WEBVTT 00:00:00.619 --> 00:00:30.246 ..:: Presented by ZarFilm website ::.. ‏.:: www.bolboljan.net ::. 00:00:37.329 --> 00:00:38.932 Hey, monty, I'm getting outta here, man. 00:00:38.956 --> 00:00:40.082 It's Thanksgiving. 00:00:42.459 --> 00:00:44.378 What time did they start showing up last year? 00:00:45.879 --> 00:00:47.881 - About noon. - Noon? 00:00:51.176 --> 00:00:52.594 Freaking vultures! 00:01:14.241 --> 00:01:15.367 Oh, shit. 00:01:48.358 --> 00:01:49.776 What the fuck is that? 00:02:20.807 --> 00:02:22.517 Monty. 00:02:22.601 --> 00:02:25.395 Yo, monty! 00:02:32.861 --> 00:02:35.072 Oh, what the fuck, monty? 00:02:35.155 --> 00:02:37.449 You had one job. 00:02:37.532 --> 00:02:38.909 Jesus Christ. 00:02:41.953 --> 00:02:44.831 Monty? 00:02:53.924 --> 00:02:56.468 It's christmastime 00:02:56.551 --> 00:02:59.471 and I know that I 00:02:59.554 --> 00:03:04.768 got a touch of inspiration and I can't lose 00:03:04.851 --> 00:03:07.521 all the little tikes 00:03:07.604 --> 00:03:10.565 want their dolls and bikes 00:03:10.649 --> 00:03:15.779 but I got a gift for you 00:03:15.862 --> 00:03:18.740 it ain't tinkertoys 00:03:18.824 --> 00:03:21.576 for the girls and boys 00:03:21.660 --> 00:03:26.998 but I'm not gonna give you many clues 00:03:27.082 --> 00:03:29.292 'cause I like your eyes 00:03:29.376 --> 00:03:33.004 when they see surprise 00:03:33.088 --> 00:03:36.591 and I've got a big one for you 00:03:38.593 --> 00:03:41.430 the other kids can have the toys 00:03:41.513 --> 00:03:44.099 blocks and puzzles too 00:03:44.182 --> 00:03:46.435 choo-choo trains and wind-up planes 00:03:46.518 --> 00:03:49.146 but I've got much more for you 00:03:49.229 --> 00:03:51.773 oh, that tinsel's swingin' 00:03:51.857 --> 00:03:54.735 and the bells are ringin' 00:03:54.818 --> 00:03:59.865 and it's all such a big to-do 00:03:59.948 --> 00:04:02.743 but you can keep the cards 00:04:02.826 --> 00:04:05.871 and the kind regards 00:04:05.954 --> 00:04:11.293 'cause I got a gift for you 00:04:11.376 --> 00:04:13.712 come one, come all 00:04:13.795 --> 00:04:16.840 it's a grand old ball 00:04:16.923 --> 00:04:20.761 gather close, 'cause it's gonna be a real hoot 00:04:20.844 --> 00:04:22.345 hoo-hoo 00:04:22.429 --> 00:04:24.848 your grandma's here 00:04:24.931 --> 00:04:28.018 sayin', "join me, dear" 00:04:28.101 --> 00:04:33.440 "have I got a gift for you" 00:04:33.523 --> 00:04:40.322 "have I got a gift for you" 00:04:45.786 --> 00:04:48.663 All right, influencers, time to go. 00:04:48.747 --> 00:04:51.333 Come on. Mom's is boring. 00:04:51.416 --> 00:04:53.835 Mom's house isn't boring. 00:04:53.919 --> 00:04:56.713 Her and Grant are... 00:04:56.797 --> 00:04:58.340 Well, they're kinda lame. 00:04:58.423 --> 00:05:01.051 - He uses axe body spray. - I know. 00:05:01.134 --> 00:05:03.595 And he farts, like, all the time. 00:05:03.678 --> 00:05:05.806 - Come on, dad. - We had Thanksgiving breakfast. 00:05:05.889 --> 00:05:08.016 Talk about sad. 00:05:08.099 --> 00:05:09.226 Mom's waiting. Let's go. 00:05:09.309 --> 00:05:11.269 Come on, let's go. Come on, kiddo. 00:05:13.730 --> 00:05:15.333 Why do you have to work on Thanksgiving, dad? 00:05:15.357 --> 00:05:16.900 It's not fair. 00:05:19.402 --> 00:05:21.780 Listen, kiddo. 00:05:21.863 --> 00:05:24.533 Heroes work on the holidays, okay? 00:05:24.616 --> 00:05:27.577 Cops, firefighters, your dad. 00:05:29.955 --> 00:05:31.748 Come on. Come on, let's go. 00:05:31.832 --> 00:05:33.291 - Come on. - I love you, daddy. 00:05:33.375 --> 00:05:35.126 - I love you too, baby. - Give me a big hug. 00:05:35.210 --> 00:05:36.920 Oh, big squishes. 00:05:38.088 --> 00:05:39.881 Hey, hey. 00:05:39.965 --> 00:05:43.468 Grant does not work today. 00:05:43.552 --> 00:05:46.096 Take that for what you will, okay? 00:05:46.179 --> 00:05:48.306 Okay, get out here. Love you. I love you. 00:05:52.143 --> 00:05:54.437 That's a sweater, huh? 00:05:54.521 --> 00:05:57.399 The other kids can have the toys 00:05:57.482 --> 00:05:59.985 blocks and puzzles too 00:06:00.068 --> 00:06:02.320 choo-choo trains and wind-up planes 00:06:02.404 --> 00:06:05.156 but I've got much more for you 00:06:05.240 --> 00:06:07.576 oh, that tinsel's swingin' 00:06:07.659 --> 00:06:10.537 and the bells are ringin' 00:06:10.620 --> 00:06:15.458 and it's all such a big to-do 00:06:15.542 --> 00:06:18.128 has anyone seen my hand sanitizer? 00:06:18.211 --> 00:06:20.255 Uh, check the drawer in the foyer. 00:06:20.338 --> 00:06:22.298 Yeah, maybe check that shithole you call a room. 00:06:23.383 --> 00:06:24.694 - Hey, pass the pie, will ya? - Yeah. 00:06:24.718 --> 00:06:26.011 Hey, has anyone seen a new one? 00:06:26.094 --> 00:06:27.304 Uh, check the... 00:06:27.387 --> 00:06:28.656 Oh! My pocket's got it. 00:06:28.680 --> 00:06:29.866 Honey, I think your ride's here. 00:06:29.890 --> 00:06:32.370 Christopher, we're trying to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner, okay? 00:06:33.476 --> 00:06:35.478 - You have to work all weekend? - I don't know. 00:06:35.562 --> 00:06:37.188 Is dad still charging me rent? 00:06:38.857 --> 00:06:40.483 All weekend. I love you guys. 00:06:40.567 --> 00:06:41.985 Happy Thanksgiving, honey. 00:06:43.904 --> 00:06:45.280 Happy black Friday. 00:06:45.363 --> 00:06:51.077 I got a gift for you 00:06:57.542 --> 00:07:00.754 Coming to the ring, weighing 35 pounds, 00:07:00.837 --> 00:07:02.881 looking like an absolute vegetarian... 00:07:02.964 --> 00:07:03.965 Whoo-whoo-whoo! 00:07:04.049 --> 00:07:06.009 Chris godecki! 00:07:08.720 --> 00:07:10.722 What's up, buddy? 00:07:10.805 --> 00:07:12.682 Come on. Turn that frown upside down. 00:07:12.766 --> 00:07:15.226 You look like you don't want to be working on Thanksgiving. 00:07:15.310 --> 00:07:17.103 Oh, nice booster seat. 00:07:17.187 --> 00:07:18.772 Got any juice boxes for after the game? 00:07:20.315 --> 00:07:22.567 The booster seat's for you, little man. 00:07:22.651 --> 00:07:23.902 Dear Santa 00:07:23.985 --> 00:07:25.153 here's an idea I had 00:07:25.236 --> 00:07:26.529 dear Santa 00:07:26.613 --> 00:07:28.198 a gift for my mom and dad 00:07:28.281 --> 00:07:30.217 - dear Santa - this year I had to write 00:07:30.241 --> 00:07:31.469 I hate that this shift is something 00:07:31.493 --> 00:07:32.702 I've done more than once. 00:07:34.329 --> 00:07:36.247 So you're feeling good, then? 00:07:36.331 --> 00:07:37.934 It's like, everyone's at home watching football, 00:07:37.958 --> 00:07:39.501 eating pumpkin pie. 00:07:39.584 --> 00:07:40.835 This is so depressing. 00:07:40.919 --> 00:07:43.171 Buddy, I had to hand my kids off 00:07:43.254 --> 00:07:45.799 to their mother at sundown. 00:07:45.882 --> 00:07:49.052 Gracie remarked how sad it was we had Thanksgiving breakfast. 00:07:52.097 --> 00:07:54.015 That almost makes me feel better. 00:07:54.099 --> 00:07:56.476 We luv toys loves black Friday deals, 00:07:56.559 --> 00:07:58.395 so come on down! 00:08:04.234 --> 00:08:05.443 That's weird. 00:08:05.527 --> 00:08:06.807 Why would they be closed tonight? 00:08:06.861 --> 00:08:09.656 Whoa! Whoa! 00:08:09.739 --> 00:08:11.491 I guarantee that was some soccer mom 00:08:11.574 --> 00:08:13.702 high on the thrill of being a douche. 00:08:13.785 --> 00:08:16.413 - Black Friday massacre. - Yeah. 00:08:18.581 --> 00:08:20.542 Whoo-hoo, hey there, Santa 00:08:20.625 --> 00:08:23.503 time to jump on your big ole sleigh 00:08:23.586 --> 00:08:25.547 oh, I don't... I don't feel good. 00:08:25.630 --> 00:08:27.465 You're fine. 00:08:31.052 --> 00:08:32.387 Come on, Santa 00:08:32.470 --> 00:08:34.681 it's almost christmastime again 00:08:40.562 --> 00:08:43.231 Go clock in. You don't want to talk to me for free. 00:08:43.314 --> 00:08:44.858 Ready for the shit show? 00:08:44.941 --> 00:08:46.693 What's up, man? 00:08:48.278 --> 00:08:49.696 Come on, Santa 00:08:49.779 --> 00:08:51.656 it's almost christmastime again 00:08:54.200 --> 00:08:56.786 hey there, Santa, time to get ole Rudolph 00:08:56.870 --> 00:08:58.329 I'd say be careful, 00:08:58.413 --> 00:09:00.415 but I bet you're tougher than any guy here. 00:09:00.498 --> 00:09:02.459 You're too sweet. 00:09:02.542 --> 00:09:03.752 All set in the back? 00:09:03.835 --> 00:09:05.378 - Should be. - Keys are in the truck 00:09:05.462 --> 00:09:07.589 and I've got a shit ton of toys to unload. 00:09:07.672 --> 00:09:09.340 - Thanks, Lou. - Your work's appreciated. 00:09:13.428 --> 00:09:14.655 Thought we said we weren't gonna wear 00:09:14.679 --> 00:09:16.306 the same outfits tonight. 00:09:16.389 --> 00:09:18.767 Man, I guess you should just go home, then. 00:09:18.850 --> 00:09:21.394 Huh. Don't tempt me. 00:09:21.478 --> 00:09:22.997 You brought the shopping carts back in, right? 00:09:23.021 --> 00:09:24.606 Yeah, you bet. 00:09:27.275 --> 00:09:28.359 Knock, knock. 00:09:29.944 --> 00:09:31.446 Who's there? 00:09:31.529 --> 00:09:32.614 A doughnut. 00:09:32.697 --> 00:09:34.282 A doughnut who? 00:09:36.326 --> 00:09:38.161 I doughnut fucking believe you. 00:09:40.246 --> 00:09:42.207 We still on for pancakes tonight? 