WEBVTT 00:00:00.153 --> 00:00:20.153 ..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::.. ‏.:: www.bolboljan.net ::. 00:00:49.177 --> 00:00:53.013 I've been searching for a long time 00:00:53.181 --> 00:00:57.936 To find someone to be mine 00:00:58.103 --> 00:01:03.273 I never thought you'd come along 00:01:03.441 --> 00:01:06.944 Now that you're here, all my worries are gone 00:01:07.112 --> 00:01:08.946 Oh 00:01:09.114 --> 00:01:13.741 Sweet you 00:01:13.909 --> 00:01:18.121 All of my dreams have all come true 00:01:18.288 --> 00:01:27.921 You're just the one I've been looking for 00:01:28.089 --> 00:01:32.467 I didn't know how long it would take 00:01:32.635 --> 00:01:37.096 But good things come to those who wait 00:01:37.264 --> 00:01:41.976 Now I can't ask for anything more 00:01:42.144 --> 00:01:47.314 You're everything I've been looking for 00:01:47.482 --> 00:01:51.985 Sweet you 00:01:52.153 --> 00:01:56.698 Nobody, nobody, nobody will ever do 00:01:56.866 --> 00:02:06.081 You're just the one I've been looking for 00:02:06.249 --> 00:02:08.667 Nights were dark 00:02:08.835 --> 00:02:11.170 Days got longer 00:02:11.337 --> 00:02:15.298 My mind was weak, but my heart stayed strong 00:02:15.465 --> 00:02:19.802 Then you came along and rescued me 00:02:19.970 --> 00:02:24.558 Please, don't ever set me free 00:02:24.726 --> 00:02:27.643 Oh, no 00:02:32.357 --> 00:02:35.026 Oh 00:02:35.194 --> 00:02:39.780 Sweet you 00:02:39.948 --> 00:02:44.535 Nobody, nobody, nobody will ever do 00:02:44.703 --> 00:02:54.211 You're just the one I've been looking for 00:02:54.378 --> 00:02:56.630 Nights were dark 00:02:56.797 --> 00:02:59.132 Days got longer 00:02:59.300 --> 00:03:03.637 My mind was weak, but my heart stayed strong 00:03:03.804 --> 00:03:07.890 Then you came along and rescued me 00:03:08.058 --> 00:03:12.603 Please, don't ever set me free 00:03:12.771 --> 00:03:15.814 Oh, no 00:03:20.236 --> 00:03:23.112 Oh 00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:24.322 Sweet you... 00:03:24.490 --> 00:03:26.824 Synedyne Technical Support. This is Suzanne. How can I help you? 00:03:26.992 --> 00:03:29.953 Synedyne Technical Support. This is Rachel. How can I help you? 00:03:30.120 --> 00:03:33.163 This is Elliot. How can I help you? 00:03:33.331 --> 00:03:35.916 Oh, wow. 00:03:36.084 --> 00:03:38.877 Yeah, okay. Give me a second to find you here. 00:03:39.045 --> 00:03:41.171 My computer's running a little slow today. 00:03:41.339 --> 00:03:43.632 Wake up, fella. There you are. 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:46.008 Hey, you got yourself a model 5732. 00:03:46.176 --> 00:03:48.594 128 megs of RAM, 27 gig hard drive. 00:03:48.762 --> 00:03:52.181 Good. Good. And you say that it hangs every time you print? 00:03:52.349 --> 00:03:54.725 Wow! All right, no problem. 00:03:54.893 --> 00:03:57.435 Can you hold for two seconds? 00:03:57.603 --> 00:03:59.312 Carol! Carol. 00:04:01.148 --> 00:04:02.691 I don't know what you've been told, little lady, 00:04:02.858 --> 00:04:05.110 but the rest of us start at nine. 00:04:07.613 --> 00:04:09.197 Kidding, I'm just kidding. Good morning. 00:04:09.365 --> 00:04:11.991 Hey, Dan, my man! What's up, my bro? 00:04:12.158 --> 00:04:15.244 Yeah, put it there! All right. Yeah. 00:04:15.412 --> 00:04:18.497 So hoops today? You and the guys up for some hoopage after work? 00:04:18.665 --> 00:04:21.083 Uh, you know, we don't know yet, Elliot. 00:04:21.251 --> 00:04:23.793 - I'm not sure yet, okay? - That's cool. Just let me know. 00:04:23.961 --> 00:04:26.296 'Cause I'm there, bud. That's right, 'cause I love the round ball. 00:04:26.463 --> 00:04:29.091 That's why they call me "Air Elliot." 00:04:30.802 --> 00:04:32.803 - Yeah! - Okay. 00:04:32.971 --> 00:04:35.264 Make sure that you let me know the right time 00:04:35.432 --> 00:04:36.806 because last week you said 6:30 00:04:36.974 --> 00:04:38.641 and when I got there, you guys were just leaving. 00:04:38.809 --> 00:04:41.102 I mean, how stupid did you feel? 00:04:41.270 --> 00:04:43.313 Pretty stupid, Elliot. 00:04:43.480 --> 00:04:45.648 Not a problem, Danny. Give it up. 00:04:45.816 --> 00:04:47.984 - Hey, Daniel. - Hey, man, how you doing? 00:04:48.152 --> 00:04:49.735 Good, good. How you doing, man? 00:04:52.822 --> 00:04:54.823 Hey, Bob! 00:04:54.991 --> 00:04:56.992 - What's up? - Hey, Elliot. 00:04:57.160 --> 00:05:00.037 You and your posse gonna hit the brewery tonight? 00:05:00.204 --> 00:05:02.288 My "posse"? No. 00:05:02.456 --> 00:05:05.708 Uh, they're all busy with the big... 00:05:05.876 --> 00:05:07.835 - What's with your neck? - Oh, nothing. 00:05:08.003 --> 00:05:11.672 It's a repetitive stress disorder. It's a headset injury. 00:05:11.840 --> 00:05:14.090 So what do you say you and me go and knock back some suds 00:05:14.258 --> 00:05:15.508 and check out the babes? 00:05:15.676 --> 00:05:18.094 Elliot, I'm married, remember? 00:05:18.262 --> 00:05:20.680 I'm gonna go home, spend some time with my wife. 00:05:20.848 --> 00:05:22.015 Oh. 00:05:22.183 --> 00:05:25.435 Taking a trip to Whipville. 00:05:28.188 --> 00:05:30.731 It just gets funnier every time you do that. 00:05:33.360 --> 00:05:34.568 Don't, don't, don't... 00:05:34.736 --> 00:05:36.028 Hey, Jerry! 00:05:36.196 --> 00:05:39.281 Jerry, Jerry, bo-berry, fee-fi-fo-ferry, Jerry! 00:05:39.448 --> 00:05:40.865 Hey, what's happening, brother? 00:05:41.033 --> 00:05:42.867 - Running to an important meeting. - Oh, yeah. 00:05:43.035 --> 00:05:44.035 - Yeah. - Hey, wait. 00:05:44.203 --> 00:05:45.787 No, I think you're gonna appreciate this, 00:05:45.954 --> 00:05:47.705 because we're both a couple of stereo component nuts. 00:05:47.873 --> 00:05:49.749 Check these out, holmes. These are the new Ingebritzens. 00:05:49.917 --> 00:05:51.125 - Right. - XVC speakers. 00:05:51.293 --> 00:05:53.293 Here, look it. That's the back of the left speaker 00:05:53.461 --> 00:05:55.170 and the front of the right speaker. 00:05:55.338 --> 00:05:56.671 Sweet, sweet, sweet. 00:05:56.839 --> 00:05:58.965 That's the front of the left... no, that's the right... 00:06:06.390 --> 00:06:07.890 I think... oh, man! 00:06:08.058 --> 00:06:09.892 - What? - It's Elliot. 00:06:10.060 --> 00:06:11.310 Who told him we were here? 00:06:11.478 --> 00:06:14.021 - Oh, shit. - Did you tell him we were here? 00:06:19.069 --> 00:06:20.569 Hi! 00:06:22.155 --> 00:06:24.198 You guys! 00:06:24.366 --> 00:06:25.908 I told you not to... 00:06:26.076 --> 00:06:29.286 Well, well, well, isn't this a big surprise? 00:06:29.454 --> 00:06:31.079 I thought everybody was busy. 00:06:31.247 --> 00:06:32.956 A slight change of plans, Elliot. 00:06:33.124 --> 00:06:35.208 Oh, is that right? 00:06:35.376 --> 00:06:37.293 Well, I'm a little bit peeved at you guys. 00:06:37.461 --> 00:06:40.713 I'm thinking you tried to ditch me. I might not even sit down with you. 00:06:40.881 --> 00:06:43.174 We can certainly understand that, so we'll see you tomorrow. 00:06:43.342 --> 00:06:46.051 - Later, Elliot. - I'm kidding! 00:06:46.219 --> 00:06:47.845 - Switch places with me. - No, I'm fine. 00:06:57.604 --> 00:06:59.564 - What? - Oh, my goodness gracious. 00:06:59.731 --> 00:07:01.065 You've gotta be kidding! 00:07:01.233 --> 00:07:02.943 Please, please, don't tell me 00:07:03.111 --> 00:07:04.611 that you have a thing for Alison Gardner. 00:07:04.779 --> 00:07:05.904 - Oh, man! - Please. 00:07:06.072 --> 00:07:08.115 She's way out of your league. 00:07:08.283 --> 00:07:10.908 Isn't she dating that guy in research? 00:07:11.076 --> 00:07:12.326 Brian, with the teeth. 00:07:12.494 --> 00:07:14.287 Brian? The guy with the teeth. 00:07:14.455 --> 00:07:16.789 No, that's been over for three months now. 00:07:16.957 --> 00:07:21.335 - Oh, yeah? How do you know that? - I know a lot of things about her. 00:07:21.503 --> 00:07:24.045 I know that she likes her bagels buttered, but not toasted. 00:07:24.213 --> 00:07:26.006 - Wow. - How specific. 00:07:26.174 --> 00:07:28.758 I know that she looks beautiful in any color, 00:07:28.926 --> 00:07:31.803 but when she wears blue... 00:07:31.971 --> 00:07:35.473 Sounds like you guys are old friends? 00:07:35.640 --> 00:07:36.932 Well, we have been working together 00:07:37.100 --> 00:07:39.310 at the same company for four years. 00:07:39.478 --> 00:07:41.645 You spend time together, people get to know each other. 00:07:41.813 --> 00:07:43.647 It's true, so it should be no problem 00:07:43.815 --> 00:07:45.941 for you to just get up, walk over there, and say hello. 00:07:46.109 --> 00:07:48.276 She's with somebody. I'll catch up with her tomorrow. 00:07:48.444 --> 00:07:50.570 - Come on! - Hold on, Elliot. 00:07:50.738 --> 00:07:51.946 Come clean here. 00:07:52.114 --> 00:07:55.200 You have never spoken to Alison Gardner, right? 00:07:55.367 --> 00:07:56.493 Of course I have. 00:07:56.660 --> 00:08:01.288 - Did I say "queer" earlier? - You are pathetic, Elliot! Really. 00:08:01.456 --> 00:08:04.209 Okay, I guess you guys are just not gonna let me relax tonight 00:08:04.376 --> 00:08:05.668 until I go over there and say hello. 00:08:05.836 --> 00:08:06.920 - I guess not. - Yeah. 00:08:07.087 --> 00:08:10.507 Well, if that'll make you happy. You think I'm pathetic. 00:08:12.801 --> 00:08:14.968 - Don't touch me. - Go for it, tiger. 00:08:15.136 --> 00:08:16.178 Good luck. 00:08:25.021 --> 00:08:27.563 - Hi. - Hi. 00:08:27.731 --> 00:08:28.814 Do I know you? 00:08:28.982 --> 00:08:31.234 Oh, I should hope so. 00:08:31.401 --> 00:08:34.695 We've only been working together at Synedyne for the last four years. 00:08:34.863 --> 00:08:37.698 I'm Elliot Richards. 00:08:37.866 --> 00:08:39.032 We've spoken. 00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:41.660 I'm sorry, I don't... 00:08:41.827 --> 00:08:44.704 It was the first week of June, three years ago. 00:08:44.872 --> 00:08:47.290 I said it was wet out. 00:08:47.458 --> 00:08:50.710 We were standing in the lobby, and I said it was really wet out. 00:08:50.878 --> 00:08:53.045 It was raining at the time. 00:08:53.213 --> 00:08:54.713 I assume that. 00:08:56.258 --> 00:08:57.258 Yeah. 00:09:01.054 --> 00:09:04.222 So here we are, talking again. 00:09:04.390 --> 00:09:05.640 Yeah. 00:09:08.519 --> 00:09:09.769 Well, take it easy. 00:09:16.026 --> 00:09:19.194 I'm here with friends and I was wondering if you wanted... 00:09:34.126 --> 00:09:38.212 Dear God, I would give anything to have that girl in my life. 00:10:20.754 --> 00:10:23.713 - Hi. - Hello. 00:10:23.881 --> 00:10:25.298 I was wondering... 00:10:25.466 --> 00:10:27.175 if this is... 00:10:28.802 --> 00:10:31.971 I was standing over there and... 00:10:32.139 --> 00:10:36.224 You're very glib. I bet you're a whiz with the ladies. 00:10:36.392 --> 00:10:38.477 - Well... - You here alone? 00:10:38.645 --> 00:10:40.020 No! 00:10:40.188 --> 00:10:42.356 I'm here with some buddies from work. 00:10:42.523 --> 00:10:45.567 I saw you talking to a woman. 00:10:45.735 --> 00:10:48.819 Yeah, but I'm not with her. 00:10:48.987 --> 00:10:51.489 But you'd like to be, huh? 00:10:51.657 --> 00:10:53.407 What makes you say that? 00:10:53.575 --> 00:10:54.825 I don't know. 00:10:54.993 --> 00:10:56.661 When a man says he'd give anything 00:10:56.828 --> 00:10:58.329 to have a certain woman in his life, 00:10:58.497 --> 00:11:00.288 I just assume she means something to him. 00:11:00.456 --> 00:11:02.123 How did you hear me say that? 00:11:02.291 --> 00:11:05.001 - I was standing way over... - I have fantastic hearing. 