WEBVTT 00:00:00.941 --> 00:00:20.941 ..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::.. .:: www.bolboljan.net ::. 00:00:47.965 --> 00:00:51.093 HAPPY GILMORE 00:00:52.970 --> 00:00:55.138 My name is Happy Gilmore. 00:00:55.389 --> 00:00:59.226 Ever since I was old enough to skate, I loved hockey. 00:01:00.060 --> 00:01:02.980 I wasn't really the greatest skater. 00:01:03.814 --> 00:01:06.733 But that didn't keep my dad from teaching me... 00:01:06.942 --> 00:01:09.319 ...the secret of making a great slap shot. 00:01:11.738 --> 00:01:14.867 My dad worshipped hockey. My mom didn't. 00:01:15.284 --> 00:01:20.163 So she moved to Egypt, where there's not a hockey rink within 1500 miles. 00:01:20.914 --> 00:01:23.917 Dad took me to games to see our favorite player... 00:01:24.251 --> 00:01:26.545 ...Terry O'Reilly, "The Tasmanian Devil". 00:01:26.753 --> 00:01:30.924 He wasn't a big guy, but he feared nobody, just like me. 00:01:31.341 --> 00:01:35.929 Handsome fellow, huh? He said when I grew up, I could be anything. 00:01:36.263 --> 00:01:39.349 But all I ever wanted to be was a hockey player. 00:01:40.517 --> 00:01:45.022 My childhood was going great, but life is full of surprises. 00:01:52.821 --> 00:01:57.701 After the funeral, I was sent to live with my grandma in Waterbury. 00:02:03.665 --> 00:02:06.793 I was nervous, since I didn't know her that well. 00:02:07.836 --> 00:02:11.298 She dressed like Gene Simmons from KISS to cheer me up. 00:02:11.465 --> 00:02:14.384 She's the sweetest person in the world. 00:02:18.055 --> 00:02:20.891 After my dad died, I developed a short fuse. 00:02:21.058 --> 00:02:23.060 That kid stole my party blower. 00:02:23.393 --> 00:02:27.439 Instead of asking for it back, I hit him in the head repeatedly... 00:02:27.564 --> 00:02:28.398 with a hammer. 00:02:28.982 --> 00:02:32.569 Most of the time, I was quick to say I was sorry. 00:02:34.446 --> 00:02:38.075 Years later, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records... 00:02:38.367 --> 00:02:40.369 ...most time spent in a penalty box... 00:02:40.577 --> 00:02:44.873 ...and I was the only guy to ever try to stab someone with his skates. 00:02:46.625 --> 00:02:49.837 After I graduated, I had a lot of different jobs. 00:02:49.962 --> 00:02:51.338 I was a road worker... 00:02:53.507 --> 00:02:55.092 ...a janitor... 00:02:58.929 --> 00:03:00.931 ...a security guard... 00:03:04.351 --> 00:03:06.520 ...a gas station attendant... 00:03:09.773 --> 00:03:11.525 ...and a plumber. 00:03:12.693 --> 00:03:16.530 Lately, I've been working construction. It's not bad. 00:03:16.864 --> 00:03:18.740 I'm a good shot with a nail gun. 00:03:19.032 --> 00:03:24.037 But one day my boss, Mr. Larson, got in the way. 00:03:24.997 --> 00:03:29.042 Apparently, he also has a short fuse. Look at the monster. 00:03:29.710 --> 00:03:33.547 He got in a few lucky punches, but I feel I won the fight. 00:03:33.755 --> 00:03:35.716 Anyway, those jobs weren't for me. 00:03:36.049 --> 00:03:39.887 I was put on this planet for one reason... to play hockey. 00:03:41.388 --> 00:03:45.559 It's my puck, baby! Don't you ever touch my puck! 00:03:46.059 --> 00:03:50.564 Is that Gilmore again? How many times has he tried out? 00:03:50.856 --> 00:03:52.232 At least ten times. 00:03:52.524 --> 00:03:54.484 He has a lot of intensity. 00:03:56.570 --> 00:03:58.363 Not a strong skater, though. 00:03:58.572 --> 00:04:00.240 Nor the best puck handler. 00:04:04.912 --> 00:04:06.163 But, my God... 00:04:09.750 --> 00:04:11.418 What a shot. 00:04:12.544 --> 00:04:17.007 It that goal regulation size or what?! 00:04:21.303 --> 00:04:22.971 Number one... 00:04:23.514 --> 00:04:26.600 ...number fifty-two... number sixteen... 00:04:26.934 --> 00:04:29.937 They saw my power. They won't dog me this year. 00:04:30.270 --> 00:04:31.188 ...number nine... 00:04:32.147 --> 00:04:35.901 ...and number forty-three. The rest of you... 00:04:36.193 --> 00:04:38.529 ...better luck next year. 00:04:39.029 --> 00:04:42.157 Coach, what's going on? What about me? 00:04:42.574 --> 00:04:43.825 Gilmore. 00:04:44.117 --> 00:04:47.037 I called your number, didn't I? 00:04:47.371 --> 00:04:48.956 No, you didn't. 00:04:50.165 --> 00:04:52.459 Well, better luck next year. 00:04:53.544 --> 00:04:55.629 That wasn't very nice! 00:05:02.177 --> 00:05:04.054 You think you're better than me?! 00:05:09.476 --> 00:05:11.019 Where you going? I got Subway. 00:05:11.353 --> 00:05:12.604 I already ate. 00:05:13.021 --> 00:05:16.567 I knew the guy working there, so we got extra meatballs. 00:05:16.775 --> 00:05:18.652 Great. I got to run. 00:05:18.861 --> 00:05:21.071 Can you stay? I had a rough day. 00:05:21.363 --> 00:05:22.072 Bye. 00:05:22.406 --> 00:05:24.074 - When will you be back? - Never. 00:05:30.956 --> 00:05:31.874 Terry, wait! 00:05:32.207 --> 00:05:34.918 Wait! Hold on a second, babe. 00:05:35.752 --> 00:05:38.046 You're not going for good, are you? 00:05:38.338 --> 00:05:40.841 You're going nowhere and taking me with you. 00:05:41.091 --> 00:05:46.096 All you ever talk about is being a pro hockey player, but you're not any good. 00:05:46.388 --> 00:05:50.142 I am good! You know what? You're a lousy kindergarten teacher! 00:05:50.434 --> 00:05:53.770 I saw the finger paintings you bring home... they suck! 00:05:55.439 --> 00:06:00.027 I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. They're excellent finger paintings. 00:06:00.569 --> 00:06:01.945 Please don't go. 00:06:02.237 --> 00:06:05.032 I'm not spending the rest of my life with a loser. 00:06:05.365 --> 00:06:06.283 I'm gone. 00:06:06.408 --> 00:06:11.121 Good! Get the hell out of my life! Who needs you? Beat it! 00:06:12.122 --> 00:06:14.124 I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. 00:06:14.458 --> 00:06:17.252 I just yell 'cause I get so scared. 00:06:17.669 --> 00:06:19.963 Scared of being a nobody. 00:06:20.297 --> 00:06:23.634 Why don't you come back upstairs, honey? 00:06:23.926 --> 00:06:27.262 I'll give you the old smoochy-smoo kissy-wissy. 00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:32.142 You know Happy will make everything okay. 00:06:39.483 --> 00:06:42.986 I want to kiss you all over 00:06:43.529 --> 00:06:45.489 And over and again 00:06:46.448 --> 00:06:49.785 I want to kiss you all over 00:06:52.704 --> 00:06:55.499 Till the night closes in 00:06:56.333 --> 00:06:59.169 Till the night closes in 00:07:01.171 --> 00:07:02.172 Terry! 00:07:18.021 --> 00:07:20.023 Sit tight. I'll be right over. 00:07:26.905 --> 00:07:29.700 Hey, you don't want breakfast? 00:07:39.626 --> 00:07:40.377 Grandma? 00:07:43.589 --> 00:07:45.799 Put that down! It's my grandmother's! 00:07:46.091 --> 00:07:48.719 Cut it out, kid. We're just doing our job. 00:07:49.011 --> 00:07:50.554 What are you talking about? 00:07:50.804 --> 00:07:53.390 Your grandmother hasn't paid taxes in 10 years. 00:07:55.976 --> 00:07:58.312 Grandma, you didn't pay your taxes? 00:07:58.604 --> 00:08:01.398 I would have, but I didn't have any money. 00:08:02.774 --> 00:08:04.318 Where are you taking her stuff? 00:08:04.651 --> 00:08:07.362 I'm not taking her stuff, the government is. 00:08:07.571 --> 00:08:11.408 It's not like I'm taking her stuff over to my place. 00:08:11.742 --> 00:08:13.076 Don't get mad at me. 00:08:13.410 --> 00:08:17.372 But she's an old lady. Look at her. She's old. 00:08:17.664 --> 00:08:20.834 You can't just take her stuff. She's too old. 00:08:21.126 --> 00:08:25.088 I'm sorry. I have no discretion. Her stuff is now our stuff. 00:08:26.131 --> 00:08:28.926 Well, at least we got the house. 00:08:29.176 --> 00:08:32.679 I'll bring furniture from my place. We'll be okay. 00:08:33.013 --> 00:08:36.433 Now you'll really be mad. I'm taking the house, too. 00:08:36.767 --> 00:08:40.103 My grandfather built this house with his bare hands. 00:08:40.312 --> 00:08:44.691 My grandma's been here over 60 years. You can't take her house. 00:08:44.900 --> 00:08:49.613 Mrs. Gilmore owes the IRS $270,000 in back taxes. 00:08:49.905 --> 00:08:52.282 We have to take the house. 00:08:52.616 --> 00:08:57.287 If you can't repay the money in 90 days, we sell the house to someone else. 00:08:57.621 --> 00:08:58.997 You hate me, don't you? 00:08:59.623 --> 00:09:01.083 No, I don't hate you. 00:09:07.840 --> 00:09:09.091 He hates me. 00:09:12.553 --> 00:09:14.221 Don't worry- things will be okay. 00:09:14.930 --> 00:09:16.306 Look at this place. 00:09:16.598 --> 00:09:20.894 Silver Acres Rest Home. It looks more like a country club. 00:09:21.311 --> 00:09:23.397 Nice grass, nice people. 00:09:23.689 --> 00:09:25.899 I hope you brought your bathing suit. 00:09:26.275 --> 00:09:28.902 You're going to make friends in no time. 00:09:29.236 --> 00:09:29.820 Mister! 00:09:30.988 --> 00:09:34.116 Get me out of here!!! 00:09:35.242 --> 00:09:38.287 Here, eat that! Leave us alone! 00:09:39.663 --> 00:09:42.166 Grandma, you could come live with me. 00:09:42.457 --> 00:09:44.751 Nonsense, dear. You're a grown man. 00:09:45.043 --> 00:09:48.505 I wouldn't burden you like that and that's final. 00:09:48.839 --> 00:09:51.758 Tell me, how is that nice girlfriend of yours? 