00:09:42.290 --> 00:09:44.000 Are you buying? 00:09:44.084 --> 00:09:45.603 I don't think we've ever been introduced. 00:09:45.627 --> 00:09:47.587 I'm the artist formerly known as half to my ex. 00:09:51.800 --> 00:09:53.551 Hey, let me get my holiday bonus. 00:09:53.635 --> 00:09:54.928 Nice try, bates, 00:09:55.011 --> 00:09:56.763 but you get it when you clock out at 6:00. 00:09:58.139 --> 00:09:59.974 6:00? 00:10:00.058 --> 00:10:04.020 That's a ten-hour descent into hell! 00:10:04.104 --> 00:10:05.271 Oh, my back. 00:10:06.439 --> 00:10:07.774 We've got "I-view sky" 00:10:07.857 --> 00:10:09.567 reporting on tonight's meteor showers. 00:10:09.651 --> 00:10:11.444 We've got tips on how to snap 00:10:11.528 --> 00:10:13.530 the perfect meteor... 00:10:13.613 --> 00:10:15.341 It's okay to be sad, depressed, and even suicidal. 00:10:15.365 --> 00:10:16.759 Toy does not come with any chokeable parts 00:10:16.783 --> 00:10:18.260 - or pieces that can be... - Thanks, Sandy. 00:10:18.284 --> 00:10:19.744 And reports are telling us now 00:10:19.828 --> 00:10:21.913 people should go nowhere near these things. 00:10:21.996 --> 00:10:24.415 And Chucky says we 're all going to die. 00:10:24.499 --> 00:10:26.459 Alice, who really told you that? 00:10:28.128 --> 00:10:29.462 Corporate sent cake? 00:10:29.546 --> 00:10:30.922 You don't have to eat it. 00:10:31.005 --> 00:10:32.674 It's just nice to know they... care. 00:10:32.757 --> 00:10:34.801 They don't care about shit. 00:10:34.884 --> 00:10:36.112 I'll take it to the storage area. 00:10:36.136 --> 00:10:37.679 Archie's guys will eat it. 00:10:46.146 --> 00:10:47.786 Yo, godecki, you see the line out there? 00:10:49.732 --> 00:10:51.943 Yeah, it's like something out of my nightmares. 00:10:52.902 --> 00:10:54.404 - Are you kidding me? - Old man peruso 00:10:54.487 --> 00:10:56.322 offered to give me a handy in the back alley 00:10:56.406 --> 00:10:58.199 if I promised to save him a dour Dennis. 00:10:59.993 --> 00:11:01.119 Congrats. 00:11:02.620 --> 00:11:04.247 Christopher. 00:11:04.330 --> 00:11:05.665 Happy black Friday, Anita. 00:11:05.748 --> 00:11:08.168 Green Friday. 00:11:08.251 --> 00:11:09.419 What? 00:11:09.502 --> 00:11:11.379 Corporate said black Friday was racist, 00:11:11.462 --> 00:11:13.798 so they changed it to green Friday. 00:11:13.882 --> 00:11:16.718 Green like Christmas and money. 00:11:16.801 --> 00:11:18.178 Good to know. 00:11:19.846 --> 00:11:22.015 Your undershirt is untucked. 00:11:23.266 --> 00:11:25.226 That's grounds for a write-up. 00:11:31.900 --> 00:11:33.443 Hey, guys. 00:11:33.526 --> 00:11:35.653 Hey, daddy's at work. Look. 00:11:35.737 --> 00:11:37.947 Ho, ho, ho, ho! 00:11:44.871 --> 00:11:47.373 - Jesus fucking Christ, man. - Come on, please. 00:11:47.457 --> 00:11:49.167 - Fuck. - Bathroom. 00:11:49.250 --> 00:11:51.753 - Okay, okay. - I'm parking a buick, man. 00:11:51.836 --> 00:11:53.504 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 00:11:53.588 --> 00:11:55.715 It's in the back room, okay? 00:12:09.938 --> 00:12:11.731 Black Friday. 00:12:11.814 --> 00:12:13.650 What a bunch of suckers. 00:12:25.370 --> 00:12:26.871 Shit! 00:12:29.916 --> 00:12:31.376 Yo, Chris! 00:12:33.544 --> 00:12:36.214 Yo, Chris, open up! I'm locked out here again, bro. 00:12:38.675 --> 00:12:40.635 Chris, come on! 00:12:40.718 --> 00:12:42.446 Don't make me take the main entrance with those... 00:12:42.470 --> 00:12:44.389 Shoppers. 00:12:50.270 --> 00:12:51.479 My man. 00:12:51.562 --> 00:12:53.231 You know I hold things down. 00:12:53.314 --> 00:12:56.359 That's "hold you down." 00:12:56.442 --> 00:12:58.403 I'll... I'll get it, I swear. 00:12:58.486 --> 00:13:00.238 Thank you. 00:13:00.321 --> 00:13:02.198 How about a nonsexual back rub? 00:13:03.199 --> 00:13:04.117 Please don't. 00:13:04.200 --> 00:13:05.827 All right. 00:13:05.910 --> 00:13:08.329 More for me then, right? 00:13:08.413 --> 00:13:10.533 You see they gave Anita employee of the month again? 00:13:11.457 --> 00:13:13.334 Yeah, I saw that. 00:13:13.418 --> 00:13:15.378 Fucking Jonathan, right? 00:13:15.461 --> 00:13:17.755 I came in early five times this pay period. 00:13:17.839 --> 00:13:19.757 He made me learn how to work a fucking forklift 00:13:19.841 --> 00:13:21.384 all for nothing. 00:13:21.467 --> 00:13:22.593 It might come in handy 00:13:22.677 --> 00:13:25.221 if you ever need to do some forklifting. 00:13:26.264 --> 00:13:27.849 Everybody listen up. 00:13:39.235 --> 00:13:43.364 Happy black Friday, we luv toys. 00:13:43.448 --> 00:13:45.742 Some quick notes before we open our doors. 00:13:45.825 --> 00:13:48.536 First off... 00:13:48.619 --> 00:13:50.621 From osha. 00:13:50.705 --> 00:13:53.082 Uh, statistically when it comes to retail, 00:13:53.166 --> 00:13:56.753 there's no day more harmful to retail workers than this day. 00:13:56.836 --> 00:13:59.005 Remember, osha changed their rules 00:13:59.088 --> 00:14:01.758 after somebody was trampled to death. 00:14:01.841 --> 00:14:05.636 So look out for each other, okay? 00:14:05.720 --> 00:14:08.348 Also, dour Dennis has been recalled, 00:14:08.431 --> 00:14:10.516 so if anybody asks for it, we don't have it. 00:14:10.600 --> 00:14:11.934 We never had it. 00:14:12.018 --> 00:14:13.895 Some safety issue with the battery. 00:14:13.978 --> 00:14:15.831 - I'm not... - I'm not... I'm not doing well. 00:14:15.855 --> 00:14:17.541 Doing well... doing... doing... Doing well... doing well. 00:14:17.565 --> 00:14:21.027 I'm... i'm... i'm... i'm... I'm exhausted, exhausted. 00:14:21.110 --> 00:14:22.987 Uh, finally, 00:14:23.071 --> 00:14:27.241 um, corporate has contacted me to inform you 00:14:27.325 --> 00:14:30.620 that they will not be able to offer paid breaks tonight. 00:14:30.703 --> 00:14:32.580 Thank you for your understanding. 00:14:32.663 --> 00:14:34.624 Fuck this. 00:14:36.209 --> 00:14:38.378 Let's quell this sitch, please. 00:14:43.549 --> 00:14:46.260 I know that this is not ideal, 00:14:46.344 --> 00:14:49.514 but this is a really big night. 00:14:49.597 --> 00:14:52.767 I would hate for a sour mood to ruin our sales. 00:14:52.850 --> 00:14:54.644 What about our holiday bonus? 00:14:54.727 --> 00:14:56.437 Corporate promised us time and a half 00:14:56.521 --> 00:14:57.730 for the holiday weekend. 00:14:58.940 --> 00:15:00.483 Yes. 00:15:00.566 --> 00:15:03.319 That is still... 00:15:03.403 --> 00:15:04.654 Yes. 00:15:05.780 --> 00:15:07.198 All right, game faces, team. 00:15:07.281 --> 00:15:09.325 I want smiles. 00:15:09.409 --> 00:15:11.536 What do we love? 00:15:11.619 --> 00:15:12.912 Toys! 00:15:17.583 --> 00:15:19.627 Ugh. 00:15:19.710 --> 00:15:23.631 I got a migra... migraine. 00:15:23.714 --> 00:15:25.299 My back hurts, hurts, hurts. 00:15:27.176 --> 00:15:29.470 Chris, back here. 00:15:29.554 --> 00:15:31.639 I'm not myself. 00:15:31.722 --> 00:15:33.850 You're on reg for the night. 00:15:33.933 --> 00:15:35.476 All night? 00:15:35.560 --> 00:15:38.646 - We're short-staffed. - We need the coverage up front. 00:15:38.729 --> 00:15:41.357 I'm not doing well, well, well. 00:15:41.441 --> 00:15:43.734 Looks like your massage will have to wait. 00:15:43.818 --> 00:15:45.445 Bye, Chris. 00:15:45.528 --> 00:15:46.588 Yet others are going through much worse, 00:15:46.612 --> 00:15:48.322 through much worse. 00:15:48.406 --> 00:15:50.783 Wait, mister? Wait up. 00:15:53.411 --> 00:15:55.538 Marnie said I should shadow you. 00:15:55.621 --> 00:15:57.582 I'm Emmett, but you can call me em. 00:15:59.709 --> 00:16:00.960 No, I can't. 00:16:02.712 --> 00:16:04.797 You, uh... 00:16:04.881 --> 00:16:06.799 You ever work retail before? 00:16:06.883 --> 00:16:08.217 - Never. - No? 00:16:09.385 --> 00:16:12.722 Well, uh... 00:16:12.805 --> 00:16:14.640 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret 00:16:14.724 --> 00:16:16.976 only a pro like me knows. 00:16:17.059 --> 00:16:19.312 Yeah. 00:16:19.395 --> 00:16:22.648 When I find myself in a pickle... 00:16:22.732 --> 00:16:27.862 I take a deep breath and I think to myself... 00:16:27.945 --> 00:16:29.655 "What would an idiot do?" 00:16:29.739 --> 00:16:32.450 For example, okay? 00:16:32.533 --> 00:16:34.303 If some crazy lady comes up to me and asks me, 00:16:34.327 --> 00:16:35.661 "where's the Duncan yo-yos?" 00:16:35.745 --> 00:16:37.371 I'd... 00:16:37.455 --> 00:16:39.290 Escort them to the yo-yo section and then... 00:16:39.373 --> 00:16:41.000 No. 00:16:41.083 --> 00:16:43.419 No. No. You're already trying too hard. 00:16:43.503 --> 00:16:45.105 You point them in the direction of fucking wherever 00:16:45.129 --> 00:16:47.507 - and they'll find it, yeah? - Yeah. 00:16:47.590 --> 00:16:48.591 - Okay? - Yeah. 00:16:48.674 --> 00:16:49.967 - All right? - Okay. 00:16:50.051 --> 00:16:51.445 All right, get on out of here, youngster. 