WEBVTT

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..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::..
‏.::  www.bolboljan.net ::.

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If only you knew what I just dealt with.

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I mean, this guy
was right in front of me going...

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That guy deserves a ticket.
I'm sure he's still way back...

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A woman never reveals her age.

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"And only then
will the people of Tajikistan

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"know true and lasting peace. "

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Andie, it's brilliant. It's really moving.

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But it's never gonna appear
in Composure magazine.

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God, I busted my butt in grad school

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to be Andie Anderson, how-to girl,

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and write articles like,
How to Use the Best Pick-up Lines,

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and Do Blondes, Do They, Like,
Really Have More Fun?

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I wanna write about things that matter,
like politics

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and the environment and foreign affairs,
things I'm interested in.

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Keep busting your butt.
You're gonna get there.

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Hey, I got something to cheer you up.

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You know that editor
from Sports Illustrated

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that you have been shamelessly
flirting with on the phone for,

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I don't know, a month, now?
He made a little delivery this morning.

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Let me see. Don't. No. Hey!

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- Tomorrow night.
- What happens tomorrow night?

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Only the most exhilarating
and artistic display

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of athletic competition
known to mankind.

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- The Ice Capades are in town?
- No, the NBA finals are in town,

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and I got tickets!

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- Come with me?
- All right, I'll go.

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But I am not putting out.

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Two stale jumbo dogs
and a couple of beers,

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you'll be whistling a different tune.

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- You know what I like.
- Good morning, ladies.

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Don't forget,
staff meeting in 30 minutes.

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Michelle. Haven't seen her all morning.
Have you?

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- Ten-to-one she's wallowing.
- It's my turn. I'll get her.

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You get the coffee.
Meet me on the corner in 20.

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Wait, wait, wait.
Here, take some samples.

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Samples. Samples. Great idea.

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Boy, drama, drama, drama.

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Hello, Ben.

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Hey, hey. Good morning, Spears.

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What are you reading, girl?
You catching up on your current events?

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"Turn-on Tricks: How to Make Him Hot. "

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You know, if you wanna try those out
sometime, we should get together.

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Green and I have an appointment
at Composure,

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the fastest-growing women's magazine
in the country.

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And seeing as how our clients
run a lot of our campaigns

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in their nationally syndicated
little girly magazine,

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it wouldn't hurt you to do a little reading.

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- Hey, Benny.
- Good morning, Green.

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- You finally decided to show up?
- Yes, I did.

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- You ready?
- Ready. Later, Ben.

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Have a nice day, ladies.

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Hi!

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Good morning, sunshine.

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Okay, get dressed. Get dressed.
Staff meeting, 15 minutes. Let's go.

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I'm going back to bed.
I have no reason to live.

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Sun's out.

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- Okay, just...
- Okay, now.

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Cashmere?

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Put it on.
It'll make your eyes look fiercely green.

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Get up. I'm not gonna let you lose
your job on top of everything else.

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- Come here.
- Oh, Andie.

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- Okay.
- Okay.

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You only dated the guy a week.

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It was the best week of my life.

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Sweetheart.

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Good morning, ladies!

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- What's up, Tito?
- Warren Advertising.

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- Yes, he's waiting for you. Hold on.
- Good morning.

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- What's up, kitty cat?
- What's up, daddy? Big night?

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- Not bad.
- Orgy?

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- Where were you?
- Not at an orgy.

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Did you hear?

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What? That my Knickerbockers
are now in the championship series

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and Tone the Bone, here,
owes me 20 bucks?

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- Pay him.
- Man, well, you were right.

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DeLauer Diamonds
is looking for a new ad agency.

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Warren wants to move on it
aggressively.

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Yes! Oh, this is a good day.
This is a good day.

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Guys, did you know that diamonds

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are about as common
as taxis on 5th Avenue?

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The value is entirely sentimental,

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maintained by supply,
demand and advertising.

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Stripes. Now, DeLauer dominates
the world diamond market.

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Meaning, if I represent them,
I basically represent the entire industry.

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- What?
- Warren gave it to the Judys.

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Spears and Green, they're already on it.

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- No way!
- Yeah.

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Well, you know, he's kind of partial
to hot, leggy chicks.

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Yeah, and we're
the sneakers and beer division.

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Precious gems aren't exactly our forte.

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Lips and hips are over
at a chicks' magazine, right now.

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- I gotta get to Warren before...
- You can't. You can't. He's on a plane.

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Easy, pal. Chicago meeting.

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And it's too late anyway 'cause
Warren's meeting them for drinks

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at Mullen's tonight to discuss their idea.

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Know what? This didn't happen.
You know why? This was my tip.

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It's gonna be my pitch, my account,
my campaign. This is my baby.

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- That's what I'm talking about.
- They will not ace me out of this.

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- That's right.
- I heard that.

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- Okay, Mullen's tonight.
- "I heard that"?

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- Hi.
- Hi.

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- I don't really wanna talk about it, okay?
- Okay.

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Okay.

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Why does this always happen to me?

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Things are going great
for, like, a week-and-a-half

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and then all of a sudden, it's over,
and I am mystified!

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Seriously, I am mystified
because it always starts out so well.

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- Poor baby.
- Let's just roll with this.

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Mike and I had such a connection.

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The first time that we had sex,
it was so beautiful.

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I cried.

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- You cried?
- Yeah.

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You mean like one glistening tear
on your cheek, right?

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No, I was really emotional.
I even told him that I loved him.

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- After how many days?
- Five.

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Two.

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It was how I felt.
I wanted to express myself.

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Okay. Well, what did he say?

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Oh, Mike didn't have to say anything.
I know that he felt the same.

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But then, he started getting really busy,
and I didn't know where he was,

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so I kept calling him, calling him.
He was never home.

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- You kept calling him?
- I didn't leave a message.

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He didn't know it was me.
My number's blocked.

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Oh, I'm sure he thought
it was one of his friends.

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You know, men frequently
call their friends' answering machines

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and hang up 20 times.

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Anyway, I know why he dumped me.

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I'm too fat.

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- You're not fat!
- You're not fat!

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Michelle, if the most beautiful woman
in the world acted the way you did,

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any normal guy would still go running
in the other direction.

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No. No guy would go running
from you, Andie.

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You could barf all over him
and he would say, "Do it again. "

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That is both incredibly disgusting
and categorically untrue.

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If I did the things you did,
I'd get dumped, too.

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Okay, family, shoes off.

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And breathe.

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Out.

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Okay, Lori, let's start with you.

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Well, the BOTOX for Beginners piece
is done.

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Now, it's a little scary,
but mostly upbeat.

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Now I'm on
What Your Gyno Won't Tell You,

00:09:33.156 --> 00:09:36.158
which is also pretty scary,
but, you know, upbeat.

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I finished my research
on Deadly Pedicures,

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about the woman who contracted
that fungus from the unsterilized tools.

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It's a terrible story,
although surprisingly upbeat.

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- Upbeat.
- Marvelous.

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What's next for How-To With Andie?

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Well, I've been working on something
that's, kind of, different.

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- It's... It's a political piece and it's...
- No.

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Andie, you work
at Composure magazine.

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We are fashion, trends, diets,
cosmetic surgeries,

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salacious gossip, that's Composure.

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- Okay, but...
- Look, Andie. Okay.

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The column is new for you.

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When you turn it into a must-read,

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then you can write about
whatever you want.

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Until then, you can write about
whatever I want.

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- Understood?
- Yeah.

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Michelle, what have you got?

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I'm sorry, Lana.
I wasn't feeling very well.

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- She got dumped.
- Oh, no, Michelle!

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What a hellish ordeal for you.

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But I must say,
you are looking fabulous.

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Are we loving the way she looks, all?

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- We love the way she looks.
- Oh, you're so right. She looks great.

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- I haven't eaten since the split.
- Good for you! Write about it.

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I can't use my personal life for a story.

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I understand completely.

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Who will use Michelle's personal life
for a story?

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- Oh, I will!
- Go.

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No, no, no! Lana, with all due respect,

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Lori has no business mucking around
in my personal life, and I can't let her.

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- I'll do it.
- What?

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I'll sort of do it. It's...

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You will be my inspiration.

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- For?
- Look at Michelle.

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- She is a great girl, right?
- Yes.

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An amazing woman.

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But she has a problem
hanging on to relationships,

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and doesn't really know
what's she doing wrong,

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which is like a lot of our readers.

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So I was thinking that I could start
by dating a guy

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and then drive him away,

00:11:39.074 --> 00:11:43.660
but only using the classic mistakes
most women, like Michelle,

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make all the time.

00:11:47.791 --> 00:11:50.125
I'll keep a diary of it

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and it will be sort of
a dating how-to in reverse.

00:11:58.093 --> 00:12:00.010
- What not to do.
- Yeah.

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How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

00:12:04.516 --> 00:12:06.350
Yes. Go.

00:12:06.851 --> 00:12:10.229
- Bart, what's new in the shoe...
- Wait, wait, Lana. I'm sorry.

00:12:10.313 --> 00:12:11.480
Why 10 days?

00:12:11.606 --> 00:12:14.650
Five days is too short,
and we go to press in 11. Yes?

00:12:14.776 --> 00:12:18.237
Okay, what we found out
is men are attracted to purple shoes.

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- Thank you.
- Now, I love them myself...

00:12:21.991 --> 00:12:24.243
Maybe toss in something spiritual
as well.

00:12:24.327 --> 00:12:27.121
Who's that chic Buddhist
Richard Gere cavorts with?

00:12:27.205 --> 00:12:29.331
- The Dalai Lama?
- He's fabulous.

00:12:29.457 --> 00:12:32.334
- Here's my 10:00. Welcome.
- Hi.

00:12:32.460 --> 00:12:36.296
Ladies, Judy Spears and Judy Green
from Warren Advertising.

00:12:36.381 --> 00:12:39.508
We're going to cook up
some fabulous tie-ins for the fall.

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Jeannie Ashcroft, fashion and trends.
Michelle Rubin, fitness and health.

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Excuse me. Hi.

00:12:45.223 --> 00:12:47.391
And Andie Anderson,
our resident how-to girl.

00:12:47.517 --> 00:12:50.602
Oh, I've seen your column, Andie.
What are you working on now?

00:12:50.687 --> 00:12:54.148
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

00:12:54.232 --> 00:12:56.150
She's actually going to
start dating a guy

00:12:56.234 --> 00:12:58.694
and then drive him away
in a week-and-a-half.

00:13:00.029 --> 00:13:01.780
Sounds needlessly vicious.

00:13:01.865 --> 00:13:03.615
It's going to be fabulous.

00:13:03.700 --> 00:13:06.285
Now, all she has to do is run along
and find the lucky guy.

00:13:06.369 --> 00:13:07.786
- Go, go, go.
- Nice to meet you.

00:13:07.871 --> 00:13:09.788
Ladies, come.

00:13:09.873 --> 00:13:12.374
Find the guy. Find the guy.

00:13:13.251 --> 00:13:15.794
You are never going to pull this off.

00:13:15.879 --> 00:13:19.965
Watch me. Tonight, I'll hook a guy.
Tomorrow, pull the switch.

00:13:20.049 --> 00:13:21.175
Before the 10 days are up,

00:13:21.259 --> 00:13:23.177
I'm gonna have this guy
running for his life.

00:13:23.261 --> 00:13:26.513
You're not gonna burn his apartment
down or bite him or anything, are you?

00:13:26.598 --> 00:13:28.515
No, I'm gonna limit myself

00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:31.268
to doing everything girls do wrong
in relationships.

00:13:31.394 --> 00:13:33.520
Basically,
everything we know guys hate.

00:13:33.605 --> 00:13:36.148
I'll be clingy, needy.

00:13:36.232 --> 00:13:37.774
- Be touchy-feely.
- Yeah.

00:13:37.901 --> 00:13:39.359
Call him in the middle of the night

00:13:39.444 --> 00:13:41.403
and tell him everything
you had to eat that day.

00:13:41.529 --> 00:13:43.405
What's wrong with that?

00:13:44.574 --> 00:13:45.616
I'm kidding.

00:13:57.253 --> 00:13:58.879
Hello, Ben.

00:13:58.963 --> 00:14:02.174
- What are you doing here?
- Phil, I'm here for the meeting. Ladies.

00:14:02.258 --> 00:14:05.177
- But, you weren't invited.
- Yeah, but I should have been.

00:14:05.261 --> 00:14:07.429
I mean, it was my tip that DeLauer
was shopping for a new firm.

00:14:07.555 --> 00:14:10.599
Yes, it was, but I have to think
in terms of who's best suited

00:14:10.725 --> 00:14:11.892
within the company team.

00:14:11.976 --> 00:14:14.645
Yes, sir, and that's me.
I wanna handle this pitch.

00:14:14.771 --> 00:14:17.814
Ben, you sell Joe Blow
better than anyone else in my shop,

00:14:17.941 --> 00:14:21.985
but these girls sell luxury
better than anyone else in the business.

00:14:22.111 --> 00:14:25.113
We have to put our best foot forward
on this pitch.

00:14:25.198 --> 00:14:27.824
- DeLauer would be our biggest account.
- Yes, sir, they would.

00:14:27.951 --> 00:14:31.370
Annual advertising billings
of 50 to 60 million dollars,

00:14:31.454 --> 00:14:34.248
and I am the man that's gonna
bring this home for you, Phil.

00:14:34.332 --> 00:14:36.708
- Why this place?
- Because it's perfect.

00:14:36.793 --> 00:14:38.085
- Hi, Ingrid.
- Hi.

00:14:38.169 --> 00:14:43.340
Mullen's is the après-work watering hole
for the upwardly mobile.

00:14:43.466 --> 00:14:46.468
Now, to date, the diamond industry
has always targeted men,

00:14:46.553 --> 00:14:50.180
sending the message that the woman
needs the man to buy her the rock.

00:14:50.306 --> 00:14:52.516
All right, they say,
"A diamond is forever. "

00:14:52.642 --> 00:14:55.185
We say, "A diamond is for everyone. "

00:14:55.311 --> 00:14:56.562
- I like that.
- Yes.

00:14:56.646 --> 00:14:59.815
We don't. "A diamond is for everyone"

00:14:59.899 --> 00:15:02.943
sends the message
that diamonds are everywhere,

00:15:03.027 --> 00:15:05.862
which means they're not rare,
and if they're not rare,

00:15:05.989 --> 00:15:07.614
they lose their status.

00:15:07.699 --> 00:15:10.492
Status is the reason to buy them
in the first place,

00:15:10.577 --> 00:15:13.161
which Benjamin would know
if he understood women,

00:15:13.246 --> 00:15:14.913
which you don't.

00:15:16.749 --> 00:15:19.918
You can't feel bad about that, Ben.
No man does.

00:15:20.003 --> 00:15:21.837
- Here you go.
- Thank you.

00:15:23.089 --> 00:15:24.256
Sorry.

00:15:26.551 --> 00:15:28.594
- Here. Here.
- Thanks.

00:15:31.014 --> 00:15:33.557
Hey, don't pressure her. She's perusing.

00:15:33.683 --> 00:15:35.183
Yes, exactly.

00:15:37.395 --> 00:15:41.356
Selling a diamond to a woman
is like making her fall in love.

00:15:41.441 --> 00:15:46.903
She has to feel giddy, desirous,
adventurous and desperate.

00:15:47.030 --> 00:15:49.156
Take a look around this room, Phillip.

00:15:49.240 --> 00:15:51.908
Most of the women in this bar
are looking for just that.

00:15:52.035 --> 00:15:54.494
Exactly. The skills required
to market diamonds

00:15:54.579 --> 00:15:57.372
are the same as those needed
to make a woman fall in love, yes.

00:15:57.457 --> 00:16:01.084
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.

00:16:01.210 --> 00:16:04.046
A woman in love wants diamonds.

00:16:04.756 --> 00:16:07.716
Yeah, I'm not talking
about lust either, ladies.

00:16:07.800 --> 00:16:12.471
I'm talking about deep, meaningful,
head-over-heels, his-and-her towels,

00:16:12.555 --> 00:16:16.350
let's grow old together L-O-V-E.

00:16:16.434 --> 00:16:19.436
Look, I love women.

00:16:19.562 --> 00:16:24.399
I do. Whether they're 4 or 40
or my 88-year-old grandmother,

00:16:24.484 --> 00:16:26.276
I respect women, all right?

00:16:26.402 --> 00:16:29.529
And I also listen to women.

00:16:29.614 --> 00:16:34.660
And that's why I can sell myself
to any woman, anywhere, anytime.

00:16:34.744 --> 00:16:39.414
Make a woman fall in love
with diamonds, Benjamin, or with you?

00:16:40.333 --> 00:16:41.667
Either one.

00:16:41.751 --> 00:16:45.128
- That's cocky, Ben.
- No, not cocky. Confident.

00:16:47.423 --> 00:16:50.133
- I'd like to see you prove that.
- You would?

00:16:50.259 --> 00:16:54.554
The agency is co-hosting a party
for the DeLauers at the Astor Museum.

00:16:54.639 --> 00:16:56.390
The party's a week from Sunday.

00:16:56.474 --> 00:16:59.559
Do you think you can make a woman
fall in love with you by then?

00:16:59.644 --> 00:17:03.271
- Ten days.
- Any woman, anywhere, anytime.