00:09:52.176 --> 00:09:54.261 She got hit by a car. She's dead. 00:09:54.678 --> 00:09:58.432 Listen, I will get that $270,000 and get your house back. 00:09:58.849 --> 00:09:59.975 I promise. 00:10:00.184 --> 00:10:01.351 Oh, sure. 00:10:01.643 --> 00:10:05.606 In the meantime, just stay here and have some fun. 00:10:06.023 --> 00:10:07.816 I will, dear. Don't worry. 00:10:09.443 --> 00:10:12.154 Pardon me, but it's nap time. 00:10:12.779 --> 00:10:14.698 Nap time... that sounds nice. 00:10:15.282 --> 00:10:17.492 - You go. - I love you. 00:10:18.619 --> 00:10:20.621 I love you, too, darling. 00:10:23.123 --> 00:10:26.668 Buddy, do me a favor. You see that lady? 00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:29.171 She's very important to me. 00:10:29.463 --> 00:10:32.841 I want you to take extra special care of her. 00:10:33.133 --> 00:10:34.718 You know what I mean? 00:10:35.010 --> 00:10:38.055 I can't accept that. But this is what I can do. 00:10:38.347 --> 00:10:42.309 I can take extra special care of that young lady for nothing. 00:10:43.977 --> 00:10:45.979 I appreciate that. 00:10:46.897 --> 00:10:48.482 Have a nice afternoon. 00:10:49.066 --> 00:10:53.862 Sir, could I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps put me to sleep. 00:10:54.321 --> 00:10:57.407 You could trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up. 00:10:59.409 --> 00:11:01.703 Go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. 00:11:01.912 --> 00:11:05.249 Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, Grandma. 00:11:05.582 --> 00:11:07.251 Oh, dear. 00:11:09.419 --> 00:11:12.339 Bet you I can hit a ball past that tree. 00:11:12.756 --> 00:11:14.716 Twenty bucks says you can't. 00:11:14.925 --> 00:11:17.970 Morons, I told you I want to watch the hockey game. 00:11:18.178 --> 00:11:20.681 Cut the golf sissy crap and finish up. 00:11:21.098 --> 00:11:22.015 Oh, relax. 00:11:22.349 --> 00:11:26.019 You can enjoy your grandma's possessions for another half hour. 00:11:28.689 --> 00:11:31.441 Oh, you got a hold of that one! 00:11:31.525 --> 00:11:34.236 - You try it. - It's not as easy as it looks. 00:11:34.444 --> 00:11:36.864 Sorry, ladies. I'm not the golfing type. 00:11:37.155 --> 00:11:39.366 You hit a ball past my ball... 00:11:39.658 --> 00:11:43.120 ...we'll finish work so you can watch your hockey game. 00:11:43.412 --> 00:11:45.372 Give me the stupid club. 00:11:51.461 --> 00:11:53.130 Look at this stupid thing. 00:11:53.297 --> 00:11:56.884 This will be hilarious. Look how he's standing. 00:11:57.593 --> 00:11:59.261 You like that? 00:12:13.317 --> 00:12:14.818 Holy shit. 00:12:15.110 --> 00:12:15.944 Back to work. 00:12:16.153 --> 00:12:18.030 That house is 400 yards away. 00:12:18.238 --> 00:12:19.156 Is that good? 00:12:19.489 --> 00:12:21.992 - That's unbelievable. - Beginner's luck. 00:12:22.743 --> 00:12:24.494 I bet $20 you can't do it again. 00:12:24.828 --> 00:12:26.079 Bring it on. 00:12:39.510 --> 00:12:41.678 You boys are going to pay for that... 00:12:44.097 --> 00:12:46.683 - You hit him! - He shouldn't have been standing there. 00:12:47.017 --> 00:12:49.436 One more time. Double or nothing. 00:12:49.603 --> 00:12:50.979 You better pay up. 00:13:01.198 --> 00:13:04.451 Oops. Maybe we should get back inside. 00:13:04.868 --> 00:13:07.454 You made a bet. Pay the man. 00:13:25.472 --> 00:13:27.391 Thanks. Tell your friends. 00:13:27.683 --> 00:13:29.643 Step right up, folks! 00:13:29.977 --> 00:13:34.773 See if you can outdrive the amazing Golf Ball, uh, Whacker Guy! 00:13:37.693 --> 00:13:39.486 That's great. 00:13:39.987 --> 00:13:41.154 Very good. 00:13:42.281 --> 00:13:46.326 Bend your knees. Remember, it's in the hips. You're doing great. 00:13:46.660 --> 00:13:48.245 It's in the hips. 00:13:48.537 --> 00:13:51.165 Fifty bucks I can hit it over the highway. 00:14:00.007 --> 00:14:02.009 That's real good. 00:14:03.343 --> 00:14:05.512 So long, sucker. 00:14:10.434 --> 00:14:12.436 How often do you play? 00:14:12.603 --> 00:14:13.979 This is my first time. 00:14:15.355 --> 00:14:17.858 You should play in the Waterbury Open tomorrow. 00:14:18.150 --> 00:14:20.110 Yeah, right, I'll see you there. 00:14:24.406 --> 00:14:26.074 He's going to play. 00:14:26.617 --> 00:14:28.869 And, by God, he's going to win. 00:14:39.713 --> 00:14:41.215 Mister, you need a helmet. 00:14:41.507 --> 00:14:43.050 Don't worry about it. 00:14:49.640 --> 00:14:51.308 Yeah, bring that shit on. 00:14:52.226 --> 00:14:53.393 I love it. 00:14:53.810 --> 00:14:55.270 Awesome. 00:14:55.812 --> 00:14:57.898 God, that hurt, but I'm okay. 00:14:58.315 --> 00:14:59.983 What the hell are you doing? 00:15:00.150 --> 00:15:04.029 Just 364 more days till the next hockey tryouts. I got to get tough. 00:15:06.323 --> 00:15:07.783 God, that felt good. 00:15:07.991 --> 00:15:10.285 Cut that out. You're making me sick. 00:15:12.579 --> 00:15:14.581 So you're a hockey player. 00:15:14.998 --> 00:15:17.918 You got to give that up and concentrate on golf. 00:15:18.085 --> 00:15:19.169 Who are you? 00:15:19.336 --> 00:15:21.839 I'm the club pro here... Chubbs Peterson. 00:15:22.172 --> 00:15:26.426 I'm offering to teach you how to play golf, personally, for free. 00:15:26.760 --> 00:15:27.678 No. 00:15:28.011 --> 00:15:29.763 You don't know who I am, do you? 00:15:30.097 --> 00:15:31.348 No, I don't. 00:15:31.974 --> 00:15:33.767 Back in 1965... 00:15:34.184 --> 00:15:37.938 ...Sports Illustrated said I would be the next Arnold Palmer. 00:15:38.230 --> 00:15:39.189 What happened? 00:15:39.481 --> 00:15:41.692 I wasn't allowed to play pro anymore. 00:15:41.984 --> 00:15:44.194 I'm sorry. Because you're black? 00:15:44.486 --> 00:15:47.197 Hell, no. An alligator bit my hand off. 00:15:47.614 --> 00:15:48.782 Oh, my God! 00:15:49.199 --> 00:15:52.536 Tournament in Florida. My ball went down by a lake. 00:15:52.703 --> 00:15:56.999 Damn alligator just popped up! Cut me down in my prime. 00:15:57.291 --> 00:16:01.587 But I tore one of that bastard's eyes out. Look at that. 00:16:02.296 --> 00:16:03.964 You're pretty sick, Chubbs. 00:16:04.298 --> 00:16:05.883 I've never seen anyone... 00:16:06.049 --> 00:16:09.720 ...who can hit the ball half as far as you. You got real talent. 00:16:10.053 --> 00:16:14.516 That's nice of you to say, but I trained all my life to play hockey. 00:16:14.808 --> 00:16:18.145 Golf is no different... requires talent, self-discipline. 00:16:18.562 --> 00:16:21.064 Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. 00:16:21.398 --> 00:16:24.234 Talk to my neighbor... a great golfer. Huge ass. 00:16:24.526 --> 00:16:28.155 I bet your neighbor can't drive the ball 400 yards. 00:16:28.488 --> 00:16:32.993 I bet your neighbor doesn't have a shot to get on the Pro Tour. 00:16:33.911 --> 00:16:35.162 How would I do that? 00:16:35.496 --> 00:16:38.499 You win the Open tomorrow, you're on the Pro Tour. 00:16:38.832 --> 00:16:41.919 Then, who knows? Maybe you'll win the Tour Championship. 00:16:42.586 --> 00:16:44.254 Get that gold jacket I never got. 00:16:44.755 --> 00:16:47.174 Gold jacket, green jacket... who cares? 00:16:52.346 --> 00:16:55.516 Don't worry. It's made of wood... real sturdy. 00:17:01.230 --> 00:17:03.190 Sorry about that. 00:17:03.524 --> 00:17:06.360 It was good to meet you, but, uh... 00:17:08.111 --> 00:17:09.780 I'm out of here. 00:17:10.113 --> 00:17:12.199 This is not real smart, kid. 00:17:12.491 --> 00:17:15.828 I thought you were pro material, primed for the big bucks. 00:17:23.210 --> 00:17:24.294 Hey, Chubbs... 00:17:24.586 --> 00:17:26.380 ...what kind of big bucks? 00:17:33.470 --> 00:17:36.890 Stupid golf clubs. Why the hell am I doing this? 00:17:40.727 --> 00:17:43.480 Whoa... must be Burt Reynolds or something. 00:17:46.066 --> 00:17:47.401 Good morning! 00:17:47.943 --> 00:17:52.114 Isn't this great? Blue skies, fresh-cut grass, birds chirping. 00:17:52.322 --> 00:17:56.785 You going to recite me a poem? Geez, you love this golf stuff. 00:17:57.536 --> 00:18:00.873 A guy your size... why not play a real sport, like football? 00:18:01.081 --> 00:18:04.334 My mama wouldn't let me. Said it was too dangerous. 00:18:04.626 --> 00:18:06.295 Yeah, good call. 00:18:07.004 --> 00:18:08.505 Hey, who's that? 00:18:09.089 --> 00:18:12.968 The shorter guy is Doug Thompson, president of the Tour. 00:18:13.260 --> 00:18:17.347 The other guy is Shooter McGavin, leading money winner this year. 00:18:17.764 --> 00:18:18.932 Who's the girl? 00:18:19.099 --> 00:18:22.769 I'm Virginia Venit, Director of Public Relations for the Tour. 00:18:23.103 --> 00:18:27.566 Of course. I've heard you've done some really interesting things. 00:18:27.774 --> 00:18:30.611 Right now I'm working on a promotion... 00:18:31.028 --> 00:18:34.448 You know what would be great? If I could get a Pepsi. 00:18:34.990 --> 00:18:36.033 Sure. 00:18:37.701 --> 00:18:39.161 Oh, miss? 00:18:39.786 --> 00:18:40.704 Diet. 00:18:41.622 --> 00:18:42.998 Right. 00:18:44.041 --> 00:18:46.835 Hey, thanks for dressing up. 00:18:47.169 --> 00:18:50.797 If I wore clothes like those, I'd have to kick my own ass. 00:18:51.131 --> 00:18:52.466 Good morning, everyone. 