WEBVTT 00:00:33.305 --> 00:00:44.305 ..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::.. ‏.:: www.bolboljan.net ::. 00:00:48.546 --> 00:00:49.921 It was a scary week. 00:00:50.005 --> 00:00:52.630 'Cause here's what you got to understand. 00:00:52.713 --> 00:00:54.421 A hit television show today– 00:00:54.505 --> 00:00:57.505 a big hit television show– what does it get? 00:00:57.588 --> 00:00:58.630 Ten million viewers. 00:00:58.713 --> 00:01:01.171 Let's go crazy and say 15. 00:01:01.255 --> 00:01:05.046 15 million viewers, 'cause this is a big, giant hit. 00:01:05.130 --> 00:01:07.213 Here's what you got to understand. 00:01:07.296 --> 00:01:10.338 I Love Lucy; 60 million. 00:01:10.421 --> 00:01:12.088 Oh, yeah. 00:01:12.171 --> 00:01:15.505 It's been a long time, but I remember that week. 00:01:15.588 --> 00:01:18.421 That was a scary week. 00:01:18.505 --> 00:01:20.296 It was a very scary week. 00:01:20.380 --> 00:01:22.755 Those guys scare too easy. 00:01:22.838 --> 00:01:24.171 I'm from the Midwest. 00:01:24.255 --> 00:01:26.088 I've lived through the Depression, the Dust Bowl. 00:01:26.171 --> 00:01:27.255 I don't scare that easy. 00:01:27.338 --> 00:01:30.505 But, yeah, it was a scary goddamn week. 00:01:30.588 --> 00:01:33.296 Department stores used to be open late on Monday nights. 00:01:33.380 --> 00:01:35.255 Then they switched to Thursday night. 00:01:35.338 --> 00:01:36.463 You know why? 00:01:36.546 --> 00:01:40.171 'Cause nobody was leaving home during I Love Lucy on Mondays. 00:01:40.255 --> 00:01:44.171 There was a significant drop-off in the number of people using water 00:01:44.255 --> 00:01:46.505 between 9:00 and 9:30 on Monday nights. 00:01:46.588 --> 00:01:47.838 Out of the blue… 00:01:47.921 --> 00:01:50.130 Everyone almost lost their jobs. 00:01:50.213 --> 00:01:52.880 Lucy and Desi almost lost their lives. 00:01:52.963 --> 00:01:54.380 Out of thin air. 00:01:54.463 --> 00:01:56.838 You're asking when did they find out? 00:01:56.921 --> 00:01:59.755 Same time as everyone else, listening to Walter Winchell. 00:01:59.838 --> 00:02:04.421 I'm minding my own business, listening to Walter Winchell, and bam. 00:02:04.505 --> 00:02:06.671 At the end of the broadcast. 00:02:06.755 --> 00:02:09.005 This is what you got to understand. 00:02:09.088 --> 00:02:13.296 It wasn't small potatoes when Winchell ended his broadcast by saying… 00:02:13.380 --> 00:02:15.963 “Lucille Ball is a Communist.” 00:02:17.296 --> 00:02:18.505 Just like that. 00:02:18.588 --> 00:02:21.880 Lucille Ball is a member of the Communist Party. 00:02:21.963 --> 00:02:24.838 - Yeah. - And she'd already seen the magazine story 00:02:24.921 --> 00:02:28.255 about Desi when Winchell came on. 00:02:28.338 --> 00:02:29.880 The magazine came out on Mondays, 00:02:29.963 --> 00:02:32.338 but her publicist brought her a copy on Sunday night. 00:02:32.421 --> 00:02:34.505 What were they doing when they first heard the news? 00:02:34.588 --> 00:02:35.505 What were they doing? 00:02:35.588 --> 00:02:37.755 I don't know what Lucy and Desi were doing, 00:02:37.838 --> 00:02:41.005 but it was Lucy and Desi, so they were either tearing each other's heads off 00:02:41.088 --> 00:02:42.588 or tearing each other's clothes off. 00:02:42.671 --> 00:02:45.796 It's time America, time for Walter Winchell. 00:02:45.880 --> 00:02:48.880 Presented to you by Gruen, the Precision watch. 00:02:48.963 --> 00:02:51.171 Gruen, the finest watch you can wear. 00:02:51.255 --> 00:02:53.630 Gruen, the finest watch you can give, brings you the man… - 00:02:53.713 --> 00:02:55.838 Lucy, I'm home. 00:02:55.921 --> 00:02:58.796 Where the hell have you been, you Cuban dimwit?! 00:02:58.880 --> 00:03:00.213 Oye, easy does it. 00:03:00.296 --> 00:03:02.130 You philandering bongo player! 00:03:02.213 --> 00:03:03.505 I was playing cards with– 00:03:03.588 --> 00:03:05.588 Hey! I was playing cards with– coño. 00:03:05.671 --> 00:03:07.713 - Oh, damn it. - You tell me when it starts to hurt. 00:03:07.796 --> 00:03:09.046 ♫ ♫ 00:03:09.130 --> 00:03:11.338 - The boat? The… - Yes, we were playing cards on the boat. 00:03:11.421 --> 00:03:14.171 Since last night? Since 27 hours ago? 00:03:14.255 --> 00:03:16.255 - Yes. - And you couldn't get to a phone? 00:03:16.338 --> 00:03:17.421 - No. - Why? 00:03:17.505 --> 00:03:18.671 I was passed out a lot of that time. 00:03:21.130 --> 00:03:23.838 That's tomorrow's Confidential. 00:03:23.921 --> 00:03:25.588 Why do you even read that magazine? 00:03:25.671 --> 00:03:27.130 Why do I even– Well, in this case… - 00:03:27.213 --> 00:03:29.213 …it's 'cause my husband's on the cover with another woman. 00:03:29.296 --> 00:03:30.921 So it caught my eye. 00:03:31.005 --> 00:03:33.088 The story chronicles a night on the town with you and the… 00:03:33.171 --> 00:03:34.630 That's somebody's niece. 00:03:34.713 --> 00:03:36.588 What the hell do I care if it's somebody's niece? -From Westinghouse. 00:03:36.671 --> 00:03:38.505 That's the Westinghouse corporate– You were there. 00:03:38.588 --> 00:03:40.046 That's the guy's niece. 00:03:40.130 --> 00:03:43.421 That picture was taken last summer. 00:03:44.921 --> 00:03:46.130 You're right. 00:03:46.213 --> 00:03:48.838 This was taken at the Westinghouse corporate retreat. 00:03:48.921 --> 00:03:50.963 - Yes. - I apologize. 00:03:51.046 --> 00:03:54.005 Hmm. Say, “Desi, I apologize for doubting you…” -No. 00:03:54.088 --> 00:03:58.213 “…for I see now that this picture was taken not last Wednesday night 00:03:58.296 --> 00:04:01.088 “but six months ago at the Westinghouse corporate retreat, 00:04:01.171 --> 00:04:03.671 and I will never doubt your love for me again.” 00:04:03.755 --> 00:04:05.838 - Say that. - No, and you're doing it again. 00:04:05.921 --> 00:04:08.130 You're pronouncing it “Westing-gouse.” 00:04:08.213 --> 00:04:09.630 It is “Westing-gouse.” 00:04:09.713 --> 00:04:11.088 “Westinghouse.” 00:04:11.171 --> 00:04:14.088 Say, “G-H-O-S-T.” 00:04:14.171 --> 00:04:15.213 “Ghost.” 00:04:15.296 --> 00:04:17.213 You don't pronounce an “H” after a “G.” 00:04:17.296 --> 00:04:18.796 “Westing-gouse.” 00:04:19.963 --> 00:04:22.505 Everything in the magazine was made up? 00:04:22.588 --> 00:04:24.296 I haven't read the story in the magazine, 00:04:24.380 --> 00:04:26.546 but unless the story's about me playing cards on the boat… 00:04:26.630 --> 00:04:28.755 - It's not. - Then, yes, it's made up. 00:04:28.838 --> 00:04:30.463 Amor, get it through your head. 00:04:30.546 --> 00:04:33.838 You are the only thing I want. 00:04:33.921 --> 00:04:35.505 Well, then you're an idiot. 00:04:35.588 --> 00:04:37.296 Ah, come here. 00:04:37.380 --> 00:04:38.880 The House Committee on Un-American Activities is holding 00:04:38.963 --> 00:04:40.380 a secret session in California. 00:04:40.463 --> 00:04:42.546 The most popular of all television stars 00:04:42.630 --> 00:04:46.505 was confronted with her membership in the Communist Party. 00:04:47.588 --> 00:04:50.588 - Wait! - Wait. 00:04:50.671 --> 00:04:51.755 Wait. 00:04:54.088 --> 00:04:55.671 What did he say? 00:04:55.755 --> 00:04:58.880 He said, “The most popular of all television stars was…” 00:04:58.963 --> 00:05:02.171 “Was confronted with her membership in the Communist Party.” 00:05:02.255 --> 00:05:04.380 Yes. 00:05:04.463 --> 00:05:06.713 He could have been talking about Imogene Coca. 00:05:06.796 --> 00:05:08.130 Fuck you. 00:05:08.213 --> 00:05:10.630 He was not talking about Imogene Coca. 00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:17.750 position:20% Improved Subtitle by Sailor420 00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:17.750 position:80% !!! Hope you enjoy the show !!! 00:05:27.171 --> 00:05:28.880 This is nonsense. 00:05:28.963 --> 00:05:32.088 It's nonsense, and it will get worse before it gets better. 00:05:32.171 --> 00:05:35.963 Little Rusty Hamer, when he signed his contract– 00:05:36.046 --> 00:05:38.296 or the guardian, whoever signs the contract for him– 00:05:38.380 --> 00:05:40.838 he had to sign a loyalty pledge. 00:05:40.921 --> 00:05:42.005 Did anyone know that? 00:05:44.171 --> 00:05:45.505 Hmm? 00:05:45.588 --> 00:05:47.213 Bill? 00:05:49.213 --> 00:05:50.838 Bill? 00:05:52.296 --> 00:05:53.421 Is she talking to me? 00:05:53.505 --> 00:05:54.713 Yeah. 00:05:54.796 --> 00:05:56.005 'Cause she knows I'm here? She can see me? 00:05:56.088 --> 00:05:57.421 Yes. 00:05:57.505 --> 00:05:59.755 Did you know Little Rusty had to sign a loyalty pledge? 00:05:59.838 --> 00:06:01.338 I don't know who the fuck Little Rusty is. 00:06:01.421 --> 00:06:03.255 Rusty Hamer from The Danny Thomas Show. 00:06:03.338 --> 00:06:04.671 - That's not his name. - It is his name. 00:06:04.755 --> 00:06:06.463 - The littlest kid from Danny's show? - Yes. 00:06:06.546 --> 00:06:08.546 Rusty is the character's name, not the actor. 00:06:08.630 --> 00:06:11.588 They're both named Rusty. Rusty Williams is played by Rusty Hamer. 00:06:11.671 --> 00:06:12.755 And Hamer's a Communist? 00:06:12.838 --> 00:06:14.546 He's seven years old. 00:06:14.630 --> 00:06:16.796 - And he's interested in politics? - No, imbecile. 00:06:16.880 --> 00:06:20.255 I'm saying he's seven years old and they made him sign a loyalty pledge. 00:06:20.338 --> 00:06:21.671 Uh-huh? 00:06:21.755 --> 00:06:23.546 This is getting out of hand was my point. 00:06:23.630 --> 00:06:26.588 Why isn't Danny Thomas's kid named Rusty Thomas? 00:06:26.671 --> 00:06:27.921 Are you drunk? 00:06:28.005 --> 00:06:30.713 It's 10:00 a.m., Vivian, so, you know, of course. 00:06:30.796 --> 00:06:32.421 Bob and Jess and I were up all weekend 00:06:32.505 --> 00:06:33.921 working on the script you're about to read, 00:06:34.005 --> 00:06:38.046 so on behalf of all of us, I want to say how much we appreciate your respect. 00:06:38.130 --> 00:06:40.505 Believe me, you do not want me to read this sober. 00:06:40.588 --> 00:06:42.463 I'm starting to get a little tired of your casual insults. 00:06:42.546 --> 00:06:45.213 Well, my insults don't feel like putting on a fucking tuxedo for you, kid. 00:06:45.296 --> 00:06:48.088 Jess, why don't you tell your supporting cast that we don't work for him either. 00:06:48.171 --> 00:06:49.838 You all work for me! 00:06:50.921 --> 00:06:54.296 Wh… What you all have to understand is this. 00:06:55.588 --> 00:06:57.463 Here's what you have to understand. 00:06:58.546 --> 00:06:59.630 We're all tense. 00:07:07.213 --> 00:07:09.171 Seriously? That was it? 00:07:09.255 --> 00:07:12.088 We're all tense. And the cure for that is just do the show. 00:07:12.171 --> 00:07:14.130 Normal production week. 00:07:14.213 --> 00:07:15.421 We're gonna need someone to play Lucy and Ricky. 00:07:15.505 --> 00:07:16.505 Those are critical roles. 00:07:16.588 --> 00:07:18.796 The two of them are in Desi's office 00:07:18.880 --> 00:07:20.588 meeting with the network and the sponsor right now. 00:07:20.671 --> 00:07:22.130 I'm sure there's an explanation. This will all be over by show night. 00:07:22.213 --> 00:07:23.963 One way or the other. 00:07:24.046 --> 00:07:25.213 Yeah. No. 00:07:25.296 --> 00:07:26.630 Let me be clear. 00:07:26.713 --> 00:07:28.463 I said, “This will all be over by show night.” 00:07:28.546 --> 00:07:30.255 Bill said, “One way or the other.” That's gallows humor. 00:07:30.338 --> 00:07:31.421 I said, “Yeah,” but I did not… 00:07:31.505 --> 00:07:34.046 - The sooner you stop talking… - Yeah. 00:07:34.130 --> 00:07:37.713 I think everyone's acquainted, but let's go around. Joe. 00:07:37.796 --> 00:07:38.838 Uh, Joe Strickland, CBS. 00:07:38.921 --> 00:07:40.463 Howard Wenke, also CBS. 00:07:40.546 --> 00:07:42.588 Roger Otter, Philip Morris. 00:07:42.671 --> 00:07:45.130 Irwin Gotlieb, attorney for Desilu. 00:07:45.213 --> 00:07:47.796 Sam Stein, attorney for Lucille Ball. 00:07:47.880 --> 00:07:50.338 Tip Tribby, VP of Public Relations for Philip Morris. 00:07:50.421 --> 00:07:53.963 Tip, if Winchell had it cold, he'd have used her name, 00:07:54.046 --> 00:07:56.630 it would have been at the top of the show, not the bottom, 00:07:56.713 --> 00:08:00.005 and this morning, we'd be reading about it on the front page of every paper. 00:08:00.088 --> 00:08:01.546 - Am I right? - Yes. 00:08:01.630 --> 00:08:02.880 They don't have it. 00:08:02.963 --> 00:08:05.546 Can you see where CBS might be concerned that there's an it to have? 00:08:05.630 --> 00:08:07.921 - Do you see that? - Uh, couldn't follow you. 00:08:08.005 --> 00:08:10.713 Lucy, you need to tell me right here and now what the hell is going on. 00:08:10.796 --> 00:08:12.380 You don't want to talk to my wife like that, amigo. 00:08:12.463 --> 00:08:13.755 Or what, Des, you're gonna beat me up? 00:08:13.838 --> 00:08:14.921 Oh, she will. 00:08:15.005 --> 00:08:17.171 So we're done with introductions? 00:08:17.255 --> 00:08:19.338 I'm not a Communist, I've never been a Communist, 00:08:19.421 --> 00:08:21.130 but technically, yeah, I am. 00:08:21.213 --> 00:08:22.671 Jesus Christ. 00:08:22.755 --> 00:08:23.921 Do you get what's happening here? 00:08:24.005 --> 00:08:25.421 Do you know that this is not funny? 00:08:25.505 --> 00:08:28.046 Yes, I do get what's happening, and, yes, I know it's not funny. 00:08:28.130 --> 00:08:30.255 - Lucy… - My father died when I was very young. 00:08:30.338 --> 00:08:33.088 I was raised by my mother and my grandfather, a man named Fred C. Hunt. 00:08:33.171 --> 00:08:35.296 I'd like everyone but Howard to leave the room. 00:08:35.380 --> 00:08:37.255 Philip Morris pays for the show. 00:08:37.338 --> 00:08:40.838 And they get their money's worth, so give us a minute, would you? 00:08:40.921 --> 00:08:43.630 She's smoking a Chesterfield. 00:08:43.713 --> 00:08:46.130 Could she at least smoke one of the seven brands Philip Morris offers? 00:08:46.213 --> 00:08:48.213 Got it. Got it. 00:08:48.296 --> 00:08:50.838 Thank you. 00:08:54.671 --> 00:08:57.755 Fred C. Hunt, my grandfather, was a member of the party. 00:08:57.838 --> 00:09:00.213 This was in the early '30s. I was in my early 20s. 00:09:00.296 --> 00:09:02.713 He never used the word “Communist.” 00:09:02.796 --> 00:09:04.505 But he cared about workers, the working man. 00:09:04.588 --> 00:09:09.088 He raised my little brother and me, and I wanted to please him. 00:09:09.171 --> 00:09:11.546 So I checked the box. 00:09:11.630 --> 00:09:14.088 Back then, it wasn't considered much worse than being a Republican. 00:09:14.171 --> 00:09:15.171 Hmm. 00:09:15.255 --> 00:09:16.838 - Have you been to a meeting? - No. 00:09:16.921 --> 00:09:17.921 - Never? - No. 00:09:18.005 --> 00:09:20.921 - You were at a cocktail party, later you found out that people… -No. 00:09:21.005 --> 00:09:22.921 Have you ever subscribed to a publication… 00:09:23.005 --> 00:09:26.505 My entire relationship with Communism is, 20 years ago, I checked a box. 00:09:26.588 --> 00:09:28.463 Why is this coming out now? 00:09:28.546 --> 00:09:31.338 The committee investigated her and cleared her. 00:09:31.421 --> 00:09:34.838 But then last week, uh, William Wheeler convened a special session out here, 00:09:34.921 --> 00:09:38.755 a private session, called her in again, and that's why we're sitting here. 00:09:47.255 --> 00:09:48.296 And nobody's picked it up? 00:09:48.380 --> 00:09:50.130 Nobody's picked up the story. 00:09:50.213 --> 00:09:52.630 Not a single paper, not a single news network, including your own. 00:09:55.088 --> 00:09:56.588 Maybe. 00:09:56.671 --> 00:09:58.046 Maybe we're out of this. 00:09:58.130 --> 00:09:59.338 We just don't know yet. 00:10:00.421 --> 00:10:01.630 When will we? 00:10:02.713 --> 00:10:06.005 If you tape a show Friday night, means you still have a show. 00:10:10.505 --> 00:10:11.880 Okay. 00:10:20.296 --> 00:10:22.588 You and me, 00:10:22.671 --> 00:10:24.796 we've been through worse than this. 00:10:24.880 --> 00:10:26.630 We have? 00:10:26.713 --> 00:10:27.921 No. 00:10:29.463 --> 00:10:31.796 That's what I thought. 00:10:33.338 --> 00:10:36.588 Hey. The whole piece was invented out of thin air? 00:10:36.671 --> 00:10:40.338 - Huh? - Four pages, 1,500 words? 00:10:40.421 --> 00:10:42.005 Are you being funny right now? 00:10:42.088 --> 00:10:44.505 That is the second time someone's asked me that this morning. 00:10:44.588 --> 00:10:46.713 I'm Lucille Ball. When I'm being funny, you'll know it. 00:10:46.796 --> 00:10:49.338 They invented the whole thing? 00:10:49.421 --> 00:10:51.255 You don't think we got bigger fish to fry? 00:10:51.338 --> 00:10:54.046 - They invented the whole thing? - Yes, they invented the whole thing. 00:10:54.130 --> 00:10:55.380 I was on the boat playing cards. 00:10:55.463 --> 00:10:57.880 They invented the whole thing, and I'm angry at them. 00:10:57.963 --> 00:10:59.546 And I'll do something about it, but right now… 00:10:59.630 --> 00:11:00.630 - Got it. - Hmm. 00:11:00.713 --> 00:11:01.963 Priorities. 00:11:02.046 --> 00:11:03.046 You're right. 00:11:03.130 --> 00:11:05.213 Say that again. “Desi, you're right.” 00:11:05.296 --> 00:11:06.880 No. 00:11:08.505 --> 00:11:11.338 Everything's gonna be fine. 00:11:11.421 --> 00:11:13.505 Nothing's gonna happen to you. I won't allow it. 00:11:13.588 --> 00:11:16.296 I just won't. 00:11:16.380 --> 00:11:17.588 Hmm? 00:11:30.255 --> 00:11:32.005 - You've never done that before. - I know. 00:11:32.088 --> 00:11:34.296 I've seen other people do it in movies I've been in. 00:11:38.921 --> 00:11:41.588 For the love of God, old man, this isn't hard. 00:11:41.671 --> 00:11:44.630 Rusty Hamer plays Rusty Williams on The Danny Thomas Show. 00:11:44.713 --> 00:11:47.505 He's in second grade, and they made him sign a loyalty oath 00:11:47.588 --> 00:11:49.880 when he signed his contract, which I think is ugly. 00:11:49.963 --> 00:11:52.713 I don't know why this is tripping you up. It wasn't confusing. 00:11:52.796 --> 00:11:54.796 There's no such thing as The Danny Thomas Show. 00:11:54.880 --> 00:11:57.588 It's called Make Room for Daddy. Don't tell me comedy. 00:11:57.671 --> 00:11:59.671 And if Little Rusty is a Communist, 00:11:59.755 --> 00:12:01.880 then I'm gonna beat the shit out of a seven-year-old kid. 00:12:01.963 --> 00:12:03.713 - I have no problem with that. - I'm done. 00:12:03.796 --> 00:12:05.296 That, right there, 00:12:05.380 --> 00:12:07.755 was funnier than anything you've written so far this year. 00:12:09.130 --> 00:12:10.213 That's not… 00:12:10.296 --> 00:12:12.796 - I've written plenty of funny… - No. 00:12:16.130 --> 00:12:18.130 ♫ ♫ 00:12:22.421 --> 00:12:23.546 Good morning! 00:12:25.630 --> 00:12:29.130 Mm. Don Glass is directing this week? 00:12:29.213 --> 00:12:31.088 We'll be fine. 00:12:31.171 --> 00:12:32.338 You're wondering what's going on. 00:12:32.421 --> 00:12:35.421 No matter what's going on, we all support you a thousand percent. 00:12:35.505 --> 00:12:38.005 I'd like to find out what's going on before I make that commitment. 00:12:38.088 --> 00:12:42.213 A long time ago, Lucy accidentally checked the wrong box on her voter registration. 00:12:42.296 --> 00:12:44.505 That's the first act of a new episode right there. 00:12:44.588 --> 00:12:46.921 - Yeah, “Lucy Gets Blacklisted.” - That's not a joke, Bob. 00:12:47.005 --> 00:12:49.005 You made the joke. I just put the button… 00:12:49.088 --> 00:12:50.921 Last week, she testified in a closed session. 00:12:51.005 --> 00:12:52.755 - She was cleared. - Okay. 00:12:52.838 --> 00:12:54.046 Yeah? She was cleared. 00:12:54.130 --> 00:12:56.713 So I don't know where Winchell got his information, but it was wrong. 00:12:56.796 --> 00:12:59.088 As you can see, it was not picked up by any newspaper. 00:12:59.171 --> 00:13:00.421 So let's do our show. 00:13:00.505 --> 00:13:02.338 Jess, it's your stage. 00:13:03.671 --> 00:13:05.213 I Love Lucy , episode 204. 00:13:05.296 --> 00:13:07.463 Season two, episode four. 00:13:07.546 --> 00:13:09.213 “Ethel and Fred Fight.” 00:13:09.296 --> 00:13:11.921 Teleplay by Bob Carroll, Madelyn Pugh and myself. 00:13:12.005 --> 00:13:13.505 Took three of you to write this one? 00:13:13.588 --> 00:13:16.505 Okay, come on. And directing this week, Donald Glass is back with us. 00:13:16.588 --> 00:13:18.880 - Let's give him a hand. - - Hey, thanks. It's good to be back. 00:13:22.296 --> 00:13:25.296 Act one, “Interior, the Ricardo's living room, night.” 00:13:25.380 --> 00:13:27.213 Excuse me. Donald. 00:13:27.296 --> 00:13:29.171 - Y-Yes? - Good morning. I'm Lucille Ball. 00:13:29.255 --> 00:13:30.880 I sure know that, Lucy. 00:13:30.963 --> 00:13:33.213 I wanted to make sure because you haven't been here in a while. 00:13:33.296 --> 00:13:34.921 Is it because you've been going through puberty? 00:13:35.005 --> 00:13:38.255 I look young, yes, but I went through it a long time ago, 00:13:38.338 --> 00:13:41.088 and I haven't been here because I've been directing at Danny Thomas. 00:13:41.171 --> 00:13:42.838 With the Communist kid? 00:13:42.921 --> 00:13:44.088 - Fuck off. - Jesus Christ. 00:13:44.171 --> 00:13:45.546 You don't have to fuck off, 00:13:45.630 --> 00:13:49.171 but you do need to know that Danny does jokes– few people do it better. 00:13:49.255 --> 00:13:50.963 I do physical comedy. 00:13:51.046 --> 00:13:54.546 - I've seen every episode of the show. - So have 60 million other people. 00:13:54.630 --> 00:13:56.671 Are none of them professional television directors? 00:13:56.755 --> 00:13:57.671 She's kidding. 00:13:57.755 --> 00:13:58.838 - I can tell. - Ah. 00:13:58.921 --> 00:14:01.046 I'm hazing you a little, Donald. 00:14:01.130 --> 00:14:03.546 It's just my way of saying I have no confidence in you at all. 00:14:03.630 --> 00:14:05.838 All right, all right, all right. 