00:17:03.356 --> 00:17:07.025
Any single, available,
straight woman, yes.

00:17:07.110 --> 00:17:11.196
Yes. I'm not trying to trick you, Ben.
In fact,

00:17:11.280 --> 00:17:15.075
we'll choose a woman right here,
right now, in this bar,

00:17:15.159 --> 00:17:16.660
and then you decide.

00:17:18.788 --> 00:17:21.123
- So who's the lucky girl?
- Okay.

00:17:22.375 --> 00:17:24.000
Let's see here.

00:17:24.127 --> 00:17:26.753
There's that blonde babe
in the leopard print.

00:17:26.838 --> 00:17:29.381
- She looks like fun.
- Be nice, ladies.

00:17:29.465 --> 00:17:34.302
Or, wow, Miss Babylon 5.
Now she's on the prowl.

00:17:34.971 --> 00:17:36.513
No.

00:17:36.639 --> 00:17:38.098
Her.

00:17:38.182 --> 00:17:40.308
- Her who?
- Her in the gray dress.

00:17:40.393 --> 00:17:42.811
Blonde hair, pretty smile.

00:17:47.066 --> 00:17:48.233
Her?

00:17:54.741 --> 00:17:56.533
- Done.
- What?

00:17:58.077 --> 00:18:00.704
- Done.
- Done.

00:18:01.914 --> 00:18:04.875
See the guy next to the horrible guy
in the green shirt

00:18:05.001 --> 00:18:06.460
that I would never even consider?

00:18:06.544 --> 00:18:08.295
- Okay?
- Very cute.

00:18:08.379 --> 00:18:10.589
- Right?
- Good.

00:18:10.673 --> 00:18:12.174
Here I go.

00:18:14.343 --> 00:18:16.178
Okay, you're on.

00:18:17.180 --> 00:18:18.513
But here are the stakes.

00:18:18.598 --> 00:18:21.892
- After I win this bet, this pitch is mine.
- Agreed.

00:18:22.018 --> 00:18:23.769
- Phil?
- Agreed.

00:18:23.853 --> 00:18:27.898
You come to that party with a girl
that's really in love with you, Ben,

00:18:27.982 --> 00:18:30.192
you can make the pitch to the DeLauers.

00:18:30.276 --> 00:18:33.236
- But, Phillip, you can't...
- I've made up my mind.

00:18:34.864 --> 00:18:37.032
- To the DeLauers.
- To the DeLauers.

00:18:37.116 --> 00:18:39.034
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

00:18:41.370 --> 00:18:44.247
I was just wondering if you find...

00:18:46.459 --> 00:18:47.793
Exciting.

00:18:48.795 --> 00:18:52.172
Yes, my wife and I love New York,
especially this time of year.

00:18:52.256 --> 00:18:55.383
- She'd been here before and I...
- Hi.

00:18:55.468 --> 00:18:56.760
- Hi.
- This is Andie.

00:18:56.844 --> 00:18:58.094
Hi.

00:18:59.347 --> 00:19:01.556
- You guys enjoy New York.
- Okay.

00:19:01.641 --> 00:19:04.226
- Thanks, we will.
- Nice meeting you.

00:19:08.147 --> 00:19:10.774
- Good luck.
- Thank you, Phil.

00:19:10.858 --> 00:19:14.569
Now, if you'll excuse me, ladies,
I have a bet to win.

00:19:15.947 --> 00:19:17.155
Ta-ta.

00:19:22.954 --> 00:19:25.038
Now do you wanna tell me
what's going on?

00:19:25.122 --> 00:19:27.040
You don't recognize her?

00:19:33.422 --> 00:19:35.173
Hi!

00:19:35.258 --> 00:19:36.883
- Hi.
- Hi.

00:19:41.138 --> 00:19:43.515
- Andie Anderson.
- Benjamin Barry.

00:19:43.975 --> 00:19:45.475
- Cute.
- Thank you.

00:19:45.560 --> 00:19:46.852
I meant your name.

00:19:48.521 --> 00:19:50.105
Thank you two times.

00:19:50.189 --> 00:19:52.732
- Unattached?
- Currently.

00:19:52.817 --> 00:19:56.278
- Likewise.
- Surprising.

00:19:56.362 --> 00:19:58.780
- Psycho?
- Rarely.

00:20:00.408 --> 00:20:03.577
- Interested?
- Perhaps.

00:20:03.661 --> 00:20:07.247
- Hungry?
- Starving.

00:20:07.331 --> 00:20:09.583
- Leaving.
- Now?

00:20:10.668 --> 00:20:12.544
- Okay.
- Okay.

00:20:12.628 --> 00:20:15.547
- One second.
- I'll meet you at the door.

00:20:17.049 --> 00:20:18.300
Hey, hey, guys.

00:20:18.384 --> 00:20:20.844
- What?
- I think I got one.

00:20:20.928 --> 00:20:23.346
- He was married.
- No, not him.

00:20:23.431 --> 00:20:26.683
It's the guy by the door.
But don't look! No, guys!

00:20:29.353 --> 00:20:31.479
He is really cute.

00:20:31.564 --> 00:20:33.565
I'm gonna check this one out
and see if he's the keeper.

00:20:33.649 --> 00:20:35.609
- Okay.
- And if he is?

00:20:35.693 --> 00:20:38.028
Tomorrow night I'll...

00:20:38.112 --> 00:20:39.863
Flip the switch.

00:20:40.364 --> 00:20:44.034
- I'm doing this for you.
- Well, good luck. Be safe.

00:20:44.118 --> 00:20:45.535
Call me!

00:20:46.871 --> 00:20:48.830
Drama, drama, drama.

00:21:00.509 --> 00:21:02.552
No, no, no. This one.

00:21:15.942 --> 00:21:18.735
And you get to wear
the goofy-looking helmet.

00:21:21.072 --> 00:21:25.492
- It's not gonna look goofy on me.
- It looks goofy on just about everybody.

00:21:25.910 --> 00:21:28.703
Look at you. That's pretty damn cute.

00:21:32.249 --> 00:21:33.792
There you go.

00:21:40.549 --> 00:21:46.429
- You ready to go for a ride, Andie?
- Are you ready to go for a ride, Ben?

00:21:57.984 --> 00:22:00.735
- Get it. Get it?
- Yeah.

00:22:00.820 --> 00:22:04.698
- So what do you think?
- About the food or you?

00:22:04.782 --> 00:22:06.074
Both.

00:22:07.118 --> 00:22:08.785
This is delicious.

00:22:09.328 --> 00:22:11.538
And I'm still deciding.

00:22:11.622 --> 00:22:13.039
Anything I can do to help?

00:22:13.124 --> 00:22:15.875
Yeah, you can answer some questions
for me, actually.

00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:19.504
"Some" sounds a little too indefinite.
I'll give you three.

00:22:19.588 --> 00:22:22.007
- What do you do for a living?
- I'm in advertising.

00:22:22.091 --> 00:22:25.176
I work mostly with alcoholic beverage
and athletic equipment companies,

00:22:25.261 --> 00:22:28.430
and I'm trying to break into
the jewelry market right now.

00:22:29.473 --> 00:22:32.183
Saving the world
one keg party at a time?

00:22:32.268 --> 00:22:34.436
Yeah, something like that.

00:22:38.816 --> 00:22:41.609
- What about you?
- What about me?

00:22:42.737 --> 00:22:45.655
- Have I seen your work?
- I work at Composure.

00:22:45.740 --> 00:22:49.034
Fastest-growing women's
fashion magazine in the country.

00:22:49.118 --> 00:22:50.368
I'm impressed.

00:22:50.453 --> 00:22:53.413
Saving the world
one shopaholic at a time?

00:22:54.665 --> 00:22:57.709
Hey, all right. Look here, Sparky.

00:22:57.793 --> 00:23:00.920
I have a masters in journalism
from Columbia.

00:23:01.005 --> 00:23:04.215
My boss loves me,
and if I do it her way for a while,

00:23:04.300 --> 00:23:06.760
I can write about anything I want.

00:23:06.844 --> 00:23:08.261
Like shoes?

00:23:09.013 --> 00:23:10.096
No.

00:23:10.639 --> 00:23:11.806
No.

00:23:13.225 --> 00:23:16.561
Like alcoholic beverages
and athletic gear.

00:23:18.272 --> 00:23:20.023
Touché. Very nice.

00:23:21.067 --> 00:23:24.277
- So you think you got me all figured out?
- Almost.

00:23:25.946 --> 00:23:28.698
- I still got one last question.
- Shoot.

00:23:30.326 --> 00:23:31.868
True or false?

00:23:35.247 --> 00:23:37.415
All's fair in love and war.

00:23:41.253 --> 00:23:42.420
True.

00:23:46.050 --> 00:23:48.468
- Great answer.
- Good question.

00:23:50.763 --> 00:23:52.055
Welcome.

00:23:55.226 --> 00:23:58.061
- Oh, nice place.
- Thank you.

00:23:58.145 --> 00:23:59.521
Very tidy.

00:24:01.190 --> 00:24:04.109
- Can I get you a cold beer?
- Sure.

00:24:04.193 --> 00:24:06.486
- Can I use your restroom?
- Yeah, you can.

00:24:06.570 --> 00:24:09.364
It's up the stairs through the bedroom.

00:24:12.451 --> 00:24:15.495
You are, aren't you?
The first night. I can't believe you.

00:24:15.579 --> 00:24:17.789
Michelle,
I'm not going to sleep with him.

00:24:17.873 --> 00:24:21.042
Oh, you are such a hussy.
You can't hide those lying eyes.

00:24:21.127 --> 00:24:25.046
No, no, because
I can practice some self-control,

00:24:25.131 --> 00:24:27.632
- unlike some people I know.
- Oh, really? That hurts, kind of.

00:24:36.225 --> 00:24:39.144
- I'm gonna dangle the bait.
- Wait. What's the bait?

00:24:39.228 --> 00:24:41.521
- I'm the bait, Michelle.
- Oh.

00:24:41.605 --> 00:24:44.274
- Yeah.
- Okay, I'm with you. Then what?

00:24:50.573 --> 00:24:53.783
A diamond is no one-night stand.

00:25:01.125 --> 00:25:04.586
A diamond is a long-term commitment.

00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:08.256
- Takes notes. You better record...
- I can't talk right now. I have to go.

00:25:08.340 --> 00:25:10.925
- Call me later, you slut.
- Okay, bye.

00:25:23.022 --> 00:25:24.439
- There you go.
- Thank you.

00:25:24.523 --> 00:25:25.857
You're welcome.

00:26:03.479 --> 00:26:04.646
Okay.

00:26:32.132 --> 00:26:34.926
Hey, hey, let's not go too fast, okay?

00:26:38.681 --> 00:26:39.847
Yeah.

00:26:40.349 --> 00:26:41.599
Yeah.

00:26:54.863 --> 00:26:56.781
We're moving too fast.

00:26:57.533 --> 00:27:00.785
You're right. It's too fast.

00:27:03.539 --> 00:27:04.664
Okay.

00:27:19.346 --> 00:27:21.055
- Too fast.
- Too fast.

00:27:21.807 --> 00:27:22.974
Yeah.

00:27:23.726 --> 00:27:26.060
I want you to respect me.

00:27:27.980 --> 00:27:29.897
- I do.
- Okay.

00:27:31.400 --> 00:27:33.234
And I want your respect.

00:27:34.069 --> 00:27:36.070
I respect you for respecting me.

00:27:36.739 --> 00:27:38.323
I respect that.

00:27:39.658 --> 00:27:40.867
Good.

00:27:51.754 --> 00:27:54.005
Good night, Andie Anderson.

00:27:58.844 --> 00:28:02.347
Oh, you are already
falling in love with me.

00:28:02.431 --> 00:28:05.183
I'm gonna make you wish
you were dead.

00:28:06.935 --> 00:28:08.269
Poor guy.

00:28:18.405 --> 00:28:20.531
Of all the women Spears and Green
could have thrown at me,

00:28:20.616 --> 00:28:22.450
this one is amazing.

00:28:22.576 --> 00:28:25.620
Hanging with her for 10 days
is gonna be no problem.

00:28:25.746 --> 00:28:27.538
Right. That's only nine days longer

00:28:27.623 --> 00:28:29.374
than you've ever spent
with any other chick, huh?

00:28:29.458 --> 00:28:31.042
That's why I didn't
go for the gold immediately.

00:28:31.126 --> 00:28:34.712
I'm taking my time.
It's a marathon, not a sprint.

00:28:34.797 --> 00:28:36.964
Ten days is a marathon?

00:28:37.049 --> 00:28:39.217
Okay, so it's more like
the 3,000 meter hurdles.

00:28:39.301 --> 00:28:41.469
The point is,
she's already on the ropes, guys.

00:28:41.595 --> 00:28:44.305
Wow, that's a lot of sports analogy.

00:28:44.431 --> 00:28:46.641
- Is that it?
- That's it.

00:28:46.767 --> 00:28:48.976
- Have you looked inside?
- No.

00:28:49.103 --> 00:28:52.063
Do you have an ethical problem
with rifling through a woman's purse?

00:28:52.147 --> 00:28:53.731
Yeah, I guess I do.

00:28:53.816 --> 00:28:56.818
Well, it's hardly a purse, dude.
It's more like a clutch or something.

00:28:56.902 --> 00:29:01.072
Guys, a woman's purse, all right,
it's her secret source of power.

00:29:01.156 --> 00:29:04.158
All right, there are many dark
and dangerous things in there

00:29:04.284 --> 00:29:07.829
that we, the male species,
should know nothing about.

00:29:07.955 --> 00:29:10.998
Unless, of course,
she left it behind intentionally

00:29:11.125 --> 00:29:13.459
to secure a next-day call back.

00:29:14.336 --> 00:29:16.337
She's a very clever minx.

00:29:17.923 --> 00:29:20.508
- I'm sorry! Oh, God!
- We gotta clean that up.

00:29:20.592 --> 00:29:22.427
Yeah, yeah.

00:29:22.511 --> 00:29:25.471
Carefully. Carefully.

00:29:27.307 --> 00:29:29.267
Oh, what have we here?

00:29:29.977 --> 00:29:32.019
Let us see. Let us see.

00:29:33.772 --> 00:29:35.356
Knicks tickets.

00:29:36.191 --> 00:29:38.526
For tonight's game.

00:29:39.528 --> 00:29:42.822
- Delivery, Andie.
- Wow, look at those!

00:29:43.532 --> 00:29:46.200
Andie! Oh, my God.

00:29:46.326 --> 00:29:48.703
Where do you want these?

00:29:48.829 --> 00:29:49.871
Wait.

00:29:49.997 --> 00:29:54.959
"One hundred times more beautiful... "

00:29:55.043 --> 00:29:56.377
Wait.

00:29:56.462 --> 00:29:58.880
"... than 100 roses. "

00:29:59.006 --> 00:30:01.799
- Catchy.
- The guy's in advertising.

00:30:01.884 --> 00:30:05.636
- He can't help it.
- So does this mean he's hooked?

00:30:05.721 --> 00:30:07.972
This means he found the Knicks tickets.

00:30:08.056 --> 00:30:11.225
- You left the tickets in the purse?
- Yeah.

00:30:11.310 --> 00:30:14.562
You are just
on a whole different playing field.

00:30:15.355 --> 00:30:16.731
Here you go.

00:30:18.233 --> 00:30:19.901
Andie Anderson.

00:30:20.694 --> 00:30:23.237
- Hey, hey, pretty girl.
- Guess what?

00:30:23.363 --> 00:30:26.491
I got a really embarrassing display
of white roses.

00:30:26.575 --> 00:30:29.577
Well, you are welcome. Listen,
I had a wonderful time last night.

00:30:29.703 --> 00:30:33.498
- I have your bag.
- I know.

00:30:33.582 --> 00:30:36.000
I can't believe I left it there.

00:30:37.252 --> 00:30:41.839
Well, you must need it back,
what with all the cash, credit cards

00:30:41.924 --> 00:30:44.592
and those Knicks tickets
for tonight's game.

00:30:44.718 --> 00:30:47.345
Sounds like you've been peeking
through my bag, Ben.

00:30:47.429 --> 00:30:48.513
Oh, absolutely not.

00:30:48.597 --> 00:30:52.683
Tony, my art director, he's an oaf,
and he accidentally knocked it over.

00:30:52.768 --> 00:30:54.810
Right. Yeah, I'm a clumsy man.

00:30:56.104 --> 00:30:57.438
All right. I'm sorry, though.

00:30:57.564 --> 00:30:59.690
I'm going to the game
with somebody else.

00:30:59.775 --> 00:31:01.192
Not anymore.

00:31:01.276 --> 00:31:04.195
Besides, what, you think you left
your purse at my place by accident?

00:31:04.279 --> 00:31:05.780
No, subconsciously, you are dying

00:31:06.281 --> 00:31:07.281
to take me to that game.

00:31:07.699 --> 00:31:09.367
Denying your subconscious desires

00:31:09.451 --> 00:31:11.786
is extremely dangerous to your health,
young lady.

00:31:11.912 --> 00:31:13.871
Does that psychobabble
really work on anybody?

00:31:13.956 --> 00:31:15.540
You tell me.

00:31:16.792 --> 00:31:18.960
Andie, you're so bad.

00:31:21.588 --> 00:31:24.215
All right, meet me
at the 7th Avenue entrance.

