
a kid, Maria.

00:48:54.339 --> 00:48:58.770
And you have
a play date after dinner

00:48:58.772 --> 00:49:01.373
You realize I'm a fervent
believer, David?

00:49:02.172 --> 00:49:04.037
Oh, I know.

00:49:04.039 --> 00:49:06.770
I hear you calling for God
when you're in bed with me.

00:49:06.772 --> 00:49:10.871
Maybe, yeah, I am a kid.
But you, you're a teenager.

00:49:12.172 --> 00:49:13.206
Oversexed.

00:49:13.904 --> 00:49:15.072
In the worst way.

00:49:16.537 --> 00:49:18.003
I'll have you know,

00:49:18.005 --> 00:49:20.868
when I was a teenager,
I was going to be a priest.

00:49:20.870 --> 00:49:22.703
- Oh, my God.
- You see.

00:49:22.705 --> 00:49:25.669
You're doing it again.
Calling his name.

00:49:25.671 --> 00:49:27.038
I'm starting to
get jealous, Maria.

00:49:29.239 --> 00:49:32.337
ANNE: It's like
a slow motion car crash.

00:49:32.339 --> 00:49:34.103
I've never seen you
this way.

00:49:34.105 --> 00:49:36.770
Well, it's like my own
little catastrophe.

00:49:36.772 --> 00:49:39.536
She know the color of our underwear.
She cleans our sheets.

00:49:39.538 --> 00:49:42.273
She knows when we have sex.
She knows when I throw up.

00:49:43.671 --> 00:49:44.936
You're still
throwing up?

00:49:44.938 --> 00:49:46.536
Well, not in a major way.

00:49:46.538 --> 00:49:49.405
I just want to stay,
you know, sexy.

00:49:51.238 --> 00:49:52.602
Hang on.

00:49:52.604 --> 00:49:53.605
What are you doing?

00:49:54.105 --> 00:49:55.668
Hunting.

00:49:55.670 --> 00:49:57.039
Hunting for what?

00:49:57.704 --> 00:50:00.206
God, it's not 1878.

00:50:04.839 --> 00:50:05.839
(SIGHS)

00:50:07.172 --> 00:50:08.601
I wanted to
send you flowers.

00:50:08.603 --> 00:50:10.602
What kind of flowers?

00:50:10.604 --> 00:50:12.505
Well, give me an address
and you'll find out.

00:50:15.505 --> 00:50:16.772
Don't be afraid
of me, Maria.

00:50:18.705 --> 00:50:20.405
You and your family,
I give you my word.

00:50:21.905 --> 00:50:23.872
Complete and
utter discretion.

00:50:25.604 --> 00:50:30.105
Meanwhile...
A gift for you.

00:50:37.704 --> 00:50:39.238
Oh, my God.

00:50:40.772 --> 00:50:42.369
I can't accept.
They are...

00:50:42.371 --> 00:50:45.105
Perfect.
For your hair.

00:50:46.405 --> 00:50:47.405
For your eyes.

00:50:49.370 --> 00:50:51.437
For your tattoo
my white princess.

00:50:55.670 --> 00:50:58.038
That's it. I'm going to
have to tell him the truth.

00:50:58.705 --> 00:51:00.169
Don't.

00:51:00.171 --> 00:51:02.202
He'll think we were
making fun of him.

00:51:02.204 --> 00:51:03.370
I can not afford that.

00:51:03.372 --> 00:51:05.006
Come on. Do we have
any money problems?

00:51:05.604 --> 00:51:08.170
Absolutely not.

00:51:08.172 --> 00:51:13.102
But <i>Monsieur</i> Antoine Bernard and
his museum must have a Caravaggio.

00:51:13.104 --> 00:51:14.935
I'm only
too happy to oblige.

00:51:14.937 --> 00:51:16.172
That is if it is
the real thing.

00:51:20.404 --> 00:51:23.170
We pocket
a kings ransom.

00:51:23.172 --> 00:51:24.672
So keep your mouth shout.

00:51:37.570 --> 00:51:39.404
(IPAD RINGING)

00:51:43.671 --> 00:51:45.770
Finally,
Doctor Schwiman.

00:51:45.772 --> 00:51:48.836
Are you all right? I saw your
text about an emergency.

00:51:48.838 --> 00:51:51.102
<i>No, I'm not all right.
I'm about to kill that woman.</i>

00:51:51.104 --> 00:51:53.069
What's happening?
You in bed?

00:51:53.071 --> 00:51:54.269
<i>Yes, I am.</i>

00:51:54.271 --> 00:51:56.037
Well, it's the middle of
the night for you.

00:51:56.039 --> 00:51:58.202
<i>Are you going to listen or
just make stupid remarks?</i>

00:51:58.204 --> 00:51:59.535
BOB: <i>It's the middle
of the night.</i>

00:51:59.537 --> 00:52:00.835
See.

00:52:00.837 --> 00:52:02.238
<i>Well, if you'd
call back sooner.</i>

00:52:03.337 --> 00:52:04.535
<i>Hello, doctor.</i>

00:52:04.537 --> 00:52:05.768
<i>Hello, Bob.</i>

00:52:05.770 --> 00:52:07.938
Bob, this is
a private consultation.

00:52:09.238 --> 00:52:10.239
Please.

00:52:14.039 --> 00:52:17.336
Okay. I just...
(CLEARS THROAT)

00:52:17.338 --> 00:52:23.602
I mean, you know, I've had to fight my whole
entire life for everything, even men.

00:52:23.604 --> 00:52:28.504
How can this woman, this this
maid inspire such feelings?

