WEBVTT 00:00:07.645 --> 00:00:27.645 ..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::.. ‏.:: www.bolboljan.net ::. 00:01:09.669 --> 00:01:13.072 Where is my bride? 00:01:28.121 --> 00:01:30.689 My wedding dress. Quickly, put it on. 00:01:34.127 --> 00:01:38.664 Soon you'll live your life in jewels and not chains. 00:01:54.814 --> 00:01:56.582 Come, child. 00:01:56.584 --> 00:01:58.684 Your groom awaits you. 00:02:14.734 --> 00:02:16.602 Honeybees, all right, all right! 00:02:16.604 --> 00:02:18.403 Honeybees, all right! 00:02:18.405 --> 00:02:20.439 Whoo! Honeybees, all right, all right! 00:02:20.441 --> 00:02:22.741 Honeybees, all right! Whoo! 00:02:22.743 --> 00:02:24.576 Go... go... Go... go... 00:02:24.578 --> 00:02:26.211 Honeybees! Honeybees! Honeybees! Honeybees! 00:02:28.516 --> 00:02:30.415 You ready, hildenburg? 00:02:30.417 --> 00:02:31.483 Yes. 00:02:31.485 --> 00:02:32.584 Great. 00:02:32.586 --> 00:02:34.419 I have one question. 00:02:34.421 --> 00:02:36.688 Why am I dressed like one of the fenmore foxes? 00:02:36.690 --> 00:02:38.590 Aren't they our hated crosstown rivals? 00:02:38.592 --> 00:02:40.425 Yes... but... 00:02:40.427 --> 00:02:42.728 This year's theme is unity... For all cheerleaders. 00:02:44.598 --> 00:02:46.798 Have fun. 00:02:52.739 --> 00:02:55.707 wipe out the foxes! 00:03:06.287 --> 00:03:08.287 Boys are cheats and liars. 00:03:08.289 --> 00:03:10.455 They're such a big disgrace. 00:03:10.457 --> 00:03:13.692 They will tell you anything to get to second... 00:03:13.694 --> 00:03:16.695 Baseball, baseball, he thinks he's gonna score. 00:03:16.697 --> 00:03:19.565 If you let him go all the way, then you are a... 00:03:19.567 --> 00:03:21.433 Hor... ticulture studies flowers -- 00:03:25.638 --> 00:03:27.339 No, she didn't. 00:03:27.341 --> 00:03:31.710 Girlfriend's Booty be all wrapped up in licious. 00:03:31.712 --> 00:03:33.212 All wrapped up. 00:03:33.214 --> 00:03:35.714 You're pretty dope and phat yourselves. 00:03:35.716 --> 00:03:39.685 Ling-ling! You forgot lunch, baby pie! 00:03:39.687 --> 00:03:41.720 Chicken with fried vegetable, 00:03:41.722 --> 00:03:44.323 bulgogi, and kimchi. 00:03:44.325 --> 00:03:45.591 Thanks, mom. 00:03:45.593 --> 00:03:49.394 Okay. You all learn real good now. 00:03:49.396 --> 00:03:50.629 Ling-ling? Ling-ling? 00:03:50.631 --> 00:03:51.964 Can somebody answer the phone? 00:03:51.966 --> 00:03:53.632 Dang, that's messed up. 00:03:55.502 --> 00:03:57.469 Out of all the Korean liquor stores, 00:03:57.471 --> 00:03:59.571 why did my dad have to walk into that one? 00:03:59.573 --> 00:04:02.608 I'm returning your papers on the Salem witch trials. 00:04:02.610 --> 00:04:07.412 I'm sad to report that Eden, here, got the only "a." 00:04:07.414 --> 00:04:08.914 Well, that's not fair. 00:04:08.916 --> 00:04:12.484 I mean, she was the only one who was actually there. 00:04:24.632 --> 00:04:26.498 Vice-principal Bernard. 00:04:26.500 --> 00:04:29.268 Miss Spencer, wonderful job this morning. 00:04:29.270 --> 00:04:31.737 You certainly know how to whip up a crowd. 00:04:31.739 --> 00:04:34.773 As pretty as you are, I bet you really whipped them up 00:04:34.775 --> 00:04:37.542 back when you were cheerleading captain? 00:04:37.544 --> 00:04:38.910 Me? No, no, no. 00:04:38.912 --> 00:04:41.713 I was much more of a band chick, actually -- tuba -- 00:04:41.715 --> 00:04:44.349 Lead tuba -- honor band. 00:04:44.351 --> 00:04:47.386 well, then you wouldn't mind writing us some passes 00:04:47.388 --> 00:04:49.288 so we could, practice some new moves? 00:04:49.422 --> 00:04:52.057 Jessica, I-i-i don't know about that. 00:04:52.059 --> 00:04:54.860 You know, that trophy is gonna look so good 00:04:54.862 --> 00:04:56.028 in your office. 00:04:57.298 --> 00:04:58.830 All right. 00:05:22.556 --> 00:05:24.556 whoo! 00:05:37.371 --> 00:05:40.038 That's really good. 00:05:40.040 --> 00:05:42.974 Um... how much do I owe you? 00:05:44.077 --> 00:05:46.912 It's okay. It's on the house. 00:05:48.082 --> 00:05:49.448 Really?! 00:05:58.792 --> 00:06:01.693 Who's gonna pay for that, asshole? 00:06:04.664 --> 00:06:07.399 You are not gonna make it in this business. 00:06:07.401 --> 00:06:10.802 you total binger! 00:06:10.804 --> 00:06:14.539 April, this is gonna go straight to your ass. 00:06:16.743 --> 00:06:18.143 "Itchbay" alert. 00:06:19.011 --> 00:06:20.479 Bianca. 00:06:25.785 --> 00:06:28.620 Jessica, you look great! 00:06:28.622 --> 00:06:30.455 Are you doing something different 00:06:30.457 --> 00:06:32.491 or just hanging out with skankier friends? 00:06:34.828 --> 00:06:37.429 Wow, Bianca, you look really good, too. 00:06:37.431 --> 00:06:40.632 Um... are you eating less or just barfing more? 00:06:42.770 --> 00:06:44.002 Barfing more. 00:06:46.639 --> 00:06:48.740 Good luck at the cheer competition. 00:06:48.742 --> 00:06:49.641 Yeah. 00:06:50.777 --> 00:06:51.710 You too. 00:07:03.055 --> 00:07:03.822 Bye-bye. 00:07:04.957 --> 00:07:06.625 Agh! 00:07:06.627 --> 00:07:09.428 My god! 00:07:09.430 --> 00:07:11.663 Let's go, winona. 00:07:21.908 --> 00:07:23.742 Jess, what are you doing? 00:07:23.744 --> 00:07:26.578 Hang on a sec. 00:07:38.591 --> 00:07:40.125 Whoa. 00:07:40.127 --> 00:07:41.793 This is kind of cool. 00:07:41.795 --> 00:07:44.563 can I help you ladies? 00:07:44.565 --> 00:07:45.764 Yeah. What is this? 00:07:45.766 --> 00:07:47.632 Yeah, I like that, too. 00:07:47.634 --> 00:07:50.235 It's actually a senegalese lute 00:07:50.237 --> 00:07:52.170 carved from deerwood, 00:07:52.172 --> 00:07:55.574 used for fertility rituals and... 00:07:55.576 --> 00:07:57.142 Sure. Yeah. Cool. 00:07:57.477 --> 00:08:00.745 And you can put your weed in there. 00:08:03.784 --> 00:08:04.983 Check this out. 00:08:04.985 --> 00:08:07.018 Yeah. That's beautiful. 00:08:07.020 --> 00:08:10.622 It's actually a model of the prison on robben island 00:08:10.624 --> 00:08:13.692 where Nelson Mandela was held 27 years. 00:08:13.694 --> 00:08:17.729 And before the collapse of apartheid, of course. 00:08:17.731 --> 00:08:20.098 Yeah, he came out pretty hate-free, though, 00:08:20.100 --> 00:08:22.100 you know, ready to heal -- 00:08:22.102 --> 00:08:24.870 Went on to become the president of South Africa 00:08:24.872 --> 00:08:27.739 after that -- after they freed him, of course, sure. 00:08:27.741 --> 00:08:28.974 Wow. Yeah. 00:08:28.976 --> 00:08:30.809 A lot of people don't realize this, 00:08:30.811 --> 00:08:33.712 but you can put your weed in there. 00:08:34.882 --> 00:08:37.048 This is great. Sure. 00:08:37.050 --> 00:08:39.718 Well, if you have any more questions, 00:08:39.720 --> 00:08:41.987 I'll be in the back sleeping, so... 00:08:41.989 --> 00:08:43.288 Great. 00:08:43.290 --> 00:08:45.957 Okay. Thanks. 00:08:46.092 --> 00:08:48.793 Actually, this is the back. Sorry. 00:08:50.731 --> 00:08:54.599 This stuff makes me feel so proud to be African-American. 00:08:56.870 --> 00:08:59.638 You walk right by crazy nail, 00:08:59.640 --> 00:09:01.640 no say "hi" me. 00:09:01.642 --> 00:09:03.675 Hi, mom. 00:09:05.678 --> 00:09:07.846 Bye, girls! 00:09:07.848 --> 00:09:09.681 Fake pearls! 00:09:31.270 --> 00:09:34.773 stop banging those drums! 00:09:35.642 --> 00:09:39.044 I didn't even know you could hear that. 00:09:41.013 --> 00:09:44.583 My god. Look at those earrings. 00:09:44.585 --> 00:09:46.851 I'd be the envy of every girl at prom. 00:09:48.689 --> 00:09:50.789 Not like that was in jeopardy or anything. 00:09:52.125 --> 00:09:55.060 Um, excuse me. How much are these? 00:09:55.062 --> 00:09:58.229 Not for sale. That's a genuine artifact. 00:10:06.706 --> 00:10:07.806 No! 00:10:07.940 --> 00:10:09.674 No! 00:10:21.354 --> 00:10:25.290 Okay, I'm all set. 00:10:30.763 --> 00:10:34.666 Is that all you got -- $18?! 00:10:34.668 --> 00:10:36.067 It's a gas station. 00:10:36.069 --> 00:10:38.403 Everybody pays with credit cards nowadays. 00:10:38.405 --> 00:10:40.305 Help yourself to some nachos. 00:10:59.125 --> 00:11:02.127 Hey, that's for Doug flutie's kids! 00:11:08.300 --> 00:11:09.401 Aah! 00:11:12.239 --> 00:11:13.405 Aah! Aah! 00:11:22.249 --> 00:11:23.715 I'm in here! 00:11:23.717 --> 00:11:24.449 help! 00:11:24.451 --> 00:11:25.717 Whoo! 00:11:32.925 --> 00:11:34.325 Agh! 00:11:34.460 --> 00:11:35.760 Agh! 00:11:43.836 --> 00:11:46.037 You look really good. 00:11:46.039 --> 00:11:48.173 Really good. 00:11:50.776 --> 00:11:52.777 Um, excuse me... 00:11:54.347 --> 00:11:56.848 The gas cap's on that side. 00:12:01.087 --> 00:12:03.354 I'm sorry. 00:12:09.261 --> 00:12:11.830 Hello... 00:12:11.832 --> 00:12:13.865 Full service. 00:12:13.867 --> 00:12:16.167 And, um, could you, like, check the oil 00:12:16.169 --> 00:12:18.737 and all that other junk under the hood? 00:12:24.510 --> 00:12:27.445 Like his job is that hard. 00:12:28.949 --> 00:12:32.517 Minimum wage for a maximum loser. 00:12:32.519 --> 00:12:34.285 Good one. 00:12:34.287 --> 00:12:36.421 Hey... check this out. 00:12:43.497 --> 00:12:45.864 Sorry. Accident. 00:12:45.866 --> 00:12:47.866 You're so bad! 00:12:47.868 --> 00:12:49.834 I'm okay. 00:12:49.836 --> 00:12:52.237 It's okay. I'm okay. 00:12:52.239 --> 00:12:54.806 Hey, how much you bet I can get him again? 00:13:07.320 --> 00:13:09.020 Oops. 00:13:11.557 --> 00:13:14.259 whoo! 00:13:53.233 --> 00:13:54.532 I'm so pretty. 00:13:54.534 --> 00:13:55.834 Booger. 00:13:57.571 --> 00:13:59.504 Booger! 00:13:59.506 --> 00:14:02.006 I told you not to go through my stuff. 