WEBVTT 00:00:00.036 --> 00:00:20.036 ..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::.. ‏.:: www.bolboljan.net ::. 00:00:30.460 --> 00:00:33.560 I love you. 00:00:33.560 --> 00:00:37.230 I want to spend the rest of my life with you. 00:00:37.230 --> 00:00:39.500 Will you marry me? 00:00:42.070 --> 00:00:44.470 Baby, 00:00:44.470 --> 00:00:46.870 baby-- 00:00:46.870 --> 00:00:49.570 Baby, your breath smells like dog food. 00:00:49.580 --> 00:00:53.240 [ Panting ] With just a hint of rottweiler butt. 00:00:53.250 --> 00:00:55.750 You're on notice, Rocco. 00:00:55.750 --> 00:00:58.550 When Felicia moves in, you have to clean up your act. 00:00:58.550 --> 00:01:00.820 Enjoy your meal. ♪ Whoa ♪ 00:01:00.820 --> 00:01:03.820 ♪ I feel good ♪ 00:01:03.820 --> 00:01:07.490 ♪ I knew that I would, now ♪ 00:01:07.490 --> 00:01:10.630 ♪ I feel good ♪ 00:01:10.630 --> 00:01:13.660 ♪ I knew that I would, now ♪ 00:01:13.670 --> 00:01:17.870 ♪ So good, so good ♪ 00:01:17.870 --> 00:01:19.870 ♪ I got you ♪ 00:01:19.870 --> 00:01:23.970 ♪ Whoa, I feel nice ♪ 00:01:23.980 --> 00:01:26.840 ♪ Like sugar and spice ♪ 00:01:26.850 --> 00:01:30.550 ♪ I feel nice ♪ 00:01:30.550 --> 00:01:34.550 ♪ Like sugar and spice ♪ 00:01:34.550 --> 00:01:37.690 ♪ So nice, so nice ♪ 00:01:37.690 --> 00:01:40.190 ♪ I got you ♪ 00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:51.100 ♪ When I hold you in my arms ♪♪ 00:01:51.100 --> 00:01:54.100 I have a very big surprise for you. 00:01:54.110 --> 00:01:56.610 A very big surprise. 00:01:56.610 --> 00:02:01.280 I know you're dying to know, but I'm not gonna tell you, no matter how much you beg. 00:02:01.280 --> 00:02:04.750 Nope. Not even a hint. 00:02:14.960 --> 00:02:17.560 Wow! This is incredible, Jerry! 00:02:17.560 --> 00:02:20.260 What's this all about? 00:02:20.270 --> 00:02:25.070 Felicia, from the first moment I met you, 00:02:25.070 --> 00:02:28.200 [ Groans ] I-- I mean, uh-- 00:02:28.210 --> 00:02:31.340 From the first moment I saw you, I, uh-- 00:02:31.340 --> 00:02:34.240 Uh, wh-what I'm trying to say, Felicia, is-- 00:02:34.250 --> 00:02:37.050 You're lookin' sick all of a sudden. Are you all right? 00:02:37.050 --> 00:02:39.620 Motion sickness. Oh. 00:02:39.620 --> 00:02:42.350 The reason why I brought you out here is... 00:02:42.350 --> 00:02:45.020 to tell you, to say-- 00:02:45.020 --> 00:02:47.220 Mm-hmm. 00:02:47.230 --> 00:02:49.590 to ask, communicate-- 00:02:49.600 --> 00:02:52.860 Would you just spit it out? 00:02:52.860 --> 00:02:57.270 [ Gasping ] Oh, I'm sorry, baby! I didn't mean it! 00:02:57.270 --> 00:03:00.070 Don't cover me in puke and try and call me "baby." 00:03:00.070 --> 00:03:02.610 I'll make it up to you, Felicia! 00:03:02.610 --> 00:03:05.810 Will you marry me? No! 00:03:05.810 --> 00:03:09.080 Oh, thank you! You've made me the happiest-- What? 00:03:09.080 --> 00:03:12.020 I met someone. Met someone? 00:03:12.020 --> 00:03:14.990 Andre and I have all the things that we don't, Jerry. 00:03:14.990 --> 00:03:16.990 Andre? I introduced you once. 00:03:16.990 --> 00:03:19.290 He details my BMW. 00:03:19.290 --> 00:03:24.030 You dump me for a guy who goes to work in a jumpsuit and rubber boots? 00:03:24.030 --> 00:03:28.870 Andre and I connect on a level that you and I just never could. 00:03:28.870 --> 00:03:31.900 Jerry, I'm so sorry. 00:03:42.680 --> 00:03:46.950 [ Sighs ] She dumped us, Rocco. 00:03:46.950 --> 00:03:50.820 I know you don't care. You can lick your own balls. [ Chuckles ] 00:03:52.820 --> 00:03:54.690 [ Sighs ] 00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:08.670 [ Beeping ] 00:04:25.190 --> 00:04:27.290 [ Ringing ] 00:04:27.290 --> 00:04:30.090 [ Answering Machine Clicking ] [ Jerry On Tape ] I'm not in. 00:04:30.100 --> 00:04:33.160 Leave a message or don't leave a message. Whatever. 00:04:33.170 --> 00:04:35.730 [ Man ] Hello, Jerry. It's me. Pick up. 00:04:35.730 --> 00:04:37.930 Dude, I know you're there. 00:04:37.940 --> 00:04:40.440 Quit acting like a little kid. You're so immature! 00:04:40.440 --> 00:04:42.910 Pick up now or I'm gonna fart into the phone. 00:04:45.280 --> 00:04:48.040 Leave me alone. I'm wallowing in self-pity. 00:04:48.050 --> 00:04:51.050 It's time to rejoin the living, Jerry. We're going out tonight. 00:04:51.050 --> 00:04:53.880 - Not interested. - Saddle up the old baloney pony. 00:04:53.890 --> 00:04:58.050 It's Operation Storm the Foxholes. China Club, 2100 hours. 00:04:58.060 --> 00:05:00.860 Our objective? Penetrate the enemy. 00:05:00.860 --> 00:05:03.890 Stop calling me. I'm not going. This is nonnegotiable. 00:05:03.900 --> 00:05:06.460 Either meet me tonight or I'm gonna ask out your sister. 00:05:06.470 --> 00:05:09.430 She'll go out with me 'cause she's freaky like that. We both know her. 00:05:09.430 --> 00:05:12.370 Ragoni, hang up. The toilet's stuffed up. I got a code-three emergency. 00:05:12.370 --> 00:05:14.900 Buddy, I gotta go. See you. 00:05:23.380 --> 00:05:26.080 Thanks for fitting me in today, Daniel. 00:05:26.080 --> 00:05:28.350 I'm so tight. 00:05:38.930 --> 00:05:41.900 Go really deep this time. 00:05:53.140 --> 00:05:55.310 Give it to me harder. 00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:00.850 Harder. 00:06:02.850 --> 00:06:05.290 Harder. 00:06:11.830 --> 00:06:13.900 Harder. 00:06:16.100 --> 00:06:19.270 - [ Muscles Cracking ] - Come on, Daniel. 00:06:19.270 --> 00:06:23.470 Is this the best you can do? [ Sighs, Panting ] 00:06:25.840 --> 00:06:28.880 Ragoni, what the hell are you doing? [ Screams ] 00:06:28.880 --> 00:06:31.210 I was just warmin' her up for you! 00:06:32.280 --> 00:06:35.320 ♪♪ [ Dance ] 00:06:35.320 --> 00:06:37.890 ♪♪ [ Continues ] 00:06:37.890 --> 00:06:41.890 Marshall, is that you? Nick! Hey! 00:06:41.890 --> 00:06:44.830 Long time no see! How you doin'? 00:06:44.830 --> 00:06:47.530 You've got to give me the name of your new escort service. 00:06:47.530 --> 00:06:51.230 Oh, cut it out, Nick. This is my fiancée, Sheri. 00:06:51.240 --> 00:06:54.300 She ain't no escort skank. She and I are in love. 00:06:54.310 --> 00:06:56.470 That's right. 00:06:56.470 --> 00:07:00.110 Marshall here's the most interesting and exciting man I've ever met. 00:07:00.110 --> 00:07:04.310 - And he's a wonderful lover. - Oh, I get it. She's retarded. 00:07:04.320 --> 00:07:08.550 She's one of the sharpest bartenders at Hooters. Oh, Marshy! 00:07:08.550 --> 00:07:12.390 Excuse me, fellas. I'm gonna go trim the landing strip. 00:07:12.390 --> 00:07:16.190 Ooh! And classy too. 00:07:16.190 --> 00:07:20.530 We met on a cruise. There's just something about the ocean air, the sun. 00:07:20.530 --> 00:07:24.330 It really makes it easy to meet people. We connected right away. 00:07:24.340 --> 00:07:27.140 Very first night. With her? 00:07:27.140 --> 00:07:29.610 Very first night? Yeah! 00:07:29.610 --> 00:07:33.510 And there are dozens of women just as friendly as her on board. 00:07:33.510 --> 00:07:36.910 Dude, I gotta tell you, whatever you're doing, take a week off... 00:07:36.920 --> 00:07:39.180 and get yourself on one of those boats. 00:07:39.180 --> 00:07:43.550 There was a line at the can. Honey, can we skip dinner? 00:07:43.560 --> 00:07:47.560 You look so hot, you got me in the mood for take-out in bed. 00:07:47.560 --> 00:07:50.960 [ Both Moaning ] 00:07:50.960 --> 00:07:53.960 Tongue. 00:07:57.230 --> 00:07:59.500 - Ooh! - Wow! 00:08:06.640 --> 00:08:09.080 Wasn't that crazy Marshall Geller, 00:08:09.080 --> 00:08:12.080 the guy who used to work in our high school cafeteria? 00:08:12.080 --> 00:08:14.520 Nope. That was crazy Marshall Geller, 00:08:14.520 --> 00:08:16.590 my new personal hero. 00:08:16.590 --> 00:08:18.990 Dude, let's bolt. 00:08:18.990 --> 00:08:22.060 Hanging around some stupid bar is no place to meet women. 00:08:22.060 --> 00:08:25.190 What are you talkin' about? You've been begging me to come here for months. 00:08:25.200 --> 00:08:27.360 Jerry, buddy, 00:08:27.370 --> 00:08:29.370 trust me. 00:08:29.370 --> 00:08:33.270 I have seen the light. ♪ Come on, gettin' on down ♪ 00:08:33.270 --> 00:08:35.570 ♪ Get on down ♪ 00:08:35.570 --> 00:08:37.640 ♪ Get on, get on down ♪ 00:08:37.640 --> 00:08:40.980 ♪ Get on down, come on Go, go down ♪ 00:08:40.980 --> 00:08:44.010 ♪ Get on down ♪ 00:08:44.020 --> 00:08:47.320 ♪ Go, go down Get on down, come on ♪ 00:08:47.320 --> 00:08:49.990 ♪ Go, go down ♪♪ 00:08:52.490 --> 00:08:54.560 [ Mutters ] 00:09:02.170 --> 00:09:04.630 Aw, son of a bitch! [ Horn Honks ] 00:09:04.640 --> 00:09:07.170 That was my space! Fuck you! 00:09:07.170 --> 00:09:09.640 Fuck you right back, buddy. Nick, back off. 00:09:09.640 --> 00:09:12.140 I don't want to see an out-of-shape slob get his butt kicked. 00:09:12.140 --> 00:09:14.140 He ain't that out of shape. I'm talkin' about you! 00:09:14.150 --> 00:09:17.350 You break a sweat changing your shoes. Oh, stop. Bite me! 00:09:17.350 --> 00:09:19.320 - Blow me! - Kiss my ass! 00:09:19.320 --> 00:09:21.520 - Fuck your mother! - Oh, yeah? 00:09:21.520 --> 00:09:24.020 No one would want to fuck my mother 'cause she's too ugly! 00:09:24.020 --> 00:09:26.290 Think I lost that one. Oh, yeah. 00:09:28.760 --> 00:09:33.630 Okay, it's the seven-day, six-night fun in the sun singles package... 00:09:33.630 --> 00:09:36.330 with the standard three-to-one female-to-male ratio. 00:09:36.330 --> 00:09:40.240 Whoo-hoo-hoo! Just as the doctor ordered, right, buddy? 00:09:40.240 --> 00:09:42.770 I don't know, Nick. I don't think I'm ready for this. 00:09:42.770 --> 00:09:45.710 Come on! It's been six months! 00:09:45.710 --> 00:09:49.650 I don't like the sun, and I get seasick. 00:09:49.650 --> 00:09:52.620 - Hmm. - I don't know what to say to strange women. 00:09:52.620 --> 00:09:55.390 We're not going for the discourse. We're going for the intercourse! 00:09:55.390 --> 00:09:59.760 Sex! That's all you ever think about! Sex, sex, sex, sex! 00:09:59.760 --> 00:10:01.690 - We'll take it. - Ha-ha-ha! 00:10:01.690 --> 00:10:03.760 There you go. Excellent. 00:10:05.700 --> 00:10:08.230 Oh, Larry. You're still here. 00:10:08.230 --> 00:10:10.770 Mm-hmm. Your mother died. 00:10:10.770 --> 00:10:14.200 - What? When? - This morning. 00:10:14.210 --> 00:10:17.340 I'm sorry. I thought you got my Post-it. 00:10:17.340 --> 00:10:19.480 [ Larry ] Okay, thanks, Michael. 00:10:19.480 --> 00:10:23.180 All right. Gentlemen, I might want you to consider this stateroom right here. 00:10:23.180 --> 00:10:26.350 It's a little bit larger-- 00:10:30.320 --> 00:10:34.290 Um, would you excuse me for just a moment? 00:10:34.290 --> 00:10:36.230 Brian, help! [ Sobbing ] 00:10:36.230 --> 00:10:40.060 [ Bawling ] Mama! 00:10:40.070 --> 00:10:42.730 [ Crying Continues ] Oh, God! 00:10:42.730 --> 00:10:45.400 - You! - Fuck you, pal! 00:10:45.400 --> 00:10:48.140 - Fuck you back. - Fuck your mother! - Oh, yeah? 00:10:48.140 --> 00:10:51.310 - No one would fuck my mother 'cause she's too ugly! - We've been through this! 00:10:51.310 --> 00:10:56.310 - Excuse me. What seems to be the problem here? - This guy-- pecker face. 00:10:56.310 --> 00:10:59.380 This guy's a jerk. All right, Brian. You know what? Enough. 00:10:59.380 --> 00:11:02.650 Let me handle this. Check on the ski packages. Yeah. 00:11:02.650 --> 00:11:06.120 Over near the Maui getaways. Remember? Since the changeover? 00:11:06.120 --> 00:11:09.460 Yeah, I got 'em. I am so sorry. 00:11:09.460 --> 00:11:12.500 Brian's had a little problem with the-- and the-- 00:11:12.500 --> 00:11:14.500 and the-- and the-- 00:11:14.500 --> 00:11:17.670 Oh. Yeah, bad news. 00:11:17.670 --> 00:11:22.110 But now he's doing fine. He's doing a lot of great work with unwed teenage mothers. 00:11:22.110 --> 00:11:25.710 [ Chuckles ] So-- All right. 00:11:25.710 --> 00:11:27.880 [ Clears Throat ] Let's see. 00:11:27.880 --> 00:11:31.180 Seven-day, six-night vacation cruise. Is that correct? 00:11:31.180 --> 00:11:33.150 That's the one, yeah. Right. 00:11:33.150 --> 00:11:35.350 Yeah. Right. 00:11:35.350 --> 00:11:37.620 Okay. 00:11:41.460 --> 00:11:43.730 You guys are set, gentlemen. 00:11:43.730 --> 00:11:47.830 I think you'll have a very good time. Please enjoy your vacation. 00:11:47.830 --> 00:11:50.500 Thank you very much. And you should probably do something about that guy. 00:11:50.500 --> 00:11:54.170 Don't worry. I've already taken care of it. Good. 00:11:54.170 --> 00:11:57.340 And hey, I'm a letter writer. 00:11:57.340 --> 00:12:00.580 Duly noted. All right. 00:12:03.910 --> 00:12:06.880 Bye-bye, now. 00:12:06.890 --> 00:12:09.320 I'm too upset to work ski packages. 00:12:09.320 --> 00:12:11.590 I can't believe you took care of them. 00:12:11.590 --> 00:12:14.190 I took care of them, all right. 