00:11:05.169 --> 00:11:08.254 And a number of other equally impressive talents. 00:11:14.928 --> 00:11:16.512 Ho-doggie! 00:11:18.056 --> 00:11:21.058 Let's go someplace quiet so we can talk. 00:11:24.562 --> 00:11:27.146 Okay... what? You want to talk to me? 00:11:27.314 --> 00:11:28.940 Is there a problem? 00:11:29.108 --> 00:11:31.359 Are you not attracted to me? 00:11:31.527 --> 00:11:32.694 No. 00:11:34.029 --> 00:11:36.365 I think you're hot. 00:11:36.533 --> 00:11:39.075 Baby, you have no idea. 00:11:45.208 --> 00:11:48.502 - Kiss me. - What? Here? 00:11:48.670 --> 00:11:52.380 Don't be afraid to explore new horizons. 00:11:52.548 --> 00:11:53.548 Oh. 00:12:01.473 --> 00:12:03.473 Can you give us two seconds, girls? 00:12:03.641 --> 00:12:06.143 Yeah, can you give us two seconds? 00:12:06.310 --> 00:12:07.561 Sure. 00:12:07.729 --> 00:12:08.895 Whatever. 00:12:12.191 --> 00:12:13.400 Listen... 00:12:15.695 --> 00:12:17.403 you seem really nice, 00:12:17.571 --> 00:12:19.613 in a strong, 00:12:19.781 --> 00:12:21.532 scary kind of a way, 00:12:21.700 --> 00:12:23.909 but my friends are probably waiting for me, 00:12:24.077 --> 00:12:26.912 so I'm gonna just get going. 00:12:27.080 --> 00:12:29.456 You're so nervous, Elliot. 00:12:29.623 --> 00:12:31.249 How do you know my name? 00:12:31.417 --> 00:12:32.959 I'm psychic. 00:12:33.127 --> 00:12:34.627 Plus, it's on your name tag. 00:12:36.005 --> 00:12:37.714 Duh. 00:12:37.882 --> 00:12:41.050 Now then, I just want to talk business for a second. 00:12:41.218 --> 00:12:45.262 Oh, I'm not into that. 00:12:45.430 --> 00:12:48.098 I mean, I've never paid for sex before. 00:12:48.266 --> 00:12:50.851 Except this one time... there was an Internet thing. 00:12:51.019 --> 00:12:53.771 I mean, you can't help it. Every time you sign on, it's "sex, sex, sex." 00:12:53.938 --> 00:12:56.564 I'm not a hooker, you silly boy. I just want to ask you a question. 00:12:56.732 --> 00:12:59.984 How would you like to make one simple decision 00:13:00.152 --> 00:13:02.528 that'll change your life forever? 00:13:04.198 --> 00:13:06.741 Okay, I'm glad Scientology works for you, but... 00:13:06.909 --> 00:13:08.617 Just listen. 00:13:08.785 --> 00:13:11.787 What if I told you that I have the cataclysmic power 00:13:11.954 --> 00:13:15.707 to give you anything and everything you've always dreamed of? 00:13:17.126 --> 00:13:18.460 Who are you? 00:13:18.628 --> 00:13:21.295 Promise not to tell anyone? 00:13:21.463 --> 00:13:22.506 Okay. 00:13:22.673 --> 00:13:25.509 Cross your heart and hope to die? 00:13:26.928 --> 00:13:27.969 Yeah. 00:13:30.306 --> 00:13:32.557 I'm the devil. 00:13:36.269 --> 00:13:38.145 Okay. 00:13:38.313 --> 00:13:41.565 I think somebody's had "tee many martoonis"! 00:13:41.733 --> 00:13:44.735 I am the devil. Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub. 00:13:44.903 --> 00:13:45.944 The Prince of Darkness. 00:13:46.111 --> 00:13:49.322 Well, the Princess of Darkness, anyway. 00:13:49.490 --> 00:13:50.657 Here's my card. 00:13:50.825 --> 00:13:52.075 Oh. 00:13:53.577 --> 00:13:55.161 "The devil." Yep. 00:13:55.329 --> 00:13:57.622 That explains it. 00:13:57.790 --> 00:13:59.164 Now I believe you. 00:14:00.834 --> 00:14:02.000 Night-night. 00:14:06.005 --> 00:14:08.173 You're a very skeptical person, you know that? 00:14:08.341 --> 00:14:09.508 How did... 00:14:09.676 --> 00:14:11.759 How did you just... and you... 00:14:13.053 --> 00:14:16.514 Look. If you could just buy into this "I'm the devil" thing, 00:14:16.682 --> 00:14:18.808 it'll save us both a lot of these questions. 00:14:18.976 --> 00:14:21.185 Maybe I should call you a cab. 00:14:21.353 --> 00:14:24.688 Although it's gonna be hard to find one that'll go to hell this time of night. 00:14:24.856 --> 00:14:27.482 Oh! What a delightfully piquant wit. 00:14:27.650 --> 00:14:30.610 I can see we're gonna get along famously. 00:14:30.778 --> 00:14:32.612 Cheers, darling. 00:14:34.365 --> 00:14:38.033 Are you... you can't... look at... jeez! 00:14:39.828 --> 00:14:42.997 You can't do that. That's very dangerous! 00:14:43.164 --> 00:14:45.875 Why is this so hard for you to believe? 00:14:46.042 --> 00:14:49.211 Do you think your mommy and daddy just made me up so you'd be good? 00:14:49.379 --> 00:14:52.714 Okay, okay. You're the devil. What do you want with me? 00:14:52.882 --> 00:14:56.134 I want you to be happy, Elliot. You have such potential. 00:14:56.302 --> 00:14:58.678 All you need is a little push in the right direction. 00:14:58.846 --> 00:15:00.179 I am happy! 00:15:00.347 --> 00:15:03.223 Oh, please! You don't have to lie to me. 00:15:03.391 --> 00:15:06.560 I know every dark thought in your tiny little mind. 00:15:06.728 --> 00:15:09.939 I know that every night you go home to your horrible little apartment 00:15:10.107 --> 00:15:13.401 and you eat your little frozen dinner, and you make your little bowl of popcorn 00:15:13.569 --> 00:15:17.404 and watch TV until you can't keep your eyes open anymore. 00:15:17.572 --> 00:15:19.781 And then you crawl off to bed 00:15:19.949 --> 00:15:23.577 and wonder why you're alone and nobody likes you. 00:15:25.246 --> 00:15:26.622 Not every night. 00:15:26.789 --> 00:15:28.581 And you cry. 00:15:32.044 --> 00:15:33.920 Yeah, sure. 00:15:35.255 --> 00:15:37.757 I know what's in your heart, Elliot. 00:15:37.925 --> 00:15:39.800 You could cry right now. 00:15:44.680 --> 00:15:48.767 I'm talking about reinvention, taking control of your destiny. 00:15:48.935 --> 00:15:50.852 You want to be liked? 00:15:51.020 --> 00:15:52.604 You want to be loved? 00:15:52.772 --> 00:15:54.688 How about respected? 00:15:54.856 --> 00:15:57.232 How about feared? 00:16:00.278 --> 00:16:02.738 What exactly are we talking about? 00:16:02.906 --> 00:16:05.199 You want to see how it works, baby? 00:16:05.367 --> 00:16:06.699 Wish for something. 00:16:06.867 --> 00:16:09.285 - Like what? - Whatever you want, it's yours. 00:16:09.453 --> 00:16:11.287 Just say the word. 00:16:11.455 --> 00:16:13.790 Okay, 00:16:13.958 --> 00:16:17.585 I wish I had a Big Mac and a large Coke. 00:16:17.753 --> 00:16:19.711 It is done. 00:16:25.636 --> 00:16:27.303 Hi, how you doing? What can I get you? 00:16:27.471 --> 00:16:29.305 A Big Mac and a large Coke. 00:16:29.473 --> 00:16:30.598 Fries? 00:16:30.766 --> 00:16:32.724 No. 00:16:32.892 --> 00:16:34.685 Comes to $3.47. 00:16:36.145 --> 00:16:38.647 Do you have $3.47? 00:16:38.815 --> 00:16:41.942 I left my purse in the underworld. 00:16:42.110 --> 00:16:46.487 Oh, yes! This truly is the work of the devil! 00:16:46.655 --> 00:16:49.657 And to think that I doubted you! I'm gonna go now. 00:16:49.825 --> 00:16:51.659 What's the problem? 00:16:51.827 --> 00:16:54.161 This doesn't prove anything! 00:16:54.329 --> 00:16:57.332 I could have done this myself. I even had to pay for it. 00:16:57.499 --> 00:17:01.085 No such thing as a free lunch. Didn't anyone ever tell you that? 00:17:01.253 --> 00:17:02.712 I didn't even get any fries. 00:17:02.879 --> 00:17:04.588 Oh, I don't believe this. 00:17:04.756 --> 00:17:06.674 I'm offering you the opportunity of a lifetime 00:17:06.842 --> 00:17:09.593 and all you can do is moan about French fries? 00:17:09.761 --> 00:17:11.803 - Good night. - Oh, fine! Okay. 00:17:11.971 --> 00:17:15.348 I'm obviously not getting through to you, so let's just forget it. 00:17:15.516 --> 00:17:18.268 Come on, I'll give you a lift back to your car. 00:17:20.980 --> 00:17:22.272 That's your car? 00:18:03.518 --> 00:18:05.978 - It's him! - It's Elliot! 00:18:10.525 --> 00:18:13.569 Elliot, right here. 00:18:13.737 --> 00:18:15.528 I love you, Elliot! 00:18:17.406 --> 00:18:18.656 Where are we? 00:18:18.824 --> 00:18:21.451 Just a little after-hours club I own. 00:18:21.619 --> 00:18:24.746 We'd better get in there. Everyone's waiting for you. 00:18:24.914 --> 00:18:26.081 Everyone who? 00:18:26.248 --> 00:18:27.706 All your friends. 00:18:27.874 --> 00:18:30.584 How you doing, Mr. Richards? 00:18:30.752 --> 00:18:32.711 Elliot, one picture! 00:18:53.690 --> 00:18:56.526 - Hey! Hey, Elliot! - No way! This is your club? 00:18:56.693 --> 00:18:57.693 It sure is. 00:18:57.861 --> 00:19:03.032 Wow. 00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:05.575 Yeah, baby! 00:19:05.743 --> 00:19:08.620 - Hello, Elliot. - Hello. 00:19:08.788 --> 00:19:11.039 - Elliot, dance with me. - No, dance with me. 00:19:11.207 --> 00:19:13.208 No, he's gonna dance with me first. 00:19:13.376 --> 00:19:16.128 Okay, girls, that's enough. Break it up. He belongs to me. 00:19:16.295 --> 00:19:19.130 How the hell are you? Somebody take a picture of us. 00:19:19.297 --> 00:19:21.715 - Hold it! - Excellent. 00:19:21.883 --> 00:19:23.801 Hi, Elliot. 00:19:28.348 --> 00:19:29.932 I think she likes you, too. 00:19:30.100 --> 00:19:32.517 - Are you hungry? - Uh-huh. Sort of. 00:19:32.685 --> 00:19:33.977 - Look. - Wow! 00:19:34.145 --> 00:19:36.521 These look just like the cookies my grandma used to make. 00:19:36.689 --> 00:19:38.273 - Try one. - Okay. 00:19:39.775 --> 00:19:41.651 These are the cookies that my grandma used to make! 00:19:41.819 --> 00:19:44.278 I aim to please, handsome. Come on. 00:19:44.445 --> 00:19:45.779 How did you... 00:19:48.158 --> 00:19:50.659 - You liked that, didn't you? - What, the cookie? 00:19:52.662 --> 00:19:54.496 Having all those people excited to see you. 00:19:54.664 --> 00:19:56.664 It's nice to feel accepted, isn't it? 00:19:56.832 --> 00:19:58.791 I can give you that. 00:19:58.959 --> 00:20:01.711 I can make the whole world love you. 00:20:01.879 --> 00:20:04.672 - Come on! - You still don't believe me, do you? 00:20:04.840 --> 00:20:06.632 Of course not! 00:20:06.800 --> 00:20:10.343 First of all, you look nothing like the devil. 00:20:10.511 --> 00:20:13.680 Oh, really? I suppose I could have gone this way. 00:20:16.309 --> 00:20:19.311 But it's so trick-or-treat. 00:20:19.478 --> 00:20:21.188 It's true! 00:20:21.355 --> 00:20:23.105 You really are the devil! 00:20:23.273 --> 00:20:25.191 Oh, come on, baby. 00:20:25.358 --> 00:20:26.775 Come and sit down. 00:20:26.943 --> 00:20:30.154 I know this has all been horribly overwhelming for you. 00:20:30.323 --> 00:20:32.908 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure, you can. 00:20:33.075 --> 00:20:34.701 You can ask me anything you'd like. 00:20:34.869 --> 00:20:36.243 As long as you don't ask me if there's a God. 00:20:36.411 --> 00:20:40.122 I get that one all the time. It drives me absolutely bonkers. 00:20:41.666 --> 00:20:43.584 Yes, there's a God. 00:20:43.752 --> 00:20:46.337 Really? Well, what's He like? 00:20:46.504 --> 00:20:49.756 You'd think meeting the devil would be interesting enough, 00:20:49.924 --> 00:20:52.383 but all they want to know about is Him! 00:20:52.551 --> 00:20:54.385 Like He's so bloody fascinating. 00:20:54.553 --> 00:20:56.179 - So He's a man? - Yeah. 00:20:56.347 --> 00:20:59.557 Most men think they're God. This one just happens to be right. 00:20:59.725 --> 00:21:03.477 Now listen, darling. I don't want to pressure you, 00:21:03.645 --> 00:21:06.521 but why don't we take a teensy little look at the contract? 