00:52:29.770 --> 00:52:31.035
<i>Go on.</i>

00:52:31.037 --> 00:52:32.105
I feel so alone.

00:52:33.938 --> 00:52:37.836
You know, even in a crowded room.
I fell lonely, doctor.

00:52:37.838 --> 00:52:39.872
Are you serious?

00:52:56.039 --> 00:52:57.372
Tell me the truth, Maria.

00:53:00.271 --> 00:53:02.369
What is your secret dream?

00:53:02.371 --> 00:53:03.571
Everyone's got
a secret dream.

00:53:04.872 --> 00:53:06.539
I gave up on dreams you know.

00:53:07.438 --> 00:53:08.872
I have simple desires.

00:53:10.671 --> 00:53:12.435
I want my daughter
to be happy.

00:53:12.437 --> 00:53:14.502
Oh, tell the truth come on.

00:53:14.504 --> 00:53:17.103
Everyone's got a project.
You must have a plan.

00:53:17.105 --> 00:53:18.106
Well,

00:53:20.570 --> 00:53:22.505
it will sound
ridiculous to you.

00:53:23.770 --> 00:53:26.368
Sweetheart,

00:53:26.370 --> 00:53:30.070
anything you would say to me will
never ever sound ridiculous.

00:53:30.072 --> 00:53:31.604
Come on.
What is it?

00:53:33.071 --> 00:53:36.605
I would like to invent the
half pack of baking powder.

00:53:38.737 --> 00:53:39.835
Baking powder?

00:53:39.837 --> 00:53:42.170
Yes. I cook
a lot, you see

00:53:42.172 --> 00:53:46.435
and no recipe uses the whole
packet of baking powder. None.

00:53:46.437 --> 00:53:48.569
It's always half
of the packet.

00:53:48.571 --> 00:53:50.703
Then you leave
the rest in the cupboard.

00:53:50.705 --> 00:53:52.837
But you don't use it
never again

00:53:52.839 --> 00:53:55.502
because you're afraid
it got spoiled.

00:53:55.504 --> 00:53:58.235
Or you're not sure if it's
a real half remaining there,

00:53:58.237 --> 00:54:00.668
perhaps more, perhaps it's
less, you know what I mean?

00:54:00.670 --> 00:54:02.571
Yeah, yeah, I get
the point. It's...

00:54:03.737 --> 00:54:04.836
It's very smart.

00:54:04.838 --> 00:54:05.906
Very smart.

00:54:07.237 --> 00:54:08.902
You're a very
unusual woman, Maria.

00:54:08.904 --> 00:54:10.837
Yes, I am.

00:54:10.839 --> 00:54:12.569
Maybe you could
cook for me sometime?

00:54:12.571 --> 00:54:14.205
Invite me back
to your place.

00:54:15.238 --> 00:54:17.335
You have
that Velazquez.

00:54:17.337 --> 00:54:18.905
I could come and
prize it for you.

00:54:21.337 --> 00:54:23.235
You could take me
to Madrid.

00:54:23.237 --> 00:54:25.369
I could meet
your family.

00:54:25.371 --> 00:54:26.870
I'm brilliant
at graveling.

00:54:26.872 --> 00:54:28.402
(CLEARS THROAT)

00:54:28.404 --> 00:54:31.369
- <i>Buenos noches.</i>
- (GIGGLES)

00:54:31.371 --> 00:54:35.338
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

00:54:59.270 --> 00:55:01.569
<i>Bonsoir, monsier.</i>

00:55:01.571 --> 00:55:04.738
<i>Bonsoir. Bonsoir.</i>

00:55:14.004 --> 00:55:15.005
Wow.

00:55:18.338 --> 00:55:19.569
What's with the outfit?

00:55:19.571 --> 00:55:21.501
Well, it was
doctor Schwiman's idea.

00:55:21.503 --> 00:55:24.839
It's an exercise to expunge my anger.
Against Maria.

00:55:28.236 --> 00:55:29.237
Are you jealous?

00:55:29.938 --> 00:55:31.372
Oh, God, stop it.

00:55:35.337 --> 00:55:37.437
Anne, you're
a beautiful woman

00:55:38.771 --> 00:55:40.403
but that's not why
I married you.

00:55:40.405 --> 00:55:42.669
Am I not pretty anymore?

00:55:42.671 --> 00:55:46.703
I think you're jealous
because you're insecure.

00:55:46.705 --> 00:55:49.036
Of course, I am.
We never have sex.

00:55:49.038 --> 00:55:51.169
The world is full of
young pretty women.

00:55:51.171 --> 00:55:52.372
And Paris is the worst.

00:55:53.270 --> 00:55:54.369
Shhh...

00:55:54.371 --> 00:55:55.538
Don't shush me.

00:55:56.737 --> 00:55:58.771
We have doctors
orders don't we?

00:56:15.837 --> 00:56:17.272
(PHONE VIBRATING)

00:56:20.705 --> 00:56:22.935
I must get this.

00:56:22.937 --> 00:56:24.238
(PHONE CONTINUES TO VIBRATE)

00:56:31.069 --> 00:56:33.603
LAWYER: <i>Bob, the bank is
breathing down my neck.</i>

00:56:33.605 --> 00:56:35.536
<i>Their accounts are running low.
This is it.</i>

00:56:35.538 --> 00:56:37.904
<i>We really need
the money from the painting.</i>

00:56:37.906 --> 00:56:41.369
How much time do I have?

00:56:41.371 --> 00:56:43.735
<i>A month maybe before
the foreclosure begins.</i>

00:56:43.737 --> 00:56:45.535
<i>I can't do anything else
without you here.</i>

00:56:45.537 --> 00:56:46.538
(SIGHS)

00:57:39.503 --> 00:57:40.504
How was your evening?