00:14:05.921 --> 00:14:08.588 We haven't gotten off to a great start this morning, I think. 00:14:08.671 --> 00:14:10.796 And I have no idea what the fuck you were talking about, Bill. 00:14:10.880 --> 00:14:12.880 Ah, Des, I'm begging you, don't ask. 00:14:12.963 --> 00:14:14.088 All right, no problem. 00:14:14.171 --> 00:14:17.338 I just wanted to say that this show is made by Desilu Productions, 00:14:17.421 --> 00:14:19.963 whose president is speaking to you right now. 00:14:20.046 --> 00:14:24.213 And for the next 30 minutes, I don't want to hear a word that is not in this script. 00:14:24.296 --> 00:14:25.713 - It's your stage. - Thank you. 00:14:26.796 --> 00:14:29.630 “Lucy's putting the finishing touches on a fancy dinner table– 00:14:29.713 --> 00:14:31.463 good china, silver, et cetera.” 00:14:31.546 --> 00:14:34.088 Uh, the table is set for four but there are only three chairs. 00:14:34.171 --> 00:14:36.128 I-I should've put that in the, in the stage direction. 00:14:36.152 --> 00:14:36.796 Okay. 00:14:36.880 --> 00:14:38.630 Well, technically, it's two chairs and a piano bench. 00:14:38.713 --> 00:14:39.880 For a total of? 00:14:39.963 --> 00:14:41.296 Three chairs. 00:14:41.380 --> 00:14:43.338 “Lucy's putting the finishing touches on a fancy dinner table– 00:14:43.421 --> 00:14:44.880 good china, silver, et cetera.” 00:14:44.963 --> 00:14:47.796 Table's set for four but there's only three chairs. 00:14:47.880 --> 00:14:48.963 “After a moment, 00:14:49.046 --> 00:14:50.380 “the door opens and Ricky enters. 00:14:50.463 --> 00:14:52.755 “Lucy doesn't hear him. 00:14:52.838 --> 00:14:53.796 “Ricky tiptoes in back of her. 00:14:53.880 --> 00:14:55.796 - Ricky puts his…” - Why not? 00:14:56.755 --> 00:14:57.755 Sorry? 00:14:59.088 --> 00:15:00.380 Why doesn't Lucy hear him? 00:15:00.463 --> 00:15:01.713 Well, he's about to do that thing where you cover someone's eyes 00:15:01.796 --> 00:15:02.796 and you say, “Guess who.” 00:15:02.880 --> 00:15:04.088 I understand it's a setup. 00:15:04.171 --> 00:15:05.171 I understand 00:15:05.255 --> 00:15:06.880 why we need Lucy to not hear him. 00:15:06.963 --> 00:15:11.005 I just don't understand why, in an apartment this size, Lucy doesn't hear– 00:15:11.088 --> 00:15:15.463 or, for that matter, see– the front door open when she's standing 12 feet from it. 00:15:18.546 --> 00:15:19.796 We'll work on that. 00:15:19.880 --> 00:15:20.921 Thanks. 00:15:21.005 --> 00:15:22.838 “Ricky tiptoes in back of her and reaches around 00:15:22.921 --> 00:15:24.671 and covers her eyes with his hands.” 00:15:24.755 --> 00:15:25.755 Guess who it is. 00:15:25.838 --> 00:15:27.630 Bill? Pat? 00:15:27.713 --> 00:15:29.630 - Sam? - No. 00:15:29.713 --> 00:15:31.463 - Ralph? - “Ricky reacts to this.” 00:15:31.546 --> 00:15:32.963 No, it's me. 00:15:33.046 --> 00:15:35.755 Oh, yes, of course. 00:15:35.838 --> 00:15:37.171 Oh, hang on. 00:15:37.255 --> 00:15:40.296 Are we supposed to believe that Ricky believes that Lucy 00:15:40.380 --> 00:15:42.171 - really doesn't know it's him? - Want to do this now? 00:15:42.255 --> 00:15:45.546 That Ricky believes that Lucy is not only unfamiliar with his voice– 00:15:45.630 --> 00:15:48.130 which, let's not forget, has a Cuban accent– 00:15:48.213 --> 00:15:50.671 but that he really believes there are at least seven other men 00:15:50.755 --> 00:15:53.005 who routinely walk into their apartment? 00:15:53.088 --> 00:15:55.005 She has a pretty good point. 00:15:55.088 --> 00:15:58.046 - She has four or five pretty good points. - All right. 00:15:58.130 --> 00:16:00.130 W-We'll write a better joke or Ricky will know that Lucy's joking. 00:16:00.213 --> 00:16:01.546 - Ah. - We can change the names. 00:16:01.630 --> 00:16:04.213 - Pedro, Pablo, Jose. - What? 00:16:04.296 --> 00:16:05.380 Because they're Spanish names. 00:16:05.463 --> 00:16:07.171 I mean Latin names. 00:16:07.255 --> 00:16:08.671 They're Cuban names. 00:16:08.755 --> 00:16:10.421 Thanks for clearing that up, professor. 00:16:10.505 --> 00:16:12.380 - I'm just, you know… - Okay, “Ricky takes his hands away 00:16:12.463 --> 00:16:13.630 and turns her around.” 00:16:13.713 --> 00:16:15.921 - No, it's me. - Oh, yes, of course. 00:16:16.005 --> 00:16:17.838 - Uh, uh… - “She snaps her fingers 00:16:17.921 --> 00:16:20.046 and pretends she can't remember his name.” - 00:16:20.130 --> 00:16:22.088 - Very funny. - “Ricky kisses her 00:16:22.171 --> 00:16:23.296 and then notices the table setup.” 00:16:23.380 --> 00:16:24.588 Hey, company for dinner? 00:16:24.671 --> 00:16:25.963 - Uh-huh. - Who is it? 00:16:26.046 --> 00:16:27.588 “Lucy elaborately ignores him.” 00:16:27.671 --> 00:16:30.171 How do you like the new water glasses, Ricky? 00:16:30.255 --> 00:16:31.380 Who's coming for dinner, Lucy? 00:16:31.463 --> 00:16:33.880 Doesn't the table look beautiful tonight? 00:16:33.963 --> 00:16:35.088 Lucy, who is it? 00:16:35.171 --> 00:16:36.713 Some people. 00:16:38.046 --> 00:16:39.546 Lucy… 00:16:40.963 --> 00:16:44.338 Whom is coming here for dinner tonight? 00:16:44.421 --> 00:16:47.088 Whom? You mean besides “meem” and “youm”? 00:16:49.088 --> 00:16:50.713 Never mind that. What are their names? 00:16:50.796 --> 00:16:53.755 - Fred and Ethel Mertz. - Wait a minute. 00:16:53.838 --> 00:16:56.755 I thought you said Fred and Ethel had a big fight and they were mad at each other. 00:16:56.838 --> 00:16:57.921 They are. 00:16:58.005 --> 00:16:59.713 I thought you said they weren't speaking to each other. 00:16:59.796 --> 00:17:01.255 They aren't. 00:17:01.338 --> 00:17:03.630 - And that he was staying at the Y. - He is. 00:17:03.713 --> 00:17:06.088 - And that she won't let him in the house. - She won't. 00:17:06.171 --> 00:17:11.046 Well, if they are and they aren't and he is and she won't, how come? 00:17:11.130 --> 00:17:12.713 Well… 00:17:12.796 --> 00:17:15.546 Lucy Esmeralda McGillicuddy Ricardo. 00:17:15.630 --> 00:17:16.880 Oh… 00:17:16.963 --> 00:17:19.463 That's nice, but is the rhythm getting old too early? 00:17:19.546 --> 00:17:20.755 We'll work on that. 00:17:20.838 --> 00:17:23.630 'Cause we want to live up to the quality of the writing you were used to at RKO. 00:17:27.588 --> 00:17:29.463 - That was gutsy. - That was… 00:17:29.546 --> 00:17:33.963 It was a joke about the writing at RKO and not… 00:17:34.046 --> 00:17:35.713 Yeah? 00:17:35.796 --> 00:17:37.755 Obviously not an insult aimed at Lucy. 00:17:37.838 --> 00:17:39.713 ♫ ♫ 00:17:39.796 --> 00:17:42.796 Looking back, it may have been an insult aimed at Lucy. 00:17:42.880 --> 00:17:44.755 Which was very unusual. 00:17:44.838 --> 00:17:46.130 Lucy and I were close. 00:17:48.005 --> 00:17:49.713 Okay, let's take it from… 00:17:49.796 --> 00:17:51.463 Look, she was always tough on the writing, 00:17:51.546 --> 00:17:53.338 she pressed down hard on each beat, 00:17:53.421 --> 00:17:55.796 but that week… 00:17:55.880 --> 00:18:00.088 it was like her life depended on whether a joke was a “B” or “B”-plus. 00:18:00.171 --> 00:18:01.880 “She tries to make her way past him on her way to the kitchen, 00:18:01.963 --> 00:18:04.130 but he holds out his hand and blocks the way.” 00:18:04.213 --> 00:18:05.463 There was a Broadway show 00:18:05.546 --> 00:18:07.630 called Too Many Girls. 00:18:07.713 --> 00:18:08.838 It was terrible. 00:18:08.921 --> 00:18:11.796 One of the stars of Too Many Girls was Desi. 00:18:11.880 --> 00:18:14.046 Too Many Girls. 00:18:14.130 --> 00:18:18.630 RKO decided to make a very bad Broadway show into– 00:18:18.713 --> 00:18:22.046 and I still can't believe it– an even worse movie. 00:18:22.130 --> 00:18:25.546 They kept Desi in the cast, but the second female lead was replaced 00:18:25.630 --> 00:18:28.338 by the queen of the “B” movies, Lucille Ball. 00:18:28.421 --> 00:18:30.171 A couple of days before shooting started, 00:18:30.255 --> 00:18:34.796 Desi was on a soundstage working with a piano and a drum and Ann Miller. 00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:37.171 Here's what you have to understand. 00:18:37.255 --> 00:18:42.046 A more handsome, charming man than Desi you've never met. 00:18:42.130 --> 00:18:45.713 Standing off, away from the pack of chorus girls, is Lucy, 00:18:45.796 --> 00:18:49.213 who was unrecognizable because she was still in the middle of shooting 00:18:49.296 --> 00:18:51.796 Dance, Girl, Dance, playing a burlesque girl 00:18:51.880 --> 00:18:53.546 who'd just been beaten up by her pimp. 00:18:53.630 --> 00:18:56.338 So she was… unrecognizable. 00:18:56.421 --> 00:18:58.088 That's how they met. 00:18:58.171 --> 00:19:00.755 ♫ She could shake the maracas ♫ 00:19:02.463 --> 00:19:05.046 ♫ He could play the guitar ♫ 00:19:05.130 --> 00:19:06.880 ♫ But he lived in Havana ♫ 00:19:06.963 --> 00:19:09.755 ♫ And she down in Rio del Mar ♫ 00:19:11.838 --> 00:19:15.171 ♫ And she shook the maracas ♫ 00:19:15.255 --> 00:19:18.755 ♫ In a Portuguese bar ♫ 00:19:18.838 --> 00:19:20.630 ♫ While he strummed in Havana ♫ 00:19:20.713 --> 00:19:23.421 ♫ The distance between them was far ♫ 00:19:25.505 --> 00:19:28.296 ♫ But by and by ♫ 00:19:29.546 --> 00:19:32.546 ♫ He got a job with a band in Harlem ♫ 00:19:32.630 --> 00:19:36.546 ♫ She got a job with a band in Harlem ♫ 00:19:36.630 --> 00:19:39.588 ♫ Ay, ay, ay ♫ 00:19:45.505 --> 00:19:48.421 ♫ He said, “I'm the attraction” ♫ 00:19:48.505 --> 00:19:52.213 ♫ She said, “I am the star” ♫ 00:19:52.296 --> 00:19:54.213 ♫ But they finally married ♫ 00:19:54.296 --> 00:19:58.338 ♫ And now see how happy they are ♫ 00:19:58.421 --> 00:20:01.588 ♫ So shake your maracas ♫ 00:20:01.671 --> 00:20:04.755 ♫ And play your guitar. ♫ 00:20:06.671 --> 00:20:07.880 Thank you. 00:20:07.963 --> 00:20:09.421 - Mr. Arnaz? - Yes. 00:20:09.505 --> 00:20:13.380 I'm Desiderio Alberto Arnaz y de Acha III, but just my mother calls me that. 00:20:13.463 --> 00:20:14.838 - Desi. Desi. - I'm Angie. 00:20:14.921 --> 00:20:17.088 I'm in the chorus and I wanted to say I'm looking forward to working with you. 00:20:17.171 --> 00:20:18.963 I'm looking forward, too, Angie. 00:20:19.046 --> 00:20:20.755 - Patty. - Patty. 00:20:20.838 --> 00:20:22.755 - Uh, short for Patricia? - Yes. 00:20:22.838 --> 00:20:25.588 - Also in the chorus? - Mm-hmm. Dancing chorus. 00:20:25.671 --> 00:20:28.421 - Oh. - “Do you remember the first time we met? 00:20:31.088 --> 00:20:34.838 You were rudely attentive, but now you're obnoxiously indifferent.” 00:20:34.921 --> 00:20:36.630 What? 00:20:36.713 --> 00:20:39.630 It's a line from our movie, dumb-dumb. 00:20:39.713 --> 00:20:41.588 Do we know each other? 00:20:43.380 --> 00:20:45.796 No. 00:20:45.880 --> 00:20:47.255 Desi? 00:20:47.338 --> 00:20:49.463 I'm Daisy. 00:20:49.546 --> 00:20:52.671 ♫ A la nanita nana ♫ 00:20:52.755 --> 00:20:57.088 ♫ Nanita ella, nanita ella ♫ 00:20:57.171 --> 00:20:59.546 ♫ Mi niña tiene sueño ♫ 00:20:59.630 --> 00:21:03.421 ♫ Bendito sea, bendito sea ♫ 00:21:03.505 --> 00:21:10.213 ♫ Calla mientras la cuna se balancea ♫ 00:21:10.296 --> 00:21:17.755 ♫ A la nanita nana, nanita ella ♫ 00:21:18.755 --> 00:21:21.088 ♫ A la nanita nana ♫ 00:21:21.171 --> 00:21:25.171 ♫ Nanita ella, nanita ella ♫ 00:21:25.255 --> 00:21:27.713 ♫ Mi niña tiene sueño ♫ 00:21:27.796 --> 00:21:31.213 ♫ Bendito sea, bendito sea ♫ 00:21:32.296 --> 00:21:33.755 ♫ Mi… ♫ 00:21:34.838 --> 00:21:37.005 “Do you remember the first time we met?” 00:21:37.088 --> 00:21:40.338 If we'd met, I'd remember. 00:21:40.421 --> 00:21:42.255 “You were rudely attentive, but now you're obnoxiously…” 00:21:42.338 --> 00:21:44.046 Wait. 00:21:44.130 --> 00:21:46.463 - That was you? - ”…indifferent.” 00:21:46.546 --> 00:21:48.255 That was me, yeah. 00:21:48.338 --> 00:21:50.588 - This studio has talented makeup artists. - “I'm Angie. 00:21:50.671 --> 00:21:51.880 “I'm in the chorus. 00:21:51.963 --> 00:21:53.921 I just want to say, when I drink, I take off my clothes.” 00:21:54.005 --> 00:21:56.713 I'm so curious, I have to ask. 00:21:56.796 --> 00:21:59.213 How did you know Patty was short for Patricia? 00:21:59.296 --> 00:22:01.255 - My name is Desiderio Alberto Arnaz… - Ah. 00:22:01.338 --> 00:22:03.213 I don't have that kind of time. 00:22:05.130 --> 00:22:06.546 And you're Lucille Ball. 00:22:08.463 --> 00:22:10.671 Use a line on me you've never road-tested on anyone. 00:22:10.755 --> 00:22:11.755 I dare you. 00:22:16.213 --> 00:22:17.963 Would you like to learn how to rumba? 00:22:19.255 --> 00:22:21.671 All right. Nice. 00:22:21.755 --> 00:22:23.296 And, yes, I would. 00:22:23.380 --> 00:22:26.380 - Ah. -But there's absolutely no chance you haven't used that before. 00:22:49.963 --> 00:22:51.255 Mm-hmm. 00:22:54.838 --> 00:22:57.046 I want you to know I'm not trying to be forward. 00:22:57.130 --> 00:22:59.046 I'm showing you this because it'll come in handy 00:22:59.130 --> 00:23:01.505 for your rumba number in the movie. 00:23:01.588 --> 00:23:04.005 I don't have a rumba number in the movie. 00:23:04.088 --> 00:23:06.046 - No rumba? - No. 00:23:06.130 --> 00:23:09.713 Oh, that's a sign of a poorly written screenplay. 00:23:11.380 --> 00:23:13.588 Well, we should dance to something else. 00:23:13.671 --> 00:23:15.505 Sure. 00:23:22.796 --> 00:23:25.005 Why did you come to Hollywood? 00:23:27.463 --> 00:23:29.421 I got kicked out of New York. 00:23:29.505 --> 00:23:32.338 - Seriously. - I mean it. 00:23:32.421 --> 00:23:35.630 I got kicked out of acting school for not being good enough. 00:23:36.713 --> 00:23:39.338 - Get out of here. - I will not. 00:23:41.338 --> 00:23:46.796 I got some modeling work, I was hired and fired as a Ziegfeld Girl 00:23:46.880 --> 00:23:50.546 but hired as a Goldwyn Girl, and that's what took me out here. 00:23:50.630 --> 00:23:52.046 Hmm. 00:23:52.130 --> 00:23:53.796 Why did you come to Hollywood? 00:23:53.880 --> 00:23:56.088 The Bolsheviks burned my house down. 00:23:58.713 --> 00:24:01.505 - So a different reason. - Mm, yeah. 00:24:03.088 --> 00:24:05.088 ♫ Lucille ♫ 00:24:06.505 --> 00:24:10.713 ♫ There's not much that rhymes with “Lucille” ♫ 00:24:10.796 --> 00:24:12.338 ♫ Mm… ♫ 00:24:12.421 --> 00:24:14.880 ♫ Bastille ♫ 00:24:14.963 --> 00:24:18.963 ♫ But who'd write a song about that? ♫ 00:24:26.088 --> 00:24:28.296 I borrowed part of your tuxedo. 00:24:37.463 --> 00:24:40.755 It comes with pants, but, uh, I'm wearing them. 00:24:40.838 --> 00:24:42.671 Not for long, pal. 00:24:45.838 --> 00:24:47.421 So… 00:24:47.505 --> 00:24:48.880 Yes? 00:24:48.963 --> 00:24:50.421 Can I call you Lucy? 00:24:50.505 --> 00:24:52.921 I think we should keep this professional, don't you? 00:24:54.296 --> 00:24:55.963 - I was kidding. - So was I. 00:24:56.046 --> 00:24:58.546 Mm. Nice dry delivery. 00:24:58.630 --> 00:25:02.088 Uh, what's your, mm… 00:25:02.171 --> 00:25:03.171 ambition? 00:25:03.255 --> 00:25:05.213 My ambition? For tonight? 00:25:05.296 --> 00:25:06.838 I wasn't making myself clear? 00:25:06.921 --> 00:25:09.088 No, I don't mean ambition. 00:25:09.171 --> 00:25:10.546 Ay, what do I mean? 00:25:10.630 --> 00:25:12.380 Uh… 00:25:12.463 --> 00:25:14.255 - Goals? - No. 00:25:14.338 --> 00:25:16.255 Mm… future. 00:25:16.338 --> 00:25:18.505 - Dreams. - What are my future dreams? 00:25:18.588 --> 00:25:20.296 I should've stuck with ambition. 00:25:20.380 --> 00:25:21.588 Are you interviewing me? 00:25:21.671 --> 00:25:22.880 Yes. 00:25:22.963 --> 00:25:24.588 Okay. 00:25:24.671 --> 00:25:26.046 I live in a small house. 00:25:26.130 --> 00:25:27.630 And your ambition is to live in a bigger house. 00:25:27.713 --> 00:25:29.296 My ambition is to live in a home. 00:25:29.380 --> 00:25:31.380 Like for old folks? 00:25:31.463 --> 00:25:34.463 Not a home, not an institution. 00:25:34.546 --> 00:25:36.296 - A home. - Ah. 00:25:36.380 --> 00:25:38.630 With a family and dinnertime. 00:25:38.713 --> 00:25:41.213 Can I ask an impertinent question? 00:25:41.296 --> 00:25:43.755 You gonna ask me why I'm not married? 00:25:43.838 --> 00:25:46.171 No, I was going to ask you why you're not a movie star. 00:25:46.255 --> 00:25:50.588 Why are you playing the second female lead in Too Many Girls? 00:25:50.671 --> 00:25:52.380 I'm a contract player at RKO. 00:25:52.463 --> 00:25:54.338 I play the roles I'm told to play. 00:25:54.421 --> 00:25:56.255 My career's gone as far as it's gonna go. 00:25:56.338 --> 00:25:58.505 It's hit cruising altitude. 00:25:58.588 --> 00:26:00.171 I'm at peace with that. 00:26:00.255 --> 00:26:02.921 So I'd like to be at peace. 00:26:04.088 --> 00:26:05.255 I want a home. 00:26:05.338 --> 00:26:09.171 You have a lot more talent than the roles you play have allowed you to exhibit. 00:26:09.255 --> 00:26:11.005 Now, how would you know I have talent? 00:26:11.088 --> 00:26:12.963 Because I have talent. 00:26:13.046 --> 00:26:16.171 You could be a serious actor. You should be a star by now. 00:26:17.380 --> 00:26:19.421 - But… - But what? 00:26:19.505 --> 00:26:22.005 There is also something about your physicality. You are, you are… 00:26:22.088 --> 00:26:23.213 Half naked? 00:26:23.296 --> 00:26:25.755 Uh, sure. 00:26:25.838 --> 00:26:28.380 - But… - But? 00:26:28.463 --> 00:26:32.130 You, uh… There isn't an English word. 00:26:32.213 --> 00:26:35.880 Tú estás… dotada cineticamente. 00:26:35.963 --> 00:26:37.046 What does that mean? 00:26:37.130 --> 00:26:40.921 It means you're kinetically gifted. 00:26:42.421 --> 00:26:43.921 No one's noticed that? 00:26:44.005 --> 00:26:46.213 ♫ ♫ 00:27:07.005 --> 00:27:09.005 ♫ ♫ 00:27:19.338 --> 00:27:21.088 Hi. Sorry. 00:27:21.171 --> 00:27:23.255 I need to use the phone to call my fiancé. 00:27:23.338 --> 00:27:24.546 Sure. 00:27:25.921 --> 00:27:27.296 Wait, what? 00:27:27.380 --> 00:27:29.046 It'll just take a second. 00:27:29.130 --> 00:27:31.671 Your fiancé? 00:27:31.755 --> 00:27:33.255 Outside line please. 00:27:33.338 --> 00:27:35.963 I mean, not that I haven't… 00:27:36.046 --> 00:27:39.171 It's just that I got the sense that we… 00:27:39.255 --> 00:27:40.505 - One sec. - Yeah. 00:27:41.796 --> 00:27:44.005 Last night, I felt it was… 00:27:44.088 --> 00:27:46.421 It's me. Hey. 00:27:46.505 --> 00:27:48.046 You don't love me, and I don't love you, 00:27:48.130 --> 00:27:49.546 and you cheat on me every chance you can get, 00:27:49.630 --> 00:27:52.630 and I pretend I'm stupid, so I'm moving out. 00:27:52.713 --> 00:27:55.880 I'll send someone to pick up my clothes, okay? 00:27:55.963 --> 00:27:58.796 Love you. But, you know, not really. 00:28:00.171 --> 00:28:03.255 I interrupted you. What were you saying? 00:28:05.380 --> 00:28:07.380 And we fade to black. End of show. 00:28:08.671 --> 00:28:09.671 Thank you. 00:28:09.755 --> 00:28:11.046 Notes upstairs. 00:28:11.130 --> 00:28:14.213 Back onstage in an hour. - 00:28:14.296 --> 00:28:15.338 - All right. - All right. 00:28:15.421 --> 00:28:16.546 - We'll see ya. - Yeah. 00:28:16.630 --> 00:28:18.338 - Okay, honey. See you in a bit. - Mm-hmm. 00:28:42.671 --> 00:28:43.671 It's madness. 00:28:43.755 --> 00:28:44.963 Yeah? 00:28:45.046 --> 00:28:47.505 I thought you'd be the first one to refuse to work with her. 00:28:47.588 --> 00:28:49.005 You mean that? 00:28:49.088 --> 00:28:51.130 Mm. 00:28:51.213 --> 00:28:52.755 You're not fond of Communists. 00:28:55.213 --> 00:28:57.255 I'm less fond of the committee. 00:28:57.338 --> 00:28:58.755 Ah. 00:29:03.505 --> 00:29:05.505 ♫ ♫ 00:29:07.588 --> 00:29:08.588 Des. 00:29:08.671 --> 00:29:10.838 Hmm? 00:29:10.921 --> 00:29:13.380 When the soldiers came 00:29:13.463 --> 00:29:15.088 for your family… 00:29:17.213 --> 00:29:18.671 …how scary was it? 00:29:22.713 --> 00:29:27.213 You're giving me that look that says, “I don't get scared of nothing.” 00:29:28.963 --> 00:29:30.963 Uh… 00:29:31.046 --> 00:29:33.338 They killed all the animals. 00:29:33.421 --> 00:29:34.838 Uh, not-not for food. 00:29:34.921 --> 00:29:37.755 They just killed all the animals. 00:29:38.796 --> 00:29:40.296 I still don't know why they did that. 00:29:40.380 --> 00:29:41.505 Uh… 00:29:46.505 --> 00:29:49.171 It's six to five and pick 'em 00:29:49.255 --> 00:29:52.546 we've already done the last episode of this show. 00:29:52.630 --> 00:29:55.171 This show, everyone who works here, 00:29:55.255 --> 00:29:58.338 Desilu, Lucy's whole career– mine, too– 00:29:58.421 --> 00:30:01.505 it may have ended last night and we just don't know it yet. 00:30:04.421 --> 00:30:06.296 Are you out of your mind? 00:30:06.380 --> 00:30:08.130 I get plenty scared. 00:30:18.255 --> 00:30:19.880 Fucking madness. 00:30:28.713 --> 00:30:30.713 ♫ ♫ 00:30:39.796 --> 00:30:40.921 Lucy? 00:30:41.005 --> 00:30:42.630 Come on in. 00:30:43.713 --> 00:30:46.838 Madelyn was way out of line, and I'll talk to Jess. 00:30:46.921 --> 00:30:49.296 - No, I don't care about that. - I care about it. 00:30:49.380 --> 00:30:51.755 You told them I checked the wrong box. 00:30:51.838 --> 00:30:53.046 Who? 00:30:53.130 --> 00:30:55.588 Before the table read. You told them I checked the wrong box. 00:30:55.671 --> 00:30:58.255 Ah. 00:30:58.338 --> 00:31:02.713 Uh, uh, well, it takes fewer words to say that than the truth. 00:31:02.796 --> 00:31:04.380 Doesn't make me look like a simpleton 00:31:04.463 --> 00:31:06.880 who's ill-equipped to participate in democracy? 00:31:06.963 --> 00:31:09.463 It was simpler, and it's nobody's goddamn business. 00:31:09.546 --> 00:31:11.505 Well, no. 00:31:11.588 --> 00:31:13.463 Pretty obviously it's everybody's goddamn business. 00:31:13.546 --> 00:31:15.963 Ay. 00:31:18.463 --> 00:31:20.630 You-you… you don't have to keep checking the papers. 