00:31:24.299 --> 00:31:27.051
-7:30. Don't be late.
- You got it.

00:31:27.135 --> 00:31:28.886
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.

00:31:31.640 --> 00:31:34.725
- And that's how it's done.
- And that's how it's done.

00:31:40.440 --> 00:31:43.609
Foul on number 20, Allan Houston.

00:31:45.404 --> 00:31:47.488
- Bullshit! Come on, ref!
- What is that, ref?

00:31:47.614 --> 00:31:50.658
Hey, if you're going to call it,
call it both ways.

00:31:50.784 --> 00:31:52.743
Oh, you're soft, man!

00:31:52.828 --> 00:31:56.330
You were soft last year,
and you're still soft!

00:31:56.999 --> 00:31:58.624
What was that?

00:32:04.131 --> 00:32:07.258
There we go. Work it around.

00:32:12.306 --> 00:32:13.681
Defense!

00:32:14.141 --> 00:32:16.434
- Defense!
- Come on, buddy.

00:32:16.518 --> 00:32:17.852
Defense!

00:32:18.770 --> 00:32:20.104
Defense!

00:32:21.273 --> 00:32:22.690
Defense!

00:32:22.816 --> 00:32:24.275
Knicks call a 20-second timeout.

00:32:24.359 --> 00:32:26.694
All right, take your five.
Take your minute.

00:32:28.614 --> 00:32:32.700
This is all right. We got 20 seconds.
A 20-second T.

00:33:06.026 --> 00:33:07.526
Knicks ball.

00:33:10.322 --> 00:33:11.489
Bring it back!

00:33:11.573 --> 00:33:13.532
Charge!

00:33:14.493 --> 00:33:16.577
Work your arm, baby.

00:33:16.662 --> 00:33:19.747
- Charge!
- Go, baby.

00:33:19.873 --> 00:33:22.333
- Hold 'em up!
- Charge!

00:33:22.417 --> 00:33:23.834
- Benny.
- What? What? Yeah?

00:33:23.919 --> 00:33:25.920
Benny, I'm thirsty.

00:33:26.046 --> 00:33:28.089
- Yeah, yeah!
- Benny, can you go get me a soda?

00:33:28.173 --> 00:33:30.091
- Yeah, I just wanna tell you, right now...
- I'm parched.

00:33:30.175 --> 00:33:31.509
...there's a minute, nine left
in the game,

00:33:31.593 --> 00:33:33.844
- and then I'll go up and get it.
- I'm really thirsty.

00:33:33.929 --> 00:33:36.347
- I'll go get it.
- Hang on.

00:33:36.431 --> 00:33:39.183
- You want it right now?
- Yeah.

00:33:39.267 --> 00:33:42.103
Okay, no ice, Ben. Thanks, Benny.

00:33:43.105 --> 00:33:45.272
Lawrence Funderburke!

00:33:48.110 --> 00:33:51.529
Here's Sprewell with the fake.
Gets the step on Christie.

00:33:51.613 --> 00:33:54.198
- What a crossover!
- My man, Coke, no ice.

00:33:54.282 --> 00:33:56.033
- Next line over, pal.
- No ice.

00:33:56.118 --> 00:33:59.954
Hey, buddy. Small Coke, no ice.
Small Coke, no ice.

00:34:00.080 --> 00:34:01.872
Okay, you got it.

00:34:01.957 --> 00:34:03.958
Just beyond the three-point line. Fires!

00:34:04.084 --> 00:34:07.294
- No! Man, don't let him have that shot!
- Does that mean no, you don't want ice,

00:34:07.379 --> 00:34:10.381
- or no, you want ice?
- No. No, no ice. Coke, no ice.

00:34:10.465 --> 00:34:12.967
Don Chaney wants to talk it over.

00:34:13.093 --> 00:34:15.803
- Did you want a small?
- No, I want that one, right there.

00:34:15.887 --> 00:34:18.639
You know, for 25 cents more,
you could get a jumbo.

00:34:18.724 --> 00:34:21.642
You take that right there.
Keep the change.

00:34:24.479 --> 00:34:26.397
Charge!

00:34:31.111 --> 00:34:32.153
Excuse me.

00:34:36.324 --> 00:34:39.410
Come on, baby, drive in the net!

00:34:39.494 --> 00:34:40.745
Thanks.

00:34:40.829 --> 00:34:44.665
Hey, hold him, hold him. Move it.
Set your pick!

00:34:44.791 --> 00:34:49.003
- Watch the three seconds! Traveling!
- Ben, it's not diet. Ben, it's not diet.

00:34:49.087 --> 00:34:51.505
Please, I'm so thirsty.

00:34:52.340 --> 00:34:55.342
- With a lime. With a lime.
- All right, all right.

00:35:03.435 --> 00:35:04.852
Shoot it!

00:35:05.520 --> 00:35:08.314
Sprewell for the win. Yes!

00:35:09.816 --> 00:35:12.526
Latrell Sprewell!

00:35:13.320 --> 00:35:17.698
It's all over. The Knicks have defeated
the Kings in the final seconds.

00:35:17.783 --> 00:35:21.452
Latrell Sprewell
with the game-winning shot.

00:35:21.536 --> 00:35:25.873
And the Knicks over Sacramento 97-96.

00:35:27.876 --> 00:35:29.960
What an incredible game!

00:35:30.045 --> 00:35:33.798
I've never seen a more exciting game
played before.

00:35:33.882 --> 00:35:36.634
Wow. You know, neither have I.

00:35:36.718 --> 00:35:40.054
Hey, hey, hey. It's too bad you missed it.

00:35:41.056 --> 00:35:44.016
- Yeah, it's too bad.
- One second.

00:35:46.353 --> 00:35:50.189
So, are you as nice as you seem, Ben?

00:35:53.318 --> 00:35:54.485
No.

00:35:58.240 --> 00:35:59.740
Good, neither am I.

00:35:59.825 --> 00:36:01.158
Oh, here.

00:36:02.744 --> 00:36:05.871
Fifth and Twelfth, please. See you later.

00:36:12.879 --> 00:36:14.421
Horseshit!

00:36:14.506 --> 00:36:16.090
More horseshit.

00:36:17.175 --> 00:36:20.177
The horseshit continues. Horseshit.

00:36:20.262 --> 00:36:21.846
Come on, people.

00:36:21.930 --> 00:36:24.348
We gotta do a lot better than this
if we're gonna...

00:36:24.432 --> 00:36:27.768
- What?
- There's a phone call for Mr. Barry.

00:36:27.894 --> 00:36:31.564
- Yeah, can you take a message, Candi?
- Mr. Barry, it's Andie.

00:36:33.692 --> 00:36:35.860
- Make it quick.
- I will.

00:36:35.944 --> 00:36:38.237
- It's line two, Mr. Barry.
- Thank you.

00:36:42.200 --> 00:36:45.286
- Hello.
- It's me!

00:36:45.412 --> 00:36:48.539
Listen, I'm in the middle of a meeting.
Can I call you back in just a minute?

00:36:48.623 --> 00:36:52.626
I miss you,
Benny Boo-Boo Boo-Boo-Boo.

00:36:52.711 --> 00:36:55.462
Well, you know what, I miss you, too.

00:36:55.547 --> 00:36:57.131
You busy tonight?

00:36:58.091 --> 00:36:59.466
No. No, I'm not.

00:36:59.551 --> 00:37:01.051
Why don't we catch a movie
or something?

00:37:01.136 --> 00:37:03.721
- A movie? My choice?
- Your choice.

00:37:03.805 --> 00:37:07.975
Oh, I'm so excited!
Okay, I'll call you later.

00:37:08.101 --> 00:37:09.643
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.

00:37:15.609 --> 00:37:16.817
Jonah!

00:37:18.403 --> 00:37:21.113
I always wanted a man like Tom Hanks.

00:37:24.242 --> 00:37:27.828
- It's my favorite movie of all time.
- Yeah, me, too.

00:37:28.288 --> 00:37:31.415
What if something
had happened to you?

00:37:31.499 --> 00:37:33.500
What if I couldn't get to you?

00:37:34.628 --> 00:37:38.255
- What are you thinking about?
- Nothing. I'm watching the movie.

00:37:39.090 --> 00:37:41.133
Yeah, but what's on your mind?

00:37:42.844 --> 00:37:44.678
I like this movie.

00:37:45.013 --> 00:37:47.348
Oh, so I suppose
your mind is a complete blank?

00:37:47.432 --> 00:37:50.351
You are my family. You're all I've got.

00:37:50.435 --> 00:37:51.852
Who is she?

00:37:54.022 --> 00:37:56.273
- Who's who?
- The girl you're thinking about.

00:37:56.358 --> 00:37:59.360
- Can't hear.
- I'm not thinking about a girl.

00:37:59.444 --> 00:38:03.113
You can't watch Meg Ryan for two hours
and not be thinking about another girl.

00:38:03.198 --> 00:38:04.657
Lady, shut up.

00:38:05.200 --> 00:38:07.451
Wanna know what I'm thinking about?

00:38:07.953 --> 00:38:09.203
Yes.

00:38:09.829 --> 00:38:13.958
I'm sitting here thinking about
how damn beautiful you are.

00:38:14.042 --> 00:38:15.209
That's what I'm thinking about.

00:38:15.335 --> 00:38:17.962
Come here.
Let's watch this movie. It's good.

00:38:22.384 --> 00:38:23.676
Benji.

00:38:27.472 --> 00:38:29.473
Oh, sweetie.

00:38:29.891 --> 00:38:32.643
- I love sharing this with you.
- Yeah.

00:38:32.727 --> 00:38:33.978
Can't hear and can't see.

00:38:34.062 --> 00:38:37.064
If you don't shut up,
my boyfriend over here

00:38:37.190 --> 00:38:39.650
is gonna come back there
and pummel your ass.

00:38:39.734 --> 00:38:42.486
Put a muzzle on your old lady
the next time you bring her out in public!

00:38:42.570 --> 00:38:45.990
- What? What is that? Do something...
- You, outside!

00:38:48.910 --> 00:38:50.244
Keep it down.

00:38:50.996 --> 00:38:52.162
Have a little class, all right?

00:38:52.247 --> 00:38:54.164
You wanna talk like that to me,
we can work it out,

00:38:54.249 --> 00:38:57.167
- but not to a lady, all right?
- Ben, Ben, he's huge.

00:38:57.252 --> 00:38:59.753
I got it. I'm not looking
to get into a fight with the guy, okay?

00:38:59.879 --> 00:39:02.006
He owes you an apology.

00:39:04.426 --> 00:39:09.263
Now I'm gonna go back inside and
finish watching Sleepless in Seattle.

00:39:09.389 --> 00:39:12.516
- Nobody screw with me.
- Son of a bitch.

00:39:12.600 --> 00:39:15.936
Oh, Ben, are you okay?

00:39:16.062 --> 00:39:18.439
Ben, Ben,
maybe we should get you to a hospital.

00:39:18.565 --> 00:39:20.441
- No, no, no.
- No, you could have a...

00:39:20.525 --> 00:39:21.942
Excuse me?

00:39:22.068 --> 00:39:23.861
Hey, can you hold still?
Right there. Hold still.

00:39:23.945 --> 00:39:25.612
Okay, I'm sorry.

00:39:27.240 --> 00:39:30.451
Yeah. That's feeling real nice.
It's starting to feel a little better.

00:39:30.535 --> 00:39:33.078
Ben. Ben.

00:39:34.164 --> 00:39:38.167
Ben! Oh, my God! You're fine.

00:39:38.752 --> 00:39:41.295
You are totally fine.

00:39:42.422 --> 00:39:45.674
Okay, come on, Rocky. Get up.

00:39:48.803 --> 00:39:50.554
- Huh?
- Yeah.

00:39:50.638 --> 00:39:52.097
Hey, don't feel bad.

00:39:52.182 --> 00:39:55.809
If I had a nickel for every time
I got in a fistfight during a chick flick...

00:39:55.935 --> 00:39:58.103
- Right. It really wasn't that bad.
- Really?

00:39:58.188 --> 00:40:00.731
No, I mean, the getting punched
in the face part sucked, right?

00:40:00.815 --> 00:40:03.901
The getting taken care of
after the punch, it was nice.

00:40:03.985 --> 00:40:06.320
Florence Nightingale syndrome.

00:40:07.489 --> 00:40:09.990
You want me to tape
the game for you, tonight?

00:40:10.116 --> 00:40:13.077
No need, my friend.
I'll be watching the Knicks

00:40:13.161 --> 00:40:15.621
in the comfort of my own home,
this evening.

00:40:15.705 --> 00:40:17.539
How'd you swing that?

00:40:17.665 --> 00:40:20.125
What's the coup de grâce?
Heavyweight.

00:40:20.210 --> 00:40:22.419
- You're making the lamb.
- Voilà.

00:40:22.504 --> 00:40:24.379
A woman loves a man who can cook.
Yeah?

00:40:24.506 --> 00:40:25.631
Bringing out the big guns.

00:40:25.715 --> 00:40:27.132
- Let's go deep.
- I like it.

00:40:28.218 --> 00:40:29.718
Why do they always forget my bacon?

00:40:29.844 --> 00:40:32.346
I can't believe
you got that guy knocked out.

00:40:32.472 --> 00:40:34.598
Only for a few seconds.

00:40:34.682 --> 00:40:39.394
He was the most adorable
unconscious man, ever.

00:40:40.355 --> 00:40:44.066
Are you dating him,
or are you contemplating adoption?

00:40:45.193 --> 00:40:48.529
Andie, I am loving your notes
on this piece.

00:40:51.366 --> 00:40:52.449
Thank you, Lana.

00:40:52.534 --> 00:40:55.160
- When are you seeing him again?
- Tonight.

00:40:56.037 --> 00:40:58.205
He's invited me over for dinner.

00:40:58.331 --> 00:41:01.959
Marvelous.
I've got a feeling about this one.

00:41:02.043 --> 00:41:03.961
Thanks, Lana.

00:41:04.045 --> 00:41:05.921
I hate it
when she pops her head in like that.

00:41:06.047 --> 00:41:08.715
- I never...
- I heard that.

00:41:08.842 --> 00:41:12.052
And, Andie, tonight, take smaller bites.

00:41:15.098 --> 00:41:20.185
- Oh, my God.
- Disgusting. I can barely eat over here.

00:41:24.858 --> 00:41:26.900
Come on in. Door's open.

00:41:29.571 --> 00:41:31.488
- Hi!
- Hey there.

00:41:31.906 --> 00:41:36.368
I hope you brought your appetite, girl.
We've got a feast tonight.

00:41:41.916 --> 00:41:44.918
Benny, isn't that sweet.

00:41:45.837 --> 00:41:47.754
Go ahead and pour yourself
a glass of wine.

00:41:47.839 --> 00:41:51.758
We got dinner in about five
and tipoff in about eight.

00:41:51.843 --> 00:41:54.052
Great. I'm starving.

00:42:06.107 --> 00:42:10.944
Oh, so perfectly pink!

00:42:31.633 --> 00:42:36.303
Sheryl, Tori, Sinead,
Jewel, Fiona, Carly.

00:42:36.429 --> 00:42:40.140
- The gang's all here!
- Great!

00:42:41.601 --> 00:42:43.477
We got two minutes to game time.

00:42:43.603 --> 00:42:47.064
You walked into the party

00:42:47.148 --> 00:42:51.235
Like you were walking onto a yacht

00:42:51.319 --> 00:42:56.782
Your hat strategically dipped
below one eye

00:42:56.866 --> 00:42:59.910
Your scarf it was apricot

00:42:59.994 --> 00:43:02.871
Wow! Look at all this stuff.

00:43:03.873 --> 00:43:09.169
Those are cute,
and I saw the new comforter.

00:43:09.545 --> 00:43:13.882
And all the girls dreamed that
they'd be Ben's partner

00:43:13.967 --> 00:43:17.219
They'd be Ben's partner

00:43:17.303 --> 00:43:20.555
- What you got in the box?
- Oh.

00:43:22.934 --> 00:43:25.143
- It's a baby fern.
- Really?

00:43:25.228 --> 00:43:27.896
- Oh, yeah?
- Just like our relationship,

00:43:27.981 --> 00:43:31.942
a helpless little baby
in need of tender, loving care.

00:43:34.862 --> 00:43:36.238
Thank you.

00:43:37.740 --> 00:43:39.157
Sit down.

00:43:40.451 --> 00:43:43.745
Have a seat. Get ready.

00:43:45.164 --> 00:43:48.792
Game two.
Welcome to the front row, madame.

00:43:49.168 --> 00:43:51.169
Oh, oh. Up here.

00:43:54.257 --> 00:43:56.174
Dinner is served.

00:43:56.259 --> 00:44:00.178
Chef's special tonight,
lamb with a cherry glaze.

00:44:00.263 --> 00:44:04.433
Let's start you off with the main dish.

00:44:04.517 --> 00:44:08.186
Right about there. And a few carrots.

00:44:09.939 --> 00:44:12.858
Wait, wait. Hey. Hey. You okay?

00:44:13.901 --> 00:44:15.485
It's beautiful.

00:44:18.156 --> 00:44:20.198
- Thanks.
- You're beautiful,

00:44:20.283 --> 00:44:22.409
the game, the whole thing.

00:44:24.746 --> 00:44:26.580
I wish I ate meat.