00:16:51.469 --> 00:16:53.262 Hey, team, remember: 00:16:53.346 --> 00:16:55.389 No matter how bad these suburban savages 00:16:55.473 --> 00:16:57.725 get under your skin, the customer is always right. 00:16:57.808 --> 00:16:59.977 Whoo! Yes! It's go time. 00:17:00.061 --> 00:17:01.437 Places, everyone. 00:17:01.521 --> 00:17:03.940 Smiles, please. Holiday cheer. 00:17:04.023 --> 00:17:10.154 I want faces that love toys. 00:17:10.238 --> 00:17:13.658 Brian, unleash the beast in... 00:17:13.741 --> 00:17:14.742 Five... 00:17:16.244 --> 00:17:18.037 Foun 00:17:18.120 --> 00:17:20.540 three, 00:17:20.623 --> 00:17:22.375 two. 00:17:22.458 --> 00:17:23.751 Go, baby! 00:17:23.834 --> 00:17:26.420 Go, black Friday! 00:17:30.508 --> 00:17:33.052 Christmas is canceled this year 00:17:33.135 --> 00:17:35.304 let's get the fuck outta here 00:17:35.388 --> 00:17:39.517 Christmas is canceled forever 00:17:39.600 --> 00:17:41.978 no need to cut out the trees 00:17:42.061 --> 00:17:44.146 and we can stay enemies 00:17:44.230 --> 00:17:47.650 Christmas is canceled for good 00:17:47.733 --> 00:17:49.277 stop it! 00:17:49.360 --> 00:17:51.028 Christmas is canceled this year 00:17:51.112 --> 00:17:52.947 let's get the fuck outta here 00:17:53.030 --> 00:17:57.368 Christmas is canceled forever 00:17:57.451 --> 00:17:59.537 no need to cut out the trees 00:17:59.620 --> 00:18:01.747 and we can stay enemies 00:18:01.831 --> 00:18:04.500 Christmas is canceled for good 00:18:04.584 --> 00:18:06.127 aw, man! 00:18:06.210 --> 00:18:08.462 Christmas is canceled this year 00:18:08.546 --> 00:18:10.631 let's get the fuck outta here 00:18:10.715 --> 00:18:14.885 Christmas is canceled forever 00:18:14.969 --> 00:18:17.305 no need to cut out the trees 00:18:17.388 --> 00:18:19.307 and we can stay enemies 00:18:19.390 --> 00:18:24.478 Christmas is canceled for good 00:18:26.897 --> 00:18:28.566 Good job. 00:18:31.694 --> 00:18:33.738 - Thank you very much. - Happy holidays. 00:18:36.616 --> 00:18:37.742 Will you hurry up? 00:18:37.825 --> 00:18:39.076 Ma'am, I'm trying. 00:18:39.160 --> 00:18:41.120 Oh, get it together, dickless! 00:18:49.170 --> 00:18:50.170 Ugh. 00:18:54.383 --> 00:18:56.177 Hey, my turn. 00:19:02.808 --> 00:19:04.810 Oh, oh! 00:19:04.894 --> 00:19:08.314 Oh, I must have been good this year! 00:19:08.397 --> 00:19:09.940 Oh, Santa! 00:19:13.069 --> 00:19:14.278 What's the sitch here? 00:19:14.362 --> 00:19:17.323 Oh, pussy boy here is taking forever. 00:19:17.406 --> 00:19:18.949 There's, like, jam in the keyboard. 00:19:19.033 --> 00:19:20.534 Ah. 00:19:22.912 --> 00:19:23.972 Sorry, folks, looks like I'm gonna 00:19:23.996 --> 00:19:25.289 have to shut this Lane down. 00:19:28.626 --> 00:19:31.087 Ma'am, if you would head back to the Santa's rear village, 00:19:31.170 --> 00:19:33.130 - someone will meet you there. - Ugh! 00:19:33.214 --> 00:19:34.840 Dude, what the hell? 00:19:36.050 --> 00:19:37.468 Full discloszh, 00:19:37.551 --> 00:19:40.638 some guy just blew chunks all over the ride-ons. 00:19:40.721 --> 00:19:42.014 You're cleaning it up. 00:19:45.226 --> 00:19:47.103 Th-throw up? Um... 00:19:47.186 --> 00:19:49.146 It's... it's a little germy, no? 00:19:49.230 --> 00:19:51.607 What about the floor workers? 00:19:51.691 --> 00:19:54.318 But I thought you preferred the floor. 00:19:55.903 --> 00:19:57.613 Sawdust's in the maint's closet. 00:20:02.284 --> 00:20:04.286 Ah, these fucking idiot customers. 00:20:06.872 --> 00:20:08.249 Idiots! 00:20:08.332 --> 00:20:10.000 Is that what you think we are? 00:20:10.084 --> 00:20:11.460 Jesus Christ, lady. 00:20:11.544 --> 00:20:12.837 You watch your mouth, asshole, 00:20:12.920 --> 00:20:15.256 or I'll rip this place apart, including you! 00:20:17.675 --> 00:20:19.552 I believe you. 00:20:33.274 --> 00:20:35.901 Deep breaths. It's just barf. 00:20:35.985 --> 00:20:38.279 You don't have to touch it. Don't breathe around it. 00:20:39.989 --> 00:20:41.490 Aah! 00:20:41.574 --> 00:20:43.576 That's way more than I expected! 00:20:48.205 --> 00:20:51.625 Okay, um, sir? 00:20:51.709 --> 00:20:53.210 Sir, let's get you some help. 00:20:57.923 --> 00:20:59.967 Oh! Holy shit! 00:21:11.937 --> 00:21:13.272 Oh, fuck! 00:21:22.490 --> 00:21:25.075 Chris, what the fuck? 00:21:25.159 --> 00:21:28.871 All customers must vacate the premises of we luv toys. 00:21:28.954 --> 00:21:30.956 We apologize for the inconvenience. 00:21:32.082 --> 00:21:34.168 All customers must vacate the premises... 00:21:34.251 --> 00:21:36.378 Yo, took me two years, 00:21:36.462 --> 00:21:37.814 but I finally got the hang of this thing. 00:21:37.838 --> 00:21:39.048 Look at that. 00:21:39.131 --> 00:21:40.442 Whoa, whoa, watch this, watch this. 00:21:40.466 --> 00:21:42.510 Oh! 00:21:42.593 --> 00:21:44.595 So what exactly happened with that Chris guy? 00:21:46.555 --> 00:21:48.307 I don't know. 00:21:48.390 --> 00:21:50.768 I think he smashed some woman with a mini pink SUV. 00:21:55.147 --> 00:21:56.941 Right. 00:22:00.903 --> 00:22:02.154 Um, ma'am, I'm sorry, 00:22:02.238 --> 00:22:03.864 but we're actually closing early tonight. 00:22:07.910 --> 00:22:09.954 What happened? 00:22:10.037 --> 00:22:11.622 I don't know. 00:22:11.705 --> 00:22:13.916 Came out, and it was a fucking disaster. 00:22:16.585 --> 00:22:19.046 Okay. Go check it out. 00:22:19.129 --> 00:22:20.339 I'll keep an eye on Chris. 00:22:21.924 --> 00:22:23.133 I'll be back. 00:22:32.643 --> 00:22:34.687 I told you guys. 00:22:34.770 --> 00:22:37.523 I am sorry that I crushed that woman. 00:22:37.606 --> 00:22:39.733 But... 00:22:39.817 --> 00:22:41.318 Check the security footage! 00:22:41.402 --> 00:22:43.279 We don't have to check shit. 00:22:43.362 --> 00:22:45.155 This is a citizen's arrest. 00:22:47.533 --> 00:22:50.619 There is something really wrong out there. 00:22:50.703 --> 00:22:53.455 Yes, something is really wrong. 00:22:53.539 --> 00:22:55.249 We're one hour into black Friday 00:22:55.332 --> 00:22:57.877 and we're escorting customers away from the store? 00:22:57.960 --> 00:22:59.962 Yeah, of course that's his concern. 00:23:00.045 --> 00:23:03.215 - No, no, no, marnie, wait. - Please, you have to believe me. 00:23:03.299 --> 00:23:05.217 She attacked me. 00:23:05.301 --> 00:23:06.719 Ask Archie. 00:23:06.802 --> 00:23:08.697 Archie went to go check on that nasty puke bitch 00:23:08.721 --> 00:23:11.307 you attempted to murder. 00:23:11.390 --> 00:23:14.184 You're going to jail, Chris. 00:23:16.145 --> 00:23:18.063 Uh, miss? 00:23:19.648 --> 00:23:21.358 Oh, oh, my god. 00:23:23.152 --> 00:23:24.695 No, no, no! 00:23:24.778 --> 00:23:26.238 Aah! No! 00:23:29.992 --> 00:23:31.702 Shit! 00:23:38.167 --> 00:23:39.501 Come on, kid. Let's go! 00:23:46.592 --> 00:23:49.219 What the hell is going on out there? 00:23:49.303 --> 00:23:51.055 This is some next-level bath salt shit. 00:23:51.138 --> 00:23:53.182 No, it's just black Friday. 00:23:53.265 --> 00:23:54.934 Excitement is in the air. 00:23:55.017 --> 00:23:56.644 - Green Friday. - That's right. 00:23:56.727 --> 00:23:58.854 Green Friday, baby. It's all part of the fun. 00:23:58.938 --> 00:24:01.065 It's known as competitive shopping. 00:24:01.148 --> 00:24:03.734 Anita got a black eye last year and she took it like a champ. 00:24:03.817 --> 00:24:05.152 No, no. Fuck that. 00:24:05.235 --> 00:24:07.279 Some woman just attacked Emmett. 00:24:07.363 --> 00:24:09.573 It's like she wasn't a person anymore. 00:24:09.657 --> 00:24:11.533 I hit her with a fucking skateboard. 00:24:11.617 --> 00:24:12.743 She didn't even feel it. 00:24:14.161 --> 00:24:16.205 - Try calling the cops. - Oh, no. No. 00:24:16.288 --> 00:24:18.499 Do not call the cops. 00:24:18.582 --> 00:24:19.917 Are you kidding? 00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:22.127 You call the cops, and this place shuts down. 00:24:22.211 --> 00:24:23.462 Now, if we work efficiently, 00:24:23.545 --> 00:24:25.172 we can reopen by maybe 2:00 am. 00:24:25.255 --> 00:24:27.925 Reopen? Are you insane? 00:24:28.008 --> 00:24:30.928 - Line's busy. - I got their voice mail. 00:24:31.011 --> 00:24:32.638 Did you know the police had a voice mail? 00:24:32.721 --> 00:24:34.598 This is the biggest night of the year, okay? 00:24:34.682 --> 00:24:38.060 Corporate expects us to do six figures this weekend. 00:24:38.143 --> 00:24:39.937 I'm sure corporate will understand. 00:24:40.020 --> 00:24:41.772 Relax. Okay? 00:24:41.855 --> 00:24:44.525 I know we all want to go home. It's a holiday. 00:24:44.608 --> 00:24:46.568 Blardy blardy blar. Let me tell you something... 00:24:46.652 --> 00:24:48.320 What was wrong with that lady? 00:24:48.404 --> 00:24:49.989 Am I gonna be okay? 00:24:55.786 --> 00:24:58.038 Hey, bud. 00:24:58.122 --> 00:24:59.498 Can I get you anything? 00:24:59.581 --> 00:25:00.958 Oh, man. 00:25:01.041 --> 00:25:03.335 There is something wrong with the shoppers. 00:25:03.419 --> 00:25:04.753 Christopher, 00:25:04.837 --> 00:25:07.756 you are not supposed to provoke the customers. 