00:12:14.190 --> 00:12:17.530 'Cause no one calls my little pecker a pecker. 00:12:17.530 --> 00:12:19.730 Huh? Yeah. 00:12:19.730 --> 00:12:21.530 Yeah. [ Giggling ] 00:12:28.840 --> 00:12:32.910 Wow! Look at the size of that thing! 00:12:32.910 --> 00:12:36.180 And just think-- it's filled with available women. 00:12:36.180 --> 00:12:38.880 Yeah, and here's the beauty part of the whole thing. 00:12:38.880 --> 00:12:41.680 They can't get away from us. We'll be in the middle of the ocean. 00:12:41.690 --> 00:12:44.590 They can try, but they'll drown or get eaten by sharks. 00:12:44.590 --> 00:12:47.520 It's perfect! 00:12:47.530 --> 00:12:50.930 You know, sometimes I think there's something seriously wrong with you. 00:12:50.930 --> 00:12:54.500 I can live with that. [ Guffawing ] 00:12:54.500 --> 00:12:57.730 Excuse me. Can I ask you something? Yes. 00:12:57.740 --> 00:13:00.970 You board everybody on this ship, right? Yes, sir. 00:13:00.970 --> 00:13:03.810 Let me ask you a question, guy-to-guy. 00:13:03.810 --> 00:13:07.940 Is there a lot of sweet ass on this ship? I'm sure you'll be very happy. 00:13:07.950 --> 00:13:09.910 Yes! Hear that, Jer? Hey, hey! 00:13:09.910 --> 00:13:12.750 All righty! Whoo! 00:13:12.750 --> 00:13:16.690 A boat filled with hot, beautiful women! 00:13:16.690 --> 00:13:20.460 Yes! Awesome, awesome awesome! 00:13:20.460 --> 00:13:22.860 Can't you just feel the sexy, lovely creatures... 00:13:22.860 --> 00:13:24.930 boarding this love boat as we speak? 00:13:24.930 --> 00:13:27.260 Watch out! I'm comin '! ♪ No, not, no, not ba 00:13:27.270 --> 00:13:29.470 ♪ Bee-ba, ba-ba, bee-ba ♪♪ 00:13:29.470 --> 00:13:33.500 Yeah, yeah. Whoo! Nick, you're right! This is great! 00:13:33.500 --> 00:13:35.810 Yeah, you know! 00:13:35.810 --> 00:13:37.940 [ Nick Yells ] Hey, what's up? 00:13:37.940 --> 00:13:39.940 How you doin'? Ooh! 00:13:39.940 --> 00:13:42.980 Yeah! All right! 00:13:42.980 --> 00:13:45.380 Friendly crowd, huh? Oh, yeah. 00:13:45.380 --> 00:13:48.250 Don't you ever doubt me! 00:13:56.930 --> 00:13:59.330 What the hell was that? 00:13:59.330 --> 00:14:02.830 Well, uh-- Onboard entertainment. 00:14:02.830 --> 00:14:05.970 You know? I bet Cirque du Soleil's here, like Vegas! 00:14:05.970 --> 00:14:08.900 Oh, cool. Right? 00:14:08.910 --> 00:14:10.910 [ Sighs ] 00:14:10.910 --> 00:14:12.980 Hey! How are ya? 00:14:19.520 --> 00:14:22.920 There it is-- stateroom 211. 00:14:22.920 --> 00:14:26.320 The number that will be on everyone's lips by the end of the trip. 00:14:30.360 --> 00:14:32.430 Let's do it. 00:14:34.670 --> 00:14:37.330 That's weird. 00:14:37.340 --> 00:14:41.400 Only one bed. Oh, I know why. 00:14:41.410 --> 00:14:45.880 'Cause we're gonna be having so much sex, one guy's always gonna be sleeping out. 00:14:45.880 --> 00:14:50.450 Yeah, right. You better hope that couch is more comfortable than it looks. 00:14:51.650 --> 00:14:53.680 There's a mirror on the ceiling. 00:14:55.720 --> 00:14:58.790 Excelente. That way the babes can watch me... 00:14:58.790 --> 00:15:03.630 get my freak on! ♪♪ [ Vocalizing ] 00:15:03.630 --> 00:15:06.730 Check this out, Jer. Four racquetball courts. Hey! 00:15:06.730 --> 00:15:08.730 Nine cocktail lounges. Ooh. 00:15:08.730 --> 00:15:11.800 A casino. Six and eights are running mates! 00:15:11.800 --> 00:15:16.840 A video arcade. Onboard chest-waxing salon. 00:15:16.840 --> 00:15:19.910 Chest waxing? Yeah, of course. 00:15:19.910 --> 00:15:22.480 For swimmin'. Let me see that. 00:15:25.620 --> 00:15:29.820 "Club Socrates wants you to know you'll be treated like a queen." 00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:34.460 You mean "king." Queen. Says so right there. 00:15:36.730 --> 00:15:39.930 That's weird. Hmm. 00:15:39.930 --> 00:15:42.000 [ Knocking ] 00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:44.370 Hello. 00:15:44.370 --> 00:15:48.640 Ring, ring, ring. Everybody conga! 00:15:48.640 --> 00:15:50.640 ♪♪ [ Radio: Salsa ] ♪♪ [ Humming ] 00:15:50.640 --> 00:15:54.440 ♪ Everybody party Party, party, party ♪ 00:15:54.450 --> 00:15:57.610 ♪ 5:00 today ♪ Yeah, baby! 00:15:57.620 --> 00:16:01.480 I told you, Jer. This boat is wild! 00:16:01.490 --> 00:16:04.420 Where's the party, sweet thing? Stateroom 209. 00:16:04.420 --> 00:16:07.760 Ooh! Stateroom 209. Hey! 00:16:07.760 --> 00:16:12.400 [ Low Voice ] It's casual. [ Purring ] 00:16:15.030 --> 00:16:18.800 [ Horn Blowing ] 00:16:20.070 --> 00:16:23.610 To fresh scratches on our backs. 00:16:23.610 --> 00:16:27.540 - Scotch and soda, please. - Coming right up, sir. 00:16:27.550 --> 00:16:29.810 ♪♪ [ Woman Singing ] 00:16:29.810 --> 00:16:32.420 Oh, please! 00:16:32.420 --> 00:16:35.680 Why do they always have to play Liza? 00:16:35.690 --> 00:16:38.650 I don't know. I kind of like Liza with a "Z." 00:16:38.660 --> 00:16:41.460 Yeah, she's kinda cool for makin' out. 00:16:41.460 --> 00:16:45.530 I prefer Johnny Mathis myself. 00:16:45.530 --> 00:16:48.960 Yeah, if you're gonna make out with a dude. 00:16:51.600 --> 00:16:55.600 That is very funny. 00:16:55.610 --> 00:16:59.110 [ Sighs ] My name is Faversham. Lloyd Faversham. 00:16:59.110 --> 00:17:01.510 Nick Ragoni. Nick. 00:17:01.510 --> 00:17:03.480 Jerry. It's your first cruise? 00:17:03.480 --> 00:17:05.650 No, my third. And you? 00:17:05.650 --> 00:17:08.550 - Number one. - Oh. 00:17:08.550 --> 00:17:11.090 Then you are going to positively adore it. 00:17:11.090 --> 00:17:15.760 - It is one wild, decadent week. - That's why we're here, right? 00:17:15.760 --> 00:17:17.860 All-night parties. Excellent. 00:17:17.860 --> 00:17:21.130 - Midnight skinny-dipping. - Sign me up! 00:17:21.130 --> 00:17:23.870 And if you're into it, lots of sex, 00:17:23.870 --> 00:17:26.140 sex, sex. 00:17:26.140 --> 00:17:28.770 You hear that, Jer? All the sex a man could want. 00:17:28.770 --> 00:17:32.710 Well, then you must visit the hole-in-one room. 00:17:32.710 --> 00:17:35.680 Oh, they have an onboard driving range. 00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:40.050 Some of the chaps down there do swing some very large clubs. 00:17:40.050 --> 00:17:43.820 Hmm. You two have an open relationship? 00:17:43.820 --> 00:17:46.560 Open? What do you mean by "open relationship"? 00:17:46.560 --> 00:17:48.720 I mean, do you date? 00:17:48.730 --> 00:17:51.690 Of course we date. That's why we're here. Yeah! 00:17:51.700 --> 00:17:56.530 That's absolutely wonderful. We must get together sometime, go for a midnight swim. 00:17:56.530 --> 00:17:59.070 Do whatever feels right. 00:17:59.070 --> 00:18:03.010 That is what a gay cruise is all about. 00:18:03.010 --> 00:18:06.210 ♪♪ [ Liza Minnelli Continues Singing ] 00:18:06.210 --> 00:18:08.840 I see. 00:18:08.850 --> 00:18:10.980 Hear that, Jerry? 00:18:10.980 --> 00:18:14.780 We can do whatever we want, whatever feels right. 00:18:14.790 --> 00:18:18.650 That's what a gay cruise is all about. 00:18:18.660 --> 00:18:21.720 Whatever we want to do, we can do it... 00:18:21.730 --> 00:18:23.990 because it's a gay cruise. 00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:28.760 It's a gay cruise, Jerry! Not a bi cruise! It's a gay cruise! 00:18:28.770 --> 00:18:31.870 Capital "G," capital "A," capital "Y-M-C-A"... 00:18:31.870 --> 00:18:34.040 gay cruise, Jerry! 00:18:34.040 --> 00:18:36.540 Damn, damn, damn! 00:18:36.540 --> 00:18:39.680 I wonder how many other people made the same mistake I did. 00:18:41.240 --> 00:18:43.310 No one! Shit! 00:18:43.310 --> 00:18:46.750 Jerry! Don't worry, buddy! 00:18:46.750 --> 00:18:51.150 I'm bringing you back home. I'm gonna get you out of here. Let's go! 00:18:53.120 --> 00:18:55.590 Help! Help! Somebody help us! 00:18:55.590 --> 00:18:57.930 We're straight! 00:18:57.930 --> 00:19:01.700 We're straight! Hey! Nick! 00:19:01.700 --> 00:19:05.300 Stop acting like a jerk! We'll figure this out. 00:19:05.300 --> 00:19:09.070 - What are we gonna do? We gotta get off this boat. - Ooh! 00:19:09.070 --> 00:19:12.040 We gotta get off! Excuse me, sir. You know where we can get off real quick? 00:19:12.040 --> 00:19:15.580 Try the hole-in-one room. I'm starting to think that's not a real driving range. 00:19:15.580 --> 00:19:17.580 In fact, I'm convinced of it. 00:19:17.580 --> 00:19:20.120 Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it! 00:19:20.120 --> 00:19:22.720 We're trapped like rats! 00:19:25.890 --> 00:19:27.720 What? 00:19:27.730 --> 00:19:30.260 I checked our itinerary. 00:19:30.260 --> 00:19:33.230 We don't dock for four days. 00:19:33.230 --> 00:19:37.800 - Why do I ever listen to you? - Are you implying that this is somehow my fault? 00:19:37.800 --> 00:19:40.300 Oh, I'm not implying it. I'm saying it. 00:19:40.300 --> 00:19:43.940 If you hadn't insulted that travel agent, none of this would've happened! 00:19:43.940 --> 00:19:46.840 Maybe there's another explanation. 00:19:46.840 --> 00:19:49.040 Yeah? What? 00:19:49.050 --> 00:19:52.210 Maybe that travel agent thought he was doing you a favor... 00:19:52.220 --> 00:19:55.680 because, uh, you know-- 00:19:55.690 --> 00:19:59.050 - Because what? - Because you're a little femme, that's why! 00:19:59.060 --> 00:20:01.860 You always dress real nice, you're in shape, you're neat! 00:20:01.860 --> 00:20:04.930 Oh, and you use those pastel-colored balls at the bowling alley. 00:20:04.930 --> 00:20:08.300 Don't think that got past me! 00:20:10.930 --> 00:20:14.300 You're an idiot, a thickheaded moron! 00:20:14.310 --> 00:20:17.370 Felicia was right. I should've dumped your ass years ago! 00:20:17.380 --> 00:20:20.210 If you wanted to dump someone's ass years ago, it should've been Felicia's! 00:20:20.210 --> 00:20:22.650 Oh! That chick was Satan's sister. 00:20:22.650 --> 00:20:24.650 Yeah, devil with a "D" cup! 00:20:24.650 --> 00:20:28.780 Felicia was as frosty a bitch as I've ever seen! I'm gonna kill ya! 00:20:28.790 --> 00:20:31.990 I'm gonna kill you! [ Grunting ] 00:20:31.990 --> 00:20:35.690 I knew I heard choo-chi, pom-pom time! 00:20:35.690 --> 00:20:38.860 - Choo-choo-choo-choo! - Don't get the wrong idea! 00:20:38.860 --> 00:20:41.930 Oh, Hector always get the wrong idea. 00:20:41.930 --> 00:20:44.870 That is why he's no longer welcome in the state of Missouri. 00:20:44.870 --> 00:20:47.200 Buddy, you pranced into the wrong cabin. 00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:50.340 My friend and I-- We're not gay. Huh. 00:20:50.340 --> 00:20:54.010 [ Sputters, Laughs ] Ring-ring! Hold the phone. 00:20:54.010 --> 00:20:57.250 - You're telling me you two guys are not gay. - That's right. 00:20:57.250 --> 00:21:01.280 Oh, pull Hector's other leg. It's got bells on it. 00:21:01.290 --> 00:21:03.850 I'm getting out of here. 00:21:05.760 --> 00:21:08.820 Gee, what hasn't gotten into him? 00:21:11.760 --> 00:21:14.030 Out! 00:21:14.030 --> 00:21:15.900 ♪♪ [ Piano ] [ Men ] ♪ Whoa, here he comes ♪ 00:21:15.900 --> 00:21:19.030 ♪ Watch out, boy He'll chew you up ♪ 00:21:19.040 --> 00:21:21.840 ♪ Whoa, here he comes He's a maneater ♪ 00:21:21.840 --> 00:21:24.770 ♪ Whoa, here he comes ♪ 00:21:24.780 --> 00:21:27.010 ♪ Watch out, boy He'll chew you up ♪ 00:21:27.010 --> 00:21:31.010 ♪ Whoa, here he comes He's a maneater ♪ 00:21:31.020 --> 00:21:33.250 ♪ I wouldn't if I were you ♪♪ 00:21:39.260 --> 00:21:41.860 [ Applause ] 00:21:41.860 --> 00:21:45.290 [ Man ] Bachelor Number Two, what's the most unusual place that you ever made love? 00:21:45.300 --> 00:21:49.470 Well, once I did it in a dressing room at International Male. 00:21:49.470 --> 00:21:52.370 Right. And how 'bout you, Bachelor Number Three? 00:21:52.370 --> 00:21:55.270 What's the most unusual place that you ever made love? 00:21:55.270 --> 00:21:59.070 - Inside a woman. - [ Audience Laughing ] 00:21:59.080 --> 00:22:01.080 [ Groans ] 00:22:06.220 --> 00:22:09.950 Hey, who we gotta screw to get a drink around here? 00:22:09.950 --> 00:22:12.860 [ Snickering ] Whoop. 00:22:14.290 --> 00:22:16.360 Oop. 00:22:17.530 --> 00:22:20.400 Ooh. Ooh. Hey, buddy, you okay? 00:22:22.170 --> 00:22:24.030 Do I look gay? 00:22:25.970 --> 00:22:29.300 Never saw an old, gay grandpa before. 00:22:29.310 --> 00:22:32.140 Aah. Whoo-hoo. 00:22:37.980 --> 00:22:40.550 Where are all the gay people at? 00:22:40.550 --> 00:22:42.450 Y'all always supposed to wanna party. 00:22:42.450 --> 00:22:45.490 Oops. Oop. 00:22:46.860 --> 00:22:49.190 Ooh! 00:23:10.150 --> 00:23:12.350 [ Gasps ] 00:23:17.550 --> 00:23:20.590 - Are you okay? - I'm fine! 00:23:32.340 --> 00:23:36.340 [ Thinking ] Men on dates, holding hands, touching, kissing. 00:23:36.340 --> 00:23:39.140 I can't take it. Gotta think. 00:23:39.140 --> 00:23:42.180 Not good at it. Took too much shop in high school. 