00:18:52.799 --> 00:18:57.471 Welcome to the Waterbury Open. Before we begin, I have a treat for you. 00:18:57.804 --> 00:19:00.015 Ladies and gentlemen, Shooter McGavin. 00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:09.775 Thank you, Doug. I saw Doug play yesterday. 00:19:09.983 --> 00:19:13.445 He spends more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff. 00:19:13.862 --> 00:19:16.365 Let me get serious. You're all aware... 00:19:16.573 --> 00:19:20.744 ...today's winner will be invited to join the Pro Tour. 00:19:21.078 --> 00:19:23.747 Although only one will become my colleague... 00:19:24.081 --> 00:19:26.166 ...all of you are now my friends. 00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:32.214 Thank you. Now go get 'em! 00:19:34.716 --> 00:19:39.721 Next up: Lafferty, Daniel and Gilmore... Happy. 00:19:42.224 --> 00:19:44.434 Where you taking those clubs, punk?! 00:19:46.812 --> 00:19:48.480 Mr. Gilmore, I'm your caddy. 00:19:48.897 --> 00:19:51.191 Sorry. I'll carry these. 00:19:51.275 --> 00:19:53.360 They're my grandfather's. They're pretty old. 00:19:54.236 --> 00:19:56.405 What should I do then? 00:19:56.697 --> 00:19:58.907 Why don't you just watch me... 00:19:59.116 --> 00:20:01.910 ...and make sure I don't do anything stupid? 00:20:04.538 --> 00:20:07.374 Mr. Gilmore, Mr. Lafferty is teeing off now. 00:20:07.541 --> 00:20:09.543 Okay. Good luck, buddy. 00:20:11.211 --> 00:20:12.796 Get out of the way. 00:20:21.221 --> 00:20:23.223 Where were you that time, dipshit? 00:20:37.070 --> 00:20:39.448 Probably the best I'll hit all day. 00:20:39.781 --> 00:20:41.533 Mr. Gilmore, you're up. 00:21:03.847 --> 00:21:04.932 Damn it! 00:21:07.017 --> 00:21:08.018 Time! 00:21:08.852 --> 00:21:12.022 Relax. Do what we discussed. Don't look at the green. 00:21:12.314 --> 00:21:15.442 Hit the ball. There's no goalie anywhere to block it. 00:21:15.776 --> 00:21:19.279 Remember, it's all in the hip. Come on. Work with me. 00:21:19.613 --> 00:21:22.950 It's all in the hips. All in the hips. 00:21:23.367 --> 00:21:25.786 It's all in the hips. 00:21:26.203 --> 00:21:27.120 Get off me! 00:21:27.412 --> 00:21:30.374 Just easing the tension. Just easing the tension. 00:21:30.666 --> 00:21:32.876 Well, ease it on someone else. 00:21:51.311 --> 00:21:52.980 What the hell? 00:21:56.817 --> 00:21:59.152 Good. Now we just worry about putting. 00:21:59.570 --> 00:22:00.988 Oh, yeah. Putting. 00:22:02.990 --> 00:22:04.950 Remember what I said. 00:22:05.284 --> 00:22:08.203 Use your shoulders to push the ball, not the arms. 00:22:08.412 --> 00:22:10.080 Don't break the wrist. 00:22:10.414 --> 00:22:14.668 Whoa, you're confusing me. Just let me put the ball in the hole. 00:22:29.683 --> 00:22:30.726 Is he kidding? 00:22:51.288 --> 00:22:52.706 This is pathetic. 00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:08.055 Good shot. 00:23:08.472 --> 00:23:09.389 It's about time. 00:23:09.640 --> 00:23:14.228 True. I just couldn't get the ball in the hole. I wanted to, but I couldn't. 00:23:45.175 --> 00:23:47.594 He shoots, he scores! 00:23:48.095 --> 00:23:53.016 That was much easier than putting. I should try and do that every time. 00:23:53.308 --> 00:23:54.685 Good plan. 00:23:54.852 --> 00:23:56.854 - Did you see that? - Yes. Nice. 00:23:57.187 --> 00:23:59.690 He got a hole in one on a par four. 00:23:59.857 --> 00:24:01.233 I said I saw it. 00:24:01.441 --> 00:24:04.695 I hope he wins. He's a publicist's dream. 00:24:04.987 --> 00:24:09.283 A guy who can drive the ball that far... he could really draw a crowd. 00:24:09.575 --> 00:24:13.537 So could a golfer with an arm growing out of his ass. 00:25:25.359 --> 00:25:28.946 Now, you make this one in four or less shots... 00:25:29.238 --> 00:25:30.697 ...you win the tournament. 00:25:30.906 --> 00:25:31.865 Four shots. 00:25:32.866 --> 00:25:36.870 Think of it this way. The other team has pulled their goalie. 00:25:37.287 --> 00:25:40.707 It's wide open. All you have to do is tap it in. 00:25:41.542 --> 00:25:43.126 I can do that. 00:26:02.396 --> 00:26:04.565 Don't worry. You're doing fine. 00:26:04.898 --> 00:26:08.569 All you have to do is tap it in. Just tap it in. 00:26:09.570 --> 00:26:11.780 Just tap it in. 00:26:18.162 --> 00:26:22.749 Just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy. 00:26:23.167 --> 00:26:24.585 Tap, tap, tap-a-roo. 00:26:28.755 --> 00:26:30.424 Grandma, Grandma... 00:26:30.757 --> 00:26:32.926 ...Grandma, Grandma. 00:26:36.180 --> 00:26:37.639 All right! 00:26:48.692 --> 00:26:51.111 He's going to be on the Tour. Super. 00:26:54.615 --> 00:26:56.533 That's cute. 00:26:57.451 --> 00:27:02.372 Mr. Gilmore, Virginia Venit. I'm P.R. Director of the Tour. 00:27:02.664 --> 00:27:03.624 Nice to meet you. 00:27:03.916 --> 00:27:05.375 Congratulations. 00:27:05.709 --> 00:27:09.463 I saw that hole in one on a par four. That must be a record. 00:27:09.630 --> 00:27:11.632 I got a hockey record. 00:27:11.965 --> 00:27:15.719 I tried to stab someone with my skate. Nobody else ever did that. 00:27:16.303 --> 00:27:17.471 That's wonderful. 00:27:17.804 --> 00:27:20.724 I am a bit bummed. I thought we got money for this. 00:27:21.016 --> 00:27:26.021 Cheer up. Next week in Portland, the winner takes home $216,000. 00:27:26.730 --> 00:27:28.315 And the guy who comes in last? 00:27:29.066 --> 00:27:30.317 $2,400. 00:27:30.609 --> 00:27:33.320 So no matter what, I'll get some money. 00:27:36.865 --> 00:27:40.327 Yeah. Well, I'll see you next week then. 00:27:40.828 --> 00:27:42.162 Bye. 00:27:44.998 --> 00:27:48.335 I hate to admit this, but this is my first trophy. 00:27:48.752 --> 00:27:51.171 I wish that goofy golf guy wasn't on top. 00:27:51.255 --> 00:27:53.674 Maybe I'll put a hockey guy on instead. 00:27:53.841 --> 00:27:55.759 Happy, shut your trap. 00:27:56.260 --> 00:27:58.554 - You were great out there today. - Thank you. 00:27:58.762 --> 00:28:01.682 But not that great. A lot of that was luck. 00:28:02.015 --> 00:28:04.810 Some might call it luck. I like to call it... 00:28:05.018 --> 00:28:07.020 ...well, luck, I guess. So what? 00:28:07.312 --> 00:28:09.189 Don't join the Pro Tour yet. 00:28:09.690 --> 00:28:12.442 We got work to do before you go against professionals. 00:28:12.609 --> 00:28:15.362 Forget it. I'll pick up the rest as I go. 00:28:15.529 --> 00:28:19.533 Don't be a fool! People would kill to hit the long ball like you. 00:28:19.825 --> 00:28:22.536 You got an advantage over any other golfer. 00:28:22.870 --> 00:28:25.122 By developing the rest of your game... 00:28:25.455 --> 00:28:27.040 ...you'd be unstoppable. 00:28:27.457 --> 00:28:29.710 You're right, but I need money. 00:28:30.043 --> 00:28:34.715 Don't be an asshole. Give me six months. I'll work with you every day. 00:28:35.465 --> 00:28:40.262 No, I got to go. I appreciate everything. Wish me luck. 00:28:44.433 --> 00:28:46.643 Best of luck, kid. Best of luck. 00:28:46.935 --> 00:28:49.980 Marty, shut up and I'll tell you. 00:28:50.272 --> 00:28:52.774 The price is $200 per quilt. 00:28:52.983 --> 00:28:55.694 Well, this is handmade quality shit. 00:28:56.111 --> 00:28:58.822 When do you need them by? Okay. 00:28:59.156 --> 00:29:00.824 Good doing business with you. 00:29:00.991 --> 00:29:04.328 Okay, everyone. Turn up your volumes. Announcement. 00:29:04.661 --> 00:29:07.789 Good news... arts and crafts time is extended 4 hours. 00:29:07.998 --> 00:29:09.666 My fingers hurt. 00:29:10.083 --> 00:29:11.335 What's that? 00:29:12.169 --> 00:29:13.754 My fingers hurt. 00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:20.010 Well, soon your back will hurt because you just got landscaping duty. 00:29:20.511 --> 00:29:22.095 Anyone else's fingers hurt? 00:29:24.056 --> 00:29:25.432 I didn't think so. 00:29:27.518 --> 00:29:30.103 Why do you make me act like that, huh? 00:29:30.521 --> 00:29:33.440 Mr. Gilmore! Toidy's to the right, dear. 00:29:33.774 --> 00:29:36.693 - How's Grandma? - Super. It's arts and crafts time. 00:29:36.860 --> 00:29:38.654 Grandma is quite a quilter. 00:29:39.780 --> 00:29:41.698 That's a tremendous trophy. 00:29:41.990 --> 00:29:44.493 Happy, I'm so glad to see you. 00:29:44.701 --> 00:29:46.286 I'm glad to see you, too. 00:29:46.453 --> 00:29:48.789 I think about you all the time. 00:29:49.206 --> 00:29:51.792 Looks like everyone's having fun here. 00:29:56.797 --> 00:30:00.133 Good news... I made the Professional Golfers' Tour. 00:30:00.467 --> 00:30:01.593 That's lovely. 00:30:01.802 --> 00:30:04.304 You know what else is lovely? 00:30:04.721 --> 00:30:08.809 If I can beat those other guys... we'll get the house back. 00:30:09.226 --> 00:30:13.397 Oh, thank God! I can't stand to live in this place another minute! 00:30:13.689 --> 00:30:15.482 I thought you liked it here. 00:30:15.899 --> 00:30:18.485 That orderly is nice. Don't you like him? 00:30:18.902 --> 00:30:20.153 Oh, I do. 00:30:20.487 --> 00:30:24.950 It's just that the air conditioner's broken. I'm getting a little warm. 00:30:25.159 --> 00:30:27.327 Let the kid fix it for you. 00:30:27.870 --> 00:30:30.372 Get the little twisty knobs. 