00:21:09.777 --> 00:21:14.238 What the... it's pretty... 00:21:17.158 --> 00:21:21.578 "I, Elliot Richards, hereafter known as 'the Damned'... 00:21:21.746 --> 00:21:24.748 - "the Damned"? - How about "the Darned"? Better? 00:21:24.916 --> 00:21:27.333 Don't get hung up on the language, darling. 00:21:27.501 --> 00:21:31.379 There's nothing sinister here. It's all standard boilerplate. 00:21:31.546 --> 00:21:34.423 Paragraph one states that "I, the devil, 00:21:34.591 --> 00:21:38.302 a nonprofit corporation with offices in purgatory, hell, and L.A., 00:21:38.470 --> 00:21:41.304 will give you seven wishes to use as you see fit." 00:21:41.472 --> 00:21:44.724 Seven? Why not eight? 00:21:44.892 --> 00:21:48.436 Why not six? I don't know. Seven just sounds right. 00:21:48.604 --> 00:21:52.773 Paragraph two outlines the manner in which you'll pay for the wishes. 00:21:52.941 --> 00:21:55.234 What? Are you kidding?! I have to give you my soul? 00:21:55.402 --> 00:21:57.111 After you've had your wishes, of course. 00:21:57.279 --> 00:21:59.780 But it's my soul! 00:21:59.948 --> 00:22:01.865 I can't give you my soul! 00:22:02.033 --> 00:22:03.617 What are you? James Brown? 00:22:03.785 --> 00:22:06.119 What's the big deal? Have you ever seen your soul? 00:22:06.287 --> 00:22:09.956 - Do you even know what it is? - Of course, it's the thing that... 00:22:11.834 --> 00:22:13.626 No, that's... it floats around... 00:22:13.794 --> 00:22:16.087 Can I tell you something? 00:22:16.255 --> 00:22:20.049 Souls are overrated. They don't really do anything. 00:22:20.217 --> 00:22:22.343 Has yours done anything for you so far? 00:22:22.511 --> 00:22:25.013 No, it's like your appendix. 00:22:25.180 --> 00:22:26.472 You'll never even miss it. 00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:29.934 Well, if it's so useless, then why do you want it so much? 00:22:30.101 --> 00:22:32.311 Ooh, aren't you the clever one? 00:22:32.478 --> 00:22:36.231 Look, who's really making out in this deal here? 00:22:36.399 --> 00:22:39.359 Seven utterly fabulous wishes 00:22:39.527 --> 00:22:41.111 for one piddling little soul? 00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:43.070 Well, I don't know. 00:22:44.323 --> 00:22:45.614 What have we here? 00:22:49.828 --> 00:22:51.996 Wait. Who is... 00:22:52.164 --> 00:22:53.539 Alison? 00:22:54.958 --> 00:22:56.374 How did you... 00:22:57.793 --> 00:23:00.211 She is so beautiful. 00:23:01.630 --> 00:23:03.673 - I've waited for you for so long. - Who's that? 00:23:03.841 --> 00:23:05.717 - I've waited for you for so long. - Who's she with? 00:23:05.885 --> 00:23:09.303 - I want you now, my love. - Why are you showing me this? 00:23:11.222 --> 00:23:13.682 Oh, I love your hair like that. 00:23:13.850 --> 00:23:16.560 You must go through conditioner like crazy. 00:23:18.021 --> 00:23:19.521 Is this real? 00:23:19.689 --> 00:23:23.316 It could be. All you have to do is sign. 00:23:23.484 --> 00:23:25.318 And you promise I'll get her? 00:23:25.486 --> 00:23:27.570 That's really up to you. You're the one with the wishes. 00:23:27.738 --> 00:23:32.200 But I promise I'll do everything in my power. 00:23:32.368 --> 00:23:33.910 Sign it, Elliot. 00:23:43.378 --> 00:23:47.129 Please, Elliot. I'm waiting, Elliot. 00:24:12.988 --> 00:24:14.072 Great! 00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:17.450 Now before you start wishing, you'll be needing this. 00:24:17.618 --> 00:24:20.412 If for any reason your wish isn't going the way you hoped, 00:24:20.579 --> 00:24:23.581 just take out the pager, hit 666, 00:24:23.749 --> 00:24:26.208 and it'll bring you right back to me. 00:24:26.376 --> 00:24:29.670 Why wouldn't it go the way that I'd hoped? 00:24:29.838 --> 00:24:32.381 I was just throwing that out as a for instance. 00:24:32.549 --> 00:24:36.009 Every wish is gonna be 100 percent fabulous. 00:24:36.177 --> 00:24:39.804 But you'll find that out as soon as you make one. 00:24:39.972 --> 00:24:43.641 - So I should make one now? - Well, if you don't mind. 00:24:43.809 --> 00:24:45.435 I've got places to go, 00:24:45.602 --> 00:24:49.272 people to condemn to an eternity of fiery torment. 00:24:49.440 --> 00:24:51.898 Okay, let me think. 00:24:52.066 --> 00:24:56.570 - I... I want to be married to Alison. - You got it. 00:24:56.737 --> 00:24:58.447 That's not all. I want to be rich. 00:24:58.614 --> 00:25:00.198 Always a popular choice. 00:25:00.366 --> 00:25:01.575 That's not all. 00:25:01.742 --> 00:25:05.536 I want to be very rich and very powerful. 00:25:05.704 --> 00:25:09.415 Ooh, even better. Remember, you have to say, "I wish." 00:25:09.583 --> 00:25:11.292 Right. 00:25:11.460 --> 00:25:14.628 I wish that I were married to Alison 00:25:14.796 --> 00:25:17.338 and that I were very, very rich and very powerful. 00:25:17.506 --> 00:25:19.966 - How's that sound? - Sounds good to me. 00:25:20.134 --> 00:25:21.926 Enjoy. 00:28:33.815 --> 00:28:35.274 Roberto. 00:30:03.733 --> 00:30:07.527 "I am is to visiting in the Los Angeles 00:30:07.695 --> 00:30:10.821 for the time of vacations." 00:30:54.113 --> 00:30:56.031 "Idioto"! 00:35:03.513 --> 00:35:07.682 Alejandro? 00:35:07.850 --> 00:35:09.517 Roberto? Esteban? 00:36:01.650 --> 00:36:02.942 Mama! 00:36:33.264 --> 00:36:35.264 Seis, seis, seis! 00:36:43.273 --> 00:36:45.274 Back so soon? 00:36:50.571 --> 00:36:53.198 You turned me into a drug dealer! 00:36:53.366 --> 00:36:54.783 They almost killed me! 00:36:54.951 --> 00:36:56.660 You asked for rich and powerful. 00:36:56.828 --> 00:36:59.371 - Not like that. - Goes with the territory, babe. 00:36:59.539 --> 00:37:02.289 "Root of all evil." Ring any bells? 00:37:02.457 --> 00:37:05.084 But what about Alison? What got into her? 00:37:05.252 --> 00:37:07.128 I think it was Raoul. 00:37:07.295 --> 00:37:09.296 Yeah! That's not what I wished for. 00:37:09.464 --> 00:37:11.590 Well, hold on now, mister. 00:37:11.758 --> 00:37:13.800 You wished that the two of you were married. 00:37:13.968 --> 00:37:16.136 You didn't say anything about her loving you. 00:37:16.303 --> 00:37:19.139 You know, when two people get married, I assume that... 00:37:19.306 --> 00:37:21.141 There's your mistake. 00:37:21.308 --> 00:37:24.144 - May I suggest something? - What? 00:37:24.311 --> 00:37:26.478 The rich and powerful thing wasn't really the way to go. 00:37:26.646 --> 00:37:29.731 Everyone wishes for that first thing out of the gate and it never pans out. 00:37:29.899 --> 00:37:32.025 - Really? - The fact of the matter is 00:37:32.193 --> 00:37:35.362 women aren't really attracted to wealth and power. 00:37:35.530 --> 00:37:38.073 - They're not? - No, of course not. 00:37:38.241 --> 00:37:40.867 They couldn't give a fig for all that rubbish. 00:37:41.034 --> 00:37:43.995 What you need to figure out is what she does want in a man. 00:37:44.163 --> 00:37:45.997 How do I find that out? 00:37:46.165 --> 00:37:47.582 Easy. 00:37:56.716 --> 00:37:58.800 I'm not with her! 00:38:02.263 --> 00:38:03.513 Where are we? 00:38:03.681 --> 00:38:05.890 A place you never would have seen without my help. 00:38:06.057 --> 00:38:07.892 Welcome... Alison's bedroom. 00:38:09.186 --> 00:38:11.687 We can't be in here. This is breaking and entering. 00:38:11.855 --> 00:38:13.689 I know. It's fun, isn't it? 00:38:13.857 --> 00:38:16.983 I'm sure we're gonna find the answer somewhere around here. 00:38:18.402 --> 00:38:19.904 What if Alison catches us? 00:38:20.071 --> 00:38:22.364 Don't worry. She won't be able to see you. 00:38:22.532 --> 00:38:23.782 Besides, 00:38:23.950 --> 00:38:25.868 she's in the shower. 00:38:26.036 --> 00:38:27.036 Naked. 00:38:27.204 --> 00:38:28.204 Right behind that door. 00:38:28.371 --> 00:38:30.830 Go on, go ahead. Take a peep. 00:38:30.998 --> 00:38:32.081 No! 00:38:32.249 --> 00:38:34.375 Oh, come on. We both know you want to. 00:38:34.543 --> 00:38:36.961 You must think that I'm really perverted, don't you? 00:38:37.129 --> 00:38:38.129 That's what you think. 00:38:38.297 --> 00:38:40.590 You think I'm some sad, desperate, twisted, pathetic loser. 00:38:40.758 --> 00:38:41.758 Yes. 00:38:41.926 --> 00:38:44.134 Well, in that case, maybe I'll just take a quick look. 00:38:44.302 --> 00:38:45.552 Focus, Elliot. 00:38:45.720 --> 00:38:48.889 Remember, we're here to find out what kind of man she wants. 00:38:49.057 --> 00:38:50.182 How are we gonna do that? 00:38:50.350 --> 00:38:52.935 Well, she keeps a journal. 00:38:54.395 --> 00:38:55.603 And here it is! 00:38:55.771 --> 00:38:58.898 Right, I should be able to find some information in here that's useful. 00:38:59.066 --> 00:39:00.691 Hey, that's private stuff. 00:39:00.859 --> 00:39:02.568 Is it ever! Listen to this. 00:39:02.736 --> 00:39:05.905 "Last night was the most incredible night of my life. 00:39:06.073 --> 00:39:09.908 I never did find out any of the guys' names, but I brought them here 00:39:10.076 --> 00:39:12.953 and all five banged me like a Salvation Army drum." 00:39:13.120 --> 00:39:14.120 What? 00:39:14.288 --> 00:39:15.747 - Give me that! - Just kidding. 00:39:15.915 --> 00:39:17.123 I could have been a writer. 00:39:22.879 --> 00:39:25.714 Hey, it's okay. She could bump into you and she wouldn't feel it. 00:39:27.217 --> 00:39:29.009 Now this is good. 00:39:30.262 --> 00:39:33.347 "I meet many attractive men who are interested in me 00:39:33.514 --> 00:39:35.431 and, while many of them are handsome 00:39:35.599 --> 00:39:37.433 or clever or very successful, 00:39:37.601 --> 00:39:40.395 I find myself turning away from them 00:39:40.562 --> 00:39:44.691 and searching the horizon for someone else. 00:39:44.858 --> 00:39:47.317 I don't know who he is or where I'll find him. 00:39:47.485 --> 00:39:51.697 I only know that he is a sensitive man. 00:39:51.864 --> 00:39:54.951 He's a man who's in touch with his emotions. 00:39:55.119 --> 00:39:58.413 He's a man who's not afraid to share his fears, 00:39:58.580 --> 00:40:01.123 his disappointments, and his tears. 00:40:01.291 --> 00:40:03.667 'Where are you, my sensitive man?"' 00:40:14.512 --> 00:40:16.346 Did you see that? 00:40:16.514 --> 00:40:18.307 She passed right through me. 00:40:18.474 --> 00:40:20.600 We were one person for a split second. 00:40:20.768 --> 00:40:22.477 Just like in "Ghost"! 00:40:22.645 --> 00:40:24.812 Darling, I've got an earthquake in eight minutes. 00:40:24.980 --> 00:40:26.605 Any chance of making a wish here? 00:40:26.773 --> 00:40:28.357 Yes. 00:40:28.525 --> 00:40:32.528 I wish I were the most sensitive man in the world. 00:40:32.696 --> 00:40:34.613 Right. Okay. 00:40:34.781 --> 00:40:35.781 Wait! 00:40:35.949 --> 00:40:39.784 I wish I were the most emotionally sensitive man in the world. 00:40:39.952 --> 00:40:41.995 Damn, I was hoping you wouldn't catch that. 00:40:42.163 --> 00:40:44.164 I could have had a lot of fun. 00:40:44.332 --> 00:40:45.874 And I want her to love me. 00:40:46.042 --> 00:40:47.792 Oh... you know what? 00:40:47.960 --> 00:40:50.169 I have a great feeling about this. 00:40:50.337 --> 00:40:52.338 - You do? - Yeah, but... 00:40:52.505 --> 00:40:53.672 what do I know? 00:41:05.351 --> 00:41:07.769 - Hey. - I'm back, my love. 00:41:07.936 --> 00:41:09.145 Where did you run off to? 00:41:09.313 --> 00:41:11.022 I went to make a garland of beach plums 00:41:11.190 --> 00:41:14.484 to place atop your glorious head like a crown. 