00:57:41.570 --> 00:57:43.269
You scared me, madam.

00:57:43.271 --> 00:57:44.670
Is everyone okay?

00:57:44.672 --> 00:57:45.903
You're never up
so early.

00:57:45.905 --> 00:57:47.236
How would you know?

00:57:47.238 --> 00:57:50.168
Well... Sorry. I'm going
to get breakfast ready.

00:57:50.170 --> 00:57:51.504
What's in that bag,
Maria?

00:57:52.438 --> 00:57:53.438
In this one, madam?

00:57:53.970 --> 00:57:55.168
Exactly.

00:57:55.170 --> 00:57:57.735
It's a dress from
the dry cleaners, madam.

00:57:57.737 --> 00:57:59.536
Mmm.

00:57:59.538 --> 00:58:01.401
They gave it back to you like
that with no hanger, no plastic?

00:58:01.403 --> 00:58:04.235
It's for the dry cleaner. I wanted to
take it yesterday but it was closed.

00:58:04.237 --> 00:58:05.903
Really?

00:58:05.905 --> 00:58:07.770
You just said you picked it
up from the dry cleaners.

00:58:07.772 --> 00:58:10.035
Sometimes I get confused
because of my English, madam.

00:58:10.037 --> 00:58:11.536
Oh, no.

00:58:11.538 --> 00:58:13.071
Your English is perfect.

00:58:14.104 --> 00:58:15.201
Let me see the dress.

00:58:15.203 --> 00:58:16.269
This is the one...

00:58:16.271 --> 00:58:17.271
Give me the dress, Maria.

00:58:19.070 --> 00:58:20.071
Yes, madam.

00:58:22.371 --> 00:58:23.736
It's dirty, madam.

00:58:23.738 --> 00:58:25.336
It belongs at
the dry cleaners.

00:58:25.338 --> 00:58:26.935
No.

00:58:26.937 --> 00:58:29.105
It belongs to me. But I
haven't worn it in months.

00:58:30.572 --> 00:58:33.172
And it smells like you with
your cheap vanilla perfume.

00:58:34.872 --> 00:58:36.102
I don't smell anything.

00:58:36.104 --> 00:58:37.204
(SIGHS)

00:58:38.837 --> 00:58:40.205
I trusted you, Maria.

00:58:41.003 --> 00:58:42.235
I sat you at my table.

00:58:42.237 --> 00:58:43.405
I thought you
were honest.

00:58:46.538 --> 00:58:49.368
Just so I know, do you wear my underwear
when he takes you to the hotel?

00:58:49.370 --> 00:58:51.203
I don't understand,
madam.

00:58:51.205 --> 00:58:53.168
You know I hate it
when people cry.

00:58:53.170 --> 00:58:55.034
I'm so sorry.

00:58:55.036 --> 00:58:58.102
Just hurry up. The kids are
going to be late for school.

00:58:58.104 --> 00:58:59.436
I'm so sorry, madam.

00:58:59.438 --> 00:59:00.937
I don't know
what to say.

00:59:02.071 --> 00:59:04.101
I'm in love. And...

00:59:04.103 --> 00:59:05.838
Please just stop it!

00:59:06.870 --> 00:59:09.569
Okay. I am not
your friend.

00:59:09.571 --> 00:59:12.702
Try to put an end
to this nonsense.

00:59:12.704 --> 00:59:16.937
I'm advising you to think of what's
important for you and your daughter.

00:59:18.205 --> 00:59:19.205
Yes, madam.

00:59:20.237 --> 00:59:21.238
How is she by the way?

00:59:22.371 --> 00:59:23.905
Still very well.
Thanks, madam.

00:59:25.671 --> 00:59:28.669
She's got the free style
finals coming up.

00:59:28.671 --> 00:59:32.172
Good. Well, I'm really proud to
pay for such a nice girl study.

00:59:35.937 --> 00:59:36.938
Really.

00:59:38.605 --> 00:59:40.405
I'd hate to have to
be forced to stop.

00:59:43.370 --> 00:59:44.371
Yes, madam.

00:59:59.405 --> 01:00:02.868
Stop with this phone.
He will not call.

01:00:02.870 --> 01:00:05.203
We do not belong
to this world.

01:00:05.205 --> 01:00:06.568
He knows who I am.

01:00:06.570 --> 01:00:10.869
He doesn't know.
But the world does.

01:00:10.871 --> 01:00:12.403
Is that a Filipino saying?

01:00:12.405 --> 01:00:15.535
Maria, we serve,
they eat.

01:00:15.537 --> 01:00:18.402
They don't love
people like you or me.

01:00:18.404 --> 01:00:20.670
We're slaves.
Same as slaves.

01:00:20.672 --> 01:00:23.002
How can you say
such things, Mandy?

01:00:23.004 --> 01:00:24.702
Are you crazy?

01:00:24.704 --> 01:00:26.501
I'm worth as
much as madam.

01:00:26.503 --> 01:00:28.869
Even if I bring
her tea on a tray.

01:00:28.871 --> 01:00:30.368
We are human beings.

01:00:30.370 --> 01:00:31.668
You better
respect yourself.

01:00:31.670 --> 01:00:34.234
MANDY: We work
for our kids.

01:00:34.236 --> 01:00:36.002
They will be
strong at study.

01:00:36.004 --> 01:00:38.036
MARIA: But what does
this have to do with love?

01:00:38.038 --> 01:00:39.403
MANDY: Everything.