00:14:02.008 --> 00:14:03.842 What are you doing wearing my bra?! 00:14:03.976 --> 00:14:05.844 I'm not wearing your bra. 00:14:05.846 --> 00:14:08.580 I was simply holding it against myself. 00:14:08.582 --> 00:14:10.481 Get out of my room, you little turd! 00:14:10.483 --> 00:14:12.917 Wait a minute. 00:14:12.919 --> 00:14:14.619 What happened to you? 00:14:14.621 --> 00:14:16.020 Nothing. 00:14:19.459 --> 00:14:21.993 Did that Cavanaugh kid do this to you? 00:14:26.198 --> 00:14:28.967 All right. Come here. 00:14:28.969 --> 00:14:30.969 He is such a punk. 00:14:30.971 --> 00:14:33.338 You know, one of these days, 00:14:33.472 --> 00:14:34.939 he's gonna get it. 00:14:34.941 --> 00:14:36.107 There you go. 00:14:36.109 --> 00:14:37.909 Better. 00:14:39.378 --> 00:14:41.512 Is that my lipstick?! 00:14:47.220 --> 00:14:49.254 Ohhhhh! 00:15:27.559 --> 00:15:29.394 hey. 00:15:29.396 --> 00:15:30.962 Hi. 00:15:41.574 --> 00:15:44.409 Jess, when you do that... 00:15:44.411 --> 00:15:47.378 My whole leg tingles and shakes. 00:15:47.380 --> 00:15:48.613 Really? 00:15:48.615 --> 00:15:52.050 Well, what happens if I kiss you... 00:15:52.184 --> 00:15:53.384 There? 00:15:55.188 --> 00:16:00.391 You have to come snowboarding with me this weekend. 00:16:00.393 --> 00:16:02.694 Silly Billy nilly, 00:16:02.696 --> 00:16:05.563 I told you I'm not having sex with you. 00:16:05.565 --> 00:16:06.965 No. 00:16:06.967 --> 00:16:08.533 We could sip hot chocolate 00:16:08.535 --> 00:16:10.134 and play scrabble with my little brother. 00:16:11.271 --> 00:16:13.438 You call it whatever you want. 00:16:13.440 --> 00:16:15.740 I'm still not having sex with you. 00:16:16.743 --> 00:16:18.176 Billy... 00:16:18.178 --> 00:16:20.511 Look... 00:16:20.513 --> 00:16:23.081 You know how important this is to me. 00:16:23.083 --> 00:16:25.616 And when that special moment happens, 00:16:25.618 --> 00:16:29.354 I just... I want it to be perfect. 00:16:29.455 --> 00:16:33.257 I would never dream of rushing you. 00:16:35.261 --> 00:16:37.195 Thank you, Billy. 00:16:39.032 --> 00:16:42.467 If you change your mind, we could drive up together. 00:16:42.469 --> 00:16:44.335 I'll wait behind for you. 00:16:44.337 --> 00:16:46.504 front... Behind... 00:16:46.506 --> 00:16:48.106 I'm still not doing it. 00:16:51.744 --> 00:16:53.244 Good night, Billy. 00:17:17.637 --> 00:17:19.704 Your life is like a fairytale. 00:17:19.706 --> 00:17:22.507 You and Billy are, like, totally Disney. 00:17:22.641 --> 00:17:24.575 You know, it's scary sometimes. 00:17:24.577 --> 00:17:27.678 I just... I don't know what I'd do 00:17:27.680 --> 00:17:30.648 if things weren't so... Perfect. 00:17:30.783 --> 00:17:34.752 I'm so glad you're my best friend. 00:17:43.763 --> 00:17:45.797 I'll see you tomorrow. 00:17:45.799 --> 00:17:47.632 Okay. Good night. 00:17:47.634 --> 00:17:49.634 Bye. 00:18:45.157 --> 00:18:46.524 Aaaaaaah! 00:18:51.697 --> 00:18:55.199 Aaaaaaaah! 00:18:56.635 --> 00:18:58.603 Aah! 00:19:04.410 --> 00:19:07.245 Aah! Aah! 00:19:07.247 --> 00:19:08.913 Aah! 00:19:08.915 --> 00:19:11.449 Jessica, honey, is everything all right? 00:19:11.451 --> 00:19:12.583 yes, mother. 00:19:12.585 --> 00:19:16.254 It's just a spider. 00:19:16.256 --> 00:19:19.657 A really big, disgusting spider. 00:19:26.666 --> 00:19:29.400 Hi. It's April. Leave me a message. 00:19:29.402 --> 00:19:32.303 This isn't happening. This isn't happening! 00:19:33.673 --> 00:19:36.207 It's sick! 00:19:36.341 --> 00:19:38.843 Sick! 00:19:56.729 --> 00:19:58.462 Ooh! 00:20:24.356 --> 00:20:27.425 Hey, dad! Can I have this cake for breakfast? 00:20:27.427 --> 00:20:30.828 yeah. Whatever. Go for it. 00:20:33.532 --> 00:20:35.600 Booger, what the hell are you doing 00:20:35.602 --> 00:20:38.502 eating my boss's cake? 00:20:40.572 --> 00:20:43.574 I-I thought you just said I could eat it. 00:20:55.321 --> 00:20:56.587 Ooh. 00:20:56.589 --> 00:20:58.422 God... 00:21:01.994 --> 00:21:03.995 Where's my...?! 00:21:09.702 --> 00:21:13.604 April, it's me -- Jessica. 00:21:13.606 --> 00:21:15.740 I need you to meet me right after class out by the track. 00:21:15.742 --> 00:21:17.975 Is this really Jessica? 00:21:17.977 --> 00:21:21.445 My god, are you getting a cold? 00:21:21.447 --> 00:21:23.581 The competition's only a week away. 00:21:23.583 --> 00:21:25.850 We may have bigger problems. 00:21:35.294 --> 00:21:37.395 April... 00:21:40.732 --> 00:21:43.034 April... 00:21:43.036 --> 00:21:45.670 April! 00:21:45.672 --> 00:21:47.605 Agh! 00:21:48.975 --> 00:21:50.608 Whoa! 00:21:53.312 --> 00:21:54.612 You stay away from me! 00:21:54.614 --> 00:21:57.515 I have pepper spray on my key chain! 00:22:00.652 --> 00:22:04.789 April, I need you so bad right now. 00:22:04.791 --> 00:22:06.457 You have no idea. 00:22:06.459 --> 00:22:07.992 How do you know my name? 00:22:10.362 --> 00:22:13.597 It's me... 00:22:13.599 --> 00:22:15.666 Jessica! 00:22:18.937 --> 00:22:21.605 I'm in here. 00:22:24.110 --> 00:22:25.876 What did you do with her? 00:22:27.379 --> 00:22:29.780 I don't know what happened. 00:22:29.782 --> 00:22:33.117 I woke up this morning... 00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:35.920 Like this. 00:22:35.922 --> 00:22:37.021 Aah! 00:22:38.791 --> 00:22:41.625 And what did I tell you about these things?! Aah! Aah! 00:22:41.627 --> 00:22:43.661 They go straight to your ass! 00:22:43.663 --> 00:22:45.663 People are gonna be looking for me! 00:22:45.665 --> 00:22:47.665 You gotta believe me! I'm warning you! 00:22:47.667 --> 00:22:49.667 Please, I'm Jessica! Aah! 00:22:49.669 --> 00:22:51.936 Aah! Aaah! Aaaaaaah! 00:22:51.938 --> 00:22:54.739 Agh! Agh! 00:22:54.741 --> 00:22:57.041 Aaah!! 00:23:11.056 --> 00:23:12.923 Aah! 00:23:12.925 --> 00:23:15.826 Aah! 00:23:15.828 --> 00:23:18.129 Aah! Agh! 00:23:18.463 --> 00:23:19.764 Agh! 00:23:29.107 --> 00:23:31.442 my god! 00:23:33.712 --> 00:23:36.147 I think I broke a rib! 00:23:36.149 --> 00:23:39.650 My eyes burn! 00:23:39.652 --> 00:23:43.754 I can't breathe! 00:23:44.790 --> 00:23:49.126 This morning, I woke up a man! 00:23:49.461 --> 00:23:54.498 This is by far the worst day of my life! 00:23:56.668 --> 00:24:00.438 April! 00:24:00.440 --> 00:24:03.641 Do you remember in second grade 00:24:03.643 --> 00:24:07.077 when you moved here from Arkansas? 00:24:07.079 --> 00:24:11.115 Everybody threw rocks at you... 00:24:11.117 --> 00:24:13.484 Because you talked funny 00:24:13.618 --> 00:24:16.687 and your front two teeth were brown! 00:24:23.094 --> 00:24:26.730 I was your only friend. 00:24:31.770 --> 00:24:35.539 I gave you that locket around your neck 00:24:35.674 --> 00:24:38.676 when your grandmother was sick. 00:24:38.678 --> 00:24:41.812 And you said... 00:24:41.814 --> 00:24:43.747 You said... 00:24:47.018 --> 00:24:50.120 We'd be bestest friends forever. 00:25:03.268 --> 00:25:05.636 Boys are cheats and liars. 00:25:05.638 --> 00:25:08.572 They're such a big disgrace. 00:25:08.707 --> 00:25:12.276 They will tell you anything to get to second... 00:25:12.278 --> 00:25:17.248 Baseball, baseball, he thinks he's gonna score. 00:25:17.250 --> 00:25:21.619 If you let him go all the way, then you are a... 00:25:21.753 --> 00:25:23.821 Hor... ticulture studies flowers. 00:25:23.823 --> 00:25:25.956 Geologist studies rocks. 00:25:25.958 --> 00:25:28.058 The only thing a guy wants from you 00:25:28.060 --> 00:25:29.193 is place to put his... 00:25:29.195 --> 00:25:30.828 Cock... roaches, beetles, 00:25:30.830 --> 00:25:32.696 butterflies, and bugs. 00:25:32.698 --> 00:25:35.165 Nothing makes him happier than a giant pair of... 00:25:35.167 --> 00:25:38.702 Jug... glers and acrobats, a dancing bear named Chuck. 00:25:38.704 --> 00:25:42.706 All guys really want to do is -- Forget it, no such luck. 00:25:47.246 --> 00:25:48.879 My god! 00:25:48.881 --> 00:25:51.782 My god! 00:25:55.954 --> 00:25:57.788 How did this happen? 00:25:59.624 --> 00:26:01.759 I don't know what to do. 00:26:01.761 --> 00:26:03.027 Okay, okay. 00:26:06.632 --> 00:26:07.831 Here. 00:26:07.833 --> 00:26:09.733 Go to my house and wait for me in my room. 00:26:09.735 --> 00:26:13.771 Don't worry. We're gonna figure this thing out. 00:26:13.872 --> 00:26:15.673 Here. 00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:25.716 You are my bestest, bestest friend. 00:26:29.822 --> 00:26:31.922 Watch the beard. 00:26:31.924 --> 00:26:33.824 Sorry. 00:26:52.811 --> 00:26:54.011 hi. 00:26:55.681 --> 00:26:57.881 Okay, so, listen, she bought it. 00:26:57.883 --> 00:27:01.151 I told your mom that you're going on that ski trip with Billy's family, 00:27:01.286 --> 00:27:03.187 and that'll at least buy us the weekend. 00:27:03.189 --> 00:27:05.389 You think I'll be stuck like this all weekend?! 00:27:19.237 --> 00:27:21.905 Aah! 00:27:25.945 --> 00:27:27.077 Gross. 00:27:28.748 --> 00:27:30.781 Agh! 00:27:30.783 --> 00:27:32.750 I've got hair everywhere -- 00:27:32.752 --> 00:27:36.420 In my nose, in my ears, on my chin. 00:27:36.422 --> 00:27:38.288 I'm afraid to look anywhere else. 00:27:39.825 --> 00:27:41.659 It's like I'm an ad for hair. 00:27:41.661 --> 00:27:44.928 Okay, well, listen, maybe this will help. 00:27:44.930 --> 00:27:47.931 Okay. 00:27:51.170 --> 00:27:52.936 Yeah. 00:27:52.938 --> 00:27:55.339 Okay. Against the grain. 00:27:55.341 --> 00:27:56.774 Okay, ready? 00:27:56.776 --> 00:27:58.342 Hold still. 00:27:58.344 --> 00:27:59.677 aaah! 00:27:59.679 --> 00:28:03.047 Grrrah! Agh! 00:28:10.990 --> 00:28:12.723 So... 00:28:16.294 --> 00:28:19.163 So... 00:28:21.232 --> 00:28:22.800 What? 00:28:22.802 --> 00:28:25.469 Do you really have a penis? 