00:41:15.860 --> 00:41:18.570 But then I caught sight of that sunset and... 00:41:18.738 --> 00:41:20.238 I don't know. 00:41:20.406 --> 00:41:23.533 Something stirred inside me and I had to stop 00:41:23.701 --> 00:41:25.327 and weep. 00:41:27.038 --> 00:41:28.537 It's beautiful. 00:41:28.705 --> 00:41:30.164 Yeah, it is. 00:41:33.377 --> 00:41:34.418 There I go again. 00:41:34.586 --> 00:41:36.837 - Tissue? - No. 00:41:37.005 --> 00:41:40.216 I never wipe my tears away. I'm not ashamed of them. 00:41:40.384 --> 00:41:42.050 I wear them proudly. 00:41:42.218 --> 00:41:45.762 Like small, wet, salty badges of emotional truth. 00:41:45.930 --> 00:41:49.974 Elliot, there's something that I think we should talk about. 00:41:51.435 --> 00:41:55.063 We've been together for, what, about three weeks now? 00:41:55.231 --> 00:41:56.272 Three magical weeks. 00:41:56.440 --> 00:41:58.775 Three magical weeks. 00:41:58.943 --> 00:42:01.319 I don't think that I've ever met 00:42:01.487 --> 00:42:02.904 a man who's been more in touch 00:42:03.072 --> 00:42:04.948 - with his feelings. - I love you. 00:42:05.116 --> 00:42:06.908 So very much. 00:42:07.075 --> 00:42:09.243 I love you, too. 00:42:13.623 --> 00:42:15.916 Dudley! Peter! 00:42:17.419 --> 00:42:18.961 I'm sorry, they're such little devils. 00:42:19.129 --> 00:42:21.295 Come on, you naughty boys. See you. 00:42:23.924 --> 00:42:27.009 I'm sorry. Are you okay? 00:42:27.177 --> 00:42:29.887 Do you need comforting on any level? 00:42:30.055 --> 00:42:31.431 No, no, I'm fine. 00:42:31.598 --> 00:42:33.432 Have I done or said anything 00:42:33.599 --> 00:42:36.101 to make you feel less good about you? 00:42:36.269 --> 00:42:37.769 No, no, I'm fine. 00:42:37.937 --> 00:42:39.438 Would you like something to eat? 00:42:39.605 --> 00:42:41.440 I made a Salade Nicoise 00:42:41.607 --> 00:42:43.942 with dolphin-safe tuna. 00:42:44.110 --> 00:42:46.277 Oh, wow. 00:42:52.117 --> 00:42:54.243 What is it? 00:42:54.411 --> 00:42:55.828 It's that sunset again. 00:42:55.996 --> 00:42:58.580 And I worry about the dolphins. 00:42:58.747 --> 00:43:00.957 I wrote a song about them. Would you like to hear it? 00:43:01.125 --> 00:43:02.959 Now? I... 00:43:12.677 --> 00:43:15.012 Swimming by the sandy shore 00:43:15.180 --> 00:43:18.265 Dancing up among the waves 00:43:18.433 --> 00:43:20.726 Dolphin, dolphin, I adore 00:43:20.894 --> 00:43:23.395 Everything you are 00:43:23.563 --> 00:43:26.314 You're so much more than a fish to me 00:43:26.482 --> 00:43:29.358 My playful friend beneath the sea. 00:43:32.738 --> 00:43:35.698 - I have to stop. - Good. I mean, oh, why? 00:43:35.866 --> 00:43:37.407 Because I'm looking at you 00:43:37.575 --> 00:43:39.701 and I'm seeing all the beauty of the world 00:43:39.869 --> 00:43:41.662 shining at me through your eyes. 00:43:41.830 --> 00:43:43.331 Would you mind if I sketched you? 00:43:43.499 --> 00:43:45.625 I didn't know you could draw. 00:43:45.792 --> 00:43:47.835 I'm not an artist per se. 00:43:48.003 --> 00:43:51.004 Okay, Elliot, there's something that I think I really have to say. 00:43:53.466 --> 00:43:56.009 Elliot, that's amazing! 00:43:57.512 --> 00:43:59.346 Compared to you, it's nothing. 00:43:59.514 --> 00:44:01.848 Compared to your smile 00:44:02.016 --> 00:44:03.349 and the blush of your cheek 00:44:03.517 --> 00:44:06.644 and the sound of your voice as it floats on the evening breeze. 00:44:06.811 --> 00:44:09.939 Compared to you, that sunset's just... 00:44:13.818 --> 00:44:15.693 when is that darn thing gonna set? 00:44:15.861 --> 00:44:17.695 - Maybe we should go. - No, wait! 00:44:17.863 --> 00:44:20.156 There's so much that I want to say to you, 00:44:20.324 --> 00:44:22.367 but I just can't find the words. 00:44:22.535 --> 00:44:24.410 I have an idea. 00:44:24.578 --> 00:44:28.330 I would like to improvise a sonnet about your hair. 00:44:30.041 --> 00:44:33.377 How wonderful my fair one's face... 00:44:38.384 --> 00:44:39.467 Excuse me, fellas. 00:44:39.635 --> 00:44:42.052 Might I ask you to take the horseplay 00:44:42.220 --> 00:44:43.887 down to another part of the beach? 00:44:44.055 --> 00:44:45.806 Eh... no. 00:44:52.188 --> 00:44:55.231 You know, rather than get confrontational, 00:44:55.399 --> 00:44:57.567 why don't we all just sit down together, 00:44:57.734 --> 00:44:59.610 have some salad with dolphin-safe tuna 00:44:59.778 --> 00:45:02.321 and see if we can't start a dialogue. 00:45:04.199 --> 00:45:06.199 You know, I had a feeling that you were gonna... 00:45:07.618 --> 00:45:08.827 Okay, guys. 00:45:08.995 --> 00:45:11.246 I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you 00:45:11.414 --> 00:45:13.915 to respect the moment that my woman friend 00:45:14.083 --> 00:45:16.918 and I are sharing, because it's a special celebration 00:45:17.086 --> 00:45:18.919 of love and caring 00:45:19.087 --> 00:45:22.590 and a unique spiritual and emotional understanding. 00:45:24.509 --> 00:45:25.801 Do you want to get a beer? 00:45:25.969 --> 00:45:27.512 Sure. 00:45:27.680 --> 00:45:30.765 Alison, excuse me, but I thought that this was our time together. 00:45:30.933 --> 00:45:32.641 It's just a beer. I'll be back in two seconds. 00:45:32.809 --> 00:45:34.935 Actually, my place is, like, 40 minutes from here. 00:45:35.103 --> 00:45:36.478 That's fine. Which way's your car? 00:45:36.646 --> 00:45:38.939 - It's a van. - Great. 00:45:39.107 --> 00:45:42.484 Alison! I respect your uniqueness and your individuality 00:45:42.652 --> 00:45:44.320 and you're your own person. 00:45:44.486 --> 00:45:46.487 If you want to go with our new friends here 00:45:46.655 --> 00:45:48.615 to get a drink, I won't stand in your way. 00:45:48.782 --> 00:45:50.950 Thanks, Elliot. I knew you'd understand. 00:45:51.118 --> 00:45:52.619 No, wait! Don't go! Don't go! 00:45:52.786 --> 00:45:55.538 I can't handle this kind of rejection. Why don't you want to stay? 00:45:55.706 --> 00:45:57.331 You want to know why, Elliot? 00:45:57.498 --> 00:45:59.750 Because you're just too sensitive! 00:45:59.917 --> 00:46:01.251 I'm about to go out of my mind! 00:46:01.419 --> 00:46:04.463 It's been wonderful, and God knows I love you, 00:46:04.631 --> 00:46:06.590 but enough is enough! 00:46:06.758 --> 00:46:08.050 I just want to be with a man 00:46:08.217 --> 00:46:10.217 who'll ignore me and take me for granted, 00:46:10.385 --> 00:46:12.094 who's only pretending to be interested 00:46:12.262 --> 00:46:13.929 in who I am and what I think 00:46:14.097 --> 00:46:15.640 so he can get into my pants. 00:46:15.807 --> 00:46:17.516 That would be me. 00:46:17.684 --> 00:46:19.435 Oh, thank you! 00:46:19.603 --> 00:46:22.146 Let's get out of here. 00:46:22.314 --> 00:46:24.189 Alison? Wait! 00:46:24.357 --> 00:46:26.858 Alison! 00:46:27.026 --> 00:46:29.527 I'll get into your pants! 00:46:47.045 --> 00:46:50.254 Oh, Elliot, get out of there, you silly boy. 00:46:50.422 --> 00:46:53.091 Man, you are so bad! 00:46:53.258 --> 00:46:54.384 Why, thank you. 00:46:54.551 --> 00:46:55.551 Just admit it. 00:46:55.719 --> 00:46:58.346 You're not very good at this whole instant-travel thing, are you? 00:46:58.514 --> 00:47:01.223 I'm sorry. Now then, what were we talking about? 00:47:01.391 --> 00:47:02.974 Oh, your next wish, wasn't it? 00:47:03.142 --> 00:47:04.851 Don't think I don't see what you're doing. 00:47:05.019 --> 00:47:08.647 I make wishes, and you think up ways to ruin them! 00:47:08.815 --> 00:47:10.691 I ruin them? 00:47:10.858 --> 00:47:13.026 How can you say that? 00:47:13.194 --> 00:47:16.613 I'm not perfect, you know! Do you think I enjoy this? 00:47:16.781 --> 00:47:20.367 I'm stuck in this horrible job for eternity, 00:47:20.535 --> 00:47:22.494 everybody hates me, I can't sleep, 00:47:22.662 --> 00:47:24.162 and when I actually try to help someone, 00:47:24.330 --> 00:47:25.831 they turn on me like I'm supposed to be 00:47:25.998 --> 00:47:28.249 God or something! 00:47:28.417 --> 00:47:31.585 For your information, my life is a living hell! 00:47:31.753 --> 00:47:35.089 I work hard! I try to look good for you! 00:47:35.257 --> 00:47:38.634 You do look good. You look very good. 00:47:38.802 --> 00:47:41.386 I just wanted you to like me! 00:47:41.554 --> 00:47:43.179 I do like you. 00:47:43.347 --> 00:47:45.181 It's just I'm feeling a little frustrated here. 00:47:45.349 --> 00:47:48.601 Don't give up on me, Elliot. I'm not giving up on you. 00:47:48.769 --> 00:47:50.645 Nobody gets it totally right right away. 00:47:50.813 --> 00:47:53.147 You're doing great. Really. 00:47:53.314 --> 00:47:56.442 - I am? - Yeah. You are. 00:47:56.609 --> 00:47:59.111 I'm so sorry your wish didn't work out. 00:48:00.822 --> 00:48:02.781 Friends? 00:48:02.949 --> 00:48:04.700 Sure. 00:48:04.868 --> 00:48:08.661 I'm sorry if I said anything to upset you or make you feel bad. 00:48:08.829 --> 00:48:11.539 And I'm gonna try to be more sensitive next time. 00:48:11.707 --> 00:48:13.458 Oh, I think you're sensitive enough already. 00:48:13.625 --> 00:48:15.460 - You think? - Are you kidding? 00:48:15.627 --> 00:48:16.919 You even went for me crying. 00:48:17.087 --> 00:48:19.463 Hey! Were you faking me out? Because... 00:48:19.630 --> 00:48:21.506 I was 100% sincere. 00:48:21.674 --> 00:48:24.426 It's not easy being the Barbra Streisand of evil, you know. 00:48:26.596 --> 00:48:28.472 What have we learned so far? 00:48:28.639 --> 00:48:30.640 Well, let's see. 00:48:30.807 --> 00:48:33.142 I'm starting to think women really don't know what they want. 00:48:33.310 --> 00:48:34.351 Amen! 00:48:34.519 --> 00:48:37.021 They say they want sensitivity, but you saw how fast she went 00:48:37.189 --> 00:48:39.106 for those tough dudes on the beach? 00:48:39.274 --> 00:48:40.691 Which tells you? 00:48:40.859 --> 00:48:42.485 That... 00:48:42.652 --> 00:48:45.153 well, it tells me that I want to be really big and strong. 00:48:45.321 --> 00:48:47.864 I want to have a great body. Tall and, like, 00:48:49.241 --> 00:48:50.492 Good. Go on. 00:48:50.659 --> 00:48:52.035 - I want to be athletic. - Check. 00:48:52.203 --> 00:48:53.828 And I want to be rich, too. 00:48:53.996 --> 00:48:57.664 For something that I like doing and that people really like me for. 00:48:57.832 --> 00:48:59.666 Great! This is getting really specific. 00:48:59.834 --> 00:49:02.670 Let's see... big, strong, rich, athletic, 00:49:02.838 --> 00:49:06.007 something you like, lots of fans... 00:49:06.175 --> 00:49:07.759 are you thinking what I'm thinking? 00:49:07.927 --> 00:49:09.218 Oh, I hope so. 00:49:09.385 --> 00:49:10.594 In the form of a wish? 00:49:10.762 --> 00:49:12.596 I wish I could play professional basketball! 00:49:12.764 --> 00:49:15.892 Then I'll just say the magic words: Dennis Rodman! 00:49:18.312 --> 00:49:20.271 - No! - Just kidding! 00:49:20.439 --> 00:49:21.939 Michael Jordan. 00:49:23.191 --> 00:49:24.525 Yeah! 00:49:26.027 --> 00:49:29.947 Three... two... one... 00:49:34.536 --> 00:49:37.912 The fans are going nuts here at the Forum in Los Angeles. 00:49:38.080 --> 00:49:40.373 The score, 135 to 85. 00:49:40.541 --> 00:49:42.208 Elliot Richards has totally dominated. 