01:00:39.405 --> 01:00:41.703
There's no such
thing as love.

01:00:41.705 --> 01:00:42.835
MARIA: Clean.

01:00:42.837 --> 01:00:44.671
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

01:00:49.103 --> 01:00:50.104
(IRON BOX HISSING)

01:01:13.670 --> 01:01:18.168
FANNY: You're showing me the best baker in
Paris as if you know better than I would.

01:01:18.170 --> 01:01:19.770
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

01:01:21.171 --> 01:01:23.335
- Is that right?
- Perfect.

01:01:23.337 --> 01:01:24.671
Let me order
something else.

01:01:25.438 --> 01:01:27.372
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

01:01:32.270 --> 01:01:34.268
How do you say
Lemon tart?

01:01:34.270 --> 01:01:36.036
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

01:01:36.038 --> 01:01:37.768
<i>Non, non, non, non.</i>
We don't, we stop.

01:01:37.770 --> 01:01:39.504
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

01:01:40.736 --> 01:01:42.937
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

01:02:08.403 --> 01:02:13.336
(EVERYONE SINGING)
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you</i>

01:02:13.338 --> 01:02:14.572
Happy birthday sweetie.

01:02:16.438 --> 01:02:17.902
MARIA: Bravo!
Let's play kids.

01:02:17.904 --> 01:02:19.205
KIDS: Yeah!

01:02:21.103 --> 01:02:23.203
So...

01:02:23.205 --> 01:02:24.934
What do you think?
Boy or a girl?

01:02:24.936 --> 01:02:26.435
PSYCHIC: Well,
Let me see.

01:02:26.437 --> 01:02:28.404
You're trying to play
a trick on me here.

01:02:30.437 --> 01:02:32.435
I can feel.

01:02:32.437 --> 01:02:34.101
There's twins
in there, no?

01:02:34.103 --> 01:02:35.269
Oh, my God!

01:02:35.271 --> 01:02:36.369
It's unbelievable.

01:02:36.371 --> 01:02:37.936
I told you she was amazing.

01:02:37.938 --> 01:02:39.769
When there is two I can not
tell if there is boy or a girl.

01:02:39.771 --> 01:02:41.603
Isn't it better
than ultrasound.

01:02:41.605 --> 01:02:43.438
One of you is worried.

01:02:44.604 --> 01:02:46.104
One of you is in love.

01:02:47.003 --> 01:02:48.603
You don't have to worry.

01:02:48.605 --> 01:02:51.035
He's going to call and ask
you away for the weekend.

01:02:51.037 --> 01:02:53.004
Finally, Georges Clooney
is going to call me.

01:02:53.837 --> 01:02:55.136
What else?

01:02:55.138 --> 01:02:57.767
Well, you should go.
You should say yes.

01:02:57.769 --> 01:03:01.901
Life wasn't always nice to you and
will not always be so enjoy now.

01:03:01.903 --> 01:03:03.536
I don't know who
she's talking to

01:03:03.538 --> 01:03:04.769
but one of you is going
to have a nice weekend.

01:03:04.771 --> 01:03:06.435
Maybe it's you.

01:03:06.437 --> 01:03:09.735
The woman I'm talking about
knows exactly who she is.

01:03:09.737 --> 01:03:12.002
Should we open
the presents, madam?

01:03:12.004 --> 01:03:13.504
Are you drunk, Maria?

01:03:24.737 --> 01:03:25.938
(PHONE RINGING)

01:03:27.537 --> 01:03:30.704
<i>(THE KETCHUP SONG</i> PLAYING)

01:04:00.703 --> 01:04:06.504
(SONG CONTINUES)

01:04:41.003 --> 01:04:42.004
(GUN FIRES)

01:04:46.004 --> 01:04:47.938
You Americans and guns.
We can't fight it.

01:04:49.938 --> 01:04:51.502
Well,

01:04:51.504 --> 01:04:54.235
they give us guns at ten so
we're not tempted to play with

01:04:54.237 --> 01:04:55.837
the toy pistol
between our legs.

01:04:56.504 --> 01:04:57.504
And does it work?

01:04:58.936 --> 01:04:59.937
The guilt works.

01:05:01.438 --> 01:05:04.005
I always have a little
guilt when I'm having sex.

01:05:05.204 --> 01:05:06.704
How delicious
that must be.

01:05:08.337 --> 01:05:09.570
You must tell me
all about it.

01:05:10.137 --> 01:05:11.404
(CHUCKLES)

01:05:32.703 --> 01:05:33.838
<i>Et voila.</i>

01:05:35.004 --> 01:05:36.202
(MARIA GASPS)

01:05:36.204 --> 01:05:37.671
Oh, it's so beautiful.

01:05:38.670 --> 01:05:39.770
Is it a hotel?

01:05:40.536 --> 01:05:41.937
No, my dear.
It is not.

01:05:46.836 --> 01:05:48.770
I want you to witness
my big announcement.

01:05:49.704 --> 01:05:51.102
Check.

01:05:51.104 --> 01:05:52.171
ROSE: I'm going
to get you.

01:05:56.703 --> 01:05:58.169
What has got
into you?

01:05:58.171 --> 01:06:01.336
Let's have sex.
Or let's run away.

01:06:01.338 --> 01:06:02.802
We can have
sex tonight.

01:06:02.804 --> 01:06:05.070
And we can run away tomorrow.
Now, come on.

01:06:06.738 --> 01:06:08.768
ANNE: What I like about
chess is the vision.

01:06:08.770 --> 01:06:11.704
You know where you're going.
But nobody else has a clue.