00:25:07.840 --> 00:25:09.883 The training video says... 00:25:09.967 --> 00:25:12.511 leave them be and then you'll see 00:25:12.594 --> 00:25:15.597 the love of toys is all we need 00:25:15.681 --> 00:25:19.685 Anita, please shut the fuck up! 00:25:22.021 --> 00:25:24.148 You wonder why you never get employee of the month. 00:25:24.231 --> 00:25:26.233 You know what? 00:25:26.316 --> 00:25:27.901 No one gives a flying fuck 00:25:27.985 --> 00:25:30.404 about your training videos or your plaques, Anita. 00:25:30.487 --> 00:25:34.241 Oh, I know you don't, but there are those who do. 00:25:34.324 --> 00:25:37.661 The ones who don't care are the ones like you two, 00:25:37.745 --> 00:25:41.707 'cause you have squandered every single opportunity 00:25:41.790 --> 00:25:45.127 that life has handed to you to do a subparjob 00:25:45.210 --> 00:25:47.755 ringing people up at we luv toys 00:25:47.838 --> 00:25:49.965 for the rest of your life! 00:25:52.176 --> 00:25:53.278 - Stand back. Stand back. - Stand back. 00:25:53.302 --> 00:25:54.762 I got this. I got this. 00:25:54.845 --> 00:25:56.805 Hey, buddy. You all right? 00:25:56.889 --> 00:25:58.098 Here, come here. Come here. 00:25:58.182 --> 00:25:59.850 Hey, buddy. Hey. Okay. 00:25:59.933 --> 00:26:01.518 Okay. Spit it out. 00:26:01.602 --> 00:26:03.228 Holy fuck! 00:26:03.312 --> 00:26:05.397 Uh, okay. All right. 00:26:05.481 --> 00:26:07.983 You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. Hey. 00:26:08.067 --> 00:26:10.194 Somebody get me a fucking pillow! 00:26:12.446 --> 00:26:14.948 - Okay. Okay. Fuck! - Move! 00:26:15.032 --> 00:26:17.534 Okay. Okay. 00:26:17.618 --> 00:26:19.661 The handbook says we're not really supposed 00:26:19.745 --> 00:26:21.330 to make physical contact. 00:26:38.263 --> 00:26:40.516 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 00:26:40.599 --> 00:26:42.434 - Okay, okay! Enough! - Enough! Enough! 00:26:42.518 --> 00:26:44.520 Protect me. 00:26:44.603 --> 00:26:46.814 Oh, god! 00:26:46.897 --> 00:26:49.650 Hey, corporate sent that! 00:26:49.733 --> 00:26:51.110 Back the fuck up, homey! 00:26:51.193 --> 00:26:52.611 Hey! 00:26:52.694 --> 00:26:54.404 You're fucked now, junior! 00:26:54.488 --> 00:26:56.615 Sit your ass down. 00:27:02.788 --> 00:27:04.164 Was that the new guy? 00:27:11.171 --> 00:27:12.631 Hello? 00:27:12.714 --> 00:27:14.967 Anyone? 00:27:15.050 --> 00:27:16.718 Bartlett won't pick up. 00:27:16.802 --> 00:27:17.946 We've got to separate that kid 00:27:17.970 --> 00:27:19.471 from the rest of the shoppers. 00:27:19.555 --> 00:27:21.282 You know, the first time I worked black Friday, 00:27:21.306 --> 00:27:23.725 they separated shoppers by race. 00:27:25.269 --> 00:27:28.480 Oh, great time for that story, Ruth! 00:27:28.564 --> 00:27:30.440 Great time for that. 00:27:30.524 --> 00:27:32.860 That's it. It's not safe in here. 00:27:32.943 --> 00:27:34.921 - Can someone please untie me? - Schaumburg answered. 00:27:34.945 --> 00:27:36.238 I got schaumburg. 00:27:37.990 --> 00:27:39.741 Hello, schaumburg. 00:27:39.825 --> 00:27:41.427 This is Jonathan wexler, manager of store... 00:27:41.451 --> 00:27:43.162 Hello? Hello? 00:27:43.245 --> 00:27:45.831 Oh, thank god. Our shoppers are going crazy. 00:27:45.914 --> 00:27:49.042 They're attacking us. We can't get out! 00:27:49.126 --> 00:27:50.669 Wait. What? 00:27:50.752 --> 00:27:52.087 Listen to me. 00:27:52.171 --> 00:27:54.047 Whatever you do, don't let them in. 00:27:54.131 --> 00:27:56.800 And for the love of god, don't let them gather. 00:27:56.884 --> 00:27:58.135 They're building something. 00:27:58.218 --> 00:27:59.678 What? 00:27:59.761 --> 00:28:01.763 - Get... I need... - Just don't let them gather! 00:28:01.847 --> 00:28:03.223 - Don't let them... - Hello? 00:28:04.433 --> 00:28:05.976 Hello! 00:28:06.059 --> 00:28:08.103 Okay, hang up. 00:28:09.354 --> 00:28:11.565 Oh, we gotta do something. 00:28:12.316 --> 00:28:14.818 I mean, dying in a toy store isn't how it ends for me. 00:28:16.904 --> 00:28:18.864 Does anyone have a car big enough to fit us all? 00:28:20.282 --> 00:28:22.075 Dad-mobile. 00:28:22.159 --> 00:28:24.411 Fits seven, but, you know, we could all squeeze. 00:28:24.494 --> 00:28:26.288 - Ew. - Brian, don't start. 00:28:26.371 --> 00:28:27.956 Ken's truck won't be enough. 00:28:28.040 --> 00:28:29.360 There's people on the sales floor. 00:28:29.416 --> 00:28:30.727 So we gotta make a run for it, right? 00:28:30.751 --> 00:28:32.461 Do we? 00:28:32.544 --> 00:28:33.771 We don't even know what these things are or what they want. 00:28:33.795 --> 00:28:35.214 They want to hurt us. 00:28:35.297 --> 00:28:38.133 Oh, yeah, speaking of, can someone please untie me? 00:28:39.343 --> 00:28:41.345 Ruth can't run. 00:28:41.428 --> 00:28:45.557 - Survival of the fittest... - And non-geriatric. 00:28:45.641 --> 00:28:47.601 Those things are the fittest. 00:28:47.684 --> 00:28:49.645 You saw Emmett. 00:28:49.728 --> 00:28:52.231 We have to stay here and protect ourselves. 00:28:52.314 --> 00:28:54.566 Who knows where else this is happening? 00:28:54.650 --> 00:28:57.778 I say we get everyone together on the sales floor, 00:28:57.861 --> 00:29:00.447 lock the doors, hang tight till this shit cools off. 00:29:02.658 --> 00:29:04.858 You guys are gonna feel dumb when this all blows over. 00:29:09.790 --> 00:29:12.417 Jonathan, this isn't blowing over. 00:29:14.795 --> 00:29:17.422 You know, the company sends me this cheap champagne 00:29:17.506 --> 00:29:19.299 for making our sales goals. 00:29:19.383 --> 00:29:23.553 Now, they expect me to generate revenue tonight. 00:29:23.637 --> 00:29:25.389 That's my job. 00:29:27.099 --> 00:29:29.518 Your job is to be our manager. 00:29:29.601 --> 00:29:33.105 Protect us. Manage us. 00:29:34.648 --> 00:29:36.024 I can't. 00:29:43.323 --> 00:29:44.323 Let's move. Come on. 00:29:44.366 --> 00:29:46.076 Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. 00:29:49.579 --> 00:29:51.766 Find anyone you can and reconvene at the service desk. 00:29:51.790 --> 00:29:53.125 Oh, and look out for Emmett. 00:29:53.208 --> 00:29:55.877 The less we have to interact with the shoppers... 00:29:55.961 --> 00:29:57.170 The better. 00:29:57.254 --> 00:29:58.422 Where is everyb... oh. 00:29:58.505 --> 00:30:00.090 Shh. 00:30:12.894 --> 00:30:14.730 How did all these shoppers get in here? 00:30:16.356 --> 00:30:17.458 The team must've tried toleave 00:30:17.482 --> 00:30:19.568 through the employee exit. 00:30:19.651 --> 00:30:21.653 Who knows how many of those things got in? 00:30:21.737 --> 00:30:23.530 I say we split up. 00:30:23.613 --> 00:30:26.033 Close that door. Secure the store. 00:30:26.116 --> 00:30:28.785 Ken, you take Ruth and marnie through the back hall. 00:30:28.869 --> 00:30:30.662 Hole up in the office until we get back. 00:30:30.746 --> 00:30:32.039 Yeah. 00:30:32.122 --> 00:30:34.166 Chris, Brian, Jonathan, 00:30:34.249 --> 00:30:36.418 we're gonna run recon to that exit. 00:30:36.501 --> 00:30:38.503 No, no, I should be with the other group 00:30:38.587 --> 00:30:40.881 'cause Brian represents me on the sales floor. 00:30:42.632 --> 00:30:46.011 I will carry your grace to the sales floor as always. 00:30:46.094 --> 00:30:47.094 Let's just go. 00:30:57.189 --> 00:30:58.549 Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. 00:31:17.417 --> 00:31:18.710 Where you going? 00:31:20.003 --> 00:31:21.003 To the bathroom. 00:31:21.046 --> 00:31:22.172 Why? 00:31:22.255 --> 00:31:23.673 'Cause I have to go. 00:31:23.757 --> 00:31:25.217 Ooh, I gotta go too. 00:31:25.300 --> 00:31:26.760 I've been holding it. 00:31:35.560 --> 00:31:38.688 Your man, so hunky. 00:31:38.772 --> 00:31:40.565 They don't make 'em like that anymore. 00:31:40.649 --> 00:31:43.068 You know, fierce. Stern. 00:31:43.151 --> 00:31:45.278 A real smolder. 00:31:45.362 --> 00:31:47.614 - Ruth, he's not my man. - We're not dating, okay? 00:31:47.697 --> 00:31:49.616 - Oh! - Or... it doesn't matter. 00:31:49.699 --> 00:31:53.495 Oh, so... so more like consensual fuck partners. 00:31:55.497 --> 00:31:56.957 Wow. 00:32:05.215 --> 00:32:07.384 Follow me. Stay low. 00:32:41.168 --> 00:32:42.669 Oh, no, no, no, no! 00:32:47.591 --> 00:32:50.552 What part of "follow me" did you not understand? 00:32:50.635 --> 00:32:52.053 Follow me. 00:32:56.349 --> 00:32:57.827 Hey, so let me know if you leave the bathroom, 00:32:57.851 --> 00:32:59.895 'cause I can always pinch and run, okay? 00:33:08.195 --> 00:33:09.988 - Gotcha! - What are you doing? 00:33:10.071 --> 00:33:12.032 Getting my stash, man. 00:33:13.116 --> 00:33:14.910 You can't do that! 00:33:14.993 --> 00:33:16.429 Circumstances have changed, Jonathan. 00:33:16.453 --> 00:33:17.787 That's against the code! 00:33:29.466 --> 00:33:31.343 - Oh, no. - What? What's going on? 00:33:36.556 --> 00:33:38.156 We gotta get to that door. 00:33:38.225 --> 00:33:40.060 Let's go. 00:33:40.143 --> 00:33:41.478 Brian, step back. 00:33:59.746 --> 00:34:01.331 We're clear. 