00:44:30.043 --> 00:44:34.671
Mary had a little lamb, little lamb

00:44:36.966 --> 00:44:39.801
You have to take it away before I gag.

00:44:42.221 --> 00:44:44.181
This stuff's for cows.

00:44:50.188 --> 00:44:51.355
- Hi.
- Hi.

00:44:51.439 --> 00:44:55.400
- How you doing?
- Just a little indigestion.

00:44:55.485 --> 00:44:57.069
Are you okay?

00:44:57.153 --> 00:44:59.654
All right. Excuse me, ma'am.

00:44:59.739 --> 00:45:02.366
You happen to know the score
of the Knicks game?

00:45:02.450 --> 00:45:06.286
Do I look like the kind of person
who knows the score of a Knicks game?

00:45:06.371 --> 00:45:07.913
No, you don't.

00:45:10.833 --> 00:45:13.210
Is something wrong with the barley?

00:45:13.878 --> 00:45:15.420
No, no.

00:45:20.968 --> 00:45:23.387
My boyfriend thinks I'm fat!

00:45:26.766 --> 00:45:28.767
And I can't eat in front of him.

00:45:28.851 --> 00:45:31.061
I can't eat in front of you!

00:45:31.145 --> 00:45:34.731
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- I don't think you're fat.

00:45:38.152 --> 00:45:40.195
I don't think she's fat.

00:45:49.622 --> 00:45:52.332
- What's happening?
- Sprewell just tied it up.

00:45:52.417 --> 00:45:55.293
- Twenty-three seconds left, Knicks ball.
- ... Allan Houston with the ball.

00:45:55.378 --> 00:45:57.129
Oh, come on!

00:45:57.213 --> 00:45:59.047
There it is. There it is.

00:45:59.757 --> 00:46:02.509
That was in! Come on. Get it back.

00:46:05.888 --> 00:46:08.348
Get the ball back! Get the ball back!

00:46:09.308 --> 00:46:10.475
A spin by Jackson.

00:46:10.560 --> 00:46:12.602
- No!
- Jackson able to hit,

00:46:12.687 --> 00:46:14.271
and the game has run out.

00:46:14.355 --> 00:46:17.691
The Kings have beat the Knicks.
Their first win of the series.

00:46:17.775 --> 00:46:19.276
It's 97-95, Sacramento.

00:46:19.360 --> 00:46:20.402
Next game.

00:46:27.493 --> 00:46:29.619
Well, that was fun.

00:46:30.621 --> 00:46:35.333
Okay, 11:25 sports. There we are.

00:46:35.418 --> 00:46:36.918
...cut it to ten.

00:46:38.087 --> 00:46:40.505
It's Mark Jackson
with a no-look pass to Kurt Thomas.

00:46:40.590 --> 00:46:43.049
- Sorry we missed the game.
- Post. Post.

00:46:43.134 --> 00:46:45.010
Reverse!

00:46:46.095 --> 00:46:49.306
- There we go, baby.
- I can't believe he missed that shot.

00:46:49.390 --> 00:46:52.476
Take it! Take it! Hit it!

00:46:52.560 --> 00:46:54.060
No!

00:46:54.145 --> 00:46:57.439
How the hell did you know
he was gonna miss that shot?

00:46:58.024 --> 00:47:01.651
He always misses the shot
from the top of the key.

00:47:01.736 --> 00:47:04.488
That's the way it ended as the Knicks
could not get off another shot.

00:47:06.324 --> 00:47:08.200
Oh, man.

00:47:10.495 --> 00:47:13.580
Houston never misses
from the top of the key.

00:47:24.675 --> 00:47:27.802
Does Princess Sophia
wanna come out and play?

00:47:28.513 --> 00:47:30.972
Who's Princess Sophia?

00:47:33.851 --> 00:47:39.105
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Wait, wait. You're kidding me, right?

00:47:39.190 --> 00:47:41.441
- Princess Sophia?
- Little, big. Little, big.

00:47:41.526 --> 00:47:43.902
I don't know. We will find out.

00:47:44.654 --> 00:47:46.905
You know, hang on a second.

00:47:48.658 --> 00:47:52.410
All right, listen, you can't name
my member Princess Sophia.

00:47:52.495 --> 00:47:54.329
- It doesn't...
- Yes, I can.

00:47:54.413 --> 00:47:58.208
Listen to me. If you're gonna
name my member, all right,

00:47:58.292 --> 00:48:00.794
you gotta name it
something hyper-masculine, okay?

00:48:00.878 --> 00:48:02.462
Something like Spike or Butch

00:48:02.547 --> 00:48:05.048
or Krull, the Warrior King,
but not Princess Sophia.

00:48:05.132 --> 00:48:06.758
What did you just say?

00:48:08.010 --> 00:48:10.262
Spike. You know what I mean?

00:48:10.346 --> 00:48:13.139
- No, no, after Spike.
- Butch.

00:48:13.224 --> 00:48:14.849
After Butch.

00:48:18.062 --> 00:48:20.438
Krull, the Warrior King.

00:48:20.523 --> 00:48:25.485
Does Krull, the Warrior King
want to come out and play?

00:48:27.905 --> 00:48:30.740
- No.
- Come on out of there.

00:48:31.367 --> 00:48:33.868
- Krull!
- You know what?

00:48:35.246 --> 00:48:37.664
Due to intense humiliation,

00:48:37.748 --> 00:48:42.544
the king has momentarily
abdicated his throne, okay?

00:48:44.422 --> 00:48:46.923
- Yeah.
- Well, in that case,

00:48:48.342 --> 00:48:50.135
I better get going.

00:48:54.181 --> 00:48:56.308
Take care of our love fern, honey.

00:49:14.201 --> 00:49:15.452
Hi.

00:49:16.954 --> 00:49:18.872
Can I see you tomorrow?

00:49:18.956 --> 00:49:21.249
- Really?
- I hope so.

00:49:23.669 --> 00:49:24.836
- Call me.
- I will.

00:49:24.920 --> 00:49:26.963
- And I'll call you.
- Sweet dreams.

00:49:27.048 --> 00:49:28.715
Answer your phone!

00:49:29.383 --> 00:49:30.717
What?

00:49:32.386 --> 00:49:33.428
What was "icy" again?

00:49:33.888 --> 00:49:35.430
"Arctic, freezing, frigid. "

00:49:37.475 --> 00:49:40.226
- How about "glitter"?
- Thayer's favorite movie.

00:49:40.311 --> 00:49:41.978
It was underrated.

00:49:42.647 --> 00:49:45.065
"Glint, glisten, scintillation. "

00:49:45.691 --> 00:49:48.526
- Scintillation, that's not bad.
- That sucks.

00:49:48.611 --> 00:49:52.781
Guys, let's take a break.
A little coffee and nine ball. Shake it up.

00:49:52.865 --> 00:49:57.494
Maybe I'll be able to concentrate
since the woman is driving me crazy.

00:49:57.578 --> 00:50:00.538
Which woman,
Andie or Princess Sophia?

00:50:01.791 --> 00:50:04.000
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Wait a second. I thought you said,

00:50:04.085 --> 00:50:06.002
after the Knicks game,
that she was a goddess.

00:50:06.087 --> 00:50:08.463
Oh, she was.
That was the good Andie, guys.

00:50:08.547 --> 00:50:11.841
This amazing, fun, cool, sexy woman.

00:50:11.926 --> 00:50:13.677
I'm talking about the evil Andie now.

00:50:13.761 --> 00:50:17.222
It's like a crack-enhanced
Kathie Lee Gifford.

00:50:17.306 --> 00:50:19.140
She's probably bipolar.

00:50:19.225 --> 00:50:21.685
Well, her south pole's
definitely prevailing.

00:50:21.769 --> 00:50:25.105
Well, all you gotta do
is rock it for five more days.

00:50:25.189 --> 00:50:28.108
- Muffin!
- Which shouldn't be too difficult.

00:50:28.192 --> 00:50:29.943
- Hi.
- Andie, my sweetie.

00:50:30.027 --> 00:50:31.695
We were just talking about you.

00:50:31.779 --> 00:50:33.530
- Hi.
- Hello, there.

00:50:33.614 --> 00:50:35.699
- How are you? You look gorgeous.
- Thank you.

00:50:35.783 --> 00:50:38.284
- This is Tony and this is Thayer.
- Oh, yes.

00:50:38.411 --> 00:50:40.620
Benny-Wenny's told me
so much about you two.

00:50:40.746 --> 00:50:44.290
Oh, well, Benny-Wenny
said wonderful things about you, too.

00:50:44.417 --> 00:50:47.127
Oh, they don't look so simpleminded.

00:50:47.211 --> 00:50:49.629
Honey, look what I got for us.

00:50:51.632 --> 00:50:54.551
Look at that. Come on. Come on.

00:50:54.635 --> 00:50:57.971
- Wow!
- Look at him go. What is it?

00:50:58.973 --> 00:51:01.474
It's a Chinese Crested, of course.

00:51:01.600 --> 00:51:04.227
No kidding. A Chinese Crested.

00:51:04.311 --> 00:51:06.479
So, it's like a dog, right?

00:51:06.605 --> 00:51:09.733
- Whoa! There he is.
- Ben. Ben.

00:51:09.817 --> 00:51:11.401
You're hurting Krull's feelings.

00:51:11.485 --> 00:51:14.738
- Krull, is it?
- Krull. Krull, the Warrior king.

00:51:14.822 --> 00:51:16.906
Well, sure, 'cause that's clearly what...

00:51:16.991 --> 00:51:19.159
Oh, wait. There's more.

00:51:19.285 --> 00:51:20.994
- What do you got there?
- Oh, nice.

00:51:21.078 --> 00:51:23.663
- For me? Get out of town.
- Try it on.

00:51:23.748 --> 00:51:26.166
- Looks like the inside of a raincoat.
- Matches!

00:51:26.250 --> 00:51:27.667
Oh, yeah,
that's gonna fit nicely, sweetie.

00:51:27.793 --> 00:51:29.169
- Try it on.
- Thank you.

00:51:29.295 --> 00:51:30.503
No, Ben, put it on.

00:51:30.629 --> 00:51:33.506
No, you should try it on, otherwise
you don't know if it's gonna fit.

00:51:33.632 --> 00:51:35.675
- Go for it.
- Manners never hurt anybody.

00:51:35.801 --> 00:51:37.761
I was just gonna save it
for a special occasion.

00:51:37.845 --> 00:51:39.804
All right. Check that out.

00:51:40.639 --> 00:51:42.265
Oh, yeah, that's nice.

00:51:42.349 --> 00:51:43.767
Hey.

00:51:43.851 --> 00:51:46.144
You're a vision in khaki.

00:51:47.688 --> 00:51:52.442
It's gonna be a happy little family,
just the three of us.

00:51:52.526 --> 00:51:54.611
We are, aren't we?

00:51:54.695 --> 00:51:57.197
- Wow.
- He's our boy, Ben.

00:51:57.281 --> 00:51:59.199
Oh, see, that's sweet.

00:52:02.870 --> 00:52:06.956
Hey, hey, hey, Andie.
It is good to see you, too, sweetie.

00:52:07.041 --> 00:52:09.459
Got you. Got you, got you, got you.

00:52:11.128 --> 00:52:13.379
He's just not potty-trained yet.

00:52:13.506 --> 00:52:16.216
Whoa! Okay, well, he's a pisser.

00:52:16.550 --> 00:52:19.219
- Come here, little tinkle king.
- No, no, no.

00:52:19.345 --> 00:52:22.388
- Come here, tinkle king.
- He is a tinkle king.

00:52:22.515 --> 00:52:24.390
My little tinkler. You tinkle, tinkle.

00:52:24.517 --> 00:52:27.644
Well, congratulations, little plaid family.

00:52:27.728 --> 00:52:29.312
You know, we got
a whole bunch of work we gotta do,

00:52:29.396 --> 00:52:31.397
but we're still on for poker
at your house, this week, yeah?

00:52:31.524 --> 00:52:33.983
- Oh, you can count on it.
- Boys night.

00:52:34.068 --> 00:52:37.487
Well, it was nice meeting you
and, of course, Krull.

00:52:37.571 --> 00:52:38.905
Bye. Say bye, Krully.

00:52:38.989 --> 00:52:40.156
Little soap and water will take that off.

00:52:40.241 --> 00:52:42.325
- He goes, "Woof, woof. "
- Yeah, thank you, buds.

00:52:42.409 --> 00:52:44.369
Oh, come here.

00:52:45.246 --> 00:52:48.081
- Do you love him?
- Oh, I do.

00:52:48.749 --> 00:52:50.667
Oh, look at Krull's necklace.

00:52:50.751 --> 00:52:53.002
He's got more ice than Liberace,
don't you?

00:52:53.087 --> 00:52:55.213
Oh, it's just a little frosting.

00:52:58.592 --> 00:53:00.552
- Frosting?
- Frosting.

00:53:01.929 --> 00:53:04.889
We were thinking bold, new, fresh.

00:53:05.266 --> 00:53:06.933
Frost yourself.

00:53:07.685 --> 00:53:09.853
- Excuse me?
- Frost yourself.

00:53:09.937 --> 00:53:11.938
- The slogan for the campaign.
- You frost a cake.

00:53:12.022 --> 00:53:13.356
We're in the middle
of a meeting, Benjamin.

00:53:13.440 --> 00:53:15.775
I'm talking about diamonds.
They're frosting.

00:53:15.901 --> 00:53:19.195
As in, "Whoa,
would you check out her frosting. "

00:53:19.280 --> 00:53:20.446
Frost yourself.

00:53:20.573 --> 00:53:22.031
- Frost yourself.
- How did you come up with it?

00:53:22.116 --> 00:53:25.285
I got it off the woman
who's falling madly in love with me.

00:53:25.411 --> 00:53:27.704
It may have possibilities,
but as far as the woman

00:53:27.788 --> 00:53:31.207
who's falling madly in love with you,
I will decide that at the party.

00:53:31.292 --> 00:53:33.042
- If he can get her there.
- Now just think about it.

00:53:33.127 --> 00:53:37.255
- Ladies, frost yourself.
- Frost yourself.

00:53:37.715 --> 00:53:39.132
We can introduce it at the party.

00:53:39.216 --> 00:53:40.550
- It should be the theme.
- Yes.

00:53:40.634 --> 00:53:42.135
- Everything frosted.
- All of it.

00:53:42.219 --> 00:53:44.554
- Martini glasses.
- Chandeliers.

00:53:44.638 --> 00:53:46.472
- Jewels everywhere.
- The women.

00:53:46.557 --> 00:53:50.602
- The whole party, a sparkling diamond.
- All of it frosted.

00:53:53.147 --> 00:53:56.232
Women of New York, frost yourselves!

00:53:56.317 --> 00:53:59.986
- Hey, frost this!
- Well, I like it.

00:54:04.909 --> 00:54:07.744
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you.

00:54:07.828 --> 00:54:10.747
You have 17 new messages.

00:54:10.831 --> 00:54:14.334
- Message one, received at 5:44.
- Sit down. Sit.

00:54:14.418 --> 00:54:17.003
Hi, sweetie pea. It's me.
Where are you?

00:54:17.129 --> 00:54:20.506
- I'm not home.
- Two, received at 5:47.

00:54:20.633 --> 00:54:23.593
Benny, it's Andie.
Guess you're not home.

00:54:23.677 --> 00:54:26.095
Three, received at 5:48.

00:54:26.180 --> 00:54:28.431
Benny bear,
are you not answering your phone?

00:54:28.515 --> 00:54:32.518
- Yes, I am.
- Four, received at 5:49.

00:54:32.603 --> 00:54:35.688
Hey, buddy. Game three tonight.
Blondie's. Don't be late. I will kill you.

00:54:35.814 --> 00:54:37.315
- Who is it?
- It's me.

00:54:37.399 --> 00:54:41.319
- Five, received at 5:52.
- It's me.

00:54:45.574 --> 00:54:47.825
- What a surprise.
- I've been trying to get a hold of you.

00:54:47.910 --> 00:54:51.037
- Yeah?
- I did something kind of wacky.

00:54:52.247 --> 00:54:53.665
- Yeah?
- Yes.

00:54:53.749 --> 00:54:57.293
I used Photoshop at work today
to composite our faces together

00:54:57.378 --> 00:54:59.462
to see what our kids would look like.

00:54:59.546 --> 00:55:01.381
"Our family album. "

00:55:14.853 --> 00:55:17.271
You don't wanna see our children?

00:55:17.731 --> 00:55:21.067
We don't have children.

00:55:33.414 --> 00:55:34.956
I hate you.

00:55:37.084 --> 00:55:40.878
You know what? I'm sorry. No, no, no.
I didn't mean it like that.

00:55:40.963 --> 00:55:43.506
All right? Show me, show me,
show me, show me.

00:55:43.590 --> 00:55:46.259
- Please show me.
- "We don't have children!"

00:55:46.385 --> 00:55:50.054
No, I thought you meant Krull.
I just wanted...

00:55:50.139 --> 00:55:52.640
- Will you show them to me?
- You don't wanna see them.

00:55:52.766 --> 00:55:54.350
I do. Please.

00:55:54.435 --> 00:55:58.104
Please show them to me.
I really do wanna see them.

00:55:58.230 --> 00:55:59.564
Really?