00:28:27.472 --> 00:28:28.872 April! 00:28:28.874 --> 00:28:30.941 Can I see it? 00:28:30.943 --> 00:28:33.043 What is the matter with you?! 00:28:33.045 --> 00:28:36.380 I don't think you get the gravity of the situation here. 00:28:36.382 --> 00:28:39.783 You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. 00:28:39.785 --> 00:28:40.818 I'm sorry. 00:28:42.087 --> 00:28:43.153 Can I see it? 00:28:43.155 --> 00:28:45.723 W-- what is your problem? 00:28:45.725 --> 00:28:47.157 What? 00:28:47.159 --> 00:28:49.493 It's not every day that your best friend grows a penis. 00:28:50.762 --> 00:28:51.995 Do you want to see it? 00:28:53.832 --> 00:28:55.833 Okay, fine -- 00:28:55.835 --> 00:28:58.268 If it'll shut you up. 00:29:09.882 --> 00:29:11.515 Nice. 00:29:11.517 --> 00:29:14.485 Nice. 00:29:15.887 --> 00:29:18.055 I mean, you know... 00:29:18.057 --> 00:29:21.925 I've only seen a couple, but that's definitely top 5. 00:29:21.927 --> 00:29:24.128 How many have you seen? 00:29:24.130 --> 00:29:25.429 Five. 00:29:25.431 --> 00:29:27.364 Not including my little brother's. 00:29:28.434 --> 00:29:31.001 You little tramp! 00:29:31.003 --> 00:29:31.935 Aah! 00:29:31.937 --> 00:29:33.904 aah! Aah! 00:29:33.906 --> 00:29:35.539 Aah! 00:29:36.307 --> 00:29:37.441 Aaah! 00:29:37.443 --> 00:29:38.909 Aah! Aah! 00:29:40.278 --> 00:29:44.148 Motherfuck!! 00:29:45.950 --> 00:29:47.451 Stan... 00:29:47.453 --> 00:29:49.520 I am beginning to worry about April. 00:29:49.522 --> 00:29:51.922 She has been acting rather strange. 00:29:52.056 --> 00:29:54.057 Is it drugs? No, no. 00:29:54.192 --> 00:29:57.795 I... i think it's her hormonal development. 00:29:57.797 --> 00:30:00.864 She just ate six peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches 00:30:00.866 --> 00:30:03.433 and an entire carton of ice cream. 00:30:05.870 --> 00:30:08.138 And what do you make of this? 00:30:08.140 --> 00:30:09.973 It's April's soap. 00:30:09.975 --> 00:30:11.875 Well? 00:30:11.877 --> 00:30:13.243 What do you think? 00:30:13.245 --> 00:30:17.014 I think you need more things to fill out your day. 00:30:19.384 --> 00:30:21.084 Okay? 00:30:21.086 --> 00:30:22.419 Are we done? 00:30:32.097 --> 00:30:33.230 Hello? 00:30:35.601 --> 00:30:37.367 All right, who is this? 00:30:39.137 --> 00:30:42.506 I should have made love to you when I had the chance. 00:30:46.277 --> 00:30:48.245 Father mulcahy? 00:31:00.059 --> 00:31:02.526 tell me I'm beautiful. 00:31:03.995 --> 00:31:06.496 On the inside. 00:31:09.434 --> 00:31:11.168 Look... 00:31:11.170 --> 00:31:13.570 Jessica has a problem. 00:31:13.572 --> 00:31:15.939 She's only gonna make us wait an hour this time? 00:31:15.941 --> 00:31:18.242 What about the class trip to six flags? 00:31:18.244 --> 00:31:20.878 She took so long in the bathroom, we all missed the bus. 00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:23.513 Our parents had to drive three hours to pick us up. 00:31:23.515 --> 00:31:27.117 I had my period, okay?! 00:31:40.465 --> 00:31:42.666 Okay, now that everybody's up to speed, 00:31:42.668 --> 00:31:45.135 can we start thinking about how I can get my life back? 00:31:45.137 --> 00:31:48.372 Um, that's definitely gonna cost you a few votes for prom queen. 00:31:48.374 --> 00:31:49.339 Yeah. 00:31:51.976 --> 00:31:53.477 Okay. 00:31:53.479 --> 00:31:55.646 Come on, you guys, let's get serious. Stop dicking around. 00:31:57.616 --> 00:31:59.683 Guys! 00:32:00.018 --> 00:32:03.287 I've got cheerleading competition, the prom. 00:32:03.289 --> 00:32:06.123 None of my clothes fit. I think I'm going bald. 00:32:06.257 --> 00:32:08.225 And how am I gonna go to school? 00:32:08.227 --> 00:32:09.993 She's right. 00:32:09.995 --> 00:32:11.395 Okay... 00:32:11.397 --> 00:32:13.096 Let's think. 00:32:13.098 --> 00:32:15.699 What could have caused this? 00:32:21.439 --> 00:32:24.408 maybe it wasn't an accident. 00:32:26.711 --> 00:32:29.246 It's gotta be one of the people who hates Jessica that did this. 00:32:29.248 --> 00:32:30.314 Yeah. 00:32:30.316 --> 00:32:31.448 What are you talking about? 00:32:32.483 --> 00:32:34.184 People don't hate me. 00:32:39.558 --> 00:32:41.658 You see, Jess... 00:32:41.660 --> 00:32:44.962 Because you are so beautiful and perfect... 00:32:46.631 --> 00:32:48.565 Certain people might misconstrue 00:32:48.567 --> 00:32:52.002 some of the mean and hurtful things you say and do to them. 00:32:52.004 --> 00:32:54.671 Although the things you say are funny... 00:32:56.108 --> 00:32:58.342 People tend to focus more 00:32:58.344 --> 00:33:01.411 on their own public humiliation and shame. 00:33:01.413 --> 00:33:03.680 So you're saying... 00:33:03.682 --> 00:33:05.549 People think... 00:33:05.551 --> 00:33:06.616 I'm perfect? 00:33:08.553 --> 00:33:11.321 Let's make a list of all the people who hate Jessica. 00:33:11.323 --> 00:33:13.623 You know what would be a shorter list? 00:33:13.625 --> 00:33:16.326 All the people who don't hate Jessica. 00:33:17.129 --> 00:33:18.362 You bitch! 00:33:31.009 --> 00:33:34.177 Easy on the coffee. 00:33:37.649 --> 00:33:39.082 Ha ha ha ha! 00:33:39.084 --> 00:33:40.384 Ho ho ho! 00:33:46.558 --> 00:33:48.025 Aah! 00:33:48.027 --> 00:33:49.126 Ha ha ha! 00:33:49.560 --> 00:33:50.727 Aah! 00:33:50.729 --> 00:33:52.362 Ha ha ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 00:33:54.532 --> 00:33:56.700 Agh! 00:34:24.696 --> 00:34:25.829 Hi. 00:34:25.831 --> 00:34:27.464 Good morning. 00:34:28.700 --> 00:34:30.634 Did you sleep well? 00:34:30.636 --> 00:34:33.737 Surprisingly, yes. 00:34:35.640 --> 00:34:37.774 You have any... 00:34:37.776 --> 00:34:39.843 Special dreams? 00:34:41.245 --> 00:34:42.813 Not particularly. 00:34:44.550 --> 00:34:45.649 You sure? 00:34:45.651 --> 00:34:48.418 Why? 00:34:53.424 --> 00:34:55.392 My god, my first boner! 00:35:06.204 --> 00:35:07.671 There you are! 00:35:07.673 --> 00:35:09.439 You're the gardener from the service, right? 00:35:10.741 --> 00:35:12.509 sí. 00:35:12.511 --> 00:35:14.411 Damn lawn's a mess. 00:35:14.512 --> 00:35:16.746 It's my daughter's responsibility to look after it, 00:35:16.748 --> 00:35:18.148 but you know teenage girls. 00:35:18.150 --> 00:35:19.516 Sí, sí. 00:35:19.650 --> 00:35:21.551 "Teenageros." 00:35:21.553 --> 00:35:23.887 Sorry. Richie Spencer. 00:35:23.889 --> 00:35:27.691 Um... 00:35:27.693 --> 00:35:29.226 Taquito. 00:35:29.228 --> 00:35:30.861 Taquito. 00:35:30.863 --> 00:35:32.562 There's the mower. 00:35:32.564 --> 00:35:34.865 There's your bag of fertilizer. 00:35:34.867 --> 00:35:37.167 Ho! I'll let you get to it. 00:35:53.284 --> 00:35:56.753 Damn, I love the smell of fresh-cut grass. 00:36:01.693 --> 00:36:04.895 Gracias, but... I'm not sure I'm old enough, señor. 00:36:04.897 --> 00:36:06.563 yeah, right. 00:36:06.565 --> 00:36:09.399 What is the drinking age in Mexico -- 40? 00:36:09.401 --> 00:36:12.302 Come on, take a load off. You can finish in a minute. 00:36:15.841 --> 00:36:17.607 Hope you don't mind the light beer. 00:36:17.609 --> 00:36:19.576 I had to cut back on account of the bloating. 00:36:19.578 --> 00:36:21.444 Know what I mean? 00:36:21.446 --> 00:36:23.647 I also had to give up the spicy food on account of my asshole. 00:36:25.817 --> 00:36:28.518 We're amongst men, aren't we? 00:36:30.556 --> 00:36:32.656 "Stinko de Mayo." 00:36:32.658 --> 00:36:33.723 You like that car? 00:36:33.725 --> 00:36:35.258 That's my daughter's. 00:36:35.260 --> 00:36:36.626 Pretty nice? 00:36:36.628 --> 00:36:38.328 It would have looked even better in red. 00:36:38.330 --> 00:36:40.931 That's what my daughter said. 00:36:42.500 --> 00:36:44.968 We used to go out back on Sundays and toss a few baskets, 00:36:44.970 --> 00:36:46.670 shoot the shit. 00:36:46.672 --> 00:36:48.705 But she's got her own stuff going on now. 00:36:48.707 --> 00:36:50.907 Who could blame her? Whole family's falling apart. 00:36:50.909 --> 00:36:53.310 What? 00:36:53.312 --> 00:36:55.712 Things with the wife -- Forget about it. 00:36:55.714 --> 00:36:57.681 I mean, we sleep in the same bed. 00:36:57.683 --> 00:37:00.283 Might as well be separate countries. 00:37:00.285 --> 00:37:03.720 That is, like, so sad. 00:37:04.956 --> 00:37:06.823 Ay-yi-yi! 00:37:06.825 --> 00:37:08.892 Ay-yi... yi. 00:37:09.227 --> 00:37:12.229 I tried everything. Nothing worked. 00:37:12.231 --> 00:37:14.764 I even got out the razor and gave myself a porn-star trim. 00:37:14.766 --> 00:37:16.800 Wanna see? Check it out. 00:37:16.802 --> 00:37:18.268 Aah! 00:37:19.604 --> 00:37:21.671 Boy, she used to be wild. 00:37:21.673 --> 00:37:23.607 The sex was great. 00:37:23.609 --> 00:37:25.842 We'd be going at it, and she could still find a way 00:37:25.844 --> 00:37:27.577 to twist around and kiss me on the mouth. 00:37:27.579 --> 00:37:30.647 Señor, information too mucho. 00:37:30.649 --> 00:37:33.617 Emotional "scarro" -- Disgusting. 00:37:33.619 --> 00:37:35.252 It's good talking to you, taquito. 00:38:08.053 --> 00:38:10.520 Hey, Jessica! Jessica! 00:38:10.522 --> 00:38:11.688 Come here! 00:38:13.325 --> 00:38:15.558 We've got a suspect. 00:38:15.560 --> 00:38:17.060 Yes! 00:38:17.062 --> 00:38:18.762 Come on. 00:38:21.432 --> 00:38:23.767 Something smells like dog pooh. 00:38:23.769 --> 00:38:26.569 I think I'm sitting next to it. 00:38:26.571 --> 00:38:29.372 Ew! 00:38:29.374 --> 00:38:31.741 Come on, hildenburg, don't play dumb. 00:38:31.743 --> 00:38:34.711 You hate Jessica, you're good at this science crap. 00:38:34.713 --> 00:38:37.047 Now, just confess and give us the antidote. 