01:06:13.404 --> 01:06:15.771
There is no such thing
as vision in chess.

01:06:16.771 --> 01:06:17.938
Only options.

01:06:19.703 --> 01:06:23.867
Well, I have my own little
shortcuts, my little lucky tricks.

01:06:23.869 --> 01:06:25.434
Lay there for a minute
and smell the flowers.

01:06:25.436 --> 01:06:26.571
What is going on?

01:06:27.904 --> 01:06:29.171
I can't go in there.

01:06:32.238 --> 01:06:33.435
Are you ashamed of me?

01:06:33.437 --> 01:06:34.503
Of course not.

01:06:35.203 --> 01:06:37.168
David,
you know me.

01:06:37.170 --> 01:06:39.068
You know who I am.

01:06:39.070 --> 01:06:41.537
I can not mix with these people.
I can't.

01:06:43.837 --> 01:06:44.838
Darling, Maria.

01:06:45.938 --> 01:06:48.369
It is the 21st century,

01:06:48.371 --> 01:06:51.004
Queen Elizabeth has
dinner with Jay Z.

01:06:52.435 --> 01:06:53.901
Come on, let's go.

01:06:53.903 --> 01:06:58.602
Stefan Zweig said that
he loved chess because

01:06:58.604 --> 01:07:01.205
it had nothing
to do with luck.

01:07:03.436 --> 01:07:05.271
KIDS: Maria! Maria!

01:07:07.238 --> 01:07:10.001
They're going to be caught
believe me.

01:07:10.003 --> 01:07:11.537
- Maria!
- Maria!

01:07:12.603 --> 01:07:14.501
Ah! (CHUCKLES)

01:07:14.503 --> 01:07:16.571
You're amazing. Does every
child in the world love you?

01:07:17.569 --> 01:07:19.370
(SIGHS)
Let's play.

01:07:22.604 --> 01:07:25.069
Gentlemen, if I can have
your attention please,

01:07:25.071 --> 01:07:26.734
I bring news
from London.

01:07:26.736 --> 01:07:29.268
Your painting has
been authentified.

01:07:29.270 --> 01:07:30.735
Hallelujah.

01:07:30.737 --> 01:07:32.272
Congratulations,
<i>mon vieux.</i>

01:07:33.370 --> 01:07:34.371
Thank you.

01:07:43.737 --> 01:07:45.704
We have many things
to celebrate today.

01:07:48.204 --> 01:07:49.504
First, our friendship.

01:07:50.369 --> 01:07:51.403
To our wives.

01:07:52.402 --> 01:07:54.002
To our families.

01:07:54.004 --> 01:07:55.868
And let's not forget,

01:07:55.870 --> 01:07:58.203
Michelangelo
Merisi da Caravaggio.

01:07:58.205 --> 01:07:59.534
That rogue.

01:07:59.536 --> 01:08:01.171
A master fornicator.

01:08:02.170 --> 01:08:03.204
At least he had fun.

01:08:05.503 --> 01:08:07.036
Taste it.

01:08:07.038 --> 01:08:10.404
It's one of the greatest wines
in the world. Bourgogne.

01:08:11.704 --> 01:08:15.238
To life.

01:08:16.037 --> 01:08:18.269
Thank you.

01:08:18.271 --> 01:08:22.269
They are both with the nice Portuguese
nanny going down for a nap.

01:08:22.271 --> 01:08:23.871
Thank you so much.

01:08:24.403 --> 01:08:25.601
Oh, my gosh,

01:08:25.603 --> 01:08:28.068
you must have the magic touch.
Shazam.

01:08:28.070 --> 01:08:30.501
HELENE: Maria,
tell us about yourself.

01:08:30.503 --> 01:08:32.871
The mysterious woman
who stole David's heart.

01:08:34.237 --> 01:08:35.868
Or his liver.

01:08:35.870 --> 01:08:37.668
His heart is
difficult to steal.

01:08:37.670 --> 01:08:39.534
(CHUCKLES)

01:08:39.536 --> 01:08:42.333
Yeah, my heart is easy to
steal but it's hard to hold.

01:08:42.335 --> 01:08:44.069
I'm Irish, after all.

01:08:44.071 --> 01:08:46.901
When did the Irish become experts
in the affairs of heart?

01:08:46.903 --> 01:08:48.737
They're supposed
to be happy drunks.

01:08:50.038 --> 01:08:51.502
BOB: The French do adultery.

01:08:51.504 --> 01:08:53.667
And the English do
spanky, spanky.

01:08:53.669 --> 01:08:55.368
DAVID: And the Americans,

01:08:55.370 --> 01:08:57.501
they have sex like they're
invading a third world country

01:08:57.503 --> 01:08:58.902
and didn't have to
pay for it afterwords.

01:08:58.904 --> 01:09:00.701
- (LAUGHS)
- ANTOINE: I can explain it.

01:09:00.703 --> 01:09:04.535
In France we choose adultery so we can
stay married to our beloved wives.

01:09:04.537 --> 01:09:08.669
The English, well, after 20
years of getting punished

01:09:08.671 --> 01:09:10.534
in boarding schools,

01:09:10.536 --> 01:09:13.035
fighting their
homosexual feelings,

01:09:13.037 --> 01:09:15.202
they only have the guts
to speak to one girl.

01:09:15.204 --> 01:09:17.404
That's it. They're
settled for life.

01:09:18.771 --> 01:09:20.172
What do you think, Maria?

01:09:21.337 --> 01:09:24.168
Oh, well, I am an
old fashion Spanish.

01:09:24.170 --> 01:09:27.769
I do believe marriage is
an important matter.