00:56:00.649 --> 00:56:02.233
- Yeah.
- Okay.

00:56:03.444 --> 00:56:05.445
Oh, that's our wedding.

00:56:08.323 --> 00:56:11.909
And this is our first child, Benny Jr.

00:56:13.078 --> 00:56:14.912
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

00:56:16.290 --> 00:56:18.666
Oh, there's us vacationing in Hawaii.

00:56:19.460 --> 00:56:23.963
Little Andie's on my shoulders
and Benjamin Jr. on yours.

00:56:24.089 --> 00:56:25.840
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:25.966 --> 00:56:28.968
There's little Andie.
Oh, there are the kids in Switzerland.

00:56:29.094 --> 00:56:30.803
Yode-lodeling.

00:56:30.929 --> 00:56:32.680
Our kids are really

00:56:34.266 --> 00:56:35.600
attractive.

00:56:41.607 --> 00:56:42.857
Yeah?

00:56:44.359 --> 00:56:45.818
Hey, Mom.

00:56:46.320 --> 00:56:49.072
Yeah, I'm doing fine. Yeah.

00:56:49.156 --> 00:56:51.199
Yeah, yeah, she is. Just a second.
It's for you.

00:56:51.325 --> 00:56:52.700
Oh, great.

00:56:53.619 --> 00:56:55.036
Hi, Glenda.

00:56:56.330 --> 00:56:59.999
- Why is my mom calling you?
- I just showed him.

00:57:01.627 --> 00:57:05.505
Yeah. Well, he thinks our children
will be very attractive.

00:57:09.009 --> 00:57:10.343
Oh, no.

00:57:11.553 --> 00:57:14.680
All right, you go back to cooking.
Call me later.

00:57:14.807 --> 00:57:18.518
Tomorrow. Yeah, great.
Okay, Glenda. Love you, too. Bye.

00:57:20.020 --> 00:57:21.896
- Thanks, honey.
- Yeah.

00:57:23.524 --> 00:57:26.067
So, you and my mom, you talk, huh?

00:57:27.402 --> 00:57:31.322
Yeah, I called her to get some
baby pictures of you for our book.

00:57:31.990 --> 00:57:36.160
Hey, you never told me
that you wore diapers till you were five.

00:57:38.330 --> 00:57:41.040
You know what, honey,
I gotta go to the...

00:57:42.042 --> 00:57:44.293
Oh, no. Come on!

00:57:44.378 --> 00:57:47.547
You think maybe he thinks
the felt is grass?

00:58:15.868 --> 00:58:17.368
Oh, man!

00:58:28.755 --> 00:58:32.300
Oh, no, no, no! Man, come on!

00:58:39.391 --> 00:58:41.267
- Hey, Benny bear?
- Hey.

00:58:41.393 --> 00:58:43.561
- Do you have plans tonight?
- Tonight?

00:58:43.645 --> 00:58:45.980
I have another surprise for you.

00:58:47.608 --> 00:58:50.484
You know what?
Not a good night for me.

00:58:50.611 --> 00:58:53.404
- I gotta work, of all things.
- Oh, no.

00:58:53.488 --> 00:58:55.698
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I got a Knicks game on.

00:58:55.782 --> 00:58:57.450
I had a broccoli and asparagus
casserole

00:58:57.534 --> 00:58:59.952
planned for you and me,
right there, in front of the TV,

00:59:00.037 --> 00:59:02.705
and we're not gonna be able to do that
either 'cause I gotta go into work.

00:59:02.789 --> 00:59:06.042
That's too bad
'cause I had tickets for tonight.

00:59:06.668 --> 00:59:09.128
- Tickets?
- Tickets, great tickets.

00:59:09.213 --> 00:59:14.467
Front-row seats, right in the action.
I mean, you can smell sweat.

00:59:16.678 --> 00:59:18.221
I guess I...

00:59:20.474 --> 00:59:22.558
I don't really have to.

00:59:22.643 --> 00:59:25.811
Why don't I call Tony,
and he can come fill in for me, right?

00:59:25.896 --> 00:59:28.814
- Great.
- Oh, yeah! Thank you.

00:59:29.650 --> 00:59:32.818
- Honey, you're more than welcome.
- Yes!

00:59:34.696 --> 00:59:37.073
Oh, look what time it is, huh?

00:59:38.700 --> 00:59:43.162
This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience,
and I'm gonna share it with you.

00:59:48.585 --> 00:59:51.879
Reaches up, she brings it down.

00:59:52.005 --> 00:59:55.716
It's the most powerful thing
I've ever seen.

00:59:58.053 --> 01:00:00.972
And after all this,
he still didn't leave you?

01:00:01.056 --> 01:00:03.432
I'm telling you,
this calls for drastic measures.

01:00:03.517 --> 01:00:05.601
Come on, guys. Concentrate.

01:00:06.436 --> 01:00:11.274
- Are you being clingy?
- Clingy, needy, whiny.

01:00:11.358 --> 01:00:12.650
Baby talk?

01:00:12.734 --> 01:00:15.736
Occasionally.
I mean, I could kick that up a notch.

01:00:15.821 --> 01:00:18.030
I used to obsess
over Mike's old girlfriends.

01:00:18.115 --> 01:00:20.950
Or better yet,
talk about all your old boyfriends.

01:00:21.034 --> 01:00:23.911
Good. It's good, it's good,
but it's not gonna crack this guy.

01:00:23.996 --> 01:00:25.663
I mean, this is DEFCON 5,

01:00:25.747 --> 01:00:28.749
and I have to do something
truly appalling.

01:00:28.834 --> 01:00:30.501
It's not funny!

01:00:32.004 --> 01:00:35.131
Look, I have to think of something
before tomorrow.

01:00:35.215 --> 01:00:37.133
Wait, why not tonight?

01:00:37.217 --> 01:00:40.845
- Poker night. Boys' night out.
- Mike used to have a boys' night.

01:00:40.929 --> 01:00:42.888
Boys' night?
You're giving him a boys' night?

01:00:42.973 --> 01:00:47.435
- They do it every week.
- Before he met you.

01:00:48.895 --> 01:00:53.024
- What are you suggesting?
- I think you know what I'm suggesting.

01:00:54.735 --> 01:00:56.861
- Feel lucky, boys?
- Yeah.

01:00:56.945 --> 01:00:59.780
- You know, Ben.
- That's 2 bucks.

01:00:59.865 --> 01:01:01.574
I'm feeling luckier than you

01:01:01.658 --> 01:01:05.036
'cause I do not have to sit through
a Celine Dion concert.

01:01:05.120 --> 01:01:07.455
That is what true love is all about,
my friend.

01:01:07.539 --> 01:01:08.831
I fold.

01:01:08.915 --> 01:01:11.334
I see your 2, raise you 50.
She's in love with you?

01:01:11.418 --> 01:01:13.377
Are you kidding me?
She's planning the wedding.

01:01:13.462 --> 01:01:16.547
- Call.
- All right, guys, read them and weep.

01:01:16.631 --> 01:01:18.799
Got ladies over fours. Huh?

01:01:18.884 --> 01:01:21.927
- Damn!
- I have a three and an ace.

01:01:22.012 --> 01:01:24.722
It does not get any better than this.

01:01:24.806 --> 01:01:27.475
- Look at that.
- Bennykins, I'm home.

01:01:30.687 --> 01:01:32.855
- Hi, honey.
- Hey, Andie.

01:01:36.526 --> 01:01:38.944
- She has a key?
- Is that legal?

01:01:40.447 --> 01:01:43.115
I wasn't expecting you.

01:01:43.200 --> 01:01:45.076
How'd you get a key?

01:01:46.328 --> 01:01:49.914
Oh, honey, Francesco, your super,
he made me a copy.

01:01:50.916 --> 01:01:53.167
Francesco, huh?

01:01:53.251 --> 01:01:55.878
- All right.
- You're not mad, are you, Benky-wenky?

01:01:55.962 --> 01:01:57.338
- No, I'm not mad.
- You're not mad?

01:01:57.422 --> 01:01:58.631
No, no, no, no. I'm not mad.

01:01:58.715 --> 01:02:00.800
- Oh, good.
- You know the guys? Everybody.

01:02:00.884 --> 01:02:03.302
- Tony, Thayer, Francis.
- Oh, yes.

01:02:03.387 --> 01:02:06.597
- Watch out! Hey, hey, hey!
- No, no, no, no!

01:02:07.265 --> 01:02:09.100
Tony. Hi, Tony.

01:02:09.184 --> 01:02:10.559
- Ronald.
- Hello.

01:02:10.644 --> 01:02:12.061
- Joe.
- Joe.

01:02:12.145 --> 01:02:13.312
- Hey.
- Andie...

01:02:13.397 --> 01:02:15.147
I didn't mean to interrupt
your little game.

01:02:15.232 --> 01:02:18.067
- We're all...
- I brought some yummy snacks.

01:02:18.151 --> 01:02:22.154
- Snacks?
- The game is hold 'em.

01:02:22.239 --> 01:02:24.865
Three up for company,
ante a dollar, please.

01:02:24.950 --> 01:02:30.788
- Tony! Yucky, yucky pizza. Yucky pizza.
- Oh, no!

01:02:30.872 --> 01:02:33.290
Yummy, yummy cucumber sandwich.

01:02:35.168 --> 01:02:37.461
- First card up is a nine.
- Thanks.

01:02:39.631 --> 01:02:41.590
- I'll take one.
- Yeah. Sure, yeah.

01:02:41.675 --> 01:02:43.259
Good boys. Good.

01:02:43.343 --> 01:02:45.845
Here we go. Get rid of those over there.
Thank you very much.

01:02:45.929 --> 01:02:48.222
- Three up. Three up.
- I went a buck. You follow?

01:02:48.306 --> 01:02:49.723
- Buck around the horn.
- See it.

01:02:49.808 --> 01:02:52.309
Buck around the horn.
Buck around the horn.

01:03:11.079 --> 01:03:13.038
Thanks, Benny.

01:03:13.123 --> 01:03:14.540
Thayer!

01:03:14.624 --> 01:03:16.792
- That means you, too, Thayer.
- Oh, yeah.

01:03:16.877 --> 01:03:19.587
All right, everyone in for a buck.
Next card five.

01:03:19.671 --> 01:03:22.715
Nines and fives. Nines and fives.
That's back to you, Tito.

01:03:22.799 --> 01:03:25.926
Nine and a seven! Go for the straight!

01:03:29.139 --> 01:03:31.056
Round two.
Tone the Bone, you're up, man.

01:03:31.141 --> 01:03:32.808
She told you my hand.

01:03:32.893 --> 01:03:34.602
- Peek-a-boo!
- Hi.

01:03:35.729 --> 01:03:37.188
Hey.

01:03:37.272 --> 01:03:39.440
Guys, you wanna play cards here?
What's going on?

01:03:39.524 --> 01:03:41.484
What game are we playing?

01:03:41.568 --> 01:03:42.985
We're playing hold 'em.

01:03:43.069 --> 01:03:45.446
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- All right.

01:03:45.530 --> 01:03:48.282
All right. I'm already maxed out.
We got a nine up. Nine up, guys.

01:03:48.366 --> 01:03:50.034
- Nine up...
- Blow.

01:03:52.162 --> 01:03:54.997
Blow. Nobody likes a Mr. Sniffles.

01:03:55.832 --> 01:03:58.751
- I hate Mr. Sniffles.
- Come on, stuffy head.

01:04:04.132 --> 01:04:06.425
Good. We're good.

01:04:06.510 --> 01:04:08.469
White. Healthy boy.

01:04:08.553 --> 01:04:10.262
- Good.
- Healthy.

01:04:13.725 --> 01:04:16.060
- Oh, no.
- Are we playing?

01:04:16.144 --> 01:04:17.686
Oh, no.

01:04:18.855 --> 01:04:20.606
Our love fern!

01:04:23.026 --> 01:04:24.401
It's dead!

01:04:27.197 --> 01:04:31.033
- No, honey. It's just sleeping.
- You let it die!

01:04:33.578 --> 01:04:35.454
You gonna let us die?

01:04:38.458 --> 01:04:40.709
You should think about that.

01:04:42.045 --> 01:04:44.296
What the hell's a love fern?

01:04:46.883 --> 01:04:50.427
All right, guys.
Let's try to get through one hand.

01:04:53.765 --> 01:04:55.474
Is she on something?

01:04:56.476 --> 01:04:58.143
God, I hope so.

01:05:03.316 --> 01:05:04.441
Hi.

01:05:08.488 --> 01:05:11.240
Are you saying
I'm some kind of mental person?

01:05:11.324 --> 01:05:13.242
- Hey, hey.
- No, no, he wasn't...

01:05:13.326 --> 01:05:14.827
- Oh, Tony!
- What?

01:05:14.953 --> 01:05:16.328
He was talking about...

01:05:16.454 --> 01:05:17.663
- That's it!
- Come on.

01:05:17.747 --> 01:05:19.498
- That is it!
- Andie.

01:05:21.084 --> 01:05:23.669
I'm taking this love fern with me.

01:05:34.180 --> 01:05:35.681
Hang on.

01:05:35.807 --> 01:05:36.932
Hey.

01:05:37.017 --> 01:05:39.602
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

01:05:39.686 --> 01:05:41.437
What just happened in there?

01:05:41.521 --> 01:05:43.522
- I'm gonna go listen.
- Yeah.

01:05:43.607 --> 01:05:44.857
Quietly.

01:05:45.817 --> 01:05:47.693
Look, this is getting really creepy,
all right?

01:05:47.819 --> 01:05:50.529
You're acting completely insane.
You know that?

01:05:50.655 --> 01:05:54.116
- So I am insane?
- No, you're acting insane.

01:05:54.200 --> 01:05:56.035
Shut up, Krull.

01:05:57.495 --> 01:05:59.038
- He's an innocent animal!
- Yeah, yeah.

01:05:59.164 --> 01:06:00.706
And he'll live, okay? I'm talking to you.

01:06:00.832 --> 01:06:03.125
I don't know if I can be with somebody
who doesn't like animals

01:06:03.209 --> 01:06:05.210
and thinks I'm a mental person.

01:06:05.337 --> 01:06:07.046
That's what I'm talking about.

01:06:07.130 --> 01:06:12.051
Where is the sexy, cool, fun, smart,
beautiful Andie that I knew?

01:06:12.177 --> 01:06:15.137
The one who wanted to be
a serious journalist, huh?

01:06:15.221 --> 01:06:16.889
You're up, you're down,
you're here, you're there.

01:06:17.015 --> 01:06:19.975
You're like
a freaking one-woman circus, Andie.

01:06:20.060 --> 01:06:22.728
- So I guess this means we're over.
- Yeah, I guess so.

01:06:22.854 --> 01:06:24.563
- Fine.
- Fine!

01:06:26.358 --> 01:06:28.400
Oh, finally.

01:06:42.666 --> 01:06:44.667
- It's over, men.
- Oh, man, that's...

01:06:44.751 --> 01:06:48.170
- No, no, no.
- It is, man. It's over.

01:06:48.254 --> 01:06:50.422
- Four more days.
- Guys, you were here.

01:06:50.548 --> 01:06:52.675
Did you just witness the
one-woman homage to The Exorcist?

01:06:52.759 --> 01:06:55.427
- You saw it! Huh?
- Yeah, I did. I thought it was sexy.

01:06:55.553 --> 01:06:57.763
- Yeah.
- It was not sexy.

01:06:57.889 --> 01:07:00.432
- He's right.
- Forget it. He's right.

01:07:01.101 --> 01:07:02.851
So do you think Spears and Green

01:07:02.936 --> 01:07:04.687
are gonna be comfortable
in their new office?

01:07:04.771 --> 01:07:06.188
- Oh, absolutely.
- No, no. Guys, stop.

01:07:06.272 --> 01:07:08.190
Maybe he's excited
that he's gonna be selling Nerf footballs

01:07:08.274 --> 01:07:09.525
- for the rest of his life.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

01:07:09.609 --> 01:07:10.859
He may get, like,
a really good douche campaign.

01:07:10.944 --> 01:07:13.278
- Hey, it's done. All right? What? What?
- Couples therapy.

01:07:13.405 --> 01:07:14.530
- Of course!
- What?

01:07:14.614 --> 01:07:17.032
Every time my wife wants to divorce me,
I suggest couples therapy.

01:07:17.117 --> 01:07:19.535
- It'll buy you at least four days.
- It's true. She hates him.

01:07:19.619 --> 01:07:21.704
- Couples therapy. Couples therapy.
- Yeah, couples therapy.

01:07:21.788 --> 01:07:23.622
- Couples therapy!
- Couples therapy.

01:07:23.707 --> 01:07:24.873
- Couples therapy.
- Come on!

01:07:24.958 --> 01:07:27.042
- Couples therapy! Couples therapy!
- Couples therapy!

01:07:27.127 --> 01:07:29.128
Therapy! Couples therapy!

01:07:41.766 --> 01:07:43.892
Andie. Hold it, hold it, hold it.

01:07:43.977 --> 01:07:47.229
Listen, can you forgive me, sugar puss?
Look, I don't know what I was thinking.

01:07:47.313 --> 01:07:48.897
All right? I'm sorry.

01:07:48.982 --> 01:07:52.776
I am way out of line, Andie.
Can you give me another chance?

01:07:54.821 --> 01:07:56.780
Haven't you had enough?