00:34:16.721 --> 00:34:18.682 All set. Come on. 00:34:21.351 --> 00:34:23.895 - So what do we do now? - They... they got the door shut. 00:34:30.819 --> 00:34:32.404 What are the shoppers doing? 00:34:36.616 --> 00:34:39.244 Ruth, wait here. 00:34:39.327 --> 00:34:40.829 Okay. 00:35:56.738 --> 00:35:58.865 You park that buick? 00:36:02.160 --> 00:36:03.203 - Johnathan! - Shit! 00:36:16.883 --> 00:36:17.967 Jonathan! 00:36:25.558 --> 00:36:27.644 Oh! 00:36:55.463 --> 00:36:57.257 Are we safe up here? 00:36:57.340 --> 00:36:58.550 Define safe. 00:37:03.596 --> 00:37:05.807 Ken, come on. 00:37:05.890 --> 00:37:07.475 I think we were safer in my office. 00:37:08.518 --> 00:37:10.238 - The doors are closed. - Now we wait, yeah? 00:37:10.311 --> 00:37:12.230 No, no, no. We can't wait. 00:37:12.313 --> 00:37:14.399 I'm with her. 00:37:14.482 --> 00:37:16.276 Lou was in there and he was trying to eat me 00:37:16.359 --> 00:37:17.944 or pull me into him. 00:37:18.027 --> 00:37:20.029 - He was trying to... - Gather? 00:37:20.113 --> 00:37:21.489 Exactly. 00:37:21.573 --> 00:37:22.907 Just like schaumburg said. 00:37:22.991 --> 00:37:24.427 Yeah, they're doing it at Santa's village. 00:37:24.451 --> 00:37:25.785 I saw something. 00:37:25.869 --> 00:37:27.304 I don't know what it was, but I think the shoppers 00:37:27.328 --> 00:37:28.597 are trying to reach each other and... 00:37:28.621 --> 00:37:30.749 At this point, we're just in their way. 00:37:30.832 --> 00:37:32.184 We're gonna have to fight whatever's left. 00:37:32.208 --> 00:37:33.668 Whoa, whoa. 00:37:33.752 --> 00:37:35.086 God damn it. 00:37:35.170 --> 00:37:36.671 What's wrong? 00:37:36.755 --> 00:37:38.631 I can't get dinner with my kids. 00:37:38.715 --> 00:37:40.759 I can't get a drink at work. 00:37:40.842 --> 00:37:43.636 I can't even get a goddamn text to send. 00:37:45.430 --> 00:37:47.223 Uh... I'll go get that. 00:37:48.475 --> 00:37:51.102 - You know what? - I'm getting my bonus 00:37:51.186 --> 00:37:52.645 and I'm getting the fuck outta here. 00:37:52.729 --> 00:37:54.606 Are you fucking kidding me? 00:37:54.689 --> 00:37:55.982 Jonathan, give me the keys. 00:37:56.065 --> 00:37:57.776 Oh, uh... 00:37:57.859 --> 00:37:59.944 I left the keys in my office. 00:38:00.987 --> 00:38:02.280 Archie. 00:38:14.042 --> 00:38:15.460 Where's the holiday bonuses? 00:38:18.505 --> 00:38:20.840 Are they, like, in your office or something? 00:38:20.924 --> 00:38:23.009 I thought that I told you 00:38:23.092 --> 00:38:26.888 that there were gonna be no holiday bonuses this year. 00:38:28.181 --> 00:38:29.808 What the fuck? 00:38:29.891 --> 00:38:32.310 Jonathan, this is bullshit even for you. 00:38:35.939 --> 00:38:38.191 That's not what you told me. 00:38:38.274 --> 00:38:41.528 All you said was that there'd be layoffs after the holidays. 00:38:41.611 --> 00:38:45.490 Whoa! What the hell? Like who? 00:38:45.573 --> 00:38:47.659 I mean, fo' sho' you with them bathroom breaks. 00:38:47.742 --> 00:38:49.327 I wash my fucking hands! 00:38:49.410 --> 00:38:50.805 This place is a cesspool! 00:38:50.829 --> 00:38:52.914 Hey, guys, shut up. 00:38:52.997 --> 00:38:55.834 Jonathan, is this true? 00:38:55.917 --> 00:38:57.961 Little girl 00:38:58.044 --> 00:38:59.838 well... 00:38:59.921 --> 00:39:02.799 It isn't not untrue. 00:39:02.882 --> 00:39:04.968 - Oh, my god. - I mean, yeah, yes, it's true. 00:39:08.263 --> 00:39:11.015 I quit, you fucking joke. 00:39:11.099 --> 00:39:12.141 For your nose. 00:39:14.269 --> 00:39:16.729 Ruth, get away from the window. 00:39:16.813 --> 00:39:18.773 No, the police are here. 00:39:18.857 --> 00:39:21.025 Oh, thank god! 00:39:32.287 --> 00:39:34.956 Hey, Brian, wait up! 00:39:38.668 --> 00:39:40.420 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 00:39:59.689 --> 00:40:01.608 Oh, god! 00:40:08.907 --> 00:40:10.107 They're all headed for that. 00:40:11.659 --> 00:40:13.328 What is that thing? 00:40:13.411 --> 00:40:14.411 Let's go. 00:40:18.833 --> 00:40:20.043 Chris, go. 00:40:20.126 --> 00:40:21.961 No, man. 00:40:22.045 --> 00:40:25.173 Chris, I'ma hold you down. 00:40:25.256 --> 00:40:26.716 Now go. Go! 00:40:50.657 --> 00:40:53.368 Got your doorbusters right here, motherfucker. 00:41:26.109 --> 00:41:28.111 _ 00:41:39.497 --> 00:41:41.457 _ 00:42:16.701 --> 00:42:17.785 Oh! 00:42:26.419 --> 00:42:27.837 Ken, block the door! 00:42:42.894 --> 00:42:43.978 Oh! 00:42:54.363 --> 00:42:55.948 They're never really dead. 00:42:59.452 --> 00:43:00.703 Archie? 00:43:05.041 --> 00:43:07.794 If they got to him, what the hell are we gonna do? 00:43:07.877 --> 00:43:10.004 I don't think this night can get any worse. 00:43:16.385 --> 00:43:19.013 Okay. 00:43:19.097 --> 00:43:20.807 Does anybody else just think that's funny? 00:43:24.727 --> 00:43:26.447 How long do you think that door will hold? 00:43:28.689 --> 00:43:31.484 It's the only idea we've got and it's gotten us this far. 00:43:31.567 --> 00:43:33.694 It's safe for now. 00:43:35.279 --> 00:43:37.240 My name is Emmett, and I have loved toys 00:43:37.323 --> 00:43:38.783 since the first of the month. 00:43:48.167 --> 00:43:50.461 I think that that is the shortest 00:43:50.545 --> 00:43:51.754 anyone has ever worked here. 00:44:01.806 --> 00:44:04.934 I have loved toys for eight years. 00:44:06.936 --> 00:44:08.646 I wanted to be a dentist, you know. 00:44:11.607 --> 00:44:13.860 Ten years. 00:44:13.943 --> 00:44:15.278 Got laid off. 00:44:16.779 --> 00:44:18.614 Told my wife it'd be temporary. 00:44:24.203 --> 00:44:25.621 Four years. 00:44:27.331 --> 00:44:29.959 I'd throw my name tag in the middle, but I lost mine. 00:44:33.880 --> 00:44:35.006 Two years. 00:44:36.257 --> 00:44:37.633 Imagine making your living 00:44:37.717 --> 00:44:39.277 at the place you begged your mom and dad 00:44:39.343 --> 00:44:40.783 to take you to when you were younger. 00:44:47.894 --> 00:44:51.314 I ran home to tell my dad after I got hired, 00:44:51.397 --> 00:44:52.773 and he goes... 00:44:55.067 --> 00:44:56.903 "Welcome to corporate hell, kid." 00:44:58.362 --> 00:45:00.907 This place isn't impressive. 00:45:00.990 --> 00:45:04.577 It isn't fun or magical. 00:45:04.660 --> 00:45:06.287 It's a prison. 00:45:06.370 --> 00:45:07.788 It's a ruse. 00:45:10.750 --> 00:45:11.834 It's a lie. 00:45:13.502 --> 00:45:14.921 Well, that just sucks, you know, 00:45:15.004 --> 00:45:17.882 'cause I always saw you as manager material. 00:45:21.510 --> 00:45:23.012 Shut up, Jonathan. 00:45:24.889 --> 00:45:29.018 You guys want to know why I applied here 27 years ago? 00:45:30.269 --> 00:45:32.063 I was lonely. 00:45:32.146 --> 00:45:33.790 I believe that there's a place for everyone, 00:45:33.814 --> 00:45:36.525 and this is my place. 00:45:36.609 --> 00:45:38.027 It's a place where you have worth, 00:45:38.110 --> 00:45:40.321 where regional managers call you and ask for numbers, 00:45:40.404 --> 00:45:42.907 where you can reprimand somebody 00:45:42.990 --> 00:45:46.160 and they have to listen to you. 00:45:46.244 --> 00:45:49.038 Where the women have to laugh at all your corny jokes 00:45:49.121 --> 00:45:52.041 and even the coolest guys have to obey. 00:45:53.668 --> 00:45:56.003 That's what we luv toys means to me. 00:46:01.342 --> 00:46:03.552 That's some dark shit right there. 00:46:03.636 --> 00:46:06.430 I legitimately always thought you were a serial killer. 00:46:13.354 --> 00:46:14.794 I can't believe I missed Thanksgiving 00:46:14.855 --> 00:46:17.733 with my family for this. 00:46:17.817 --> 00:46:20.695 Well, at least you were invited to a Thanksgiving. 00:46:22.488 --> 00:46:25.574 I'm sorry. Truly. 00:46:30.329 --> 00:46:31.580 What are you doing? 00:46:54.854 --> 00:46:56.689 No one should be without Thanksgiving. 00:47:00.026 --> 00:47:01.152 Turkey. 00:47:02.486 --> 00:47:04.238 Thank you. 00:47:04.322 --> 00:47:06.115 Cranberry. 00:47:07.867 --> 00:47:09.160 Football. 00:47:11.037 --> 00:47:12.121 Black Friday. 00:47:13.831 --> 00:47:15.291 Here's some black Friday trivia. 00:47:16.625 --> 00:47:18.586 The phrase was first used by Philly cops 00:47:18.669 --> 00:47:19.962 to describe the crowds 00:47:20.046 --> 00:47:22.214 and the traffic the day after the holiday. 00:47:22.298 --> 00:47:24.425 Mm! And here's some retail trivia. 00:47:24.508 --> 00:47:28.012 The promise of savings is an illusion 00:47:28.095 --> 00:47:30.598 'cause everything they put out there is sold at a loss 00:47:30.681 --> 00:47:32.683 to get you through the door. 00:47:32.767 --> 00:47:34.643 Things are still selling for a high margin too. 00:47:34.727 --> 00:47:36.645 So yeah, sure. 00:47:36.729 --> 00:47:38.814 Go ahead and get that cheap flat-screen TV, 00:47:38.898 --> 00:47:40.983 but now you need the wall mount and the cables. 00:47:42.151 --> 00:47:43.861 Customers aren't always right. 00:47:43.944 --> 00:47:45.696 They just want to think that they are. 00:47:46.781 --> 00:47:47.698 Jesus Christ. 