00:38:37.049 --> 00:38:38.982 April, it's physically impossible 00:38:38.984 --> 00:38:41.351 for a woman to transform into a man overnight. 00:38:41.353 --> 00:38:44.621 So you're saying that you had nothing to do with this. 00:38:44.623 --> 00:38:46.656 Look... 00:38:46.658 --> 00:38:49.626 Let's just pretend this was an alternate universe 00:38:49.628 --> 00:38:52.329 where I actually believed you. 00:38:52.331 --> 00:38:55.565 Why would I want to help Jessica out, anyway? 00:38:58.670 --> 00:38:59.803 Jessica! 00:39:06.043 --> 00:39:07.777 Hildenburg... 00:39:09.714 --> 00:39:12.549 I'm sorry that I humiliated you 00:39:12.551 --> 00:39:14.984 in front of the entire school... 00:39:14.986 --> 00:39:17.721 And the visiting 8th-graders. 00:39:19.457 --> 00:39:24.694 but you have no idea what it's like 00:39:24.696 --> 00:39:29.666 to wake up every morning and have to shave your chin. 00:39:37.776 --> 00:39:39.743 yes, I do. 00:39:47.518 --> 00:39:49.586 Who's next on the list? 00:39:49.588 --> 00:39:51.154 whoa. 00:39:51.156 --> 00:39:54.424 Well, it is cold in here. 00:39:55.861 --> 00:39:57.627 So you never put a hex on me? 00:39:57.629 --> 00:39:59.496 I put plenty of hexes on you -- 00:39:59.498 --> 00:40:02.532 To give you dandruff, make your hair fall out, 00:40:02.534 --> 00:40:05.068 make one of your boobs bigger than the other. 00:40:05.070 --> 00:40:07.570 I think you got me with that one. 00:40:07.572 --> 00:40:09.939 Heh hee hee! Hee hee! 00:40:13.678 --> 00:40:17.847 There's some powerful cult magic at work here... 00:40:17.982 --> 00:40:19.816 Like an ancient spell... 00:40:19.818 --> 00:40:21.551 Or voodoo... 00:40:21.553 --> 00:40:23.787 Or santeria. 00:40:23.789 --> 00:40:25.889 What's santeria? 00:40:25.891 --> 00:40:28.591 It's a Latin-based form of witchcraft. 00:40:28.726 --> 00:40:30.093 It originated in Africa 00:40:30.095 --> 00:40:33.663 and then eventually made its way to Cuba and Brazil. 00:40:33.665 --> 00:40:34.964 Bianca! 00:40:34.966 --> 00:40:36.533 I knew it. 00:40:36.535 --> 00:40:37.767 Most of its rituals involve a chicken. 00:40:37.769 --> 00:40:40.203 That sounds delicious. 00:40:41.605 --> 00:40:43.740 I mean, interesting. 00:40:43.742 --> 00:40:45.141 there's a way to tell. 00:40:45.143 --> 00:40:47.477 A true practitioner of santeria 00:40:47.479 --> 00:40:51.014 bears the Mark of the scorpion tattooed on their back. 00:40:51.016 --> 00:40:52.682 Bianca's always hanging out 00:40:52.684 --> 00:40:54.884 at that dance club -- Instant tang. 00:40:55.019 --> 00:40:57.654 Yeah, tonight's ladies' night, and we all get in for free! 00:41:03.628 --> 00:41:06.162 Well, most of us. 00:41:06.164 --> 00:41:08.064 Trust me -- 00:41:08.066 --> 00:41:10.934 You'll never get Bianca to dance with you looking like this. 00:41:21.079 --> 00:41:23.179 No... no... 00:41:33.191 --> 00:41:35.658 What is that? 00:41:38.163 --> 00:41:40.196 No... no... no... 00:42:01.652 --> 00:42:03.019 what? 00:42:03.021 --> 00:42:05.889 Nothing. 00:42:05.891 --> 00:42:07.824 You just look good. 00:42:09.094 --> 00:42:10.093 Really? 00:42:10.095 --> 00:42:11.694 Yeah. 00:42:13.565 --> 00:42:15.632 Okay. Thanks. 00:42:17.269 --> 00:42:20.236 No, she's not gonna... No, he -- she's not gonna do it. 00:42:22.706 --> 00:42:23.973 Yes, she is. 00:42:31.950 --> 00:42:33.283 Wow! 00:42:33.285 --> 00:42:35.618 That is so good. 00:42:36.654 --> 00:42:38.087 T-that's $8.95. 00:42:40.791 --> 00:42:41.891 What? 00:42:43.193 --> 00:42:45.828 Aren't you just gonna take it out of your tip jar? 00:42:45.830 --> 00:42:46.996 Aah! 00:42:46.998 --> 00:42:49.132 $8.95? Yeah. 00:42:49.134 --> 00:42:50.633 I got that. 00:43:28.238 --> 00:43:30.707 I'll take two banana daiquiris, 00:43:30.841 --> 00:43:32.976 one mango, a sloe-gin fizz, 00:43:32.978 --> 00:43:34.744 one slippery nipple, 00:43:34.746 --> 00:43:39.148 a screaming orgasm on the beach with extra sugar on the rim. 00:43:39.150 --> 00:43:41.050 Yum! 00:43:49.693 --> 00:43:52.795 Better make that last one a brewski. 00:43:56.001 --> 00:43:57.700 double brewski. 00:44:05.210 --> 00:44:07.243 they didn't even card me. 00:44:07.245 --> 00:44:09.278 It's just like cabo. 00:44:16.655 --> 00:44:19.355 how does a butt plug like that get all those hot chicks? 00:44:19.357 --> 00:44:21.090 I got dibs on the dots. 00:44:22.661 --> 00:44:24.761 god damn! 00:44:24.763 --> 00:44:26.963 Ooh, he's cute. 00:44:26.965 --> 00:44:29.732 Check out the sweet buns on that guy. 00:44:29.734 --> 00:44:32.802 I'd like to get my hands on those and... 00:44:32.804 --> 00:44:35.705 wish they were women's breasts 00:44:35.707 --> 00:44:38.741 and... squeeze the hell out of 'em. 00:44:38.743 --> 00:44:41.344 Maybe put a steak on 'em... 00:44:41.346 --> 00:44:43.713 'Cause I'm a guy. 00:44:43.715 --> 00:44:46.382 That's what guys like me like to do. 00:44:46.384 --> 00:44:49.686 But I don't need to tell you that. 00:44:55.225 --> 00:44:57.260 Bianca. 00:45:00.365 --> 00:45:01.864 I'll show her. 00:45:01.866 --> 00:45:03.332 This is my song. 00:45:05.003 --> 00:45:08.771 remember, the scorpion on her back. 00:45:08.773 --> 00:45:10.039 I'll find it. 00:45:31.896 --> 00:45:33.830 ew! 00:45:37.468 --> 00:45:39.135 The tattoo! 00:45:39.137 --> 00:45:40.803 I don't see it! 00:45:48.179 --> 00:45:49.512 Right hand, red. 00:45:49.514 --> 00:45:51.147 Ooh... left hand, blue. 00:45:54.785 --> 00:45:55.818 Ooh! 00:45:58.355 --> 00:45:59.489 Ha! 00:46:01.291 --> 00:46:02.325 Aaaaaah! 00:46:38.496 --> 00:46:40.029 It's definitely not her. 00:46:40.031 --> 00:46:42.331 Don't worry. We'll figure this out. 00:46:42.333 --> 00:46:43.566 You're a great dancer. 00:46:43.568 --> 00:46:45.935 You're just noticing that now? 00:46:47.438 --> 00:46:49.839 I gotta hit the little girls' room 00:46:49.841 --> 00:46:51.240 before I soak my panties. 00:46:54.178 --> 00:46:56.846 Um... 00:46:56.848 --> 00:46:58.548 by that, I mean... 00:46:58.550 --> 00:47:01.851 My girlfriend's panties... 00:47:01.853 --> 00:47:03.486 Which I carry with me... 00:47:03.821 --> 00:47:05.254 To pee in... 00:47:05.256 --> 00:47:06.923 If I don't make it in time... 00:47:07.057 --> 00:47:08.925 To the bathroom. 00:47:08.927 --> 00:47:10.459 What? 00:47:10.461 --> 00:47:12.895 You don't pee in your girlfriend's panties? 00:47:12.897 --> 00:47:15.064 What kind of gay club is this? 00:47:15.066 --> 00:47:19.135 Hey, everybody, check out this guy -- 00:47:19.137 --> 00:47:23.272 Not peeing in his chick's panties. 00:47:35.285 --> 00:47:37.119 excuse me... 00:47:37.254 --> 00:47:39.555 Do you have to be in here for this? 00:47:39.557 --> 00:47:41.557 Well, it's part of my job description, 00:47:41.559 --> 00:47:44.093 but if you're one of those shy guys, 00:47:44.095 --> 00:47:46.062 you try that stall there. 00:47:49.033 --> 00:47:52.034 There's someone in there. 00:47:52.036 --> 00:47:54.337 And they're gonna be in there for a long time, too. 00:47:54.339 --> 00:47:56.539 I told him to stay away from the calamari. 00:47:59.344 --> 00:48:02.578 Some folks think they can eat anything that crawls. 00:48:12.456 --> 00:48:13.890 Would you mind? 00:48:31.508 --> 00:48:32.508 Ooh!! 00:48:32.510 --> 00:48:34.176 Ooh, hoo! 00:48:38.249 --> 00:48:41.317 Excuse me? 00:48:41.319 --> 00:48:43.319 Why is there ice in there? 00:48:43.321 --> 00:48:45.688 Ooh! I wouldn't have done that. 00:48:59.436 --> 00:49:02.004 You're good at that. 00:49:02.006 --> 00:49:04.640 You make it look so easy. 00:49:14.518 --> 00:49:15.985 Why don't you just take a picture? 00:49:20.691 --> 00:49:23.259 all right. 00:49:23.261 --> 00:49:24.593 Here goes. 00:49:24.595 --> 00:49:29.398 Disgusting! Wrinkly! Gross! 00:49:29.400 --> 00:49:30.633 Ew! 00:49:32.370 --> 00:49:35.671 I've never done this before. 00:49:35.673 --> 00:49:37.006 It's going all over. 00:49:37.008 --> 00:49:39.408 It's always good to aim at something, 00:49:39.410 --> 00:49:42.278 like that cigarette there... Or the big mint. 00:49:42.280 --> 00:49:43.679 It's going everywhere! 00:49:43.681 --> 00:49:45.748 You got to hold on to it. 00:49:45.750 --> 00:49:49.518 not too tight, but enough to let it know you're the boss. 00:49:52.757 --> 00:49:54.657 See that fly? 00:49:54.659 --> 00:49:56.559 Aim for it. 00:49:56.561 --> 00:49:58.694 That's -- that's helping. 00:49:58.696 --> 00:50:00.096 That's it. 00:50:01.631 --> 00:50:04.133 Remember, if you shake it more than twice, 00:50:04.267 --> 00:50:05.501 you're playing with it. 00:50:18.349 --> 00:50:20.716 I don't know how I could ever thank you. 00:50:31.528 --> 00:50:32.661 Hi! 00:50:32.663 --> 00:50:34.430 That was an experience. 00:50:34.432 --> 00:50:35.498 Here's your drink. 00:50:35.500 --> 00:50:37.033 Is there any ice in here? 00:50:37.035 --> 00:50:37.800 No. 00:50:37.802 --> 00:50:39.368 Thank god! 00:50:39.370 --> 00:50:41.537 Hey... aren't you that chick 00:50:41.539 --> 00:50:44.373 who's having sex with that college guy? 00:50:44.375 --> 00:50:45.441 No! 00:50:45.443 --> 00:50:46.575 Wanna be? 00:50:52.716 --> 00:50:55.518 She's not interested, okay? 00:50:55.520 --> 00:50:57.720 So why don't you just back off? 00:50:58.755 --> 00:51:00.456 Okay, grandpa. 00:51:00.458 --> 00:51:03.626 What are you, their pimp, and these are your skank hoes? 00:51:11.468 --> 00:51:15.104 You and me, right now -- Let's go. 00:51:16.440 --> 00:51:17.573 Where we going? 