00:31:20.713 --> 00:31:23.880 I've got people who'll let me know the moment an editor thinks about it. 00:31:23.963 --> 00:31:25.796 There's something wrong with the story, they know it, 00:31:25.880 --> 00:31:27.796 and that's why no one's reporting on Winchell. 00:31:27.880 --> 00:31:31.255 No. The Confidential story. 00:31:31.338 --> 00:31:33.046 That's what's getting picked up. 00:31:33.130 --> 00:31:35.296 ♫ ♫ 00:31:51.588 --> 00:31:53.546 I like this a lot, Tommy. 00:31:53.630 --> 00:31:55.796 - That's a great color for you. - Oh, I really like this. 00:31:55.880 --> 00:31:57.630 And I can cinch the back a little. 00:31:57.713 --> 00:31:59.838 - I can lower the neckline. - Oh, not on CBS you can't. 00:32:01.546 --> 00:32:03.088 But still, now we're talking. 00:32:03.171 --> 00:32:04.505 Now we're cooking with gas. 00:32:04.588 --> 00:32:07.588 - Should I bring out some shoes? - Oh, yes, please. 00:32:10.838 --> 00:32:11.921 Yeah? 00:32:12.005 --> 00:32:13.421 That's a nice dress. 00:32:13.505 --> 00:32:15.630 I thought so, too. 00:32:15.713 --> 00:32:18.046 You borrowing it from wardrobe for a cocktail party? 00:32:18.130 --> 00:32:19.505 Dinner party. 00:32:19.588 --> 00:32:20.588 Where? 00:32:20.671 --> 00:32:23.588 The apartment of Ricky and Lucy Ricardo. 00:32:23.671 --> 00:32:24.671 This is for the show? 00:32:24.755 --> 00:32:26.963 - Lucy's invited Ethel… - Oh, Viv. 00:32:27.046 --> 00:32:28.130 I know, but listen. 00:32:28.213 --> 00:32:29.838 I'm thinking Lucy's invited her to dinner. 00:32:29.921 --> 00:32:33.338 She thinks she's being fixed up with an eligible guy. 00:32:33.421 --> 00:32:34.755 She'd want to look nice. 00:32:36.921 --> 00:32:38.630 It's something new for the character. 00:32:38.713 --> 00:32:41.213 But the character's still Ethel Mertz, right? 00:32:41.296 --> 00:32:42.505 Yeah. 00:32:46.380 --> 00:32:47.296 Hey, don't. 00:32:47.380 --> 00:32:50.005 “Does Desi Love Lucy Loosely?” 00:32:50.088 --> 00:32:51.796 They took time on that. 00:32:51.880 --> 00:32:54.755 “If neighbors hear screams of rage followed by the sound of…” 00:32:54.838 --> 00:32:56.755 - Isn't there enough going on with… - ”…breaking crockery coming from 00:32:56.838 --> 00:32:58.963 - the Arnaz house this month…” - I'd be more concerned about… 00:32:59.046 --> 00:33:00.796 “…they'll know what is happening without having to investigate. 00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:02.463 “The red-haired missus has just finished reading 00:33:02.546 --> 00:33:03.880 - Confidential's report on…” - In your life, have you ever 00:33:03.963 --> 00:33:05.713 taken this stuff seriously? 00:33:05.796 --> 00:33:07.921 I take my marriage seriously. 00:33:08.005 --> 00:33:09.713 And Desi said? 00:33:09.796 --> 00:33:13.171 “Lucy, I ain't been with no girls since the moment I saw you.” 00:33:13.255 --> 00:33:15.130 - Then believe him. - I do believe him. 00:33:15.213 --> 00:33:16.546 It's an old picture. We were there together. 00:33:16.630 --> 00:33:18.380 He was playing cards on the boat Wednesday. 00:33:18.463 --> 00:33:20.463 You'd be more concerned about what? 00:33:20.546 --> 00:33:23.046 - What? -You said you'd “be more concerned about,” 00:33:23.130 --> 00:33:24.171 and I cut you off. 00:33:24.255 --> 00:33:25.296 The Winchell broadcast? 00:33:25.380 --> 00:33:26.963 Yeah. 00:33:27.046 --> 00:33:29.005 I don't get to choose just one. 00:33:29.088 --> 00:33:31.463 I'm concerned with both, the first thing, second thing. 00:33:31.546 --> 00:33:33.838 Understood. What about the third? 00:33:33.921 --> 00:33:35.296 What'd they say? 00:33:35.380 --> 00:33:38.713 We didn't think yesterday was the best day to tell them about the third thing. 00:33:38.796 --> 00:33:40.588 - Right. - We're doing it now. 00:33:40.671 --> 00:33:45.005 First Jess, then the network, then Philip Morris. 00:33:46.088 --> 00:33:47.963 Could be worse. 00:33:48.046 --> 00:33:49.213 How? 00:33:49.296 --> 00:33:51.088 You could be playing Ethel. 00:33:51.171 --> 00:33:52.671 Got it. 00:33:53.671 --> 00:33:55.671 ♫ ♫ 00:34:06.130 --> 00:34:08.296 Is Lucy on the phone too long at the top? 00:34:08.380 --> 00:34:11.796 We only hear one side of the call. Are we staying too long at the fair? 00:34:13.213 --> 00:34:15.963 You don't need to write down everything we say in here. 00:34:19.713 --> 00:34:21.255 We'll know when it's on its feet. 00:34:21.338 --> 00:34:22.671 Good morning. 00:34:22.755 --> 00:34:24.630 Morning, guys. 00:34:24.713 --> 00:34:25.796 Hey. 00:34:25.880 --> 00:34:28.046 Mary Pat, would you mind giving us the room for a moment please? 00:34:28.130 --> 00:34:30.755 - Of course, Mr. Arnaz. - Thank you. 00:34:36.463 --> 00:34:38.963 - “Of course, Mr. Arnaz.” - She's nice. 00:34:39.046 --> 00:34:40.171 You're in enough trouble. 00:34:40.255 --> 00:34:41.463 You're not in trouble. 00:34:41.546 --> 00:34:43.005 We need to talk. 00:34:43.088 --> 00:34:45.130 - No, don't tell me… - No, no, no, no. No, we're… 00:34:45.213 --> 00:34:46.213 No, no, we're still okay. 00:34:46.296 --> 00:34:47.463 - No one's picked up the story. - All right. 00:34:47.546 --> 00:34:48.796 Looking at Lucy's face, I thought for sure… 00:34:48.880 --> 00:34:50.213 I'm pregnant. 00:34:54.671 --> 00:34:56.505 That's not at all what I was gonna say. 00:34:56.588 --> 00:34:58.463 That's what we came to talk about. 00:34:58.546 --> 00:35:01.421 We were gonna have this conversation yesterday, but other things were… 00:35:01.505 --> 00:35:04.005 - Yeah, yeah, sure. - Well, this is a one-two punch. 00:35:04.088 --> 00:35:05.546 It's not a punch. I'm having a baby. 00:35:07.088 --> 00:35:09.046 What do we do now? 00:35:12.838 --> 00:35:15.046 I know it seems like no one said congratulations, 00:35:15.130 --> 00:35:16.210 but that cannot be, as these are three of… 00:35:16.234 --> 00:35:16.755 No, no, no, no. 00:35:16.838 --> 00:35:18.546 - …our closest friends and colleagues. - You're right. You're right. Sorry. 00:35:18.630 --> 00:35:19.921 - Oh, it's wonderful news. - Yeah, hey, congratulations. 00:35:20.005 --> 00:35:21.130 - Yes! Congratulations. - Yeah, that's great. 00:35:21.213 --> 00:35:22.463 - Thank you. - Another baby. 00:35:22.546 --> 00:35:23.921 - Gracias. - Yeah, mazel tov. 00:35:24.005 --> 00:35:25.546 - Gracias. Gracias. -Really, really. - Congratulations, Des. 00:35:25.630 --> 00:35:27.671 - Very happy. Very happy. - Yeah. 00:35:27.755 --> 00:35:29.630 - Very exciting. Yeah. - So, uh… 00:35:29.713 --> 00:35:31.171 Yeah. 00:35:31.255 --> 00:35:33.255 With Lucie, I was the size of a phone booth, so… 00:35:33.338 --> 00:35:34.796 Yeah. 00:35:34.880 --> 00:35:36.880 You've got about seven weeks before you have to start 00:35:36.963 --> 00:35:39.171 hiding me behind boxes and chairs, 00:35:39.255 --> 00:35:43.130 and then another seven weeks after that before I won't fit in the frame. 00:35:43.213 --> 00:35:44.546 - What do you want to do? - Do? 00:35:44.630 --> 00:35:46.255 Whatever there was to do, we've done it. 00:35:46.338 --> 00:35:49.088 - Where does that leave us? - Without a choice. 00:35:49.171 --> 00:35:51.588 Lucy Ricardo is gonna have a baby on television. 00:35:53.505 --> 00:35:54.880 - No, no, Des. - How many scripts in the bank? 00:35:54.963 --> 00:35:56.130 We're-we're five ahead of production. 00:35:56.213 --> 00:35:57.338 We're shooting four and we're writing nine. 00:35:57.421 --> 00:35:59.296 Four. No harm done. 00:35:59.380 --> 00:36:02.005 But whatever script you're working on now, 00:36:02.088 --> 00:36:04.380 - episode nine, scratch it. - Okay. 00:36:04.463 --> 00:36:07.713 Episode– no, episode nine is now “Lucy Tells Ricky She's Pregnant,” 00:36:07.796 --> 00:36:09.671 and we work from there. What's that one? 00:36:10.796 --> 00:36:12.838 - Which one? - “Lucy Goes to Italy.” 00:36:12.921 --> 00:36:14.421 We want to send the four of you to Italy. 00:36:14.505 --> 00:36:16.588 - Why? - We think it'd be nice to get off our set. 00:36:16.671 --> 00:36:18.921 No, why do the Ricardos and Mertzes go to Italy? 00:36:19.005 --> 00:36:21.338 - A vacation. - They don't vacation in Europe. 00:36:21.421 --> 00:36:23.588 They go to the Grand Canyon. 00:36:23.671 --> 00:36:25.505 - They go to Niagara Falls. - Work. 00:36:25.588 --> 00:36:27.713 - Ricky's got a gig at a club in Rome. - And what does Lucy do? 00:36:27.796 --> 00:36:30.005 She stomps grapes. 00:36:30.088 --> 00:36:32.296 Lucy and Ethel go to an Italian vineyard. 00:36:32.380 --> 00:36:34.088 - Why? - We don't know yet. 00:36:34.171 --> 00:36:35.880 And she stomps grapes. 00:36:35.963 --> 00:36:38.713 This vineyard is located in the 19th century? 00:36:38.796 --> 00:36:40.588 - They don't stomp grapes anymore? - No. 00:36:40.671 --> 00:36:43.255 Okay, so we find the one vineyard where they still stomp grapes. 00:36:43.338 --> 00:36:45.046 Come in. 00:36:45.130 --> 00:36:47.838 - Sì, signora. You sent for me? - Yes. 00:36:47.921 --> 00:36:49.921 Are there any grape vineyards around here? 00:36:50.005 --> 00:36:51.671 I'd like to know how they make the wine, 00:36:51.755 --> 00:36:54.755 how they pick the grapes, how they press the juice out with their feet. 00:36:54.838 --> 00:36:56.505 There is one little town called Turo 00:36:56.588 --> 00:36:59.005 - where they still make the wine that way. - Easy. 00:36:59.088 --> 00:37:01.088 Why does she want to go to a vineyard? 00:37:01.171 --> 00:37:02.963 We don't know yet. 00:37:03.046 --> 00:37:04.963 She has an audition for an Italian movie. 00:37:05.046 --> 00:37:06.713 What does that have to do with stomping grapes? 00:37:06.796 --> 00:37:07.963 The part. 00:37:08.046 --> 00:37:10.171 She happens to be just the type I need. 00:37:10.255 --> 00:37:12.838 The role of a beautiful Italian redhead 00:37:12.921 --> 00:37:15.421 who, uh– como si dice– uh, steps on grapes. 00:37:18.046 --> 00:37:19.838 We'll get there. The point is 00:37:19.921 --> 00:37:21.880 Lucy in a vat of grapes for five minutes. 00:37:21.963 --> 00:37:23.630 I can see it. 00:37:46.338 --> 00:37:48.963 What can happen in the vat of grapes? What can she do? 00:37:54.546 --> 00:37:56.171 It doesn't matter right now. 00:37:56.255 --> 00:37:59.338 We need to get back to– Des, the network isn't gonna allow it 00:37:59.421 --> 00:38:01.130 and neither will Philip Morris. Lucy… 00:38:01.213 --> 00:38:02.838 Just hang on. 00:38:08.171 --> 00:38:09.796 - She loses an earring. - Yes. 00:38:09.880 --> 00:38:10.963 - There it is. - What are you talking about? 00:38:11.046 --> 00:38:12.088 In the grapes. 00:38:32.546 --> 00:38:34.213 Push it to next year. 00:38:34.296 --> 00:38:36.088 They're not going to Italy while she's pregnant. 00:38:36.171 --> 00:38:38.463 I'll bet you my next paycheck against your next paycheck 00:38:38.546 --> 00:38:40.713 that CBS won't even allow us to use the word “pregnant.” 00:38:40.796 --> 00:38:43.755 - “Lucy Tells the Truth.” - That one's Madelyn's idea. 00:38:43.838 --> 00:38:46.380 - She got it just seconds after I pitched it. -Folks… 00:38:46.463 --> 00:38:49.171 Ricky bets Lucy that she can't go two days without lying, 00:38:49.255 --> 00:38:51.005 and we put her in situations where it's hard not to lie. 00:38:51.088 --> 00:38:53.005 Okay, it's started. 00:38:53.088 --> 00:38:54.755 For the next 48 hours. 00:38:54.838 --> 00:38:56.213 - Okay. - All right. 00:38:56.296 --> 00:38:58.838 I can hardly wait to hear you tomorrow afternoon, Lucy. 00:38:58.921 --> 00:39:00.005 Why? 00:39:00.088 --> 00:39:01.505 We're playing bridge at Carolyn's, remember? 00:39:01.588 --> 00:39:04.130 Oh, no, no, no. 00:39:04.213 --> 00:39:05.838 I can't spend the afternoon 00:39:05.921 --> 00:39:07.588 with three women and have to tell the truth. 00:39:07.671 --> 00:39:10.755 I'll call Carolyn and tell her I'm sick. 00:39:12.463 --> 00:39:14.421 After 47 hours, 00:39:14.505 --> 00:39:16.963 - she's winning, but in the final hour… - Here it is. 00:39:17.046 --> 00:39:19.463 …Ricky gets a visit from the IRS, and the guy wants to ask about 00:39:19.546 --> 00:39:22.421 some questionable things that Ricky's claiming on his deductions. 00:39:22.505 --> 00:39:25.171 Lucy's sitting in the living room, too, and of course when she's asked 00:39:25.255 --> 00:39:28.046 by the IRS agent to corroborate, she can't tell a lie, so… 00:39:28.130 --> 00:39:29.338 That's a funny premise. 00:39:29.421 --> 00:39:30.755 Yes, it is. 00:39:30.838 --> 00:39:32.463 But lose the IRS scene. 00:39:32.546 --> 00:39:33.838 - Could be a good scene. - He's correct. 00:39:33.921 --> 00:39:35.088 Once I write it, it could be good. 00:39:35.171 --> 00:39:36.838 Ah, Ricky Ricardo loves America. 00:39:36.921 --> 00:39:38.213 He loves being an American. 00:39:38.296 --> 00:39:40.088 He's grateful to this country. 00:39:40.171 --> 00:39:41.421 He'd never cheat on his taxes. 00:39:41.505 --> 00:39:44.130 - It's very relatable. Everybody does. - I don't! Neither does Ricky. 00:39:44.213 --> 00:39:47.005 Especially when his wife is accused of being un-American. 00:39:47.088 --> 00:39:50.713 Look for something else, and start working on the first pregnancy show. 00:39:50.796 --> 00:39:52.130 - Listen to me. - What? 00:39:52.213 --> 00:39:53.796 They're not gonna let us do it. 00:39:53.880 --> 00:39:56.588 - Let that be my problem. - Oh, I wish I could, Des, 00:39:56.671 --> 00:39:58.463 but it's very much my problem, okay? 00:39:58.546 --> 00:40:01.755 So instead of talking about goddamn grapes, why don't… 00:40:02.838 --> 00:40:04.588 Look, what you got to understand is this. 00:40:04.671 --> 00:40:06.255 - We don't know… - Jess, they're free to take us off the air 00:40:06.338 --> 00:40:09.380 for the rest of the year while continuing to pay our contracts 00:40:09.463 --> 00:40:12.088 and answering questions about why motherhood is too salacious 00:40:12.171 --> 00:40:16.046 to put on CBS, but something tells me they're not gonna go that route. 00:40:16.130 --> 00:40:19.755 Instead, I think Broadcast Standards and Practices will give you 00:40:19.838 --> 00:40:22.671 a list of insane restrictions, which might even include 00:40:22.755 --> 00:40:24.796 you winning your bet with Desi, and which I have no doubt 00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:28.380 the three of you will navigate beautifully. 00:40:28.463 --> 00:40:29.588 You told me to be nice. 00:40:29.671 --> 00:40:31.546 Good? 00:40:31.630 --> 00:40:33.130 Yeah. 00:40:38.963 --> 00:40:42.088 I don't care what your first thoughts out of the gate were, 00:40:42.171 --> 00:40:45.213 but your first words out of the gate were no good. 00:40:45.296 --> 00:40:47.296 And what was with you at the table read? 00:40:48.380 --> 00:40:50.838 I'm sorry. She was jumping on every stage direction. 00:40:50.921 --> 00:40:51.963 It's her process. 00:40:52.046 --> 00:40:53.878 But that process usually happens in private. 00:40:53.902 --> 00:40:54.505 Yes. 00:40:54.588 --> 00:40:56.796 And following your advice, maybe every once in a while, 00:40:56.880 --> 00:40:59.921 the first words out of her mouth could be “good script.” 00:41:01.005 --> 00:41:04.046 Well, is this the right week for this shit? 00:41:04.130 --> 00:41:06.505 - Hey. - We do seem to be having some success, no? 00:41:06.588 --> 00:41:09.213 We're all really tired from working on this week's script. 00:41:09.296 --> 00:41:11.296 Oh, are you sleepy? You need a nap? 00:41:11.380 --> 00:41:13.171 - Can I talk to you for a second, boss? - Sure. 00:41:20.213 --> 00:41:21.796 I'm the executive producer of this show. 00:41:21.880 --> 00:41:23.838 You can't manhandle me like that in front of other people. 00:41:23.921 --> 00:41:25.463 You just can't do it. My show. 00:41:25.546 --> 00:41:26.921 And Madelyn was a hundred percent right. 00:41:27.005 --> 00:41:28.921 - Ricky pays his taxes. - I get it. 00:41:29.005 --> 00:41:31.046 And we're having the baby on the show. 00:41:31.130 --> 00:41:33.130 There's no chance they say yes. 00:41:34.213 --> 00:41:36.880 There's no chance they say yes to you. 00:41:41.463 --> 00:41:43.463 Did you get all that? 00:41:43.546 --> 00:41:44.463 Yes. 00:41:44.546 --> 00:41:46.130 That was a joke. 00:41:47.130 --> 00:41:49.421 Back to right before Vivian's entrance. 00:41:49.505 --> 00:41:51.171 “When do we eat?” 00:41:51.255 --> 00:41:53.338 Settle. And action. 00:41:53.421 --> 00:41:55.880 Uh, when do we eat? 00:41:55.963 --> 00:41:58.088 I've been living on peanut butter sandwiches. 00:41:58.171 --> 00:42:00.171 Bill, that line's got to take you over to the table. 00:42:00.255 --> 00:42:01.838 - Hmm? - You need to cross to the table on that. 00:42:01.921 --> 00:42:03.171 Why? 00:42:03.255 --> 00:42:04.671 - Because we need to… - So you can see the table, 00:42:04.755 --> 00:42:07.671 notice that a fourth place is set and say your next line. 00:42:09.838 --> 00:42:11.796 Uh, someone else coming? 00:42:11.880 --> 00:42:16.255 Well, Fred, I took the liberty of asking a young lady to be your dinner companion. 00:42:16.338 --> 00:42:18.505 - A young lady? - A cute young chick. 00:42:18.588 --> 00:42:21.046 - Oh, boy, bring her on. - Uh-uh. 00:42:21.130 --> 00:42:22.630 - Hang on. - What? 00:42:22.713 --> 00:42:24.921 When I say, “I took the liberty of asking 00:42:25.005 --> 00:42:26.838 - a young lady to be your dinner companion…” -Mm-hmm. 00:42:26.921 --> 00:42:30.380 …Ricky should take a sip from a glass of water on the table to keep from laughing. 00:42:30.463 --> 00:42:32.088 - And then when I say, “A cute young chick…” -Uh-huh. 00:42:32.171 --> 00:42:33.546 …he should choke on his water a little. 00:42:33.630 --> 00:42:35.380 - I like that. - I like it, too. 00:42:35.463 --> 00:42:39.421 The very idea that Ethel's a cute young chick should make Desi choke. 00:42:41.255 --> 00:42:42.713 That's 15. 00:42:42.796 --> 00:42:44.921 - Okay. - That's 15 minutes! 00:42:46.505 --> 00:42:47.713 I'll be funny by Friday. 00:42:47.796 --> 00:42:50.463 And when can we expect you to be funny? 00:43:04.713 --> 00:43:07.421 “Exactly what makes a husband leave home 00:43:07.505 --> 00:43:10.963 - is something that has been baffling wives since Adam and Eve.” -Enough. 00:43:11.046 --> 00:43:14.505 “For an outstanding example, let's take one of the nation's most famous husbands.” 00:43:14.588 --> 00:43:17.088 - You've memorized it? - I've memorized worse writing than this. 00:43:17.171 --> 00:43:19.713 - Yes, it's a tabloid. - “With a curvy, red-haired tidbit 00:43:19.796 --> 00:43:24.338 like Lucy waiting for him at home, would Desi be foolish enough…” 00:43:24.421 --> 00:43:27.088 - Stop it. -”…to prowl Hollywood like a bachelor wolf? 00:43:27.171 --> 00:43:29.171 - If so, why?” - It's made up. 00:43:30.255 --> 00:43:32.380 - 20 million readers want to know. - Lucy… 00:43:32.463 --> 00:43:34.630 - 20 million and one. - How many times 00:43:34.713 --> 00:43:37.713 I got to 'splain where I was and what I was doing? 00:43:37.796 --> 00:43:39.838 How many times you got to 'splain? 00:43:39.921 --> 00:43:42.296 I can't get enough of that joke. 00:43:43.505 --> 00:43:45.130 They document an entire night. 00:43:45.213 --> 00:43:47.088 Someone in your gang's a rat. 00:43:47.171 --> 00:43:48.171 My gang. 00:43:49.963 --> 00:43:53.505 The night they're talking about, I was with Red Skelton and Xavier Cugat. 00:43:53.588 --> 00:43:56.713 - Which one of them you think squealed? - They made it up from nothing? 00:43:56.796 --> 00:43:58.963 I heard on Winchell the other night that you were a Communist. 00:43:59.046 --> 00:44:01.088 That was true, you idiot! 00:44:01.171 --> 00:44:03.088 Yeah. That was a bad example. 00:44:03.171 --> 00:44:04.671 And I didn't check the wrong box. 00:44:06.005 --> 00:44:07.755 Okay, I'm sorry about that. 00:44:09.213 --> 00:44:11.421 I believe you. 00:44:11.505 --> 00:44:13.588 - I'm just messing around. - Good. 00:44:14.921 --> 00:44:18.005 No. That gets you out of the woods, but it puts you into other woods. 00:44:18.088 --> 00:44:19.255 What are the other woods? 00:44:19.338 --> 00:44:21.380 You don't come home anymore. Did you know that? 00:44:21.463 --> 00:44:23.796 - You change subjects faster than… - Keep up. 00:44:23.880 --> 00:44:25.171 It's not hard. 00:44:25.255 --> 00:44:28.421 I asked, “Did you know you don't come home anymore?” 00:44:28.505 --> 00:44:29.838 Of course I come home. 00:44:29.921 --> 00:44:32.755 Sometimes I go to the boat and play cards. 00:44:32.838 --> 00:44:35.880 We drink, it goes late, it's easier to sleep on the boat. 00:44:37.630 --> 00:44:39.380 That used to be once a week, then twice. 00:44:39.463 --> 00:44:41.880 Now it's four or five times. 00:44:44.005 --> 00:44:46.130 I go home after work, you go to the boat. 00:44:48.421 --> 00:44:50.213 You once asked me what my ambition was. 00:44:50.296 --> 00:44:51.296 You remember? 00:44:51.380 --> 00:44:53.671 Mm-hmm. 00:44:53.755 --> 00:44:55.755 And you liked my answer. 00:44:58.005 --> 00:45:00.463 She used the word “home” a lot. 00:45:00.546 --> 00:45:04.005 She talked about having a home. 00:45:04.088 --> 00:45:08.046 Lucy owned three houses, but sometimes, when she fell into a funk, 00:45:08.130 --> 00:45:11.838 she'd say… she didn't have a home. 00:45:11.921 --> 00:45:14.005 They eloped. 00:45:14.088 --> 00:45:15.630 They bought a ranch in Chatsworth. 00:45:15.713 --> 00:45:19.838 They were deeply in love and deliriously happy. 00:45:19.921 --> 00:45:23.630 What you got to understand is they weren't very happy. 00:45:23.713 --> 00:45:25.463 They never saw each other. 00:45:25.546 --> 00:45:28.921 Desi and his orchestra were booked at Ciro's. 00:45:29.005 --> 00:45:31.880 Lucy was under contract at RKO. 00:45:31.963 --> 00:45:36.463 Desi would be done with work around 4:00 a.m. 00:45:36.546 --> 00:45:38.630 Lucy had to be in hair and makeup at 5:00 a.m. 00:45:38.713 --> 00:45:40.838 They'd meet at the top of Mulholland. 