00:47:47.782 --> 00:47:49.367 Mm. 00:47:49.450 --> 00:47:51.619 Well, for our last Thanksgiving meal, 00:47:51.702 --> 00:47:53.829 - it sure was informative. - No. 00:47:53.913 --> 00:47:56.082 Don't say that. 00:47:56.165 --> 00:47:57.666 Don't say this is our last. 00:47:57.750 --> 00:47:59.186 I think she was just making a joke. 00:47:59.210 --> 00:48:00.795 No. I got two kids out there 00:48:00.878 --> 00:48:02.380 that I plan to see again. 00:48:02.463 --> 00:48:05.007 Calm down. We get it. 00:48:05.091 --> 00:48:06.467 You don't know shit, Chris. 00:48:08.302 --> 00:48:10.721 - You don't have a... - I don't have a what, Ken? 00:48:10.805 --> 00:48:12.681 A family that gives a shit about me? 00:48:14.683 --> 00:48:15.768 Maybe you're right. 00:48:15.851 --> 00:48:17.171 But at least I don't love it here. 00:48:18.312 --> 00:48:19.438 I don't love it here. 00:48:21.023 --> 00:48:22.608 Look at how hard you try 00:48:22.691 --> 00:48:25.152 to be the coolest person working at we luv toys. 00:48:25.236 --> 00:48:26.695 Guys, can we not do this right now? 00:48:28.406 --> 00:48:29.532 You're the one that's always 00:48:29.615 --> 00:48:31.492 trying to get employee of the month. 00:48:31.575 --> 00:48:33.160 It's a fake award, Christopher. 00:48:33.244 --> 00:48:35.204 Don't blame me for trying my best. 00:48:35.287 --> 00:48:37.081 Your best. 00:48:37.164 --> 00:48:39.291 You call this your best? 00:48:39.375 --> 00:48:42.253 I've never seen a bigger waste of potential in my life. 00:48:42.336 --> 00:48:44.880 Oh, fuck off! 00:48:44.964 --> 00:48:46.382 You try to give me all these tips 00:48:46.465 --> 00:48:49.427 about how to live and when you were my age. 00:48:49.510 --> 00:48:51.637 You're not my age. 00:48:51.720 --> 00:48:54.974 I still have time to realize that this job was a mistake. 00:48:55.057 --> 00:48:56.851 You got a lot to learn, kid. 00:48:56.934 --> 00:48:58.894 "Kid." 00:48:58.978 --> 00:49:01.105 I'm not your kid. 00:49:01.188 --> 00:49:03.441 You see me way too often to be your actual child. 00:49:12.783 --> 00:49:14.410 Don't. 00:49:14.493 --> 00:49:17.163 At least I acknowledge that this job bums me out. 00:49:17.246 --> 00:49:20.749 But, my god, you treat it like it's high school, 00:49:20.833 --> 00:49:22.793 like you're the cool guy in shop, 00:49:22.877 --> 00:49:24.753 dating someone 20 years younger than you. 00:49:24.837 --> 00:49:26.630 Okay, we're not dating. 00:49:33.471 --> 00:49:34.680 I thought we were a thing. 00:49:34.763 --> 00:49:35.890 Athing, yeah. 00:49:37.391 --> 00:49:40.186 But, Ken, you're almost my dad's age. 00:49:42.688 --> 00:49:44.356 I will fucking kill you, nerd! 00:49:45.858 --> 00:49:47.335 What about all the late-night shifts? 00:49:47.359 --> 00:49:48.837 What about the time we made out on the train table? 00:49:48.861 --> 00:49:51.405 - You did what? - We made out. 00:49:53.032 --> 00:49:54.950 It passes the time. 00:49:55.034 --> 00:49:56.660 But, Ken, I don't really know you. 00:49:58.120 --> 00:49:59.830 I've never seen you outside of the store. 00:49:59.914 --> 00:50:01.749 I mean, I've... I've never even met your kids. 00:50:03.250 --> 00:50:05.211 Would we ever go out on a date? 00:50:05.294 --> 00:50:06.754 I don't think so, right? 00:50:07.963 --> 00:50:09.215 Pancakes. 00:50:27.107 --> 00:50:28.526 So that's it? 00:50:30.277 --> 00:50:33.197 You guys all think I'm some sort of fucking loser, huh? 00:50:41.705 --> 00:50:42.790 I'm out of here. 00:50:45.376 --> 00:50:46.544 Let's go. 00:51:10.609 --> 00:51:12.486 What exactly are we looking for? 00:51:12.570 --> 00:51:13.862 I'm fresh out of ideas. 00:51:19.577 --> 00:51:22.329 There's got to be a circuit breaker or something in here. 00:51:40.264 --> 00:51:41.849 I can do you one better. 00:52:12.463 --> 00:52:14.131 Hey, what's the plan? 00:52:14.214 --> 00:52:15.633 Lou attacked you guys, right? 00:52:15.716 --> 00:52:17.476 - Damn straight. - He showed Ken what's what. 00:52:17.551 --> 00:52:18.751 Right, which means the truck 00:52:18.802 --> 00:52:20.202 is still parked in the loading dock. 00:52:20.262 --> 00:52:22.032 And the keys are still in the truck. He told me. 00:52:22.056 --> 00:52:23.256 If we bust open those locks, 00:52:23.307 --> 00:52:24.534 we can get into the bed of the truck. 00:52:24.558 --> 00:52:25.934 That's our way out of here. 00:52:26.018 --> 00:52:27.495 What happens when you get into the truck bed? 00:52:27.519 --> 00:52:28.705 I figured there's got to be a hatch 00:52:28.729 --> 00:52:30.105 to the front seat, right? 00:52:30.189 --> 00:52:32.358 Got it! Let's go. 00:52:32.441 --> 00:52:34.526 All right, team. 00:52:34.610 --> 00:52:36.278 Listen up. 00:52:36.362 --> 00:52:38.280 I've made a decision. 00:52:38.364 --> 00:52:41.408 As captain... 00:52:41.492 --> 00:52:42.868 I'm going down with the ship. 00:52:42.951 --> 00:52:44.411 - No! - I'm staying behind. 00:52:44.495 --> 00:52:45.621 That's it. 00:52:45.704 --> 00:52:48.624 We had Turkey together. 00:52:48.707 --> 00:52:50.084 And pretzels. 00:52:50.167 --> 00:52:53.212 Jonathan, now is not the time, okay? 00:52:53.295 --> 00:52:55.172 Then when is my time, huh? 00:52:57.675 --> 00:53:00.511 Call me a fool, but I love it here. 00:53:02.012 --> 00:53:03.806 This is my favorite place in the whole world, 00:53:03.889 --> 00:53:07.017 and it would be an honor to stay with the store 00:53:07.101 --> 00:53:09.186 in its final hours, 00:53:09.269 --> 00:53:11.772 as any good and strong manager would. 00:53:15.484 --> 00:53:18.278 I told you they never die. 00:53:22.533 --> 00:53:25.035 Oh, this just got really bad. 00:53:49.977 --> 00:53:51.520 Go, get outta here! 00:54:00.821 --> 00:54:02.030 - Ken! - Don't! 00:54:21.175 --> 00:54:24.845 Motherfucker! Ow! Ow! 00:54:38.525 --> 00:54:40.527 I think we're clear. 00:54:40.611 --> 00:54:42.070 Maybe they do die. 00:54:42.154 --> 00:54:43.154 - Ken. - Are you okay? 00:54:43.197 --> 00:54:44.990 Wait, wait, wait. 00:54:45.073 --> 00:54:46.617 Stay back. Do not come over here. 00:54:48.535 --> 00:54:49.828 Oh, my god. 00:54:49.912 --> 00:54:51.330 What happened? 00:54:51.413 --> 00:54:54.541 - What does it look like? - Fucking new guy bit me. 00:54:56.752 --> 00:54:58.378 - I can fix this. - We can fix this. 00:54:58.462 --> 00:54:59.838 No. No. 00:54:59.922 --> 00:55:01.632 You saw what happened to Anita and Emmett. 00:55:01.715 --> 00:55:03.109 If they bite you, you turn into one of them. 00:55:03.133 --> 00:55:04.593 - No, no, no, no. - Don't say that. 00:55:04.676 --> 00:55:06.053 Well, that is the mythos, right? 00:55:06.136 --> 00:55:08.388 Shut the fuck up, Jonathan! 00:55:08.472 --> 00:55:11.141 What happened to going down with the ship, huh, captain? 00:55:11.225 --> 00:55:12.935 I guess I changed my mind. 00:55:13.018 --> 00:55:14.770 We can cut the arm off. 00:55:14.853 --> 00:55:16.855 Let's lop it off. 00:55:16.939 --> 00:55:19.942 Guys, you already took my dignity. 00:55:21.193 --> 00:55:22.611 Leave my arm. 00:55:24.321 --> 00:55:25.656 Get out of here. 00:55:25.739 --> 00:55:27.991 Put something in the door. Don't let me out. 00:55:30.744 --> 00:55:31.954 Here. 00:55:33.455 --> 00:55:35.290 Ken, I'm... I'm sorry. 00:55:37.876 --> 00:55:39.628 Yeah, me too, kid. 00:56:07.531 --> 00:56:08.740 Fuck. 00:56:10.325 --> 00:56:13.120 Come on, man! When are you gonna take me? 00:56:13.203 --> 00:56:15.581 Fuck! 00:56:15.664 --> 00:56:18.083 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 00:56:18.166 --> 00:56:21.211 Want to go some place new, new. 00:56:21.295 --> 00:56:24.172 Not my... not myself. 00:56:24.256 --> 00:56:27.259 Been a long... Been a long day, day, day. 00:56:27.342 --> 00:56:29.928 Been a long... been a long day. 00:56:30.012 --> 00:56:31.597 Fuck off, dour Dennis. 00:56:31.680 --> 00:56:33.783 Yet others are going through much worse. 00:56:33.807 --> 00:56:35.142 Fuck off, man. 00:56:41.315 --> 00:56:43.108 You know what you're doing? 00:56:43.191 --> 00:56:45.861 No, but I figure if I climb out of the hatch 00:56:45.944 --> 00:56:47.422 and get to the front seat, it's our way out of here. 00:56:47.446 --> 00:56:49.281 Okay. Good plan. 00:56:49.364 --> 00:56:51.867 'Cause my elks lodge is only about six miles away. 00:56:51.950 --> 00:56:53.619 Or the police station. 00:56:53.702 --> 00:56:55.542 The police are here and they're monsters now. 00:56:56.914 --> 00:56:59.958 Look, I'll get us somewhere, okay? 00:57:00.042 --> 00:57:02.210 Brian, about a year ago, 00:57:02.294 --> 00:57:03.879 corporate sent transportation... 00:57:03.962 --> 00:57:05.762 Hey, I hope you don't believe what Ken said. 00:57:05.797 --> 00:57:07.049 It's not true. 00:57:08.258 --> 00:57:09.760 It's true. 00:57:09.843 --> 00:57:11.523 I don't know if he meant it, but it's true. 00:57:13.597 --> 00:57:16.350 I made things uncomfortable by bringing you into that fight. 00:57:17.768 --> 00:57:19.394 You're too good of a person. 00:57:19.478 --> 00:57:20.580 You remember Christmas last year, 00:57:20.604 --> 00:57:21.980 we caught that woman stealing? 