00:51:18.643 --> 00:51:20.376 Aah! No! 00:51:28.351 --> 00:51:30.119 Jess! 00:51:32.123 --> 00:51:34.457 Come on, Jess. Come on! You can do it. 00:51:34.459 --> 00:51:36.292 What do you got, geezer? Come on! 00:51:38.596 --> 00:51:39.562 You can do it! Come on! 00:51:39.564 --> 00:51:41.163 Show me what you got! 00:51:41.165 --> 00:51:42.631 Come on! 00:51:46.670 --> 00:51:48.170 What the... 00:51:48.172 --> 00:51:49.338 What's he doing? 00:51:49.340 --> 00:51:50.739 Some kind of tae-queer-do. 00:51:52.243 --> 00:51:53.209 That's it! 00:51:54.178 --> 00:51:56.212 No! Aaah! 00:52:04.689 --> 00:52:06.322 Aah! 00:52:08.860 --> 00:52:10.392 Ha ha! 00:52:10.394 --> 00:52:11.660 Yeah! 00:52:13.396 --> 00:52:14.630 Yeah! 00:52:14.632 --> 00:52:16.298 Jess! 00:52:17.335 --> 00:52:18.601 Ooh, yeah! Yeah! Yes! 00:52:20.671 --> 00:52:24.473 That really does hurt. 00:52:24.475 --> 00:52:27.476 Thanks for sticking up for me. 00:52:27.478 --> 00:52:29.778 Now go kick some ass. 00:52:35.185 --> 00:52:36.619 Aah!! 00:52:42.727 --> 00:52:44.160 Aah! 00:52:45.897 --> 00:52:50.833 You think you're so cool 'cause you can pee with your penis. 00:52:50.835 --> 00:52:52.668 Get a new conditioner. 00:52:52.670 --> 00:52:54.637 Your ends are totally split. 00:53:01.279 --> 00:53:02.778 You rock! 00:53:05.549 --> 00:53:07.216 April, I don't know. 00:53:07.218 --> 00:53:09.652 Come on. This is the only way you can be in school. 00:53:09.654 --> 00:53:12.621 here comes Jake. 00:53:12.623 --> 00:53:14.190 Hi! Hey, baby. 00:53:15.259 --> 00:53:16.592 So, skiing sucked. 00:53:16.594 --> 00:53:19.328 I mean, you didn't miss a thing. It was all mushed out. 00:53:21.465 --> 00:53:23.199 What's with the scarf? 00:53:23.201 --> 00:53:24.633 It's kinda chilly in here. 00:53:33.744 --> 00:53:35.778 Ski rash. 00:53:37.681 --> 00:53:39.615 So, I'm gonna -- 00:53:39.617 --> 00:53:42.651 I better -- I'm gonna go to class, so... All right. 00:53:45.722 --> 00:53:47.856 April, I am so sorry. 00:53:47.858 --> 00:53:50.659 he didn't even ask me to the prom. 00:53:52.696 --> 00:53:54.763 Jake and I are so over. 00:53:56.299 --> 00:53:58.367 Okay... 00:53:58.369 --> 00:54:00.769 Now, you get in there. 00:54:02.006 --> 00:54:04.406 And remember -- Your name is Spence. 00:54:04.541 --> 00:54:07.843 I must tell you... Spence, there are applicants 00:54:07.845 --> 00:54:11.280 who actually have prior janitorial experience. 00:54:11.282 --> 00:54:12.514 Your hair -- 00:54:12.516 --> 00:54:14.683 It has such bounce. 00:54:14.685 --> 00:54:16.852 It's this new cream ri-- 00:54:16.854 --> 00:54:18.587 Um, anyway, a-as I was saying, 00:54:18.589 --> 00:54:20.856 you haven't really provided me with -- 00:54:20.858 --> 00:54:25.628 Look... 00:54:25.630 --> 00:54:27.796 I'll be honest with you. 00:54:27.798 --> 00:54:29.598 I'm a struggling musician. 00:54:29.600 --> 00:54:31.867 Ever since my days playing the tuba 00:54:32.002 --> 00:54:33.636 in the high-school marching band -- 00:54:33.638 --> 00:54:36.772 Y-you -- you -- You play the tuba? 00:54:36.774 --> 00:54:37.906 Yes... 00:54:37.908 --> 00:54:39.742 In the honor band. 00:54:44.382 --> 00:54:47.683 Well, Spence, I'd be going out on a limb here, but -- 00:54:47.685 --> 00:54:49.318 You won't regret it, I promise. 00:54:49.320 --> 00:54:50.886 Thank you, miss Bernard. Thank you. 00:54:50.888 --> 00:54:53.389 please, call me Marjorie. 00:54:53.523 --> 00:54:54.923 Marjorie. 00:54:54.925 --> 00:54:58.027 Now, if you'll just fill out the security portion here 00:54:58.029 --> 00:54:59.528 of the form... 00:54:59.530 --> 00:55:00.663 all right. 00:55:09.773 --> 00:55:10.839 Billy... 00:55:10.841 --> 00:55:12.474 Aah! 00:55:12.476 --> 00:55:13.876 We need to talk. 00:55:14.010 --> 00:55:15.511 About what?! 00:55:18.715 --> 00:55:20.616 I called you on your ski trip to -- 00:55:20.618 --> 00:55:21.684 That was you?! 00:55:21.686 --> 00:55:23.452 Yeah. 00:55:23.586 --> 00:55:24.586 God! 00:55:25.689 --> 00:55:27.623 I can explain. 00:55:27.625 --> 00:55:29.925 Billy, wait! 00:55:39.704 --> 00:55:41.670 I gotta do what? 00:55:48.512 --> 00:55:50.746 hi, there. I miss you. 00:55:50.748 --> 00:55:51.780 Hi, Sam. 00:55:54.718 --> 00:55:56.719 Hey, taquito, think fast. 00:55:59.889 --> 00:56:01.690 you got me, señor. 00:56:01.692 --> 00:56:02.991 Taquito, pick up that ball. 00:56:02.993 --> 00:56:04.460 You and me are gonna shoot some hoops. 00:56:07.732 --> 00:56:08.931 gotcha! 00:56:08.933 --> 00:56:10.632 Back to Tijuana! 00:56:30.787 --> 00:56:36.658 Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-al! 00:56:39.430 --> 00:56:41.430 how are things with the missus, señor? 00:56:41.432 --> 00:56:43.432 Still not getting any. 00:56:46.636 --> 00:56:48.670 When was the last time you kissed her? 00:56:48.672 --> 00:56:51.607 You mean, kiss her, or kiss her kiss her? 00:56:54.077 --> 00:56:55.711 Eugggh! 00:56:55.713 --> 00:56:58.947 Señor, sometimes when a woman is ignoring you, 00:56:58.949 --> 00:57:01.116 that's when she wants you the most. 00:57:01.118 --> 00:57:04.119 She's only waiting for you to open up her passion, 00:57:04.121 --> 00:57:09.658 which is like a waterfall waiting to explode. 00:57:11.494 --> 00:57:14.196 You must get a lot of enchilada, taquito. 00:57:14.198 --> 00:57:15.664 Come on, bring it! 00:57:21.538 --> 00:57:22.805 Tres points, señor. 00:57:22.807 --> 00:57:24.506 Lucky shot. 00:57:29.646 --> 00:57:31.046 My outs again, señor. 00:57:44.728 --> 00:57:48.564 How did you know I don't move so well to my right? 00:57:54.938 --> 00:57:56.038 Booger? 00:57:57.507 --> 00:57:58.941 Have you seen your sister? 00:57:58.943 --> 00:58:00.776 I feel like I haven't talked to her in days. 00:58:03.213 --> 00:58:05.514 She was here a minute ago. You just missed her. 00:58:11.020 --> 00:58:12.621 Good game. 00:58:19.496 --> 00:58:20.696 señor Richie? 00:58:21.764 --> 00:58:24.666 I need to tell you something... 00:58:24.801 --> 00:58:26.635 but I can't. 00:58:26.637 --> 00:58:28.604 What do you got going on, taquito? 00:58:31.908 --> 00:58:34.776 I'm not really a gardener. 00:58:36.045 --> 00:58:39.214 I agree with that. The roses look like shit. 00:58:41.085 --> 00:58:42.784 I'm sorry. 00:58:42.786 --> 00:58:44.753 Come on, now, easy there, big fella. 00:58:44.888 --> 00:58:47.189 They're just roses. 00:58:47.191 --> 00:58:50.158 I want to tell you... 00:58:50.293 --> 00:58:55.097 I think you're the greatest dad in the world. 00:58:55.099 --> 00:58:59.067 Any kid would be lucky to have you as their father. 00:59:01.971 --> 00:59:03.772 Thanks, taquito. 00:59:05.209 --> 00:59:07.609 I'd hate to see you after you lose a game. 00:59:19.122 --> 00:59:21.623 Okay, did you eat any wolfsbane? 00:59:21.625 --> 00:59:24.192 No. 00:59:24.194 --> 00:59:26.828 Any sex with a leprechaun? 00:59:26.830 --> 00:59:28.564 Not recently. 00:59:33.903 --> 00:59:35.304 My god. 00:59:38.641 --> 00:59:40.876 You know, they should come with a warning -- 00:59:40.878 --> 00:59:42.878 "earrings may come with penis." 00:59:44.814 --> 00:59:47.249 this be some serious shit. 00:59:47.251 --> 00:59:50.819 Those belonged to Princess nawa. 00:59:50.821 --> 00:59:52.220 There's a myth 00:59:52.222 --> 00:59:56.792 of her using the earrings to escape a bad marriage. 00:59:58.828 --> 01:00:00.262 But she didn't know 01:00:00.264 --> 01:00:03.765 that she had to bring the earrings back together, 01:00:03.767 --> 01:00:08.003 and she lived out her life as a slave girl. 01:00:08.005 --> 01:00:11.139 Now, it appears that this myth is anything but. 01:00:12.676 --> 01:00:15.777 Would you stop with the damn drumming? 01:00:18.715 --> 01:00:20.015 I'm sorry. 01:00:20.017 --> 01:00:23.819 I... just was really getting into your story. 01:00:26.222 --> 01:00:29.691 You've got to find that other earring 01:00:29.693 --> 01:00:33.061 and unite them before the full moon end. 01:00:48.345 --> 01:00:50.679 I got you, babe. Don't worry about it. 01:00:54.051 --> 01:00:55.784 Hey, ling-ling! 01:00:55.786 --> 01:00:57.786 Ling-ling! 01:00:57.788 --> 01:01:00.055 Ling-ling, look! 01:01:00.189 --> 01:01:03.058 Look, I help! I help you! 01:01:17.975 --> 01:01:19.041 Hey, Billy. 01:01:22.279 --> 01:01:23.178 Yeah! 01:01:23.180 --> 01:01:24.980 Is he okay? 01:01:24.982 --> 01:01:26.748 Whoo! 01:01:31.254 --> 01:01:33.155 what's the matter, man? 01:01:33.157 --> 01:01:35.123 You afraid the janitor's gonna see your dingdong? 01:01:40.463 --> 01:01:42.464 So, what's up with you and the prom queen? 01:01:42.466 --> 01:01:45.300 I don't know. 01:01:45.435 --> 01:01:48.470 I thought everything was fine, but I guess I was wrong. 01:01:48.472 --> 01:01:50.872 See, that's why you gotta have a spare, man. 01:01:50.874 --> 01:01:53.041 That's what April is. She's my spare. 01:01:53.043 --> 01:01:53.942 Spare? 01:01:54.077 --> 01:01:55.844 Yeah, she's my backup. 01:01:55.846 --> 01:01:57.713 I mean, she was a fun ride -- No doubt about this -- 01:01:57.715 --> 01:01:59.448 But she is a previously owned vehicle. 01:01:59.450 --> 01:02:01.283 I'm into that new-car smell. 01:02:01.417 --> 01:02:03.185 You asshole! 01:02:05.722 --> 01:02:08.123 W-whoever left these towels over here... 01:02:08.125 --> 01:02:09.925 Is an asshole. 01:02:14.197 --> 01:02:17.766 Now, this new chick I got -- 01:02:17.768 --> 01:02:19.501 Dude, she is gonna be the hottest chick at the prom. 01:02:19.503 --> 01:02:21.837 I bet one of her little hottie friends 01:02:21.839 --> 01:02:23.205 would love to go out with the quarterback. 01:02:23.207 --> 01:02:25.907 I don't know, man. Come on, man. 01:02:25.909 --> 01:02:28.110 Maybe this one will put out, unlike that cold fish, Jessica. 