00:30:31.832 --> 00:30:34.334 That ain't doing it. Okay. 00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:39.673 Mister! Mister! 00:30:40.090 --> 00:30:42.342 Get this off of me! Mister! 00:30:42.676 --> 00:30:44.261 I'll be right down! 00:30:44.845 --> 00:30:49.016 You know that "Mister, mister" lady? I think I killed her. 00:31:01.778 --> 00:31:05.699 Norman spends more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff. 00:31:06.950 --> 00:31:08.327 Come on, that was funny. 00:31:08.535 --> 00:31:11.246 - It was the first time I heard it. - Drink up. 00:31:11.538 --> 00:31:16.043 Anyone tapped the keg yet? I'll pump. I'm Happy Gilmore. 00:31:16.376 --> 00:31:18.462 Mark Lye. Welcome to the Tour. 00:31:18.754 --> 00:31:22.216 I heard about the ace you had on a par four. Impressive. 00:31:22.382 --> 00:31:24.051 You heard about that? 00:31:24.384 --> 00:31:26.803 Cool. That's a nice jacket. 00:31:27.095 --> 00:31:29.890 You get one if you win the Tour Championship. 00:31:30.224 --> 00:31:32.226 Oh, yeah? What's that? 00:31:32.518 --> 00:31:34.728 Only the biggest tournament of the year. 00:31:35.020 --> 00:31:37.731 Oh, really? Where's yours? 00:31:37.940 --> 00:31:41.818 Good one. He's funny. I'll have mine in three months. 00:31:42.110 --> 00:31:43.779 Not if I have anything to do with it. 00:31:44.071 --> 00:31:46.073 Whoa, look out. 00:31:46.573 --> 00:31:47.950 You better look out. 00:31:48.242 --> 00:31:51.411 If you're free, join us at 9:00 on the ninth green. 00:31:51.703 --> 00:31:54.498 - What happens there? - Secret of the pros. 00:31:54.832 --> 00:31:56.291 All right, cool. 00:31:56.583 --> 00:32:01.588 I'm out of here. I hear the Asteroids machine calling my name. Peace. 00:32:02.130 --> 00:32:04.633 And, Happy... dress nice, huh? 00:32:04.925 --> 00:32:06.593 All right, all right. 00:32:16.937 --> 00:32:18.814 Almost nine o'clock. 00:32:41.211 --> 00:32:44.047 Public relations lady, you seen Shooter McGavin? 00:32:44.381 --> 00:32:46.967 - No. Why? - I need to beat the piss out of him. 00:32:47.301 --> 00:32:50.387 Let me guess... the ninth green at nine trick. 00:32:50.721 --> 00:32:52.306 It would appear so. 00:32:52.598 --> 00:32:54.141 He does deserve a beating. 00:32:54.474 --> 00:32:58.437 But if you beat him up, I'll have to explain to the papers... 00:32:58.645 --> 00:33:02.816 ...why the new guy beat up Shooter McGavin. More work for me. 00:33:03.150 --> 00:33:04.484 I don't want to do that. 00:33:04.818 --> 00:33:07.905 Forget about Shooter. He's just threatened by you. 00:33:08.238 --> 00:33:10.532 He's afraid you'll steal his thunder. 00:33:10.824 --> 00:33:12.743 That's nice of you to say. 00:33:14.912 --> 00:33:18.165 So, I'm going to go change now. 00:33:19.917 --> 00:33:23.587 My girlfriend's dead. She fell off a cliff and died on impact. 00:33:23.879 --> 00:33:26.089 Really? I'm sorry to hear that. 00:33:28.342 --> 00:33:32.429 You should get some sleep. Tomorrow's a big day. 00:33:32.846 --> 00:33:34.515 You're right. It is. 00:33:46.193 --> 00:33:48.904 Hello. I'm Verne Lundquist, with Jack Beard. 00:33:49.112 --> 00:33:53.200 We have a nice crowd here on this sun-sational April morning... 00:33:53.367 --> 00:33:56.119 ...for the 22nd annual AT&T Invitational. 00:33:56.411 --> 00:33:59.540 Here today are elite golfers from around the world. 00:33:59.873 --> 00:34:04.044 The favorite is Shooter McGavin. He's won three of the last four. 00:34:07.881 --> 00:34:09.550 Thanks, man. 00:34:10.384 --> 00:34:11.718 Here's my last buck. 00:34:12.052 --> 00:34:13.637 This is the last time. 00:34:13.929 --> 00:34:17.808 He's just trying to make some money. Leave him alone. 00:34:19.768 --> 00:34:21.728 I don't know why I'm winning. 00:34:22.062 --> 00:34:25.190 I'm in the zone. The hole seems to get bigger. 00:34:25.399 --> 00:34:26.859 You like being the favorite? 00:34:27.067 --> 00:34:30.487 I'm not. With the great players here, anyone could win. 00:34:30.821 --> 00:34:32.281 I'll just do my best. 00:34:32.489 --> 00:34:36.326 The real favorite is Portland. Every time I visit, it's harder to leave. 00:34:36.660 --> 00:34:39.580 Must be something in the water. Well, time to play golf. 00:34:39.913 --> 00:34:41.165 Good luck. 00:34:42.082 --> 00:34:44.918 I'm a hockey player playing golf today. 00:34:45.085 --> 00:34:46.170 Name? 00:34:46.336 --> 00:34:47.504 Happy Gilmore. 00:34:47.921 --> 00:34:49.590 The guy with the long drive. 00:34:49.923 --> 00:34:52.843 - Caddy's name? - You haven't given me one yet. 00:34:53.135 --> 00:34:55.429 On the Pro Tour, you provide your own. 00:34:55.929 --> 00:34:57.306 Really? 00:34:59.183 --> 00:35:00.350 Okay. 00:35:02.519 --> 00:35:05.355 Easy with those clubs. They're antiques. 00:35:07.608 --> 00:35:10.444 Gary Potter. Great to have you on the Tour. 00:35:10.777 --> 00:35:15.240 I feel a lot of solid energy coming out of you. Good positive aura. 00:35:15.449 --> 00:35:17.117 Nice to meet you. 00:35:17.534 --> 00:35:20.787 Is it always like this... TV cameras, people and stuff? 00:35:21.079 --> 00:35:23.582 Yeah, a lot of pressure. Rise above it. 00:35:23.790 --> 00:35:26.710 Harness in the good energy, block out the bad. 00:35:27.044 --> 00:35:29.129 Harness energy, block bad. 00:35:29.546 --> 00:35:32.132 Feel the flow, Happy. It's circular. 00:35:32.549 --> 00:35:34.009 It's like a carousel. 00:35:34.301 --> 00:35:37.221 You get on the horse. It goes up, down and around. 00:35:37.554 --> 00:35:41.600 Circular. Circle. With the music, the flow. All good things. 00:35:42.142 --> 00:35:45.395 Okay. Well, great. Thanks. Nice to meet you. 00:35:46.230 --> 00:35:47.481 Psycho. 00:35:47.981 --> 00:35:50.400 Next to tee off, Happy Gilmore. 00:35:52.027 --> 00:35:53.737 Give me a club. 00:35:55.489 --> 00:35:56.824 I'll get it. 00:36:08.836 --> 00:36:12.381 Fu..., sh..., fu..., ass... 00:36:21.765 --> 00:36:22.933 Sorry. 00:36:27.938 --> 00:36:28.856 Psycho. 00:36:45.205 --> 00:36:47.958 What a shot by Happy Gilmore! 00:36:48.250 --> 00:36:50.043 Who the hell is Happy Gilmore? 00:37:12.649 --> 00:37:14.109 Oh, yeah! 00:37:15.986 --> 00:37:17.154 I got it! 00:37:18.989 --> 00:37:19.948 Like that, baby? 00:37:20.240 --> 00:37:22.868 Plenty more where that came from! 00:37:24.953 --> 00:37:27.247 Get Virginia Venit in here, now. 00:37:27.456 --> 00:37:28.999 Use a five iron. 00:37:29.249 --> 00:37:31.627 You think so? Give me my wedge. 00:37:45.516 --> 00:37:48.810 Five iron, huh? You're fired. Bye-bye. 00:38:03.325 --> 00:38:07.913 What are you doing, Happy... riding a bull? You're acting like a damn fool! 00:38:14.086 --> 00:38:17.714 Doing the bull dance. Feeling the flow. Working it. 00:38:18.006 --> 00:38:21.134 On the 18th green, Shooter McGavin putts for the win. 00:38:21.468 --> 00:38:25.722 His crowd seems unusually small for this type of moment. 00:38:31.395 --> 00:38:34.189 Most people are over watching Happy Gilmore. 00:38:34.481 --> 00:38:36.149 He's the talk of the course... 00:38:36.400 --> 00:38:39.820 ...with his huge drives and bizarre behavior. 00:38:40.028 --> 00:38:44.408 He's on the 17th green right now, having trouble closing out his day. 00:38:44.741 --> 00:38:49.204 Happy, the ball has its own energy or life force, if you will. 00:38:49.621 --> 00:38:52.541 Its natural environment is in the hole. 00:38:52.833 --> 00:38:54.501 Why don't you send him home? 00:38:55.252 --> 00:38:58.088 His bags are packed. He has his plane ticket. 00:38:58.380 --> 00:39:00.048 Bring him to the airport. 00:39:00.674 --> 00:39:01.800 Send him home. 00:39:03.260 --> 00:39:05.762 Send him home. I'll send him home. 00:39:06.096 --> 00:39:08.599 It's time to go home, ball. 00:39:12.686 --> 00:39:15.689 Son of a bitch ball! Why didn't you go home?! 00:39:15.898 --> 00:39:20.068 That's your home! Are you too good for your home?! Answer me! 00:39:20.486 --> 00:39:22.905 Suck my white ass, ball! 00:39:29.161 --> 00:39:33.081 Draft a press release stating Gilmore is being thrown off the Tour. 00:39:33.415 --> 00:39:34.958 I want to see it by 6:00 P.M. 00:39:35.292 --> 00:39:39.463 You're right... his behavior is completely unacceptable. 00:39:39.796 --> 00:39:43.133 But golf has been waiting for a player like this. 00:39:43.425 --> 00:39:46.136 A colorful, emotional, working class hero. 00:39:46.345 --> 00:39:49.556 I will not tolerate this behavior. Gilmore is gone. 00:39:49.765 --> 00:39:51.642 I got a call from the Dallas Open. 00:39:51.850 --> 00:39:55.521 They're deluged with calls from people who want to see Happy. 00:39:55.812 --> 00:39:57.814 - They sold out. - Already? 00:39:58.106 --> 00:40:01.360 I know he's a little rough. Let me work with him. 00:40:03.654 --> 00:40:07.074 Okay. Fine. But he's your responsibility. 00:40:07.491 --> 00:40:09.493 If he cleans up, he can stay. 00:40:09.701 --> 00:40:11.995 If he doesn't, it's your ass. 00:40:12.329 --> 00:40:13.997 And any more of this... 00:40:17.501 --> 00:40:18.961 ...and he's gone. 00:40:27.010 --> 00:40:28.345 Shooter! Shooter! 00:40:28.595 --> 00:40:30.764 What do you think of Happy Gilmore? 00:40:30.973 --> 00:40:34.184 I didn't see him play. I was too busy winning. 00:40:34.518 --> 00:40:36.687 But a 450-yard drive is impressive. 