00:45:45.838 --> 00:45:47.921 ♫ Babalú ♫ 00:45:48.963 --> 00:45:51.088 ♫ Babalú ♫ 00:45:52.380 --> 00:45:53.588 ♫ Babalú ♫ 00:45:53.671 --> 00:45:55.213 ♫ Ayé ♫ 00:45:55.296 --> 00:45:58.005 ♫ Babalú ayé ♫ 00:46:09.463 --> 00:46:11.796 ♫ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♫ 00:46:11.880 --> 00:46:14.755 - ♫ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♫ - ♫ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♫ 00:46:14.838 --> 00:46:16.505 ♫ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♫ 00:46:16.588 --> 00:46:19.713 - ♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ - ♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 00:46:19.796 --> 00:46:23.380 - ♫ Arriba con la conga ♫ - ♫ Arriba con la conga. ♫ 00:46:40.796 --> 00:46:42.755 - What do we have here? - Yeah, Desi! 00:46:42.838 --> 00:46:43.963 A lot of choices. 00:46:44.046 --> 00:46:46.796 There's only one choice for me, and she's got a powerful right hook. 00:46:46.880 --> 00:46:50.296 My friend and I saw the midnight show and the 2:00 a.m. 00:46:51.671 --> 00:46:53.255 Thank you. 00:46:53.338 --> 00:46:55.130 Aw. 00:46:55.213 --> 00:46:57.130 ♫ ♫ 00:47:18.755 --> 00:47:20.088 I did the calculation. 00:47:20.171 --> 00:47:21.546 In the course of one week, 00:47:21.630 --> 00:47:24.588 I see you 1/20th as much as your second trombone player. 00:47:25.671 --> 00:47:28.755 Well, learn to play the trombone, and I'll give you his job. 00:47:28.838 --> 00:47:31.046 Well, how hard is the trombone? 00:47:33.046 --> 00:47:36.505 Ay, maybe it'd be better if we didn't spend the little time we have 00:47:36.588 --> 00:47:39.671 arguing about why we don't have more time. 00:47:39.755 --> 00:47:43.005 Don't make me feel like a bitch because I want to see my husband. 00:47:43.088 --> 00:47:45.421 Hey. 00:47:45.505 --> 00:47:49.630 I-I could stay home and be kept by my wife. 00:47:50.630 --> 00:47:53.671 I mean, that'd really complete the picture Americans have of Cuban men. 00:47:53.755 --> 00:47:55.921 What home are you talking about? 00:47:56.005 --> 00:47:59.880 Or you could quit the film business and just be my wife. 00:47:59.963 --> 00:48:01.880 But you ain't gonna do that, right? 00:48:01.963 --> 00:48:03.338 No. 00:48:03.421 --> 00:48:05.380 How about you come to the club more to watch the show? 00:48:08.171 --> 00:48:09.880 I had a picture open five days ago. 00:48:09.963 --> 00:48:12.130 You really want me to come down to the club? 00:48:12.213 --> 00:48:13.713 Why not? 00:48:15.213 --> 00:48:17.005 Okay. 00:48:19.713 --> 00:48:22.380 ♫ They call me Cuban Pete ♫ 00:48:22.463 --> 00:48:24.921 ♫ I'm the king of the rumba beat ♫ 00:48:25.005 --> 00:48:26.421 ♫ When I play the maracas, I go ♫ 00:48:26.505 --> 00:48:29.505 ♫ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♫ 00:48:29.588 --> 00:48:31.463 ♫ Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete ♫ 00:48:31.546 --> 00:48:33.755 ♫ I'm the craze of my native street ♫ 00:48:33.838 --> 00:48:35.671 ♫ When I start to dance, everything goes ♫ 00:48:35.755 --> 00:48:38.171 ♫ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♫ 00:48:38.255 --> 00:48:41.046 ♫ The señoritas, they sing ♫ 00:48:41.130 --> 00:48:43.671 ♫ And how they swing with this rumbero ♫ 00:48:43.755 --> 00:48:45.671 ♫ It's very nice ♫ 00:48:45.755 --> 00:48:47.046 ♫ So full of spice ♫ 00:48:48.213 --> 00:48:50.046 ♫ And when they're dancing ♫ 00:48:50.130 --> 00:48:52.546 ♫ They bring a happy ring, the maraquero ♫ 00:48:52.630 --> 00:48:54.380 ♫ Singing a song ♫ 00:48:54.463 --> 00:48:56.630 ♫ All the day long. ♫ 00:48:56.713 --> 00:48:59.296 Ah! What do we have here? 00:48:59.380 --> 00:49:01.088 Lucy! 00:49:03.255 --> 00:49:05.088 ♫ ♫ 00:49:06.296 --> 00:49:07.880 This way, Miss Ball! Hollywood Citizen! 00:49:07.963 --> 00:49:09.630 We love you in the movie! 00:49:09.713 --> 00:49:11.713 - Thank you. - Wasn't the show fun? 00:49:16.505 --> 00:49:18.671 Come on in. 00:49:20.338 --> 00:49:21.338 Good morning. 00:49:21.421 --> 00:49:23.088 Hey, Maddie. 00:49:23.171 --> 00:49:24.921 Some week, huh? 00:49:25.005 --> 00:49:27.046 Lucille Ball's a threat to the American way of life? 00:49:27.130 --> 00:49:29.630 She's a threat to writers, camera operators and Desi, 00:49:29.713 --> 00:49:30.796 but it really stops there. 00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:32.713 Have you ever had a week like this? 00:49:32.796 --> 00:49:35.088 No, but we work in Hollywood, and something tells me 00:49:35.171 --> 00:49:37.588 we're all gonna have weeks like this before that committee's done. 00:49:39.380 --> 00:49:41.130 - Look what you can still do. - Still? 00:49:41.213 --> 00:49:43.755 I regretted it even before I said it. 00:49:43.838 --> 00:49:46.005 I can't do that, and I'm just impressed. 00:49:46.088 --> 00:49:47.255 What's in your hands? 00:49:47.338 --> 00:49:49.130 I got you some breakfast from the commissary. 00:49:49.213 --> 00:49:50.796 They told me you didn't have any, but… 00:49:50.880 --> 00:49:53.463 I did. I had a cup of coffee and half a grapefruit. 00:49:53.546 --> 00:49:56.255 Well, I have French toast, bacon, eggs and potatoes. 00:49:56.338 --> 00:49:58.296 - Enjoy it. - It's for you. 00:49:58.380 --> 00:50:00.713 That was very sweet, but, no, thank you. 00:50:02.588 --> 00:50:04.463 Is it just me or have you lost a little weight? 00:50:04.546 --> 00:50:06.213 I have. 00:50:06.296 --> 00:50:08.338 Well, you look great. 00:50:08.421 --> 00:50:09.921 Thank you. 00:50:14.546 --> 00:50:16.838 - I'll see you onstage. - Mm-hmm. 00:50:16.921 --> 00:50:19.546 - Madelyn. - Yeah? 00:50:19.630 --> 00:50:22.088 Who told you that I didn't have any breakfast? 00:50:24.671 --> 00:50:26.671 I don't know. 00:50:26.755 --> 00:50:28.963 I think… 00:50:29.046 --> 00:50:30.921 It was Tino. 00:50:31.005 --> 00:50:32.255 The tall waiter. 00:50:32.338 --> 00:50:33.796 Okay. 00:50:34.880 --> 00:50:36.088 Yeah. 00:50:38.880 --> 00:50:41.046 Jesus Christ. 00:50:41.130 --> 00:50:43.630 Day three and still no pickup on the Winchell story. 00:50:43.713 --> 00:50:45.546 - Fellas, I think we're out of this. - Might be. 00:50:45.630 --> 00:50:47.505 - Might be. - Howard? 00:50:47.588 --> 00:50:50.005 There's another shoe, and none of us are getting out of this alive. 00:50:50.088 --> 00:50:51.255 Howard. 00:50:51.338 --> 00:50:52.880 They're uncovering something new, 00:50:52.963 --> 00:50:56.171 they're chasing the original testimony, something, 00:50:56.255 --> 00:50:57.463 but there's another shoe. 00:50:57.546 --> 00:50:59.505 There's nothing more to uncover. There are no more shoes. 00:50:59.588 --> 00:51:01.880 - Lucy's pregnant. - Well, that. 00:51:06.213 --> 00:51:07.255 What? 00:51:07.338 --> 00:51:08.338 Lucy's pregnant. 00:51:08.421 --> 00:51:09.755 With a baby? 00:51:09.838 --> 00:51:11.588 Mm-hmm. 00:51:11.671 --> 00:51:12.796 How… 00:51:12.880 --> 00:51:15.213 I'm… not sure what words to use. 00:51:15.296 --> 00:51:18.255 How much pregnant are you? 00:51:18.338 --> 00:51:20.630 Why did you think you didn't know what words to use? 00:51:20.713 --> 00:51:22.921 He means how far, as a percentage of nine months– 00:51:23.005 --> 00:51:24.838 where are you on-on the timeline of-of the… 00:51:24.921 --> 00:51:26.630 Someone should point a goddamn camera at this. 00:51:26.713 --> 00:51:27.880 She's 12 weeks pregnant. 00:51:27.963 --> 00:51:28.921 So that means, uh… 00:51:29.005 --> 00:51:30.921 12 weeks ago, I fucked my husband. 00:51:31.005 --> 00:51:31.963 Whoa, whoa, whoa! -No, no, no. 00:51:34.171 --> 00:51:36.005 She'll start showing in about 00:51:36.088 --> 00:51:40.505 six weeks, and a month after that, there won't be any hiding it. 00:51:40.588 --> 00:51:42.005 This isn't a problem. 00:51:42.088 --> 00:51:43.505 - It's not. - This has happened before. 00:51:43.588 --> 00:51:46.671 I won't say names, but it's been dealt with. 00:51:46.755 --> 00:51:49.255 Is he talking about having me killed? 00:51:49.338 --> 00:51:51.171 No, you carry a basket of laundry, 00:51:51.255 --> 00:51:53.963 stand behind chairs, you sit with a pillow on your lap. 00:51:54.046 --> 00:51:55.630 Those are great ideas, especially having Lucy 00:51:55.713 --> 00:51:57.171 carry a basket of laundry in every scene. 00:51:57.255 --> 00:51:58.505 Or stand behind chairs. 00:51:58.588 --> 00:52:01.838 Where in the Ricardo's living room are the giant chairs you're talking about? 00:52:01.921 --> 00:52:04.046 Lucy and Ricky redecorate, huh? 00:52:04.130 --> 00:52:05.630 The writers can get some fun out of this. 00:52:05.713 --> 00:52:07.963 Maybe they get some large ficus trees. 00:52:08.046 --> 00:52:09.296 They'd have to be California redwoods, 00:52:09.380 --> 00:52:11.838 and I'd have to stand behind them anytime I wasn't doing the wash. 00:52:11.921 --> 00:52:13.130 Well, what do you propose? 00:52:13.213 --> 00:52:14.630 That the Ricardos have a baby. 00:52:17.005 --> 00:52:18.671 What do you mean? 00:52:18.755 --> 00:52:20.463 I told you it was gonna be like this. 00:52:20.546 --> 00:52:24.005 Lucy Ricardo will be pregnant on the show. 00:52:24.088 --> 00:52:29.171 An eight-episode arc starting with Lucy telling Ricky the happy news 00:52:29.255 --> 00:52:32.088 - and ending with the birth of the baby. - No. 00:52:32.171 --> 00:52:33.838 No, no, no. 00:52:33.921 --> 00:52:35.421 You can't have a pregnant woman on television. 00:52:35.505 --> 00:52:36.630 Why not? 00:52:36.713 --> 00:52:37.713 Because it's television. 00:52:37.796 --> 00:52:39.380 We come into people's homes. 00:52:39.463 --> 00:52:41.588 Pregnant women often vomit. 00:52:41.671 --> 00:52:43.463 I know I could any second. 00:52:43.546 --> 00:52:45.546 - May I say something? - Frankly, I can't wait. 00:52:45.630 --> 00:52:48.630 If Lucy Ricardo's pregnant, the audience's mind immediately goes 00:52:48.713 --> 00:52:50.005 to how did she get that way. 00:52:50.088 --> 00:52:51.338 Lucy and Ricky sleep in separate beds. 00:52:51.421 --> 00:52:53.338 We'll be pushing the beds together, too. 00:52:53.421 --> 00:52:54.880 - Oh. -Oh, no. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 00:52:54.963 --> 00:52:57.421 I'm sorry, Des, we're gonna have to put our foot down on this one. 00:52:57.505 --> 00:52:59.546 You can't do it. End of discussion. 00:53:03.755 --> 00:53:05.838 ♫ ♫ 00:53:05.921 --> 00:53:09.463 Miss Rosen, will you come in please, with a pad and pen? 00:53:13.505 --> 00:53:14.921 My secretary. 00:53:16.338 --> 00:53:17.880 What are you doing? 00:53:17.963 --> 00:53:19.713 To Mr. Alfred Lyons, Chairman of the Board of Philip Morris. 00:53:19.796 --> 00:53:21.213 We don't want to bring Mr. Lyons into this. 00:53:21.296 --> 00:53:23.796 “Mr. Lyons, I guess it all comes down to you. 00:53:23.880 --> 00:53:26.463 “You are the man who's paying the money for this show, 00:53:26.546 --> 00:53:28.213 and I'll do whatever you decide.” 00:53:28.296 --> 00:53:30.505 Mr. Lyons doesn't get involved at this level. 00:53:30.588 --> 00:53:33.380 “There's only one thing I want to make certain that you understand.” 00:53:33.463 --> 00:53:35.171 - Desi… - “We've given you 00:53:35.255 --> 00:53:37.171 “the number one show on television, 00:53:37.255 --> 00:53:41.505 “and up until now, the creative decisions have been in our hands. 00:53:41.588 --> 00:53:45.213 They are now telling us that Lucy and Ricky can't have a baby on the show.” 00:53:45.296 --> 00:53:46.421 That's not exactly what we said. 00:53:46.505 --> 00:53:48.963 “All I ask from you, if you agree with them, 00:53:49.046 --> 00:53:52.546 “is that you inform them that we will not accept them telling us what not to do 00:53:52.630 --> 00:53:58.088 “unless, beginning with our next episode, they also tell us what to do. 00:53:58.171 --> 00:54:00.713 Sincerely,” et cetera, et cetera. Thank you. 00:54:00.796 --> 00:54:03.171 - And send it by telegram please. - Yes, sir. 00:54:05.713 --> 00:54:08.130 And that wasn't even why I married him. 00:54:11.796 --> 00:54:12.796 That was. 00:54:15.380 --> 00:54:17.380 Quiet please! Rehearsal's up! 00:54:17.463 --> 00:54:20.171 Lucy, let me out of here! 00:54:20.255 --> 00:54:21.713 Untie this coat! 00:54:21.796 --> 00:54:23.630 Not until you kiss and make up. 00:54:23.713 --> 00:54:26.421 I'll never make up with him after the things he said. 00:54:26.505 --> 00:54:28.588 What about the things you said to me? 00:54:28.671 --> 00:54:30.713 She said my mother looks like a weasel. 00:54:30.796 --> 00:54:33.046 - Apologize, Ethel. - No. 00:54:33.130 --> 00:54:36.463 Oh, come on, Ethel. Tell him you're sorry. 00:54:36.546 --> 00:54:37.630 Well… 00:54:37.713 --> 00:54:39.755 I'm sorry your mother looks like a weasel. 00:54:39.838 --> 00:54:41.755 Now, Ethel. 00:54:41.838 --> 00:54:43.130 Well, he should have more consideration. 00:54:43.213 --> 00:54:45.296 After all, I gave him the best years of my life. 00:54:45.380 --> 00:54:47.880 Were those the best? 00:54:47.963 --> 00:54:49.755 All right, all right, now you're even. 00:54:49.838 --> 00:54:51.755 Now, what are your terms for making up, Ethel? 00:54:51.838 --> 00:54:53.296 Well, he should… 00:54:53.380 --> 00:54:56.046 We should go back to the dinner table. 00:54:57.130 --> 00:54:59.755 - What was that? - We should go back to the dinner table. 00:54:59.838 --> 00:55:02.963 I think, given the time, we should move on. 00:55:03.046 --> 00:55:04.046 It was good. 00:55:04.130 --> 00:55:05.838 Yeah, except, no, it wasn't. 00:55:05.921 --> 00:55:06.963 - What? - Good. 00:55:07.046 --> 00:55:08.671 - Wasn't good. - Uh… 00:55:08.755 --> 00:55:09.755 Ah, let's go back. 00:55:09.838 --> 00:55:11.130 What's happening? 00:55:11.213 --> 00:55:12.463 She wants to go back. 00:55:12.546 --> 00:55:13.588 - To what? - The dinner scene. 00:55:13.671 --> 00:55:15.213 What? 00:55:15.296 --> 00:55:17.921 The dinner scene, you drunken yontz! 00:55:18.005 --> 00:55:19.755 Have we hired anyone to play Ethel yet? 00:55:19.838 --> 00:55:21.088 All right, let's go. 00:55:21.171 --> 00:55:22.296 Go forward or go back to the dinner scene? 00:55:22.380 --> 00:55:23.380 Back. 00:55:25.088 --> 00:55:27.630 Page 15. This is still scene “A.” 00:55:27.713 --> 00:55:29.255 From, “You're right, he's not going to do me out of dinner.” 00:55:29.338 --> 00:55:31.546 - Cameras reset. Props reset. - Someone's gonna need to tell us 00:55:31.630 --> 00:55:33.338 what was wrong with the scene in the first place. 00:55:33.421 --> 00:55:34.671 - You were in it. - Bill. 00:55:34.755 --> 00:55:36.505 Something fundamental was wrong. I'll figure out what. 00:55:36.588 --> 00:55:37.671 I can figure out what. 00:55:37.755 --> 00:55:39.421 Let's all do our individual jobs. 00:55:39.505 --> 00:55:41.213 I hit him in the face until he's bleeding– 00:55:41.296 --> 00:55:43.463 - does our insurance cover that? - Yeah, I got the platinum plan. 00:55:43.546 --> 00:55:44.796 Good job. 00:55:44.880 --> 00:55:46.380 - Ready, ready. - Quiet please! 00:55:46.463 --> 00:55:47.755 Rehearsal's up! 00:55:47.838 --> 00:55:50.130 From, “You're right, he's not going to do me out of dinner.” 00:55:50.213 --> 00:55:51.255 Settle. 00:55:51.338 --> 00:55:53.546 And action. 00:55:53.630 --> 00:55:54.880 Uh, you're right. 00:55:54.963 --> 00:55:57.046 He's not gonna do me out of dinner. 00:55:57.130 --> 00:55:58.338 Good. 00:55:58.421 --> 00:56:01.255 Oh. Now, sit down, everyone. 00:56:03.255 --> 00:56:06.213 We don't have any more chairs. 00:56:06.296 --> 00:56:08.921 You two don't mind sharing, do you? 00:56:11.546 --> 00:56:13.380 The roast beef should be precut. 00:56:13.463 --> 00:56:15.130 - It will be, dear. - How's that, Ethel? 00:56:15.213 --> 00:56:17.171 - Not too much fat, is there? - There certainly is. 00:56:17.255 --> 00:56:18.255 He means the meat. 00:56:18.338 --> 00:56:19.796 Oh, no, the meat is fine. 00:56:19.880 --> 00:56:22.421 Now do your thing. 00:56:22.505 --> 00:56:24.380 Come on. 00:56:24.463 --> 00:56:25.630 - Mm. - Perfect. 00:56:25.713 --> 00:56:27.046 - Yeah? - Moving on. 00:56:27.130 --> 00:56:29.130 - Moving… - Staying put. -Why? 00:56:29.213 --> 00:56:30.755 We need to work out the moves at the table. 00:56:30.838 --> 00:56:32.213 Bill and I can work out the moves. 00:56:32.296 --> 00:56:33.880 It's not that I'm not confident that you can't work out… 00:56:33.963 --> 00:56:35.463 This is camera blocking. 00:56:35.546 --> 00:56:37.963 We can work out the stage business during tomorrow's run-through. 00:56:38.046 --> 00:56:40.421 I would strongly prefer that we do it now. 00:56:40.505 --> 00:56:42.963 I have to exercise my directorial authority. 00:56:43.046 --> 00:56:44.755 - You have to do what? - Let's take a break. 00:56:44.838 --> 00:56:46.796 - It's not time for a break. - Good, then, that's ten minutes. 00:56:46.880 --> 00:56:48.880 Ten minutes, we come back to scene “A”! 00:56:48.963 --> 00:56:51.255 - No, we don't. - Maybe we don't. It's hard to say. 00:56:57.171 --> 00:56:58.630 Tell me what's happening, honey. 00:56:59.796 --> 00:57:01.255 - You know what occurs to me? - Mm-hmm? 00:57:01.338 --> 00:57:02.921 At the top, it should be clear 00:57:03.005 --> 00:57:04.255 that I'm setting a nice table, right? 00:57:04.338 --> 00:57:06.713 There should be flowers in a vase. 00:57:08.838 --> 00:57:10.713 And I'm trying to get them just right. 00:57:10.796 --> 00:57:13.213 And I cut one of the stems, but now it's too short. 00:57:14.171 --> 00:57:15.713 Then I cut the others, but now they're too short and… 00:57:15.796 --> 00:57:17.838 - I get it. - What do you think? 00:57:17.921 --> 00:57:19.630 I think you're having a little bit of a breakdown. 00:57:19.713 --> 00:57:21.130 I meant about the flowers. 00:57:21.213 --> 00:57:23.880 Tell me what's happening now. 00:57:23.963 --> 00:57:25.921 Why is this so hard to understand? 00:57:26.005 --> 00:57:27.505 The dinner table isn't working, 00:57:27.588 --> 00:57:28.963 - and we need it to. - Mm-hmm. 00:57:29.046 --> 00:57:32.505 Right there are the building blocks of drama. 00:57:37.796 --> 00:57:39.796 ♫ ♫ 00:57:59.755 --> 00:58:01.171 Viv. 00:58:02.630 --> 00:58:03.963 It's not you. 00:58:04.046 --> 00:58:05.630 Or Bill. 00:58:05.713 --> 00:58:08.546 The dinner scene. It's Donald Glass. 00:58:08.630 --> 00:58:10.713 Well… 00:58:10.796 --> 00:58:11.838 it'll be funny. 00:58:11.921 --> 00:58:13.671 I'm sure of that. 00:58:13.755 --> 00:58:16.130 Can't get better till it gets bad. 00:58:16.213 --> 00:58:18.713 - Cross step one off the list. - Yeah. 00:58:18.796 --> 00:58:19.880 Okay. 00:58:21.421 --> 00:58:22.963 You hanging in there? 00:58:23.046 --> 00:58:24.796 Look, we've made 37 episodes. 00:58:24.880 --> 00:58:28.130 You do 37 of anything, one of them's gonna be your 37th best. 00:58:28.213 --> 00:58:30.171 Ours was directed by Donald Glass. 00:58:30.255 --> 00:58:32.088 Honey, the committee. 00:58:32.171 --> 00:58:34.421 They're not gonna base their findings based on how this week's sh… 00:58:34.505 --> 00:58:35.671 Fuck the committee. 00:58:35.755 --> 00:58:37.880 I said that. I'm talking about the show. 00:58:37.963 --> 00:58:40.963 And unless you count his wardrobe, Donald Glass doesn't understand 00:58:41.046 --> 00:58:44.171 the moving parts of physical comedy. 00:58:45.463 --> 00:58:46.463 That's all. 00:58:46.546 --> 00:58:49.463 My point is you're not the problem. 00:58:49.546 --> 00:58:50.838 Mm-hmm. 00:58:52.380 --> 00:58:53.671 Luce. 00:58:53.755 --> 00:58:55.171 Yeah? 00:58:58.171 --> 00:59:01.921 Uh, Madelyn brought me breakfast this morning. 00:59:02.005 --> 00:59:05.296 French toast, bacon and potatoes. 00:59:05.380 --> 00:59:08.880 She said that someone noticed I hadn't had breakfast. 00:59:08.963 --> 00:59:10.546 She said it looked like I had lost some weight. 00:59:10.630 --> 00:59:12.046 She's right. You look great. 00:59:12.130 --> 00:59:15.046 Madelyn's a staff writer. She doesn't bring people their breakfast. 00:59:16.838 --> 00:59:18.380 I'm not sure what you're asking. 00:59:18.463 --> 00:59:19.588 It sounds like she was… 00:59:19.671 --> 00:59:22.088 How would she know I hadn't had breakfast? 00:59:24.505 --> 00:59:25.630 I really don't know. 00:59:26.713 --> 00:59:28.713 - It was you, right? - Yeah. 00:59:28.796 --> 00:59:31.421 Got to give me credit. When I lie, I give it up pretty quick. 00:59:31.505 --> 00:59:34.005 - It's admirable. - Thanks. 00:59:34.088 --> 00:59:38.755 You told her to bring me breakfast and remark on my weight loss. 00:59:39.838 --> 00:59:40.921 Let me explain why. 00:59:41.005 --> 00:59:42.171 Why? 00:59:42.255 --> 00:59:44.255 Because I think you should get off this loony diet you're on. 00:59:44.338 --> 00:59:45.421 It's working. 00:59:45.505 --> 00:59:46.921 It's not good for you. 00:59:47.005 --> 00:59:48.130 I feel great. 00:59:48.213 --> 00:59:49.880 It's not good for Ethel. 00:59:49.963 --> 00:59:51.755 Ah, it's not. 00:59:51.838 --> 00:59:54.255 We're best friends, Viv. I don't want to fight. 00:59:54.338 --> 00:59:56.046 - I just sent some breakfast over because… -You didn't just send it over. 00:59:56.130 --> 00:59:58.380 You sent it over with Madelyn and a message 00:59:58.463 --> 01:00:01.963 and now a new message, which is that I look too good. 01:00:02.046 --> 01:00:05.005 Because we want you at the weight you were when we cast you. 01:00:05.088 --> 01:00:06.380 Otherwise it'll be bad for Ethel? 01:00:06.463 --> 01:00:07.713 - Yes. - Or bad for you? 01:00:11.713 --> 01:00:12.796 All right. 01:00:12.880 --> 01:00:14.880 No one's gonna stop loving Lucy when you're pregnant. 