00:49:42.376 --> 00:49:44.085 If you're just tuning in, it's a shame 00:49:44.253 --> 00:49:46.295 because you've missed one of the greatest performances 00:49:46.463 --> 00:49:47.712 in the history of sports. 00:49:47.880 --> 00:49:49.548 Absolutely, Jerry. Absolutely. 00:49:49.715 --> 00:49:51.842 People say basketball caught fire 00:49:52.009 --> 00:49:53.927 with the ascendry of Michael Jordan. 00:49:54.095 --> 00:49:56.972 But after what we've seen here tonight, 00:49:57.139 --> 00:49:59.391 a lot of people are gonna be saying, "Michael who?" 00:49:59.559 --> 00:50:01.100 Right from the get-go, 00:50:01.268 --> 00:50:03.561 the fans took a look at Elliot Richards 00:50:03.728 --> 00:50:05.145 and a few women fainted 00:50:05.313 --> 00:50:07.273 and a few fellas, well, I'd rather not say, 00:50:07.440 --> 00:50:09.191 but they liked what they saw. 00:50:09.359 --> 00:50:12.111 Absolutely. He's a big fella and an imposing fella. 00:50:12.279 --> 00:50:15.446 He's enormous. He's listed at 7'6" in the program, 00:50:15.614 --> 00:50:17.991 but I say he plays, like you said, 11 feet tall. 00:50:18.158 --> 00:50:19.868 No, I don't think he's that big, Jerry. 00:50:20.035 --> 00:50:22.871 No, I'm saying the game he plays is 00:50:23.038 --> 00:50:25.415 that of some Viking giant 00:50:25.583 --> 00:50:28.792 with a basketball in one hand and a club in the other 00:50:28.960 --> 00:50:30.961 and standing 10, 11, 12 feet tall! 00:50:31.129 --> 00:50:33.130 It's obvious that Elliot Richards 00:50:33.298 --> 00:50:35.924 will control this game from the tip-off. 00:50:36.092 --> 00:50:37.342 Right from the get-go, 00:50:37.510 --> 00:50:40.094 Elliot is a dominating force in tonight's game. 00:50:40.262 --> 00:50:43.806 He was "phi-slamma-jamma," rubbing stink all over him 00:50:43.974 --> 00:50:47.018 with rib-tickling jumps of double-vanilla funk. 00:50:47.185 --> 00:50:50.480 Let's take a look. Here's a pass worthy of John Elway. 00:50:50.648 --> 00:50:52.899 For the dunk! Just a beautiful play. 00:50:53.066 --> 00:50:57.737 Here he is lining up for the 3, and, Ricola, it's good. 00:50:57.905 --> 00:51:00.406 Here comes his patented, over-the-shoulder, 00:51:00.574 --> 00:51:01.949 no-look three-pointer. 00:51:02.117 --> 00:51:03.743 And nothing but net. 00:51:06.495 --> 00:51:08.788 They got the rhythm tonight. 00:51:08.956 --> 00:51:11.499 They're in the zone. 00:51:11.667 --> 00:51:13.585 Here he is soaring through the air 00:51:13.753 --> 00:51:16.296 like a man on a flying trapezius. 00:51:16.464 --> 00:51:19.882 Bam! That's what I'm talking about! 00:51:20.050 --> 00:51:22.301 Destroying the backboard and the glass! 00:51:22.469 --> 00:51:24.887 - This kid's an animal. - Let's take another look. 00:51:25.055 --> 00:51:26.055 And boom! 00:51:26.222 --> 00:51:28.849 Humpty-hump, dump-dump! 00:51:29.017 --> 00:51:32.644 I love this game, folks. I sure enough do! 00:51:32.811 --> 00:51:35.605 Elliot Richards spitting glass at your ass! 00:51:35.773 --> 00:51:38.775 Bob is courtside with Elliot Richards now. Bob? 00:51:38.943 --> 00:51:40.401 Thank you, Jerry and Dan. 00:51:40.569 --> 00:51:42.736 Elliot, you must be one very proud young man this evening. 00:51:42.904 --> 00:51:45.906 Simply put, that was a staggeringly dramatic display of athletic ability. 00:51:46.074 --> 00:51:48.617 Well, you know, you go out there 00:51:48.785 --> 00:51:51.244 and you give 110% and you want to play good. 00:51:51.412 --> 00:51:54.831 You hope you play good. I think we played pretty good tonight. 00:51:54.999 --> 00:51:58.960 In sports terminology... and I don't mean to sound contrary here... 00:51:59.127 --> 00:52:02.546 the word "good" falls short of encompassing the sheer virtuosity 00:52:02.714 --> 00:52:05.007 of your performance this evening. 00:52:05.175 --> 00:52:08.718 Um, well, you know, there's no "I" in the word "team" 00:52:08.886 --> 00:52:12.222 and this is a team effort, and I want to say I'm proud 00:52:12.390 --> 00:52:15.684 to be associated with these fine individuals 00:52:15.851 --> 00:52:18.144 that I have had the pleasure of working with. 00:52:18.312 --> 00:52:21.855 I would never want to dis your teammates, but you realize that 00:52:22.023 --> 00:52:25.818 you smashed Wilt Chamberlain's record of 100 points in a game 00:52:25.986 --> 00:52:28.362 set in Hershey, Pennsylvania, all those years ago? 00:52:28.530 --> 00:52:32.157 Oh, man, you just gotta play one game at a time and give 110%. 00:52:32.325 --> 00:52:35.828 You gotta show you want it more than they do when the chips fall. 00:52:35.996 --> 00:52:38.706 Thank you very much. Back to you, Jerry and Dan. 00:52:38.873 --> 00:52:41.625 All right! Diablos! 00:52:41.793 --> 00:52:43.919 Number one, yeah! 00:52:48.173 --> 00:52:50.508 Elliot. Hi. 00:52:50.676 --> 00:52:52.510 Alison Gardner. 00:52:52.678 --> 00:52:54.053 "The Sporting News." 00:52:56.056 --> 00:52:57.640 It's nice to meet you, ma'am. 00:52:57.808 --> 00:53:00.559 God, I can't tell you how thrilled I am to meet you. 00:53:00.727 --> 00:53:03.186 I was wondering if there was a possibility 00:53:03.354 --> 00:53:05.772 if you might consider doing something exclusive with me 00:53:05.940 --> 00:53:07.441 for the magazine. 00:53:07.608 --> 00:53:10.402 You know, maybe more intimate, one-on-one. 00:53:10.570 --> 00:53:12.319 Just the two of us. 00:53:12.487 --> 00:53:16.574 Yeah, right, I'd kill you one-on-one! 00:53:16.742 --> 00:53:19.160 Shoot! 00:53:19.327 --> 00:53:23.539 God, it's so exciting to be here. I mean... 00:53:23.707 --> 00:53:26.291 you must have an enormously huge 00:53:26.459 --> 00:53:28.752 talent to do what you do. 00:53:28.919 --> 00:53:30.587 Well, you know, 00:53:30.755 --> 00:53:32.672 you go out there and you just give 110%. 00:53:32.840 --> 00:53:34.674 And... 00:53:34.842 --> 00:53:37.469 you hope you play good. And you want to play good. 00:53:37.636 --> 00:53:39.720 I think we played pretty good. 00:53:39.888 --> 00:53:41.805 God, you were incredible tonight. 00:53:41.973 --> 00:53:45.809 Watching you... I just kept thinking how unbelievably big 00:53:45.977 --> 00:53:49.104 your ego must be after a game like that. 00:53:49.272 --> 00:53:51.397 Well, not that big, really. 00:53:51.565 --> 00:53:52.940 I bet it's pretty big. 00:53:53.108 --> 00:53:55.193 Well, it gets a little bit bigger. 00:53:56.612 --> 00:53:59.156 It depends on how happy I am! 00:54:05.120 --> 00:54:08.748 Want to go back to my place? I'll show you my bottle cap collection. 00:54:08.916 --> 00:54:12.418 Oh, God, that would... that would be tremendous. 00:54:12.586 --> 00:54:14.087 All right! Well... 00:54:14.254 --> 00:54:16.963 I should... I should get dressed. 00:54:17.131 --> 00:54:18.715 I can't wait. 00:54:26.475 --> 00:54:28.142 Oh, my God! 00:54:30.311 --> 00:54:34.106 Hey! What the hell? 00:54:34.273 --> 00:54:36.817 - God, there's this... - Hey! 00:54:36.984 --> 00:54:38.652 Damn! 00:54:38.820 --> 00:54:40.278 Oh, heck! 00:54:40.446 --> 00:54:43.280 Oh, God, I remembered there's 00:54:43.448 --> 00:54:45.366 this teeny, tiny thing to do. 00:54:45.534 --> 00:54:47.409 - What's teeny? - No, no. 00:54:47.577 --> 00:54:49.829 - Just something I have to write. - About me? 00:54:49.996 --> 00:54:52.498 Yeah, just a little, short, itty-bitty blurb 00:54:52.666 --> 00:54:54.208 about tonight's game. 00:54:54.376 --> 00:54:56.501 Well, can I see you after the road trip? 00:54:56.669 --> 00:54:59.337 I would love to, but I'm working on 00:54:59.505 --> 00:55:02.507 a really big, huge, enormous story on the NFL, 00:55:02.675 --> 00:55:05.510 so I probably won't have time. 00:55:05.678 --> 00:55:07.386 Shoot, I understand. 00:55:07.554 --> 00:55:10.514 - You gotta give 110%. - Right. 00:55:10.682 --> 00:55:12.558 - Stay within yourself. - Hey, go, yeah. 00:55:12.725 --> 00:55:16.854 Hey, um... thanks for your time. 00:55:17.021 --> 00:55:19.189 So long. 00:55:19.357 --> 00:55:21.357 Oh! 00:55:21.525 --> 00:55:23.025 What the hell?! 00:55:23.193 --> 00:55:25.069 Oh, damn the devil! 00:55:25.237 --> 00:55:28.573 Damn the devil to hell! 00:55:28.740 --> 00:55:30.366 Shoot! Darn it! 00:55:30.534 --> 00:55:33.118 Where the heck did I put that? 00:55:39.750 --> 00:55:41.793 5-5-5. 00:55:43.796 --> 00:55:45.297 7-7-7. 00:55:57.475 --> 00:55:59.184 Now what are you doing? 00:55:59.351 --> 00:56:00.894 You seem so upset, Elliot. 00:56:01.061 --> 00:56:03.104 Do you want me to give you something to help you relax? 00:56:03.272 --> 00:56:04.397 You bet I'm upset. 00:56:04.565 --> 00:56:06.900 You gave me this little, teeny-weeny winkie. 00:56:07.067 --> 00:56:09.153 Well, that's easily fixed, you know. 00:56:09.321 --> 00:56:10.696 Now then, let's see. 00:56:10.864 --> 00:56:13.823 There's some M&M's for room 320. 00:56:13.991 --> 00:56:15.742 Red Hots for 316. 00:56:15.910 --> 00:56:17.660 You're giving them candy? 00:56:17.828 --> 00:56:20.371 Placebos. They work as well as the real thing. 00:56:20.539 --> 00:56:21.873 It's a scientific fact. 00:56:22.041 --> 00:56:24.374 You can't give sick people Tic Tacs. 00:56:24.542 --> 00:56:26.335 Sick people have notoriously bad breath. 00:56:26.502 --> 00:56:28.962 I'm performing a public service here. 00:56:29.130 --> 00:56:30.923 Now then, about your next wish. 00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:34.885 All right, okay. 00:56:35.053 --> 00:56:36.928 Well... 00:56:37.095 --> 00:56:38.763 I want to be smart. 00:56:38.931 --> 00:56:40.723 No, I want to be really smart. 00:56:40.891 --> 00:56:43.768 I want to be able to talk good. "Well." 00:56:43.936 --> 00:56:45.311 What's the word? 00:56:45.479 --> 00:56:46.604 Articulate? 00:56:46.772 --> 00:56:49.148 Articulate! Yeah, I want to be articulate. 00:56:49.316 --> 00:56:52.275 And I want to be witty and sophisticated. 00:56:52.443 --> 00:56:55.487 Charming. I want to know everything about everything 00:56:55.655 --> 00:56:57.447 and I want to be popular. 00:56:57.615 --> 00:56:59.157 I want to be good-looking. 00:56:59.325 --> 00:57:00.533 No, no, make that great-looking! 00:57:00.701 --> 00:57:04.328 And I want Alison to fall head over heels in love with me. 00:57:04.496 --> 00:57:05.746 Anything else? 00:57:05.914 --> 00:57:07.706 Like what? 00:57:07.874 --> 00:57:09.708 Like winkiewise? 00:57:09.876 --> 00:57:12.378 Oh, right. 00:57:12.545 --> 00:57:15.838 Yeah, well, 00:57:16.006 --> 00:57:18.967 I want to be big. 00:57:19.134 --> 00:57:21.177 Not like practical-joke big, 00:57:21.345 --> 00:57:23.763 but, you know, sort of... 00:57:26.141 --> 00:57:27.809 yeah, like that. Is that clear? 00:57:27.976 --> 00:57:30.602 Crystal. You just say "I wish" and I'll fill in the rest. 00:57:32.397 --> 00:57:35.399 I wish that I was witty and articulate... 00:57:35.566 --> 00:57:36.566 Blah, blah, blah. 00:57:36.734 --> 00:57:38.777 You got it, smarty-pants. 00:57:38.945 --> 00:57:42.154 Take two of these and call me in the morning. 00:57:59.172 --> 00:58:01.424 Oh! Elliot! 00:58:01.591 --> 00:58:04.510 Oh, it is so wonderful to see you, darling! 00:58:07.680 --> 00:58:10.682 New York has been so deadly dull without you. 00:58:10.850 --> 00:58:11.891 Where have you been? 00:58:12.059 --> 00:58:14.644 Out in the Hamptons, of course. Up to my ears in my new book. 00:58:14.812 --> 00:58:16.104 What, another one? 00:58:16.272 --> 00:58:18.857 You've written four books in three years. 