00:40:36.937 --> 00:40:41.275 Yeah. Where did he finish again? Dead last? Yeah, he had a good day. 00:40:41.692 --> 00:40:43.277 Did he really make a 450-yard ace? 00:40:43.485 --> 00:40:44.862 Where's my check? 00:40:45.154 --> 00:40:46.405 We mail them next week. 00:40:46.697 --> 00:40:47.948 I want mine now. 00:40:48.282 --> 00:40:49.616 I don't have any checks. 00:40:49.867 --> 00:40:53.370 He got one. Give me one of them big ones, I don't care. 00:40:55.581 --> 00:40:56.832 Give me a beer, pal. 00:40:57.249 --> 00:40:58.500 Put that on my tab. 00:40:58.834 --> 00:41:01.628 You were the talk of the tournament, Gilmore. 00:41:01.837 --> 00:41:03.380 Wow, thanks a lot. 00:41:03.714 --> 00:41:07.968 You sure crush the ball at the tee. You'd do well in a long-drive contest. 00:41:08.302 --> 00:41:12.055 You'd make good money, traveling, hustling at driving ranges. 00:41:12.264 --> 00:41:14.975 I know what you're doing right now... 00:41:15.184 --> 00:41:20.189 ...and I don't like it. So just shut your trap before I put my foot in it. 00:41:22.566 --> 00:41:26.570 Don't turn your back on me. Listen, this is Shooter's tour. 00:41:26.862 --> 00:41:30.115 I worked hard, paid my dues... now it's Shooter's turn. 00:41:30.324 --> 00:41:34.578 Shooter won't let his reign at the top be spoiled by some freak. 00:41:34.912 --> 00:41:36.371 Did you call me a freak? 00:41:36.872 --> 00:41:39.500 I was on this tour for one reason... money. 00:41:39.583 --> 00:41:41.877 Now I got a new one... kicking your ass. 00:41:42.294 --> 00:41:44.713 I'd like to see you try. 00:41:45.756 --> 00:41:46.798 Let's do it. 00:41:47.925 --> 00:41:49.259 I meant at golf. 00:41:49.510 --> 00:41:51.178 What's going on here? 00:41:51.470 --> 00:41:54.181 I was looking for the other half of this bottle. 00:41:54.389 --> 00:41:57.226 Oh, there's some of it right there. 00:41:57.518 --> 00:41:59.811 - Why don't you put it down? - I know. 00:42:00.938 --> 00:42:04.942 Just stay out of my way. Or you'll pay. Listen to what I say. 00:42:05.442 --> 00:42:07.402 Why don't I go eat some hay? 00:42:07.736 --> 00:42:10.948 I could make things out of clay and lay by the bay. 00:42:11.281 --> 00:42:12.741 What do you say? 00:42:17.621 --> 00:42:20.249 Calm down or you'll get kicked off the Tour. 00:42:20.666 --> 00:42:23.585 - That can't happen. - It can, and I don't want it to. 00:42:24.002 --> 00:42:25.462 You could be a big star. 00:42:25.671 --> 00:42:27.631 I just want to make some money. 00:42:27.965 --> 00:42:31.301 You won't be around long enough to do that if you don't behave. 00:42:31.510 --> 00:42:33.387 What do you mean by "behave"? 00:42:33.595 --> 00:42:35.973 No swearing, no throwing clubs... 00:42:36.223 --> 00:42:38.934 ...and especially no hitting other players. 00:42:39.142 --> 00:42:41.019 You mean no fun. 00:42:41.228 --> 00:42:42.771 You can have fun. 00:42:43.105 --> 00:42:47.651 That's why I think people come to see you. But keep it within reason. 00:42:48.819 --> 00:42:53.615 I will work on what you call behaving. But I won't act like a stiff. 00:42:54.032 --> 00:42:56.118 Fine. Thank you. 00:42:57.703 --> 00:42:59.163 Hey, um... 00:42:59.663 --> 00:43:01.331 ...you want to get some food? 00:43:01.623 --> 00:43:04.334 No, thanks. I don't date golfers. 00:43:04.668 --> 00:43:06.545 Good. I'm a hockey player. 00:43:09.047 --> 00:43:11.341 Just behave, okay? 00:43:14.469 --> 00:43:18.640 Happy Gilmore approaches the tee in the 72nd annual Cleveland Classic. 00:43:19.057 --> 00:43:21.977 Happy Gilmore! Drive it 400 yards! 00:43:22.394 --> 00:43:26.023 I can't believe I have fans. I waited all my life for that. 00:43:28.025 --> 00:43:29.693 Don't be alarmed, Mr. Gilmore. 00:43:29.902 --> 00:43:33.155 I know we had our problems, but I'm proud of you. 00:43:33.363 --> 00:43:35.115 Thanks a lot, Mr. Larson. 00:43:35.324 --> 00:43:37.326 It's good to see you again. 00:43:37.701 --> 00:43:40.037 How's that, uh, thing feeling? 00:43:40.329 --> 00:43:42.706 Terrific. The nail comes out next week. 00:43:43.040 --> 00:43:45.209 Well, you hardly even notice it. 00:43:49.379 --> 00:43:51.173 Let's make a little noise here. 00:43:53.550 --> 00:43:55.844 Come on! I can't hear you! 00:44:22.454 --> 00:44:24.414 Trying to reach the green from here? 00:44:24.665 --> 00:44:26.083 That's not possible, sir. 00:44:26.416 --> 00:44:27.376 I beg to differ. 00:44:27.459 --> 00:44:31.421 Happy Gilmore accomplished that feat no more than an hour ago. 00:44:31.755 --> 00:44:35.592 Well, moron, good for Happy... Oh, my God! 00:44:46.144 --> 00:44:47.187 Oh, my God. 00:44:54.987 --> 00:44:58.407 Hey, Shooter, you forgot your nine iron. 00:45:02.703 --> 00:45:07.207 A large and economically diverse crowd here at the Michelob Invitational. 00:45:07.499 --> 00:45:10.127 It's the tour sensation, Happy Gilmore... 00:45:10.419 --> 00:45:15.215 ...who's attracting all types to this course. I even saw one guy... 00:45:15.424 --> 00:45:18.886 ...wearing one of those beer-dispensing helmets. 00:45:27.853 --> 00:45:30.731 Damn you people. Go back to your shanties. 00:45:31.690 --> 00:45:35.319 This is a biggie, pal. I got to make some real money. 00:45:35.569 --> 00:45:37.946 What do you think? Slightly downhill? 00:45:38.238 --> 00:45:39.406 And slanting left. 00:45:39.615 --> 00:45:42.743 No, you think that 'cause you only got one shoe on. 00:45:44.495 --> 00:45:45.662 Oh, yeah. 00:46:00.052 --> 00:46:01.178 Happy Gilmore 00:46:32.167 --> 00:46:33.293 You got the ball? 00:46:42.886 --> 00:46:44.680 Happy Gilmore from nine feet. 00:46:45.097 --> 00:46:46.890 Here comes the putter throw. 00:46:47.182 --> 00:46:52.062 Wait. He's restrained himself. Maybe this is a new Happy Gilmore. 00:46:56.358 --> 00:46:59.820 Another tournament here in Dallas, and Shooter McGavin wins again. 00:47:00.112 --> 00:47:02.406 He's won here 3 years in a row. 00:47:15.752 --> 00:47:17.504 That son of a bitch! 00:47:17.921 --> 00:47:22.092 Give me my ball! Give it here! Cough it up, you dirty bastard! 00:47:22.426 --> 00:47:23.760 I'll rip it out of you! 00:47:24.011 --> 00:47:25.012 Give me... 00:47:25.762 --> 00:47:27.097 Give me the ball. 00:47:32.227 --> 00:47:33.770 You have one eye. 00:47:35.439 --> 00:47:36.690 Chubbs. 00:47:37.441 --> 00:47:38.609 You took his hand. 00:48:21.318 --> 00:48:24.655 That Happy Gilmore is a real crack-up. He's a hoot! 00:48:24.905 --> 00:48:27.908 He's bringing in some big crowds. 00:48:28.242 --> 00:48:32.287 Today, one of his fans mooned me. He had "HAPPY" written on his ass. 00:48:32.579 --> 00:48:35.916 "HA" was on one cheek and "PPY" on the other. 00:48:36.250 --> 00:48:38.001 I love what he's doing for golf. 00:48:38.252 --> 00:48:42.089 - Well, I'm starting to come around. - Everyone is. 00:48:42.297 --> 00:48:43.841 Well, I'm not, Doug!! 00:48:44.091 --> 00:48:45.759 This man is destroying golf. 00:48:46.051 --> 00:48:49.179 I saw two fat bikers in the woods off 17 having sex. 00:48:49.388 --> 00:48:51.348 How can I chip with that going on? 00:48:51.682 --> 00:48:55.644 - Kick him off the Tour. - He hasn't broken any rules. 00:48:56.061 --> 00:48:57.437 He's a disgrace to the game! 00:48:57.729 --> 00:49:02.317 Yes, but our ratings are up. We're attracting new, youthful sponsors. 00:49:02.860 --> 00:49:04.278 I'm sorry, Shooter. 00:49:04.611 --> 00:49:06.071 There's nothing I can do. 00:49:09.825 --> 00:49:12.619 Then I'll have to take care of this myself. 00:49:13.579 --> 00:49:17.207 Grandma, I came in 9th place. I won $35,000. 00:49:17.457 --> 00:49:19.126 So we'll get the house back? 00:49:19.418 --> 00:49:22.045 As long as I don't place last the next two times... 00:49:22.337 --> 00:49:23.797 ...we'll get the money in time. 00:49:24.006 --> 00:49:25.966 That's wonderful, Happy. 00:49:26.300 --> 00:49:27.885 I love you, Grandma. Bye. 00:49:28.177 --> 00:49:29.720 Good-bye, darling. 00:49:34.558 --> 00:49:38.187 We should go on that date. I've been pretty good lately. 00:49:38.478 --> 00:49:41.815 Oh? I hear you broke a rake and threw it in the woods. 00:49:42.065 --> 00:49:45.694 I didn't break it. I was testing its durability. 00:49:45.986 --> 00:49:48.906 I put it in the woods because it's made of wood... 00:49:49.031 --> 00:49:50.991 ...and he should be with his family. 00:49:52.493 --> 00:49:54.328 At least I didn't punch anyone. 00:49:55.412 --> 00:49:59.249 Okay, we'll go on a date. But just as friends. 00:49:59.750 --> 00:50:02.669 Slow down. I don't want to be more than friends. 00:50:03.003 --> 00:50:04.671 I just met you. 00:50:08.759 --> 00:50:10.093 Fit you okay? 00:50:10.427 --> 00:50:13.347 I haven't skated since I was a little kid. 00:50:15.599 --> 00:50:18.435 Can we get a little time here? 00:50:19.603 --> 00:50:22.606 For Happy Gilmore, anything. 00:50:25.943 --> 00:50:27.611 You played ice hockey? 00:50:27.945 --> 00:50:29.071 Shut up. 00:50:31.156 --> 00:50:32.950 Oh, my God... power failure. 00:50:33.450 --> 00:50:35.452 It's very scary in here. 00:50:35.619 --> 00:50:36.787 Did you plan this? 00:50:37.120 --> 00:50:38.372 No. 00:50:42.709 --> 00:50:45.546 I thought we were going to be just friends. 00:50:46.171 --> 00:50:49.633 What? Friends listen to "Endless Love" in the dark. 00:51:03.689 --> 00:51:07.568 This song reminds me of seventh grade. 