00:23:43.380 --> 00:23:46.950 [ Helicopter Whirring ] 00:23:48.350 --> 00:23:51.290 Help! Pick me up! 00:23:51.290 --> 00:23:53.990 Get me out of here! 00:23:53.990 --> 00:23:56.530 Hey, drop down a ladder! 00:23:56.530 --> 00:23:58.930 I like girls! [ Passing Overhead ] 00:23:58.930 --> 00:24:01.900 [ Wailing ] 00:24:08.370 --> 00:24:13.080 Please! Please come back! 00:24:20.080 --> 00:24:23.250 [ Metal Banging ] [ Helicopter Sputtering ] 00:24:23.250 --> 00:24:25.890 Ohh! 00:24:25.890 --> 00:24:29.020 Oh, my-- [ Crashes Into Water ] 00:24:29.030 --> 00:24:30.890 Jesus! 00:24:39.240 --> 00:24:41.100 Oop. 00:24:49.480 --> 00:24:53.950 Flare gun. I don't know anything about a flare gun. I swear I was here all night. 00:24:53.950 --> 00:24:57.150 A flare gun? I don't know anything about a flare gun. I was here all night. 00:24:57.150 --> 00:24:59.520 Flare gun? I don't know nothing about no stinking flare gun! 00:24:59.520 --> 00:25:01.390 [ Door Opening ] Oh, shit. 00:25:01.390 --> 00:25:05.660 Okay, here we are. 00:25:05.660 --> 00:25:08.630 You should go change now. Where's your robe? 00:25:09.630 --> 00:25:12.030 Okay. 00:25:12.040 --> 00:25:15.270 Okay, I give up! I give up! I did it! 00:25:15.270 --> 00:25:19.270 Hey, Jer. How was your evening? 00:25:19.280 --> 00:25:23.350 Hi. Your friend had a little too much to drink. 00:25:23.350 --> 00:25:25.350 She thinks I'm drunk. 00:25:25.350 --> 00:25:28.650 Ah, Nicky, Nicky! All right, all right. 00:25:28.650 --> 00:25:31.450 I fell in the pool! Oh! Ooh! Ooh! 00:25:31.460 --> 00:25:34.420 [ Nick ] Ah, you're sitting on my balls! 00:25:34.430 --> 00:25:36.690 Okay, um, I'm gonna leave you two alone. 00:25:36.690 --> 00:25:39.130 Good night. Oh, you're gettin' me all wet. 00:25:39.130 --> 00:25:41.130 [ Nick Groans ] 00:25:46.170 --> 00:25:49.710 Jerry! Wake up! I'm starvin'. 00:25:49.710 --> 00:25:53.480 Come on, Jerry. [ Snoring ] 00:25:53.480 --> 00:25:57.110 Dude, don't make me go up there by myself. Get up. 00:25:57.110 --> 00:25:59.180 Jerry! 00:25:59.180 --> 00:26:02.680 Screw it. What am I afraid of? [ Snoring ] 00:26:02.690 --> 00:26:05.190 How gay could a buffet be? 00:26:05.190 --> 00:26:08.420 ♪♪ [ Instrumental ] 00:26:35.420 --> 00:26:37.620 Is this seat taken? Actually-- 00:26:37.620 --> 00:26:41.190 I hate dining alone. Bet you feel the same way too. I'm okay with it. 00:26:41.190 --> 00:26:45.430 I see you took the omelette, the waffles and the flapjacks. 00:26:45.430 --> 00:26:47.530 Hungry little man, aren't you? 00:26:47.530 --> 00:26:51.270 Would you care for a bite of my sausage? 00:26:51.270 --> 00:26:55.040 In England, we call them bangers. Eww! 00:26:55.040 --> 00:26:58.140 Captain, could you come over here a minute, please? 00:26:58.140 --> 00:27:01.040 Captain, there's a small craft off the starboard bow... 00:27:01.050 --> 00:27:04.050 that's trying to get our attention. [ Grunts ] 00:27:04.050 --> 00:27:07.150 [ All Yelling ] Help! Help! 00:27:07.150 --> 00:27:10.650 Somebody save us! Somebody save us! Help! 00:27:12.620 --> 00:27:15.290 Jesus! Sound the alarm. 00:27:15.290 --> 00:27:18.560 All hands on dick. Deck. 00:27:18.560 --> 00:27:20.560 Deck! 00:27:27.740 --> 00:27:29.810 Hot tea? 00:27:31.770 --> 00:27:34.340 Why don't you have a seat? 00:27:34.340 --> 00:27:36.210 For you. 00:27:44.490 --> 00:27:46.690 Oh, my God! 00:27:50.130 --> 00:27:53.100 - I must be dreaming. Somebody pinch me. - Sure. My pleasure. 00:27:53.100 --> 00:27:56.100 Ow! I didn't say on my ass! 00:27:56.100 --> 00:27:59.330 You didn't not say it. I didn't think I had to specify. 00:27:59.340 --> 00:28:02.270 Jesus. 00:28:05.740 --> 00:28:09.310 Nick, Nick! You gotta help me out. 00:28:09.310 --> 00:28:11.880 Remember that woman that dragged me to the room last night? 00:28:11.880 --> 00:28:15.620 I can't get her off my mind. She kissed me. Technically, it was mouth-to-mouth. 00:28:15.620 --> 00:28:20.260 But it was fabulous. I mean, I gotta find her. I was so wasted la-- 00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:25.630 Who are they? The answer to our prayers, Jerry. 00:28:25.630 --> 00:28:28.260 Twelve of the most gorgeous creatures I've ever seen. 00:28:28.270 --> 00:28:30.500 Ooh. But I'm not greedy. 00:28:30.500 --> 00:28:33.240 I'll share. Go ahead. 00:28:33.240 --> 00:28:36.470 Pick two. 00:28:36.470 --> 00:28:39.240 No. This girl was fabulous. 00:28:39.240 --> 00:28:41.340 She's special. I gotta find her. 00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:49.180 Ooh! She's special, special. 00:28:57.330 --> 00:28:59.330 Hello. 00:28:59.330 --> 00:29:01.730 H-H-Hi. 00:29:01.730 --> 00:29:05.570 Who are you? I'm Nick Ragoni, the most grateful man on the planet. 00:29:05.570 --> 00:29:08.770 I'm Inga. Very pleasurable to meet you. 00:29:08.770 --> 00:29:11.870 How'd you all get here? 00:29:11.880 --> 00:29:16.380 We are the Swedish suntanning team on our way to the Hawaiian Tropics competition in bars. 00:29:16.380 --> 00:29:18.750 Some bonehead shot down our helicopter. 00:29:18.750 --> 00:29:21.520 Coach had to make water landing. 00:29:21.520 --> 00:29:24.850 I didn't think this was gonna happen until I died and went to heaven. 00:29:24.860 --> 00:29:28.490 It's lucky thing we were picked up by a boat full of homo boys. 00:29:28.490 --> 00:29:31.790 It would be terrible to have straight men hassling and ogling us... 00:29:31.800 --> 00:29:35.360 while we're trying to work on our even tan lines. 00:29:36.570 --> 00:29:38.800 Oh, you're so right. 00:29:38.800 --> 00:29:41.700 Lucky I'm gay! 00:29:41.710 --> 00:29:45.970 I'm super gay. I'm mega-- I'm gay-normous! 00:29:45.980 --> 00:29:49.210 I'm so gay. 00:29:49.210 --> 00:29:53.850 But that's good, 'cause now you guys can all feel comfortable... 00:29:53.850 --> 00:29:58.420 in front of me and take off your tops and stuff. 00:29:58.420 --> 00:30:01.360 And I can do this for you. 00:30:01.360 --> 00:30:04.590 I can put tanning oils and creamy lotions... 00:30:04.600 --> 00:30:08.260 all over your luscious bodies! 00:30:08.270 --> 00:30:10.930 And there won't be any worries from you because... 00:30:10.930 --> 00:30:15.400 I'm so gay! [ Laughs ] 00:30:15.410 --> 00:30:18.510 ♪ When you need something Don't stop, don't stop ♪ [ Nick Moaning ] 00:30:18.510 --> 00:30:21.910 Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby! Yeah, baby! 00:30:21.910 --> 00:30:24.650 Almost finished! Yeah! 00:30:24.650 --> 00:30:28.320 [ Screaming ] 00:30:28.320 --> 00:30:30.550 Okay, let's do the back. 00:30:30.550 --> 00:30:34.790 The first time I think I realized I was gay... 00:30:34.790 --> 00:30:38.030 was when I was around 12, in scouts. 00:30:38.030 --> 00:30:41.360 I really liked putting on that kerchief. 00:30:41.370 --> 00:30:43.630 In fact, it was the only part I liked about it. 00:30:43.630 --> 00:30:45.770 That and the nude swimming. 00:30:45.770 --> 00:30:50.270 Anyway, I hope you gals all feel comfortable around me! 00:30:50.270 --> 00:30:54.780 - [ All ] Ja, Nick. - 'Cause I sure do feel comfortable around you. 00:30:56.810 --> 00:31:00.550 All done! Who's next? How 'bout you, Ursula? 00:31:00.550 --> 00:31:04.790 Ready for your second coat? Uh-oh, these thighs look a little dry. 00:31:04.790 --> 00:31:07.660 There we go. [ Laughing ] 00:31:09.290 --> 00:31:12.290 - What do you want? - [ Ferocious Growling ] 00:31:12.300 --> 00:31:14.700 What the hell is that? 00:31:14.700 --> 00:31:17.930 I got this from that dude over there. He's hot. 00:31:17.930 --> 00:31:20.970 You are no gay homo man. 00:31:20.970 --> 00:31:23.910 I am Sonya, coach of tanning team. 00:31:23.910 --> 00:31:26.940 - What? - Quiet! As long as these women are in training, 00:31:26.940 --> 00:31:31.310 there will be no trouser snakes near their hot, luscious po-pos! 00:31:31.320 --> 00:31:34.750 Put me down! Coach of the tanning team. That's ridiculous! 00:31:34.750 --> 00:31:36.950 If I want to talk to any of these ladies, I will, 00:31:36.950 --> 00:31:40.490 and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me! 00:31:40.490 --> 00:31:44.360 - Oh, yeah? - [ Nick Screams, Groans ] 00:31:49.570 --> 00:31:53.740 [ Barks ] What the hell happened to you? 00:31:53.740 --> 00:31:56.370 I died and went to heaven, 00:31:56.370 --> 00:31:59.370 and then some muscle-bound blond dwarf knocked me back down to hell. 00:31:59.380 --> 00:32:02.440 - What? - You know those 12 gorgeous hotties? 00:32:02.450 --> 00:32:06.380 - They got a goddamn bodyguard. - Oh. 00:32:06.380 --> 00:32:10.950 I can take disappointments, Jer, but little Nicky, 00:32:10.950 --> 00:32:14.660 he's already known such heartache in his short life. 00:32:14.660 --> 00:32:17.660 Then I guess all three of us struck out. 00:32:17.660 --> 00:32:20.960 I still can't find that girl. I've looked everywhere. 00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:24.070 You know, 00:32:24.070 --> 00:32:28.570 I've kissed Felicia for four years and never felt anything like I felt last night. 00:32:28.570 --> 00:32:32.040 That girl was special. I gotta find her. 00:32:32.040 --> 00:32:35.080 You're abandoning me? What am I supposed to do? 00:32:36.780 --> 00:32:40.950 It's a luxury cruise. Not everything's gay-oriented. 00:32:40.950 --> 00:32:43.950 [ Man ] No more bets! 00:32:43.950 --> 00:32:45.990 Red three is the winner. 00:32:47.120 --> 00:32:49.790 [ Cackling ] Beautiful. 00:32:49.790 --> 00:32:53.900 Poker. This is gonna be sweet! 00:32:53.900 --> 00:32:56.870 These trouser pilots are no match for a lusty hetero like myself. 00:32:56.870 --> 00:32:59.770 This will be like taking candy from a baby. 00:32:59.770 --> 00:33:02.600 Why is that? Are gay men notoriously bad gamblers? 00:33:02.610 --> 00:33:04.970 Awful! They can't bluff. 00:33:04.980 --> 00:33:08.080 They look at cards, they start giggling. It's terrible. 00:33:08.080 --> 00:33:12.150 Nick, promise me you won't act like a gay-bashing, narrow-minded Neanderthal. 00:33:12.150 --> 00:33:14.150 Buddy, you're talking to me. 00:33:14.150 --> 00:33:17.050 The lady, couple of ducks-- quack, quack-- possible flush. 00:33:17.050 --> 00:33:19.920 Hello, gays-- guys. Mind if I join you? 00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:22.790 Sure thing, gorgeous. 00:33:22.790 --> 00:33:25.690 I can't remember-- does a straight beat a flush? 00:33:25.700 --> 00:33:27.760 [ Cash Register Ringing ] [ Nick ] Damn! 00:33:27.760 --> 00:33:31.670 - I really thought I had that one. - Listen, Nick. 00:33:31.670 --> 00:33:34.540 I don't want you to take offense, but can I give you a piece of advice? 00:33:34.540 --> 00:33:36.600 What? Don't clear your throat. 00:33:36.610 --> 00:33:39.170 What? 00:33:39.180 --> 00:33:42.740 Every time you bluff, you clear your throat. I do? 00:33:42.750 --> 00:33:45.210 - Mm-hmm. - Don't play the cards. 00:33:45.220 --> 00:33:48.780 Play the players. [ Sighs ] 00:33:48.790 --> 00:33:52.950 All right, here we go. Ante up, five in the chute, three-card monte. 00:33:52.960 --> 00:33:55.990 Kings to win. Here we go. Uh, and there's a winner. 00:33:55.990 --> 00:33:58.060 We got a winner. 00:34:09.540 --> 00:34:12.010 Hey, you. 00:34:12.010 --> 00:34:15.610 - [ Whimpers ] - Unbelievable. 00:34:17.650 --> 00:34:19.850 That was embarrassing! 00:34:19.850 --> 00:34:22.850 They offer a pool safety class on board. You should check it out. 00:34:22.850 --> 00:34:24.950 Let me give you a hand. 00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:27.520 I'm Gabriella. 00:34:31.160 --> 00:34:33.630 I'm-- I'm Jerry. 00:34:33.630 --> 00:34:37.170 ♪♪ [ Humming ] 00:34:37.170 --> 00:34:40.030 Oh, boy! 00:34:44.740 --> 00:34:47.080 Hi Hi! 00:34:47.080 --> 00:34:49.680 You like? 00:34:49.680 --> 00:34:51.680 Oh, yeah. 00:34:51.680 --> 00:34:54.580 Oh, the ice cream. Yeah, that's okay. 00:34:54.580 --> 00:34:57.150 Coach would kill me if she knew I broke training, 00:34:57.150 --> 00:34:59.190 but I no can help. 00:34:59.190 --> 00:35:01.290 I am-- What is the word? 00:35:01.290 --> 00:35:03.290 Oral. 00:35:03.290 --> 00:35:05.630 That's the word, 00:35:05.630 --> 00:35:07.860 and what a wonderful word it is. 00:35:07.860 --> 00:35:11.070 I'm so lonely. 00:35:11.070 --> 00:35:13.940 Coach is being very strict about keeping us away from men... 00:35:13.940 --> 00:35:16.570 during tanning season. 00:35:16.570 --> 00:35:18.940 It's too bad you're gay, Nick. Good night. 00:35:18.940 --> 00:35:21.810 Inga, wait, wait, wait. 00:35:21.810 --> 00:35:25.680 I've always been curious about your country. You mind if I ask you something? 00:35:25.680 --> 00:35:28.220 Yeah. What would you like to know about, Nick? 00:35:28.220 --> 00:35:30.320 Our cities, our lakes and rivers, 00:35:30.320 --> 00:35:33.090 our safe and sturdy automobiles? 