01:00:14.963 --> 01:00:16.296 You're not a pinup girl. 01:00:18.130 --> 01:00:19.421 Thanks for that, Viv. 01:00:19.505 --> 01:00:22.046 I'm saying take it easy, that's all. 01:00:22.130 --> 01:00:25.713 Everyone here stands shoulder to shoulder with you and no one feels funny 01:00:25.796 --> 01:00:28.213 'cause we're scared to death, and you're not helping 01:00:28.296 --> 01:00:30.713 by jumping up and down on everyone who works here 01:00:30.796 --> 01:00:32.505 and doing it in front of the whole crew! 01:00:32.588 --> 01:00:35.796 Goddamn it, Viv, most American women look like you, not me. 01:00:35.880 --> 01:00:38.046 They want to see themselves on television. 01:00:48.130 --> 01:00:50.463 What the hell are the two of you screaming about? 01:00:50.546 --> 01:00:52.338 - Nothing. - Nothing! 01:00:52.421 --> 01:00:54.588 I'm in my room taking my midmorning nap. 01:00:54.671 --> 01:00:57.296 Don't you usually do that while we're rehearsing? 01:00:58.296 --> 01:01:01.421 I'd love to hear more of that Moss Hart wit on the show. 01:01:08.713 --> 01:01:10.796 Don't worry about it. 01:01:10.880 --> 01:01:13.588 The weight always comes back. I can't keep it off anymore. 01:01:15.463 --> 01:01:17.338 This conversation went poorly. 01:01:17.421 --> 01:01:19.338 I thought it was great. 01:01:19.421 --> 01:01:23.921 I definitely feel like performing for tens of millions of people now. 01:01:26.213 --> 01:01:28.088 All right. 01:01:28.171 --> 01:01:29.880 So… 01:01:29.963 --> 01:01:31.380 Okay. 01:01:36.546 --> 01:01:38.963 - Lucille. - Yeah? 01:01:40.421 --> 01:01:42.130 Come with me for a drink. 01:01:42.213 --> 01:01:43.630 It's 10:00 a.m. 01:01:43.713 --> 01:01:45.505 I'm sure it's 10:15 somewhere. 01:01:45.588 --> 01:01:47.255 We have to be back onstage. 01:01:47.338 --> 01:01:49.046 - I wonder if they'll wait for you. - Bill, I'm not… 01:01:49.130 --> 01:01:50.296 Kid. 01:01:50.380 --> 01:01:52.671 Tell the stage Mrs. Arnaz is taking some personal time 01:01:52.755 --> 01:01:54.130 and she'll be back when she's back. 01:01:54.213 --> 01:01:56.380 - Probably 15 minutes. - Yes, ma'am. 01:01:56.463 --> 01:01:59.046 And you should remind props that I need garden shears in the opening scene. 01:01:59.130 --> 01:02:00.546 - Copy. - Let's go. 01:02:00.630 --> 01:02:02.838 We have to establish right away that I'm setting a fancy table. 01:02:02.921 --> 01:02:04.713 - You don't have to explain it to him. - We'll have flowers in a vase. 01:02:04.796 --> 01:02:06.296 I'll cut one of the flowers. 01:02:06.380 --> 01:02:08.296 - He doesn't care. - It'll be too short. 01:02:08.380 --> 01:02:10.338 I'll cut the other flowers, they'll be too short, and so on. 01:02:10.421 --> 01:02:11.880 - Got it. - So I need garden shears. 01:02:11.963 --> 01:02:12.963 Copy. 01:02:13.046 --> 01:02:15.255 Regular scissors aren't strong enough to cut through the stems. 01:02:15.338 --> 01:02:17.213 He's thinking a lot about killing you now. 01:02:17.296 --> 01:02:18.296 - Fine. - Go. 01:02:18.380 --> 01:02:20.005 Yep. 01:02:21.796 --> 01:02:23.296 It's raining. 01:02:23.380 --> 01:02:24.588 Your hair gonna be all right? 01:02:24.671 --> 01:02:26.046 I'm fine. 01:02:26.130 --> 01:02:30.255 Ever since I started doing this show, rain bounces off my hair. 01:02:30.338 --> 01:02:32.171 - That's helpful. - Mm. 01:02:32.255 --> 01:02:34.963 Honestly had no idea this place was here. 01:02:35.046 --> 01:02:37.630 They like to keep a low profile. 01:02:37.713 --> 01:02:39.796 Can't imagine why. 01:02:39.880 --> 01:02:43.171 Kind of people go to a bar on a Wednesday morning? 01:02:43.255 --> 01:02:45.505 It's an eclectic group. 01:02:45.588 --> 01:02:48.213 What are you having? 01:02:48.296 --> 01:02:50.088 I'll take a tetanus shot. 01:02:50.171 --> 01:02:52.088 - Jim Beam, two times. - Sure, Bill. 01:02:52.171 --> 01:02:54.213 I thought you and Desi had a deal. 01:02:54.296 --> 01:02:56.796 You don't drink at work. 01:02:56.880 --> 01:02:59.421 Desi and I have a deal that I won't be drunk at work. 01:02:59.505 --> 01:03:01.630 Have you ever seen me drunk at work? 01:03:01.713 --> 01:03:03.713 - Would I know? - No. 01:03:03.796 --> 01:03:04.963 Here's to your new baby. 01:03:05.046 --> 01:03:06.463 All right, then. 01:03:07.755 --> 01:03:09.921 Are they being polite or do they not recognize us? 01:03:10.005 --> 01:03:11.588 They don't own television sets. 01:03:13.088 --> 01:03:14.421 Why didn't I think of that? 01:03:14.505 --> 01:03:16.838 Honey, I read seven newspapers every day. 01:03:16.921 --> 01:03:18.838 Seven? When do you have time to do that? 01:03:18.921 --> 01:03:21.671 It's 30 minutes between races at Santa Anita, 01:03:21.755 --> 01:03:23.713 and it takes me a minute and a half to pick a horse. 01:03:23.796 --> 01:03:25.338 - Aren't you at work? - Yeah. 01:03:25.421 --> 01:03:28.296 We have bookies now and telephones. 01:03:28.380 --> 01:03:31.088 Know all about that. Did a Damon Runyon picture. 01:03:31.171 --> 01:03:33.005 In none of those seven newspapers 01:03:33.088 --> 01:03:36.963 have I read anything about Lucille Ball being a Communist. 01:03:38.421 --> 01:03:40.796 I don't hear anyone talking about it. 01:03:40.880 --> 01:03:42.463 Since when do you talk to anyone? 01:03:42.546 --> 01:03:44.963 I got news for you; the less you talk, the more things you hear, 01:03:45.046 --> 01:03:46.880 and I haven't heard anything. 01:03:46.963 --> 01:03:48.921 So… 01:03:49.005 --> 01:03:50.213 problems at home? 01:03:51.755 --> 01:03:53.421 Problems at home? 01:03:53.505 --> 01:03:55.546 - Yeah. - No. 01:03:55.630 --> 01:04:00.296 I'd like very much to have problems at home, but my problem's not home that much. 01:04:00.380 --> 01:04:01.463 Few times a week. 01:04:01.546 --> 01:04:02.713 He was playing cards on the boat Wednesday night. 01:04:02.796 --> 01:04:04.130 I know. 01:04:04.213 --> 01:04:05.463 The picture's six months old. 01:04:05.546 --> 01:04:07.963 I was there when it was taken. 01:04:08.046 --> 01:04:10.546 I'm saying, why wasn't he home, where I and our daughter were? 01:04:10.630 --> 01:04:14.880 Your husband is in love with America like no man I have ever known 01:04:14.963 --> 01:04:19.588 since George M. Cohan, who loved America so much he wrote the same song five times. 01:04:19.671 --> 01:04:20.713 Okay? 01:04:20.796 --> 01:04:24.213 Desi loves America as much as that guy. 01:04:24.296 --> 01:04:26.505 But that doesn't mean he's not Cuban. 01:04:26.588 --> 01:04:28.213 - I know that. - The world he's from 01:04:28.296 --> 01:04:30.921 has a very narrow definition of manhood. 01:04:31.005 --> 01:04:33.296 - I know that, too. - The man is the man. 01:04:33.380 --> 01:04:34.421 Mm-hmm. 01:04:34.505 --> 01:04:36.338 And not for nothing, but the women are happy. 01:04:36.421 --> 01:04:38.213 You've asked them? 01:04:38.296 --> 01:04:40.005 They look happy. 01:04:41.088 --> 01:04:42.505 I see. 01:04:44.088 --> 01:04:46.130 - But that's neither here nor there. - It really isn't. 01:04:46.213 --> 01:04:49.338 He's mesmerized by you, Lucille. 01:04:49.421 --> 01:04:52.505 And he misses you when you're in two different places. 01:04:52.588 --> 01:04:54.713 He does. I'm a witness. 01:04:54.796 --> 01:04:56.338 - He doesn't have to. - He… 01:04:56.421 --> 01:04:57.671 We live in the same house. 01:04:57.755 --> 01:04:59.630 He does have to. 01:04:59.713 --> 01:05:00.963 That's what I'm saying. 01:05:02.796 --> 01:05:07.088 He has to spend time away from you so that he can feel like he's not the… 01:05:07.171 --> 01:05:08.463 Second banana. 01:05:08.546 --> 01:05:11.171 I navigate male egos for a living, bud. 01:05:11.255 --> 01:05:13.338 Then why are you running the set? 01:05:13.421 --> 01:05:15.963 Why are you running rehearsals? 01:05:16.046 --> 01:05:17.671 You're doing it right in front of him. 01:05:17.755 --> 01:05:20.463 I can't prioritize the director's feelings over the health of the show. 01:05:20.546 --> 01:05:23.505 No, no, not– I couldn't care less about Donald's feelings if I tried hard. 01:05:23.588 --> 01:05:24.671 He's a hack. 01:05:24.755 --> 01:05:28.921 But we'll overcome that because, frankly, we're not doing Uncle Vanya. 01:05:30.296 --> 01:05:31.505 Got it. 01:05:31.588 --> 01:05:33.255 But the business at the dinner table has to be precise. 01:05:33.338 --> 01:05:35.088 Really? 01:05:35.171 --> 01:05:36.713 I was only in vaudeville 40 years, 01:05:36.796 --> 01:05:39.380 so I wouldn't know about these things of which you speak. 01:05:39.463 --> 01:05:40.505 I know you know. 01:05:40.588 --> 01:05:41.755 I'm just saying… 01:05:41.838 --> 01:05:44.630 You did it in front of Desi is my point. 01:05:45.838 --> 01:05:47.505 Let me tell you something about Desi. 01:05:47.588 --> 01:05:49.421 He runs this show. 01:05:50.505 --> 01:05:53.005 Every creative decision goes through him. 01:05:53.088 --> 01:05:56.088 Every business decision– the network, Philip Morris. 01:05:56.171 --> 01:05:58.921 And if that wasn't enough, he is camera-ready on Monday. 01:05:59.005 --> 01:06:02.546 Takes me five days to get a laugh. 01:06:02.630 --> 01:06:04.463 He's killing it at the table read. 01:06:06.546 --> 01:06:09.713 And that man, believe me, is nobody's second banana. 01:06:11.088 --> 01:06:12.671 How many people know that? 01:06:12.755 --> 01:06:14.046 Know what? 01:06:14.130 --> 01:06:16.463 That Desi runs the show. 01:06:16.546 --> 01:06:18.546 How many people know that? 01:06:23.255 --> 01:06:24.880 There was a minute there 01:06:24.963 --> 01:06:28.130 when Lucy was gonna be a serious actress. 01:06:28.213 --> 01:06:29.713 In serious movies. 01:06:29.796 --> 01:06:33.588 She was gonna compete for roles with Crawford, Hayworth. 01:06:35.213 --> 01:06:37.380 Might've been Lucy in All About Eve. 01:06:37.463 --> 01:06:41.046 And you know what? She'd have blown the doors off the place. 01:06:42.296 --> 01:06:44.880 It was almost like that. 01:06:44.963 --> 01:06:46.255 For a minute there. 01:06:46.338 --> 01:06:48.338 ♫ ♫ 01:06:55.671 --> 01:06:57.255 Desi! 01:07:01.713 --> 01:07:02.713 Desi! 01:07:04.213 --> 01:07:05.213 Lucy? 01:07:05.296 --> 01:07:06.421 What happened? 01:07:08.755 --> 01:07:10.255 Flat tire! 01:07:10.338 --> 01:07:11.963 Quarter of a mile back. 01:07:12.046 --> 01:07:14.130 And you abandoned the car there? 01:07:14.213 --> 01:07:16.671 - I sprinted the last 500 yards. - What's going on? 01:07:16.755 --> 01:07:19.171 Also you ran with a bottle of champagne in your hand? 01:07:19.255 --> 01:07:21.630 Bringing it… 01:07:22.880 --> 01:07:23.963 …more festive. 01:07:24.046 --> 01:07:25.046 I got it. 01:07:25.130 --> 01:07:26.588 I got the part. 01:07:26.671 --> 01:07:28.671 - Which part? - I got the part, Des. 01:07:28.755 --> 01:07:30.130 The Big Street. 01:07:30.213 --> 01:07:32.296 You said it was going to Rita Hayworth. 01:07:32.380 --> 01:07:33.796 Scheduling problems. 01:07:33.880 --> 01:07:35.463 Then they went to Judy Holliday. 01:07:35.546 --> 01:07:37.380 Scheduling problems. 01:07:37.463 --> 01:07:41.713 I got the female lead in The Big Street. 01:07:41.796 --> 01:07:43.963 That's tremendous. 01:07:44.963 --> 01:07:46.046 That's tremendous. 01:07:46.130 --> 01:07:49.005 I'm opposite Henry Fonda. 01:07:49.088 --> 01:07:51.880 But when does it start photography? 01:07:51.963 --> 01:07:52.963 Two weeks. 01:07:54.755 --> 01:07:56.921 I still can't catch my breath. 01:07:58.213 --> 01:08:00.213 - It's Damon Runyon. - I know! 01:08:00.296 --> 01:08:03.046 I know. I read the script, and I'm very, I'm very happy, Lucy, 01:08:03.130 --> 01:08:05.463 but I was looking forward to you coming out on tour. 01:08:07.255 --> 01:08:09.380 Rita Hayworth had scheduling problems. 01:08:09.463 --> 01:08:11.796 Mm, so did you. 01:08:11.880 --> 01:08:15.130 You don't think I want to be in the same city at the same time as my husband? 01:08:15.213 --> 01:08:16.713 - I know. I know. - What do I– 01:08:16.796 --> 01:08:18.963 Every decision I make is based on being near you. 01:08:19.046 --> 01:08:20.921 Every single decision. 01:08:21.005 --> 01:08:24.463 Well, yes, but obviously not every single decision. 01:08:24.546 --> 01:08:26.963 No? Hmm? 01:08:27.046 --> 01:08:29.505 You know how many years I've spent sticking my head into frame, 01:08:29.588 --> 01:08:31.421 saying something bitchy and going away? 01:08:31.505 --> 01:08:34.921 Crappy little roles in pictures I wouldn't pay a nickel to see 01:08:35.005 --> 01:08:37.921 if the theater had the only available air-conditioning. 01:08:38.005 --> 01:08:40.421 - Uh-huh. - If The Big Street is a hit, 01:08:40.505 --> 01:08:45.255 I'll be getting the roles that go to Rita and Judy and Bette. 01:08:45.338 --> 01:08:46.338 Which Judy? 01:08:46.421 --> 01:08:47.505 - Holliday. - Ah. 01:08:47.588 --> 01:08:49.296 Who's the baseball player that you talk about? 01:08:49.380 --> 01:08:52.505 The one who sat down and let Lou Gehrig start that streak. 01:08:52.588 --> 01:08:54.005 Oh, Wally Pipp. 01:08:54.088 --> 01:08:55.880 Gehrig was his understudy. 01:08:55.963 --> 01:08:58.421 - Backup. - And the guy took a rest one day. 01:08:58.505 --> 01:09:00.921 Gehrig came in, didn't come out for 40 years. 01:09:01.005 --> 01:09:02.421 14 years, and it was Wally Pipp. 01:09:02.505 --> 01:09:05.171 Okay, well, imagine if Wally Pipp had scheduling problems, 01:09:05.255 --> 01:09:09.838 Lou Gehrig, instead of grabbing his glove, toured with his husband's Latin orchestra. 01:09:09.921 --> 01:09:11.463 It would've changed the course of baseball. 01:09:11.546 --> 01:09:13.671 And the course of Latin music. 01:09:13.755 --> 01:09:15.546 Rita Hayworth is Wally Pipp. 01:09:15.630 --> 01:09:16.796 I'm Lou Gehrig. 01:09:16.880 --> 01:09:18.505 The Big Street is the Yankees. 01:09:18.588 --> 01:09:20.963 I understood the metaphor so long ago. 01:09:22.505 --> 01:09:25.088 You don't have to tour. You could stay in town. 01:09:26.505 --> 01:09:29.338 - And do what? - Sell out Ciro's every night. 01:09:29.421 --> 01:09:31.213 ♫ ♫ 01:09:31.296 --> 01:09:34.130 We're not a house band. 01:09:34.213 --> 01:09:36.421 I'd like to sell out New York. 01:09:36.505 --> 01:09:39.296 I'd like to sell out Chicago and Miami, too. 01:09:39.380 --> 01:09:41.213 - I know. - Hmm. 01:09:41.296 --> 01:09:42.963 Eight weeks. 01:09:43.046 --> 01:09:45.421 I'll come wherever you are on the weekends. 01:09:46.630 --> 01:09:48.713 So it'll be important that you not fall in love with someone else 01:09:48.796 --> 01:09:50.213 Mondays through Fridays. 01:09:50.296 --> 01:09:52.213 Agreed. 01:09:52.296 --> 01:09:53.963 Should we open the champagne, take our clothes off 01:09:54.046 --> 01:09:55.463 and go skinny-dipping in the pool? 01:09:55.546 --> 01:09:57.755 That bottle of champagne is basically a grenade now, 01:09:57.838 --> 01:09:59.588 but all your other ideas were good. 01:09:59.671 --> 01:10:02.880 Lucy, Lucy, Jesus. 01:10:02.963 --> 01:10:04.213 Wow. 01:10:04.296 --> 01:10:05.671 You're gonna be a movie star. 01:10:07.505 --> 01:10:09.713 You comfortable with that? 01:10:10.963 --> 01:10:13.463 Am I comfortable with that? 01:10:23.505 --> 01:10:25.546 That bottle has comic timing. 01:10:26.546 --> 01:10:28.546 ♫ ♫ 01:10:36.380 --> 01:10:38.755 I've been at the studio for almost ten years. 01:10:38.838 --> 01:10:40.505 I've never been in the president's office. 01:10:40.588 --> 01:10:43.713 Mr. Koerner isn't the president. He's the head of production. 01:10:44.796 --> 01:10:46.880 Second in command. 01:10:46.963 --> 01:10:48.588 Still higher than I've ever gotten. 01:10:51.213 --> 01:10:53.046 - Yes, sir. - Send her in. 01:10:53.130 --> 01:10:54.296 You can go on in. 01:10:59.671 --> 01:11:01.380 Lucille. 01:11:01.463 --> 01:11:03.630 - Charles Koerner. - Lucille Ball. 01:11:03.713 --> 01:11:05.421 You like Lucille or Lucy? 01:11:05.505 --> 01:11:07.130 Lucy's fine. I mean either's fine. 01:11:07.213 --> 01:11:08.755 - Lucy. - All right. 01:11:08.838 --> 01:11:10.713 And do I call you Charlie? 01:11:10.796 --> 01:11:12.796 Anyone as brilliant as you were in The Big Street 01:11:12.880 --> 01:11:14.588 can call me Betsy and I wouldn't care. 01:11:14.671 --> 01:11:16.255 Thank you. 01:11:16.338 --> 01:11:18.338 Please, sit. Sit here. 01:11:21.630 --> 01:11:23.213 Thank you. 01:11:24.421 --> 01:11:27.380 That was a whole new side of you we've never seen. 01:11:27.463 --> 01:11:28.630 Where's that been? 01:11:28.713 --> 01:11:30.880 It's been buried under bad movies. 01:11:30.963 --> 01:11:33.588 I've heard you make some form of that joke before. 01:11:33.671 --> 01:11:37.005 Keep putting me in pictures like The Big Street, you won't hear it again. 01:11:39.296 --> 01:11:41.380 We're dropping your contract, Lucy. 01:11:43.588 --> 01:11:45.588 - No, it-it's not a joke. - That was… 01:11:47.505 --> 01:11:50.005 RKO is dropping your contract. 01:11:52.296 --> 01:11:53.880 I don't understand. 01:11:55.005 --> 01:11:57.005 We don't have anything for you. 01:11:59.255 --> 01:12:01.463 But that… 01:12:06.088 --> 01:12:07.671 This is happening fast. 01:12:07.755 --> 01:12:08.921 The Big Street was a hit. 01:12:09.005 --> 01:12:10.588 It was a critical hit. 01:12:10.671 --> 01:12:12.630 I get that there wasn't a stampede to the box office, 01:12:12.713 --> 01:12:14.005 but you didn't lose money, did you? 01:12:14.088 --> 01:12:16.255 - No. - Do you understand the conditions 01:12:16.338 --> 01:12:18.588 under which this picture was finished? 01:12:18.671 --> 01:12:19.796 No, it has nothing to do with conditions… 01:12:19.880 --> 01:12:22.630 Damon Runyon left town before principal photography, 01:12:22.713 --> 01:12:25.796 our director joined the Army during postproduction, 01:12:25.880 --> 01:12:28.838 and our editor died. 01:12:28.921 --> 01:12:31.088 He just flat-out died. 01:12:31.171 --> 01:12:33.463 - There were a number of obstacles. - That's accurate. 01:12:33.546 --> 01:12:35.671 - Did you read the reviews? - They were very impressive. 01:12:35.755 --> 01:12:37.046 They were more than impressive. 01:12:37.130 --> 01:12:40.005 This has nothing to do with your performance in The Big Street. 01:12:40.088 --> 01:12:43.130 But it should have everything to do with my performance in The Big Street. 01:12:43.213 --> 01:12:47.671 I… I showed what I can do, and that's just the beginning of what I can do. 01:12:47.755 --> 01:12:49.463 That is just the beginning of it. 01:12:52.921 --> 01:12:54.671 Are you sure this isn't a joke? 01:12:54.755 --> 01:12:56.380 It's a tough business. 01:12:56.463 --> 01:12:57.505 I know that! 01:12:57.588 --> 01:12:59.671 I've been in it since I was 14! 01:12:59.755 --> 01:13:01.380 But you're 35 now. 01:13:03.421 --> 01:13:05.463 - And that is the problem? - No. 01:13:05.546 --> 01:13:08.630 The problem is you're really 39, aren't you? 01:13:10.046 --> 01:13:11.338 Hmm. 01:13:11.421 --> 01:13:15.005 39-year-olds don't go to see your movies? 01:13:16.088 --> 01:13:18.380 They don't want to see stories about themselves? 01:13:18.463 --> 01:13:22.505 You came through for us when Judy Holliday and Rita Hayworth were on other pictures, 01:13:22.588 --> 01:13:24.880 and we didn't want to lose Fonda. 01:13:24.963 --> 01:13:28.338 Now, this studio has a handshake understanding with Metro and Warner, 01:13:28.421 --> 01:13:31.088 and they'll loan us Holliday or Hayworth, 01:13:31.171 --> 01:13:35.505 so we just don't have enough for you to warrant keeping you under contract. 01:13:35.588 --> 01:13:38.546 Judy Holliday does one thing very well, but it's just one thing. 01:13:38.630 --> 01:13:40.338 I know how you're feeling right now. 01:13:40.421 --> 01:13:43.713 I've had to have this conversation a hundred times. 01:13:43.796 --> 01:13:46.421 I'm surprised because you're terrible at it. 01:13:47.880 --> 01:13:49.296 Can I make a suggestion? 01:13:50.880 --> 01:13:52.171 Radio. 01:13:53.796 --> 01:13:55.380 The hell did you just say to me? 01:13:55.463 --> 01:13:57.338 You've got the voice for it. 01:13:57.421 --> 01:13:59.838 Look, I've noticed there's a lot you can do with your voice. 01:13:59.921 --> 01:14:02.213 You should think about radio, Lucy. 01:14:05.546 --> 01:14:07.838 And you should go fuck yourself, Betsy. 01:14:07.921 --> 01:14:09.921 ♫ ♫ 01:14:27.921 --> 01:14:29.421 Lucy? 01:14:30.713 --> 01:14:32.421 What are you doing? 01:14:32.505 --> 01:14:34.630 I'm reading scripts. 01:14:36.171 --> 01:14:39.380 Oh, it's 3:00 in the morning. 01:14:39.463 --> 01:14:41.713 I know. 01:14:41.796 --> 01:14:43.588 I'm drunk, too. 01:14:44.588 --> 01:14:46.255 I know why you like drinking. 01:14:46.338 --> 01:14:49.088 I didn't get it till about two hours ago. 01:14:50.880 --> 01:14:52.880 You read any good movies? 01:14:52.963 --> 01:14:55.296 These are radio pilots. 01:14:55.380 --> 01:14:57.255 Oh, yeah? 01:14:57.338 --> 01:14:58.380 Yeah. 01:14:58.463 --> 01:15:01.630 There's nothing wrong with radio. 01:15:01.713 --> 01:15:02.963 I do it all the time. 01:15:03.046 --> 01:15:04.880 You're a bandleader. 01:15:17.088 --> 01:15:19.380 You know, Bataan was a hit, too. 01:15:20.546 --> 01:15:21.630 I didn't hear you. 01:15:21.713 --> 01:15:23.755 Bataan was a hit. 01:15:23.838 --> 01:15:26.213 I was good. 01:15:26.296 --> 01:15:29.046 The reviews were valentines, and I didn't bang a drum. 01:15:30.130 --> 01:15:32.255 It would have led to better parts, except I had to go to– 01:15:32.338 --> 01:15:34.171 what do you call it?– 01:15:34.255 --> 01:15:37.046 fight World War II. 01:15:39.421 --> 01:15:42.546 And now those crappy little parts in pictures you wouldn't pay a nickel to see 01:15:42.630 --> 01:15:45.713 - if it was the only available air-conditioning in the… -Des. 01:15:45.796 --> 01:15:47.796 I can't get them. 01:15:53.171 --> 01:15:55.171 ♫ ♫ 01:16:13.421 --> 01:16:15.588 Gee, honey, are you sure those bandages are fake? 01:16:15.671 --> 01:16:18.005 - Oh, yeah. - Are you sure you're all right? 