00:58:19.025 --> 00:58:21.650 - What's this one about? - Oh, same old, same old. 00:58:21.818 --> 00:58:24.570 A deconstruction of the neoromantic period in art and literature 00:58:24.738 --> 00:58:26.196 from the political and economic perspective 00:58:26.364 --> 00:58:28.532 of the Industrial Revolution in France, England, and Germany. 00:58:28.700 --> 00:58:30.659 I can't imagine who reads this stuff! 00:58:32.119 --> 00:58:34.662 Well, Elliot, the critics, apparently. 00:58:34.830 --> 00:58:36.789 It's already won the Pulitzer Prize 00:58:36.957 --> 00:58:38.709 and it hasn't even been published yet. 00:58:38.877 --> 00:58:41.295 Like they say, Dr. Ngegitigegitibaba, 00:58:41.463 --> 00:58:45.298 a Pulitzer Prize and $3.50 will get you a caffe latte. 00:58:45.466 --> 00:58:47.050 So modest. 00:58:47.217 --> 00:58:49.052 Darling, you really should get around. 00:58:49.219 --> 00:58:51.721 Everyone's dying to see you. Mingle. 00:58:58.061 --> 00:59:00.103 Darling, you look fabulous. Vassily Mishka? 00:59:00.271 --> 00:59:02.898 What a charming man. Who is that? 00:59:03.066 --> 00:59:04.232 Oh, that's Elliot Richards. 00:59:04.400 --> 00:59:06.568 He's a very successful writer. 00:59:06.736 --> 00:59:10.404 He's a very successful everything, as a matter of fact. 00:59:10.572 --> 00:59:12.490 That's Elliot Richards? 00:59:12.657 --> 00:59:15.284 Oh, I've read all his books. He's brilliant. 00:59:15.452 --> 00:59:17.244 I had no idea he was so handsome. 00:59:17.412 --> 00:59:19.413 Why don't you go and talk to him? 00:59:19.581 --> 00:59:23.291 - I couldn't. What would I say? - Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. 00:59:23.459 --> 00:59:26.544 Just let him do all the talking. 00:59:26.712 --> 00:59:28.588 It's a common misapprehension 00:59:28.756 --> 00:59:30.673 that the word "gin" comes from the city Geneva. 00:59:30.841 --> 00:59:34.844 But the word "geneva," small "g," is a corruption of genievre, 00:59:35.012 --> 00:59:36.929 which is French for "juniper," 00:59:37.097 --> 00:59:40.224 the wonderful berry that flavors this miraculous libation. 00:59:42.268 --> 00:59:44.938 Speaking of miraculous. 00:59:45.106 --> 00:59:47.357 I'm Elliot Richards. How do you do? 00:59:47.525 --> 00:59:49.108 I know who you are. 00:59:49.275 --> 00:59:51.693 I'm Alison Gardner. 00:59:51.861 --> 00:59:54.822 I just had to tell you how much I loved your novel 00:59:54.989 --> 00:59:56.281 "Always Toujours." 00:59:56.449 --> 00:59:59.535 Well, I was just trying to make a simple point, really. 00:59:59.702 --> 01:00:02.620 Every time I've reread Camus and Sartre, 01:00:02.788 --> 01:00:04.038 I kept thinking to myself, 01:00:04.206 --> 01:00:06.624 "Why does the existential dilemma 01:00:06.792 --> 01:00:09.794 - have to be so damned bleak?" - Yes. 01:00:09.962 --> 01:00:11.838 Yes, we're alone in the universe. 01:00:12.005 --> 01:00:14.464 Yes, life is meaningless, death is inevitable. 01:00:14.632 --> 01:00:16.633 But is that necessarily so depressing? 01:00:16.801 --> 01:00:19.803 I couldn't agree more. 01:00:19.971 --> 01:00:22.556 Don't you think secular humanism is yummy? 01:00:22.723 --> 01:00:24.307 Oh, delish. 01:00:31.940 --> 01:00:34.316 My, my. 01:00:34.484 --> 01:00:36.986 They say alcohol is a disinhibitor, 01:00:37.154 --> 01:00:38.821 and it's working very well on me. 01:00:38.989 --> 01:00:40.530 Me, too. 01:00:42.992 --> 01:00:45.535 What an exquisite feeling. 01:00:45.703 --> 01:00:48.121 Every cell in my body just... 01:00:48.289 --> 01:00:50.790 wants to reach out and touch someone. 01:00:50.958 --> 01:00:54.126 Yes, it's incredible, isn't it? 01:00:55.670 --> 01:00:59.256 The physiology of touch. 01:00:59.424 --> 01:01:01.300 Just below your epidermis, 01:01:01.468 --> 01:01:05.053 concentrated in your fingertips, 01:01:05.221 --> 01:01:08.347 palms of your hands, 01:01:08.515 --> 01:01:11.142 soles of your feet, 01:01:11.310 --> 01:01:13.186 clitoris, 01:01:13.353 --> 01:01:15.855 nipples, penis, 01:01:16.023 --> 01:01:17.064 lips, 01:01:17.232 --> 01:01:19.357 tongue. 01:01:19.525 --> 01:01:22.736 Thousands of tiny little Meissner's corpuscles 01:01:22.904 --> 01:01:26.448 all deliciously sensitive to even the slightest caress, 01:01:26.616 --> 01:01:29.743 sending all those tiny little endorphin-producing 01:01:29.911 --> 01:01:33.997 pleasure messages to the hypothalamus... 01:01:35.416 --> 01:01:37.042 the primitive brain. 01:01:37.210 --> 01:01:40.545 I'm tingling all over. 01:01:40.713 --> 01:01:43.881 Do you know the largest organ in the human body? 01:01:45.717 --> 01:01:50.095 - I can guess. - You'd be wrong. 01:01:50.263 --> 01:01:52.973 It's your integumentary system. 01:01:53.141 --> 01:01:57.352 Your creamy, 01:01:57.520 --> 01:01:59.896 soft, 01:02:00.064 --> 01:02:04.526 and completely desirable skin. 01:02:04.693 --> 01:02:08.154 - Can we go to your place? - For something more? 01:02:13.743 --> 01:02:17.412 Oh, this is so perfect! 01:02:17.580 --> 01:02:20.374 Everything here absolutely screams 01:02:20.542 --> 01:02:23.251 Elliot Richards. 01:02:23.418 --> 01:02:26.045 Actually, most of the screaming 01:02:26.213 --> 01:02:28.256 takes place... 01:02:30.175 --> 01:02:31.592 in the bedroom. 01:02:44.063 --> 01:02:47.065 What the hell is going on, Mary? 01:02:47.233 --> 01:02:49.191 - Who are you? - Don't play games with me, 01:02:49.359 --> 01:02:51.110 Mr. Richards. I'm in no mood. 01:02:51.278 --> 01:02:54.780 I've been out of my mind all night. 01:02:54.948 --> 01:02:57.866 - Oh, my God. - Hi. 01:02:58.034 --> 01:02:59.785 Who's your little friend? 01:02:59.953 --> 01:03:02.203 Maybe I should be running along. 01:03:02.371 --> 01:03:04.622 Wait. This is a mistake. I'm not gay. 01:03:04.790 --> 01:03:08.585 Oh, really? And I'm Tony Danza. 01:03:08.752 --> 01:03:10.378 Honestly, I swear it. I'm not. 01:03:10.546 --> 01:03:11.796 Well, then tell me, 01:03:11.964 --> 01:03:14.798 who was in the Broadway cast of "The Pajama Game"? 01:03:14.966 --> 01:03:17.760 Janis Paige, John Raitt, Eddie Foy, Jr... 01:03:17.928 --> 01:03:19.304 I assume you mean the original cast 01:03:19.471 --> 01:03:22.224 because there was a revival in 1973 with Hal Linden... 01:03:22.392 --> 01:03:24.310 I am gay! 01:03:24.477 --> 01:03:25.769 I rest my case. 01:03:25.937 --> 01:03:28.605 Wait. I can prove to you that I am not gay. 01:03:28.772 --> 01:03:29.772 Kiss me. 01:03:29.940 --> 01:03:32.984 Oh! This is just sad. 01:03:33.152 --> 01:03:34.986 Will you shut up, bitch? 01:03:35.154 --> 01:03:37.822 Please, Alison, let me kiss you. 01:03:37.990 --> 01:03:40.824 Remember the champagne, the corpuscles? 01:03:40.992 --> 01:03:43.744 All right, Elliot, kiss me. 01:03:54.588 --> 01:03:55.838 I'm gay. 01:03:56.006 --> 01:03:59.175 - Well, thanks for dropping by. - Good night. 01:03:59.343 --> 01:04:01.010 Buh-bye. 01:04:02.387 --> 01:04:04.554 You've been drinking again, haven't you? 01:04:04.722 --> 01:04:06.348 This is just like the night 01:04:06.515 --> 01:04:09.017 you had all those Brandy Alexanders 01:04:09.185 --> 01:04:10.852 and ran up and down Fire Island 01:04:11.020 --> 01:04:13.980 with your cute little Speedos, singing "Evergreen" at the top... 01:04:15.650 --> 01:04:19.151 And so the cow was returned to its rightful owner. 01:04:19.319 --> 01:04:20.778 Okay, boys, 01:04:20.945 --> 01:04:23.197 tonight's homework. Algebra. 01:04:23.365 --> 01:04:26.158 Xn + Yn = Zn. 01:04:26.326 --> 01:04:29.620 Well, you're never gonna use that, are you? 01:04:31.038 --> 01:04:34.207 Imperialism and the First World War. 01:04:34.375 --> 01:04:38.461 What was done is done. No point thinking about it now. 01:04:38.629 --> 01:04:40.505 German, French, Spanish. 01:04:40.673 --> 01:04:44.091 Ja, ja, oui, oui, sí, sí. It's nonsense. 01:04:44.258 --> 01:04:45.634 Everyone speaks English anyway. 01:04:45.802 --> 01:04:48.428 And if they don't, they ought to. 01:04:48.596 --> 01:04:50.722 So, no homework tonight. 01:04:52.850 --> 01:04:54.726 But I want you to watch a lot of television, 01:04:54.894 --> 01:04:56.644 don't neglect your video games, 01:04:56.812 --> 01:04:57.895 and I'll see you in the morning. 01:04:58.063 --> 01:05:01.524 Shall we say 10:00, 10:30? 01:05:01.692 --> 01:05:03.359 No point in getting up too early, is there? 01:05:10.242 --> 01:05:12.076 Elliot, darling. 01:05:12.244 --> 01:05:15.246 What a lovely surprise! 01:05:15.414 --> 01:05:17.081 I hope you had a pleasant evening. 01:05:17.249 --> 01:05:19.083 As if you didn't know. 01:05:19.251 --> 01:05:20.584 I'm sorry, darling. 01:05:20.752 --> 01:05:22.752 I know it must be really frustrating for you. 01:05:22.920 --> 01:05:24.921 Maybe I can make it up to you somehow. 01:05:25.089 --> 01:05:28.550 Yeah, you've been a really big help so far. 01:05:28.718 --> 01:05:31.761 I know. I've been really naughty, haven't I? 01:05:31.929 --> 01:05:34.430 Maybe a good spanking's in order. 01:05:34.597 --> 01:05:37.599 Is that all you think about? Do you think everything is about sex? 01:05:37.767 --> 01:05:39.518 No, of course not. 01:05:39.686 --> 01:05:43.605 I mean, there's greed, gluttony, sloth, anger, vanity, envy. 01:05:43.773 --> 01:05:46.650 No, there's also honesty and hard work 01:05:46.818 --> 01:05:49.986 and caring about people and doing good for somebody else. 01:05:50.154 --> 01:05:53.614 Oh, you're just a big Boy Scout, aren't you? 01:05:54.950 --> 01:05:56.784 I find that incredibly appealing. 01:05:56.952 --> 01:05:59.537 No. All I've been doing is thinking about myself. 01:05:59.704 --> 01:06:01.830 I could be doing all these really important things 01:06:01.998 --> 01:06:03.123 to help other people. 01:06:03.291 --> 01:06:04.791 What about Alison? 01:06:04.959 --> 01:06:08.211 Oh, I don't know anymore. You mess it up anyway. 01:06:08.379 --> 01:06:10.756 I know that Alison's not really like that. 01:06:10.923 --> 01:06:13.257 What exactly do you have in mind? 01:06:13.425 --> 01:06:16.844 I want to do something great for mankind. 01:06:17.012 --> 01:06:18.804 I want to create a better world. 01:06:18.972 --> 01:06:22.475 I want to go down in history for doing something really important 01:06:22.642 --> 01:06:24.894 and I want Alison to take me really seriously 01:06:25.061 --> 01:06:26.269 and to treat me with respect. 01:06:26.437 --> 01:06:28.897 I sense a wish coming on. 01:06:31.150 --> 01:06:32.650 Yes! 01:06:34.528 --> 01:06:35.904 I wish 01:06:36.071 --> 01:06:38.822 that I was the President of the United States. 01:06:40.116 --> 01:06:41.784 That is the noblest, 01:06:41.951 --> 01:06:44.369 most unselfish thing I've ever heard. 01:06:44.537 --> 01:06:46.330 And it's a great way to meet girls. 01:06:46.498 --> 01:06:49.124 Bless you, Elliot Richards, 01:06:49.292 --> 01:06:52.252 and Godspeed. 01:06:56.299 --> 01:06:58.467 Mr. President! 01:06:58.635 --> 01:07:00.177 Alison Gardner. 01:07:00.345 --> 01:07:02.846 We're so honored to have you here, sir. 01:07:07.351 --> 01:07:11.521 No, no, no. 01:07:11.688 --> 01:07:15.983 The actors are beside themselves with excitement. 01:07:16.151 --> 01:07:17.526 We're going to a play? 01:07:17.693 --> 01:07:19.277 I think you'll find it quite amusing. 01:07:19.445 --> 01:07:22.155 It's called "Our American Cousin." 