00:35:33.090 --> 00:35:37.230 I'm a big fan of your cinema. I've rented quite a bit of it. 00:35:37.230 --> 00:35:41.300 I've noticed your people's progressive attitudes towards premarital sex. 00:35:41.300 --> 00:35:44.070 So what I was wondering is, 00:35:44.070 --> 00:35:48.000 theoretically, if my own sexual orientation were to be-- 00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:50.610 If you're asking if I'd sleep with you if you were straight, the answer is ja. 00:35:50.610 --> 00:35:53.070 And? And? Ja means yes, right? And. 00:35:53.080 --> 00:35:55.640 Inga, I have a surprise for you. I'm straight. 00:35:55.650 --> 00:36:00.110 I'm as straight as a Volvo going down an Oslo toll road. 00:36:00.120 --> 00:36:02.280 Oslo is in Norway. 00:36:02.290 --> 00:36:04.850 The point is, we can make love. 00:36:04.850 --> 00:36:07.820 I know that's the best news I've ever heard. 00:36:07.820 --> 00:36:10.990 I'm in cabin 4433. Meet me in five minuten. 00:36:10.990 --> 00:36:14.900 You got it. Five minuten. 00:36:14.900 --> 00:36:17.870 And not a minuten more. 00:36:17.870 --> 00:36:21.740 Hello. Are there any condoms available on the ship? 00:36:24.040 --> 00:36:26.310 [ Knocking ] 00:36:26.310 --> 00:36:28.680 Come in. Door is open. 00:36:29.950 --> 00:36:32.610 Mm-hmm. 00:36:32.620 --> 00:36:35.720 Coach! 00:36:35.720 --> 00:36:38.790 Change in room assignments. You bunk with Pia. 00:36:38.790 --> 00:36:42.090 - But why, Coach? - You cannot be trusted with mini bar. 00:36:42.090 --> 00:36:44.790 You are in training. But, Coach, I eat nothing all day. 00:36:44.790 --> 00:36:47.960 You ate yesterday, ja? [ Loud Slap ] 00:36:47.960 --> 00:36:50.630 Your butt is disgusting. Wait, I'd better double check. 00:36:50.630 --> 00:36:54.300 [ Gasping ] Ja. Disgusting. 00:36:54.300 --> 00:36:57.340 [ Gasping ] Both cheeks. 00:36:57.340 --> 00:37:01.780 Oh, and, and, and. Move it, fatty! 00:37:01.780 --> 00:37:04.650 Knock it off and go to bed. All right, Coach. 00:37:05.980 --> 00:37:08.220 Thank you for lending me your jacket. 00:37:10.190 --> 00:37:13.120 - So what do you do on this ship? - I'm a dance teacher. 00:37:13.120 --> 00:37:15.860 Wow. Teaching dance must be fun. It can be. 00:37:15.860 --> 00:37:18.260 You know, especially on the gay cruises. 00:37:18.260 --> 00:37:21.730 - They're much more fun than the straight ones. - Why is that? 00:37:21.730 --> 00:37:25.370 You go on the straight cruises and all you meet are these... horny creeps. 00:37:25.370 --> 00:37:28.140 Oh. I got a friend like that. 00:37:28.140 --> 00:37:30.140 [ Sighs ] 00:37:30.140 --> 00:37:32.970 I bet men hit on you all the time. 00:37:32.980 --> 00:37:35.180 You've got a hot ass. 00:37:36.980 --> 00:37:40.880 - Excuse me? - Your ass-- it's hot. 00:37:42.280 --> 00:37:44.820 Thanks. 00:37:47.390 --> 00:37:51.760 - Your butt's nothin' to sneeze at either. - Ooh. 00:37:51.760 --> 00:37:55.100 So... you must have a boyfriend. 00:37:55.100 --> 00:37:57.900 No, no, no, no. No boyfriend. Really? 00:37:57.900 --> 00:38:00.840 - Why not? - Because every boyfriend I've ever had... 00:38:00.840 --> 00:38:04.070 has turned out to be a son of a bitch. 00:38:04.070 --> 00:38:08.340 Not every guy's a-- I know what you're thinking. I haven't met the right guy. 00:38:08.340 --> 00:38:12.050 Trust me, honey, I've met every type out there and it's pretty bad. 00:38:12.050 --> 00:38:14.380 Liars, guys with two wives, 00:38:14.380 --> 00:38:18.090 guys with commitment issues, guys with parole issues. 00:38:18.090 --> 00:38:20.460 You name it, I've dated them all, 00:38:20.460 --> 00:38:23.190 which is why I'm so relieved to be on this boat. 00:38:23.190 --> 00:38:25.930 There's not one straight man in sight. 00:38:25.930 --> 00:38:28.230 Excuse me? It's so great. 00:38:28.230 --> 00:38:32.330 I can really be myself. I don't care about makeup, about what I'm wearing. 00:38:32.340 --> 00:38:35.400 If a guy's talking to me because he wants to get into my pants-- 00:38:35.410 --> 00:38:38.270 Gabriella, um-- You know what else? 00:38:38.270 --> 00:38:40.880 Let's say I do get horny. 00:38:40.880 --> 00:38:44.250 Maybe I can even find a gay guy, and he can do me the favor. 00:38:44.250 --> 00:38:46.810 "The favor"? 00:38:46.820 --> 00:38:49.220 How do we say in English? 00:38:49.220 --> 00:38:52.320 Make me scream, make me moan, 00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:55.220 screw my brains out. 00:38:55.230 --> 00:38:57.290 Ooh. 00:38:59.390 --> 00:39:02.360 I don't mean to be a bitch, 00:39:04.170 --> 00:39:08.270 but these staterooms could use a bit more color. 00:39:26.960 --> 00:39:30.420 All right, girls. Time for jumping jacks. 00:39:33.560 --> 00:39:36.560 And one, two, 00:39:36.570 --> 00:39:38.870 three, four, 00:39:38.870 --> 00:39:42.570 five, six, seven, eight-- 00:39:42.570 --> 00:39:45.170 Now we are laying down to sleep, 00:39:45.180 --> 00:39:48.440 our hot, tight bodies the Lord will keep. 00:39:54.520 --> 00:39:57.490 Inga, darling. It's me, Nicky. 00:39:57.490 --> 00:39:59.950 I'm here! 00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:12.070 Oh, Reverend Lindstrom, nej. 00:40:12.070 --> 00:40:15.940 This wouldn't do. What would the bishop say? 00:40:17.910 --> 00:40:20.470 Who's knocking at my drawers? 00:40:22.210 --> 00:40:24.150 - Oh, my-- - [ Cracking ] 00:40:24.150 --> 00:40:26.310 Take Mama downtown, baby! 00:40:29.220 --> 00:40:32.350 Oh, Mama! 00:40:32.360 --> 00:40:36.160 Help me, Jesus! [ Babbling ] 00:40:37.560 --> 00:40:40.290 [ Nick Screaming ] 00:40:40.300 --> 00:40:43.300 Oh! 00:40:46.240 --> 00:40:50.470 [ Nick Screaming ] 00:40:50.470 --> 00:40:53.240 [ Gasping ] 00:40:55.410 --> 00:40:57.280 ♪ She put the lime in the coconut and shake 'em all up ♪ 00:40:57.280 --> 00:41:00.150 - No no no. Yes, yes, yes, yes. - Get off me! 00:41:00.150 --> 00:41:02.980 Oh, why? 00:41:02.990 --> 00:41:05.290 ♪ Put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em all up ♪ [ Coach Giggling ] 00:41:05.290 --> 00:41:07.960 ♪ Put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em all up ♪♪ 00:41:07.960 --> 00:41:11.130 - [ Screams, Grunts ] - What's that? 00:41:11.130 --> 00:41:13.560 It's coming from the coach's room. 00:41:13.560 --> 00:41:16.100 - [ All Gasp ] - [ Sighs ] 00:41:16.100 --> 00:41:19.130 Smokin' sturgeon! Coach's pussy just blew up! 00:41:19.140 --> 00:41:22.900 Was good for me. Ja. 00:41:22.910 --> 00:41:25.210 ♪ Sometimes it's hard to be a woman ♪ 00:41:27.210 --> 00:41:32.150 ♪ Givin' all your love to just one man ♪ 00:41:32.150 --> 00:41:36.250 ♪ You'll have bad times You'll have good times ♪ 00:41:36.250 --> 00:41:39.320 ♪ Doin' things that you don't understand ♪ 00:41:39.320 --> 00:41:42.020 Oh, baby. 00:41:42.030 --> 00:41:45.260 ♪ But if you love him you'll forgive him ♪ 00:41:45.260 --> 00:41:49.930 ♪ Even though he's hard to understand ♪ 00:41:49.930 --> 00:41:52.300 ♪ And if you love him ♪ 00:41:52.300 --> 00:41:54.540 ♪ Oh, be proud of him ♪ 00:41:54.540 --> 00:41:57.710 ♪ 'Cause after all he's just a man ♪ 00:41:58.940 --> 00:42:02.240 ♪ Stand by your man ♪ 00:42:02.250 --> 00:42:04.510 ♪ Give him two arms to cling to ♪ 00:42:04.510 --> 00:42:08.650 ♪ And something warm to come to when the nights are cold and lonely ♪ 00:42:08.650 --> 00:42:10.990 ♪ Stand by your man ♪♪ 00:42:10.990 --> 00:42:14.020 [ Jerry ] I gotta tell you, Nick, she's so great. 00:42:14.020 --> 00:42:18.060 We had so much fun. We talked, we laughed. 00:42:18.060 --> 00:42:21.100 Oh, can you hand me one of those cheese-flavored penises? 00:42:22.460 --> 00:42:25.500 Gabriella's everything I've ever wanted in a woman. 00:42:25.500 --> 00:42:28.440 I even pierced my ear for her. Make sure it's the right ear. 00:42:28.440 --> 00:42:30.670 Of course it's-- 00:42:35.240 --> 00:42:38.580 Yeah, I better look into that. How was your evening? 00:42:38.580 --> 00:42:42.020 Let's just say I had some bad shellfish and leave it at that. 00:42:42.020 --> 00:42:44.390 Hey! Hold on. [ Jerry ] Here she comes. 00:42:44.390 --> 00:42:46.690 Grab my ass. What, are you crazy? 00:42:46.690 --> 00:42:49.720 I told her I was gay. Now, wet your lips and look at me lovingly. 00:42:49.730 --> 00:42:53.730 - I look like a homo to you? - Yes, an out-of-shape one, but we have those too. 00:42:53.730 --> 00:42:56.600 Thank you very much. That's enough. Move it along. Nothing to see here. Bye-bye. 00:42:56.600 --> 00:43:00.270 - What do you want me to do, act like I'm gay-- Ow! - Hi, boys! 00:43:00.270 --> 00:43:03.600 I don't believe you two have formally been introduced. This is my life partner. 00:43:03.610 --> 00:43:07.270 I'm not his life-- Ow! He's a little seasick this morning. 00:43:07.280 --> 00:43:09.680 Maybe he's just a little lovesick. Right! 00:43:09.680 --> 00:43:12.310 [ Screaming ] [ Bone Cracks ] 00:43:12.320 --> 00:43:15.280 - We're into S&M. - Oh, okay. 00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:19.650 Nick, maybe if you feel better later, you would like to come to my new class? 00:43:19.660 --> 00:43:22.120 Yeah? It's dirty dancing. 00:43:22.130 --> 00:43:25.430 Ooh, dirty dancing. Ooh, so taboo. 00:43:25.430 --> 00:43:30.100 What the hell's wrong with you? "He's my life partner!" 00:43:30.100 --> 00:43:33.030 You need to keep an open mind. Nick, hey! 00:43:35.100 --> 00:43:37.810 It's only for a few days. Quit bugging me. 00:43:37.810 --> 00:43:40.540 I'm getting my nuts handed to me on a platter. I wouldn't mind seeing that. 00:43:40.540 --> 00:43:42.240 Don't say it! 00:43:45.280 --> 00:43:48.350 Why not? 'Cause I won't, that's why. 00:43:48.350 --> 00:43:52.420 Be a friend. As a friend, you're a wiener. 00:43:52.420 --> 00:43:56.620 Now buzz off! I'm trying to concentrate on my workout. 00:43:56.630 --> 00:43:59.160 You're not workin' out. 00:44:25.520 --> 00:44:28.620 Nick, if you do me this one favor, I promise you I-- 00:44:28.620 --> 00:44:30.830 Nick! 00:44:30.830 --> 00:44:33.860 Come on. Listen, I'm begging you. 00:44:33.860 --> 00:44:36.560 [ Loud Slap ] [ Man ] Aaah! 00:44:39.870 --> 00:44:44.170 Maybe I'll skip the steam. That's a good idea. 00:44:44.170 --> 00:44:46.870 Hey. Listen. 00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:49.280 After what happened with Felicia, 00:44:49.280 --> 00:44:52.350 I thought I'd never feel this way about a girl again. 00:44:52.350 --> 00:44:55.150 Why are you making such a big deal about this girl? 00:44:55.150 --> 00:44:57.520 She's a classic man hater! No, no, no! 00:44:57.520 --> 00:44:59.720 See, Gabriella doesn't mean it. 00:44:59.720 --> 00:45:03.590 She's just had bad luck with guys she dates because they only wanna have sex with her. 00:45:03.590 --> 00:45:06.190 You know the type. [ Mock Laugh ] 00:45:06.200 --> 00:45:09.430 Don't ever take sides against the guys! 00:45:09.430 --> 00:45:13.700 Nick, I just need a few days to get to know her, 00:45:13.700 --> 00:45:16.240 and then I'll tell her the truth. 00:45:20.140 --> 00:45:22.780 Why are you hiding from that woman? 00:45:22.780 --> 00:45:26.550 Hiding! I'm not hiding. I have a cramp. 00:45:26.550 --> 00:45:29.720 Nick, I'm desperate. What if I offered to pay you? 00:45:29.720 --> 00:45:33.320 Pay me! How dare you? 00:45:33.320 --> 00:45:37.190 You think I'd sacrifice my dignity, my self-esteem, my whole way of life... 00:45:37.190 --> 00:45:39.390 for a few measly dollars? 00:45:39.400 --> 00:45:41.560 No! Five hundred cash? 00:45:41.560 --> 00:45:43.360 I'll do it! 00:45:45.900 --> 00:45:49.170 Come closer. You're too far away. No! 00:45:49.170 --> 00:45:52.670 Hey, hey, hey! Beautiful! Very nice, everyone. I love it. 00:45:54.710 --> 00:45:56.780 Jerry, you're light on your feet. 00:45:56.780 --> 00:45:58.850 Yeah, this whole place is light on its feet. Ow! 00:46:01.920 --> 00:46:04.920 No, Nick. Your body's too stiff. Listen to me. 00:46:04.920 --> 00:46:08.360 Your body, too stiff. I want you to loosen up. Come on. 00:46:08.360 --> 00:46:11.230 There you go. Move it. Then go and dance by yourself. 00:46:11.230 --> 00:46:14.430 And feel the music, Nick. Feel it. 00:46:22.970 --> 00:46:25.840 Feel it. 00:46:29.840 --> 00:46:31.910 Hmm. 00:46:35.750 --> 00:46:37.820 [ Chuckling ] 00:46:46.930 --> 00:46:48.900 Okay, everyone. Change partners. 00:46:55.400 --> 00:46:58.470 Cha-cha, cha-cha-cha. We meet again. 00:46:58.470 --> 00:47:01.880 I hope that's your belt buckle I feel back there. 00:47:01.880 --> 00:47:04.510 You know, from the moment we met, I felt... 00:47:04.510 --> 00:47:06.810 there was an electrical charge between us. 00:47:06.820 --> 00:47:10.250 I think your pacemaker's shortin' out. 00:47:10.250 --> 00:47:13.420 How did you know I like to be humiliated? 00:47:13.420 --> 00:47:16.320 Look, Lloyd, you're barking up the wrong tree here. 00:47:16.330 --> 00:47:19.290 Oh, I know! 00:47:19.300 --> 00:47:21.430 You want to lead. 00:47:21.430 --> 00:47:23.960 Lloyd, I'm not... 00:47:23.970 --> 00:47:26.370 interested. 