00:51:07.734 --> 00:51:10.237 It reminds me of my grandmother. 00:51:10.571 --> 00:51:11.822 That's kind of weird. 00:51:12.156 --> 00:51:14.241 She took me to see this movie. 00:51:14.324 --> 00:51:17.035 I had the biggest crush on Brooke Shields. 00:51:18.162 --> 00:51:22.166 My grandma told me I should write her a letter, so I did. 00:51:22.583 --> 00:51:25.502 I got a letter back from Brooke two weeks later. 00:51:25.669 --> 00:51:28.422 But it was in my grandmother's handwriting. 00:51:29.256 --> 00:51:30.924 Your grandma sounds sweet. 00:51:31.216 --> 00:51:34.845 She is sweet. That's why I feel so terrible. 00:51:35.179 --> 00:51:36.346 Why? 00:51:37.681 --> 00:51:39.683 No, forget it. 00:51:40.601 --> 00:51:42.686 You can tell me. 00:51:43.520 --> 00:51:47.900 She's stuck in a nursing home. The IRS repossessed her house. 00:51:48.525 --> 00:51:49.776 That's awful. 00:51:50.110 --> 00:51:51.528 That's why I joined the Tour. 00:51:51.862 --> 00:51:54.281 I'm close to getting her house back. 00:51:54.448 --> 00:51:57.284 Don't tell anyone. I'm kind of embarrassed. 00:51:58.744 --> 00:52:01.121 Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. 00:52:03.457 --> 00:52:04.875 I'll make you a bet. 00:52:05.959 --> 00:52:07.628 Do you always carry a puck? 00:52:07.794 --> 00:52:08.879 Yeah. 00:52:10.422 --> 00:52:14.384 Now, if you get that puck in the net over there... 00:52:14.801 --> 00:52:17.721 ...Iíll never bother you again. 00:52:18.222 --> 00:52:20.974 But if you miss... 00:52:21.808 --> 00:52:24.603 ...you have to give me a big, fat kiss. 00:52:25.020 --> 00:52:26.563 And you have to pretend you like it. 00:52:27.105 --> 00:52:28.232 Really? 00:52:28.774 --> 00:52:29.817 Good luck. 00:52:43.163 --> 00:52:44.414 Shit. 00:52:45.249 --> 00:52:47.668 Talk about your all-time backfires. 00:52:49.086 --> 00:52:50.170 Happy... 00:52:53.799 --> 00:52:55.467 ...I didn't see it go in. 00:53:08.272 --> 00:53:11.942 I'll give it all to you 00:53:13.610 --> 00:53:16.613 My love, my love, my love 00:53:17.364 --> 00:53:19.950 My endless love 00:53:37.718 --> 00:53:39.887 Welcome to soggy San Francisco... 00:53:40.220 --> 00:53:42.472 ...site of this year's Pepsi Pro-Am. 00:53:43.015 --> 00:53:45.392 Hello, Happy. I'm Bob Barker. 00:53:45.726 --> 00:53:47.728 What an honor. Nice to meet you. 00:53:48.020 --> 00:53:50.230 We're playing together today. 00:53:51.148 --> 00:53:53.734 That's funny. Who am I really playing with? 00:53:53.984 --> 00:53:56.778 In a Pro-Am, each golfer plays with a celebrity. 00:53:56.987 --> 00:53:57.905 Wow. 00:53:58.155 --> 00:54:02.409 Nick Faldo and I won last year. I'd like to win this year. 00:54:02.618 --> 00:54:04.495 I'll do my best. 00:54:05.120 --> 00:54:06.580 Hey, Gilmore? 00:54:06.914 --> 00:54:09.416 You suck, you jackass. 00:54:09.708 --> 00:54:11.168 Shut the hell up. 00:54:13.462 --> 00:54:17.216 I'd love to punch that guy in the face, but I'd get in trouble. 00:54:17.508 --> 00:54:19.510 You get this on "Let's Make A Deal"? 00:54:19.718 --> 00:54:21.178 "The Price Is Right", Happy. 00:54:22.012 --> 00:54:22.930 Oh, yeah. Sorry. 00:54:23.263 --> 00:54:25.682 It happens. Let's play some golf. 00:54:31.104 --> 00:54:32.439 Jackass. 00:54:36.401 --> 00:54:38.070 The club went further than the ball. 00:54:39.863 --> 00:54:41.406 What was that all about? 00:54:41.698 --> 00:54:46.703 It's just that it's rainy and that guy... It just slipped. 00:54:53.627 --> 00:54:58.298 Get a blanket and suntan lotion, 'cause you'll never get off that beach. 00:54:58.799 --> 00:55:02.970 Just the way you never got into the NHL, you jackass! 00:55:09.643 --> 00:55:11.436 The green's that way. 00:55:19.069 --> 00:55:22.072 You will not make this putt, you jackass. 00:55:27.828 --> 00:55:29.371 Nice shooting, soldier. 00:55:33.834 --> 00:55:35.836 All right, Happy... 00:55:36.336 --> 00:55:38.338 ...nice and easy. 00:55:43.552 --> 00:55:45.846 That was not nice and easy. 00:55:50.642 --> 00:55:52.436 That guy is driving me crazy. 00:55:52.728 --> 00:55:56.482 What's driving me crazy is you not getting the ball in the hole. 00:55:56.899 --> 00:55:59.693 Don't push me, Bob. Now's not the time. 00:56:04.531 --> 00:56:05.866 Jackass. 00:56:10.662 --> 00:56:12.539 This guy sucks! 00:56:13.582 --> 00:56:17.753 We haven't seen Gilmore play this badly since his first day on tour. 00:56:18.045 --> 00:56:21.089 He and Bob Barker are now dead last. 00:56:21.381 --> 00:56:25.552 You should be working at the snack bar, not playing golf. 00:56:25.802 --> 00:56:27.137 Relax, Bob. 00:56:27.346 --> 00:56:31.808 There is no way you could have been as bad at hockey as you are at golf. 00:56:32.226 --> 00:56:33.894 Okay, let's go. 00:56:35.270 --> 00:56:38.190 You like that, old man?! You want a piece of me? 00:56:39.024 --> 00:56:42.152 I don't want a piece of you. I want the whole thing! 00:56:57.376 --> 00:56:59.670 Now you're gonna get it, Bobby! 00:57:19.898 --> 00:57:21.984 The price is wrong, bitch. 00:57:33.245 --> 00:57:34.788 I think you've had enough. 00:57:35.956 --> 00:57:36.874 No? 00:57:39.918 --> 00:57:41.587 Now you've had enough. 00:57:42.421 --> 00:57:43.797 Bitch. 00:57:46.592 --> 00:57:48.260 That couldn't have gone better. 00:57:48.385 --> 00:57:51.054 Instead of hitting you, he hits Bob Barker. 00:57:51.305 --> 00:57:52.306 Perfect. 00:57:52.556 --> 00:57:54.641 So, see you at the next tournament? 00:57:54.933 --> 00:57:58.896 No need. This was on national TV. Gilmore is gone. 00:57:59.104 --> 00:58:02.983 Let's get something at the Red Lobster. My treat. 00:58:03.275 --> 00:58:04.526 Some other time. 00:58:04.818 --> 00:58:06.612 I thought we were friends. 00:58:07.029 --> 00:58:09.323 We are. I just have to go. 00:58:09.656 --> 00:58:13.494 I'll be at the Red Lobster in case you change your mind. 00:58:13.827 --> 00:58:15.245 God bless! 00:58:15.913 --> 00:58:17.247 There you are. 00:58:17.581 --> 00:58:19.833 Happy Gilmore, come on down! 00:58:20.167 --> 00:58:22.252 Thank you, Shooter. Sit down. 00:58:23.003 --> 00:58:26.840 So you got in a fight with a game show host on national TV. 00:58:27.049 --> 00:58:28.717 That is not entertainment. 00:58:29.009 --> 00:58:32.262 This is not hockey, no matter how much you want it to be. 00:58:32.471 --> 00:58:34.681 I know that and I'm sorry. 00:58:34.973 --> 00:58:36.934 But there was a guy out there... 00:58:37.267 --> 00:58:40.395 ...giving me crap. It took all I had not to hit him. 00:58:40.687 --> 00:58:44.358 So you head-butt Bob Barker? Who won that fight, anyway? 00:58:44.691 --> 00:58:45.692 Enough, Shooter. 00:58:45.943 --> 00:58:48.111 The board has done the following: 00:58:48.320 --> 00:58:51.114 Fined you $25,000 and suspended you for one month. 00:58:51.448 --> 00:58:54.451 - What?! I got to play! - What?! Kick him off the Tour. 00:58:54.993 --> 00:58:57.788 The board thinks that might be extreme... 00:58:58.121 --> 00:59:01.458 ...considering the fact that our ratings were... 00:59:01.959 --> 00:59:03.627 ...the highest we've ever had. 00:59:03.877 --> 00:59:06.547 My grandmother's house got repossessed. 00:59:06.880 --> 00:59:10.717 If I don't win more prize money, they'll sell it to someone else. 00:59:11.051 --> 00:59:13.345 Whoop-dee-doo. Get out. 00:59:18.767 --> 00:59:23.230 It's over. My grandmother will never see her house again. 00:59:23.480 --> 00:59:27.818 But you've made a lot of money. You could buy her a nice condo. 00:59:27.943 --> 00:59:31.822 My grandfather didn't build any condos with his bare hands. 00:59:32.239 --> 00:59:34.616 Damn it, I hate that Bob Barker. 00:59:34.908 --> 00:59:38.078 There must be another way to get the $50,000. 00:59:38.370 --> 00:59:42.124 I don't want to talk about it. I failed, okay? 00:59:42.416 --> 00:59:45.878 Let me just enjoy the one thing that makes me a bit happy... 00:59:46.170 --> 00:59:48.797 ...this fresh, delicious, tasty... 00:59:49.089 --> 00:59:51.300 ...meaty, turkey-filled... 00:59:51.592 --> 00:59:56.430 ...Cold Cut Combo. I eat three every day just to keep me strong. 00:59:56.722 --> 00:59:57.973 Hey, Happy... 00:59:58.265 --> 00:59:59.933 ...can I have one of those? 01:00:00.267 --> 01:00:01.935 Coming right up! 01:00:07.441 --> 01:00:09.776 Talk about a hole in one. 01:00:10.068 --> 01:00:13.280 Subway sandwiches will drive away your hunger. 01:00:14.364 --> 01:00:15.365 What do you think? 01:00:15.491 --> 01:00:18.827 I love it. He looks so handsome. And it makes me hungry. 01:00:19.119 --> 01:00:22.789 They gave me a card that gives us free Subway for life. 01:00:22.998 --> 01:00:24.124 That's lovely. 01:00:24.458 --> 01:00:26.460 You know what else is lovely? 01:00:26.752 --> 01:00:29.963 That commercial puts us up to $275,000. 01:00:30.297 --> 01:00:32.466 Let's go get your house back. 01:00:42.184 --> 01:00:43.852 What the hell? 01:00:49.066 --> 01:00:50.400 What's going on here? 01:00:50.651 --> 01:00:54.488 It's exciting. We're auctioning off your grandmother's house. 01:00:54.696 --> 01:00:58.033 You said if we got the money, we could buy it back. 01:00:58.325 --> 01:00:59.576 You can buy it back. 01:01:00.327 --> 01:01:02.913 Bidding will start at $100,000. Do I hear 100? 