01:07:57.449 --> 01:08:00.325
- Hey, look, I'm willing to do anything.
- Get up.

01:08:00.452 --> 01:08:02.953
- I'll do anything, Andie.
- Get up.

01:08:03.830 --> 01:08:05.664
Look, what do you think about...

01:08:05.790 --> 01:08:09.835
What do you think about
couples therapy?

01:08:11.588 --> 01:08:13.422
- Couples therapy?
- Couples therapy.

01:08:13.506 --> 01:08:15.507
Look, Thayer up there,
he's got this doctor.

01:08:15.633 --> 01:08:17.009
He says he's a hell of a guy.

01:08:17.093 --> 01:08:19.678
No, I know a therapist
who will work wonders

01:08:19.804 --> 01:08:22.347
- with somebody like you, Benjamin.
- Yes. That's what I need.

01:08:22.432 --> 01:08:24.683
I will call and schedule
an emergency session.

01:08:24.809 --> 01:08:27.853
- Baby, whatever it takes.
- A kiss.

01:08:27.979 --> 01:08:29.855
Thank you, sweetheart.

01:08:31.357 --> 01:08:33.358
Thank you for understanding.

01:08:33.443 --> 01:08:37.529
I love you, Benky,
but I don't have to like you right now.

01:08:42.869 --> 01:08:44.453
Thank you, Andie.

01:08:50.210 --> 01:08:53.378
Damn it! Shit!

01:08:55.173 --> 01:08:59.176
If you're really gonna commit to this,
you're gonna have to open up.

01:08:59.260 --> 01:09:01.345
- Yeah.
- And dig deep.

01:09:01.429 --> 01:09:03.055
- Okay.
- Bare that beautiful soul.

01:09:03.139 --> 01:09:04.973
Let me see your teeth.

01:09:06.643 --> 01:09:09.061
Andie Anderson. Benjamin Barry.

01:09:09.896 --> 01:09:12.731
Please come in. Hi. Welcome.

01:09:18.780 --> 01:09:23.492
Before we get started, how are you
planning on paying for the session?

01:09:23.576 --> 01:09:25.244
- Sweetie?
- How much is it?

01:09:25.328 --> 01:09:27.412
- $300.
- $300?

01:09:30.500 --> 01:09:31.792
Whatever it takes. Yeah.

01:09:31.876 --> 01:09:35.754
So, tell me, how long have you guys
been seeing each other?

01:09:35.839 --> 01:09:39.383
- Seven days.
- Seven days. Interesting.

01:09:39.467 --> 01:09:42.094
Is that too soon
to be seeing a therapist?

01:09:42.178 --> 01:09:45.681
Well, Ben, seven days
isn't like a lifetime or anything.

01:09:45.765 --> 01:09:47.850
- It's like a week.
- It...

01:09:48.768 --> 01:09:50.936
Did you hear that tone?

01:09:51.020 --> 01:09:54.815
How can we not have a gulf between us
with a tone like that?

01:09:54.899 --> 01:09:57.526
How are things between you sexually?

01:10:01.698 --> 01:10:05.200
- We haven't had sex.
- Oh, no, Ben has a little-bitty problem.

01:10:05.285 --> 01:10:07.286
- I don't have a problem.
- Yes, you do.

01:10:07.370 --> 01:10:09.955
- No, I do not have a problem.
- Yeah. It's a big problem.

01:10:10.039 --> 01:10:11.415
- I do not have a problem.
- You have a problem.

01:10:11.499 --> 01:10:13.208
Look, look, wait a minute. The one night

01:10:13.293 --> 01:10:16.795
that we even thought about getting close
to having sex,

01:10:16.880 --> 01:10:19.673
all right, she up and decides
she's gonna nickname my...

01:10:19.757 --> 01:10:23.135
- Penis.
- Yeah. Princess Sophia.

01:10:23.219 --> 01:10:26.638
You want to talk about
shooting a man's horse? Come on.

01:10:26.723 --> 01:10:30.726
- I thought it was a beautiful name.
- I see, Benjamin.

01:10:30.810 --> 01:10:34.897
And when was it that you first realized
that you were attracted to other men?

01:10:34.981 --> 01:10:37.149
- Oh, that's serious.
- What?

01:10:38.943 --> 01:10:41.570
- Benjamin, this is a safe space.
- Look, it's just simple.

01:10:41.654 --> 01:10:44.865
I like women, okay?
It just happened that way.

01:10:44.949 --> 01:10:47.451
Methinks thou doth protesteth too much.

01:10:47.535 --> 01:10:49.328
You see? Stop it.
This is the shit I'm talking about.

01:10:49.412 --> 01:10:50.871
- What the hell was that?
- What did I do?

01:10:50.955 --> 01:10:53.665
I mean, this is what she does. Stop that!

01:10:53.750 --> 01:10:58.795
You know, I'm hearing a lot
of latent anger here, Benjamin.

01:10:58.880 --> 01:11:01.924
- Rage-aholic.
- I'm not a rage-aholic.

01:11:02.008 --> 01:11:03.175
- I called that one.
- Stop!

01:11:03.259 --> 01:11:05.928
You know what?
Take a deep breath for me, Ben.

01:11:06.012 --> 01:11:08.597
Okay, let it go. Just let it go.

01:11:09.724 --> 01:11:11.683
- Yeah.
- I feel better.

01:11:11.768 --> 01:11:12.976
Okay.

01:11:13.061 --> 01:11:17.814
Come here. I've seen this before,
and I've seen it many times.

01:11:17.899 --> 01:11:19.900
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

01:11:19.984 --> 01:11:23.278
- Would you two like to be left alone?
- No.

01:11:23.363 --> 01:11:25.238
Maybe you should get a room.

01:11:25.323 --> 01:11:28.742
- You are hitting on our shrink.
- No, I'm not.

01:11:28.826 --> 01:11:31.870
Yes, you are,
and you are a pathological flirt!

01:11:31.955 --> 01:11:35.791
Jesus! Five seconds ago I'm gay.
Now I'm a pathological flirt.

01:11:35.875 --> 01:11:39.211
- I sweat when I get nervous.
- Which one is it, Andie?

01:11:39.295 --> 01:11:41.296
Besides, why would I need
to hit on another woman?

01:11:41.381 --> 01:11:42.923
You've got
more than enough personalities

01:11:43.007 --> 01:11:45.008
to keep me completely occupied.

01:11:45.802 --> 01:11:50.097
- That was hurtful.
- Okay. Ben, are you ashamed of Andie?

01:11:50.807 --> 01:11:52.182
- Of course he is!
- I'm not ashamed.

01:11:52.266 --> 01:11:53.976
- Of course he is. You are.
- I'm not ashamed.

01:11:54.060 --> 01:11:56.728
- How do you think that makes me feel?
- I'm not ashamed of you.

01:11:57.271 --> 01:12:01.858
It's like, when I talked to his mother,
he freaked out.

01:12:01.943 --> 01:12:04.611
No. You did that behind my back.
She did it behind my back.

01:12:04.696 --> 01:12:08.198
- I just wanted to say hi.
- Andie, you wanna talk to my mother?

01:12:08.282 --> 01:12:10.409
You wanna talk to my mother?
Talk to my mother.

01:12:10.493 --> 01:12:13.954
Hey, you wanna talk to the whole family,
you can talk to the whole family.

01:12:14.038 --> 01:12:16.873
Hell, we can go to Staten Island,
spend the weekend with them, Andie.

01:12:16.958 --> 01:12:19.584
Now that is a positive idea, Ben.

01:12:19.669 --> 01:12:22.671
- It is?
- How about it, Andie?

01:12:22.755 --> 01:12:25.507
- What?
- Would you like to go to Staten Island?

01:12:47.947 --> 01:12:50.032
Uncle Ben! Hi!

01:12:53.745 --> 01:12:56.204
- Thanks.
- Yes, ma'am.

01:12:56.748 --> 01:13:00.375
- Hey, Mom, Pop, we're here.
- Yeah, bullshit!

01:13:00.460 --> 01:13:02.044
Who's that handsome guy?

01:13:02.128 --> 01:13:04.296
That's my dad
when he was an ensign in the Navy.

01:13:04.422 --> 01:13:05.964
He got stationed here
about 10 years ago.

01:13:06.090 --> 01:13:07.883
Bullshit!

01:13:07.967 --> 01:13:10.635
- Hey, darling, I'm glad to see you.
- Hey, sweetie, how you doing?

01:13:10.762 --> 01:13:13.055
- Good. Perfect timing.
- You know who this is?

01:13:13.139 --> 01:13:15.724
I do, and I'll let you check the baby,
see if he needs changing.

01:13:15.808 --> 01:13:19.311
Hi, Andie. I'm so happy
to have you here in the flesh.

01:13:19.395 --> 01:13:21.313
You're just as pretty
as you sound on the telephone.

01:13:21.397 --> 01:13:24.149
- Glenda!
- I'm coming! Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

01:13:24.233 --> 01:13:26.651
- Excuse me. Show her upstairs, okay?
- Oh, yeah.

01:13:26.778 --> 01:13:30.155
- And this is Joey Jr.
- Bullshit!

01:13:30.281 --> 01:13:31.907
And the whole family
suffers from Tourette's.

01:13:31.991 --> 01:13:33.075
I hope that's not a problem.

01:13:33.159 --> 01:13:34.659
- And Joey, here...
- You're so handsome!

01:13:34.744 --> 01:13:36.078
...suffers from being a stinky rose.

01:13:36.162 --> 01:13:38.914
We're gonna get you cleaned up.
So go out back. Have a good time.

01:13:38.998 --> 01:13:40.332
Okay.

01:13:42.752 --> 01:13:44.503
- Got you!
- Okay!

01:13:46.089 --> 01:13:48.298
- You're it!
- He got you.

01:13:49.842 --> 01:13:51.927
- Uncle Arnold says he's got three kings.
- Yeah, right.

01:13:52.011 --> 01:13:55.180
Okay, Uncle Arnold, now, dare I say it
or not? I'm gonna just say it.

01:13:55.264 --> 01:13:57.599
Okay, I'm gonna say it. Bullshit!

01:13:59.769 --> 01:14:01.103
- Hi.
- Honey.

01:14:01.187 --> 01:14:02.938
- Oh, wow.
- Andie!

01:14:03.022 --> 01:14:05.440
- Well, well, well.
- Come on out here, Andie.

01:14:05.525 --> 01:14:06.775
- Meet everybody.
- Okay.

01:14:06.859 --> 01:14:10.278
- I want you to meet Ben's father.
- Well, hello!

01:14:10.363 --> 01:14:12.614
- Jack, this is Andie, Jack.
- Welcome to our humble abode.

01:14:12.698 --> 01:14:14.950
- This is our Uncle Arnold.
- Hi, Uncle Arnold.

01:14:15.034 --> 01:14:16.785
- This is Andie.
- You gotta watch him.

01:14:16.869 --> 01:14:19.871
He farts like a howitzer, but he's family,
so what are you gonna do?

01:14:19.956 --> 01:14:21.456
Intestinal complications.

01:14:21.541 --> 01:14:23.125
- Yeah, right, Arnold.
- Prunes!

01:14:23.209 --> 01:14:24.376
Did you meet Joey?

01:14:24.502 --> 01:14:25.627
- A female Andie.
- I-E.

01:14:25.711 --> 01:14:26.795
- Nice to meet you.
- Welcome.

01:14:26.879 --> 01:14:29.381
Okay. Here we go now.
The game is Bullshit,

01:14:29.465 --> 01:14:31.800
and you are just in time
for the lightning round, my dear.

01:14:31.884 --> 01:14:33.301
I don't really know how to play.

01:14:33.386 --> 01:14:35.554
Well, we're gonna teach you.
It's very simple.

01:14:35.680 --> 01:14:38.557
The trick is to get rid of all the cards
in your hand, all right?

01:14:38.641 --> 01:14:41.143
So I'm gonna look at my hand
I'm gonna see what I've got, here.

01:14:41.227 --> 01:14:43.061
And well, you know,
I've got two aces here.

01:14:43.146 --> 01:14:45.981
Well, two aces.
What do you say to that?

01:14:49.193 --> 01:14:51.069
What are you gonna say?

01:14:52.155 --> 01:14:54.322
- I say bullshit.
- What did she say? I didn't quite hear.

01:14:54.407 --> 01:14:55.907
Did you guys?
I didn't hear what she said.

01:14:56.033 --> 01:14:58.243
- I said bullshit!
- All right!

01:14:58.369 --> 01:15:00.829
- She knows how to play the game!
- Yes, sir!

01:15:00.913 --> 01:15:03.498
- Is that big daddy?
- Come to Papa.

01:15:03.583 --> 01:15:06.334
Get on over there, big man.
Slick as a whistle.

01:15:06.419 --> 01:15:08.086
- How you doing, Unc?
- Not bad.

01:15:08.212 --> 01:15:09.838
- Pop.
- Hey, how you doing, buddy?

01:15:09.922 --> 01:15:12.007
- Got a game of Bullshit going here?
- You want to join us?

01:15:12.091 --> 01:15:15.093
- Good luck.
- The expert here.

01:15:15.178 --> 01:15:17.929
Okay, now, we went through the deck.
We're gonna start at the beginning now.

01:15:18.014 --> 01:15:21.016
So we go to twos. Let's see.
I got myself one deuce here.

01:15:21.100 --> 01:15:22.684
Bullshit.

01:15:23.769 --> 01:15:26.521
- Bullshit, Pop.
- He's a human lie detector, isn't he?

01:15:26.606 --> 01:15:28.857
Try this, son. Two threes.

01:15:30.443 --> 01:15:32.861
- One four.
- Three fives.

01:15:33.362 --> 01:15:34.863
Bullshit.

01:15:37.783 --> 01:15:39.951
You see whose name's
on the top of the board over there?

01:15:40.036 --> 01:15:42.454
Yes. It says Ben, with a star next to it.

01:15:42.538 --> 01:15:46.291
- You still wanna bullshit me?
- God, you must be so proud.

01:15:46.417 --> 01:15:48.210
I'm doing my best. What do we got?

01:15:48.294 --> 01:15:52.797
- Did I... No, I told the truth.
- Three fives.

01:15:52.882 --> 01:15:56.134
- All right, all right.
- He's good. He's the champ.

01:15:57.553 --> 01:15:59.930
- What am I?
- Sixes to you.

01:16:00.723 --> 01:16:02.891
- One six.
- One six. All right.

01:16:02.975 --> 01:16:04.559
Look what I got here.
I got myself two sevens.

01:16:04.644 --> 01:16:07.395
You see, the key to this game
is being able to read people.

01:16:07.480 --> 01:16:09.481
- Two eights.
- Bullshit.

01:16:10.233 --> 01:16:12.609
Bullshit, Mama.

01:16:14.445 --> 01:16:16.154
I'm gonna have to hurt you.

01:16:16.280 --> 01:16:19.407
You see, Mom's never been
that great at it, but why?

01:16:19.492 --> 01:16:21.826
- Just 'cause I'm so pure of heart.
- So pure of heart.

01:16:21.953 --> 01:16:23.912
Bullshit.

01:16:24.163 --> 01:16:28.124
Hello? Hello, where is everybody? Hey!

01:16:30.962 --> 01:16:32.754
This is Andie.
Andie, this is my sister, Dora.

01:16:32.838 --> 01:16:34.589
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

01:16:34.674 --> 01:16:36.758
Andie is kicking Ben's ass in Bullshit.

01:16:36.842 --> 01:16:38.677
- I like this girl.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:16:38.803 --> 01:16:42.013
- That's right.
- Ben's starting a little card collection.

01:16:42.098 --> 01:16:46.434
All right. Let me get back on track here.
Gentle Ben starts with three ladies.

01:16:46.519 --> 01:16:49.521
That's to you.
What do you got to say about that?

01:16:56.862 --> 01:16:58.321
Bullshit.

01:17:00.032 --> 01:17:02.200
You heard me. I said bullshit.

01:17:07.832 --> 01:17:09.874
What is that, seven in a row, Sparky?

01:17:10.001 --> 01:17:12.877
I think somebody's met his match.

01:17:13.004 --> 01:17:18.133
Well, it's all about reading people.

01:17:19.176 --> 01:17:21.636
- Loser.
- Okay. Two kings.

01:17:27.476 --> 01:17:28.810
Bullshit?

01:17:31.480 --> 01:17:33.898
Bullshit!

01:17:33.983 --> 01:17:37.319
What's all that? Yeah, you!

01:17:37.403 --> 01:17:41.489
- I'm your daddy, now.
- You have met your match!

01:17:41.574 --> 01:17:44.993
And you, Mom, Miss Pure of Heart.
Pop, we'll talk later.

01:17:45.077 --> 01:17:49.497
You're hiding behind a badge. Cheated.
Betrayed by my own parents.

01:17:49.582 --> 01:17:54.002
The only honest man in this place
is Uncle Arnold, who's asleep.

01:17:54.086 --> 01:17:55.837
- But I won!
- I'm gonna go inside

01:17:55.921 --> 01:17:58.590
and play with the kids.
Maybe they won't lie, cheat and steal.

01:17:58.716 --> 01:18:00.258
Okay, keep my name
at the top of the board.