01:02:28.112 --> 01:02:30.746 You go to hell! 01:02:33.116 --> 01:02:37.252 Whoever left these showers on... 01:02:37.254 --> 01:02:39.121 Go to... Hell. 01:02:40.423 --> 01:02:42.991 Hey... 01:02:42.993 --> 01:02:46.828 Jessica's anything but a cold fish, all right? 01:02:48.965 --> 01:02:52.400 She's the most amazing girl in the whole world. 01:02:52.402 --> 01:02:56.505 Dude, you've never even been out of California. 01:02:56.507 --> 01:02:58.507 I don't care. 01:02:58.509 --> 01:03:00.509 I love her. 01:03:00.511 --> 01:03:02.110 I mean, I know she thinks 01:03:02.112 --> 01:03:03.979 I only want to have sex with her, 01:03:03.981 --> 01:03:05.947 but that's not what it's about. 01:03:05.949 --> 01:03:09.851 I mean, when that moment comes... 01:03:09.853 --> 01:03:12.287 I want it to be perfect. 01:03:14.891 --> 01:03:16.224 Wow. 01:03:16.226 --> 01:03:18.560 That is the gayest thing I have ever heard. 01:03:22.865 --> 01:03:25.133 She's the only girl that makes my heart 01:03:25.135 --> 01:03:27.569 beat faster and slower at the same time. 01:03:30.339 --> 01:03:32.808 When I'm not with her... 01:03:32.810 --> 01:03:34.509 I'm not living. 01:03:36.512 --> 01:03:41.249 I'm only existing until I can hold her in my arms again. 01:03:44.120 --> 01:03:46.822 Gay, gay, gay, gay. 01:03:54.463 --> 01:03:58.099 Somebody shit in the locker. 01:04:14.317 --> 01:04:16.918 Can I help you find something? 01:04:16.920 --> 01:04:20.388 I-i was looking for my... 01:04:20.390 --> 01:04:21.590 Earring. 01:04:21.592 --> 01:04:24.125 It, accidentally fell... 01:04:24.127 --> 01:04:26.228 Into the lawn mower... 01:04:26.230 --> 01:04:29.898 And, Ricocheted into the window. 01:04:33.536 --> 01:04:35.937 I've always liked earrings on men. 01:04:35.939 --> 01:04:37.606 Would you like some lemonade? 01:04:40.376 --> 01:04:41.576 Here you go, taquito. 01:04:41.578 --> 01:04:43.945 It's got a Mexican flavor to it. 01:04:53.657 --> 01:04:55.190 What the hell is that?! 01:04:55.192 --> 01:04:58.326 Quesadilla and spicy menudo with jalapeños -- 01:04:58.328 --> 01:04:59.594 Your national dish. 01:05:02.499 --> 01:05:05.066 I'm sorry. 01:05:06.570 --> 01:05:10.138 it's been so long since I heard you laugh. 01:05:11.674 --> 01:05:13.508 I mean... 01:05:13.510 --> 01:05:16.144 Since I started working here. 01:05:19.950 --> 01:05:21.016 Back! 01:05:24.021 --> 01:05:26.488 I -- I am so sorry. 01:05:26.490 --> 01:05:28.490 no problemo. 01:05:31.428 --> 01:05:34.262 No problemo. 01:05:35.399 --> 01:05:37.999 aah! Carol! Carol! Please! 01:05:38.001 --> 01:05:40.135 This would be very unnatural for me 01:05:40.137 --> 01:05:42.304 in at least five different ways! 01:05:46.042 --> 01:05:49.678 So... you like men? 01:05:49.680 --> 01:05:51.279 Of course I do. 01:05:51.281 --> 01:05:53.214 What do you think? 01:06:08.097 --> 01:06:10.532 Carol... 01:06:15.104 --> 01:06:19.407 You are a beautiful and very desirable woman. 01:06:20.609 --> 01:06:24.279 And you have a husband who's dying to be with you. 01:06:24.413 --> 01:06:26.014 H-he said that? 01:06:26.016 --> 01:06:27.515 Yes. 01:06:28.584 --> 01:06:32.187 I cleaned up the language a bit, but... Yes. 01:06:35.691 --> 01:06:37.325 I know! 01:06:39.495 --> 01:06:42.564 Let's go paint your toenails. 01:06:44.100 --> 01:06:46.434 Then we'll wash your hair! 01:06:46.436 --> 01:06:50.105 My daughter, Jessie, used to do those things for me. 01:06:50.107 --> 01:06:53.708 I'll make up for that right now. 01:06:53.710 --> 01:06:55.343 Come on... 01:06:55.345 --> 01:06:58.213 Let's show that man of yours what he's been missing. 01:06:58.215 --> 01:06:59.614 come on! 01:06:59.616 --> 01:07:01.583 okay! 01:07:10.160 --> 01:07:12.794 Sí, yeah, sí, sí. 01:07:12.796 --> 01:07:14.462 Okay. 01:07:14.464 --> 01:07:16.031 Sí, sí, sí. 01:07:16.033 --> 01:07:17.532 Sí, sí. 01:07:17.534 --> 01:07:20.101 To the left -- ooh, right, right, right, right! 01:07:20.103 --> 01:07:21.736 Yes!! 01:07:21.738 --> 01:07:23.338 Sí. I love that. Yes! 01:07:23.340 --> 01:07:25.540 Carol! 01:07:25.542 --> 01:07:28.343 How could you?! In my own house?! 01:07:28.345 --> 01:07:32.714 And you, taquito -- We were supposed to be amigos! 01:07:32.716 --> 01:07:35.550 The loofah for the scrubbing. The sc-- get out! 01:07:35.552 --> 01:07:37.519 Señor, is for the -- The bath. I was -- 01:07:37.521 --> 01:07:39.521 Shut up-o. I was scrubbing. 01:07:39.523 --> 01:07:41.222 Out! Señor... 01:07:41.224 --> 01:07:42.590 Richie, Richie... 01:07:42.725 --> 01:07:45.326 really, I-it's -- It's not what you think. 01:07:46.730 --> 01:07:48.663 It's my own fault. 01:07:54.103 --> 01:07:56.638 Daddy! 01:07:56.640 --> 01:08:00.542 Daddy! 01:08:05.681 --> 01:08:07.715 Look at all these earrings. 01:08:07.717 --> 01:08:08.817 It's hopeless. 01:08:08.819 --> 01:08:09.851 I'm sorry. 01:08:11.655 --> 01:08:13.488 The prom's in three days. 01:08:13.490 --> 01:08:16.124 Forget about the cheer competition. 01:08:20.697 --> 01:08:22.330 I had it all. 01:08:24.133 --> 01:08:26.701 And I never really appreciated it. 01:08:26.703 --> 01:08:29.437 I took everybody for granted. 01:08:30.706 --> 01:08:34.576 And today, my dad walked in on me and my mom in the tub. 01:08:35.611 --> 01:08:39.247 I think I may have lost my job as gardener. 01:08:40.550 --> 01:08:43.384 You know, I'm kinda sorry to say this, 01:08:43.386 --> 01:08:46.521 but... this has been really fun. 01:08:49.559 --> 01:08:50.859 Yeah, right. 01:08:52.863 --> 01:08:55.296 Hey, babe, it's Jake. 01:08:55.298 --> 01:08:57.332 Listen, I got a half-hour after wrestling. 01:08:57.334 --> 01:09:00.635 I can either take a shower or I can come on over. 01:09:06.842 --> 01:09:08.877 too late, dude. 01:09:08.879 --> 01:09:10.845 She's with me right now. 01:09:10.847 --> 01:09:14.149 She says that my peepee's way bigger than yours. 01:09:15.618 --> 01:09:17.652 And that's if I fold it in half. 01:09:18.855 --> 01:09:20.488 Wha-- 01:09:21.557 --> 01:09:23.591 No way! 01:09:23.593 --> 01:09:26.461 My god, that was awesome, Spence. 01:09:26.463 --> 01:09:27.729 anytime. 01:09:32.736 --> 01:09:36.738 You know, I really thought I was in love. 01:09:38.440 --> 01:09:40.675 How do you know for sure, anyway? 01:09:41.710 --> 01:09:44.512 I think it's when you find someone 01:09:44.514 --> 01:09:47.582 that you can really be yourself with... 01:09:47.584 --> 01:09:50.318 Share anything... You know? 01:09:50.320 --> 01:09:52.453 You mean like best friends? 01:09:52.455 --> 01:09:53.688 Yeah. 01:09:56.225 --> 01:09:58.626 Love's when you can't even imagine 01:09:58.628 --> 01:10:01.896 what your life would be like without that other person, 01:10:01.898 --> 01:10:06.334 when words don't come close to how your heart really feels. 01:10:06.336 --> 01:10:09.571 And even though it doesn't make sense to other people, 01:10:09.573 --> 01:10:11.773 you kn you're meant to be together. 01:10:11.775 --> 01:10:15.543 And you spend all night thinking about him. 01:10:15.545 --> 01:10:18.546 And in the morning, you've never felt more rested. 01:10:18.548 --> 01:10:20.582 It's like you have to grab on to something, 01:10:20.584 --> 01:10:23.418 'cause it seems like your whole body's about to float away. 01:10:25.855 --> 01:10:27.522 Okay... 01:10:27.524 --> 01:10:29.390 what? 01:10:29.392 --> 01:10:30.592 I have an idea. 01:10:30.594 --> 01:10:31.759 What? What, what? 01:10:31.894 --> 01:10:33.828 Tell -- it might sound kind of crazy. 01:10:33.830 --> 01:10:35.563 Tell me. Tell me. What? 01:10:35.565 --> 01:10:39.601 Why don't you and I go to the prom together? 01:10:41.737 --> 01:10:43.404 That would be awesome! 01:10:43.406 --> 01:10:45.340 Yeah! Yeah! 01:10:45.342 --> 01:10:47.342 So cool! 01:10:47.344 --> 01:10:48.376 Aaah! 01:10:48.510 --> 01:10:49.611 Yeah! 01:10:49.613 --> 01:10:51.613 We'd make Jake so jealous. 01:10:51.615 --> 01:10:54.449 Yeah. 01:10:56.753 --> 01:10:58.586 I got to pee. Ooh, I got to pee. 01:10:58.588 --> 01:10:59.854 Ooh. 01:11:01.291 --> 01:11:03.291 Hoo! 01:11:11.768 --> 01:11:13.735 Jeez! 01:11:13.869 --> 01:11:15.336 Sorry, I'll get that. 01:11:15.338 --> 01:11:16.571 Are you okay? 01:11:16.573 --> 01:11:17.605 I'll get it. 01:11:17.607 --> 01:11:19.907 Sorry. 01:11:29.519 --> 01:11:30.585 Jessica? 01:11:32.421 --> 01:11:33.588 Jessica?! 01:11:38.595 --> 01:11:40.361 Jessica! 01:11:40.363 --> 01:11:41.996 Jessica. 01:11:41.998 --> 01:11:44.899 Thank god. 01:11:44.901 --> 01:11:46.968 I love you, baby. 01:11:48.071 --> 01:11:49.971 I would do anything for you. 01:11:49.973 --> 01:11:51.572 yeah? 01:11:54.077 --> 01:11:56.644 how much money you got? 01:11:56.779 --> 01:11:57.879 What? 01:11:57.881 --> 01:11:59.380 How much money you got? 01:11:59.382 --> 01:12:00.848 Um... 01:12:02.752 --> 01:12:03.718 About $40. 01:12:05.754 --> 01:12:07.088 That your car? 01:12:09.692 --> 01:12:11.326 It's my dad's. 01:12:11.328 --> 01:12:12.794 You know that. 01:12:12.796 --> 01:12:15.596 Yeah. Cool. 01:12:15.598 --> 01:12:16.998 Give me the keys. 01:12:20.637 --> 01:12:21.703 Thanks. 01:12:23.373 --> 01:12:26.574 Hey, so, w-what'd you say your name was? 01:12:27.543 --> 01:12:28.676 Billy. 01:12:28.678 --> 01:12:30.611 Yeah. Ooh. 01:12:32.915 --> 01:12:35.483 Take it easy, Bobby. 01:12:36.618 --> 01:12:38.119 it's "Billy." 01:12:52.801 --> 01:12:54.135 Aaah! 01:13:13.389 --> 01:13:14.756 Yeah. 01:13:28.504 --> 01:13:29.704 Where's Jessica? 01:13:29.838 --> 01:13:32.940 don't worry, miss Bernard. 01:13:32.942 --> 01:13:34.475 She'll be here. 01:13:49.191 --> 01:13:50.858 Hey. 01:13:50.860 --> 01:13:53.761 I really hope this works, Jessica. 