01:07:22.323 --> 01:07:24.866 You know, I think I've seen it. As a matter of fact, I'm sure I have. 01:07:25.034 --> 01:07:27.035 I don't think you've seen it, sir. 01:07:27.203 --> 01:07:30.621 - It's an entirely new play. - Really? I think I know how it ends. 01:07:30.789 --> 01:07:33.249 - Say, can we just go to a movie? - A what? 01:07:33.416 --> 01:07:35.209 The president. 01:07:43.008 --> 01:07:46.261 You seem tense tonight, Mr. President. 01:07:46.428 --> 01:07:49.264 Oh, well, you know, I've had a lot on my mind, 01:07:49.431 --> 01:07:53.184 what with preserving the Union and my wife going crazy and all. 01:07:58.356 --> 01:08:00.399 Can I help you find something, Mr. President? 01:08:00.567 --> 01:08:02.944 Yeah, I'm looking for my pager. 01:08:03.112 --> 01:08:05.154 - Your what, sir? - My pager. 01:08:05.322 --> 01:08:08.407 It's this little red plastic thingy. 01:08:08.575 --> 01:08:12.411 It looks kind of like a cell phone, only smaller. 01:08:12.579 --> 01:08:14.121 I'm sorry! Sorry! 01:08:19.043 --> 01:08:20.335 All right, no problem. 01:08:20.502 --> 01:08:23.754 No problem! No problem! No problem. 01:08:25.424 --> 01:08:27.884 - Sic semper tyrannis. - Wait! 01:08:30.429 --> 01:08:31.512 Okay. 01:08:47.945 --> 01:08:49.529 You're late, Richards. 01:08:49.697 --> 01:08:52.616 Yes, sir. I'm very sorry. It won't happen again. 01:08:52.783 --> 01:08:54.492 See that it doesn't. 01:08:54.660 --> 01:08:56.703 I don't think a person with your extremely limited 01:08:56.871 --> 01:08:59.496 personal-professional skills can afford to push the envelope. 01:08:59.664 --> 01:09:01.999 Yes, sir. 01:09:04.628 --> 01:09:06.128 Thank you, sir. 01:09:14.428 --> 01:09:15.720 Creep. 01:09:17.848 --> 01:09:20.433 So tell me, how was it? I'm dying to know. 01:09:20.601 --> 01:09:22.310 What are you doing here? 01:09:22.478 --> 01:09:24.436 Just think of me as a computer virus. 01:09:24.604 --> 01:09:26.980 I think of you as a plague. 01:09:27.148 --> 01:09:30.692 Now will you get off my screen? I have work to do. 01:09:30.860 --> 01:09:34.154 Whoa, what's this whole "get thee behind me" thing? 01:09:34.322 --> 01:09:36.448 We still have business here, Mr. Richards. 01:09:36.616 --> 01:09:39.742 No, not now. I told you, I've got work to do. 01:09:39.910 --> 01:09:41.577 And besides, I've only got two wishes left 01:09:41.745 --> 01:09:43.663 - and I don't want to screw them up. - Correction. 01:09:43.830 --> 01:09:45.039 You have one wish left. 01:09:45.207 --> 01:09:48.376 Nice try. 01:09:48.543 --> 01:09:52.253 - I've got two more coming. - No. Count them, baby. 01:09:52.421 --> 01:09:56.007 - You were President of the US. - Yeah, okay, one. 01:09:56.175 --> 01:09:58.218 You were a charming, handsome, articulate, 01:09:58.386 --> 01:10:00.011 celebrated author and raconteur. 01:10:00.179 --> 01:10:03.180 Yeah, and you turned me into a flaming homosexual. 01:10:03.348 --> 01:10:05.391 - Professional basketball player. - Three. 01:10:05.558 --> 01:10:07.559 The sensitive, caring, artistic guy was four. 01:10:07.727 --> 01:10:09.269 And the Colombian drug lord was five. 01:10:09.437 --> 01:10:12.356 - That means I have two more coming. - You forgot the Big Mac and Coke. 01:10:12.524 --> 01:10:15.858 - What? That wasn't a wish. - What do you call it? 01:10:16.026 --> 01:10:19.070 You said, "I wish," and I got it for you. Sounds like a wish to me. 01:10:19.238 --> 01:10:21.531 No! No, no, no, no. That's not fair. 01:10:21.699 --> 01:10:24.200 Fair? Who do you think you're talking to? 01:10:24.368 --> 01:10:27.371 I don't recall anybody ever accusing me of being fair before. 01:10:27.539 --> 01:10:29.664 - I think I'm insulted. - What? You can't... 01:10:29.832 --> 01:10:31.666 no, this isn't right! You can't do this! 01:10:31.834 --> 01:10:33.668 What are you gonna do? Sue me? 01:10:33.836 --> 01:10:35.336 No! That's it! 01:10:35.504 --> 01:10:37.547 I've had it with you! 01:10:37.715 --> 01:10:38.881 The whole deal is off. 01:10:39.049 --> 01:10:40.717 Off! 01:10:42.051 --> 01:10:43.885 Shut up! 01:10:59.234 --> 01:11:00.401 Are you all right? 01:11:02.738 --> 01:11:03.904 Not really. 01:11:06.824 --> 01:11:08.450 I need to talk to God. 01:11:08.617 --> 01:11:10.493 Well, that's the power of prayer. 01:11:10.661 --> 01:11:13.079 Just say what's in your heart and He hears. 01:11:13.247 --> 01:11:14.581 No, you don't understand. 01:11:14.749 --> 01:11:17.333 I really need to talk to Him. 01:11:17.501 --> 01:11:19.626 Now. It's urgent. 01:11:19.794 --> 01:11:22.337 Is it something you can tell me? 01:11:22.505 --> 01:11:25.924 No, it's personal. 01:11:26.092 --> 01:11:28.802 There's nothing you could say that I wouldn't understand. 01:11:28.970 --> 01:11:31.096 Um... 01:11:31.264 --> 01:11:33.389 Why don't you just try me? 01:11:33.557 --> 01:11:35.266 Okay, a few days ago, 01:11:35.434 --> 01:11:37.435 I sold my soul to the devil for seven wishes. 01:11:37.603 --> 01:11:39.979 I've already had five of them, but the devil says I've had six. 01:11:40.147 --> 01:11:41.898 But I'm not counting the Big Mac and the Coke, 01:11:42.066 --> 01:11:44.859 and she is and I don't think that's fair, do you? 01:11:48.654 --> 01:11:50.280 This is so unnecessary. 01:11:50.448 --> 01:11:53.325 - You're coming downtown. - The devil gypped me for a burger! 01:11:53.493 --> 01:11:55.368 Tell your story to the sergeant. 01:11:55.536 --> 01:11:57.912 So do you have a copy of this contract? 01:11:58.080 --> 01:12:00.414 No, I told you, she keeps it in her office. 01:12:00.582 --> 01:12:03.918 - At this nightclub in Oakland. - Yes, at a nightclub 01:12:04.086 --> 01:12:05.461 and, no, I can't tell you where it is. 01:12:05.629 --> 01:12:07.588 Because you promised the devil you wouldn't? 01:12:07.756 --> 01:12:09.632 No, because she drove. That's why. 01:12:09.800 --> 01:12:12.927 Right. In a Lamborghini Diablo. 01:12:13.095 --> 01:12:15.805 - Look, Officer. - Sergeant. 01:12:15.972 --> 01:12:18.182 Sergeant, I know my rights. 01:12:18.350 --> 01:12:20.142 I don't have to talk to you without a lawyer. 01:12:20.310 --> 01:12:22.228 So you either book me or you let me go. 01:12:22.395 --> 01:12:24.145 Oh, gee, are those my choices? 01:12:24.313 --> 01:12:26.523 Oh, what do I do, what do I do? 01:12:26.690 --> 01:12:29.609 I choose "book you." Throw him in the lockup. 01:12:29.777 --> 01:12:30.819 Arraignment in the morning. 01:12:30.986 --> 01:12:32.862 - Drunk and disorderly. - What?! Hey! 01:12:33.030 --> 01:12:36.157 - Recommending psychiatric evaluation. - It's her! It's her, she's the devil! 01:12:36.324 --> 01:12:39.785 One more word out of you and I'll pop you one, you whacko bastard. 01:12:39.953 --> 01:12:41.829 Now move it. 01:12:48.754 --> 01:12:50.003 Spread them. 01:12:51.548 --> 01:12:53.799 There's no point fighting about this. 01:12:53.967 --> 01:12:57.845 You have to learn to accept the inevitable. 01:12:58.012 --> 01:12:59.847 We're all doomed anyway, 01:13:00.014 --> 01:13:02.473 so you might as well just get with the program, 01:13:02.641 --> 01:13:05.893 wish your way out of here, and move on. 01:13:08.355 --> 01:13:11.315 I wasn't kidding when I said I liked you. 01:13:11.483 --> 01:13:12.859 I do, Elliot. 01:13:13.026 --> 01:13:16.194 I think you have massive potential. 01:13:16.362 --> 01:13:18.864 If you're looking at an eternity in hell, 01:13:19.031 --> 01:13:21.116 let me tell you, 01:13:21.284 --> 01:13:24.578 it wouldn't hurt to have a friend like me. 01:13:32.043 --> 01:13:35.671 So you just think about that. Give me a call when you're ready. 01:13:44.513 --> 01:13:46.014 She's a devil, that one. 01:13:46.182 --> 01:13:47.724 What? 01:13:54.564 --> 01:13:56.565 I said, she's a devil, that lady cop. 01:14:00.321 --> 01:14:02.614 Yeah, I guess. 01:14:02.781 --> 01:14:04.616 What you in for, brother? 01:14:05.867 --> 01:14:06.909 Eternity. 01:14:07.076 --> 01:14:09.620 Oh, that's a long time. 01:14:09.787 --> 01:14:12.956 You must have did some really bad shit. 01:14:13.124 --> 01:14:14.750 Yeah. 01:14:16.628 --> 01:14:18.212 I sold my soul. 01:14:18.379 --> 01:14:20.421 Hope you got something good for it. 01:14:20.589 --> 01:14:22.882 As a matter of fact, I got nothing for it. 01:14:23.050 --> 01:14:25.635 Well, that's a really bad deal, if you ask me. 01:14:25.802 --> 01:14:29.722 Well, I'm not asking you. 01:14:35.102 --> 01:14:37.354 Doesn't really matter, though. 01:14:37.521 --> 01:14:40.482 - You can't sell your soul anyway. - Oh, really? 01:14:40.650 --> 01:14:42.817 Why do you say that? 01:14:42.985 --> 01:14:45.402 It doesn't really belong to you in the first place. 01:14:45.570 --> 01:14:47.279 No way, nohow. 01:14:47.447 --> 01:14:50.908 So who does it belong to? 01:14:54.913 --> 01:14:57.288 It belongs to God. 01:14:57.456 --> 01:14:59.165 That universal spirit that animates 01:14:59.333 --> 01:15:02.210 and binds all things in existence. 01:15:04.296 --> 01:15:07.924 The devil gonna try to confuse you. But that's her gig. 01:15:08.092 --> 01:15:11.301 But in the end, you'll see clear to who and what you are 01:15:11.469 --> 01:15:13.303 and what you're here to do. 01:15:13.471 --> 01:15:15.931 Now, you're gonna make some mistakes along the way, 01:15:16.099 --> 01:15:17.307 everybody does, 01:15:17.475 --> 01:15:20.852 but if you just open up your heart and open up your mind, 01:15:21.020 --> 01:15:23.980 you'll get it. 01:15:26.191 --> 01:15:27.483 Who are you? 01:15:30.362 --> 01:15:32.822 Just a friend, brother. 01:15:32.990 --> 01:15:34.657 Just a really good friend. 01:16:40.802 --> 01:16:42.636 Hey, baby! 01:16:52.563 --> 01:16:53.938 We love you, Elliot! 01:16:54.106 --> 01:16:56.274 Elliot, darling. 01:16:56.442 --> 01:16:58.610 So nice of you to drop by. 01:16:58.778 --> 01:17:01.154 Come into my office. 01:17:01.322 --> 01:17:05.532 Oh, don't worry about them. They're having a fabulous time. 01:17:05.700 --> 01:17:07.368 Pathetic, aren't they? 01:17:07.535 --> 01:17:09.578 Everybody wants to go to the party, 01:17:09.746 --> 01:17:12.998 but nobody wants to pay the piper. 01:17:13.166 --> 01:17:14.958 - Are you...? - Don't get too excited. 01:17:15.126 --> 01:17:17.960 It's just a Halloween costume. 01:17:18.128 --> 01:17:20.963 Anyway, Elliot, my darling, have you thought of your last wish? 01:17:21.131 --> 01:17:22.840 No. 01:17:23.008 --> 01:17:25.427 Well, I hate to put a big rush on this, but there is a time limit. 01:17:25.595 --> 01:17:26.762 Read your contract. 01:17:36.981 --> 01:17:38.649 I really don't want another wish. 01:17:38.817 --> 01:17:40.776 That's funny. 01:17:40.944 --> 01:17:42.319 Do you think this halo's too much? 01:17:42.487 --> 01:17:46.155 No. I really don't want it. 01:17:47.950 --> 01:17:50.660 What do you mean, you don't want it? 01:17:50.828 --> 01:17:52.495 You get seven wishes. 01:17:52.663 --> 01:17:54.705 There's nothing I want. 01:17:55.958 --> 01:17:59.918 Well, there are things that I want, but nothing that you can give me. 01:18:00.086 --> 01:18:03.130 What is that supposed to mean? 01:18:03.297 --> 01:18:05.549 Well... 01:18:05.716 --> 01:18:07.926 last night, when I was lying in jail, 01:18:08.094 --> 01:18:09.135 I was talking to this guy 01:18:09.302 --> 01:18:12.096 and I realized that wishing just doesn't work. 01:18:12.264 --> 01:18:14.306 All my life I wished to be better-looking, 01:18:14.474 --> 01:18:17.351 richer, successful, talented, whatever. 