01:09:27.771 --> 01:09:29.667
So you don't lie to anyone?

01:09:29.669 --> 01:09:30.934
Interesting.

01:09:30.936 --> 01:09:32.569
She's adorable.

01:09:32.571 --> 01:09:34.068
It's like you're from the
19th century or something.

01:09:34.070 --> 01:09:36.369
Because you think women
were pure back then?

01:09:36.371 --> 01:09:37.668
Did you ever read
a book, David?

01:09:37.670 --> 01:09:39.567
Yes, I'm nearly finished
coloring it in.

01:09:39.569 --> 01:09:42.037
Seriously. Vice has
been around since,

01:09:42.838 --> 01:09:44.502
human beings themselves.

01:09:44.504 --> 01:09:46.905
And made it an excuse
to invent virtue.

01:09:48.104 --> 01:09:50.838
So, Anne, tell me.

01:09:51.570 --> 01:09:52.936
How did you meet Maria?

01:09:52.938 --> 01:09:54.035
She won't tell me.

01:09:54.037 --> 01:09:55.935
Oh, no.

01:09:55.937 --> 01:09:58.735
These two are very secretive
about their friendship.

01:09:58.737 --> 01:10:00.402
I don't even
know when they met.

01:10:00.404 --> 01:10:02.105
Why such a mystery?

01:10:05.503 --> 01:10:06.503
I am their maid.

01:10:09.236 --> 01:10:12.537
I have been cleaning their
underwear and their toilets.

01:10:13.704 --> 01:10:17.771
For about, what,
ten years now, madam?

01:10:21.202 --> 01:10:24.367
No, no. We traveled when
we were young together.

01:10:24.369 --> 01:10:26.600
And we ate at all the
finest restaurants.

01:10:26.602 --> 01:10:30.868
Tell me, did you eat at Alain Ducasse's
new restaurant in Italy yet, L'Andana?

01:10:30.870 --> 01:10:35.167
Oh, my God, you must absolutely go there.
The meat is amazing.

01:10:35.169 --> 01:10:39.769
How can you eat so much
and stay that thin?

01:10:39.771 --> 01:10:41.404
MARIA: She was
always like that.

01:10:42.237 --> 01:10:43.702
She was born like that.

01:10:43.704 --> 01:10:45.503
Beautiful. Never ages.

01:10:46.603 --> 01:10:48.200
She's a mystery.

01:10:48.202 --> 01:10:50.902
Thank you, darling.

01:10:50.904 --> 01:10:52.671
When are you going
back to New York?

01:10:53.103 --> 01:10:54.105
Soon.

01:10:56.003 --> 01:10:57.403
Are we...
Are you leaving?

01:10:58.904 --> 01:10:59.905
Yes.

01:11:01.037 --> 01:11:02.735
Fun's over.

01:11:02.737 --> 01:11:04.835
There's an investment bank
in New York I have to kill.

01:11:04.837 --> 01:11:06.267
ANNE: And I'm going
back to packing.

01:11:06.269 --> 01:11:09.567
I'm taking the kids,
the staff and heading home.

01:11:09.569 --> 01:11:10.905
But that doesn't
change your feelings?

01:11:13.070 --> 01:11:14.771
What's a few miles
between friends.

01:11:21.369 --> 01:11:23.271
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

01:11:28.236 --> 01:11:29.237
Oh, Maria.

01:11:32.670 --> 01:11:35.268
Do you realize what a mess we're
in because of your behavior?

01:11:35.270 --> 01:11:36.905
I've never asked
for anything, madam.

01:11:39.169 --> 01:11:40.171
He just...

01:11:41.271 --> 01:11:42.903
Well, it's good
you didn't ask.

01:11:42.905 --> 01:11:45.835
You're a housekeeper,
not a prostitute.

01:11:45.837 --> 01:11:48.902
It's not what you
think it is, madam.

01:11:48.904 --> 01:11:51.101
He's deeply
in love with me.

01:11:51.103 --> 01:11:52.937
True love.
He told me.

01:11:54.270 --> 01:11:56.204
The way he holds me
during the night.

01:11:57.203 --> 01:11:58.901
The way he
looks at me.

01:11:58.903 --> 01:12:00.234
Maria,
just listen to me.

01:12:00.236 --> 01:12:01.501
Anne,
I beg you.

01:12:01.503 --> 01:12:03.435
Don't call me Anne.

01:12:03.437 --> 01:12:06.402
You abused my kindness.
And you lied to me.

01:12:06.404 --> 01:12:09.434
I just did what you
asked me to do, madam.

01:12:09.436 --> 01:12:11.067
I sat at
that table.

01:12:11.069 --> 01:12:12.235
Because you
asked me to.

01:12:12.237 --> 01:12:13.835
Look, I don't
want to hurt you.

01:12:13.837 --> 01:12:16.168
I know your life is hard.

01:12:16.170 --> 01:12:17.735
But you're playing
out of your league.

01:12:17.737 --> 01:12:19.734
How do you know?

01:12:19.736 --> 01:12:21.871
How can I explain this without
hurting your feelings.

01:12:24.038 --> 01:12:26.702
This is not your world.

01:12:26.704 --> 01:12:30.435
If your opinions were really
interesting, substantial,

01:12:30.437 --> 01:12:33.104
if they had any impact
or real interest,

01:12:34.003 --> 01:12:35.170
why would you be a maid?

01:12:36.771 --> 01:12:38.267
Because I am a
Spanish immigrant.

01:12:38.269 --> 01:12:40.002
I had no options,
madam.