01:13:53.763 --> 01:13:56.197 Come on, let's go kick some ass. 01:13:56.199 --> 01:13:57.999 Okay. 01:13:58.001 --> 01:13:59.734 Aah.! 01:13:59.736 --> 01:14:01.736 Dude, there's Jessica. 01:14:01.738 --> 01:14:03.471 Whatever. 01:14:03.473 --> 01:14:05.072 Dude! 01:14:07.143 --> 01:14:08.709 Number one! 01:14:22.724 --> 01:14:24.725 She do love me. 01:14:51.520 --> 01:14:53.020 Whoo-hoo! 01:15:02.698 --> 01:15:04.765 The bees are coming! The bees are coming! 01:15:04.767 --> 01:15:05.967 Sting this! 01:15:05.969 --> 01:15:07.802 That's you! That's you! I see you! 01:15:09.806 --> 01:15:11.205 Yeah! 01:15:17.713 --> 01:15:19.714 - Whoa! - Aaah! 01:15:21.217 --> 01:15:22.517 Aaah! 01:15:27.723 --> 01:15:28.923 Je-- 01:15:30.226 --> 01:15:31.926 Come on, man. 01:15:42.237 --> 01:15:43.804 Ladies and gentlemen, 01:15:43.806 --> 01:15:46.707 it appears the older gentleman in the bee outfit 01:15:46.709 --> 01:15:49.710 with the fake boobs is the school janitor. 01:15:49.712 --> 01:15:53.614 As per section 31c of the rule book, 01:15:53.616 --> 01:15:56.817 school employees are allowed to be mascots. 01:15:56.819 --> 01:15:59.153 Say hello to your new champions -- 01:15:59.155 --> 01:16:01.222 The Bridgetown honeys! 01:16:01.224 --> 01:16:03.224 aaah! Aaah! Aaah! 01:16:05.727 --> 01:16:07.061 Aaah! 01:16:07.063 --> 01:16:07.962 Yeah! 01:16:07.964 --> 01:16:09.564 Yeah! 01:16:09.566 --> 01:16:11.799 Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! 01:16:16.271 --> 01:16:17.972 Whoo-hoo! 01:16:42.298 --> 01:16:44.832 Here's a bizarre story for you -- 01:16:44.834 --> 01:16:46.834 Police are now searching for the hot chick bandit -- 01:16:46.836 --> 01:16:50.638 A beautiful young woman who lures men into dark alleyways, 01:16:50.640 --> 01:16:53.674 beats them senseless, and takes their wallets. 01:16:53.676 --> 01:16:55.643 Well, we thought maybe she needed some help. 01:16:55.645 --> 01:16:57.778 Yeah, we're helpful guys. 01:16:57.780 --> 01:16:59.981 So we went into the alley, and then she starts wailing on me. 01:16:59.983 --> 01:17:02.650 And let me tell you -- She didn't hit like a girl. 01:17:02.652 --> 01:17:05.119 Luckily, fitzy, the good guy that he is -- 01:17:05.121 --> 01:17:08.222 He was hiding behind a dumpster with a video camera. 01:17:08.224 --> 01:17:10.291 Looks like she worked you over pretty good. 01:17:10.626 --> 01:17:12.727 Yeah, well, don't get me wrong -- 01:17:12.729 --> 01:17:14.962 I got some shots in. 01:17:25.742 --> 01:17:27.842 Why? God. 01:17:27.844 --> 01:17:30.211 God, that hurt. 01:17:34.851 --> 01:17:37.218 Why?! 01:17:39.122 --> 01:17:42.390 Hi, it's April. Leave me a message. 01:17:42.392 --> 01:17:44.659 April, it's hildenburg. 01:17:44.661 --> 01:17:47.194 I think I found Jessica's body. It's in an alley outside a bar. 01:17:47.196 --> 01:17:49.664 But we got to move fast, because the police are already looking for it. 01:17:49.666 --> 01:17:50.831 Call me back. 01:17:50.833 --> 01:17:52.233 Aaaahhh! 01:18:24.066 --> 01:18:25.366 Jessica? 01:18:32.208 --> 01:18:35.409 not now, booger. 01:18:35.411 --> 01:18:37.078 I knew it! 01:18:37.080 --> 01:18:39.113 Jessie, it is you! 01:18:42.818 --> 01:18:44.752 How come you didn't snitch on me? 01:18:44.754 --> 01:18:46.320 'Cause you're my sister, 01:18:46.322 --> 01:18:48.823 and I accept you for who you are. 01:18:50.392 --> 01:18:53.094 Come here. 01:18:56.332 --> 01:18:58.299 You are such a little weirdo. 01:19:20.289 --> 01:19:21.789 Ooh... 01:19:21.791 --> 01:19:24.225 Sweet as cand-y! 01:19:24.227 --> 01:19:25.793 Ling-ling! 01:19:27.797 --> 01:19:31.132 "L" to the "I" to the "n" to the "g." 01:19:32.435 --> 01:19:35.469 Ling-ling, you forgot your bling-bling. 01:19:35.471 --> 01:19:38.906 Mom... you're ruining my life! 01:19:40.208 --> 01:19:42.476 I just want to meet you halfway. 01:19:44.046 --> 01:19:46.213 Nigga, "prease"! 01:19:56.057 --> 01:19:58.893 I wish my mama got me some bling-bling. 01:19:58.895 --> 01:20:00.995 Honey, if you don't want her as your mama, 01:20:00.997 --> 01:20:02.229 I'll take her. 01:20:02.231 --> 01:20:04.064 Girl, please. Girl, please. 01:20:34.063 --> 01:20:35.496 You still think I have a chance at prom queen? 01:20:35.831 --> 01:20:36.997 No. 01:20:36.999 --> 01:20:38.532 Okay. 01:20:43.305 --> 01:20:44.405 Mom! 01:20:45.874 --> 01:20:47.575 I'm sorry. 01:20:47.577 --> 01:20:49.877 But why do you have to keep embarrassing me 01:20:49.879 --> 01:20:51.078 in front of my friends? 01:20:53.382 --> 01:20:55.549 You're not ashamed of me. 01:20:57.352 --> 01:21:00.287 You're really ashamed of yourself. 01:21:02.525 --> 01:21:03.591 Tell Lulu -- 01:21:03.593 --> 01:21:06.093 Easy on the chronic. 01:21:28.651 --> 01:21:31.619 H-h-hi, Carol. 01:21:33.521 --> 01:21:35.623 Jessica didn't get ready here. 01:21:37.659 --> 01:21:41.362 No. No, she hasn't been here all week. 01:21:44.901 --> 01:21:46.967 I knew it! 01:21:46.969 --> 01:21:49.436 something is going on with Jessica and April. 01:21:49.438 --> 01:21:52.206 I'm gonna get to the bottom of it. 01:21:52.208 --> 01:21:55.643 If you ruin April's night, I will have you put away. 01:21:55.645 --> 01:21:57.344 Wh-- 01:21:57.479 --> 01:22:00.281 I-if you're not gonna help me, I-I'm gonna do it myself. 01:22:24.573 --> 01:22:26.140 I think this is a good spot. 01:22:27.543 --> 01:22:29.343 Jake's got to come right by here. 01:22:29.345 --> 01:22:31.578 I don't really care about Jake anymore. 01:22:31.580 --> 01:22:34.615 You shouldn't. He's a jerk. 01:22:34.617 --> 01:22:36.617 There's no one I'd rather be with here tonight. 01:22:38.520 --> 01:22:39.653 Me either. 01:22:42.525 --> 01:22:46.026 April, you look so beautiful tonight. 01:22:46.028 --> 01:22:48.495 No one has ever been there for me like you have. 01:22:48.497 --> 01:22:50.531 You've always been there for me. 01:22:50.665 --> 01:22:54.568 Any guy would be so lucky to have you as their girlfriend. 01:22:54.570 --> 01:22:56.737 And I should know. 01:22:56.739 --> 01:22:59.173 I've been a guy for almost a week now. 01:22:59.307 --> 01:23:02.543 And in that time, you have been such a good friend to me. 01:23:02.545 --> 01:23:05.446 I don't know how I could ever thank you. 01:23:05.448 --> 01:23:08.315 Ehhhh... 01:23:11.186 --> 01:23:12.386 Here he comes. 01:23:16.591 --> 01:23:19.059 That dress looks great. 01:23:19.061 --> 01:23:21.628 Is it easy to get out of? 01:23:32.240 --> 01:23:32.706 God. 01:23:32.708 --> 01:23:34.341 Aaah! 01:23:40.515 --> 01:23:43.384 I am so lesbian right now. 01:23:46.789 --> 01:23:49.556 We totally nailed him. 01:23:49.558 --> 01:23:51.592 Jake is so jealous. 01:23:51.594 --> 01:23:54.128 He spilled his drink all over his date. 01:23:54.130 --> 01:23:56.630 You should've seen it. 01:24:00.335 --> 01:24:03.470 We already got him, honey. He can't see us anym-- 01:24:08.710 --> 01:24:10.377 Spence, I love you. 01:24:10.379 --> 01:24:13.047 I love you, too, April. 01:24:13.049 --> 01:24:16.283 If you weren't holding on to me right now... 01:24:16.285 --> 01:24:17.584 I'd float away. 01:24:19.054 --> 01:24:21.722 You're my best friend, and now you're a guy. 01:24:21.724 --> 01:24:24.458 It's meant to be. 01:24:29.631 --> 01:24:32.066 April... 01:24:32.068 --> 01:24:34.535 You don't need me or any guy 01:24:34.669 --> 01:24:37.471 to make you feel beautiful and special... 01:24:37.473 --> 01:24:39.640 Because you are. 01:24:39.642 --> 01:24:43.610 You are the greatest girl in the whole world. 01:24:45.313 --> 01:24:47.748 You are all you need. 01:24:47.750 --> 01:24:51.752 I know it's crazy, but I can't help it. 01:24:51.754 --> 01:24:53.754 I'm in love with you, Spence. 01:25:23.384 --> 01:25:24.651 April... 01:25:26.754 --> 01:25:28.589 You gonna be okay? 01:25:28.591 --> 01:25:30.557 I'm sorry. 01:25:30.692 --> 01:25:32.292 Don't be. 01:25:35.663 --> 01:25:38.132 We're not gonna let a little thing like... 01:25:38.134 --> 01:25:40.767 Me turning into a man and you wanting to be with me 01:25:40.769 --> 01:25:43.203 get in the way of our friendship, are we? 01:25:51.713 --> 01:25:53.914 I'm in love with Billy. 01:25:55.884 --> 01:25:58.252 And if I'm gonna be stuck like this forever, 01:25:58.254 --> 01:26:02.656 he's just gonna have to accept me as I am -- 01:26:02.658 --> 01:26:05.225 A man. 01:26:09.297 --> 01:26:11.665 That's my man. 01:26:14.503 --> 01:26:16.637 I think I know who's in Jessica's body. 01:26:17.740 --> 01:26:19.773 And I know where we can find him. 01:26:19.775 --> 01:26:22.276 Let's find Jessica and get out of here. 01:26:22.278 --> 01:26:25.746 Hildenburg, you know what to do. 01:26:25.748 --> 01:26:27.381 Come on. 01:26:36.291 --> 01:26:37.624 Aah! 01:26:42.697 --> 01:26:44.264 Come on. 01:26:44.266 --> 01:26:46.333 That's a huge bitch. 01:26:46.335 --> 01:26:48.302 I didn't see it coming. 01:26:48.304 --> 01:26:50.671 No way, man. 01:26:50.673 --> 01:26:52.873 scoot. He's mine. 01:26:52.875 --> 01:26:54.708 Boy, I don't think so. 01:26:54.710 --> 01:26:55.709 Aah! 01:26:57.379 --> 01:26:59.746 get away! 01:26:59.748 --> 01:27:01.281 Billy... 01:27:01.283 --> 01:27:03.684 It's me -- Jessica. 01:27:05.853 --> 01:27:07.821 It's always been me. 01:27:07.823 --> 01:27:09.423 Mister... 01:27:09.425 --> 01:27:10.958 You're freaking me out. 01:27:10.960 --> 01:27:13.627 You know how when I touch you there, 01:27:13.629 --> 01:27:15.696 it makes your whole leg tingle? 01:27:15.698 --> 01:27:17.831 And when I touch you here... 01:27:21.703 --> 01:27:24.738 No. No. No, it can't be. 01:27:24.740 --> 01:27:27.341 Do you remember after the homecoming game... 01:27:27.343 --> 01:27:30.677 After you threw the winning pass to beat carlmont, 01:27:30.679 --> 01:27:32.913 you and I went behind the scoreboard and... 01:27:50.532 --> 01:27:53.333 You got to believe me. 01:27:55.370 --> 01:27:59.706 Silly... billy... nilly. 