00:57:22.064 --> 00:57:23.482 I wanted to stop her. Y-Y... 00:57:23.565 --> 00:57:26.276 - She had kids. - She was stealing for them. 00:57:26.360 --> 00:57:27.486 What? 00:57:29.237 --> 00:57:31.239 What was I supposed to do, call the cops 00:57:31.323 --> 00:57:33.700 so that she'd get arrested and her kids would find out 00:57:33.784 --> 00:57:36.370 in the worst possible way that Santa's not real? 00:57:36.453 --> 00:57:37.955 You let her do it? 00:57:38.038 --> 00:57:40.791 - Marnie... - You did the right thing. 00:57:43.794 --> 00:57:44.962 Let's help Chris out. 00:58:06.066 --> 00:58:08.235 Hey, how do you feel today, feel today? 00:58:08.318 --> 00:58:11.113 You know, I'm not doing too good, dour Dennis, 00:58:11.196 --> 00:58:12.698 but I appreciate the sentiment. 00:58:12.781 --> 00:58:15.367 Just always feel bad, bad, bad. 00:58:15.450 --> 00:58:16.994 That's great. 00:58:17.077 --> 00:58:18.704 That's just fucking awesome. 00:58:23.875 --> 00:58:25.002 I'm good. 00:58:37.556 --> 00:58:39.057 Ah, fuck. 00:58:40.809 --> 00:58:42.436 God damn it, Brian! 00:58:48.358 --> 00:58:50.944 What are the odds Chris fucks this up? 00:58:51.028 --> 00:58:52.988 You know, you are a real boner killer, 00:58:53.071 --> 00:58:54.072 you know that? 00:59:01.496 --> 00:59:02.539 Bircher. 00:59:29.149 --> 00:59:31.735 An emergency at-home order has been put in place... 00:59:33.695 --> 00:59:35.489 What do I do here? 00:59:35.572 --> 00:59:37.574 Civilians are advised... 00:59:37.657 --> 00:59:38.825 What is this? 00:59:38.909 --> 00:59:40.494 What are all these buttons? 00:59:40.577 --> 00:59:43.205 I repeat: Stay in your home. 00:59:43.288 --> 00:59:46.374 An emergency at-home order has been put in place... 00:59:46.458 --> 00:59:49.544 - "You should have taken shop." - Shut the fuck up, dad! 00:59:51.338 --> 00:59:52.756 Civilians are advised to avoid 00:59:52.839 --> 00:59:54.633 any and all retail areas. 00:59:57.844 --> 00:59:59.447 I can't do this at my house. 00:59:59.471 --> 01:00:01.765 My house is a mess, mess, mess, mess. 01:00:01.848 --> 01:00:03.433 - Quiet, Dennis. - They'll hear us. 01:00:06.603 --> 01:00:08.063 Oh, fuck. 01:00:13.401 --> 01:00:14.712 Get it together, together. 01:00:14.736 --> 01:00:16.196 It's not like my life was my choice. 01:00:16.279 --> 01:00:19.074 - Hey! - This is for employees only! 01:00:21.159 --> 01:00:22.494 Come on, Dennis. 01:00:27.374 --> 01:00:29.054 My wife left me, so I guess 01:00:29.126 --> 01:00:31.378 I can do whatever the fuck I want. 01:00:31.461 --> 01:00:33.213 _ 01:00:53.150 --> 01:00:54.985 What happened to the plan, Chris? 01:00:55.068 --> 01:00:56.820 I can't drive this truck. 01:00:56.903 --> 01:00:58.783 That's what you get for not taking shop class. 01:00:58.864 --> 01:01:00.615 - Shh, shh! - The... they'll hear us. 01:01:00.699 --> 01:01:02.492 I saw bircher outside. 01:01:02.576 --> 01:01:05.662 He was like Emmett. He turned but maybe worse. 01:01:05.745 --> 01:01:07.539 I-I don't know. 01:01:07.622 --> 01:01:10.125 I don't think he saw me. 01:01:57.964 --> 01:01:59.466 Are you okay? 01:02:00.675 --> 01:02:02.260 Chris! 01:02:05.972 --> 01:02:07.599 No, no, no, no, no, no! 01:02:09.267 --> 01:02:10.894 Help! 01:02:15.023 --> 01:02:17.234 Aah! 01:02:17.317 --> 01:02:18.985 Shit! 01:02:19.069 --> 01:02:21.613 Jonathan, open the back door! 01:02:21.696 --> 01:02:23.281 We're safe in here, no? 01:02:23.365 --> 01:02:24.532 No! Obviously not. 01:02:24.616 --> 01:02:25.896 These things are fast and strong. 01:02:25.951 --> 01:02:27.111 They'll rip this truck apart. 01:02:30.163 --> 01:02:31.665 Go! Go! Get the back! 01:02:31.748 --> 01:02:33.208 - Okay. Okay. - Go! Go! 01:03:18.878 --> 01:03:20.630 What are we gonna do? 01:03:20.714 --> 01:03:24.384 Okay. Marnie, grab the back of my sweater. 01:03:24.467 --> 01:03:26.386 Then Chris, Brian, you last. 01:03:26.469 --> 01:03:27.887 Me last? 01:03:27.971 --> 01:03:29.657 Well, unfortunately, these things are hungry, 01:03:29.681 --> 01:03:32.100 and well, you're the slowest and the juiciest. 01:03:48.491 --> 01:03:50.091 - Are you crazy? - We can't see in there. 01:03:50.160 --> 01:03:51.703 You can't, maybe. 01:03:51.786 --> 01:03:54.122 I can walk through this whole store with my eyes closed. 01:03:54.205 --> 01:03:56.291 Come on. Grab on. Let's move! 01:04:00.295 --> 01:04:01.671 I can't see anything. 01:04:01.755 --> 01:04:03.506 Shut the fuck up, juicy. 01:04:29.282 --> 01:04:30.658 This was a good call. 01:04:30.742 --> 01:04:32.452 Go high, you know. That's what they say. 01:04:32.535 --> 01:04:35.205 - Who? - I don't know, sports people? 01:04:35.288 --> 01:04:37.791 Marnie, where did the rest of the shoppers go? 01:04:49.094 --> 01:04:50.512 Hello, hello, hello. 01:04:50.595 --> 01:04:53.348 Maybe you could love me. Maybe you could love me. 01:05:06.361 --> 01:05:08.780 Guys, over here. 01:05:09.989 --> 01:05:11.741 Hey, uh, 01:05:11.825 --> 01:05:14.327 I'm totes sorry that I left you on the sales floor. 01:05:14.411 --> 01:05:15.596 - It's all right. - Forget about it. 01:05:15.620 --> 01:05:17.330 No, I've been a bitch. 01:05:17.414 --> 01:05:19.874 But I've totally taken control since then. 01:05:19.958 --> 01:05:21.558 I totally helped with Ken. 01:05:21.584 --> 01:05:22.710 What? 01:05:24.212 --> 01:05:25.380 Oh, no! 01:05:25.463 --> 01:05:26.881 It's spreading too fast. 01:05:28.216 --> 01:05:31.386 No, no, no! We got to put it out. 01:05:32.971 --> 01:05:35.056 No, no! 01:05:35.140 --> 01:05:37.392 I don't care how much smoke. Back down the hatch! 01:05:44.190 --> 01:05:46.025 Oh, there they are. 01:05:46.109 --> 01:05:48.319 We don't have a way out. 01:05:48.403 --> 01:05:51.573 You know the worst thing about holiday shoppers? 01:05:52.657 --> 01:05:55.368 They can never accept the fact that the night is over. 01:05:56.411 --> 01:06:00.123 They have no idea what it takes to work in retail. 01:06:00.206 --> 01:06:04.627 Year after year dealing with hordes of unruly customers. 01:06:04.711 --> 01:06:06.921 You know what? 01:06:07.005 --> 01:06:10.758 My face hurts because of all the fake smiles! 01:06:13.761 --> 01:06:16.681 My ears hurt from listening to air supply 01:06:16.764 --> 01:06:19.934 50,000 times! 01:06:21.352 --> 01:06:26.232 Worst of all, my fucking feet hurt! 01:06:26.316 --> 01:06:28.234 What is he doing? 01:06:28.318 --> 01:06:29.986 I think he's finally had enough. 01:06:30.069 --> 01:06:34.157 It's right there in the manager's handbook. 01:06:34.240 --> 01:06:38.286 The people that work for you should be treated... 01:06:38.369 --> 01:06:39.913 Like family. 01:06:39.996 --> 01:06:42.665 Well, these kids, they're special to me. 01:06:43.917 --> 01:06:46.211 They're my family. 01:06:46.294 --> 01:06:47.837 Jonathan, what are you doing? 01:06:51.466 --> 01:06:53.927 So attention, shoppers, 01:06:54.010 --> 01:06:58.306 black Friday is over! 01:06:58.389 --> 01:06:59.974 Whoo! 01:07:46.771 --> 01:07:48.356 Somebody say something. 01:07:51.401 --> 01:07:53.361 I bit Ken. 01:07:53.444 --> 01:07:54.487 You what? 01:07:59.117 --> 01:08:02.745 Ma'am, I have the right to refuse service to anybody! 01:08:02.829 --> 01:08:05.081 And it doesn't matter appear you're wearing a shirt 01:08:05.164 --> 01:08:07.959 or shoes, ma'am! 01:08:10.670 --> 01:08:12.797 I'll rip this place apart, including you! 01:08:12.880 --> 01:08:14.716 Oh, get it together, dickless! 01:08:30.732 --> 01:08:33.276 I made a choice, and I bit him. 01:08:35.069 --> 01:08:37.989 Ken bates was no hero. 01:08:38.072 --> 01:08:40.408 He was a drunk and a creep. 01:08:41.868 --> 01:08:43.995 So I did us all a favor. 01:08:44.078 --> 01:08:47.165 You are a horrible person. 01:08:47.248 --> 01:08:49.334 You piece of shit. 01:08:49.417 --> 01:08:51.044 What the fuck? 01:08:51.127 --> 01:08:52.354 You didn't even think about his daughters! 01:08:52.378 --> 01:08:53.588 Marnie! Marnie, please! 01:08:53.671 --> 01:08:54.940 These are more than microaggressions! 01:08:54.964 --> 01:08:56.341 I fucking hate you! 01:08:56.424 --> 01:08:58.676 - Guys, stop fighting, okay? - Not now. 01:08:58.760 --> 01:09:00.070 Grab some garland and some lights. 01:09:00.094 --> 01:09:01.596 We can rappel off this thing. 01:09:19.405 --> 01:09:22.450 _ 01:09:45.390 --> 01:09:46.683 I'm okay! 01:09:48.142 --> 01:09:49.519 Yeah, me too! 01:09:49.602 --> 01:09:51.813 Oh, why are those things so filthy? 01:09:53.481 --> 01:09:54.941 Guys, why is the garbage so wet? 01:09:55.024 --> 01:09:57.026 Chris, you can do it. 01:09:58.236 --> 01:09:59.654 Three, two. 01:09:59.737 --> 01:10:00.822 Come on. 01:10:00.905 --> 01:10:02.407 Mm-mm. Mm-mm. 01:10:02.490 --> 01:10:05.034 Oh! Five, four... 01:10:05.118 --> 01:10:07.245 Whoa! 01:10:07.328 --> 01:10:09.122 Oh, god. 01:10:09.205 --> 01:10:11.541 Are you okay? 01:10:11.624 --> 01:10:13.394 That thing just shook me off the side of the roof, 01:10:13.418 --> 01:10:15.604 which is perfectly fine because I was gonna jump anyway. 01:10:15.628 --> 01:10:16.504 It's, like, not even that bad in here. 01:10:16.587 --> 01:10:18.589 Okay, Chris. Let's go. 01:10:18.673 --> 01:10:20.967 Chris? What about me? 01:10:22.969 --> 01:10:26.389 You can stay here with the rest of the trash. 