01:16:18.088 --> 01:16:20.546 - Yeah, honey, I'm fine. - Oh, yeah– oh, let me help you. 01:16:20.630 --> 01:16:21.630 Oh. 01:16:21.713 --> 01:16:24.713 It's a good thing the Mertzes had their awning up. 01:16:24.796 --> 01:16:26.213 Oh, honey. 01:16:26.296 --> 01:16:28.588 It was all my fault. 01:16:28.671 --> 01:16:30.963 No, it was my fault, honey. 01:16:31.046 --> 01:16:32.255 Weren't we silly? 01:16:32.338 --> 01:16:34.005 Yes. We will never argue again. 01:16:34.088 --> 01:16:36.088 Ah, baby. 01:16:37.380 --> 01:16:40.463 - Lucy, are you okay?! - Yeah, I'm fine. 01:16:40.546 --> 01:16:41.963 - You sure? - I'm sure. 01:16:42.046 --> 01:16:43.505 Thank goodness you're all right. 01:16:43.588 --> 01:16:44.838 Why? What's the matter? 01:16:44.921 --> 01:16:47.130 When I told Ethel the whole gag was my idea, 01:16:47.213 --> 01:16:48.880 she got mad and went home to her mother. 01:16:48.963 --> 01:16:50.546 - Oh…! - Oh, no. 01:16:50.630 --> 01:16:52.255 And we cut. Good. 01:16:52.338 --> 01:16:53.546 Is that lunch? 01:16:53.630 --> 01:16:54.963 That's one hour for lunch! 01:16:55.046 --> 01:16:57.255 We'll do notes onstage after and go again. 01:16:57.338 --> 01:16:59.213 Uh, one quick thing. 01:16:59.296 --> 01:17:00.630 The table scene is getting good. 01:17:00.713 --> 01:17:01.713 Yeah, it's not. 01:17:01.796 --> 01:17:03.546 I wanted to circle back again and express 01:17:03.630 --> 01:17:06.463 my serious concern about Ricky's entrance at the top. 01:17:06.546 --> 01:17:09.213 I brought it up at the table read Monday. There haven't been new pages. 01:17:09.296 --> 01:17:11.088 - Because it's gonna work. - Hear me out. 01:17:11.171 --> 01:17:12.671 - Okay. - Right now, 01:17:12.755 --> 01:17:14.421 Lucy is trimming the flowers on the table. 01:17:14.505 --> 01:17:16.421 Ricky opens the door and comes in. 01:17:16.505 --> 01:17:18.171 We're gonna have to cut the flowers. 01:17:18.255 --> 01:17:21.005 I don't mean “cut the flowers.” I mean cut the flowers. 01:17:21.088 --> 01:17:23.838 I couldn't understand the difference between those two line readings. 01:17:23.921 --> 01:17:26.255 We're running long. We have to cut the bit with the flowers. 01:17:26.338 --> 01:17:27.463 How long? 01:17:27.546 --> 01:17:28.796 About a minute. 01:17:28.880 --> 01:17:31.130 All right, well, we'll get back to the flowers. 01:17:31.213 --> 01:17:33.546 The front door opens, Ricky comes in. 01:17:33.630 --> 01:17:35.338 Lucy doesn't see or hear him, which is unusual 01:17:35.421 --> 01:17:37.213 because the front door is, you know, 01:17:37.296 --> 01:17:38.588 - right there. - Mm-hmm. 01:17:38.671 --> 01:17:40.296 And in previous episodes, we've established 01:17:40.380 --> 01:17:42.255 Lucy's eyes and ears are connected to her brain. 01:17:42.338 --> 01:17:44.088 We-we buy the conceit. 01:17:44.171 --> 01:17:46.505 - I'm sorry? - We buy it. 01:17:46.588 --> 01:17:49.505 Lucy is so focused on making the table nice 01:17:49.588 --> 01:17:51.713 she doesn't even notice Ricky coming in the door. 01:17:51.796 --> 01:17:53.505 - Okay, I'll run with that. - Yeah. 01:17:53.588 --> 01:17:55.213 Ricky walks up to her quietly. 01:17:55.296 --> 01:17:57.796 He puts his hands over her eyes and says… 01:17:57.880 --> 01:17:59.505 “Guess who it is.” 01:17:59.588 --> 01:18:03.130 - And then Lucy says, “Bill? Sam? Pat? Ralph?” -Yeah. 01:18:03.213 --> 01:18:04.671 - She's teasing him. - Yes, she's teasing him. 01:18:04.755 --> 01:18:06.213 That's clear. Ricky responds… 01:18:06.296 --> 01:18:07.588 - “No.” - “No.” 01:18:07.671 --> 01:18:10.880 And the stage direction for Ricky says “burning.” 01:18:10.963 --> 01:18:11.963 “No!” 01:18:12.046 --> 01:18:13.338 He's upset. 01:18:13.421 --> 01:18:14.838 Lucy continues the teasing. 01:18:14.921 --> 01:18:16.755 “George? Julius? Stephen? Ivan?” 01:18:16.838 --> 01:18:18.338 - Yeah. - We changed that to 01:18:18.421 --> 01:18:19.713 “Pedro? Julio? Juan? Guillermo?” 01:18:19.796 --> 01:18:21.255 “Because those are Spanish names. 01:18:21.338 --> 01:18:23.713 “I mean Mexican. Cuban. Latin. 01:18:23.796 --> 01:18:25.213 “They're Brazilian names. 01:18:25.296 --> 01:18:27.380 Turkish.” - You done? 01:18:27.399 --> 01:18:28.296 - Yeah. - We're moving into a meal penalty. 01:18:28.380 --> 01:18:29.505 Yeah, okay. 01:18:29.588 --> 01:18:30.963 Lucy guesses some names. 01:18:31.046 --> 01:18:32.171 Yeah, teasingly. 01:18:32.255 --> 01:18:36.963 And the script indicates that Ricky takes his hands away from Lucy's eyes, 01:18:37.046 --> 01:18:38.546 turns her around and says… 01:18:38.630 --> 01:18:42.046 - “No, it's me.” - So my question again, Jess; 01:18:42.130 --> 01:18:46.421 Does Ricky honestly, truly believe that there might be eight different men 01:18:46.505 --> 01:18:51.755 who routinely walk into their apartment, all of whom sound exactly like Desi Arnaz? 01:18:52.838 --> 01:18:54.671 You think we're saying Ricky's stupid? 01:18:54.755 --> 01:18:56.630 I think you're saying the audience is. 01:18:56.713 --> 01:18:59.421 And that's something for which they won't soon forgive you. 01:18:59.505 --> 01:19:01.296 You charge for these lessons? 01:19:01.380 --> 01:19:02.421 A ton. 01:19:02.505 --> 01:19:05.880 For the sake of the joke, the audience will take the leap with us. 01:19:05.963 --> 01:19:08.838 They will, but you'll need a busload of orthopedists when they land. 01:19:08.921 --> 01:19:09.921 Jess. 01:19:10.005 --> 01:19:11.713 Let's talk about this after lunch, huh? 01:19:11.796 --> 01:19:13.671 - I have an idea. - I got a crew here, 01:19:13.755 --> 01:19:15.130 and we're about to run into a penalty, so… 01:19:15.213 --> 01:19:18.338 - Lucy is working on the flowers. - We're cutting the flowers for time. 01:19:18.421 --> 01:19:19.838 I don't mean literally cutting the flowers in the scene… 01:19:19.921 --> 01:19:21.588 I cannot go through that again. 01:19:21.671 --> 01:19:23.213 Ricky opens the door, comes in, 01:19:23.296 --> 01:19:26.421 shuts the door, as we've seen him do in 37 episodes. 01:19:26.505 --> 01:19:28.255 Lucy doesn't acknowledge him. 01:19:28.338 --> 01:19:30.046 - Uh, so far, you're describing the script. - Right. 01:19:30.130 --> 01:19:32.380 But instead of playing the hands-over-the-eyes guessing game, 01:19:32.463 --> 01:19:34.338 Ricky just stands there. 01:19:34.421 --> 01:19:37.838 He can't understand why Lucy doesn't notice he's home any more than we can. 01:19:37.921 --> 01:19:41.213 He stands there for a full beat, and then another, 01:19:41.296 --> 01:19:45.088 and then merrily, in a slightly exaggerated manner, 01:19:45.171 --> 01:19:48.213 as we've heard him do a hundred times, he says… 01:19:48.296 --> 01:19:50.255 “Lucy, I'm home!” 01:19:51.713 --> 01:19:53.713 For Ricky is funny. 01:19:53.796 --> 01:19:55.505 Hey, Luce? 01:19:55.588 --> 01:19:57.880 Let's talk about it after lunch. 01:19:59.546 --> 01:20:01.421 - Jim. - That's lunch! 01:20:01.505 --> 01:20:02.588 One hour! 01:20:02.671 --> 01:20:04.671 Back onstage for notes! 01:20:04.755 --> 01:20:06.505 All right, lunch! 01:20:10.463 --> 01:20:11.671 Hang on! 01:20:11.755 --> 01:20:13.463 Desi, does that work for you? 01:20:13.546 --> 01:20:15.171 Works perfect. 01:20:16.255 --> 01:20:18.255 We'll talk about it after lunch. 01:20:20.171 --> 01:20:22.046 It needed to be fixed. 01:20:22.130 --> 01:20:24.880 ♫ ♫ 01:20:32.338 --> 01:20:33.838 I think we can get more out of “hypocrite.” 01:20:33.921 --> 01:20:35.588 - Yeah. - Yeah? Like what? 01:20:35.671 --> 01:20:38.338 Like Lucy turns to Desi and says, 01:20:38.421 --> 01:20:40.713 “Well, it's nice to know I'm married to a hypocrite.” 01:20:40.796 --> 01:20:42.671 And Desi gets his back up and says… 01:20:42.755 --> 01:20:44.046 “Hypocrite?” 01:20:44.130 --> 01:20:46.380 Then turns to Fred and says, “What's a hypocrite?” 01:20:46.463 --> 01:20:48.755 Fred tells him, “It's a person who says one thing 01:20:48.838 --> 01:20:50.213 - but does another.” - Mm-hmm. 01:20:50.296 --> 01:20:52.546 Desi says, “Thank you,” turns back to Lucy and says… 01:20:52.630 --> 01:20:54.713 - “Oh, yeah?” - Yeah, that's good. That's good. 01:20:54.796 --> 01:20:56.505 Yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna pitch. 01:20:56.588 --> 01:20:58.546 - But I pitched it faster. - By interrupting me. 01:20:58.630 --> 01:21:00.171 How do you think I got to be a woman in a comedy room? 01:21:01.338 --> 01:21:02.838 Hey, is now a good time? 01:21:02.921 --> 01:21:04.088 Yeah. Madelyn had a good idea. 01:21:04.171 --> 01:21:07.838 Desi's entrance, we shoot it both ways and see which one gets the bigger laugh. 01:21:07.921 --> 01:21:09.213 That was my idea. 01:21:09.296 --> 01:21:10.838 It's a bad idea. 01:21:10.921 --> 01:21:12.255 Mm. It's just not your day. 01:21:12.338 --> 01:21:14.296 - Can I have a minute in your office? - Yeah. 01:21:14.380 --> 01:21:15.630 Sure. 01:21:15.713 --> 01:21:17.463 All right. 01:21:19.046 --> 01:21:21.421 What's wrong with shooting it both ways? 01:21:21.505 --> 01:21:23.880 You'll be on the floor during the show, right? 01:21:23.963 --> 01:21:25.463 I'll be where I always am. 01:21:25.546 --> 01:21:27.296 In full view of the audience? 01:21:27.380 --> 01:21:28.880 I suppose. 01:21:28.963 --> 01:21:30.380 Since we're doing it both ways, 01:21:30.463 --> 01:21:33.463 how about we do it once with your pants on and once with your pants off? 01:21:33.546 --> 01:21:35.463 - That's not the same. - It is. 01:21:35.546 --> 01:21:39.171 And I don't want to do the version with my pants off in front of 200 people. 01:21:39.255 --> 01:21:42.130 But that's not what I need to talk to you about. 01:21:42.213 --> 01:21:44.213 You're not gonna tell me you're pregnant again, are you? 01:21:44.296 --> 01:21:47.338 No. I'm still pregnant from before, but no. 01:21:47.421 --> 01:21:50.130 Jess, you know how much I value you. 01:21:50.213 --> 01:21:52.338 - I think I do. - You know you do. 01:21:52.421 --> 01:21:53.505 Okay. 01:21:53.588 --> 01:21:55.713 And you also know what it is Desi does around here. 01:21:55.796 --> 01:21:57.463 Sure. 01:21:57.546 --> 01:22:00.130 - I mean, every business decision goes through Desi. -Mm-hmm. 01:22:00.213 --> 01:22:03.213 In fact, most business decisions are made by Desi. 01:22:03.296 --> 01:22:06.088 - You married a very bright man. - I did. 01:22:06.171 --> 01:22:08.463 He makes a lot of creative decisions, too. 01:22:08.546 --> 01:22:10.505 Mm. I'm not sure I'd say a lot. 01:22:10.588 --> 01:22:11.796 I would. I'd say a lot. 01:22:11.880 --> 01:22:13.630 He devised the camera system that we use. 01:22:13.713 --> 01:22:16.630 He's the reason the East Coast doesn't see the show on a foggy kinescope. 01:22:16.713 --> 01:22:18.588 - Yeah. - And even though we use three cameras, 01:22:18.671 --> 01:22:20.921 the studio audience can see every scene. 01:22:21.005 --> 01:22:22.921 - That's him, too. - Mm-hmm. 01:22:23.005 --> 01:22:24.505 And the four of us, the cast, we can see the audience. 01:22:24.588 --> 01:22:25.713 I give him a lot of credit for that. 01:22:25.796 --> 01:22:29.171 He's the one who thought up Lucy being pregnant on the show. 01:22:30.255 --> 01:22:32.796 That is never gonna happen, 'cause no matter what CBS says, 01:22:32.880 --> 01:22:34.130 Philip Morris is never gonna let it happen. 01:22:34.213 --> 01:22:36.130 But, like I said, I give him credit. 01:22:36.213 --> 01:22:38.713 That's the thing, though. You don't. 01:22:38.796 --> 01:22:39.963 What do you mean? 01:22:40.046 --> 01:22:42.296 He doesn't get credit as an executive producer, 01:22:42.380 --> 01:22:44.755 which, let's face it, is what he is. 01:22:44.838 --> 01:22:47.130 You get sole credit. 01:22:47.213 --> 01:22:49.713 I didn't win my credit in a raffle! I earn it. 01:22:49.796 --> 01:22:52.630 I'm the showrunner! Not to mention being the creator of the show. 01:22:52.713 --> 01:22:54.838 I don't see how we could do the show without you. 01:22:54.921 --> 01:22:56.088 You absolutely could not. 01:22:56.171 --> 01:22:59.005 I don't see how we could do the show without Desi either. 01:22:59.088 --> 01:23:02.088 Because he plays Ricky, which he does get a screen credit for. 01:23:02.171 --> 01:23:03.630 - Jess… -Is this something our agents should be talking about? 01:23:03.713 --> 01:23:06.046 - No. -'Cause I'm not at all comfortable with this conversation. 01:23:06.130 --> 01:23:08.380 I'm about to make you less comfortable. 01:23:09.421 --> 01:23:11.671 I need you to help me save my marriage. 01:23:11.755 --> 01:23:14.171 ♫ ♫ 01:23:14.255 --> 01:23:17.088 I need you to help me save my marriage. 01:23:25.088 --> 01:23:27.546 What do you think they're talking about in there? 01:23:27.630 --> 01:23:30.380 I think they're talking about you. 01:23:30.463 --> 01:23:33.296 I think they want to pay you less because you're not as funny as I am. 01:23:33.380 --> 01:23:35.796 Mary Pat, would you mind asking Desi if I can come see him? 01:23:35.880 --> 01:23:37.296 Sure. 01:23:39.171 --> 01:23:40.505 Madelyn? 01:23:40.588 --> 01:23:41.588 Yeah. 01:23:48.296 --> 01:23:50.838 - Was everything all right in there? - Yeah. 01:23:50.921 --> 01:23:52.005 - So, listen. - Mm-hmm. 01:23:52.088 --> 01:23:55.046 It has to be coherent, because if it's anything goes, then nothing's funny. 01:23:55.130 --> 01:23:57.838 - Anything Goes was a hit. - Not Cole Porter's Anything Goes. 01:23:57.921 --> 01:23:59.755 - I mean if an… - I know. 01:23:59.838 --> 01:24:01.755 - Why are you telling me? - The opening, 01:24:01.838 --> 01:24:04.630 Ricky's entrance with his hands over my eyes, that was Jess, right? 01:24:06.588 --> 01:24:11.046 Outside of that room, we make it a point not to talk about who wrote what. 01:24:11.130 --> 01:24:12.713 It wasn't Jess? 01:24:12.796 --> 01:24:13.838 Again… 01:24:13.921 --> 01:24:15.255 You know I'm right about the logic. 01:24:15.338 --> 01:24:19.171 Why aren't you backing me up instead of endorsing a plan to shoot it both ways? 01:24:19.255 --> 01:24:22.296 Listen, why don't we get together for a drink or a swim this weekend, 01:24:22.380 --> 01:24:23.921 and we can put it on the agenda? 01:24:24.005 --> 01:24:27.421 Because the show is tomorrow and I'm fine talking about it now. 01:24:27.505 --> 01:24:30.171 By all means, let's unnecessarily add more to what you're worried about this week. 01:24:30.255 --> 01:24:32.505 - I'm not worried! I'm… - Shh. 01:24:32.588 --> 01:24:33.796 I'm not worried. 01:24:33.880 --> 01:24:36.671 I'm saying I count on you to be the firewall, to be– 01:24:36.755 --> 01:24:40.505 to-to make sure– just– logic, okay? 01:24:40.588 --> 01:24:42.838 I won't say who wrote what, but I can tell you 01:24:42.921 --> 01:24:45.005 that I'm the lady in there trying to make Lucy smarter. 01:24:45.088 --> 01:24:46.171 Excuse me? 01:24:46.255 --> 01:24:48.796 I'm the one trying, every week, to… 01:24:48.880 --> 01:24:50.588 Lucy's dumb? 01:24:50.671 --> 01:24:51.880 I didn't say that. 01:24:51.963 --> 01:24:54.213 You're trying… 01:24:54.296 --> 01:24:58.130 struggling, it sounds like– to make Lucy smarter? 01:24:58.213 --> 01:25:00.546 I created this character with you. 01:25:00.630 --> 01:25:02.421 And she needs to be smarter? 01:25:02.505 --> 01:25:07.171 She sometimes, for the sake of comedy, is infantilized. 01:25:08.463 --> 01:25:10.671 This is a crazy week, 01:25:10.755 --> 01:25:12.796 time and place to be having this conversation. 01:25:12.880 --> 01:25:15.130 - This is important… - How is she infantilized? 01:25:15.213 --> 01:25:16.755 She literally says, “Waah.” 01:25:16.838 --> 01:25:18.755 'Cause when she does, 60 million people laugh, 01:25:18.838 --> 01:25:22.130 just like with Lou Costello and Stan Laurel, and you get paid. 01:25:22.213 --> 01:25:25.046 When those two grown men play slow-witted five-year-olds, I cringe. 01:25:25.130 --> 01:25:26.880 Then I question your comedy IQ. 01:25:26.963 --> 01:25:28.380 No, you don't. 01:25:28.463 --> 01:25:29.755 You think I'm the funniest writer in the room, 01:25:29.838 --> 01:25:32.255 and that's why you're talking to me and not Jess. 01:25:35.671 --> 01:25:37.338 Many people regard Lucy as clever. 01:25:37.421 --> 01:25:39.630 I mean, she always has a plan to overcome an obstacle. 01:25:39.713 --> 01:25:43.380 Yeah, but oftentimes that obstacle is her husband's permission. 01:25:43.463 --> 01:25:47.963 You really think, this week, right now, is the best time to talk about this? 01:25:48.046 --> 01:25:51.630 No! I literally said that 30 seconds ago. 01:25:52.630 --> 01:25:54.546 Look… 01:25:54.630 --> 01:25:58.213 it's just a female perspective from another generation. 01:25:58.296 --> 01:26:00.088 Another generation? 01:26:00.171 --> 01:26:02.005 Ah, you're on a roll. 01:26:02.088 --> 01:26:04.921 Bette Davis, Bacall, Hepburn. 01:26:05.005 --> 01:26:06.338 - Funny women. - Judy Holliday. 01:26:06.421 --> 01:26:08.046 Judy Holliday? Go to hell. 01:26:08.130 --> 01:26:09.630 They are funny women. 01:26:09.713 --> 01:26:12.213 And they're smart and tough and they outsmart the men. 01:26:12.296 --> 01:26:13.671 So why do you and Gracie Allen feel like you have to… 01:26:13.755 --> 01:26:15.255 Oh, stop. Okay. 01:26:15.338 --> 01:26:16.505 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 01:26:16.588 --> 01:26:18.463 Maddie, I love you. 01:26:18.546 --> 01:26:19.921 You're like, I guess, 01:26:20.005 --> 01:26:22.588 - a great-granddaughter to me from another generation. -Hmm. 01:26:22.671 --> 01:26:25.213 And my fervent wish for you is that, one day, 01:26:25.296 --> 01:26:26.796 you will be half as funny as Gracie Allen. 01:26:26.880 --> 01:26:31.171 In the meantime, please remember that Lucy and Ricky and Fred and Ethel, 01:26:31.255 --> 01:26:34.005 if they live past tomorrow, have to live in a reality 01:26:34.088 --> 01:26:36.463 that accepts the physical laws of the universe. 01:26:36.546 --> 01:26:38.213 Ricky knows that Lucy doesn't believe 01:26:38.296 --> 01:26:40.796 there are possibly eight other men in the apartment! 01:26:40.880 --> 01:26:42.088 Understood. 01:26:43.546 --> 01:26:45.088 But I don't make that decision. 01:26:46.463 --> 01:26:48.171 Let's go! 01:26:53.421 --> 01:26:54.921 Mary Pat, cut the flowers. 01:26:55.005 --> 01:26:56.505 And to be clear, by “cut the flowers,” I mean… 01:26:56.588 --> 01:26:59.005 - She knows exactly what you mean. - Yeah, let's go. 01:27:00.755 --> 01:27:02.463 Judy Holliday. 01:27:03.505 --> 01:27:04.838 This isn't happening. 01:27:04.921 --> 01:27:06.380 ♫ ♫ 01:27:11.630 --> 01:27:14.255 Mr. Arnaz? 01:27:14.338 --> 01:27:16.005 Come in. 01:27:16.088 --> 01:27:18.755 Mr. Oppenheimer is here to see you with Mr. Carroll and Miss Pugh. 01:27:18.838 --> 01:27:21.338 Uh, nothing from Mr. Lyons yet? 01:27:21.421 --> 01:27:22.380 No. 01:27:23.713 --> 01:27:25.296 Anyone at Philip Morris? 01:27:25.380 --> 01:27:26.713 No. 01:27:31.838 --> 01:27:33.755 Gracias. 01:27:33.838 --> 01:27:36.171 Acompáñame al escenario. 01:27:36.255 --> 01:27:38.088 Walk me to the stage. We're an hour behind. 01:27:38.171 --> 01:27:40.046 Okay, Madelyn's got a new joke for the second act. 01:27:40.130 --> 01:27:42.880 I just this minute told Lucy that we don't talk about who wrote what. 01:27:42.963 --> 01:27:45.005 Madelyn came up with the joke just seconds after I did. 01:27:45.088 --> 01:27:47.796 Isn't it possible that two comedy writers working on the same script 01:27:47.880 --> 01:27:49.255 came up with the same joke at the same time? 01:27:49.338 --> 01:27:50.421 - It's possible. - Thank you. 01:27:50.505 --> 01:27:52.713 - Just not what happened. - Do I need to be here for any of this? 01:27:52.796 --> 01:27:55.005 Uh, “Hypocrite? What's a hypocrite?” 01:27:55.088 --> 01:27:57.796 - So that's to Fred. - Got it. Good. 01:27:57.880 --> 01:27:59.338 - Is that what you wanted me for? - Okay, no, no, no, no, no. 01:27:59.421 --> 01:28:01.963 The hypocrite joke is for episode nine. That's the script we're working on, okay? 01:28:02.046 --> 01:28:03.963 If Lucy's gonna be pregnant– Lucy Ricardo– 01:28:04.046 --> 01:28:06.380 then we have to introduce it in nine, according to your timetable. 01:28:06.463 --> 01:28:09.546 - Yeah. -So I just want to confirm that there's no chance we're doing that, right? 01:28:09.630 --> 01:28:11.338 We are doing that. 01:28:11.421 --> 01:28:13.171 You know Philip Morris won't let us. 01:28:13.255 --> 01:28:15.380 And-and even if they did, we don't want to see this girl pregnant. 01:28:15.463 --> 01:28:16.588 We don't want to know that she's pregnant. 01:28:16.671 --> 01:28:17.838 We don't want to know how she got pregnant. 01:28:17.921 --> 01:28:20.838 Do we have viewers who don't know how women get pregnant? 01:28:20.921 --> 01:28:22.421 Yeah, they're called children. 01:28:22.505 --> 01:28:25.380 Uh, do any of these children have younger brothers or sisters? 01:28:25.463 --> 01:28:28.213 You know what, you know what else a lot of our viewers are? Christian. 01:28:28.296 --> 01:28:30.088 Ah, I'm way ahead of you. 01:28:30.171 --> 01:28:35.713 I'm going to have a priest, a minister and a rabbi review every script. 01:28:35.796 --> 01:28:37.921 I'm gonna get rewritten by a priest, a minister and a rabbi? 01:28:38.005 --> 01:28:39.671 - Mm-hmm. - A joke in there somewhere. 01:28:39.755 --> 01:28:41.921 Good, because if I'm rewritten by a priest, a minister and a rabbi, 01:28:42.005 --> 01:28:43.213 there aren't gonna be many left in the script. 01:28:43.296 --> 01:28:44.546 - Good one. - Uh, Des… 01:28:44.630 --> 01:28:46.088 No, no, e-enough. Enough. 01:28:46.171 --> 01:28:48.088 I sent a telegram to Alfred Lyons. 01:28:48.171 --> 01:28:49.296 - You did. - Yes. 01:28:49.380 --> 01:28:50.796 And I've put the decision in his hands. 01:28:50.880 --> 01:28:52.838 - Okay. Okay. - All right. 