01:01:03.163 --> 01:01:05.415 This is the exciting part. Have fun. 01:01:06.792 --> 01:01:10.420 Look at all these people. What's going on, Happy? 01:01:10.838 --> 01:01:12.089 Thank you, two. 01:01:12.506 --> 01:01:14.174 They're auctioning it off. 01:01:14.424 --> 01:01:17.219 Good. We'll get it cheaper than we thought. 01:01:17.511 --> 01:01:19.513 Two fifty, thank you. 01:01:20.138 --> 01:01:22.349 Maybe not. Two seventy-five! 01:01:22.641 --> 01:01:24.852 Two seventy-five. And three. 01:01:25.144 --> 01:01:26.520 Three fifty down front. 01:01:26.812 --> 01:01:30.149 I have three fifty. Seventy-five anywhere? 01:01:30.566 --> 01:01:34.027 Three fifty... sold to the gentleman in the white sweater. 01:01:34.319 --> 01:01:35.863 What just happened, Happy? 01:01:37.656 --> 01:01:39.449 Go wait in the car, Grandma. 01:01:41.285 --> 01:01:43.370 What the hell is wrong with you? 01:01:43.620 --> 01:01:45.706 I enjoy real estate speculation. 01:01:47.124 --> 01:01:51.128 You touch me, I burn the house down and piss on the ashes. 01:01:51.420 --> 01:01:52.963 What do you want for it? 01:01:53.630 --> 01:01:54.631 You know what. 01:01:55.048 --> 01:01:57.050 You off the Tour. 01:01:57.259 --> 01:01:59.761 Quit, and the house is yours. 01:02:00.053 --> 01:02:01.138 Fine. I quit. 01:02:01.430 --> 01:02:03.390 No way. Happy, come here. 01:02:03.640 --> 01:02:07.478 He's right. I don't belong in golf. I'm a hockey player. 01:02:07.686 --> 01:02:10.063 - What team do you play for? - Easy. 01:02:10.397 --> 01:02:13.317 Face it, Happy. You are a golfer. 01:02:14.151 --> 01:02:18.655 I did this to get Grandma's house back. Now I can. No regrets. 01:02:19.072 --> 01:02:24.077 What do you think she wants more... to get her house back or see you succeed? 01:02:26.246 --> 01:02:29.917 Maybe she can have both. Hey, Shooter. 01:02:30.626 --> 01:02:32.836 The Tour Championship is next week. 01:02:33.545 --> 01:02:37.174 If I beat you, I get the house. You beat me, I'll quit. 01:02:37.508 --> 01:02:40.427 You're going to beat me? At golf? 01:02:42.513 --> 01:02:43.847 You're on. 01:02:44.389 --> 01:02:48.018 But you're in trouble. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast. 01:02:48.268 --> 01:02:50.521 You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? 01:02:52.439 --> 01:02:53.565 No. 01:02:58.445 --> 01:03:01.615 That was great. I know you will kick his ass. 01:03:01.907 --> 01:03:03.575 That makes one of us. 01:03:03.867 --> 01:03:06.620 Take care of Grandma. I'll walk from here. 01:03:06.912 --> 01:03:09.957 - Where are you going? - To learn to play golf. 01:03:12.626 --> 01:03:15.128 I'm stupid, you're smart. 01:03:15.671 --> 01:03:17.756 I was wrong, you were right. 01:03:18.298 --> 01:03:20.801 You're the best, I'm the worst. 01:03:21.093 --> 01:03:24.972 You're very good-looking, I'm not attractive. 01:03:25.264 --> 01:03:28.892 Okay, as long as you're willing to admit that. Now... 01:03:29.143 --> 01:03:32.980 ...are you ready to work and do what I tell you? 01:03:33.313 --> 01:03:34.857 Believe me, I'm ready. 01:03:35.983 --> 01:03:37.651 Then let's get to work. 01:03:39.570 --> 01:03:42.072 I'm sorry. Here. 01:03:43.198 --> 01:03:44.658 Here's your pinky. 01:03:52.374 --> 01:03:54.168 "Happyland", just like me. 01:03:54.459 --> 01:03:56.753 Don't get excited. I've been here before. 01:03:59.339 --> 01:04:03.510 This is embarrassing. I'm a professional golfer, for God's sake. 01:04:03.760 --> 01:04:07.598 No, it's your short game that's embarrassing. Let's go. 01:04:22.821 --> 01:04:26.158 Just line up the putt. Don't even look at the hole. 01:04:26.575 --> 01:04:31.038 Aim for a spot six inches in front of the hole. Line up with that. 01:04:31.371 --> 01:04:33.373 Okay. Six inches. 01:04:56.396 --> 01:04:58.398 This one's very tough. 01:05:03.278 --> 01:05:05.072 He's laughing, having fun. 01:05:05.364 --> 01:05:07.658 Yeah, laugh it up. Enjoy your night. 01:05:08.575 --> 01:05:10.369 Happy, concentrate. 01:05:17.459 --> 01:05:19.002 I hate that clown. 01:05:19.336 --> 01:05:24.007 Easy. If you can't beat the clown, how will you beat Shooter McGavin? 01:05:32.474 --> 01:05:34.143 You're gonna die, clown! 01:05:36.103 --> 01:05:39.022 Is that funny? I don't hear you laughing now! 01:05:39.439 --> 01:05:40.607 Enough. 01:05:40.816 --> 01:05:42.359 What? I can't do it! 01:05:42.901 --> 01:05:46.113 Come with me, Happy. Come on! 01:05:46.446 --> 01:05:48.532 You suck, you stupid clown! 01:05:50.826 --> 01:05:52.619 Remember, this isn't hockey. 01:05:52.911 --> 01:05:57.082 You don't play with raw emotion. You can't putt angry. 01:05:57.499 --> 01:06:01.253 You must clear your mind of everything else and stay focused. 01:06:06.133 --> 01:06:07.926 How can I do that? 01:06:08.343 --> 01:06:11.471 Think of a place that's really perfect. 01:06:11.805 --> 01:06:13.974 Your own happy place. 01:06:14.308 --> 01:06:17.394 Go there and all your anger will disappear. 01:06:17.811 --> 01:06:19.062 Then putt. 01:06:20.022 --> 01:06:21.273 Happy place. 01:06:21.690 --> 01:06:23.484 Happy place. 01:06:23.775 --> 01:06:25.652 Your happy place. 01:06:55.599 --> 01:06:56.600 Now how do you feel? 01:06:56.850 --> 01:06:57.851 Better. 01:06:58.519 --> 01:06:59.520 Now putt. 01:07:22.167 --> 01:07:23.544 Your happy place. 01:07:30.509 --> 01:07:33.011 We took some giant steps tonight. 01:07:33.846 --> 01:07:35.514 I'm really proud of you. 01:07:36.056 --> 01:07:37.182 Here. 01:07:38.225 --> 01:07:40.519 I got something special for you. 01:07:40.936 --> 01:07:41.895 Thanks, Chubbs. 01:07:42.187 --> 01:07:46.900 It's the putter I used when I played... slightly modified, of course. 01:07:47.192 --> 01:07:49.695 Man, this is excellent. 01:07:50.946 --> 01:07:55.826 You got the spirit of a hockey player in you, so I figured... why fight it? 01:07:56.076 --> 01:07:58.328 I got something for you, too. 01:07:58.871 --> 01:08:02.082 If not for you, none of this would have happened... 01:08:02.332 --> 01:08:04.585 ...so I wanted to show my appreciation. 01:08:08.589 --> 01:08:10.549 This looks nice. What is it? 01:08:10.841 --> 01:08:11.800 Open it. 01:08:12.092 --> 01:08:13.051 Shit. 01:08:13.760 --> 01:08:14.845 Oh, man. 01:08:15.137 --> 01:08:17.097 Remember the 'gator that got your hand? 01:08:17.431 --> 01:08:19.099 I got his head. 01:08:31.612 --> 01:08:34.323 First my dad and now Chubbs. 01:08:34.615 --> 01:08:38.076 Anyone I get close to, dies. If I were you, I'd run. 01:08:38.494 --> 01:08:40.871 You can't blame yourself for this. 01:08:41.288 --> 01:08:44.458 I guess that alligator finally finished the job. 01:08:44.958 --> 01:08:46.543 I'm going to miss you, pal. 01:08:55.302 --> 01:08:56.970 How am I going to play today? 01:08:57.262 --> 01:08:58.931 Just remember what he taught you. 01:08:59.223 --> 01:09:03.227 Congratulations, murderer. You killed a golf legend. 01:09:03.519 --> 01:09:04.561 Beat it, McGavin. 01:09:04.770 --> 01:09:09.233 I'm dedicating my performance at the Tour Championship to Chubbs' memory. 01:09:09.650 --> 01:09:11.652 I'm playing for Chubbs. 01:09:11.860 --> 01:09:13.403 I called it first. 01:09:13.946 --> 01:09:17.157 You want to beat him? Beat him on the course. 01:09:17.491 --> 01:09:20.202 Yeah, I'm gonna beat your ass out there. 01:09:20.410 --> 01:09:22.579 Right. And Grizzly Adams had a beard. 01:09:22.913 --> 01:09:24.665 Grizzly Adams did have a beard. 01:09:28.001 --> 01:09:29.795 The golfers of the Tour Championship... 01:09:30.212 --> 01:09:33.549 ...are ready to begin. There may be 63 professionals... 01:09:33.841 --> 01:09:35.342 ...vying for the title of world's best... 01:09:35.425 --> 01:09:38.846 but in the minds of the spectators, there are only two. 01:09:39.096 --> 01:09:41.056 Tour kingpin Shooter McGavin... 01:09:41.348 --> 01:09:44.685 ...and bad boy Happy Gilmore, just off suspension. 01:09:44.935 --> 01:09:47.938 Wouldn't you know it? They've been paired together. 01:09:48.147 --> 01:09:51.775 I have some good interior design ideas for Grandma's house. 01:09:52.109 --> 01:09:54.528 You know the bedroom next to the stairs? 01:09:54.820 --> 01:09:56.071 Yeah, that was my room. 01:09:56.363 --> 01:09:58.866 I'm turning it into my trophy room. 01:10:11.795 --> 01:10:13.463 It just may not be big enough. 01:10:14.840 --> 01:10:15.966 All right. 01:10:30.272 --> 01:10:34.151 You know what's pathetic? You've been playing golf all your life. 01:10:38.906 --> 01:10:41.325 Let me show you how we do it in the pros. 01:10:48.624 --> 01:10:50.000 That's got to hurt. 01:10:58.217 --> 01:11:01.845 Happy learned how to putt. Uh-oh. 01:11:03.847 --> 01:11:05.432 Here's a free lesson. 01:11:11.772 --> 01:11:13.774 Can't learn that on a hockey rink. 01:11:25.244 --> 01:11:27.704 Somebody's closer. 01:11:29.790 --> 01:11:32.626 After one day, Shooter McGavin is leading. 01:11:32.835 --> 01:11:36.046 But the big surprise is young Happy Gilmore... 01:11:36.713 --> 01:11:40.050 ...nipping at his heels, trailing by only one stroke. 01:11:41.718 --> 01:11:42.970 Shooter from the sand. 01:11:43.262 --> 01:11:45.889 Playing like he really wants that jacket. 01:11:51.895 --> 01:11:54.648 Happy Gilmore answers back with a birdie. 