00:47:26.370 --> 00:47:29.400 That's all right. I'm a patient man. I can wait. 00:47:30.970 --> 00:47:33.370 I'm also very rich. 00:47:33.380 --> 00:47:36.040 You know, I'd like to spoil you, Nick, 00:47:36.050 --> 00:47:39.650 take you places you've never been, 00:47:39.650 --> 00:47:43.020 show you things you've never seen. 00:47:43.020 --> 00:47:45.420 I'd like to-- [ Whispering ] 00:47:46.420 --> 00:47:48.690 Jerry! 00:47:48.690 --> 00:47:50.920 Cha-cha-cha. 00:47:52.330 --> 00:47:54.530 That's it. 00:47:54.530 --> 00:47:57.560 You're a really good dance teacher. Really? 00:47:57.570 --> 00:47:59.570 Yes. It's fun to teach a class like this. 00:47:59.570 --> 00:48:02.800 I always felt too self-conscious to really... 00:48:02.810 --> 00:48:05.010 cut loose, you know? 00:48:05.010 --> 00:48:08.040 We have our review here on board. It's like an amateur night thing. 00:48:08.040 --> 00:48:10.840 Think you'll be interested? Too public. 00:48:10.850 --> 00:48:13.450 I'm more of a closet dancer. 00:48:13.450 --> 00:48:16.550 That's a shame because I'm the choreographer. 00:48:16.550 --> 00:48:18.620 Really? Mm-hmm. 00:48:18.620 --> 00:48:22.390 Well, for you I might just waltz out of the closet. 00:48:23.490 --> 00:48:26.390 You know, it's strange. 00:48:26.400 --> 00:48:28.400 What's that? 00:48:28.400 --> 00:48:31.330 The way you stare at me sometimes... 00:48:31.330 --> 00:48:33.700 or the way you touch me, like that right now, 00:48:33.700 --> 00:48:36.470 is exactly the way a straight guy would. 00:48:36.470 --> 00:48:38.470 Me? Straight? [ Laughs ] 00:48:38.470 --> 00:48:40.470 Girlfriend, please. 00:48:40.480 --> 00:48:43.110 Whoo! Nobody's gotta teach me how to be gay. 00:48:44.680 --> 00:48:46.750 Bette Midler is also known... 00:48:46.750 --> 00:48:50.720 as the Divine Miss-- 00:48:50.720 --> 00:48:53.490 "M"? Ah, very good! 00:48:53.490 --> 00:48:55.760 Very good. Oh, sorry. 00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:59.530 Okay, now describe the Brandy Alexander you're drinking. 00:48:59.530 --> 00:49:01.530 Mmm... refreshing. 00:49:01.530 --> 00:49:04.800 No, no, no! It is to die for! 00:49:04.800 --> 00:49:08.740 Also acceptable is divine, marvelous, yummy and ooh-la-la. 00:49:08.740 --> 00:49:10.540 Got it. Mm-hmm. 00:49:12.910 --> 00:49:17.110 [ Both ] ♪ At first I was afraid I was petrified ♪ 00:49:17.110 --> 00:49:21.650 ♪ Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side ♪ 00:49:21.650 --> 00:49:24.550 ♪ But then I spent so many nights ♪ 00:49:24.550 --> 00:49:26.790 ♪ Thinking how you did me wrong ♪ 00:49:26.790 --> 00:49:28.860 ♪ Then I grew strong ♪ 00:49:28.860 --> 00:49:31.090 ♪ And I learned how to get along ♪ 00:49:31.090 --> 00:49:32.960 ♪ And now you're back ♪ 00:49:32.960 --> 00:49:35.430 ♪ From outer space ♪ 00:49:35.430 --> 00:49:38.630 ♪ I just walked in to see you there with that sad look upon your-- ♪♪ 00:49:38.630 --> 00:49:40.870 Why you stop singing? Whoo! 00:49:40.870 --> 00:49:44.810 Oh, I don't know the words. Aah! 00:49:44.810 --> 00:49:49.540 You want to convince people you are gay, and you don't know the words to "I Will Survive"? 00:49:49.550 --> 00:49:54.110 Singing disco tunes and wearing calypso outfits is not gonna convince Gabriella I'm gay. 00:49:54.120 --> 00:49:56.120 Hector, this is stupid. 00:49:57.750 --> 00:50:00.990 ♪♪ [ Humming "I Will Survive" ] 00:50:00.990 --> 00:50:04.020 Are you humming "I Will Survive"? That's right. 00:50:04.030 --> 00:50:07.930 And I know all the words. ♪♪ [ Humming ] 00:50:07.930 --> 00:50:10.930 You're looking at me like I'm crazy. I'm not. 00:50:10.930 --> 00:50:14.970 You know what? Champagne usually makes me act crazy too. 00:50:14.970 --> 00:50:18.140 Champagne, ocean air. 00:50:18.140 --> 00:50:21.070 Strange things might happen. 00:50:21.080 --> 00:50:23.740 I might turn into a raging heterosexual. 00:50:26.780 --> 00:50:29.620 I should be so lucky. Can you imagine? 00:50:31.190 --> 00:50:34.690 You know what? Let's get this party on its feet. Come on. 00:50:34.690 --> 00:50:37.860 ♪ I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes ♪ ♪ Feelin' good ♪ 00:50:37.860 --> 00:50:40.990 ♪ Know where I'm going and I know what to do ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ 00:50:41.000 --> 00:50:45.170 ♪ I tidied up my point of view I got a new attitude ♪ 00:50:45.170 --> 00:50:47.870 ♪ New attitude, yeah ♪ 00:50:47.870 --> 00:50:50.500 ♪ I'm in control and my worries are few ♪ 00:50:50.510 --> 00:50:53.670 ♪ 'Cause I've got love like I never knew ♪ 00:50:53.680 --> 00:50:55.980 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 00:50:55.980 --> 00:50:58.510 ♪ I got a new attitude ♪♪ 00:51:05.150 --> 00:51:07.190 Inga, it's me, Nicky. 00:51:07.190 --> 00:51:10.120 [ Knocking ] Hurry up. 00:51:10.130 --> 00:51:13.560 Nicky. So Mr. Tongue has a name. 00:51:13.560 --> 00:51:16.660 I'm sorry about what happened. You don't have to hit me. The deed was punishment enough. 00:51:16.670 --> 00:51:19.130 No no no. 00:51:19.130 --> 00:51:23.040 If we ever hook up again, I want to show you... I can reciprocate. 00:51:23.040 --> 00:51:25.640 Reciprocate? 00:51:25.640 --> 00:51:27.640 Whoo! Ooh. 00:51:27.640 --> 00:51:32.050 - [ Groans ] - [ Grunting ] 00:51:39.020 --> 00:51:42.590 ♪ I don't want nobody else but you ♪ 00:51:42.590 --> 00:51:46.730 ♪ So let me pull you close And let me love you through and through ♪ 00:51:46.730 --> 00:51:49.730 ♪ I don't want nobody else but you ♪ 00:51:49.730 --> 00:51:53.730 ♪ It's time to get away have a tête-à-tête for two ♪ 00:51:53.740 --> 00:51:55.870 ♪ Shake, shake shake, shake your body ♪ 00:51:55.870 --> 00:51:57.940 ♪ Come on, boy let's have a party ♪ 00:51:57.940 --> 00:52:01.610 ♪ Break out the congas and play 'em loud ♪ 00:52:01.610 --> 00:52:03.680 ♪ Shake up shake up the party ♪ 00:52:03.680 --> 00:52:05.980 ♪ Come on, boy we don't need nobody ♪ 00:52:05.980 --> 00:52:08.720 ♪ Together I know we'll tear up the town ♪♪ 00:52:10.720 --> 00:52:14.790 - Hey, Nick! - Hey, fresh meat. Have a seat, Nick. 00:52:14.790 --> 00:52:17.160 We can always use a little extra spending money. 00:52:17.160 --> 00:52:20.560 I need a quiet game of poker. Sorry I'm late, boys. 00:52:20.560 --> 00:52:23.730 Had a little trouble squeezing into these panty hose. 00:52:23.730 --> 00:52:26.670 - So, what's the game? - Five-card stud. 00:52:26.670 --> 00:52:29.170 Mm-hmm. Very appropriate. Let's play some cards. 00:52:30.970 --> 00:52:33.770 I'm tired, Jerry. 00:52:33.780 --> 00:52:37.110 You want something to drink? Whoa, whoa. One more. 00:52:49.760 --> 00:52:53.660 ♪♪ [ Singing In French ] 00:53:26.030 --> 00:53:30.130 ♪♪ [ French Continues ] 00:53:50.890 --> 00:53:52.920 [ Thunder Rumbling ] 00:53:52.920 --> 00:53:54.990 Hector. 00:53:56.960 --> 00:53:59.760 You've been on a boat before. Is it safe? 00:53:59.760 --> 00:54:03.030 Of course it's safe, as long as you are responsible. 00:54:04.370 --> 00:54:07.230 Oh, you mean the storm. That I do not know. 00:54:07.240 --> 00:54:10.400 [ Thunderclap ] Whoo! 00:54:10.410 --> 00:54:14.740 Let me ask you something. How many cruises have you been on? 00:54:14.740 --> 00:54:19.710 Including this one? That would make it... one. 00:54:19.720 --> 00:54:23.820 You see, I only recently come all the way out of the closet. 00:54:23.820 --> 00:54:26.020 Recently? Really? Mmm. 00:54:26.020 --> 00:54:29.760 - I would figure kindergarten. - No, but let me tell you, it wasn't easy. 00:54:29.760 --> 00:54:33.990 But it's better to be true to yourself than to lie to the world. 00:54:36.030 --> 00:54:39.100 Must have taken a lot of guts. It's funny, you know. 00:54:39.100 --> 00:54:42.400 These guys I'm playing poker with-- Steven, Tom, Ron. 00:54:42.400 --> 00:54:45.240 Steven's a doctor. A gay heart surgeon. Who would have thought? 00:54:45.240 --> 00:54:48.740 Ron's a criminal defense attorney. He represents badass dudes. 00:54:48.740 --> 00:54:51.950 Tom's a cross-dressing pastry chef. 00:54:51.950 --> 00:54:55.020 Okay, I would have guessed that, but still... 00:54:55.020 --> 00:54:57.950 they're a great bunch of guys. 00:54:57.950 --> 00:55:00.390 So what are you saying? What am I saying? 00:55:00.390 --> 00:55:04.760 What I'm saying is, I kind of wanted to hang out more with these guys, 00:55:04.760 --> 00:55:08.760 but there was a part of me that felt it was somehow... 00:55:08.760 --> 00:55:11.400 wrong to be friends with gay men. 00:55:13.230 --> 00:55:16.770 And that... makes me feel like a jerk. 00:55:21.280 --> 00:55:24.010 Sit. Come on. Sit. 00:55:27.150 --> 00:55:29.220 [ Sighs ] You know, my papa, 00:55:29.220 --> 00:55:32.520 he used to think that to be gay was muy malo, 00:55:32.520 --> 00:55:35.290 a big shame. 00:55:36.990 --> 00:55:40.460 He no talk to me for 20 years, his own blood. 00:55:40.460 --> 00:55:43.460 Then when he's sick, he's dying, h-he ask for me, 00:55:43.470 --> 00:55:46.770 he say to me, "Hector, 00:55:46.770 --> 00:55:49.300 "I waste so much time. 00:55:49.300 --> 00:55:51.470 "We all God's children. 00:55:51.470 --> 00:55:53.470 I'm so sorry." 00:55:53.480 --> 00:55:56.540 He said, he's sorry. 00:55:58.810 --> 00:56:00.810 Ooh. 00:56:00.820 --> 00:56:03.150 Uh-- 00:56:03.150 --> 00:56:07.220 You see, my papi, he like you. He no jerk. 00:56:07.220 --> 00:56:09.420 He just need to learn. 00:56:11.030 --> 00:56:13.160 You learn too, my friend. 00:56:15.400 --> 00:56:17.800 [ Door Closes ] 00:56:17.800 --> 00:56:20.270 [ Jerry, Gabriella Laughing ] 00:56:20.270 --> 00:56:23.240 Ohh! Ow, I'm hurting. 00:56:23.240 --> 00:56:27.340 [ Thunderclap ] Oh, it feels so good to get off my feet! 00:56:27.340 --> 00:56:30.240 Ohh! I couldn't agree with you more. 00:56:33.210 --> 00:56:35.220 You know what? 00:56:35.220 --> 00:56:38.820 I've got to get out of these clothes. 00:56:38.820 --> 00:56:41.290 I couldn't agree with you more. 00:56:41.290 --> 00:56:44.860 Listen, would you mind doing me a huge, 00:56:44.860 --> 00:56:47.160 huge favor? 00:56:47.160 --> 00:56:50.830 Would you spend the night with me? What? 00:56:50.830 --> 00:56:53.100 Yeah, you know, it's the storm. 00:56:53.100 --> 00:56:56.900 I wouldn't mind huddling under the covers with somebody. 00:56:56.910 --> 00:56:59.510 You think Nick would mind? 00:56:59.510 --> 00:57:02.340 Oh-- 00:57:02.340 --> 00:57:04.340 Fuck Nick. [ Thunderclap ] 00:57:04.350 --> 00:57:07.080 Is this storm gettin' worse... 00:57:07.080 --> 00:57:10.480 or am I too drunker? 00:57:10.490 --> 00:57:13.920 I have a theory. 00:57:13.920 --> 00:57:16.920 I think if we drank more, 00:57:16.930 --> 00:57:18.990 we might be able to maintain perfect equilibrium. 00:57:18.990 --> 00:57:20.990 I'll try that... 00:57:21.000 --> 00:57:24.360 in the pursuit of... science. 00:57:24.370 --> 00:57:28.200 I'll get us another round. I have a better idea. 00:57:28.200 --> 00:57:31.540 I have a 50-year-old bottle of cognac... 00:57:31.540 --> 00:57:33.570 in my room, 00:57:33.580 --> 00:57:36.040 and I'm gonna go get it. 00:57:36.040 --> 00:57:38.040 I'll go with you. 00:57:38.050 --> 00:57:40.210 I could use the exercise. 00:57:40.220 --> 00:57:42.420 All right. 00:57:42.420 --> 00:57:46.020 [ Gabriella ] Jerry. We can get up from under the covers. 00:57:46.020 --> 00:57:49.020 I think the storm was over like half an hour ago. 00:57:50.160 --> 00:57:54.230 That's one hell of a storm, though. 00:57:54.230 --> 00:57:56.900 You know what? I have something you're gonna love! 00:57:56.900 --> 00:58:00.600 Mmm! Get ready to have an orgasm. What? 00:58:02.270 --> 00:58:04.140 Open wide. 00:58:06.310 --> 00:58:08.310 Mmm. Good? 00:58:08.310 --> 00:58:11.680 - Mm-hmm. - [ Moans, Sighs ] 00:58:13.150 --> 00:58:16.520 - Do me. - You're so lucky I'm gay. 00:58:20.450 --> 00:58:24.490 Oh! Mmm! 00:58:24.490 --> 00:58:27.560 [ Moaning ] 00:58:27.560 --> 00:58:30.430 - Can I ask you something? - Shoot. 00:58:30.430 --> 00:58:33.630 - How do you do it? - Do what? 00:58:33.640 --> 00:58:37.440 - Give head. - What? 00:58:37.440 --> 00:58:42.280 A blow job. I mean, do you start on the tip of his penis? 00:58:42.280 --> 00:58:45.350 Do you stroke it while you use your mouth? 00:58:45.350 --> 00:58:49.250 Do you tickle the balls? Not everybody likes that. 00:58:49.250 --> 00:58:53.120 As a person who gives them and receives them, you must know the perfect way. 00:58:53.120 --> 00:58:55.120 Show me. Oh! Uh-- 00:58:55.120 --> 00:58:58.190 What? Uh-- 00:58:58.190 --> 00:59:00.460 Okay. 00:59:03.200 --> 00:59:05.070 A-- 00:59:06.670 --> 00:59:09.500 Um-- [Chuckles] 00:59:09.500 --> 00:59:13.110 What? Eh-- You-- 00:59:13.110 --> 00:59:16.240 Nothing smaller then? 00:59:16.240 --> 00:59:18.450 You know, I got an idea. 00:59:18.450 --> 00:59:22.620 Why don't you show me your technique, and then I'll critique it? 00:59:23.620 --> 00:59:28.460 Okay. Okay. 00:59:28.460 --> 00:59:30.460 Yeah. So look. 00:59:30.460 --> 00:59:33.130 First, 00:59:33.130 --> 00:59:36.300 I slowly lick the tip with my tongue, right? 