01:28:01.442 --> 01:28:03.010 Just close your eyes. 01:28:03.012 --> 01:28:06.413 You'll know it's me. 01:28:27.536 --> 01:28:29.636 I can't! I can't do it! 01:28:29.638 --> 01:28:31.605 You always said you'd love me no matter what. 01:28:31.607 --> 01:28:34.875 Bu-- I -- You're a 30-year-old dude! 01:28:34.877 --> 01:28:36.610 Just on the outside! 01:28:37.879 --> 01:28:39.579 Billy! 01:28:39.581 --> 01:28:41.048 bil-- 01:28:41.050 --> 01:28:42.582 We found your body. 01:28:46.587 --> 01:28:48.689 It'll be fine. Are you sure she's all right? 01:28:48.691 --> 01:28:49.756 I'm sure everything's gonna be fine. Booger! 01:28:49.758 --> 01:28:51.058 Booger, hurry up! 01:28:51.060 --> 01:28:52.859 Come on, buddy! 01:28:52.861 --> 01:28:54.761 You got to learn to run in those heels if you're gonna wear them. 01:29:14.917 --> 01:29:16.616 shit! 01:29:22.690 --> 01:29:25.559 I knew it was gonna be a good night. 01:29:25.561 --> 01:29:27.361 God. 01:29:27.363 --> 01:29:28.895 Thanks, hildenburg. 01:29:28.897 --> 01:29:31.465 I want my body back right now! 01:29:31.467 --> 01:29:34.835 Well, finders keepers, sweetheart. 01:29:38.106 --> 01:29:40.974 How dare you?! Do you know what this could do to my lungs?! 01:29:42.644 --> 01:29:44.511 You give me that earring! Give me that earring! 01:29:44.645 --> 01:29:45.912 You give me that earring. 01:29:45.914 --> 01:29:48.048 Give it to me. Give it. Give it to me. 01:29:48.050 --> 01:29:49.616 Okay. Okay, okay, okay. 01:29:49.618 --> 01:29:52.018 Sit down. Calm down. Calm down. 01:29:52.020 --> 01:29:53.687 I'll make you a deal, okay? 01:29:53.689 --> 01:29:55.922 Now... 01:29:55.924 --> 01:29:58.825 Just let me make another 500 bucks tonight, okay? 01:29:58.827 --> 01:30:01.695 And then I'll give you your body back 01:30:01.697 --> 01:30:03.830 'cause it's so important to you. 01:30:03.832 --> 01:30:06.400 "I'm crying about my body." 01:30:06.534 --> 01:30:08.468 And then... 01:30:08.470 --> 01:30:10.704 You can just loan it to me every other weekend 01:30:10.706 --> 01:30:12.906 and -- so I can pay off some gambling debts. 01:30:13.040 --> 01:30:15.776 Weekends -- Loan you my body. 01:30:17.146 --> 01:30:18.712 I want my body back! 01:30:18.714 --> 01:30:21.114 Give me my body back! 01:30:21.116 --> 01:30:22.449 Give -- 01:30:23.117 --> 01:30:24.518 Hey... 01:30:24.520 --> 01:30:26.686 Look at me. 01:30:26.688 --> 01:30:28.688 I'm only gonna tell you this once -- 01:30:28.690 --> 01:30:32.125 No strangling the dancers or you are out of here! 01:30:32.127 --> 01:30:34.428 Now, can't you read? 01:30:42.204 --> 01:30:44.037 Now, this is more like it. 01:30:46.107 --> 01:30:48.442 I got to hit the head. 01:30:53.649 --> 01:30:55.649 hey, don't worry. 01:30:55.651 --> 01:30:57.584 We're gonna get him. 01:31:03.691 --> 01:31:04.724 Hey, babe. 01:31:04.726 --> 01:31:06.560 sweetheart. 01:31:06.562 --> 01:31:08.028 Hey... 01:31:09.030 --> 01:31:10.630 No way! 01:31:10.632 --> 01:31:13.500 Jessica?! This is where you've been? 01:31:14.670 --> 01:31:16.770 I want a dance from you! 01:31:16.772 --> 01:31:17.904 Ye-e-e! 01:31:17.906 --> 01:31:18.872 Mar-- 01:31:23.979 --> 01:31:28.215 So, dancing naked must be fun? 01:31:28.217 --> 01:31:30.717 Yeah, sure... 01:31:30.719 --> 01:31:32.018 Why wouldn't it be? 01:31:32.153 --> 01:31:34.254 Where do you keep your weed, though? 01:31:38.560 --> 01:31:40.660 Ohhhh. 01:31:40.662 --> 01:31:43.263 That's good. 01:31:43.598 --> 01:31:46.566 I don't have one of those. 01:31:46.568 --> 01:31:48.502 Sure. 01:32:03.252 --> 01:32:04.951 Bye, Spence. 01:32:07.188 --> 01:32:09.823 You'll always be my best friend. 01:32:09.825 --> 01:32:11.625 Forever. 01:32:26.675 --> 01:32:28.108 Billy? 01:32:28.110 --> 01:32:29.709 Hi, Mrs. Spencer. 01:32:30.845 --> 01:32:32.846 Mr. Spencer. 01:32:32.848 --> 01:32:34.814 How's it going, booger? 01:32:38.020 --> 01:32:40.587 This isn't the prom. 01:32:40.589 --> 01:32:41.888 My god. 01:32:45.627 --> 01:32:46.793 anything yet? 01:32:46.795 --> 01:32:48.795 No. 01:32:51.766 --> 01:32:53.733 There you go! Come on, shake it! 01:32:53.735 --> 01:32:55.168 Whoo! You naughty little honeybee. 01:32:55.303 --> 01:32:56.303 Yes, you are! 01:32:57.071 --> 01:32:59.673 Ho! Whoo! 01:33:01.577 --> 01:33:02.676 Anything yet? 01:33:02.810 --> 01:33:03.710 No. 01:33:03.712 --> 01:33:06.346 I'm all right. I'm o-- 01:33:25.067 --> 01:33:27.267 hey, buddy? How about a lap dance? 01:33:39.748 --> 01:33:42.182 Hey! Can't you read?! 01:33:42.316 --> 01:33:44.250 Monday night's gay night. 01:33:50.658 --> 01:33:51.791 What? 01:33:55.397 --> 01:33:56.963 It's me? 01:33:58.800 --> 01:33:59.866 Really? 01:34:04.406 --> 01:34:05.839 It is! 01:34:05.841 --> 01:34:07.107 It really is! 01:34:17.019 --> 01:34:18.218 Aaah! 01:34:30.431 --> 01:34:31.865 Taquito? 01:34:36.904 --> 01:34:38.304 It's really you. 01:34:46.414 --> 01:34:48.782 Billy. 01:34:52.454 --> 01:34:55.188 Listen, I... I'm so so-- 01:34:55.190 --> 01:34:56.723 Doesn't matter. 01:34:56.725 --> 01:34:58.291 Nothing matters. 01:34:58.293 --> 01:35:00.827 I don't care about the other girl I took to the prom. 01:35:00.829 --> 01:35:02.028 I don't care what Jake thinks. 01:35:02.030 --> 01:35:04.164 I don't care that you took my money, 01:35:04.166 --> 01:35:05.899 stole my dad's car, 01:35:05.901 --> 01:35:07.867 and... tried to run me down with it. 01:35:07.869 --> 01:35:08.868 No, I -- 01:35:08.870 --> 01:35:10.470 None of that matters. 01:35:13.742 --> 01:35:15.341 I'll even try to find a way 01:35:15.343 --> 01:35:19.012 to get over your new job as an exotic dancer. 01:35:24.752 --> 01:35:26.052 Billy... 01:35:26.054 --> 01:35:27.487 Do you feel that? 01:35:29.490 --> 01:35:32.292 You are the only boy who makes my heart 01:35:32.294 --> 01:35:35.762 beat faster and slower at the same time. 01:35:57.252 --> 01:35:59.753 I'm not pressing charges. 01:36:13.267 --> 01:36:16.269 Hey, you better get back onstage, little lady. 01:36:16.271 --> 01:36:18.905 The only place this little lady is going 01:36:18.907 --> 01:36:21.508 is home with me and my wife. 01:36:21.842 --> 01:36:24.778 Hey, what kind of a place do you think I'm running here, pal?! 01:36:24.780 --> 01:36:26.846 Class valedictorian -- 01:36:26.848 --> 01:36:29.249 Keecia "ling-ling" Jackson. 01:36:31.486 --> 01:36:33.153 First of all, 01:36:33.155 --> 01:36:36.856 I'd like to say I'm very proud to be half Korean. 01:36:36.858 --> 01:36:39.159 Thank you, honey! 01:36:39.293 --> 01:36:40.794 But don't forget -- 01:36:40.796 --> 01:36:43.563 You're also one-quarter Jewish! 01:36:43.565 --> 01:36:45.932 Mazel tov, baby! 01:36:45.934 --> 01:36:47.400 Shalom! 01:36:54.543 --> 01:36:56.576 wait! Wait! 01:37:03.819 --> 01:37:05.852 Hey, how's it going? 01:37:05.854 --> 01:37:07.487 Hey, thanks for helping me out, man. 01:37:07.489 --> 01:37:09.255 You're a good man. You're a good guy. 01:37:22.270 --> 01:37:23.570 Aaaahhh! 01:37:23.594 --> 01:37:43.594 Telegram Channel and Instagram Page .:: @bollbolljan_com ::. 01:39:26.961 --> 01:39:28.227 Action! 01:39:28.229 --> 01:39:30.964 Okay, let's think. 01:39:30.966 --> 01:39:34.167 What could have caused this? 01:39:38.173 --> 01:39:40.306 No clue. 01:39:40.308 --> 01:39:43.276 I mean, my house is built on an old Indian burial ground -- 01:39:43.278 --> 01:39:46.045 Sorry. Let's try again. 01:39:46.047 --> 01:39:48.114 Okay, let's think. 01:39:48.116 --> 01:39:50.683 What could have caused this? 01:39:57.592 --> 01:39:59.258 Sorry. 01:40:00.294 --> 01:40:02.495 Okay, let's think. 01:40:02.497 --> 01:40:04.731 What could have caused this? 01:40:04.733 --> 01:40:07.433 no clue. 01:40:11.639 --> 01:40:13.573 One more time. 01:40:13.575 --> 01:40:16.042 What could have caused this? 01:40:26.588 --> 01:40:28.488 okay, one more time. 01:40:29.557 --> 01:40:31.190 Okay, let's think. 01:40:31.192 --> 01:40:33.326 What could have caused this? 01:40:37.664 --> 01:40:39.065 okay. 01:40:39.067 --> 01:40:40.633 Okay, one more time. I'm ready. 01:40:54.815 --> 01:40:56.616 okay, I'll get it. 01:40:56.618 --> 01:40:58.618 I'm used to it. 01:41:05.559 --> 01:41:08.194 I've got cheerleading practice, the prom. 01:41:12.567 --> 01:41:14.634 H-hang on. 01:41:14.636 --> 01:41:16.235 Action! 01:41:17.204 --> 01:41:19.672 no clue. 01:41:23.578 --> 01:41:24.811 Cut! 01:41:25.780 --> 01:41:27.647 Action! 01:41:27.649 --> 01:41:30.216 no clue. 01:41:30.350 --> 01:41:33.586 I mean, my house is built on an old Indian burial ground. 01:41:37.724 --> 01:41:38.825 Sorr-- 01:41:38.827 --> 01:41:41.661 Aha! Here we go. 01:41:41.663 --> 01:41:42.762 Sorry. 01:41:44.364 --> 01:41:45.665 Action! 01:41:45.667 --> 01:41:47.366 No clue. 01:41:49.871 --> 01:41:51.704 I mean -- 01:41:51.706 --> 01:41:53.606 sorry. I'll get through it. 01:41:53.608 --> 01:41:56.275 Aaah! Here we go. I'm sorry. Give me that. 01:41:56.277 --> 01:41:57.877 Aaah! 01:41:57.879 --> 01:42:01.747 Are you saying... 01:42:01.749 --> 01:42:04.417 People think I'm perfect? 01:42:09.691 --> 01:42:12.692 Are you saying... 01:42:12.694 --> 01:42:14.894 People think I'm perfect? 01:42:20.668 --> 01:42:21.801 Sorry. 01:42:23.604 --> 01:42:26.672 Are you saying... 01:42:26.674 --> 01:42:29.308 People think I'm perfect? 01:42:35.817 --> 01:42:38.251 Okay. Okay. 01:42:38.253 --> 01:42:39.585 Then we got it? 01:42:39.587 --> 01:42:41.454 I think we got it. All right.