01:12:08.412 --> 01:12:11.206 Happy with a long eagle opportunity. 01:12:13.292 --> 01:12:14.543 It's good! 01:12:15.294 --> 01:12:17.254 And Shooter can't believe it! 01:12:17.588 --> 01:12:20.591 He is now tied with Happy Gilmore! 01:12:23.719 --> 01:12:26.763 Uh-oh. A little too much zip on that one. 01:12:28.307 --> 01:12:31.226 Hold it, hold it, hold it. 01:12:31.643 --> 01:12:32.895 No! 01:12:36.732 --> 01:12:40.694 I didn't see that. Did it go in? I wasn't watching. 01:12:41.111 --> 01:12:45.616 I wasn't watching. I saw it go up. Did it go back in? 01:12:46.116 --> 01:12:49.244 At the end of day three, Happy Gilmore has the lead. 01:12:49.578 --> 01:12:53.749 One has to be impressed with the vast improvement in his short game. 01:13:13.352 --> 01:13:14.895 Donald, it's Shooter. 01:13:15.312 --> 01:13:17.940 Shooter! It's great to hear from you! 01:13:18.232 --> 01:13:20.442 Want to go to Sizzler and get some grub? 01:13:20.984 --> 01:13:22.402 No, thanks. Not hungry. 01:13:22.611 --> 01:13:27.115 This call is about business. I need you here in the morning. 01:13:27.533 --> 01:13:29.743 It's the final day of the Tour Championship... 01:13:29.827 --> 01:13:31.995 ...and it promises to be a classic. 01:13:32.454 --> 01:13:34.540 Happy Gilmore leads the pack. 01:13:34.832 --> 01:13:39.002 Is this a changing of the guard? We'll know in 18 holes. 01:13:45.467 --> 01:13:48.262 Happy is really on today. 01:14:01.191 --> 01:14:02.234 There he is. 01:14:02.860 --> 01:14:04.111 That worm. 01:14:04.653 --> 01:14:06.321 Happy, look out! 01:14:12.452 --> 01:14:13.537 Are you okay? 01:14:13.704 --> 01:14:15.372 Volkswagen. 01:14:15.706 --> 01:14:17.291 Jackass! 01:14:33.223 --> 01:14:34.558 Jackass! 01:14:35.225 --> 01:14:39.188 You have no serious injuries. Just keep off your feet for a few days. 01:14:39.480 --> 01:14:41.273 Forget it. I have to finish. 01:14:41.565 --> 01:14:44.401 Do what you like. What do I know? I'm just a doctor. 01:14:44.568 --> 01:14:46.028 - Are you okay? - I'm fine. 01:14:46.361 --> 01:14:49.490 There is no shame in throwing in the towel. 01:14:49.698 --> 01:14:51.909 You must be careful with your health. 01:14:52.201 --> 01:14:54.077 Let's just play some golf. 01:14:54.912 --> 01:14:56.455 I knew Happy Gilmore was tough... 01:14:56.788 --> 01:15:00.417 ...but I can't believe he's playing after being hit by a car. 01:15:00.751 --> 01:15:03.045 Let's hope it doesn't affect his game. 01:15:07.007 --> 01:15:10.552 That's the first time he's failed to outdrive McGavin. 01:15:10.761 --> 01:15:14.431 Well, well, well. Happy Gilmore is human after all. 01:15:15.432 --> 01:15:19.728 Happy Gilmore is in trouble if he can't hit the long ball. 01:15:20.145 --> 01:15:21.396 If he has a chance... 01:15:21.688 --> 01:15:24.942 ...of winning today, he must do it on the green. 01:15:30.572 --> 01:15:35.285 He has to focus now. He has to save this one for par. 01:15:38.497 --> 01:15:41.208 That bogey drops him out of the lead. 01:15:41.625 --> 01:15:44.419 If he wants to stay in this thing... 01:15:44.753 --> 01:15:46.213 ...he has to calm down. 01:15:53.095 --> 01:15:56.932 Don't worry about your grandma. She can live with me... be my maid. 01:16:03.397 --> 01:16:05.399 Look at the cabbage he's in now. 01:16:05.607 --> 01:16:09.236 Things just keep getting worse for Happy Gilmore. 01:16:11.989 --> 01:16:14.491 Just remember what Chubbs said. 01:16:14.783 --> 01:16:16.743 "Go to a happy place." 01:16:17.202 --> 01:16:19.496 "Go to a happy place." 01:16:57.201 --> 01:16:58.452 God! 01:17:11.215 --> 01:17:13.800 This looks like the end for Happy Gilmore. 01:17:13.800 --> 01:17:16.178 Shooter now has a commanding lead. 01:17:35.906 --> 01:17:37.574 Happy, look who's here. 01:17:37.908 --> 01:17:39.243 Grandma. 01:17:40.077 --> 01:17:42.788 Happy, you look upset. What's wrong? 01:17:43.080 --> 01:17:45.833 I stink. I'm not going to win. 01:17:46.124 --> 01:17:50.712 Don't worry, sweetheart. The house isn't important. It's just a house. 01:17:51.046 --> 01:17:53.423 Stop fraternizing with the help, Gilmore. 01:17:53.715 --> 01:17:56.677 Just hit your ball, if you can find it. 01:17:57.302 --> 01:17:58.428 Hi, Grandma. 01:17:59.471 --> 01:18:03.934 Forget him. I just want you to be happy, darling. 01:18:06.562 --> 01:18:07.938 All right, Grandma. 01:18:14.486 --> 01:18:17.281 Grandma wants me to be happy. 01:18:38.677 --> 01:18:41.889 Chin up, Happy. Don't feel bad about me. 01:18:42.306 --> 01:18:44.099 I got my hand back, see? 01:18:46.477 --> 01:18:49.104 We've only just begun 01:18:51.315 --> 01:18:53.984 To live 01:18:55.777 --> 01:18:58.822 White lace and promises 01:19:00.991 --> 01:19:04.953 A kiss for luck and we're on our way 01:19:14.546 --> 01:19:19.134 It ain't over yet, McGavin. The way I see it, we've only just begun. 01:19:46.870 --> 01:19:49.998 Happy, the gold jacket's yours. Shooter will choke. 01:19:55.420 --> 01:19:56.463 Unbelievable! 01:20:08.767 --> 01:20:12.855 Damn you people! This is golf, not a rock concert! 01:20:19.695 --> 01:20:20.863 Putz! 01:20:40.257 --> 01:20:41.592 Happy... 01:20:42.134 --> 01:20:43.677 ...rules! 01:20:57.441 --> 01:21:00.068 Happy Gilmore has charged in the back nine... 01:21:00.194 --> 01:21:02.446 ...and is now even with Shooter McGavin. 01:21:02.779 --> 01:21:06.116 If Shooter doesn't get out of the funk he's in... 01:21:06.450 --> 01:21:08.702 ...he may miss out on the gold jacket. 01:21:09.161 --> 01:21:13.415 Ladies and gentlemen, the 18th hole is a par three, 160 yards. 01:21:13.624 --> 01:21:16.460 In the event of a tie, there will be a play-off. 01:21:16.752 --> 01:21:19.254 Mr. Gilmore, you have the honors. 01:21:20.506 --> 01:21:22.800 No matter what, I'm having fun. 01:21:23.133 --> 01:21:25.385 You're starting to sound like a golfer. 01:21:25.719 --> 01:21:27.596 I know. Keep it down. 01:21:47.616 --> 01:21:51.245 Nice shot! Fifteen feet short of the hole. 01:22:03.173 --> 01:22:05.134 Shooter's ball is in the woods. 01:22:05.467 --> 01:22:09.179 Happy's on the 18th green, where a car driven by a crazed fan... 01:22:09.513 --> 01:22:11.098 ...rammed the TV tower. 01:22:14.017 --> 01:22:16.478 Let me through... I'm looking for my ball. 01:22:16.687 --> 01:22:20.649 This is golf, okay? Excuse me. Thank you. 01:22:26.530 --> 01:22:27.656 Is this your ball? 01:22:28.490 --> 01:22:30.159 Yes, it is. 01:22:30.367 --> 01:22:32.119 It struck my foot. 01:22:32.578 --> 01:22:33.787 Doug! 01:22:35.164 --> 01:22:36.748 Do I get a drop? 01:22:37.875 --> 01:22:40.043 The rule says, "Play it as it lies." 01:23:03.734 --> 01:23:05.402 That's two so far, Shooter. 01:23:05.736 --> 01:23:07.905 You can count. Good for you. 01:23:08.238 --> 01:23:12.409 And you can count on me waiting for you in the parking lot. 01:23:26.256 --> 01:23:27.591 You're still away. 01:23:27.925 --> 01:23:29.927 I'm aware of that. Thank you. 01:23:31.053 --> 01:23:32.012 I can't see. 01:23:32.304 --> 01:23:33.347 Hey, up here. 01:23:46.902 --> 01:23:49.404 Shooter needs this to put pressure on Happy. 01:23:49.738 --> 01:23:52.199 If he misses, Happy can two-putt to victory. 01:24:03.168 --> 01:24:04.920 Choke on that, baby! 01:24:14.847 --> 01:24:15.973 Shooter. 01:24:24.857 --> 01:24:28.819 If Gilmore sinks this, it will cap an amazing comeback. 01:24:46.545 --> 01:24:49.339 Great. Now I have a tower blocking my ball. 01:24:49.673 --> 01:24:53.093 We'll get it moved and you'll finish tomorrow. Right, Doug? 01:24:53.343 --> 01:24:56.972 No, he has to hit it now. "Play it as it lies." 01:24:57.389 --> 01:25:01.852 I hit it off Frankenstein's fat foot. Those are the rules. 01:25:02.186 --> 01:25:05.022 He's right. Take your shot, Mr. Gilmore. 01:25:06.148 --> 01:25:10.027 Virginia, just so you know, my jacket size is 44 long. 01:25:10.319 --> 01:25:13.655 And my right arm is a bit longer than my left. 01:25:14.198 --> 01:25:18.660 Hit it around the tower, sink your putt and we'll go to sudden death. 01:25:26.043 --> 01:25:28.045 Nah, I'll just beat him now. 01:25:29.713 --> 01:25:30.631 Good luck. 01:25:36.094 --> 01:25:38.555 Chubbs, I know you'll help me here. 01:26:14.133 --> 01:26:16.218 Oh, my God. 01:26:17.052 --> 01:26:20.931 Incredible! Happy Gilmore wins the gold jacket. 01:26:24.143 --> 01:26:26.436 I love you. I love you. 01:26:26.728 --> 01:26:28.438 And I love you. 01:26:29.148 --> 01:26:31.441 Doug! It's impossible! 01:26:31.775 --> 01:26:34.570 That's my jacket! It's mine! 01:26:35.404 --> 01:26:37.281 He stole my jacket! 01:26:37.906 --> 01:26:40.117 I believe that's Mr. Gilmore's. 01:27:02.097 --> 01:27:04.475 I will get you, Shooter! 01:27:05.976 --> 01:27:07.644 Stop! Stop! 01:27:08.770 --> 01:27:10.314 Be still! 01:27:10.647 --> 01:27:11.815 Don't!!! 01:27:24.828 --> 01:27:26.163 - Coming? - You bet. 01:27:26.497 --> 01:27:27.831 All right. 01:27:41.303 --> 01:27:44.014 Here's to Chubbs, wherever he is. 01:27:47.559 --> 01:27:49.019 Hey, Happy. 01:27:51.730 --> 01:27:53.190 Nice jacket. 01:27:56.026 --> 01:27:58.195 Who are you waving at, Happy? 01:27:59.863 --> 01:28:02.574 Nobody, Grandma. Let's go home. 01:28:02.598 --> 01:28:22.598 Telegram Channel and Instagram Page .:: @bollbolljan_com ::.