01:10:28.349 --> 01:10:30.184 I'm 3 o rryi 01:10:30.268 --> 01:10:33.062 he was kind of on all of our shit, though, right? 01:10:33.146 --> 01:10:34.689 I mean, he said you were 01:10:34.772 --> 01:10:38.025 a waste of potential, Chris, right? 01:10:38.109 --> 01:10:40.528 He said that you were his girlfriend. 01:10:40.611 --> 01:10:42.530 Girl, bye! 01:10:42.613 --> 01:10:44.490 Dude was gonna lead us to certain death 01:10:44.574 --> 01:10:46.492 'cause he was afraid for his daughters. 01:10:47.827 --> 01:10:49.454 I did us all a favor! 01:11:02.216 --> 01:11:03.801 We have to make a run for it. 01:11:03.885 --> 01:11:05.845 Check every car, and try to stay quiet. 01:11:12.101 --> 01:11:13.853 Any of those things out here? 01:11:13.936 --> 01:11:16.814 I think they're inside of that... thing. 01:11:16.898 --> 01:11:18.098 Looks like the coast is clear. 01:11:20.693 --> 01:11:22.236 This place is gonna blow. 01:11:22.320 --> 01:11:24.530 Try to find a car that's unlocked. 01:11:24.614 --> 01:11:25.632 Jonathan would have had a plan! 01:11:25.656 --> 01:11:28.242 We need a plan! 01:11:28.326 --> 01:11:30.161 Oh, shit! 01:11:38.711 --> 01:11:40.379 Oh, Brian, god damn it! 01:11:44.592 --> 01:11:45.968 Let's go. 01:11:56.312 --> 01:11:58.773 What the fuck is he doing now? 01:12:05.571 --> 01:12:07.949 Oh, my god. 01:12:10.326 --> 01:12:12.078 What is that thing? 01:12:20.378 --> 01:12:23.005 It's mom-fucking-Kong. 01:12:30.721 --> 01:12:31.806 What do we do now? 01:12:34.433 --> 01:12:35.977 It's all the shoppers. 01:12:42.316 --> 01:12:43.943 What if I can get through to it? 01:12:48.322 --> 01:12:49.448 Are you crazy? 01:12:50.700 --> 01:12:52.869 It's a management thing. 01:12:52.952 --> 01:12:54.537 You'd never understand, marnie. 01:12:58.165 --> 01:13:00.167 _ 01:13:00.251 --> 01:13:02.545 Hi there! 01:13:02.628 --> 01:13:04.881 My name is Brian. 01:13:04.964 --> 01:13:06.549 And I love toys! 01:13:15.558 --> 01:13:16.934 Okay. 01:13:17.018 --> 01:13:19.061 I know you're scared. 01:13:19.145 --> 01:13:22.398 I'm scared too. That's right. 01:13:22.481 --> 01:13:24.692 I'm not gonna hurt you. 01:13:24.775 --> 01:13:26.736 Come closer. 01:13:26.819 --> 01:13:28.738 You and I have been through a lot, you know? 01:13:30.364 --> 01:13:32.992 You remember black Friday 2016? 01:13:36.454 --> 01:13:39.832 Uh, I know the shopper experience. 01:13:39.916 --> 01:13:42.752 I mean, as I always say, 01:13:42.835 --> 01:13:44.879 when in doubt, go shopping! 01:13:51.260 --> 01:13:54.180 You and me, we have so many mems. 01:13:56.724 --> 01:13:58.726 If anyone knows, 01:13:58.809 --> 01:14:00.227 the customer's always r... 01:14:01.854 --> 01:14:03.356 Oh, my god. 01:14:05.983 --> 01:14:07.401 Shit. Shit. 01:14:07.485 --> 01:14:08.736 Ken's SUV is over there. 01:14:09.946 --> 01:14:11.739 He didn't give us the keys. 01:14:14.659 --> 01:14:17.119 And he didn't put the fucking carts away! 01:14:17.203 --> 01:14:18.746 Knock, knock! 01:14:22.833 --> 01:14:25.878 You're supposed to say, "who's there?" 01:14:25.962 --> 01:14:28.130 - Now a bad time for a dad joke? - Ken! 01:14:30.424 --> 01:14:31.968 We didn't think you'd make it. 01:14:32.051 --> 01:14:33.403 Did you see Brian get just fucking... 01:14:33.427 --> 01:14:34.553 Like a paper football. 01:14:38.766 --> 01:14:41.435 Ken, I'm sorry. 01:14:41.519 --> 01:14:44.563 - I'm sorry too. - I was an asshole. 01:14:44.647 --> 01:14:45.940 You're too good for a toy store. 01:14:46.023 --> 01:14:47.441 You both are. 01:14:47.525 --> 01:14:49.005 That's why we need to get out of here. 01:14:49.068 --> 01:14:50.778 Come on, let's go. Go, go, go, go! 01:15:10.172 --> 01:15:11.549 What the hell are we gonna do? 01:15:11.632 --> 01:15:13.676 If we run, that thing's gonna pick us off. 01:15:15.052 --> 01:15:16.052 I have an idea. 01:15:22.018 --> 01:15:24.103 Chris, please don't play hero. 01:15:24.186 --> 01:15:26.397 Can you distract that thing? 01:15:26.480 --> 01:15:27.773 I'ma hold you down. 01:15:27.857 --> 01:15:30.359 - Don't. - No, Jonathan was right. 01:15:30.443 --> 01:15:32.153 It's fucking Thanksgiving. 01:15:32.236 --> 01:15:33.463 I'm deciding right here right now, 01:15:33.487 --> 01:15:34.947 you guys are my family. 01:15:35.031 --> 01:15:36.071 - So can you do it? - Yeah. 01:15:37.700 --> 01:15:39.618 No, I'll do it. He's got kids. 01:15:39.702 --> 01:15:41.871 No, no, you won't. Hey! Hey! 01:15:41.954 --> 01:15:43.664 Whoa! Hey, right here! 01:15:43.748 --> 01:15:46.208 Hey, right here! Hey! 01:15:51.047 --> 01:15:53.174 I don't like you. 01:15:53.257 --> 01:15:55.342 I don't have to help you. 01:15:55.426 --> 01:15:57.595 I got your discount right here. 01:15:57.678 --> 01:15:59.847 Look at this. Whoa, whoa, hey! 01:15:59.930 --> 01:16:02.099 Hey, check this out. Check it out, huh? 01:16:02.183 --> 01:16:05.311 You see that? Hey! Hey! 01:16:05.394 --> 01:16:07.855 Right here, you big bitch! Right here! 01:16:09.857 --> 01:16:12.359 I don't need to help you. 01:16:12.443 --> 01:16:15.613 I got your discount right here! Look at this. 01:16:15.696 --> 01:16:18.157 Look here! 01:16:18.240 --> 01:16:20.034 Hey! Hey! 01:16:34.090 --> 01:16:35.800 Oh, no! 01:16:35.883 --> 01:16:38.594 Oh, no, Chris. No. 01:17:09.542 --> 01:17:11.252 Come on! 01:17:28.394 --> 01:17:30.229 Yes! Bang! 01:17:58.215 --> 01:17:59.675 I think I just pissed it off. 01:18:15.065 --> 01:18:16.626 Come on! I think we can make it to my car. 01:18:16.650 --> 01:18:17.776 Let's go! Come on! 01:18:17.860 --> 01:18:19.069 Come on! 01:18:41.926 --> 01:18:43.677 Just a thing? 01:18:43.761 --> 01:18:45.221 Just a thing. 01:18:45.304 --> 01:18:46.388 Let's go. 01:18:50.392 --> 01:18:51.977 Leah texted. 01:18:52.061 --> 01:18:54.146 My daughters are okay. 01:18:54.230 --> 01:18:56.440 They set up safe havens for people. 01:18:57.358 --> 01:18:59.109 - Sounds good to me. - Let's do it. 01:19:00.527 --> 01:19:02.655 We gotta make a detour first. 01:19:02.738 --> 01:19:03.864 For what? 01:19:05.449 --> 01:19:06.700 For pancakes. 01:19:09.745 --> 01:19:11.038 Let's go! 01:19:13.540 --> 01:19:14.833 Well... 01:19:14.917 --> 01:19:17.002 Well... well... well, 01:19:17.086 --> 01:19:19.338 it's been a long day, day, day. 01:19:19.421 --> 01:19:22.383 And this is surely the end. 01:19:43.737 --> 01:19:49.326 Jezebel, you know me oh, so well 01:19:49.410 --> 01:19:53.831 even when you cut the sun, my blood would never run 01:19:53.914 --> 01:19:57.167 when she comes around 01:19:57.251 --> 01:20:00.087 dare not make a sound 01:20:00.170 --> 01:20:04.633 try to be a hero and a monster you'll become 01:20:04.717 --> 01:20:07.761 ma-ma-mama, do you wonder 01:20:07.845 --> 01:20:10.431 my baby is a goner 01:20:10.514 --> 01:20:13.600 got my finger on the trigger 01:20:13.684 --> 01:20:17.104 tried to move away, that stone won't roll 01:20:26.405 --> 01:20:29.616 while you wear your crown 01:20:29.700 --> 01:20:31.827 your body drags me down 01:20:31.910 --> 01:20:33.871 it's like you're using voodoo 01:20:33.954 --> 01:20:37.249 all that you do nails me to the ground 01:20:37.333 --> 01:20:40.627 hey, do you wanna go 01:20:40.711 --> 01:20:43.172 cheaper and I'm out the door 01:20:43.255 --> 01:20:46.717 don't care what you think, tell me anyway 01:20:46.800 --> 01:20:48.177 oh, yeah 01:20:48.260 --> 01:20:51.305 ma-ma-mama, do you wonder 01:20:51.388 --> 01:20:53.974 my baby is a goner 01:20:54.058 --> 01:20:57.061 got my finger on the trigger 01:20:57.144 --> 01:21:01.482 tried to move away, that stone won't roll 01:21:01.565 --> 01:21:04.234 stone won't roll 01:21:04.318 --> 01:21:07.780 stone won't roll 01:21:07.863 --> 01:21:13.118 got to move away, that stone won't roll 01:21:13.202 --> 01:21:18.707 oh, oh, oh 01:21:18.791 --> 01:21:23.962 ooh 01:21:24.046 --> 01:21:27.758 oh, oh, oh 01:21:34.890 --> 01:21:37.851 oh, oh, oh 01:21:43.023 --> 01:21:44.733 yeah 01:22:06.797 --> 01:22:09.967 ma-ma-mama, do you wonder 01:22:10.050 --> 01:22:12.010 my baby is a goner 01:22:12.094 --> 01:22:15.347 I got my finger on the trigger 01:22:15.431 --> 01:22:17.474 gonna make you a believer 01:22:17.558 --> 01:22:20.853 ma-ma-mama, do you wonder 01:22:20.936 --> 01:22:23.397 my baby is a goner 01:22:23.480 --> 01:22:26.483 got my finger on the trigger 01:22:26.567 --> 01:22:31.071 tried to move away, that stone won't roll 01:22:31.155 --> 01:22:33.866 stone won't roll 01:22:33.949 --> 01:22:36.577 stone won't roll 01:22:36.660 --> 01:22:40.414 stone won't roll, yeah 01:23:48.941 --> 01:23:51.276 come one, come all 01:23:51.360 --> 01:23:54.238 it's a grand old ball 01:23:54.321 --> 01:23:58.116 gather close, 'cause it's gonna be a real hoot 01:23:58.200 --> 01:23:59.535 hoo-hoo 01:23:59.618 --> 01:24:01.954 your grandma's here 01:24:02.037 --> 01:24:04.873 sayin', "join me, dear" 01:24:04.957 --> 01:24:07.292 "have I got a gift" 01:24:07.376 --> 01:25:13.090 Telegram Channel and Instagram Page .:: @bollbolljan_com ::.