00:59:36.300 --> 00:59:38.330 Uh-huh. 00:59:42.070 --> 00:59:44.670 [ Moans ] 00:59:44.670 --> 00:59:47.110 - Right? - That's good. 00:59:47.110 --> 00:59:50.140 Then I gently go down the shaft with my lips. 00:59:51.380 --> 00:59:53.580 [ Kissing ] 00:59:53.580 --> 00:59:58.280 And at the same time, I tickle the balls very softly. 00:59:58.290 --> 01:00:02.090 Then I trill my tongue all the way... [ Moans ] 01:00:05.590 --> 01:00:08.190 back to the top. 01:00:08.200 --> 01:00:10.560 Then I wet my lips, 01:00:10.570 --> 01:00:13.130 [ Moans ] 01:00:13.140 --> 01:00:16.070 I do a little playful nibbling... 01:00:17.370 --> 01:00:20.140 and then I slip in my mouth. 01:00:22.580 --> 01:00:26.380 [ Speaks Spanish ] 01:00:26.380 --> 01:00:29.420 [ Spanish ] 01:00:30.580 --> 01:00:32.790 How's that? 01:00:32.790 --> 01:00:35.520 - Jerry? - That's fine! 01:00:35.520 --> 01:00:37.090 [ Foghorn Bellows ] 01:00:40.630 --> 01:00:44.300 For goodness sake, Lloyd, at least kiss me first. 01:00:44.300 --> 01:00:46.570 [ Laughing ] No, you didn't. 01:00:46.570 --> 01:00:50.570 Oh, yes, I did. 01:00:50.570 --> 01:00:53.770 Oh, now where did I put that bag? 01:00:53.780 --> 01:00:56.240 I'm just gonna lay down. 01:00:56.240 --> 01:00:58.240 [ Snores ] 01:01:00.650 --> 01:01:03.250 [ Groans ] Got it. 01:01:03.250 --> 01:01:06.290 [ Snoring ] 01:01:06.290 --> 01:01:08.720 Now, before we go back up with the boys, 01:01:08.720 --> 01:01:11.290 what do you say we do a couple of shots? 01:01:11.290 --> 01:01:16.100 [ Giggling ] You're a goddamn genius. 01:01:16.100 --> 01:01:18.430 Here you go. 01:01:18.430 --> 01:01:20.500 Oh. [ Scoffs ] 01:01:30.440 --> 01:01:33.180 [ Snoring ] 01:02:03.480 --> 01:02:06.210 [ Moans ] 01:02:12.290 --> 01:02:14.720 [ Screaming ] Oh, 01:02:14.720 --> 01:02:17.660 my... God! 01:02:17.660 --> 01:02:20.760 Gosh! 01:02:27.700 --> 01:02:30.240 What are you doing? 01:02:30.240 --> 01:02:33.310 I have a horrible taste in my mouth, and I can't get rid of it. 01:02:33.310 --> 01:02:35.310 What, did you eat something weird? 01:02:35.310 --> 01:02:37.380 Yeah. Oh-- 01:02:37.380 --> 01:02:40.580 I did a bad, bad thing, Jerry. What? 01:02:40.580 --> 01:02:42.780 You know how the sea air makes you disoriented, 01:02:42.780 --> 01:02:45.690 and I was blitzed from the drinking and the partying, and I-I-- 01:02:45.690 --> 01:02:48.690 I slept with a man, Jerry. 01:02:48.690 --> 01:02:50.690 Very funny. 01:02:50.690 --> 01:02:53.590 No, it's not. 01:02:53.600 --> 01:02:56.600 I just woke up in Ron's state room... with Ron. 01:02:56.600 --> 01:02:58.600 What? 01:02:59.770 --> 01:03:02.640 I've chased a lot of women, Jerry. 01:03:02.640 --> 01:03:04.900 But to be honest, 01:03:04.910 --> 01:03:07.870 I've never actually scored with one since I was a senior in high school, 01:03:07.880 --> 01:03:10.640 and then I had to promise to marry her. 01:03:10.650 --> 01:03:13.780 A 51-year-old coffee shop waitress... 01:03:13.780 --> 01:03:16.550 and stroke victim... 01:03:16.550 --> 01:03:18.820 with a fake leg... 01:03:18.820 --> 01:03:20.820 and a lazy eye... 01:03:20.820 --> 01:03:22.790 and a mole with teeth-- I-I got it. 01:03:22.790 --> 01:03:25.530 What I'm trying to say is, 01:03:25.530 --> 01:03:28.930 maybe I'm meant to do more than just play cards with these guys, Jerry. 01:03:28.930 --> 01:03:31.930 [ Scoffs ] I'm finally happy. 01:03:31.930 --> 01:03:34.270 I'm so happy. 01:03:34.270 --> 01:03:36.270 I'm gay. 01:03:36.270 --> 01:03:39.440 [ Gabriella ] One, two, three, 01:03:39.440 --> 01:03:42.710 four, five, six, 01:03:42.710 --> 01:03:44.880 seven, eight-- 01:03:44.880 --> 01:03:48.580 And one, two, three, four, 01:03:48.580 --> 01:03:50.580 five, six, seven, eight. 01:03:50.590 --> 01:03:52.990 Good. Good work, guys. 01:03:52.990 --> 01:03:55.960 Good work. Hector, try not shaking your ass so much. 01:03:55.960 --> 01:03:58.290 You mean in the dance or in real life? 01:03:59.760 --> 01:04:01.760 Okay, guys, thank you so much for coming. 01:04:01.760 --> 01:04:04.360 I'll see you back here tonight at 11:00. 01:04:04.370 --> 01:04:06.930 Jerry, you are looking fierce up there. 01:04:06.940 --> 01:04:09.570 Oh-- [ Laughing ] 01:04:09.570 --> 01:04:11.970 I can't remember when I've had this much fun. 01:04:11.970 --> 01:04:14.470 You know, you are just great. 01:04:14.480 --> 01:04:17.280 Hey, 01:04:17.280 --> 01:04:19.510 are you gonna go to the island? I am. 01:04:19.510 --> 01:04:22.480 Do you want me to be your tour guide? I know the island very well. 01:04:22.480 --> 01:04:24.780 That would be yummy. 01:04:24.790 --> 01:04:27.720 Yummy? Uh, let's go. 01:04:38.070 --> 01:04:41.970 Nicholas, I was beginning to wonder about you. 01:04:41.970 --> 01:04:44.800 I'm glad to see that you finally got that luscious, 01:04:44.810 --> 01:04:48.740 full-figured frame of yours in the right dinghy. 01:04:48.740 --> 01:04:51.610 It's amazing. A day ago I would have seriously thought about... 01:04:51.610 --> 01:04:53.980 punching you in the face for saying something like that. 01:04:53.980 --> 01:04:57.450 This place is paradise. Oh, yeah. We're gonna have an awesome time. 01:04:57.450 --> 01:05:02.090 I'll say. I can already feel the men around here undressing me with their eyes. 01:05:02.090 --> 01:05:04.920 You hungry? You want to get something to eat? Nope. I have a better idea. 01:05:04.930 --> 01:05:08.460 Let's go exploring first. Great. 01:05:08.460 --> 01:05:11.530 Daddy, thanks so much for finding out where Jerry is for me. 01:05:11.530 --> 01:05:13.700 Yeah, I'm sure things are gonna work out too. 01:05:13.700 --> 01:05:16.000 Bye-bye. Love you, Daddy. 01:05:16.000 --> 01:05:18.970 How do I get to the Olympia Voyager? Right this way, madam. 01:05:18.970 --> 01:05:21.870 Be careful with those bags. They're worth more than you make in a year. 01:05:21.880 --> 01:05:23.680 [Chuckling] Have a nice trip. 01:05:23.680 --> 01:05:25.680 Bitch. 01:05:27.010 --> 01:05:29.520 Hey, Nick. How ya doin'? 01:05:29.520 --> 01:05:32.890 Hey, fine. I'm not sore or anything. 01:05:32.890 --> 01:05:34.890 Hey, buddy, about last night, 01:05:34.890 --> 01:05:36.990 I understand why it happened. 01:05:36.990 --> 01:05:38.930 I mean, uh, I'm pretty charismatic, 01:05:38.930 --> 01:05:41.360 and if the moon hits me in just the right way, 01:05:41.360 --> 01:05:42.960 I can look pretty damn tasty. 01:05:42.960 --> 01:05:45.700 You know, you're okay too, 01:05:45.700 --> 01:05:48.130 but, uh, I'd just really rather we stay friends. 01:05:48.140 --> 01:05:51.000 All right. Me too, Nick. 01:05:51.010 --> 01:05:53.710 Yeah? Wow. Yeah. 01:05:53.710 --> 01:05:57.080 If I would have said that to a chick, she'd be a total mess right now. 01:05:57.080 --> 01:05:59.610 I'm starting to see the upside to this whole thing. [ Marching Approaching ] 01:05:59.610 --> 01:06:02.520 If you do what Sonya says-- one, two, three, four. 01:06:02.520 --> 01:06:05.990 Woke up with no tanning cream, now you're off the tanning team. 01:06:05.990 --> 01:06:08.420 One, two, three, four-- Coach, 01:06:08.420 --> 01:06:10.420 look, it's the Hawaiian Tropic team. 01:06:17.160 --> 01:06:22.770 [ Swedish ] 01:06:26.840 --> 01:06:29.110 [ Man ] Hey, break it up, ladies. Come on. Move. 01:06:29.110 --> 01:06:31.740 Come on. Take it easy. 01:06:31.750 --> 01:06:35.150 [ Whistles ] Break it up. Break it up. 01:06:35.150 --> 01:06:37.420 Save it for the tanning competition. 01:06:37.420 --> 01:06:41.520 Bad! You are bad! Everybody move out now! 01:06:47.900 --> 01:06:50.500 Okay, girls, get your heinies on the donkeys... 01:06:50.500 --> 01:06:52.500 now! 01:06:53.500 --> 01:06:56.940 Nick? 01:06:56.940 --> 01:07:00.010 I just wanted to say good-bye. I'm going to the airport now. 01:07:00.010 --> 01:07:03.710 Inga, it was great almost knowing you. 01:07:03.710 --> 01:07:06.680 Nick, if you're ever near Gettzemüllersteigen, Sweden, 01:07:06.680 --> 01:07:08.680 I would love to see you again. 01:07:08.680 --> 01:07:10.750 I don't think so, baby. 01:07:10.750 --> 01:07:12.750 I don't think this is gonna work out. 01:07:12.750 --> 01:07:16.160 But I thought you liked me, Nick. 01:07:16.160 --> 01:07:18.560 I'm confused. 01:07:18.560 --> 01:07:21.660 [ Sighs ] So am I. You don't even know. 01:07:21.660 --> 01:07:24.060 You better hurry. You have an ass to catch. 01:07:24.070 --> 01:07:26.870 [ Sniffling ] 01:07:26.870 --> 01:07:30.540 And you? Huh. Hey. 01:07:33.140 --> 01:07:35.510 [ Sonya ] And we go. 01:07:37.680 --> 01:07:39.750 Oh, that feels good. 01:07:41.780 --> 01:07:45.020 Hey, Nick. About last night, 01:07:45.020 --> 01:07:47.920 you don't think anything happened, do you? 01:07:47.920 --> 01:07:49.920 What do you think happened? 01:07:49.920 --> 01:07:53.930 Nothing. You and I drank too much and then fell asleep. 01:07:53.930 --> 01:07:56.930 Are you sure? Yeah. 01:07:56.930 --> 01:07:59.830 No! 01:07:59.830 --> 01:08:04.170 [Cackling] None! 01:08:04.170 --> 01:08:06.240 Well, I think we lost that one forever. 01:08:06.240 --> 01:08:08.540 A lot of potential in that boy. 01:08:08.540 --> 01:08:11.580 Could have been one of the great ones. 01:08:11.580 --> 01:08:14.150 I saw in him what I saw in Elton John. Mmm. 01:08:27.930 --> 01:08:29.930 What do you think? 01:08:29.930 --> 01:08:32.870 That is so great. 01:08:32.870 --> 01:08:36.740 - But I'm not nearly that pretty. - You are to me. 01:08:36.740 --> 01:08:39.170 You know, you are so talented, Jerry. 01:08:39.170 --> 01:08:40.970 You think so? Wow. Absolutely. 01:08:40.980 --> 01:08:43.180 [ Snickers ] 01:08:43.180 --> 01:08:46.780 Why the funny look? Oh, nothing. It's-- 01:08:46.780 --> 01:08:48.950 No one's ever encouraged my drawing before. 01:08:48.950 --> 01:08:51.680 Well, that's crazy, because you're wonderful. 01:08:53.020 --> 01:08:55.020 Let's go take a walk on the beach. Come on. 01:08:55.020 --> 01:08:57.690 Oh, it's so rocky. 01:08:57.690 --> 01:09:00.230 Jerry, stop being so delicate all the time. 01:09:00.230 --> 01:09:02.560 [ Scoffs ] I'm not delicate. 01:09:02.560 --> 01:09:06.900 [ Whimpering ] Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay, I'm delicate! 01:09:06.900 --> 01:09:08.940 And it's hot! 01:09:08.940 --> 01:09:11.600 Come on. I know what we can do. Let's go cool off. 01:09:11.610 --> 01:09:14.240 ♪ As I'm kissing you ♪ Oh. 01:09:14.240 --> 01:09:17.010 ♪ As I'm kissing you ♪ 01:09:17.010 --> 01:09:18.950 I'm not that delicate. Ooh, ah. 01:09:21.850 --> 01:09:25.280 ♪ Boy, the taste of your lips pulls me in deeper ♪ 01:09:25.290 --> 01:09:28.720 H-H-Here I come! ♪ Nothing else would compare ♪ 01:09:28.720 --> 01:09:31.820 ♪ Or ever be sweeter ♪ 01:09:31.830 --> 01:09:35.060 ♪ With every breath you've got me drowning in desire ♪ 01:09:35.060 --> 01:09:39.230 ♪ So hold me tight And, baby, never let me go ♪ 01:09:39.230 --> 01:09:42.270 ♪ As I'm kissing you ♪ ♪ As I'm kissing you ♪ 01:09:42.270 --> 01:09:45.100 ♪ My world seems brighter ♪ 01:09:45.110 --> 01:09:49.910 ♪ Boy, tell me do you feel this fire too ♪ 01:09:49.910 --> 01:09:54.780 ♪ I think I'm losin' my heart to you, darlin' ♪ ♪ Losin' my heart ♪ 01:09:54.780 --> 01:09:57.350 ♪ Are you ready to catch me ♪ 01:09:57.350 --> 01:10:00.350 ♪ I'm fallin' in love ♪ 01:10:00.360 --> 01:10:03.990 Had your vitamin C today? 01:10:03.990 --> 01:10:07.760 You know, you really make me laugh. 01:10:08.960 --> 01:10:11.700 Mmm. 01:10:12.700 --> 01:10:16.000 I'm so glad we met. [ Gasps ] 01:10:16.000 --> 01:10:18.200 Mm-hmm. 01:10:18.210 --> 01:10:21.770 You know, it really is a shame... 01:10:21.780 --> 01:10:23.640 to let this place go to waste. 01:10:24.850 --> 01:10:27.650 Just a friendly kiss. Mmm. 01:10:27.650 --> 01:10:30.250 [ Moaning ] 01:10:31.790 --> 01:10:34.050 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 01:10:34.060 --> 01:10:36.920 Jerry, I don't want to feel like I am pressuring you... 01:10:36.920 --> 01:10:39.290 into doing something you don't want to do. 01:10:39.290 --> 01:10:41.190 Oh, I want to do this very badly. 01:10:41.200 --> 01:10:43.700 Really? Yes. 01:10:43.700 --> 01:10:46.930 Okay. So, let me be your guide. 01:10:46.930 --> 01:10:50.270 And I promise, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna be gentle. 01:10:50.270 --> 01:10:52.300 I'm gonna be patient. 01:10:52.310 --> 01:10:56.180 And we're gonna take it very, very slowly. 