01:18:00.384 --> 01:18:03.762
Now, Andie, I hope you know
that we expect you to come back here

01:18:03.888 --> 01:18:07.349
because you have held Ben
to his lowest Bullshit score

01:18:07.433 --> 01:18:09.434
- since his tonsillectomy...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:18:09.518 --> 01:18:13.355
- ... and we are thrilled!
- Lowest!

01:18:13.439 --> 01:18:16.024
Why, were all his other girlfriends
Bullshit losers?

01:18:16.108 --> 01:18:18.526
- What other girlfriends?
- Ma, he's picky.

01:18:18.611 --> 01:18:21.780
You are the first girl
he's ever brought home.

01:18:22.698 --> 01:18:24.616
Don't you break his heart, now.

01:18:24.742 --> 01:18:27.911
And that dress! Andie!
Now, does that come in my size?

01:18:51.811 --> 01:18:53.645
- My turn?
- Yes, ma'am.

01:18:57.483 --> 01:19:01.653
- It's heavy.
- Turn it on. Good.

01:19:01.779 --> 01:19:04.239
- Keep the clutch in.
- That's the clutch?

01:19:04.323 --> 01:19:06.658
Brake here on your right.
Your gears are on the left.

01:19:06.784 --> 01:19:08.493
- One down.
- Okay.

01:19:08.619 --> 01:19:11.496
Now, when you take off, you're gonna
give a little bit on the clutch,

01:19:11.622 --> 01:19:15.250
and then you're gonna go a little
bit here. A little give, a little go.

01:19:15.334 --> 01:19:18.002
- How's it go?
- A little give and a little go?

01:19:18.129 --> 01:19:19.462
Yeah.

01:19:26.011 --> 01:19:28.888
Clutch! Clutch and a little brake.
There we are.

01:19:32.017 --> 01:19:34.144
- You got it?
- I got it. I got it.

01:19:34.228 --> 01:19:38.481
You got it. Voilà, voilà, voilà!

01:19:39.984 --> 01:19:42.861
I mean, there's a lot of cool things
about a bike, you know.

01:19:42.987 --> 01:19:45.989
Use less gas, no traffic jam,

01:19:46.073 --> 01:19:47.991
you can park
wherever the hell you want.

01:19:48.075 --> 01:19:50.326
- At the end of the day...
- Thank you.

01:19:50.411 --> 01:19:52.203
...chicks dig them.

01:19:58.502 --> 01:20:01.838
You look so cute.
Let me ask you a question.

01:20:01.922 --> 01:20:05.383
- Chicks dig this?
- Yes, chicks dig this.

01:20:14.226 --> 01:20:17.353
- I turned!
- Who's driving like a pro?

01:20:20.107 --> 01:20:21.900
Yeah, look at you!

01:20:23.402 --> 01:20:24.903
Look at this look.

01:20:25.029 --> 01:20:28.740
Right. Now, this shower,
it's a little bit tricky.

01:20:28.866 --> 01:20:30.742
The hot is actually cold,
the cold is actually hot.

01:20:30.868 --> 01:20:33.077
You gotta crank it all the way up at first,

01:20:33.204 --> 01:20:36.998
and if somebody
flushes the toilet in Bayonne,

01:20:37.082 --> 01:20:39.709
you are gonna get scalded.

01:20:39.793 --> 01:20:41.794
Towels are right there.

01:20:47.092 --> 01:20:49.177
Everything all right? Is this okay?

01:20:49.261 --> 01:20:51.638
Oh, no. It's more than okay.

01:20:54.225 --> 01:20:57.936
I love everything about this house.
The noise, the smells.

01:20:58.270 --> 01:21:01.773
Oh. Well, the smells,
that's Uncle Arnold. I mean...

01:21:15.120 --> 01:21:16.621
What's wrong?

01:21:17.957 --> 01:21:20.959
It's just that
when your mama hugged me today,

01:21:22.753 --> 01:21:24.254
she really hugged me

01:21:27.299 --> 01:21:29.467
for winning a game of Bullshit.

01:21:30.844 --> 01:21:33.179
Sweetie, that's a good thing.

01:21:33.806 --> 01:21:35.014
Smile.

01:21:36.350 --> 01:21:38.768
Smile. Now, come on, give me a smile.

01:21:39.311 --> 01:21:42.438
Okay, that's good. That's it.
You're scaring me.

01:23:59.493 --> 01:24:02.412
- This is home, huh?
- This is home.

01:24:12.631 --> 01:24:15.550
Hey, listen, tomorrow night
my boss is throwing a party

01:24:15.634 --> 01:24:18.261
for that diamond account
I was telling you about.

01:24:18.345 --> 01:24:20.638
I want you to come with me.

01:24:21.140 --> 01:24:23.015
- Okay.
- Okay?

01:24:23.600 --> 01:24:24.851
Yeah.

01:24:27.813 --> 01:24:29.480
As my girlfriend.

01:24:33.986 --> 01:24:38.531
- Are you calling me your girlfriend?
- Yeah. I think I am.

01:24:44.872 --> 01:24:48.666
Won't tomorrow be the tenth day
we've been seeing each other?

01:24:50.335 --> 01:24:52.336
Maybe after that we'll know.

01:24:55.549 --> 01:24:58.718
Listen, don't make any plans
for day 13, okay?

01:24:59.553 --> 01:25:03.222
'Cause we have a game to go to.

01:25:05.184 --> 01:25:07.101
They're not as good
as seats as you got us,

01:25:07.186 --> 01:25:09.103
but this is game seven.

01:25:09.188 --> 01:25:10.354
Yes?

01:25:11.565 --> 01:25:13.232
Oh, come here.

01:25:36.757 --> 01:25:38.299
- Okay.
- Yes?

01:25:38.383 --> 01:25:39.759
Lana,

01:25:40.719 --> 01:25:42.178
I can't write this article.

01:25:43.263 --> 01:25:47.058
- Is your computer broken?
- I've gotten to know this guy.

01:25:47.184 --> 01:25:53.064
Andie, do you see any patches
or insignia anywhere on my clothing?

01:25:54.608 --> 01:25:55.733
No.

01:25:55.859 --> 01:25:58.319
It's because I'm not
your Girl Scout leader, I'm your boss.

01:25:58.403 --> 01:26:00.530
You'll write the article.

01:26:00.614 --> 01:26:04.951
This cover is at the printer as we speak,
with a special section on diamonds,

01:26:05.077 --> 01:26:09.288
which is going to take care of
my ad quota for the entire year.

01:26:09.414 --> 01:26:11.666
I want copy on my desk in 48 hours.

01:26:11.750 --> 01:26:15.419
- Okay, but Lana...
- No "but Lana," you'll do it.

01:26:16.797 --> 01:26:19.131
Because you're a professional.

01:26:22.594 --> 01:26:23.970
Yes, I am.

01:26:58.881 --> 01:27:00.631
You're beautiful.

01:27:09.850 --> 01:27:12.226
You look pretty good, too, Sparky.

01:27:26.199 --> 01:27:29.076
- Champagne, madame?
- Thank you.

01:27:41.256 --> 01:27:43.507
Chalk one up to couples therapy.

01:27:45.427 --> 01:27:46.928
Some party.

01:27:49.514 --> 01:27:51.182
You're gonna do great.

01:27:51.934 --> 01:27:53.768
I'm gonna go to the bar
and get us a couple drinks.

01:27:53.852 --> 01:27:55.186
- Oh, good idea.
- Okay?

01:27:55.270 --> 01:28:01.192
And while I do that, would you please
head over there and frost yourself?

01:28:03.737 --> 01:28:06.447
- I can wear those?
- Yes, ma'am, you can.

01:28:15.415 --> 01:28:16.958
- Phillip!
- Lana!

01:28:17.042 --> 01:28:18.584
I don't see you at a party for ages.

01:28:18.710 --> 01:28:21.462
Now, here you are,
throwing the bash of the year.

01:28:21.546 --> 01:28:23.005
I'm glad you could make it.

01:28:23.090 --> 01:28:25.174
- Like them?
- It suits you.

01:28:25.258 --> 01:28:26.634
I know!

01:28:26.718 --> 01:28:28.386
Harry Winston.

01:28:28.470 --> 01:28:32.890
How did you get all these jewelers
to agree to appear at the same fête?

01:28:32.975 --> 01:28:36.602
- At the request of Mrs. DeLauer.
- Really?

01:28:36.728 --> 01:28:41.774
You see, Mr. DeLauer
controls 70% of the world's diamonds,

01:28:41.900 --> 01:28:44.986
and Mrs. DeLauer controls Mr. DeLauer.

01:28:46.405 --> 01:28:48.239
- You're bad.
- Enjoy.

01:28:49.241 --> 01:28:50.616
Lana!

01:28:50.742 --> 01:28:53.911
- And this is real?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.

01:28:53.996 --> 01:28:55.413
I insist.

01:28:56.081 --> 01:28:59.417
- Yes, sir.
- Such beauty should be celebrated.

01:29:02.671 --> 01:29:06.173
- Isadora.
- Oh, no. I'm Andie.

01:29:06.258 --> 01:29:10.428
And a pleasure to meet you, Andie,
but this is Isadora.

01:29:10.929 --> 01:29:12.179
Turn.

01:29:13.140 --> 01:29:18.352
Eighty-four karats,
named for Isadora Duncan.

01:29:18.437 --> 01:29:21.397
- Congratulations. You got her here.
- Yup.

01:29:21.481 --> 01:29:25.317
- But the question remains.
- Does she or doesn't she?

01:29:28.447 --> 01:29:30.281
We're gonna find out.

01:29:32.826 --> 01:29:34.535
- An angel of God.
- Thanks.

01:29:34.619 --> 01:29:37.204
- I am Frederic.
- Andie Anderson.

01:29:40.167 --> 01:29:43.794
Well, it looks like
you've got some competition, anyway.

01:29:46.131 --> 01:29:49.675
Miss Anderson
will be wearing Isadora for the evening.

01:29:52.304 --> 01:29:55.806
- Enjoy the party, Andie.
- Merci beaucoup.

01:29:56.808 --> 01:29:59.769
- Oh, that's stunning!
- Fabulous!

01:29:59.853 --> 01:30:03.022
Excuse me.
Two champagnes, please, sir.

01:30:05.817 --> 01:30:07.526
Pardon me, young man.

01:30:07.652 --> 01:30:10.404
Would you be kind enough
to order me a whiskey sour?

01:30:10.489 --> 01:30:11.697
Yes, ma'am, I can.

01:30:11.823 --> 01:30:13.157
- Mrs. DeLauer?
- Yes.

01:30:13.241 --> 01:30:16.118
- I'm Ben Barry with Warren Advertising.
- How do you do?

01:30:16.203 --> 01:30:18.412
The pleasure is mine.
It's nice to finally meet you.

01:30:18.497 --> 01:30:21.415
I'm very happy to meet you, too.
That's for sure.

01:30:22.334 --> 01:30:24.210
Can I get a whiskey sour, please?

01:30:31.718 --> 01:30:33.302
I can promise you that our presentation

01:30:33.386 --> 01:30:36.388
will not weary you
in the wrong way, Mrs. DeLauer.

01:30:36.515 --> 01:30:41.685
I cannot wait to see
what you present, Benjamin.

01:30:44.606 --> 01:30:46.941
Ladies, do you see what I see?

01:30:49.236 --> 01:30:52.196
Oh, Phillip, that's ridiculous.
She couldn't possibly.

01:30:52.280 --> 01:30:54.031
Don't be so sure.

01:30:54.699 --> 01:30:56.534
She might possibly.

01:30:57.202 --> 01:30:59.245
I think I'll go find out.

01:31:11.883 --> 01:31:16.470
- Excuse me. You're Andie, yes?
- Yes.

01:31:16.555 --> 01:31:18.389
I'm Phillip Warren.

01:31:18.974 --> 01:31:21.225
- Oh, you're Ben's boss.
- That's right.

01:31:21.309 --> 01:31:24.562
- Hi. Pleasure to meet you.
- Pleasure to meet you.

01:31:24.646 --> 01:31:28.524
I understand you've been an inspiration
to Ben in more ways than one.

01:31:28.608 --> 01:31:32.278
And I must say,
you look rather inspired yourself.

01:31:33.905 --> 01:31:38.325
There isn't a diamond in the room
that sparkles like a woman in love.

01:31:38.952 --> 01:31:40.411
Oh, no, no.

01:31:42.998 --> 01:31:46.250
- I'm not in love.
- No? I guess I was mistaken.

01:31:46.334 --> 01:31:49.253
No, no, no. I mean, I just...

01:31:49.337 --> 01:31:52.423
I mean, I've only known him
for 10 days. I...

01:31:54.676 --> 01:31:58.012
You can't... I can't be...

01:32:05.604 --> 01:32:07.646
Ben is a very lucky man.

01:32:08.690 --> 01:32:10.441
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.

01:32:13.612 --> 01:32:17.198
Mr. Warren, please don't tell him.
Please don't tell him!

01:32:22.370 --> 01:32:24.830
- Ben, Ben.
- Hey, hello, gentlemen.

01:32:24.956 --> 01:32:26.832
- Yeah?
- She loves you, she loves you not?

01:32:26.958 --> 01:32:29.210
- What is it?
- I don't know. We'll see.

01:32:29.294 --> 01:32:30.628
Ben!

01:32:31.463 --> 01:32:34.173
- Mr. Warren.
- Saw her, met her, she loves you.

01:32:34.299 --> 01:32:36.550
You win. Get ready to pitch.

01:32:37.636 --> 01:32:40.179
- All right!
- Yes! Yes!

01:32:44.226 --> 01:32:47.228
- Congratulations, point man.
- I'm very proud.

01:32:48.188 --> 01:32:51.232
So, you're the new point man
on the DeLauers?

01:32:51.316 --> 01:32:53.525
- She loves me.
- Good for you.

01:32:53.652 --> 01:32:55.986
And good for whoever she is.

01:32:59.366 --> 01:33:02.409
- Thank you so much.
- You're so very welcome.

01:33:02.494 --> 01:33:05.496
- Gloating, are we?
- Yeah. Pretty much.

01:33:05.580 --> 01:33:07.039
- Warren told us so...
- Yeah.

01:33:07.165 --> 01:33:09.583
You don't mess with my man, Ben.

01:33:09.668 --> 01:33:11.585
Your man Ben is a cheater.

01:33:11.670 --> 01:33:13.796
The girl has known about the bet
from the beginning.

01:33:13.880 --> 01:33:15.923
She was playing along
so Ben would win.

01:33:16.007 --> 01:33:18.467
Tell him to enjoy his short-lived,
ill-gotten victory.

01:33:18.551 --> 01:33:20.928
We're going to talk to Warren.

01:33:22.347 --> 01:33:23.514
No.

01:33:31.022 --> 01:33:32.815
- Hey.
- Remember us?

01:33:32.899 --> 01:33:34.358
- Hi!
- Hi.

01:33:34.442 --> 01:33:38.195
You know, Warren is gonna
come over here in a minute,

01:33:38.280 --> 01:33:42.408
and it would be so great
if you could just, you know,

01:33:42.492 --> 01:33:46.120
like, act like you don't know anything
about the bet.

01:33:46.204 --> 01:33:50.332
I mean, if you could tell him
that you really, truly love Ben, you know,

01:33:50.417 --> 01:33:53.919
and you weren't just, you know,
pretending so he would win,

01:33:54.004 --> 01:33:56.588
that would be huge.

01:33:56.673 --> 01:33:59.174
So what's
the average Composure reader like?

01:33:59.259 --> 01:34:02.303
Spunky, insatiable. Uppity, you bet.

01:34:02.387 --> 01:34:04.221
If you'll excuse me, Lana,

01:34:04.306 --> 01:34:08.100
there's a beautiful young woman
in a yellow dress that I must go to.

01:34:08.184 --> 01:34:10.269
Andie! She's my how-to girl.

01:34:10.353 --> 01:34:11.478
- How-to?
- Yes.

01:34:11.563 --> 01:34:17.443
Right now she's doing an article
called How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

01:34:17.527 --> 01:34:19.778
- Look him straight in the eye...
- Yeah, and just...

01:34:19.863 --> 01:34:22.072
You love Ben, and
you never heard anything about any bet.

01:34:22.157 --> 01:34:25.868
- Yeah. Love, no bet.
- I understand.

01:34:25.952 --> 01:34:29.913
Awesome. That's great. Thank you.
You look beautiful.

01:34:29.998 --> 01:34:32.166
This poor schmuck
she's been pretending to date,

01:34:32.250 --> 01:34:35.461
well, not even pretending to date,
she's actually dating the guy.

01:34:35.545 --> 01:34:38.714
She's doing
the most atrocious things to him.

01:34:38.798 --> 01:34:41.925
She's actually named his...

01:34:43.178 --> 01:34:45.054
She's named his...

01:34:50.060 --> 01:34:51.602
You're Krull.

01:34:59.277 --> 01:35:03.614
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I ask you all kindly to be seated.

01:35:03.698 --> 01:35:06.658
- Now that we're all suitably frosted...
- Benjamin, where have you been?

01:35:06.743 --> 01:35:11.038
- We haven't much time to play.
- ... and the ladies do look lovely,

01:35:11.122 --> 01:35:16.001
please help me give a warm welcome
to our special guests of the evening,

01:35:16.086 --> 01:35:18.587
Mr. and Mrs. Frederic DeLauer!