01:18:17.519 --> 01:18:19.562 I always thought it'd be great if someone could just wave 01:18:19.729 --> 01:18:21.813 a magic wand and make that happen. 01:18:21.981 --> 01:18:24.941 Well, I realized that it just doesn't work by magic. 01:18:25.109 --> 01:18:27.777 I think I'm gonna be sick. 01:18:27.945 --> 01:18:31.656 And I've been starting to think that 01:18:31.824 --> 01:18:35.159 it really isn't that important how far we go in life anyway. 01:18:35.326 --> 01:18:37.369 It's how we get there that really matters. 01:18:37.537 --> 01:18:39.079 Oh. 01:18:39.247 --> 01:18:42.833 You know, that is so inspiring. 01:18:44.377 --> 01:18:45.836 So it's okay? 01:18:46.004 --> 01:18:49.172 Well, no, Elliot. I'm afraid it's not okay. 01:18:49.339 --> 01:18:50.590 A deal's a deal. 01:18:50.757 --> 01:18:53.134 You get one more wish, and I get your soul. 01:18:53.302 --> 01:18:55.136 So let's just get on with it, shall we? 01:18:55.304 --> 01:18:58.973 - I'm not gonna do it. - Oh, really? 01:18:59.141 --> 01:19:01.683 Before you get all hinky, I should warn you. 01:19:01.851 --> 01:19:04.019 I'm not all peaches and cream, you know. 01:19:04.187 --> 01:19:07.898 I do have a darker side and, believe me, it's not pretty. 01:19:08.065 --> 01:19:10.817 Now you can go easy, or you can go hard, 01:19:10.985 --> 01:19:13.986 but one way or another, I will get your soul. 01:19:14.154 --> 01:19:15.821 I'm not gonna do it. 01:19:15.989 --> 01:19:19.200 There's nothing that you can say or do that will make me. 01:19:19.367 --> 01:19:21.119 Oh, I think you'll change your mind. 01:19:21.287 --> 01:19:23.788 I'm just gonna slip into something a little more terrifying. 01:19:23.956 --> 01:19:25.207 See you in hell! 01:19:34.382 --> 01:19:36.550 Wait, wait, wait! Just wait a minute! 01:19:38.802 --> 01:19:40.136 Wait! 01:19:41.847 --> 01:19:45.058 Now listen to me, you disgusting little maggot! 01:19:45.226 --> 01:19:46.935 This is your last chance 01:19:47.102 --> 01:19:49.437 before the big weenie roast! 01:19:49.605 --> 01:19:52.731 Make a wish or forever burn in hell! 01:19:52.899 --> 01:19:55.776 Okay! Okay! 01:19:55.944 --> 01:19:57.903 I wish... 01:19:58.071 --> 01:20:00.405 I wish that Alison has a happy life. 01:20:00.573 --> 01:20:02.741 Oh, God. 01:20:28.099 --> 01:20:30.140 Is this heaven? 01:20:30.308 --> 01:20:32.601 Heaven? God, no, it's the courthouse. 01:20:32.769 --> 01:20:34.770 I'm just meeting a couple of lawyers for lunch. 01:20:34.938 --> 01:20:36.814 Clients of mine. Come on. 01:20:38.358 --> 01:20:41.610 Wait, what happened to the whole, 01:20:41.778 --> 01:20:43.861 you know, fire 01:20:44.029 --> 01:20:48.157 - and the big, horny guy with... - Oh, just a few special effects. 01:20:48.325 --> 01:20:50.785 Sort of the Universal Studios tour of evil. 01:20:50.953 --> 01:20:54.664 It normally works pretty well, but evidently you weren't going for it. 01:20:54.832 --> 01:20:56.665 Your last wish was a deal-breaker. 01:20:56.833 --> 01:20:59.835 - What? - Nobody ever reads the contract. 01:21:00.003 --> 01:21:02.963 Article 147, paragraph 9, section 3: 01:21:03.131 --> 01:21:04.756 Selfless acts of redemption. 01:21:04.924 --> 01:21:06.133 Huh? 01:21:06.301 --> 01:21:09.177 Basically, it says, "If you commit one truly benevolent act, 01:21:09.345 --> 01:21:10.637 it voids the contract." 01:21:10.805 --> 01:21:12.598 So I get to keep my soul? 01:21:12.765 --> 01:21:15.225 Yes, you get to keep your soul. 01:21:17.103 --> 01:21:18.395 Yes! 01:21:20.607 --> 01:21:24.358 Yes! I get to keep my soul! 01:21:30.115 --> 01:21:33.284 On November 16th, I'll have been doing this for 6,000 years 01:21:33.452 --> 01:21:36.119 and you're the first person to give away one of their wishes. 01:21:36.287 --> 01:21:37.829 I hope it's not the beginning of a trend. 01:21:37.997 --> 01:21:40.498 - You're not gonna tell anyone, are you? - No, no, I promise. 01:21:40.666 --> 01:21:42.751 Nope. 01:21:42.918 --> 01:21:47.504 I don't get it, though. I mean, why are you being nice? 01:21:47.672 --> 01:21:50.966 Look, Elliot. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 01:21:51.134 --> 01:21:52.926 The whole "good and evil" thing... 01:21:53.094 --> 01:21:54.970 you know, Him and me. 01:21:55.138 --> 01:21:57.306 It really comes down to you. 01:21:57.474 --> 01:21:59.515 You don't have to look hard for heaven and hell. 01:21:59.683 --> 01:22:02.352 They're right here on Earth. 01:22:02.519 --> 01:22:04.771 You make the choice. 01:22:04.938 --> 01:22:06.482 And I guess you just made yours. 01:22:06.650 --> 01:22:08.525 So I can go now? 01:22:08.693 --> 01:22:10.944 Unless you want another seven wishes. 01:22:12.363 --> 01:22:14.822 - No, thanks. - Didn't think so. 01:22:16.533 --> 01:22:18.242 I really liked you, you know. 01:22:20.204 --> 01:22:23.247 Well, to tell you the truth, 01:22:23.415 --> 01:22:25.248 you've been the best friend I've ever had. 01:22:25.416 --> 01:22:27.709 Oh, dear. Don't go gushy on me now. 01:22:27.877 --> 01:22:29.544 Okay. 01:22:29.712 --> 01:22:33.548 Go on. Go. You'll scare the fish away. 01:22:53.735 --> 01:22:54.860 Alison? 01:22:55.028 --> 01:22:57.405 - Hi. - Hi. 01:22:57.572 --> 01:22:58.614 Oh, uh... 01:22:58.782 --> 01:23:01.242 Elliot Richards. We've met a couple times. 01:23:01.410 --> 01:23:04.786 Yeah, I remember. Hi, how are you? 01:23:04.954 --> 01:23:06.162 I'm great. 01:23:06.330 --> 01:23:08.415 I'm exaggerating. I'm good. 01:23:11.585 --> 01:23:15.255 We've been working together here for the last four years 01:23:15.423 --> 01:23:17.756 and I've always noticed you 01:23:17.924 --> 01:23:21.927 and thought that you looked like a very interesting person. 01:23:22.095 --> 01:23:24.722 I don't know how interesting I am. 01:23:24.889 --> 01:23:28.641 Well, the truth is I don't know you and you don't know me, 01:23:28.809 --> 01:23:31.602 and if we were to get to know each other 01:23:31.770 --> 01:23:33.896 that there's a chance that we just might hit it off. 01:23:34.064 --> 01:23:38.025 So I was wondering if you wanted to go get a cup of coffee or... 01:23:38.193 --> 01:23:41.528 That's really so nice of you. 01:23:41.696 --> 01:23:43.321 I'm seeing someone. 01:23:46.284 --> 01:23:48.618 Well, of course you are. 01:23:48.786 --> 01:23:52.122 He's sure one lucky guy. 01:23:53.624 --> 01:23:56.459 Listen, if it ever doesn't work out with him, then... 01:23:59.296 --> 01:24:00.546 - That's so nice of you. - Really? 01:24:00.714 --> 01:24:02.590 - Yeah. Okay. - Thanks a lot. 01:24:02.758 --> 01:24:05.634 - I'll see you around. - Okay, take care. Bye. 01:24:08.679 --> 01:24:10.972 - Go. It's a joke. - It's only 10 bucks. 01:24:11.140 --> 01:24:14.142 - What's he gonna do? - Right. 01:24:14.310 --> 01:24:16.478 Hey, Elliot, fo-felliot, so-smelliot. 01:24:16.645 --> 01:24:18.813 What's up, dudester? Yeah. 01:24:18.981 --> 01:24:20.647 What do you say we go down to the club tonight 01:24:20.815 --> 01:24:23.859 and pick up some chickette? 01:24:26.613 --> 01:24:27.821 Nice talking to you, Bob. 01:25:02.522 --> 01:25:03.897 - Hey. - New neighbors? 01:25:04.065 --> 01:25:05.357 Guess so. 01:25:08.528 --> 01:25:11.028 Hi. Oh. 01:25:11.196 --> 01:25:13.739 Hi. You must be the boy next door. 01:25:13.907 --> 01:25:15.699 Do you want to give me a hand? 01:25:17.118 --> 01:25:19.870 Habla English? Spracht English? 01:25:20.038 --> 01:25:22.498 Parlez-vous "Americiano"? 01:25:25.042 --> 01:25:28.711 - Hi, I'm Elliot Richards. - Hey. Nicole Delarusso. 01:25:28.879 --> 01:25:31.714 Don't call me Nicky, though. Everyone always calls me Nicky. 01:25:31.882 --> 01:25:34.384 It starts as Nicole, then becomes Nicky, then Nick, 01:25:34.552 --> 01:25:37.553 then Ni, then just "Nn." People just call me "Nn." 01:25:37.720 --> 01:25:39.096 I'm cracking myself up here. 01:25:39.264 --> 01:25:41.390 - You want to give me a hand? - Yes, I do. 01:25:41.558 --> 01:25:44.017 - Okay. - Oh, wow. 01:25:44.185 --> 01:25:45.561 You got the new Ingebritzens! 01:25:45.728 --> 01:25:48.105 - Yeah, they're the best! - They're the best! 01:25:51.692 --> 01:25:54.026 I'd be happy to hook these up for you 01:25:54.194 --> 01:25:57.572 so you could have some music, if you wanted, while you're unpacking. 01:25:57.739 --> 01:26:00.616 I could make us dinner... that way you won't have to cook. 01:26:00.784 --> 01:26:02.701 Yeah, right. Me, cook? 01:26:02.869 --> 01:26:04.244 Thank you. 01:26:04.412 --> 01:26:07.789 Say, Nicole, you wouldn't happen to have a sister, would you? 01:26:07.957 --> 01:26:10.709 No sisters, but I've got a lot of brothers, though. 01:26:10.877 --> 01:26:12.878 Hey, hey 01:26:13.045 --> 01:26:16.171 Did you ever think that there might be another way? 01:26:16.339 --> 01:26:20.426 Just feel better, just feel better about today 01:26:20.594 --> 01:26:23.178 Oh, no 01:26:23.346 --> 01:26:26.932 If you never wanna have to turn and go away 01:26:27.100 --> 01:26:31.353 You might feel better, might feel better if you stay 01:26:33.273 --> 01:26:35.149 Yeah, yeah 01:26:35.317 --> 01:26:38.277 I bet you haven't heard a word I've said 01:26:38.445 --> 01:26:40.446 Yeah, yeah 01:26:40.613 --> 01:26:43.323 I've had enough of all your trying 01:26:43.490 --> 01:26:47.286 Just give up the state of mind you're in 01:26:47.454 --> 01:26:52.041 If you wanna be somebody else 01:26:52.208 --> 01:26:58.338 If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself 01:26:58.505 --> 01:27:02.634 If you wanna be somebody else 01:27:02.801 --> 01:27:12.976 Change your life 01:27:15.396 --> 01:27:17.564 Hey, hey 01:27:17.732 --> 01:27:20.858 Have you ever danced in the rain or thanked the sun 01:27:21.026 --> 01:27:23.486 Just for shining, just for shining 01:27:23.654 --> 01:27:25.321 Or the sea 01:27:25.489 --> 01:27:27.949 Oh, no 01:27:28.116 --> 01:27:31.243 Take it all in, the world's a show, and, yeah 01:27:31.411 --> 01:27:35.538 You look much better, look much better when you glow 01:27:37.750 --> 01:27:39.334 Yeah, yeah 01:27:39.502 --> 01:27:42.629 I hope you've heard every word I've said 01:27:42.797 --> 01:27:44.755 Yeah, yeah 01:27:44.923 --> 01:27:47.883 If you've had enough of all your trying 01:27:48.051 --> 01:27:52.221 Just give up the state of mind you're in 01:27:52.389 --> 01:27:56.684 If you wanna be somebody else 01:27:56.851 --> 01:28:02.939 If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself 01:28:03.107 --> 01:28:07.151 If you wanna be somebody else 01:28:07.319 --> 01:28:17.704 Change your mind 01:28:19.206 --> 01:28:29.214 Ooh, yeah 01:28:36.138 --> 01:28:37.471 Hey, hey 01:28:37.639 --> 01:28:41.058 What ya say we both go and seize the day 01:28:41.226 --> 01:28:45.354 'Cause what's your hurry, what's your hurry, anyway? 01:28:47.232 --> 01:28:49.399 Yeah, yeah 01:28:49.567 --> 01:28:52.277 I hope you've heard every word I've said 01:28:52.445 --> 01:28:54.529 Yeah, yeah 01:28:54.697 --> 01:28:57.574 If you've had enough of all your trying 01:28:57.742 --> 01:29:01.785 Just give up the state of mind you're in 01:29:04.497 --> 01:29:09.084 If you wanna be somebody else 01:29:09.252 --> 01:29:15.214 If you're tired of losing battles with yourself 01:29:15.382 --> 01:29:19.469 If you wanna be somebody else 01:29:19.636 --> 01:29:40.654 Change your mind 01:29:42.157 --> 01:29:56.211 Ooh, yeah 01:29:56.378 --> 01:30:02.468 Ooh, yeah. 01:30:02.492 --> 01:30:22.492 Telegram Channel and Instagram Page .:: @bollbolljan_com ::.