01:10:56.180 --> 01:10:58.180 - Great. - [ Screams ] 01:10:58.180 --> 01:11:01.080 [ Gasping ] 01:11:01.080 --> 01:11:03.950 Ooh! 01:11:03.950 --> 01:11:06.420 [ Moaning ] 01:11:06.420 --> 01:11:09.820 ♪ As I'm kissing you ♪ 01:11:11.430 --> 01:11:15.800 ♪ As I'm kissing you ♪ [ Gabriella Moaning ] 01:11:15.800 --> 01:11:19.330 ♪ As I'm kissing you ♪ 01:11:22.270 --> 01:11:25.340 ♪ Are you ready to catch me I'm fallin' in love ♪♪ 01:11:25.340 --> 01:11:28.070 Jerry, Jerry, 01:11:28.080 --> 01:11:31.240 you're a really quick study. 01:11:31.250 --> 01:11:33.250 That's enough foreplay. 01:11:36.050 --> 01:11:40.120 Excuse me. Could you ring Jerry Robinson's room, please? 01:11:40.120 --> 01:11:42.020 Certainly. 01:11:46.230 --> 01:11:49.800 [ Chuckles ] [ Ringing ] 01:11:49.800 --> 01:11:51.800 No one seems to be answering, ma'am. 01:11:51.800 --> 01:11:54.070 Oh-- Could you give me his room number? 01:11:54.070 --> 01:11:56.300 I'm sorry. We're not allowed to divulge that information. 01:11:56.300 --> 01:11:58.970 Would you like to leave a message? 01:11:58.970 --> 01:12:02.110 No, thanks. I want to surprise him. 01:12:03.310 --> 01:12:06.210 Thank you. 01:12:11.150 --> 01:12:13.220 [ Scoffs ] 01:12:15.790 --> 01:12:19.360 Want to have dinner with me tonight? 01:12:19.360 --> 01:12:24.430 No. Why not? 01:12:24.430 --> 01:12:29.140 Because I'm falling in love with you. 01:12:29.140 --> 01:12:31.200 You are? 01:12:31.210 --> 01:12:33.410 Yes, I am. 01:12:33.410 --> 01:12:35.410 And out of all the dumb, 01:12:35.410 --> 01:12:37.910 boneheaded romantic moves I've made over the years, 01:12:37.910 --> 01:12:40.110 you see, this will be the dumbest. 01:12:40.110 --> 01:12:42.880 No-No-No. Wait, Gabriella. This-This could work. 01:12:42.880 --> 01:12:45.180 How do you think this is gonna work? 01:12:45.190 --> 01:12:47.250 I can't make you into something you're not, Jerry. 01:12:47.260 --> 01:12:50.190 I do that with every man I fall for, 01:12:50.190 --> 01:12:51.990 and it has to stop. 01:12:54.230 --> 01:12:58.130 Besides, you already have someone. No, I don't. 01:12:58.130 --> 01:13:00.230 What about Nick? 01:13:00.230 --> 01:13:03.070 Uh-- 01:13:04.270 --> 01:13:07.270 That's just... physical. 01:13:07.280 --> 01:13:11.110 Listen. I have to accept who you really are. 01:13:11.110 --> 01:13:13.480 I really want to be alone right now. 01:13:30.900 --> 01:13:33.000 [ Squeals ] 01:13:48.080 --> 01:13:50.220 [ Clears Throat ] Hi. 01:13:50.220 --> 01:13:52.350 Hi. 01:13:52.350 --> 01:13:54.520 It's kind of nice seeing another woman on board. 01:13:54.520 --> 01:13:56.560 Oh, tell me about it. 01:13:56.560 --> 01:13:59.230 All I've seen are men, most of them gay. 01:13:59.230 --> 01:14:01.190 Well, it is a gay cruise. 01:14:01.200 --> 01:14:04.260 [ Sighs ] 01:14:04.270 --> 01:14:06.870 - What'd you just say? - You didn't know? 01:14:06.870 --> 01:14:10.870 No. I came on board to get back together with my boyfriend. 01:14:10.870 --> 01:14:14.510 I don't get it. Why in the world would he be on a g-- 01:14:14.510 --> 01:14:17.410 [ Elevator Dings ] 01:14:18.350 --> 01:14:21.010 Good luck. 01:14:21.020 --> 01:14:23.020 Thanks. 01:14:24.650 --> 01:14:26.650 Hector! Ooh-- 01:14:26.650 --> 01:14:29.050 [ Crash ] 01:14:29.060 --> 01:14:31.460 Have you seen Gabriella? No, I've been looking for her myself. 01:14:31.460 --> 01:14:34.290 Everything is falling apart. The music is not ready-- 01:14:34.300 --> 01:14:38.360 Victor, the lead dancer, is seasick. 01:14:38.370 --> 01:14:41.330 And look at my costume. Huh? It hangs. 01:14:41.340 --> 01:14:43.970 It's supposed to drape. 01:14:43.970 --> 01:14:46.510 Okay. If you see Gabriella, could you give her this message for me, please? 01:14:46.510 --> 01:14:48.670 [ Screams ] 01:14:48.680 --> 01:14:51.380 How could I have been so blind? 01:14:51.380 --> 01:14:53.550 I mean, the signs were right in front of my eyes. 01:14:53.550 --> 01:14:56.450 [ Hiccups ] Foreign films, 01:14:56.450 --> 01:14:58.480 Rabbit convertible, 01:14:58.490 --> 01:15:02.350 gourmet mustards-- 01:15:02.360 --> 01:15:04.560 Wait. 01:15:04.560 --> 01:15:07.630 Maybe he's only curious. 01:15:07.630 --> 01:15:11.000 I mean, there was that one time when I was in college, 01:15:11.000 --> 01:15:14.000 my roommate Bianca and I, we shared a Jacuzzi. 01:15:14.000 --> 01:15:17.640 [ Chuckling ] Whoa. Now that got kind of hot. 01:15:19.570 --> 01:15:22.510 Oh. 01:15:22.510 --> 01:15:25.980 I got to go, Bob. Keep the change. Thanks. 01:15:28.280 --> 01:15:30.420 Think twice before you-- 01:15:30.420 --> 01:15:34.290 ♪ Blow the man down ♪ 01:15:34.290 --> 01:15:37.190 [ Hector ] Woo-hoo-hoo! Thank you. 01:15:37.190 --> 01:15:40.390 Okay. Get everybody ready for the next number. They have less than a minute. 01:15:42.430 --> 01:15:45.460 What? 01:15:45.470 --> 01:15:49.000 Nobody told me Victor was too sick to dance. Who's gonna be the lead? 01:15:49.000 --> 01:15:52.500 ♪ I'm comin' ♪ 01:15:52.510 --> 01:15:54.670 ♪ Comin' out ♪ 01:15:57.080 --> 01:16:00.280 ♪ I'm comin' ♪ I'm comin'... 01:16:00.280 --> 01:16:02.310 ♪ Out ♪ out. 01:16:02.320 --> 01:16:05.050 Oh, my God. 01:16:05.050 --> 01:16:07.450 [ Lip-synching ] ♪ I'm comin' out ♪ 01:16:07.460 --> 01:16:12.220 ♪ I want the world to know Got to let it show ♪ 01:16:12.230 --> 01:16:15.330 ♪ I'm comin' out ♪ 01:16:15.330 --> 01:16:19.470 ♪ I want the world to know Got to let it show ♪ 01:16:21.100 --> 01:16:25.140 ♪ I'm comin' ♪ 01:16:25.140 --> 01:16:28.070 ♪ Out ♪ 01:16:28.080 --> 01:16:31.010 ♪ There's a new me comin' out ♪ 01:16:31.010 --> 01:16:34.080 ♪ And I just have to live And I just wanna give ♪ 01:16:34.080 --> 01:16:36.750 ♪ I'm completely positive ♪ 01:16:36.750 --> 01:16:39.080 ♪ I think this time around ♪ 01:16:39.090 --> 01:16:43.020 ♪ I am gonna do it like you never knew it ♪ 01:16:43.020 --> 01:16:45.120 ♪ Oh, I'll make it through ♪ 01:16:45.130 --> 01:16:49.030 ♪ The time has come for me to break out of this shell ♪ 01:16:49.030 --> 01:16:52.600 ♪ I have to shout that I am comin' out ♪ 01:16:52.600 --> 01:16:55.570 ♪ I'm comin' out ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 01:16:55.570 --> 01:16:57.770 ♪ I want the world to know ♪ 01:16:57.770 --> 01:17:00.240 ♪ Got to let it show ♪ 01:17:00.240 --> 01:17:02.440 ♪ Oh, I'm comin' out ♪ 01:17:02.440 --> 01:17:05.340 ♪ Comin' out ♪ ♪ I want the world to know ♪ 01:17:05.350 --> 01:17:08.780 ♪ Got to let it show ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 01:17:08.780 --> 01:17:11.420 ♪ I'm comin' ♪ 01:17:11.420 --> 01:17:13.220 ♪ Out ♪ 01:17:14.550 --> 01:17:16.760 Oh-- 01:17:16.760 --> 01:17:19.430 ♪ I'm comin' out ♪ ♪ Comin' ♪ 01:17:19.430 --> 01:17:21.590 ♪ I want the world to know ♪ ♪ Out ♪ 01:17:21.600 --> 01:17:24.060 ♪ Got to let it show ♪ 01:17:24.070 --> 01:17:26.100 ♪ Whoo-oo, I'm ♪ ♪ I'm comin' out ♪ 01:17:26.100 --> 01:17:28.130 ♪ Comin' ♪ 01:17:28.140 --> 01:17:29.670 ♪ I want the world to know ♪ ♪ Out ♪ 01:17:29.670 --> 01:17:32.240 ♪ Got to let it show ♪ 01:17:32.240 --> 01:17:35.270 ♪ Comin' out ♪ ♪ I'm comin' out ♪ 01:17:35.280 --> 01:17:37.280 ♪ Comin' ♪ ♪ I want the world to know ♪ 01:17:37.280 --> 01:17:39.280 ♪ Out ♪ ♪ Got to let it show ♪ 01:17:41.150 --> 01:17:43.150 ♪ I'm ♪ ♪ I'm comin' out ♪ 01:17:43.150 --> 01:17:45.180 ♪ Comin' ♪ ♪ I want the world to know ♪ 01:17:45.190 --> 01:17:48.450 ♪ Out ♪ ♪ Got to let it show ♪♪ 01:17:53.590 --> 01:17:55.460 Cocksucker! 01:17:55.460 --> 01:17:58.700 Felicia. 01:17:59.800 --> 01:18:02.400 I was talkin' to him. 01:18:02.400 --> 01:18:04.640 This-- 01:18:04.640 --> 01:18:06.210 [ Crying ] [ Jerry ] Felicia! 01:18:08.810 --> 01:18:11.410 Felicia, what are you doing here? 01:18:11.410 --> 01:18:14.110 Don't even talk to me. I feel so humiliated. 01:18:14.120 --> 01:18:16.120 Oh. Well, how did you find me? 01:18:16.120 --> 01:18:19.180 What were you thinking about when we were making love-- cabana boys? 01:18:19.190 --> 01:18:23.690 Hey, hey-- I am not gay. And to think, I wanted to be your wife! 01:18:23.690 --> 01:18:26.160 What? 01:18:26.160 --> 01:18:28.530 I really missed you, Jerry. 01:18:28.530 --> 01:18:30.830 All the special times we had-- we complimented each other. 01:18:30.830 --> 01:18:33.630 We could have built a life together. 01:18:33.630 --> 01:18:35.630 Built a life together? Yes. 01:18:35.640 --> 01:18:37.840 Well, what about Andre, the buffer boy? 01:18:37.840 --> 01:18:40.240 It was just a fling. Oh-- 01:18:40.240 --> 01:18:42.880 A horrible, thoughtless, insensitive mistake. Eh-- 01:18:42.880 --> 01:18:45.480 But he showed me what I really wanted-- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 01:18:45.480 --> 01:18:48.210 A stable, decent man who will always be there for me. 01:18:48.220 --> 01:18:51.350 And I thought that that was you. 01:18:51.350 --> 01:18:53.850 [ Sighs ] What are you saying? You want to get back together? 01:18:53.850 --> 01:18:57.460 Well, I did... before I found out that you were gay. 01:18:59.390 --> 01:19:01.630 How could you think I'm gay? 01:19:01.630 --> 01:19:04.560 You're standing there preening like a gay peacock, 01:19:04.570 --> 01:19:06.900 and you don't want me to think you're tutti-frutti? 01:19:06.900 --> 01:19:09.300 For heaven's sake, Felicia! 01:19:09.300 --> 01:19:12.300 I am not gay, and I never have been gay. 01:19:12.310 --> 01:19:14.510 Then why the hell are you on this boat? 01:19:14.510 --> 01:19:18.740 Nick-- Nick and I got on this cruise by mistake. 01:19:18.750 --> 01:19:22.410 And then I met this girl and she assumed I was gay. 01:19:22.420 --> 01:19:25.680 And then I stupidly went along with it because-- 01:19:25.690 --> 01:19:27.820 She's behind me, isn't she? 01:19:27.820 --> 01:19:30.660 [ Sighs ] 01:19:30.660 --> 01:19:32.460 [ Groans ] 01:19:34.560 --> 01:19:37.230 How could you? 01:19:37.230 --> 01:19:39.870 Gabriella, I'm sorry. 01:19:39.870 --> 01:19:42.870 - I tried to tell you. - You're an asshole, Jerry. 01:19:42.870 --> 01:19:45.700 [ Sighs ] I-- Ow! 01:19:45.710 --> 01:19:47.840 [ Squeals ] [ Felicia ] Oh, oh-- 01:19:47.840 --> 01:19:50.480 Oh! Oh, oh. Not again! 01:19:50.480 --> 01:19:52.980 Oh. 01:19:54.610 --> 01:19:57.750 That was the girl I was talking about. 01:19:57.750 --> 01:20:01.820 Well, looks like you had a dumb fling yourself. 01:20:01.820 --> 01:20:04.720 I tell you what, if you can forgive me, 01:20:04.730 --> 01:20:06.760 I can certainly forgive you. 01:20:06.760 --> 01:20:10.860 And we can get married just like you always wanted, Jerry. 01:20:10.860 --> 01:20:12.830 Oh, I love you, baby. 01:20:12.830 --> 01:20:14.830 What do you say? 01:20:17.400 --> 01:20:19.640 [ Man ] Great. Now one of the bride and groom... 01:20:19.640 --> 01:20:22.940 staring at each other lovingly. 01:20:22.940 --> 01:20:26.010 You look so beautiful. Thank you. 01:20:26.010 --> 01:20:29.010 Why don't we both look beautiful? 01:20:29.020 --> 01:20:31.250 [ Whispering ] Take out that earring. 01:20:31.250 --> 01:20:33.750 Felicia, may I borrow Jerry for a moment? 01:20:33.750 --> 01:20:36.720 Of course, Daddy. 01:20:42.530 --> 01:20:46.270 Jerry, uh, before I walk my baby girl down the aisle, 01:20:46.270 --> 01:20:48.900 tell it to me straight. 01:20:48.900 --> 01:20:52.440 Was this little high-seas adventure of yours really an accident? 01:20:53.910 --> 01:20:56.610 Oh, yes, sir. Definitely an accident. 01:20:56.610 --> 01:20:58.810 Good. Good. Mm-hmm. 01:20:58.810 --> 01:21:01.780 Now remember, report to work the Monday after the honeymoon... 01:21:01.780 --> 01:21:03.980 at 6:00 a.m. sharp. 01:21:03.980 --> 01:21:07.390 Yes, sir. A man with your imagination... 01:21:07.390 --> 01:21:10.520 is really gonna love managing a muffler shop. 01:21:10.520 --> 01:21:14.330 Oh, I'm sure I will, sir. Mm-hmm. 01:21:14.330 --> 01:21:16.300 [ Jerry ] Felicia is good for me. 01:21:20.600 --> 01:21:24.440 She planned this entire wedding all by herself. 01:21:25.810 --> 01:21:29.680 Got me a great job with her father, 01:21:29.680 --> 01:21:32.480 got us a new apartment, picked out all the linens and plates, 01:21:32.480 --> 01:21:34.580 and as our wedding gift, 01:21:34.580 --> 01:21:37.050 she gave me an entire new wardrobe. 01:21:37.050 --> 01:21:39.520 Hmm. 01:21:39.520 --> 01:21:42.650 Yep, the only decision I have left to make for the rest of my life... 01:21:42.660 --> 01:21:45.520 is whether I want to be buried or cremated. 01:21:45.530 --> 01:21:47.890 No, no, I take that back-- 01:21:47.900 --> 01:21:50.500 We're being buried side by side. She told me this morning. 01:22:09.350 --> 01:22:11.550 Hey, Jerry, I'm sorry I'm late. 01:22:11.550 --> 01:22:14.020 I had a little bit of a personal crisis this morning. 01:22:14.020 --> 01:22:16.020 Is everything all right, Pastor? Oh, fine. Fine. 01:22:16.020 --> 01:22:19.590 Just, uh, had a few personal issues I had to clarify, but-- 01:22:19.590 --> 01:22:21.590 Hey, it's your big day. Nothing's gonna spoil it. 01:22:21.600 --> 01:22:23.930 Glad to see you finally made it, Reverend. 