01:12:40.004 --> 01:12:42.101
Cervantes, El Bulli,

01:12:42.103 --> 01:12:44.400
Almodovar,
Antonio Banderas.

01:12:44.402 --> 01:12:46.236
They're all Spanish and
they're not maids, are they?

01:12:47.103 --> 01:12:48.738
He loves me, madam.

01:12:50.537 --> 01:12:52.703
Perhaps you should
believe in love too.

01:12:53.370 --> 01:12:54.371
(SIGHS ANGRILY)

01:14:15.837 --> 01:14:18.270
(MARIA SINGING IN
FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

01:14:20.671 --> 01:14:22.868
You in love.

01:14:22.870 --> 01:14:25.535
You sing and
you don't eat.

01:14:25.537 --> 01:14:26.836
I eat.

01:14:26.838 --> 01:14:27.838
Just not so much.

01:14:28.669 --> 01:14:30.737
That's how it starts.

01:14:31.437 --> 01:14:33.004
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

01:14:45.669 --> 01:14:47.835
Filthy genius.
I read it.

01:14:47.837 --> 01:14:49.034
- Uh, ha.
- Tell me it's true?

01:14:49.036 --> 01:14:50.167
It's all true.

01:14:50.169 --> 01:14:51.667
Just like the first one.

01:14:51.669 --> 01:14:53.368
Only this time, it's not
Anne and my father.

01:14:53.370 --> 01:14:54.601
It's Anne and the maid.

01:14:54.603 --> 01:14:56.102
Totally cool.

01:14:56.104 --> 01:14:57.404
And you know what?
Political.

01:14:58.102 --> 01:14:59.103
How does it end?

01:15:00.404 --> 01:15:01.404
Who knows?

01:15:02.036 --> 01:15:03.070
Badly.

01:15:03.670 --> 01:15:04.671
Join me.

01:15:22.403 --> 01:15:23.404
David!

01:15:25.903 --> 01:15:27.000
How are you?

01:15:27.002 --> 01:15:28.004
Hello, Anne.

01:15:30.204 --> 01:15:34.234
This is so funny because I wanted to
organize a double date with my friend.

01:15:34.236 --> 01:15:36.602
Remember the pretty brunette
from our dinner party? Jane.

01:15:36.604 --> 01:15:38.034
Oh, yeah.

01:15:38.036 --> 01:15:40.001
I know. She can seem a little
boring at the beginning

01:15:40.003 --> 01:15:41.502
but she's just
a little lonely.

01:15:41.504 --> 01:15:43.167
What with her divorce
and trying to figure out

01:15:43.169 --> 01:15:45.501
what to do with
all her millions.

01:15:45.503 --> 01:15:47.334
I hear she's
a real tornado in bed.

01:15:47.336 --> 01:15:49.167
(CHUCKLES)

01:15:49.169 --> 01:15:51.935
Anne, I think you're getting me confused
with, with some sort of gigolo.

01:15:51.937 --> 01:15:53.367
I'm just a humble academic.

01:15:53.369 --> 01:15:55.435
I hear you have
other talents.

01:15:55.437 --> 01:15:57.034
Maybe I could take
you out some night.

01:15:57.036 --> 01:16:00.534
Why not, when my beloved
husband is out of town.

01:16:00.536 --> 01:16:03.000
But in the meantime, I'll
get the details from Jane.

01:16:03.002 --> 01:16:04.534
Maria hasn't
already told you?

01:16:04.536 --> 01:16:05.600
Maria?

01:16:05.602 --> 01:16:06.801
Oh, my God.

01:16:06.803 --> 01:16:08.067
I thought that
nightmare was over.

01:16:08.069 --> 01:16:09.534
I feel terrible.
I wanted to call you.

01:16:09.536 --> 01:16:12.201
I just... I thought
things would end quickly.

01:16:12.203 --> 01:16:14.001
I surprised myself
to be honest.

01:16:14.003 --> 01:16:17.900
But what can I say.
She beguiles me.

01:16:17.902 --> 01:16:20.933
Look. I held back because
I'm a nice person.

01:16:20.935 --> 01:16:22.502
There's something
I have to tell you.

01:16:22.504 --> 01:16:24.501
But should remain
between us.

01:16:24.503 --> 01:16:26.401
Nobody should
be embarrassed.

01:16:26.403 --> 01:16:29.236
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

01:16:33.236 --> 01:16:34.335
I'm so sorry.

01:16:34.337 --> 01:16:35.900
It's so good
to see you.

01:16:35.902 --> 01:16:37.367
I'll call you. Okay.

01:16:37.369 --> 01:16:38.370
Okay.

01:16:41.203 --> 01:16:42.568
(EXCLAIMS)

01:16:42.570 --> 01:16:44.236
No! (GROANS)

01:16:49.771 --> 01:16:50.771
Not too tight.

01:16:52.337 --> 01:16:53.371
(SIGHS DEEPLY)

01:16:57.202 --> 01:16:58.303
All done.

01:16:58.737 --> 01:16:59.834
Okay.

01:16:59.836 --> 01:17:00.837
(GROANS SOFTLY)

01:17:04.671 --> 01:17:05.671
No, I'm fine.

01:17:07.670 --> 01:17:08.769
Oh, God.

01:17:11.336 --> 01:17:13.203
(INSTUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

01:17:38.269 --> 01:17:40.100
(SIGHS)

01:17:40.102 --> 01:17:43.070
<i>Hello, you've reached David Morgan.
Please leave a message.</i>

01:17:45.236 --> 01:17:47.670
Hi David.
It's me Maria.

01:17:50.037 --> 01:17:52.237
Nothing.
I hope you're doing well.