01:28:52.921 --> 01:28:54.255 Okay, good. 01:28:54.338 --> 01:28:57.005 - You're that sure he's gonna say no, huh? - I am. 01:28:57.088 --> 01:28:59.088 - That it? Okay. - Mm-hmm. -Yeah. 01:28:59.171 --> 01:29:02.338 Oh, Bob, Bob, tell Desi that thing you were saying before. 01:29:03.421 --> 01:29:04.505 Me? 01:29:04.588 --> 01:29:06.630 Yeah. 01:29:06.713 --> 01:29:08.338 - Really? - Guys. 01:29:08.421 --> 01:29:09.963 No, it was interesting. 01:29:10.046 --> 01:29:11.671 - Bob was saying that you… - Hmm? 01:29:11.755 --> 01:29:13.796 …are really the title character of the show. 01:29:13.880 --> 01:29:17.713 Because you are the “I” in I Love Lucy. 01:29:18.921 --> 01:29:20.380 Mm-hmm. 01:29:20.463 --> 01:29:21.880 So strictly speaking, you have top billing. 01:29:22.963 --> 01:29:25.255 I am the “I” in I Love Lucy. 01:29:25.338 --> 01:29:27.296 Yeah. 01:29:27.380 --> 01:29:28.880 I never thought of it that way. 01:29:28.963 --> 01:29:30.921 - Yeah, you like that? - I like that. 01:29:31.005 --> 01:29:32.005 Yeah. 01:29:32.088 --> 01:29:33.880 Jess… 01:29:33.963 --> 01:29:37.338 patronize me again, and I'll stick my hand down your throat 01:29:37.421 --> 01:29:39.963 and pull your fucking lungs out. 01:29:40.046 --> 01:29:41.796 - Look… - Excuse me. 01:29:41.880 --> 01:29:42.880 What is it? 01:29:42.963 --> 01:29:44.671 It-It's a telegram for Mr. Arnaz. 01:29:44.755 --> 01:29:47.421 - It's from Mr. Lyons and Philip Morris. - Mm. 01:29:48.838 --> 01:29:50.838 - Vamos a ver. - Yeah. 01:29:54.880 --> 01:29:56.046 Let's go, please. 01:29:56.130 --> 01:29:58.171 - We are an hour behind. - Yeah. 01:30:03.838 --> 01:30:05.671 What does it say? 01:30:06.755 --> 01:30:09.796 “To all Philip Morris and CBS employees; 01:30:11.046 --> 01:30:13.171 Don't fuck with the Cuban.” 01:30:19.921 --> 01:30:22.630 “He didn't come home and he hasn't called. 01:30:22.713 --> 01:30:25.921 Not that it makes any difference to me.” 01:30:26.005 --> 01:30:28.713 “Oh, I can see that it doesn't make any difference to you. 01:30:28.796 --> 01:30:31.755 Why don't you call Ricky and tell him you're sorry?” 01:30:31.838 --> 01:30:35.130 “What? You think I'd allow my pride…” Hmm. 01:30:35.213 --> 01:30:38.421 “Do you think I'd swallow my pride like that?” 01:30:38.505 --> 01:30:39.505 Never. 01:30:41.130 --> 01:30:42.338 What are you doing up? 01:30:42.421 --> 01:30:45.213 I woke up and you weren't there. 01:30:45.296 --> 01:30:49.296 So I went to the nursery to see if everything was okay, and… 01:30:49.380 --> 01:30:51.421 she kicked her blanket off, so I fixed it. 01:30:51.505 --> 01:30:53.421 That woke her up. 01:30:53.505 --> 01:30:56.130 But as you can see, I got her back to sleep. 01:30:57.921 --> 01:31:00.796 You know we pay a housekeeper to do the laundry, right? 01:31:01.880 --> 01:31:04.380 I like doing laundry. I never get the chance. 01:31:05.463 --> 01:31:08.171 Okay, I'm going to put her back in her little apartment now. 01:31:09.255 --> 01:31:10.421 You should come back to bed. 01:31:10.505 --> 01:31:11.713 I will. 01:31:17.796 --> 01:31:20.421 “Do you think I'd call him and go crawling back?” 01:31:20.505 --> 01:31:23.088 “What? Do you think I'd swallow my pride?” 01:31:23.171 --> 01:31:26.796 “Do you think I'd call and go crawling…” 01:31:30.588 --> 01:31:33.380 ♫ ♫ 01:31:35.630 --> 01:31:39.671 “What? Do you think I'd swallow my pride like that?” 01:31:56.546 --> 01:31:58.546 ♫ ♫ 01:32:23.005 --> 01:32:25.005 ♫ ♫ 01:32:50.005 --> 01:32:52.005 ♫ ♫ 01:33:05.338 --> 01:33:07.213 - Lucy? - Over here. 01:33:07.296 --> 01:33:08.755 Thanks, Bobby. 01:33:08.838 --> 01:33:10.505 You got it, Bill. 01:33:10.588 --> 01:33:12.130 What the hell? 01:33:12.213 --> 01:33:14.130 Thanks for coming down. 01:33:15.213 --> 01:33:18.088 - It's 2:00 in the morning. - Sorry about that. 01:33:20.546 --> 01:33:21.546 Kid, what's going on? 01:33:21.630 --> 01:33:23.880 I'm gonna restage the dinner scene. 01:33:23.963 --> 01:33:26.296 Let's go to my dressing room and call Desi. 01:33:26.380 --> 01:33:29.171 No, Desi's at home with the baby. We can do this. 01:33:29.255 --> 01:33:31.255 - Does he know you're here? - He's sleeping. 01:33:31.338 --> 01:33:33.130 Let me take you home. 01:33:34.130 --> 01:33:36.421 - Is that him? - That's Viv. 01:33:36.505 --> 01:33:38.588 You called her, too? 01:33:38.671 --> 01:33:41.755 I'm restaging the dinner scene. 01:33:41.838 --> 01:33:43.755 This isn't for beginners, you know. This isn't school. 01:33:43.838 --> 01:33:45.546 I don't hire the directors. 01:33:45.630 --> 01:33:47.963 I know. I'm just saying. 01:33:48.046 --> 01:33:50.880 - What's happening here? - Thanks for coming, Viv. 01:33:50.963 --> 01:33:53.088 - Is everything all right? - The three of us 01:33:53.171 --> 01:33:55.213 are on an empty soundstage at 2:00 in the morning, 01:33:55.296 --> 01:33:57.546 she's drunk, I'm not. 01:33:57.630 --> 01:33:59.463 So, yeah, everything's great. Why do you ask? 01:33:59.546 --> 01:34:01.463 Your call just said to come to the stage, that it was an emergency. 01:34:01.546 --> 01:34:03.338 - So I… - We need to re-block the dinner scene. 01:34:03.421 --> 01:34:05.338 It's not gonna take long. 01:34:05.421 --> 01:34:06.838 - What? - You heard her right. 01:34:06.921 --> 01:34:10.296 It won't take long. We just need to make an adjustment. 01:34:11.630 --> 01:34:15.338 Two people who are fighting have to share a seat at a dinner table. 01:34:15.421 --> 01:34:21.171 First thing, we take this, move it upstage so the camera can see you. 01:34:21.255 --> 01:34:24.880 Now, this can't just be a mishmash of pushing. 01:34:24.963 --> 01:34:27.171 Can't just be a scrum. 01:34:27.255 --> 01:34:29.005 Each move has to be articulate. 01:34:29.088 --> 01:34:31.421 So Ethel elbows Fred. 01:34:31.505 --> 01:34:32.505 Elbow him. 01:34:34.005 --> 01:34:36.171 Fred elbows Ethel a little harder. 01:34:36.255 --> 01:34:37.255 Ow! 01:34:37.338 --> 01:34:39.713 Ethel elbows Fred harder. 01:34:39.796 --> 01:34:41.213 - Hey! - Then Fred. 01:34:42.380 --> 01:34:44.588 Now hit each other at the same time and fall off the chair. 01:34:47.921 --> 01:34:48.880 That's that. 01:34:48.963 --> 01:34:52.588 Let's run it a couple of times at speed. Hmm? 01:34:53.588 --> 01:34:54.755 Did something happen? 01:34:54.838 --> 01:34:56.921 - I'm sorry? - At home. 01:34:57.005 --> 01:34:59.255 - Did something just happen? - Uh… 01:34:59.338 --> 01:35:01.713 No. I was, um… 01:35:03.713 --> 01:35:05.505 No. 01:35:05.588 --> 01:35:07.588 I was doing some laundry and… 01:35:07.671 --> 01:35:09.171 No. 01:35:11.921 --> 01:35:13.921 Yeah. Yeah. 01:35:14.005 --> 01:35:15.338 I wanted to fix this beat. 01:35:15.421 --> 01:35:18.005 I… I couldn't sleep. 01:35:23.296 --> 01:35:26.796 It's like when you're not sure if you've left the oven unlocked. 01:35:26.880 --> 01:35:28.380 Door unlocked. Nothing. 01:35:28.463 --> 01:35:29.463 I wanted to fix this beat. 01:35:29.546 --> 01:35:31.380 Let's do it again. 01:35:37.088 --> 01:35:40.213 You know I did this show so Desi and I could be together? 01:35:40.296 --> 01:35:42.046 ♫ ♫ 01:35:42.130 --> 01:35:44.505 I had no idea it was gonna be a hit. 01:35:47.213 --> 01:35:49.171 I just thought, “Well, the construction department's gonna 01:35:49.255 --> 01:35:52.213 build us a little apartment, and that's where we'll live most of the time.” 01:35:52.296 --> 01:35:53.963 You know? 01:35:57.546 --> 01:35:59.421 And it worked out. 01:35:59.505 --> 01:36:01.255 This is where… 01:36:08.255 --> 01:36:10.796 It's like a story you'd read a little girl. 01:36:11.880 --> 01:36:13.880 A witch puts a curse on a woman. 01:36:13.963 --> 01:36:17.130 She'll be adored by the man she loves, 01:36:17.213 --> 01:36:20.546 but only as long as she stays on this… 01:36:20.630 --> 01:36:22.255 Patch of ground. 01:36:26.046 --> 01:36:29.171 It's still a lot more than most people get. 01:36:34.505 --> 01:36:35.713 Let's run it at speed. 01:36:38.213 --> 01:36:39.671 I'm gonna drive you home. 01:36:39.755 --> 01:36:42.255 - Let me take… - I am the biggest asset 01:36:42.338 --> 01:36:45.380 in the portfolio of the Columbia Broadcasting System, 01:36:45.463 --> 01:36:51.088 the biggest asset in the portfolio of Philip Morris tobacco, Westinghouse. 01:36:51.171 --> 01:36:54.838 I get paid a fortune to do exactly what I love doing. 01:36:54.921 --> 01:36:59.963 I work side by side with my husband, who is genuinely impressed by me. 01:37:00.046 --> 01:37:04.046 And all I have to do to keep it is kill every week for 36 weeks in a row, 01:37:04.130 --> 01:37:07.296 and then do it again the next year. 01:37:07.380 --> 01:37:09.838 Kill. 01:37:09.921 --> 01:37:12.630 So let's do it again. 01:37:12.713 --> 01:37:14.713 ♫ ♫ 01:37:23.088 --> 01:37:25.338 After RKO dropped Lucy's contract, 01:37:25.421 --> 01:37:28.255 MGM had her in for a Technicolor test, 01:37:28.338 --> 01:37:33.963 which she didn't know yet would be one of the most important moments in her life. 01:37:34.046 --> 01:37:38.838 A man named Sydney Guilaroff was Metro's chief hair stylist. 01:37:38.921 --> 01:37:43.838 Looked at Lucy and said, “The hair is brown but the soul is on fire.” 01:37:45.338 --> 01:37:47.005 He dyed her hair a new color. 01:37:47.088 --> 01:37:48.380 Quiet, please. 01:37:50.505 --> 01:37:53.713 It's time for My Favorite Husband, starring Lucille Ball. 01:37:54.921 --> 01:37:56.921 Jell-O, everybody! 01:38:00.505 --> 01:38:02.505 Yes, it's the gay family series, 01:38:02.588 --> 01:38:04.671 starring Lucille Ball with Richard Denning, 01:38:04.755 --> 01:38:07.713 transcribed and brought to you by the Jell-O family of desserts. 01:38:07.796 --> 01:38:10.296 ♫ J-E-L-L-Oh! ♫ 01:38:10.380 --> 01:38:14.046 ♫ The big red letters stand for the Jell-O family ♫ 01:38:14.130 --> 01:38:18.130 ♫ Oh, the big red letters stand for the Jell-O family ♫ 01:38:18.213 --> 01:38:19.671 - ♫ That's Jell-O ♫ - ♫ Yum, yum, yum ♫ 01:38:19.755 --> 01:38:21.755 - ♫ Jell-O puddings ♫ - ♫ Yum, yum, yum. ♫ 01:38:23.213 --> 01:38:25.338 And now, Lucille Ball with Richard Denning 01:38:25.421 --> 01:38:29.296 as Liz and George Cooper, two people who live together and like it. 01:38:29.380 --> 01:38:30.963 As we look in on the Coopers, 01:38:31.046 --> 01:38:33.505 it's a beautiful spring day and Liz is just going to the kitchen 01:38:33.588 --> 01:38:35.213 to talk to Katy, the maid. 01:38:35.296 --> 01:38:38.130 - Oh, Katy? - Yes, Mrs. Cooper? 01:38:38.213 --> 01:38:40.463 Katy, I've got some good news for you. 01:38:40.546 --> 01:38:42.130 - Uh-oh. - “Uh-oh”? 01:38:42.213 --> 01:38:43.463 What do you mean, “Uh-oh”? 01:38:43.546 --> 01:38:46.630 I say I've got some good news and you say, “Uh-oh”? 01:38:48.588 --> 01:38:54.005 Every time you say you've got good news, it's usually good for you and bad for me. 01:38:54.088 --> 01:38:56.921 Oh, well… 01:38:57.005 --> 01:38:59.130 that's a little true. 01:39:04.546 --> 01:39:05.963 Lucy? 01:39:06.046 --> 01:39:07.713 Come on in. 01:39:09.963 --> 01:39:11.630 That was a good show. 01:39:11.713 --> 01:39:12.963 Yeah, I thought so, too. 01:39:13.046 --> 01:39:15.005 Pass it on to Maddie and Bob, would you? 01:39:15.088 --> 01:39:18.005 Mm-hmm. I've, uh, I got two gentlemen out here who'd like to meet you, 01:39:18.088 --> 01:39:20.421 and you're gonna want to hear what they have to say. 01:39:20.505 --> 01:39:22.546 Does it need to sound ominous? Can't they just come in? 01:39:24.171 --> 01:39:25.630 Yeah. Please, come in. 01:39:28.588 --> 01:39:30.713 - Lucille Ball. - Yes, sir. 01:39:30.796 --> 01:39:33.505 David Levy, head of comedy development, CBS. 01:39:33.588 --> 01:39:35.088 David Hart, head of current programming, CBS. 01:39:35.171 --> 01:39:38.130 Well, David and David, 01:39:38.213 --> 01:39:41.255 I've been in a current comedy at CBS and I've never heard of either of you. 01:39:41.338 --> 01:39:43.171 CBS Television. 01:39:43.255 --> 01:39:45.296 CBS does television? 01:39:45.380 --> 01:39:48.338 - Yeah. Edward R. Murrow is one of our t… - I was kidding. 01:39:48.421 --> 01:39:49.463 - Understood. - That was funny. 01:39:49.546 --> 01:39:50.796 Thank you. 01:39:50.880 --> 01:39:53.296 These, uh, these men have an interesting idea. 01:39:53.380 --> 01:39:55.755 Lucy, we've been here to the show a few times now. 01:39:55.838 --> 01:39:58.880 We noticed that when you do the show, you use gestures and expressions. 01:39:58.963 --> 01:40:00.130 You mean the acting? 01:40:00.213 --> 01:40:01.213 Yeah. 01:40:01.296 --> 01:40:04.588 My face, my body, my voice, that's all I get to work with. 01:40:04.671 --> 01:40:06.755 It's just unusual because it's radio. 01:40:06.838 --> 01:40:07.838 I watched Jack Benny. 01:40:07.921 --> 01:40:10.546 He plays it for the studio audience. 01:40:10.630 --> 01:40:12.213 It works pretty well for him. 01:40:12.296 --> 01:40:13.380 It does. 01:40:13.463 --> 01:40:15.713 And it works pretty well for you, too. Very well. 01:40:15.796 --> 01:40:18.755 And we think it's a shame that no one gets to see it. 01:40:18.838 --> 01:40:20.838 Invent a way to see what's on the radio. 01:40:20.921 --> 01:40:23.088 We did. It's television. 01:40:23.171 --> 01:40:25.838 - Are you here to sell me one? - Lucy. 01:40:25.921 --> 01:40:29.588 They want to put My Favorite Husband on TV. 01:40:31.046 --> 01:40:33.046 ♫ ♫ 01:40:36.713 --> 01:40:38.338 I'm very interested. 01:40:38.421 --> 01:40:39.880 That's great. 01:40:39.963 --> 01:40:42.588 Is it too early to raise a glass? 01:40:42.671 --> 01:40:44.213 To My Favorite Husband. 01:40:44.296 --> 01:40:45.546 Yes. 01:40:45.630 --> 01:40:47.880 Except I don't want to do My Favorite Husband. 01:40:49.921 --> 01:40:52.963 - I'm confused. - Yeah, me, too. 01:40:53.046 --> 01:40:54.713 Don't panic. It's simple. 01:40:54.796 --> 01:40:57.713 I'm interested in the idea of doing My Favorite Husband on television. 01:40:57.796 --> 01:40:59.380 I just want it to be a different show. 01:41:00.755 --> 01:41:03.255 What kind of show do you want it to be? 01:41:03.338 --> 01:41:05.838 One where Desi plays my husband. 01:41:08.421 --> 01:41:11.296 I understand there's a casting issue. 01:41:11.380 --> 01:41:13.880 - Was that to me? - Yes. 01:41:13.963 --> 01:41:16.046 I wasn't sure. You're quite a ways away. 01:41:16.130 --> 01:41:18.588 Our casting department has come up with a list 01:41:18.671 --> 01:41:21.338 of very exciting names that we think you'll like. 01:41:21.421 --> 01:41:23.838 - Pass this down to Lucy. - These are all very funny men. 01:41:23.921 --> 01:41:25.296 I think we have mimeos for everyone. 01:41:25.380 --> 01:41:27.671 One of the best lists I've seen in a while. 01:41:27.755 --> 01:41:28.713 Number 12 died last week. 01:41:28.796 --> 01:41:30.421 - That's my fault. - There's no issue. 01:41:30.505 --> 01:41:32.463 What was that? 01:41:32.546 --> 01:41:34.463 I was answering Mr. Macy. 01:41:34.546 --> 01:41:35.755 There's no casting issue. 01:41:35.838 --> 01:41:39.880 I'm ready and eager to do a half-hour domestic comedy for CBS, 01:41:39.963 --> 01:41:44.421 if the role of my husband– let's call him Shmezy– is played by Desi. 01:41:44.505 --> 01:41:46.546 - Can I remark on this? - Please. 01:41:46.630 --> 01:41:50.546 On My Favorite Husband, your husband is the fifth vice president of a bank. 01:41:50.630 --> 01:41:52.713 - Yes. - Can I ask you, in all candor, 01:41:52.796 --> 01:41:56.130 do you see Desi as the fifth vice president of a bank? 01:41:56.213 --> 01:41:59.005 I can't see him being the fifth vice president of anything. 01:41:59.088 --> 01:42:00.671 I can see him owning the bank. 01:42:01.630 --> 01:42:02.838 You see the problem? 01:42:02.921 --> 01:42:04.963 I see what you think is the problem. 01:42:05.046 --> 01:42:06.338 - Lucy. - Yes. 01:42:06.421 --> 01:42:08.880 I don't ordinarily come to meetings like this. 01:42:08.963 --> 01:42:13.171 This meeting is several floors below my general interest. 01:42:13.255 --> 01:42:16.963 I'm here to deliver a hard truth. 01:42:17.046 --> 01:42:23.421 We cannot have an all-American girl married to a man who isn't American. 01:42:23.505 --> 01:42:25.088 He is American. 01:42:25.171 --> 01:42:29.088 He was a sergeant in the U.S. Army and he served in the war. 01:42:29.171 --> 01:42:31.921 You know exactly what I mean, Lucy. 01:42:32.005 --> 01:42:34.130 - He's Spanish. - Still no. 01:42:34.213 --> 01:42:35.630 He's never been to Spain in his life. 01:42:35.713 --> 01:42:37.255 He speaks Spanish. He was born in Cuba. 01:42:37.338 --> 01:42:41.505 His father was the mayor of Santiago, Cuba's second largest city. 01:42:41.588 --> 01:42:43.588 - You know exactly what… - What you mean? Yes. 01:42:43.671 --> 01:42:44.713 I do. 01:42:44.796 --> 01:42:47.255 Look, I'm not here to get a job for my nephew. 01:42:47.338 --> 01:42:49.963 Desi Arnaz is a phenomenally talented man. 01:42:50.046 --> 01:42:52.838 Not just a world-class musician, but a very good actor 01:42:52.921 --> 01:42:56.421 who would be a movie star if there was such a thing as a Cuban movie star. 01:42:56.505 --> 01:42:59.046 Moreover, we work very well together. 01:42:59.130 --> 01:43:02.505 I go out and meet him when he's touring, he brings me up for some sketches, 01:43:02.588 --> 01:43:03.838 and it works. 01:43:03.921 --> 01:43:05.171 - Jess? - Yeah, it works. 01:43:05.255 --> 01:43:08.005 Any cultural differences will make for good comedy. 01:43:08.088 --> 01:43:09.213 Am I right, Jess? 01:43:09.296 --> 01:43:10.880 You're not wrong. 01:43:10.963 --> 01:43:12.588 Now, I don't want to take another meeting like this 01:43:12.671 --> 01:43:14.671 'cause I don't know how many more people will fit around the table. 01:43:14.755 --> 01:43:16.921 My position is not gonna change. 01:43:17.005 --> 01:43:18.421 You want me on television? 01:43:18.505 --> 01:43:21.005 There is only one television show that I'm willing to do. 01:43:21.088 --> 01:43:23.796 So, what's it gonna be? 01:43:50.546 --> 01:43:51.921 All right, holding. Get Des. 01:44:03.505 --> 01:44:04.963 We think it's about 15 minutes. 01:44:06.046 --> 01:44:07.546 - You think? - We're holding for something. 01:44:07.630 --> 01:44:10.380 - I'm not sure what. - Okay, thanks. 01:44:10.463 --> 01:44:11.880 Holding? 01:44:14.338 --> 01:44:16.338 Yeah, come in. 01:44:20.546 --> 01:44:22.880 - Can I have a second? - Sure. 01:44:27.338 --> 01:44:29.046 I think I know why you want to see me. 01:44:29.130 --> 01:44:31.213 - Do you? - Hear me out. 01:44:31.296 --> 01:44:32.421 I asked you to do me a favor, Jess. 01:44:32.505 --> 01:44:34.421 - I asked you to give him an E.P. credit. - Mm-hmm. 01:44:34.505 --> 01:44:38.255 Instead, you tried to convince him he was the title character or some bullshit. 01:44:38.338 --> 01:44:39.380 What the hell was that?! 01:44:39.463 --> 01:44:40.796 I'm sorry if he was insulted. 01:44:40.880 --> 01:44:42.421 I mean, I know he's insulted, so I'm sorry. 01:44:42.505 --> 01:44:44.921 He wasn't insulted. He was laughing about it. 01:44:45.005 --> 01:44:46.546 But, yeah, he's insulted. 01:44:46.630 --> 01:44:48.213 No, he's offended. I'm insulted. 01:44:48.296 --> 01:44:51.463 - I asked you to do me a small favor. - Yeah. 01:44:51.546 --> 01:44:53.421 And it's not like you don't owe me a couple. 01:44:55.671 --> 01:44:57.671 It wasn't a small favor. 01:44:57.755 --> 01:44:59.546 And I don't know what you think I owe you. 01:44:59.630 --> 01:45:01.380 - Really? - It wasn't a small favor. 01:45:01.463 --> 01:45:04.255 - You asked me to save your marriage. - No, I… 01:45:04.338 --> 01:45:06.338 And-and it's not the first time you've asked me to do that, is it? 01:45:06.421 --> 01:45:09.213 I asked you to give him an E.P. credit, that's all. 01:45:09.296 --> 01:45:11.421 Oh, no problem. Can my wife play Lucy once in a while? 01:45:11.505 --> 01:45:13.255 If your wife played Lucy once in a while, 01:45:13.338 --> 01:45:15.963 I would think it appropriate she be so credited. 01:45:16.046 --> 01:45:17.588 And what do you mean it's not the first time 01:45:17.671 --> 01:45:19.630 I asked you to save my marriage? 01:45:19.713 --> 01:45:21.380 “Jess, Jess, we'll have Desi play my husband. 01:45:21.463 --> 01:45:23.588 - It'll save my marriage.” - Was that supposed to be me? 01:45:23.671 --> 01:45:25.088 - Yeah, yeah. - Don't do voices. 01:45:25.171 --> 01:45:27.088 Oh, are you insulted? Desi's offended? 01:45:27.171 --> 01:45:29.880 You asked me to give away my job title like it was a parking spot! 01:45:29.963 --> 01:45:31.213 You're right. 01:45:31.296 --> 01:45:32.713 - I'm sorry! - Jesus Christ, Lucy! 01:45:32.796 --> 01:45:34.630 Sometimes I think that you… 01:45:37.630 --> 01:45:38.838 Wait, what? 01:45:40.421 --> 01:45:42.130 You're right. I'm sorry. 01:45:42.213 --> 01:45:43.380 I was dead wrong. 01:45:43.463 --> 01:45:45.671 I wasn't expecting that. 01:45:45.755 --> 01:45:47.255 - I know. - Have you ever said that to me before? 01:45:47.338 --> 01:45:49.255 I doubt it, but… 01:45:49.338 --> 01:45:51.796 I've thought it, if that means anything. 01:45:51.880 --> 01:45:53.713 It does. 01:45:54.713 --> 01:45:57.880 It's just been a compound fracture of a week. 01:45:59.880 --> 01:46:01.505 Hey. 01:46:01.588 --> 01:46:03.630 - Why are we holding? - I'm not sure. 01:46:03.713 --> 01:46:05.213 We're holding. Someone has to know why. 01:46:05.296 --> 01:46:07.255 He's-he's coming. 01:46:07.338 --> 01:46:09.630 Come in. 01:46:09.713 --> 01:46:11.463 Desi's asking to see you in his office. 01:46:12.546 --> 01:46:14.588 - You mean in his dressing room? - No, he's in his office 01:46:14.671 --> 01:46:17.088 with some CBS executives and some men from Philip Morris. 01:46:19.880 --> 01:46:21.588 Why is he in his office at showtime? 