01:22:23.930 --> 01:22:26.770 I've got a string quartet back at the Hyatt about to go into golden time. 01:22:26.770 --> 01:22:28.630 Congratulations, sir. Thank you. 01:22:29.840 --> 01:22:31.840 Friends of yours? Yes, sir. 01:22:31.840 --> 01:22:34.470 I met them on the cruise. Oh. 01:22:34.480 --> 01:22:36.780 So you accidentally hopped aboard the Guy-tanic too, huh? 01:22:36.780 --> 01:22:39.010 How's it goin'? 01:22:39.010 --> 01:22:41.410 I guess not. 01:22:41.420 --> 01:22:44.920 Jerry, I'm gonna keep my eye on you. 01:22:44.920 --> 01:22:46.920 What's up, guys? Hey, come here. 01:22:46.920 --> 01:22:48.950 It's important. You're not gonna believe this. 01:22:48.960 --> 01:22:50.960 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 01:22:50.960 --> 01:22:54.790 There is no more sacred contract than the bond of marriage... 01:22:54.800 --> 01:22:57.430 and no more spiritual union... 01:22:57.430 --> 01:23:01.600 than that between a man and a woman. 01:23:01.600 --> 01:23:04.540 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today... 01:23:04.540 --> 01:23:06.410 to bring this man and this woman... 01:23:06.410 --> 01:23:09.780 together in the eyes of-- 01:23:12.110 --> 01:23:14.610 In the eyes of, uh-- 01:23:14.620 --> 01:23:17.150 - God? - God. 01:23:17.150 --> 01:23:18.950 Yeah, yeah. That's what you say. 01:23:18.950 --> 01:23:21.150 No, that's what you say. 01:23:21.160 --> 01:23:23.560 Yeah, yeah. Well, I used to until recently. 01:23:23.560 --> 01:23:26.530 I mean, uh, if there really was a God, 01:23:26.530 --> 01:23:28.430 would he allow my wife to run off with a contractor... 01:23:28.430 --> 01:23:30.600 who overcharged me for a bay window? 01:23:30.600 --> 01:23:34.430 But that's my problem. That's my problem. I'm sorry. It's your day. Where was I? 01:23:34.440 --> 01:23:38.140 Um, a happy marriage is the perfect human relationship, 01:23:38.140 --> 01:23:40.940 a setting in which each partner feels free... 01:23:40.940 --> 01:23:46.140 to be as he or she is under God's bountiful nature. 01:23:46.150 --> 01:23:49.550 That same nature that allowed the number-five horse at Pimlico... 01:23:49.550 --> 01:23:51.950 - to screw me in a photo finish. - [ Clears Throat ] 01:23:51.950 --> 01:23:54.090 I'm sorry. Where was I? Ah, yeah, yeah. 01:23:54.090 --> 01:23:57.760 Um-- Oh-- So if there is anyone present who feels there's a reason... 01:23:57.760 --> 01:24:01.630 that these two people should not be joined together in holy matrimony, 01:24:01.630 --> 01:24:04.200 let them speak now or forever hold their peace. 01:24:09.700 --> 01:24:11.900 [ Minister ] Okay, fine. 01:24:11.910 --> 01:24:15.470 Jerry, then, if there is no objection, turn to Felicia and repeat after me. 01:24:17.240 --> 01:24:20.610 I, Jerry, take you Felicia... 01:24:20.610 --> 01:24:22.710 to be my lawful wedded-- Stop. Wait, wait! 01:24:22.720 --> 01:24:24.850 [ Nick ] Time out! Time out! 01:24:24.850 --> 01:24:27.050 Nick, what are you doing? 01:24:27.050 --> 01:24:29.050 I have to say something. 01:24:29.060 --> 01:24:31.860 If I didn't speak now, I could never live with myself. 01:24:31.860 --> 01:24:37.130 A couple weeks ago, Jerry and I took a cruise together. 01:24:37.130 --> 01:24:40.230 It wasn't the cruise we intended to take, but... 01:24:40.230 --> 01:24:42.700 it was a good thing we got on the wrong boat, because... 01:24:42.700 --> 01:24:44.970 it changed our lives forever. 01:24:44.970 --> 01:24:47.670 Jerry, if you marry Felicia today, 01:24:47.670 --> 01:24:50.110 it will end up in disaster. 01:24:50.110 --> 01:24:53.880 You need to be with the person you fell in love with on that boat. 01:24:54.980 --> 01:24:57.020 And I know it, 01:24:57.020 --> 01:25:00.150 because that person... 01:25:00.150 --> 01:25:02.220 is me. Hmm? 01:25:02.220 --> 01:25:05.920 Oh, oh! [ Screams ] 01:25:05.930 --> 01:25:08.090 How much of that pot did you smoke? 01:25:08.100 --> 01:25:11.530 I know where Gabriella is. If we hurry, we can catch her. 01:25:11.530 --> 01:25:14.200 Jerry, what the hell is wrong with you? 01:25:14.200 --> 01:25:16.900 You can't humiliate me like this in front of my family and my friends! 01:25:16.900 --> 01:25:19.870 My dad is gonna kill you! Come on, Rocco! 01:25:19.870 --> 01:25:23.140 - Come on, boy. - Daddy! 01:25:23.140 --> 01:25:25.680 Move! Move! 01:25:25.680 --> 01:25:28.180 Daddy, do something! ♪ I need love, love ♪ 01:25:28.180 --> 01:25:30.580 ♪ To ease my mind ♪ 01:25:30.580 --> 01:25:35.850 Where's your car? We're not taking my car. We'd never make it across town. 01:25:35.860 --> 01:25:38.060 Yoo-hoo! Boys! Boys. ♪ You can't hurry love ♪ 01:25:38.060 --> 01:25:40.230 ♪ No, you just have to wait ♪ [ Siren Wailing ] 01:25:40.230 --> 01:25:42.230 ♪ She said love don't come easy ♪ 01:25:42.230 --> 01:25:45.630 Hector, you're a fireman. ♪ It's a game of give and take ♪ 01:25:45.630 --> 01:25:49.200 Yes. I'm September in our calendar. ♪ You can't hurry love ♪ 01:25:50.740 --> 01:25:54.970 - Hey, hey! Stop! - Thank you, Ernie, dear. 01:25:54.980 --> 01:25:58.010 Call me! ♪ Well, how many heartaches ♪ 01:25:58.010 --> 01:26:02.150 ♪ Must I stand Before I find the love ♪♪ 01:26:02.150 --> 01:26:05.980 - So where's Gabriella? - She signed up to work another cruise. 01:26:05.990 --> 01:26:09.790 - When does she leave port? - Two hours ago. 01:26:09.790 --> 01:26:12.190 Two hours ago? 01:26:12.190 --> 01:26:15.130 And how am I supposed to find her in the ocean? 01:26:17.160 --> 01:26:20.300 [ Engine Whirring ] 01:26:20.300 --> 01:26:22.300 [ Jerry ] I can't do this! 01:26:22.300 --> 01:26:24.670 Oh, I get motion sickness! 01:26:24.670 --> 01:26:26.870 Yes, you can. Come on, Jerry. 01:26:26.870 --> 01:26:28.770 You're about to be united with the woman you love. 01:26:28.780 --> 01:26:31.340 What do you think? 01:26:31.350 --> 01:26:33.850 Oh-- Why don't you calm down? 01:26:33.850 --> 01:26:36.620 You are in very, very good hands. 01:26:36.620 --> 01:26:38.620 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 01:26:38.620 --> 01:26:40.620 I know you only think of me... 01:26:40.620 --> 01:26:42.920 as a hard-partying old queen, 01:26:42.920 --> 01:26:45.790 but for your information, I spent 32 years... 01:26:45.790 --> 01:26:47.790 in the armed forces... 01:26:47.790 --> 01:26:50.930 serving Her Majesty, the real queen. 01:26:50.930 --> 01:26:54.130 I've seen action in five different theaters of war. 01:26:54.130 --> 01:26:58.200 I've made over 490 drops, 23 over hostile territory. 01:26:58.210 --> 01:27:00.840 I am what you colonials might call... 01:27:00.840 --> 01:27:03.640 a bad-assed motherfucker, 01:27:03.640 --> 01:27:05.980 who also happens to be an expert... 01:27:05.980 --> 01:27:09.710 in the delicate art of Japanese flower arranging. 01:27:09.720 --> 01:27:12.880 Oh. Over the target, Captain. 01:27:12.890 --> 01:27:16.290 Right. It's now or never. Eh-- Aaah! 01:27:16.290 --> 01:27:18.690 Come on, Jerry, get off here. Jump out! 01:27:18.690 --> 01:27:20.890 [ Jerry ] I can't do this! 01:27:20.890 --> 01:27:24.300 [ Nick ] Go get her, Jerry! This is a really bad idea! 01:27:24.300 --> 01:27:28.270 [ Jerry Screaming ] 01:27:28.270 --> 01:27:32.440 Wait! I'm gonna be sick. I mean it. Oh! 01:27:33.370 --> 01:27:35.770 Oh, I felt that one. 01:27:35.780 --> 01:27:38.280 [ Lloyd ] Good Lord, you're a crybaby! 01:27:40.080 --> 01:27:42.680 [ Gabriella's Voice ] Five, six, seven, eight. 01:27:42.680 --> 01:27:46.150 Kick back, head up, down. 01:27:46.150 --> 01:27:48.350 One more time. 01:27:48.360 --> 01:27:51.290 Kick back, head up, down. 01:27:51.290 --> 01:27:54.430 I want it sassy now. Come on. Kick, plié. [ Jerry Shouting, Indistinct ] 01:27:54.430 --> 01:27:58.030 Head up, down. And kick, plié. 01:27:58.030 --> 01:28:00.200 [ Jerry Shouting ] I'm not a person who likes heights! 01:28:00.200 --> 01:28:03.870 Oh, I don't feel so good. I don't feel so good. 01:28:05.170 --> 01:28:08.870 Oh, I hate this! 01:28:08.880 --> 01:28:12.380 [ Screaming ] 01:28:12.380 --> 01:28:15.380 - What is that? - [ Jerry ] I don't like this! 01:28:15.380 --> 01:28:18.380 [ Lloyd ] We're over target. Prepare for release. 01:28:18.390 --> 01:28:20.720 Release! Aaah! 01:28:22.320 --> 01:28:25.420 Ha-ha! Oh, we did it! 01:28:25.430 --> 01:28:28.260 [ Laughing ] I'm so excited! 01:28:28.260 --> 01:28:32.260 If truth be told, I'm more than a little excited myself. 01:28:32.270 --> 01:28:34.400 Oh-- Unhook me, please. 01:28:34.400 --> 01:28:37.200 I don't believe this. 01:28:37.200 --> 01:28:42.140 - Help, please. - This time I'm gonna let you drown. 01:28:42.140 --> 01:28:44.110 Well, you're gonna have to drag me over to the deep end, 01:28:44.110 --> 01:28:46.280 'cause it's only about three-and-a-half feet over here. 01:28:46.280 --> 01:28:49.110 - What are you doing here? - I was in the neighborhood, 01:28:49.120 --> 01:28:52.380 so I figured, well, I'd just drop in. 01:28:52.390 --> 01:28:54.390 Good-bye. 01:28:54.390 --> 01:28:57.020 Uh, Gabriella, wait! Please. 01:28:59.430 --> 01:29:01.830 Mm-hmm? 01:29:01.830 --> 01:29:04.800 I thought I was being reasonably clever... 01:29:04.800 --> 01:29:07.400 considering I just dropped 1,500 feet out of an airplane. 01:29:07.400 --> 01:29:09.900 Why'd you bother? 01:29:22.410 --> 01:29:24.950 Because I love you. 01:29:24.950 --> 01:29:28.790 Who loves me-- gay Jerry as a friend, 01:29:28.790 --> 01:29:33.160 or is this straight, lying, deceitful Jerry? 01:29:33.160 --> 01:29:36.360 Hmm? 01:29:36.360 --> 01:29:38.360 You've never met this Jerry. 01:29:38.370 --> 01:29:42.030 This is the extremely sorry, 01:29:42.040 --> 01:29:45.170 unbelievably heartbroken because you left me, 01:29:45.170 --> 01:29:47.440 will do anything to get you to forgive me... 01:29:47.440 --> 01:29:49.970 because I want to spend the rest of my life with you Jerry. 01:29:52.110 --> 01:29:54.350 Well, you listen to me, Jerry. 01:29:54.350 --> 01:29:56.380 Just because you dropped out of the sky... 01:29:56.380 --> 01:29:59.420 and made this grand romantic gesture... 01:29:59.420 --> 01:30:01.490 doesn't mean that I'm gonna automatically run into your arms. 01:30:01.490 --> 01:30:03.450 Do you understand that? Hmm? 01:30:03.460 --> 01:30:05.920 Yes. Good. 01:30:08.590 --> 01:30:11.930 Okay. I'm probably going to, but you shouldn't automatically expect it. 01:30:11.930 --> 01:30:14.500 Because if we're gonna have the kind of relationship... 01:30:14.500 --> 01:30:16.840 where one day you're gonna be making all these hurtful fantasies-- 01:30:21.440 --> 01:30:24.140 Don't you ever, ever... 01:30:24.140 --> 01:30:26.140 lie to me again. 01:30:26.150 --> 01:30:29.010 I swear. 01:30:36.920 --> 01:30:39.460 I'll never understand it. 01:30:39.460 --> 01:30:41.590 Neither will I. 01:30:59.610 --> 01:31:03.280 [ Nick, Echoing ] Inga! 01:31:04.380 --> 01:31:08.290 No. No. 01:31:08.290 --> 01:31:10.660 No. 01:31:12.960 --> 01:31:15.590 [ Knocking ] 01:31:26.240 --> 01:31:28.240 My God. Oh, my God! 01:31:31.180 --> 01:31:34.180 I'm Nick Ragoni. I'm a friend of your daughter Inga. 01:31:34.180 --> 01:31:37.320 I've traveled 12,000 miles to surprise her. 01:31:37.320 --> 01:31:39.680 You poor thing. You look frozen. Let me help you up. 01:31:41.390 --> 01:31:44.320 [ Groaning ] Let me and my son help you up. 01:31:44.320 --> 01:31:46.220 Johan, come over here. Ja. 01:31:46.230 --> 01:31:48.460 Oh-- 01:31:48.460 --> 01:31:50.660 Come on. 01:31:50.660 --> 01:31:55.030 This man is obviously a fan of smörgåsbord. 01:31:56.170 --> 01:31:58.300 Ingmar, what's going on? 01:31:58.310 --> 01:32:00.970 Oh, Mother, he's an American friend of Inga's. 01:32:00.970 --> 01:32:04.640 Oh, I hope you didn't go too much trouble to get here. 01:32:04.640 --> 01:32:07.110 - Inga's not home. - What? 01:32:07.110 --> 01:32:09.580 She's gone to Italy on a modeling assignment. 01:32:09.580 --> 01:32:13.020 - Won't be back for three months. - Oh, God, no. 01:32:13.020 --> 01:32:16.290 - I can't believe it. - You poor boy. 01:32:16.290 --> 01:32:19.620 You look so cold. You'll join us for dinner. 01:32:19.630 --> 01:32:22.990 Bridgit, get this man some soup from the stove. 01:32:25.660 --> 01:32:30.170 This is Bridgit. She wants to be a bikini model, just like her big sister. 01:32:30.170 --> 01:32:33.270 Nice to meet you. 01:32:33.270 --> 01:32:36.510 And Bridgit's coach will be joining us for dinner too. 01:32:36.510 --> 01:32:39.280 [ Woman Gasps ] 01:32:41.180 --> 01:32:43.480 Oh-- 01:32:43.480 --> 01:32:46.680 Oh, Nicholas. 01:32:46.690 --> 01:32:49.490 Hello. 01:32:49.490 --> 01:32:51.560 We meet again. 01:32:51.584 --> 01:33:11.584 Telegram Channel and Instagram Page .:: @bollbolljan_com ::.