01:17:53.035 --> 01:17:54.403
I sent you a message.

01:17:58.270 --> 01:17:59.671
I hope you received them.

01:18:00.536 --> 01:18:01.537
And nothing...

01:18:03.436 --> 01:18:04.437
Call me back.

01:18:07.503 --> 01:18:08.503
Take care.

01:18:37.102 --> 01:18:38.104
(SIGHS)

01:18:43.671 --> 01:18:45.534
Maybe something
bad happen to him.

01:18:45.536 --> 01:18:47.535
I don't know,
an accident.

01:18:47.537 --> 01:18:48.935
I know what kind
of accident

01:18:48.937 --> 01:18:51.001
happened to man
that never call back.

01:18:51.003 --> 01:18:52.567
It's an accident
with boobs.

01:18:52.569 --> 01:18:54.334
But it's not possible.

01:18:54.336 --> 01:18:56.033
He was so
in love with me.

01:18:56.035 --> 01:18:58.504
You don't send text.
You wait.

01:18:59.437 --> 01:19:01.600
She's right.
In French we say

01:19:01.602 --> 01:19:02.868
(SPEAKS FRENCH)

01:19:02.870 --> 01:19:04.268
Make him run.

01:19:04.270 --> 01:19:05.271
(SPEAKS FRENCH)

01:19:06.269 --> 01:19:07.270
Which means...

01:19:09.036 --> 01:19:10.037
I don't know.

01:19:18.204 --> 01:19:20.837
(BOB SPEAKING IN FRENCH)

01:19:24.604 --> 01:19:26.937
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

01:19:28.670 --> 01:19:30.770
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)

01:20:05.571 --> 01:20:08.868
No, Bob it's not
very professional.

01:20:08.870 --> 01:20:10.537
Quasimodo's not watching.

01:20:12.270 --> 01:20:13.767
Quasimodo would
like this.

01:20:13.769 --> 01:20:14.769
(CHUCKLES)

01:20:32.504 --> 01:20:34.268
You know, Maria,

01:20:34.270 --> 01:20:38.167
I can feel you're embarrassed
with everything that's happened

01:20:38.169 --> 01:20:40.602
but I want you to know you're
still important in this house.

01:20:42.601 --> 01:20:46.368
I've spoken with Bob and we're
giving you a raise for Christmas.

01:20:46.370 --> 01:20:48.700
Thank you, madam. But it
will not be unnecessary.

01:20:48.702 --> 01:20:50.467
Oh, nonsense.

01:20:50.469 --> 01:20:53.034
Now will you bring tea and cake
for two in the salon, please.

01:20:53.036 --> 01:20:54.037
Yes, madam.

01:21:03.069 --> 01:21:04.070
(SIGHS)

01:21:09.370 --> 01:21:11.171
(WIND BLOWING)

01:21:18.204 --> 01:21:20.171
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)

01:21:37.069 --> 01:21:39.103
(MUSIC PLAYING)

01:22:01.170 --> 01:22:04.201
After all, you've suddenly
got all that wall space.

01:22:04.203 --> 01:22:07.234
I was thinking if you wanted
to stick to the 17th century.

01:22:07.236 --> 01:22:08.737
There is this.

01:22:09.769 --> 01:22:11.267
Oh, it's stunning.

01:22:11.269 --> 01:22:12.367
Yeah?

01:22:12.369 --> 01:22:14.268
Oh, it really is.

01:22:14.270 --> 01:22:17.933
But Christie's are having a sale in
London in a couple of weeks time.

01:22:17.935 --> 01:22:20.435
You can go modern maybe
pick up a Delacroix.

01:22:25.535 --> 01:22:28.101
- Oh, my God. It's beautiful.
- Isn't it.

01:22:28.103 --> 01:22:29.768
I don't even
know what to say.

01:22:29.770 --> 01:22:31.668
I have to show Bob.

01:22:31.670 --> 01:22:33.168
Oh, is he not here?
Is he away?

01:22:33.170 --> 01:22:35.234
He's at his
French lesson.

01:22:35.236 --> 01:22:38.234
His accent
is hilarious. (LAUGHS)

01:22:38.236 --> 01:22:41.833
Oh, yeah. Paris has
been great for us.

01:22:41.835 --> 01:22:43.903
We walk like we were
when we first met.

01:22:45.603 --> 01:22:46.703
DAVID: Congratulations.

01:22:47.569 --> 01:22:49.337
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

01:23:25.768 --> 01:23:28.037
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
CONTINUES)

01:23:58.369 --> 01:23:59.502
Bye, Steven.

01:24:01.170 --> 01:24:02.171
Bye, Maria.

01:24:03.436 --> 01:24:04.436
Take care.

01:24:27.203 --> 01:24:28.403
Did you find
your ending?

01:24:30.169 --> 01:24:31.402
I'm not sure yet.

01:24:34.570 --> 01:24:35.570
You know something?

01:24:37.937 --> 01:24:39.336
A woman I was
fond of once,

01:24:40.536 --> 01:24:42.402
told me not to
despise people.

01:24:44.769 --> 01:24:47.070
That people love
happy endings.

01:24:49.002 --> 01:24:50.003
They can't fight it.

01:24:51.870 --> 01:24:53.767
The hero runs.

01:24:53.769 --> 01:24:55.171
He kisses her
in the rain.

01:24:58.536 --> 01:24:59.537
People love it.

01:25:05.036 --> 01:25:06.036
Really?

01:25:10.837 --> 01:25:11.837
People.

01:25:14.602 --> 01:25:16.737
(INSTUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

01:26:00.977 --> 01:26:20.977
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