01:46:24.005 --> 01:46:26.255 ♫ ♫ 01:46:28.130 --> 01:46:30.880 The evening editions just came out. 01:46:34.838 --> 01:46:36.255 Listen to me. 01:46:36.338 --> 01:46:38.005 Memorize this. 01:46:38.088 --> 01:46:40.046 “It's none of your fucking business.” 01:46:44.213 --> 01:46:45.296 There. 01:46:45.380 --> 01:46:47.796 Let that be the best thing I ever wrote. 01:46:54.421 --> 01:46:55.630 Nah. 01:46:55.713 --> 01:46:57.421 It's still “Vitameatavegamin.” 01:47:19.130 --> 01:47:20.546 The evening edition. 01:47:25.380 --> 01:47:26.796 It's all right. 01:47:26.880 --> 01:47:28.296 It's all right. 01:47:30.671 --> 01:47:32.505 It's in four-inch type. 01:47:32.588 --> 01:47:34.588 I'm gonna fix this. 01:47:34.671 --> 01:47:36.005 That's Hindenburg type. 01:47:36.088 --> 01:47:38.046 I've already made the calls. 01:47:38.130 --> 01:47:39.921 - And they used red ink. - Yeah. 01:47:40.005 --> 01:47:42.421 I didn't even know newspapers had red ink. 01:47:42.505 --> 01:47:43.838 I guess they do. 01:47:43.921 --> 01:47:46.213 I was cleared. 01:47:46.296 --> 01:47:49.546 Somehow, the city editor, a woman named Agness Underwood, 01:47:49.630 --> 01:47:54.380 has a photostatic copy of the affidavit showing you registered in 1936 01:47:54.463 --> 01:47:56.755 as a voter intending to affiliate with the Communist Party. 01:47:56.838 --> 01:47:58.005 But I was cleared. 01:47:58.088 --> 01:48:00.046 After the testimony, they stamped “canceled” on the card, 01:48:00.130 --> 01:48:01.171 and I saw the card. 01:48:01.255 --> 01:48:02.796 Other papers are showing the canceled card. 01:48:02.880 --> 01:48:05.755 They're running a caption that says, “Note the cancellation at left.” 01:48:05.838 --> 01:48:10.130 But the Herald-Express took the word “canceled” out of the document altogether. 01:48:10.213 --> 01:48:11.588 Other papers? 01:48:11.671 --> 01:48:14.671 Yes, yes, but I've-I've made calls and we are taking care of this. 01:48:14.755 --> 01:48:16.796 - We– Eh? - Calls to who? 01:48:16.880 --> 01:48:18.838 Every reporter within 20 minutes of this soundstage. 01:48:18.921 --> 01:48:20.005 That's why we're holding. 01:48:20.088 --> 01:48:22.255 - You're saying reporters are coming here? - Yeah. 01:48:22.338 --> 01:48:24.421 We'll seat them in the back of the bleachers. 01:48:24.505 --> 01:48:26.546 You think we're still filming a show? 01:48:26.630 --> 01:48:29.005 Why are none of you talking? 01:48:29.088 --> 01:48:30.505 Desi has an idea. 01:48:30.588 --> 01:48:34.838 I'm going to warm up the audience the way I always do, 01:48:34.921 --> 01:48:38.671 except instead of “Cuban Pete” and the joke about the turtle, 01:48:38.755 --> 01:48:40.880 I'm going to tell them what happened. 01:48:40.963 --> 01:48:44.296 I'm going to explain that you checked the wrong box, 01:48:44.380 --> 01:48:47.296 I'm going to show them the canceled document, 01:48:47.380 --> 01:48:49.755 and then I'm going to bring you out 01:48:49.838 --> 01:48:52.505 so the press sees them give you a round of applause. 01:48:52.588 --> 01:48:53.671 Yes. 01:48:54.671 --> 01:48:55.880 Hmm? 01:48:57.255 --> 01:48:59.213 Fellas, can we, um… 01:48:59.296 --> 01:49:01.380 have the room for just a moment? 01:49:14.630 --> 01:49:18.546 You're not telling these people that I checked the wrong box. 01:49:18.630 --> 01:49:20.630 This is a critical moment, Lucy. 01:49:20.713 --> 01:49:22.630 - If I'm gonna die… - You're not. 01:49:22.713 --> 01:49:24.546 …I would rather die standing up. 01:49:24.630 --> 01:49:25.921 I don't have any idea what that is suppo… 01:49:26.005 --> 01:49:27.796 I'm not an idiot. I didn't check the wrong box. 01:49:27.880 --> 01:49:28.880 You saw the headline. 01:49:28.963 --> 01:49:31.838 - You can see the headline from outer space. -Then please… 01:49:31.921 --> 01:49:34.963 Grandpa Fred raised me from when I was age four. 01:49:35.046 --> 01:49:38.130 He cared about the little guy. He cared about workers' rights. 01:49:38.213 --> 01:49:41.005 It was a tribute to him, and to say that I checked the wrong… 01:49:41.088 --> 01:49:42.463 Grandpa Fred, Grandpa Fred. 01:49:42.546 --> 01:49:45.463 Grandpa Fred was wrong, Lucy! 01:49:45.546 --> 01:49:49.088 Yes, he didn't tell you the part where they throw your father in prison 01:49:49.171 --> 01:49:51.296 for the crime of being the mayor of a city. 01:49:51.380 --> 01:49:55.671 I was chased to this country, Lucy! 01:49:55.755 --> 01:49:57.838 Believe me, you checked the wrong box! 01:50:00.796 --> 01:50:02.338 And if they don't applaud? 01:50:03.963 --> 01:50:06.671 They will. And the press will write that they did. 01:50:09.213 --> 01:50:11.546 You're gonna tell them I was accused of… 01:50:11.630 --> 01:50:14.088 They're going to read it in the morning anyway. 01:50:14.171 --> 01:50:17.880 We have a sample population of 200 people on our stage, so… 01:50:17.963 --> 01:50:19.546 Miss Rosen! 01:50:19.630 --> 01:50:21.630 If they boo me? 01:50:23.005 --> 01:50:24.671 If they boo you… 01:50:27.005 --> 01:50:28.963 …then we're done. 01:50:29.046 --> 01:50:31.255 Here, tonight. 01:50:38.755 --> 01:50:40.380 Call this man. 01:50:41.838 --> 01:50:44.588 Tell them it's for me. 01:50:44.671 --> 01:50:46.005 They'll find him. 01:50:46.088 --> 01:50:48.255 He's expecting my call. 01:50:48.338 --> 01:50:49.838 Tell me when you have him. 01:50:49.921 --> 01:50:51.338 Yes, sir. 01:51:09.505 --> 01:51:11.921 Someone said they spotted you going out here. 01:51:17.671 --> 01:51:18.880 I was just told. 01:51:20.338 --> 01:51:23.338 Jesus, Lulu. Four-inch type? 01:51:23.421 --> 01:51:25.046 Red ink. 01:51:27.921 --> 01:51:29.630 I shouldn't have piled on this week. 01:51:29.713 --> 01:51:31.130 It just… 01:51:32.255 --> 01:51:33.588 What? 01:51:34.588 --> 01:51:36.796 None of that matters right now. 01:51:39.421 --> 01:51:41.171 May be the last time we're out here. 01:51:41.255 --> 01:51:43.046 Say it. 01:51:47.296 --> 01:51:50.671 Lucy Ricardo is married to a man six years younger than she is, 01:51:50.755 --> 01:51:54.046 and Ethel is married to her grandfather, and it's understood, 01:51:54.130 --> 01:51:56.963 as the underlying premise for a running joke, 01:51:57.046 --> 01:51:59.338 that I'm not pretty enough for him. 01:52:02.171 --> 01:52:04.338 It got to me. 01:52:04.421 --> 01:52:06.171 And at the world's worst time. 01:52:13.588 --> 01:52:15.671 That was a knockout dress. 01:52:19.046 --> 01:52:21.421 Oh. You two want to be alone out here? 01:52:21.505 --> 01:52:22.671 - No. - Yes. 01:52:32.088 --> 01:52:33.713 You're my hero. 01:52:35.671 --> 01:52:37.588 I care about what works, Maddie. 01:52:37.671 --> 01:52:39.421 ♫ ♫ 01:52:39.505 --> 01:52:42.130 I care about what's funny. 01:52:42.213 --> 01:52:47.505 I don't see myself caring about a woman's perspective from a new generation. 01:52:47.588 --> 01:52:49.588 I care about you. 01:52:52.880 --> 01:52:54.671 I'd love for someone to bring me breakfast. 01:52:54.755 --> 01:52:58.338 That's not what we were talking about. 01:52:58.421 --> 01:53:01.171 Doesn't a P.A. bring you breakfast every day? 01:53:01.255 --> 01:53:02.921 - Yes. - Okay. 01:53:03.005 --> 01:53:04.588 Never French toast. 01:53:04.671 --> 01:53:06.963 - We'll look into that. - I came out here 01:53:07.046 --> 01:53:11.796 to try to distract you with nonsense, but I assume these two beat me to it. 01:53:11.880 --> 01:53:15.463 Viv doesn't like the jokes about Ethel being unappealing. 01:53:15.546 --> 01:53:18.630 Yeah, there's no one within the sound of her voice who doesn't know that. 01:53:18.713 --> 01:53:21.171 I said what I felt. 01:53:21.255 --> 01:53:24.546 You've been saying what you felt since the first day of work. 01:53:24.630 --> 01:53:27.505 It's not like you've suddenly given voice to your feelings. 01:53:29.963 --> 01:53:31.171 You know what? 01:53:33.505 --> 01:53:35.213 Sweet ladies? 01:53:38.255 --> 01:53:40.588 Something dies inside a man… 01:53:41.921 --> 01:53:44.963 …it just dies… 01:53:46.088 --> 01:53:49.463 …the first time he hears a girl call him old. 01:53:53.088 --> 01:53:58.380 So on the subject of Jess, Bob and Madelyn writing Ethel jokes, 01:53:58.463 --> 01:54:00.171 I'm indifferent. 01:54:00.255 --> 01:54:03.255 You two… 01:54:06.088 --> 01:54:08.213 …are good actors. 01:54:10.963 --> 01:54:12.963 It's a privilege doing this show with you. 01:54:13.046 --> 01:54:14.963 Now you're scaring the shit out of me. 01:54:15.046 --> 01:54:16.130 I was just gonna say. 01:54:16.213 --> 01:54:18.088 Desi's gonna tell the audience. 01:54:18.171 --> 01:54:19.380 He's invited press. 01:54:19.463 --> 01:54:21.796 He's betting that the audience will accept the truth, 01:54:21.880 --> 01:54:24.296 give their approval, and the press will write about it. 01:54:30.921 --> 01:54:32.546 I'd take the other side of that bet. 01:54:32.630 --> 01:54:33.630 Excuse me. 01:54:33.713 --> 01:54:35.671 Sorry. Mr. Arnaz is ready to do the warm-up. 01:54:35.755 --> 01:54:38.255 Uh, they told me you wanted to know. 01:54:38.338 --> 01:54:39.755 Thank you. 01:54:43.296 --> 01:54:45.171 All right. 01:54:47.630 --> 01:54:49.546 See you out there. 01:54:53.171 --> 01:54:55.338 - Good show. - Good show. 01:54:55.421 --> 01:54:56.671 Good show. 01:55:00.130 --> 01:55:01.463 Luce. 01:55:03.338 --> 01:55:07.130 The dinner scene is inarguably better. 01:55:31.171 --> 01:55:33.880 Now, ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome 01:55:33.963 --> 01:55:36.588 to one of the stars of I Love Lucy. 01:55:36.671 --> 01:55:38.880 You know him as Ricky Ricardo. 01:55:38.963 --> 01:55:41.088 Here's Desi Arnaz! 01:55:43.171 --> 01:55:44.505 Thank you. 01:55:44.588 --> 01:55:45.880 Oh, thank you. 01:55:48.505 --> 01:55:51.421 Thank you. Thank you. 01:55:51.505 --> 01:55:54.005 Thank you very much. 01:55:54.088 --> 01:55:56.838 Usually, right now, I'd be doing the final audience warm-up. 01:55:56.921 --> 01:55:58.338 I'd tell you an old joke about a turtle. 01:55:58.421 --> 01:56:00.171 And I'd point out 01:56:00.255 --> 01:56:03.255 our groundbreaking camera system that allows the studio audience 01:56:03.338 --> 01:56:08.380 to watch the show unobstructed and introduce you to the rest of the cast. 01:56:08.463 --> 01:56:11.963 I'm not doing that tonight, and here's why. 01:56:12.046 --> 01:56:16.421 Last week, my wife, Lucille Ball, 01:56:16.505 --> 01:56:19.546 was asked to testify in front of a closed session 01:56:19.630 --> 01:56:23.005 of the House Un-American Activities Committee. 01:56:24.671 --> 01:56:28.005 Yes, the congressmen who investigate Communism. 01:56:29.088 --> 01:56:33.921 After hours of testimony, the committee concluded unambiguously 01:56:34.005 --> 01:56:38.505 that Lucy was and is in no way involved with the Communist Party. 01:56:38.588 --> 01:56:40.880 So everything's swell, right? 01:56:40.963 --> 01:56:42.796 No. 01:56:42.880 --> 01:56:46.963 Because this is the evening edition headline in the Herald-Express. 01:56:54.963 --> 01:56:57.463 ♫ ♫ 01:57:02.463 --> 01:57:03.838 So… 01:57:03.921 --> 01:57:05.588 I made some phone calls. 01:57:05.671 --> 01:57:07.755 I called the editor of the Herald-Express. 01:57:07.838 --> 01:57:10.296 I called the chairman of the committee. 01:57:10.380 --> 01:57:13.255 I called all the members of the committee. 01:57:13.338 --> 01:57:16.505 And I made one more call to someone, and I believe he's still on the line. 01:57:16.588 --> 01:57:17.588 Thank you. 01:57:18.963 --> 01:57:20.546 Are you still with me, sir? 01:57:20.630 --> 01:57:22.588 Yes. 01:57:22.671 --> 01:57:26.005 I'm now standing in front of a studio audience in Hollywood, California, 01:57:26.088 --> 01:57:28.921 and we are joined by a number of members of the press. 01:57:29.005 --> 01:57:30.046 That's fine. 01:57:32.171 --> 01:57:36.671 We want to know, sir, does the FBI have any case against Lucy? 01:57:36.755 --> 01:57:41.296 Does the FBI have any evidence of wrongdoing? 01:57:41.380 --> 01:57:47.505 Does the FBI have any reason to believe that Lucille Ball is a Communist? 01:57:47.588 --> 01:57:49.546 No. Absolutely nothing. 01:57:49.630 --> 01:57:52.463 She's 100% clear. 01:57:52.546 --> 01:57:53.963 Thank you, sir. One more question. 01:57:54.046 --> 01:57:55.630 Will you tell us your name please? 01:57:55.713 --> 01:57:57.588 This is J. Edgar Hoover. 01:57:57.671 --> 01:57:59.046 Thank you, sir. 01:57:59.130 --> 01:58:00.463 Enjoy your evening. 01:58:07.588 --> 01:58:11.005 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my wife 01:58:11.088 --> 01:58:13.588 and the star of I Love Lucy, Lucille Ball! 01:58:15.755 --> 01:58:17.796 ♫ ♫ 01:58:47.838 --> 01:58:49.838 So enjoy the show! 01:59:07.880 --> 01:59:09.213 It's all over! 01:59:09.296 --> 01:59:10.338 Thank you. 01:59:10.421 --> 01:59:12.171 - It's over now. - Thank you. 01:59:12.255 --> 01:59:13.338 They love you. 01:59:13.421 --> 01:59:15.588 I love you. 01:59:15.671 --> 01:59:18.588 No one's gonna mess with you ever, Lucy. 01:59:18.671 --> 01:59:20.588 I thought they were gonna boo. 01:59:20.671 --> 01:59:22.546 You want to do a show? 01:59:22.630 --> 01:59:24.130 Have you been cheating on me? 01:59:25.213 --> 01:59:27.588 - What? - Have you been cheating on me? 01:59:27.671 --> 01:59:29.505 - Is this a bit? - No. 01:59:30.588 --> 01:59:31.671 No, I haven't been. 01:59:31.755 --> 01:59:34.213 When you stay out all night, you're on the boat playing cards? 01:59:34.296 --> 01:59:36.088 - Yes. - You haven't been with anybody else? 01:59:36.171 --> 01:59:38.671 - What's going on with you, honey? - Don't gaslight me. 01:59:38.755 --> 01:59:39.880 Where did this come from? 01:59:39.963 --> 01:59:41.963 I mean, they just cheered for you out there. 01:59:42.046 --> 01:59:43.463 They got it right, didn't they? 01:59:43.546 --> 01:59:46.630 - Lucy… - They only got the picture wrong. 01:59:46.713 --> 01:59:48.671 - Luc… - Did they get it right? 01:59:48.755 --> 01:59:50.588 - Lucy… - Did they get it exactly right? 01:59:50.671 --> 01:59:55.046 Jesus Christ, I just proved out there that the Herald-Express got it wrong. 01:59:55.130 --> 01:59:57.546 You think Confidential magazine– 01:59:57.630 --> 01:59:59.921 Conf– We're about to do a show. 02:00:00.005 --> 02:00:01.463 - Just tell me. - Tell me why you think– 02:00:01.546 --> 02:00:04.546 other than that garbage– 02:00:04.630 --> 02:00:07.130 tell me why you think I've cheated on you. 02:00:10.546 --> 02:00:13.213 That is your lipstick. 02:00:13.296 --> 02:00:16.130 Remember? You kissed me at the beginning of the week, 02:00:16.213 --> 02:00:18.463 and then took my handkerchief and wiped the lipstick off 02:00:18.546 --> 02:00:19.838 and put it back in my pocket. 02:00:19.921 --> 02:00:21.296 And you said you'd never done that before. 02:00:21.380 --> 02:00:22.463 I hadn't. 02:00:22.546 --> 02:00:24.213 Then what the hell are we talking about? 02:00:25.880 --> 02:00:28.171 This is my lipstick. 02:00:29.505 --> 02:00:31.505 ♫ ♫ 02:00:43.171 --> 02:00:45.588 They were just call girls. 02:00:45.671 --> 02:00:47.046 Hmm. 02:00:49.588 --> 02:00:50.880 They're hookers. 02:00:57.921 --> 02:01:00.005 It doesn't mean anything, Lucy. 02:01:01.005 --> 02:01:03.213 - Look, Lucy, it doesn't mean… - Mm. 02:01:03.296 --> 02:01:04.755 Let's do the show. Yeah? 02:01:04.838 --> 02:01:06.505 Let's just forget about this for a half hour. 02:01:06.588 --> 02:01:07.880 Yeah? Let's do the show. 02:01:07.963 --> 02:01:10.505 Jim, let's go! 02:01:10.588 --> 02:01:13.171 - It's not gonna get better than this. - Copy that. 02:01:13.255 --> 02:01:15.463 - All right, everybody! - Let's do a show! 02:01:15.546 --> 02:01:17.421 This is places for scene “A”! 02:01:17.505 --> 02:01:19.171 - Scene “A”! - Scene “A,” places! 02:01:19.255 --> 02:01:21.296 Okay, positions, everyone. 02:01:21.380 --> 02:01:22.880 - Cameras up. - Cameras up. 02:01:22.963 --> 02:01:24.296 Quiet on set. Bell! 02:01:25.463 --> 02:01:26.796 - Quiet please! - Quiet please! 02:01:26.880 --> 02:01:28.213 Picture's up! 02:01:28.296 --> 02:01:30.088 - Picture's up. - Quiet, everyone! 02:01:30.171 --> 02:01:32.171 - Let's roll sound. - Rolling! -Rolling! 02:01:32.255 --> 02:01:33.546 - Sound speed. - And mark. 02:01:33.630 --> 02:01:35.546 - Speed mark. - Dolly. 02:01:35.630 --> 02:01:37.796 Settle. And action. 02:01:38.880 --> 02:01:40.963 It ended up being a good show that night. 02:01:41.046 --> 02:01:43.963 We did both versions of the opening, 02:01:44.046 --> 02:01:46.255 but it was the original version that made it on the air, 02:01:46.338 --> 02:01:47.546 the one with all the names. 02:01:47.630 --> 02:01:51.005 You must've gotten a copy of the “B” negative, 02:01:51.088 --> 02:01:52.588 'cause your original question was… 02:01:52.671 --> 02:01:55.505 For the record, I won my bet with Desi. 02:01:55.588 --> 02:01:57.963 CBS wouldn't let us use the word “pregnant.” 02:01:59.546 --> 02:02:01.380 But more people watched the birth of Little Ricky 02:02:01.463 --> 02:02:04.671 than had ever watched a television program before. 02:02:05.838 --> 02:02:07.088 Your original question? 02:02:07.171 --> 02:02:10.463 You asked about why Lucy stopped when we were doing the alt. 02:02:10.546 --> 02:02:11.713 The alternate version. 02:02:11.796 --> 02:02:14.838 We were doing Lucy's version of Ricky's entrance first. 02:02:14.921 --> 02:02:16.546 She was doing the bit with the flowers, 02:02:16.630 --> 02:02:19.213 which we couldn't use 'cause we were running long. 02:02:27.796 --> 02:02:31.838 She takes a pitcher and pours water into the vase… 02:02:31.921 --> 02:02:34.630 Which makes all the flowers come up to the surface. 02:02:44.088 --> 02:02:47.505 It seemed like she just got lost in her own head for a second. 02:02:47.588 --> 02:02:49.338 I can't remember what her cue was. 02:02:49.421 --> 02:02:52.046 It may have been the only time she ever went up on a line. 02:02:52.130 --> 02:02:55.088 I can't remember the first line, but we… 02:02:55.171 --> 02:02:56.588 we had to stop and go again. 02:02:56.671 --> 02:02:58.671 It was Desi's line. 02:02:58.755 --> 02:03:00.505 It was the new bit Lucy put in. 02:03:01.713 --> 02:03:03.171 What was his line? 02:03:03.255 --> 02:03:06.755 Lucy, I'm home! 02:03:11.796 --> 02:03:13.796 ♫ ♫ 02:03:35.463 --> 02:03:36.671 Sorry. 02:03:36.755 --> 02:03:38.421 I got lost for a second. 02:03:38.505 --> 02:03:39.921 All right, let's cut and go again. 02:03:40.005 --> 02:03:44.296 We never went back to do another take of the alternate opening. 02:03:44.380 --> 02:03:46.546 Lucy just wanted to move on. 02:03:46.630 --> 02:03:48.630 ♫ ♫ 02:04:00.588 --> 02:04:02.713 - Oh! - Guess who it is. 02:04:02.796 --> 02:04:05.505 Bill? Sam? 02:04:05.588 --> 02:04:07.421 - Pat? - No. 02:04:07.505 --> 02:04:11.088 Pedro? Pablo? 02:04:11.171 --> 02:04:12.338 Jose? 02:04:12.421 --> 02:04:13.713 No, it's me. 02:04:13.796 --> 02:04:16.296 Ah, yes, of course. 02:04:16.380 --> 02:04:19.171 - Uh… - Very, very funny. 02:04:19.255 --> 02:04:21.671 - ♫ ♫ - Hey, company for dinner? 02:04:21.755 --> 02:04:22.755 Who is it? 02:04:22.838 --> 02:04:24.838 How do you like the new water glasses, Ricky? 02:04:24.921 --> 02:04:26.463 Who's coming for dinner, Lucy? 02:04:26.546 --> 02:04:29.171 Doesn't the table look beautiful tonight? 02:04:29.255 --> 02:04:32.213 - Lucy, who is it? - Some people. 02:04:32.296 --> 02:04:34.296 ♫ ♫ 02:04:51.005 --> 02:04:53.005 ♫ ♫ 02:05:23.005 --> 02:05:25.005 ♫ ♫ 02:05:55.005 --> 02:05:57.005 ♫ ♫ 02:06:27.005 --> 02:06:29.005 ♫ ♫ 02:07:01.963 --> 02:07:04.046 ♫ They call me Cuban Pete ♫ 02:07:04.130 --> 02:07:06.338 ♫ I'm the king of the rumba beat ♫ 02:07:06.421 --> 02:07:08.171 ♫ When I play the maracas, I go ♫ 02:07:08.255 --> 02:07:11.088 ♫ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♫ 02:07:11.171 --> 02:07:13.255 ♫ Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete ♫ 02:07:13.338 --> 02:07:15.505 ♫ I'm the craze of my native street ♫ 02:07:15.588 --> 02:07:17.338 ♫ When I start to dance, everything goes ♫ 02:07:17.421 --> 02:07:20.171 ♫ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♫ 02:07:20.255 --> 02:07:24.880 ♫ The señoritas, they sing and how they swing with this rumbero ♫ 02:07:24.963 --> 02:07:26.921 ♫ It's very nice ♫ 02:07:27.005 --> 02:07:29.380 ♫ So full of spice ♫ 02:07:29.463 --> 02:07:30.838 ♫ And when they're dancing ♫ 02:07:30.921 --> 02:07:33.921 ♫ They bring a happy ring, the maraquero ♫ 02:07:34.005 --> 02:07:36.338 ♫ Singing a song ♫ 02:07:36.421 --> 02:07:38.505 ♫ All the day long ♫ 02:07:38.588 --> 02:07:40.713 ♫ So if you like the beat ♫ 02:07:40.796 --> 02:07:42.921 ♫ Take a lesson from Cuban Pete ♫ 02:07:43.005 --> 02:07:44.838 ♫ And I'll teach you to chick chicky boom ♫ 02:07:44.921 --> 02:07:47.546 ♫ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♫ 02:07:47.630 --> 02:07:48.838 ♫ Sí, señorita ♫ 02:07:48.921 --> 02:07:52.255 ♫ I know that you would like to chicky boom chick ♫ 02:07:52.338 --> 02:07:54.463 ♫ Because it's the dance ♫ 02:07:54.546 --> 02:07:56.671 ♫ Of Latin romance ♫ 02:07:56.755 --> 02:08:01.380 ♫ And Cuban Pete doesn't teach you in a hurry like Arthur Murray ♫ 02:08:01.463 --> 02:08:03.421 ♫ I come from Havana ♫ 02:08:03.505 --> 02:08:06.046 ♫ And there's always mañana ♫ 02:08:06.130 --> 02:08:08.171 ♫ So, señorita, please ♫ 02:08:08.255 --> 02:08:10.421 ♫ Take it easy, do it with ease ♫ 02:08:10.505 --> 02:08:12.171 ♫ And you'll love it when you do the chick ♫ 02:08:12.255 --> 02:08:16.505 ♫ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom. ♫ 02:08:17.546 --> 02:08:19.546 ♫ ♫ 02:08:49.005 --> 02:08:51.005 ♫ ♫ 02:09:21.005 --> 02:09:23.005 ♫ ♫ 02:09:53.005 --> 02:09:55.005 ♫ ♫ 02:10:25.005 --> 02:10:27.005 ♫ ♫ 02:10:57.005 --> 02:11:08.005 Telegram Channel and Instagram Page .:: @bollbolljan_com ::.