01:35:27.764 --> 01:35:32.017
And now I want to introduce
a true musical legend, who will perform

01:35:32.102 --> 01:35:37.899
some of his Oscar, Grammy,
Tony and Emmy award-winning songs.

01:35:38.983 --> 01:35:41.985
Mr. Marvin Hamlisch.

01:35:42.070 --> 01:35:43.695
Marvin!

01:35:51.287 --> 01:35:53.122
Thank you very much. I really do...

01:35:53.206 --> 01:35:58.127
Well, yes! Give another hand for...
Marvin Hamlisch is in the house!

01:36:02.590 --> 01:36:04.716
A lot of you out here
don't know Benjamin Barry.

01:36:04.801 --> 01:36:06.718
Well, shame on you.

01:36:07.887 --> 01:36:10.597
'Cause he is a very talented
advertising executive

01:36:10.682 --> 01:36:14.643
and knowledgeable sports fan
and a wagering enthusiast.

01:36:15.854 --> 01:36:20.691
But, most impressively,
he is one hell of a singer,

01:36:20.775 --> 01:36:24.236
and he has prepared
a little musical snack

01:36:24.320 --> 01:36:27.239
for his new special friend Mrs. DeLauer.

01:36:27.323 --> 01:36:29.366
Oh, isn't that wonderful?

01:36:29.451 --> 01:36:33.495
So, Ben, why don't you come up here
and sing your song?

01:36:36.291 --> 01:36:37.791
Come on, Ben!

01:36:38.543 --> 01:36:41.545
Ladies and gentlemen, Benjamin Barry!

01:36:43.089 --> 01:36:44.548
Come on, Ben.

01:36:52.724 --> 01:36:53.932
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

01:36:54.017 --> 01:36:56.185
Andie, Andie, whoa, whoa, don't run off.
Don't run off!

01:36:56.269 --> 01:36:59.980
Ladies and gentlemen, you do not
want this young lady to leave the room.

01:37:00.064 --> 01:37:02.524
Thayer, Tony,
would you stop her, please?

01:37:02.609 --> 01:37:05.235
You see, tonight,
the really special event

01:37:05.320 --> 01:37:08.989
is that we will be singing,
her and I, a duet.

01:37:09.073 --> 01:37:10.574
Yes! Miss Andie Anderson!

01:37:10.658 --> 01:37:13.911
Would you please give her
a warm round of applause! Thank you!

01:37:13.995 --> 01:37:16.663
Andie! Andie Anderson.

01:37:19.751 --> 01:37:21.251
Knock them out.

01:37:21.336 --> 01:37:25.964
Let's see what our song tonight will be.
Maybe one of her personal favorites.

01:37:27.050 --> 01:37:29.718
Marvin, do you know You're So Vain?

01:37:30.803 --> 01:37:32.763
That's not one of my songs.

01:37:32.847 --> 01:37:35.724
Can you work with me, Marvin? Yeah?

01:37:37.602 --> 01:37:41.188
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

01:37:41.272 --> 01:37:43.982
You walked into the party

01:37:44.067 --> 01:37:47.611
Like you were walking onto a yacht

01:37:47.695 --> 01:37:51.240
You had your hat pulled down
real strategically over one eye

01:37:51.324 --> 01:37:53.909
You had a scarf I think it was apricot

01:37:53.993 --> 01:37:55.786
- Strategically tipped below one eye.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:37:55.870 --> 01:37:57.704
You had one eye in the mirror

01:37:57.789 --> 01:37:59.873
As you make sure you got a real cool...

01:37:59.958 --> 01:38:01.291
- Gavotte.
- Gavotte? Yeah.

01:38:01.376 --> 01:38:04.378
And all the girls think
that they'd be your partner

01:38:04.462 --> 01:38:06.713
They'd be his partner 'cause

01:38:06.798 --> 01:38:09.716
He's so vain

01:38:09.801 --> 01:38:12.302
You probably think this song
is about you

01:38:12.387 --> 01:38:15.097
Ben Barry, you're so vain

01:38:15.181 --> 01:38:17.683
You probably think this song
is about you

01:38:17.767 --> 01:38:19.893
Don't you? Don't you?

01:38:19.978 --> 01:38:21.853
Tone-deaf and drunk
is not a good combination.

01:38:21.938 --> 01:38:25.732
You fooled me to win a bet
and you should feel ashamed

01:38:25.817 --> 01:38:28.151
Look, you took me
to a goddamn Celine Dion concert

01:38:28.236 --> 01:38:30.195
You made me miss the big game!

01:38:30.280 --> 01:38:32.364
Oh, smart guy's a rhymer

01:38:32.448 --> 01:38:36.410
Well, do we want everybody to know
your lovemaking is lame?

01:38:36.494 --> 01:38:38.078
Maybe 'cause you named my penis

01:38:38.162 --> 01:38:39.371
Yeah, you named my penis

01:38:39.455 --> 01:38:43.375
You named my penis after a dame!

01:38:43.459 --> 01:38:45.711
I really think you have to get over that.

01:38:45.795 --> 01:38:48.755
- Come on. You're so vain!
- No, you're so vain!

01:38:48.840 --> 01:38:50.257
This is the worst thing I've ever heard.

01:38:50.341 --> 01:38:51.967
You know that this song's about you,
don't you?

01:38:52.051 --> 01:38:57.056
- No! Because you're so vain!
- So vain! You're so vain!

01:38:58.141 --> 01:39:00.976
Yeah, you do know the words so well,
don't you?

01:39:01.060 --> 01:39:04.396
There she goes, ladies and gentlemen.
There she goes.

01:39:04.480 --> 01:39:07.399
- Thanks, guys.
- Take it from here, Marvin.

01:39:11.154 --> 01:39:13.655
Wasn't she wearing
the Isadora diamond?

01:39:13.740 --> 01:39:15.949
Isadora! Mon dieu! Security!

01:39:17.910 --> 01:39:19.911
No, no, no, no.

01:39:19.996 --> 01:39:22.122
Hold on, Andie Anderson.
I'm not done with you.

01:39:22.206 --> 01:39:24.958
You used me
to get ahead in your work...

01:39:25.043 --> 01:39:27.836
- I used you?
- ... you arrogant, backstabbing jerk!

01:39:27.920 --> 01:39:29.838
- Hold it! Lady, hold it!
- Come on, Andie.

01:39:29.922 --> 01:39:32.841
All right, you drove me half insane
for a goddamn magazine article.

01:39:32.925 --> 01:39:35.761
Oh, yeah, and you told people you could
make any girl fall in love with you,

01:39:35.845 --> 01:39:37.679
- and I, I was exhibit A.
- Ma'am?

01:39:37.764 --> 01:39:38.889
Time out!

01:39:38.973 --> 01:39:40.098
- What?
- What?

01:39:40.183 --> 01:39:41.892
Look, please, just give me the necklace.

01:39:41.976 --> 01:39:44.770
Then you guys can go on
and kill each other.

01:39:49.692 --> 01:39:52.653
So that's what I was, huh?
I was a guinea pig.

01:39:52.737 --> 01:39:54.446
Somebody you could test
your theories on?

01:39:54.530 --> 01:39:59.242
Yeah, and I was just a girl
somebody picked out in a bar.

01:39:59.327 --> 01:40:01.495
Yeah, you know what? Big deal.

01:40:01.579 --> 01:40:05.957
Hell, I'm sure now you can even use it
as a little twist in your story.

01:40:06.042 --> 01:40:08.960
That's a good idea.
Maybe we should bet on it.

01:40:09.545 --> 01:40:12.172
You know what?
You did your job now, Andie.

01:40:12.256 --> 01:40:14.841
- Yes, I did.
- You wanted to lose a guy in 10 days.

01:40:14.926 --> 01:40:18.720
Congratulations. You did it.
You just lost him.

01:40:20.682 --> 01:40:22.432
No, I didn't, Ben.

01:40:23.559 --> 01:40:26.561
'Cause you can't lose something
you never had.

01:40:49.502 --> 01:40:53.255
Well, it's not what I expected.

01:40:55.842 --> 01:40:57.551
It's better.

01:40:57.635 --> 01:40:59.219
Congratulations.

01:40:59.303 --> 01:41:02.639
This shows me
you're ready to be unleashed.

01:41:03.349 --> 01:41:06.643
From now on,
feel free to write about anything.

01:41:07.979 --> 01:41:09.312
Anything?

01:41:09.689 --> 01:41:11.982
Wherever the wind blows you.

01:41:14.694 --> 01:41:18.196
- Even politics?
- The wind's not going to blow you there.

01:41:20.950 --> 01:41:23.827
What about religion, poverty,
economics?

01:41:23.911 --> 01:41:26.913
This wind is really
more of a light breeze.

01:41:28.499 --> 01:41:32.335
- What can I write about, Lana?
- Whatever you want.

01:41:32.420 --> 01:41:37.174
Shoes, laser therapy,
dressing for your body type.

01:41:37.258 --> 01:41:40.260
Use your imagination.
The sky is the limit.

01:41:43.931 --> 01:41:47.142
- Thank you for this opportunity, Lana.
- Okay.

01:41:48.811 --> 01:41:52.105
And thank you for making it easy
for me to turn down.

01:41:58.112 --> 01:42:00.572
No, I mean, look,
it's not something I'm proud of.

01:42:00.698 --> 01:42:03.283
Obviously, if I could do it over again,

01:42:03.367 --> 01:42:06.203
I'd do some things differently,
you know.

01:42:08.706 --> 01:42:12.125
I tell you, it's good to talk to you,
though, man. It really is.

01:42:13.544 --> 01:42:17.589
I know it. You are the only one
that knows us both.

01:42:19.217 --> 01:42:20.425
Yeah.

01:42:26.057 --> 01:42:27.557
You wanna go?

01:42:28.559 --> 01:42:30.393
You wanna go to the game?

01:42:31.062 --> 01:42:32.854
Well, go ahead, 'cause I'm not going.

01:42:32.939 --> 01:42:36.900
Seventh and final game,
in what has been a classic series...

01:42:36.984 --> 01:42:39.444
Sweetie, I wouldn't have gone either.

01:42:39.570 --> 01:42:43.657
I mean, I would have liked to have gone,
but you probably wouldn't let me.

01:42:47.286 --> 01:42:49.579
You're doing the right thing.

01:42:50.748 --> 01:42:52.332
Oh, sweetie.

01:42:54.502 --> 01:42:56.336
There's the Chinese.

01:42:59.131 --> 01:43:00.590
I'm coming!

01:43:06.180 --> 01:43:08.807
- Okay, so that's gonna...
- Michelle.

01:43:11.435 --> 01:43:16.398
Andie, that wasn't the Chinese.
It's Mike.

01:43:16.482 --> 01:43:19.609
- Mike!
- Yeah. What do I do? What do I do?

01:43:19.694 --> 01:43:21.152
Talk to him.

01:43:22.029 --> 01:43:23.446
Okay, okay.

01:43:26.617 --> 01:43:27.784
Okay.

01:43:31.038 --> 01:43:32.289
Mike?

01:43:33.624 --> 01:43:34.791
Mike!

01:43:35.543 --> 01:43:37.794
- Hi.
- Hi.

01:43:40.464 --> 01:43:43.884
So, what are you doing here?

01:43:44.677 --> 01:43:46.553
I don't know, exactly.

01:43:47.138 --> 01:43:49.180
It was last night, I was...

01:43:49.974 --> 01:43:53.226
I was just lying there and trying to sleep.

01:43:53.311 --> 01:43:56.688
And you know that perfume
you sprayed on my pillow?

01:43:57.732 --> 01:44:00.650
- Oh, yeah.
- Well, that smell is gone now.

01:44:01.360 --> 01:44:04.654
And, Michelle, I want it back.

01:44:08.993 --> 01:44:11.661
I don't know if you can have it back.

01:44:15.666 --> 01:44:16.833
Right.

01:44:17.376 --> 01:44:18.543
Yeah.

01:44:19.086 --> 01:44:20.337
Okay.

01:44:22.673 --> 01:44:26.176
But I'm willing to consider it.

01:44:27.261 --> 01:44:29.262
Okay. Yeah.

01:44:31.015 --> 01:44:32.766
- These are for you.
- Thank you.

01:44:32.850 --> 01:44:35.101
Hi. Hi.

01:44:43.277 --> 01:44:45.111
Oh, my God!

01:44:47.949 --> 01:44:51.242
- We could...
- I remember where you live.

01:44:56.082 --> 01:44:57.707
Who needs men?

01:44:59.418 --> 01:45:03.713
Ladies, frost yourselves.

01:45:09.720 --> 01:45:12.055
And cut it! Very nice!

01:45:13.099 --> 01:45:16.393
Okay, let's go. One more.
Right away, people.

01:45:17.228 --> 01:45:19.980
We'll keep working on it.
Tim, can I see playback?

01:45:20.064 --> 01:45:21.439
Open me, Ben.

01:45:21.565 --> 01:45:25.151
- Please, break my binding. Please!
- Jesus, get that out of here, man.

01:45:26.779 --> 01:45:29.489
- You might want to read this.
- No, thanks.

01:45:30.408 --> 01:45:31.574
Okay.

01:45:32.243 --> 01:45:34.577
"I've lost a guy and I don't know why.

01:45:35.496 --> 01:45:36.746
"What went wrong?

01:45:36.831 --> 01:45:38.623
"When I started writing
this month's column,

01:45:38.749 --> 01:45:42.252
"I wanted to commit those certain,
silly dating faux pas.

01:45:42.336 --> 01:45:43.712
"What I didn't realize

01:45:43.796 --> 01:45:47.298
"was that I was making
the biggest mistake of all. "

01:45:48.134 --> 01:45:50.010
Here. Trust me.

01:45:51.345 --> 01:45:52.679
Read it.

01:46:09.321 --> 01:46:11.114
Come on set.

01:46:22.126 --> 01:46:23.460
Andie Anderson.

01:46:34.805 --> 01:46:36.806
- Excuse me, ma'am.
- Holy crap!

01:46:36.891 --> 01:46:39.184
- Where's Andie Anderson?
- She's not here.

01:46:39.310 --> 01:46:40.602
- Where is she?
- She quit.

01:46:40.686 --> 01:46:42.145
She's got an interview in Washington.

01:46:42.229 --> 01:46:44.189
- When's she leaving?
- Today.

01:46:44.315 --> 01:46:46.316
- When?
- Well, like, now.

01:46:49.820 --> 01:46:53.364
- You're not a therapist, are you?
- Oh, no.

01:46:54.158 --> 01:46:55.867
Good job, though.

01:46:58.245 --> 01:47:00.163
You owe me 300 bucks.

01:47:18.349 --> 01:47:19.557
Andie!

01:48:26.000 --> 01:48:27.250
Andie!

01:48:28.586 --> 01:48:31.629
- Ben!
- Pull over, we need to talk!

01:48:32.173 --> 01:48:34.424
Are you trying to get yourself killed?

01:48:34.508 --> 01:48:37.427
If that's what it takes, yeah!
Now pull over the cab!

01:48:38.470 --> 01:48:41.556
Sir? Excuse me, sir.
Could you please pull the car over?

01:48:41.640 --> 01:48:44.684
We're in the middle of a bridge, lady.
I can't pull the car over here.

01:48:44.768 --> 01:48:47.979
Okay, well, then do you have an ashtray
or something I can throw up in?

01:48:48.105 --> 01:48:49.606
Hey, lady!

01:48:54.486 --> 01:48:56.279
Watch it, broad!

01:48:56.363 --> 01:48:59.157
- What the hell was that?
- Is this true?

01:49:00.618 --> 01:49:01.826
Ben, please.

01:49:01.952 --> 01:49:05.622
Is this true
or are you just trying to sell magazines?

01:49:09.001 --> 01:49:10.835
I meant every word.

01:49:13.797 --> 01:49:15.798
Well, where are you going?

01:49:16.342 --> 01:49:19.844
- I have an interview.
- Yeah, in Washington. I know.

01:49:24.516 --> 01:49:26.351
Where are you going?

01:49:28.229 --> 01:49:31.856
Ben it's the only place I can go
and write what I want to write.

01:49:33.150 --> 01:49:35.235
No, I'm not buying that.

01:49:35.486 --> 01:49:37.403
You can write anywhere.

01:49:39.490 --> 01:49:41.366
I think you're running away.

01:49:41.492 --> 01:49:44.327
Why don't you save your mind games
for your next bet, okay?

01:49:44.453 --> 01:49:46.371
I am not running away.

01:49:48.499 --> 01:49:49.874
Bullshit.

01:49:57.508 --> 01:49:58.841
Excuse me?

01:50:02.054 --> 01:50:03.638
You heard me.

01:50:06.976 --> 01:50:08.351
Bullshit.

01:50:11.313 --> 01:50:13.481
Hey, lady, what do you wanna do?

01:50:14.525 --> 01:50:16.734
Take the lady's luggage
back to her place.

01:50:16.860 --> 01:50:19.070
She has alternate transportation.

01:50:22.366 --> 01:50:24.200
You calling my bluff?

01:50:25.661 --> 01:50:27.328
You bet I am.

01:50:45.764 --> 01:50:49.100
- Look who made the trip with me.
- It's our love fern!

01:50:49.226 --> 01:50:52.353
Oh, Benny Boo-Boo Boo-Boo-Boo!

01:50:52.377 --> 01:51:12.377
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