WEBVTT
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..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::..
.:: www.bolboljan.net ::.
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Where's Manny?
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Tell him the ice cream man is here.
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Freeze. Hammer time.
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Can we get down to business?
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You got the money?
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Tell him.
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He said that
he's not gonna give you one red cent...
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until you tell him
what flavor the ice cream is.
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Vanilla. That's what you ordered.
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-Tell him.
-Okay.
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lt's all about the Benjamins, baby!
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Bring in the stuff.
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-Arnold Schwarzenegger, funny man!
-He's funny like that!
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There is your ice cream.
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Tell him. l see coming. He say....
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l tell him, l say Jess.
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He coming, and he say....
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-Tell him.
-He say...
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FBl. You're under arrest.
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-He's going to run.
-No, he ain't.
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You owe me $1 .
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Where are you going, big boy?
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Goddamn. Now l'm going to bust your ass.
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ls that all your big ass got?
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-Enough.
-Kevin.
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All right, you two over here. Right now.
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l swear l'll shoot both of you.
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Damn, Marcus, why you always
got to pick the biggest dude?
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l don't know. l like a challenge.
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See, what did l tell you?
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We did it, right? Didn't l tell you?
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-No help. No backup.
-You the man.
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We'll get all the credit.
The biggest bust of our career.
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400 keys of pure....
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-Vanilla ice cream?
-What?
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My man! Where's the drugs?
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l know nothing about drugs.
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l sell ice cream. Strawberry. Vanilla.
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Neapolitan, for example.
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Tell Manny his ice cream delivery is here.
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Never mind. Wrong store.
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FBl. Freeze!
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-Marcus?
-l'm good.
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-They're moving.
-Let's go.
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-Which one?
-l don't know.
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-God.
-Damn.
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l told you we should've called for backup.
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You know the Chief's gonna kill us, right?
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You know the Chief's gonna kill us, right?
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Let me give you guys a little tip.
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lf you're going to
operate outside the channels...
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do the whole renegade cop thing...
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you might want to make sure
that you get the right guy.
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Chief, we almost had the guy.
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Our intelligence was just a little off.
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Wait a minute. lntelligence?
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Look around you, Copeland.
There's nothing intelligent about this.
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Now l'm tired of your escapades.
l want them to stop.
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The last thing l need is
to be the laughingstock of the Bureau.
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And furthermore, the--
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Hold on. Hello? Baby, l can't talk.
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The Chief is chewing my ass right now.
l got to call you back. Bye.
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-Sorry, Chief.
-As l was saying--
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Gordon here.
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Yes, he is.
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-lt's for you.
-Thank you.
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-Baby, l'm still with the Chief.
-No respect.
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No, he's really not happy now.
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Okay, l got to go. Bye. Thanks, Chief.
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You guys are.... Get this place cleaned up.
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l expect to have a full report
on my desk tomorrow.
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-Yes, sir.
-And in the meantime...
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l'm checking with the Bureau
to see if they got any openings...
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in lraq.
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The Dynamic Duo strikes again.
Way to go, Baskin and Robbin.
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Or is it Hag and Dazs?
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Hag and Dazs. You wrote that?
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That's good, l like that.
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-Later, Hag.
-Adis, Dazs.
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-l hate those guys, dude.
-Oh, God.
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All right.
Well, let's get this place cleaned up.
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-All right.
-Okay, so, you do the floor.
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Clean all the ice cream up
and l'll go warm the car up.
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Okay. So much for a hot meal.
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-Hey, baby.
-Don't ''hey, baby'' me.
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l can't believe you have me
sitting here all night worried about you.
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All night? Baby...
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it's only 8:00.
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Look, after work, me and Kevin went
down to the bar and had a couple of drinks.
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l know. l called the bar.
They said you left at 7:45.
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l checked MapQuest. lt only takes
six minutes to get there from here.
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So, if you got somebody on the side,
you need to tell me.
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Baby, listen to what you just say.
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MapQuest said it takes six minutes
to get here. l got here in eight.
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Which means there's two minutes
unaccounted for.
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lf l was cheating on you, don't you think
l'd need more than two minutes?
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You know what?
l ain't going to deal with this.
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l'm tired, okay?
l had a long day at work. l got shot at.
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See, that is exactly what l'm talking about.
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We don't communicate.
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-Okay, fine. You want to communicate?
-Yes.
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Come on. Let's communicate. Okay?
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Okay. Let's start with last week.
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Last week.
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You and l were supposed
to go shopping together. We get to the mall.
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l buy this beautiful dress,
l get my hair done.
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You don't say anything. l don't know,
maybe you just don't want to....
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Did you hear me just now?
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Tell me what l said.
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l heard everything. You was communicating.
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Don't play with me right now.
l am not in the mood.
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l cannot believe you came home late
and then you start....
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Marcus! You are falling asleep again.
l am talking to you.
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l wasn't asleep, l was closing my eyes
and visualizing your words.
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Oh, really? Visualizing?
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Why don't you paint me a picture
of what l just said?
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-Hold on.
-You know why?
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Because you are
falling asleep again. Marcus!
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We received this from Mr. Andrew Wilson,
CEO of Wilson Cruise Lines.
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It was delivered to his home.
The girls in the photo are his daughters...
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and heiresses to the Wilson fortune.
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We believe
they are the kidnapper's next victims.
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Mr. Wilson has given us permission
to shadow his daughters.
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We're going to set up surveillance...
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and if the kidnapper strikes...
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this time we will be ready.
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Now, the Wilson sisters will be flying
into JFK this morning.
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So who's going to pick them up?
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Obviously, everyone has read
the profile on the girls.
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Still, somebody's got to do it.
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l don't think this is a good idea.
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l don't care. We deserve to be on this case
just as much as Gomez and Harper.
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l know, but we don't want
to interrupt the man in a briefing.
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Well, somebody got to stand up to him.
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-Chief.
-What?
00:11:12.360 --> 00:11:15.160
-Marcus has something he want to tell you.
-What?
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Chief, we just want to know
if we could get on the case.
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You're on.
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The boys over at lntel seem to think
that the kidnapper's a guy...
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named Ted Burton.
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lt says Burton was a partner of Wilson's...
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and some other associates
in some business venture that failed.
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Says he spent time in the Federal pen
and lost his fortune.
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Guy's been MlA since his release and those
dates coincide with the first kidnappings.
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-What do you think?
-l think this babysitting gig sucks.
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Dude, relax.
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Look, man.
All we got to do is pick these chicks up...
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drop their ass off in the Hamptons,
then we back in the Chief's good graces.
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l didn't join the FBl to become a nanny.
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l want to be on the street
where the action is.
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Okay, Blackie Chan, and you'll get there.
Can we just do this first, please?
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-All right.
-You didn't put dairy in this, did you?
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-No.
-Because you know l'm lactose intolerant.
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Last time, l barely made it to the bathroom.
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Why would l want to disturb your stomach?
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There goes your girls.
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Come on, man. Let's do this.
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-Hi, l'm Kevin Copeland. This is--
-We already gave to the United Negro Fund.
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-Wait. Hold on.
-Excuse us.
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We're actually here
to escort you ladies to the Hamptons.
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The bags are on the plane.
Take Baby and clean out his bag.
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He didn't have his colonic
and he like pooped everywhere.
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-What's this?
-Baby got to ride in the car seat.
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Where the hell am l supposed to sit?
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This ain't right.
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Man, you guys sure got a lot of bags
for a weekend.
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-This isn't a weekend.
-lt's the weekend.
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Labor Day in the Hamptons.
The last weekend of the social season.
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Only the hottest people
are going to be there.
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And only the hottest of the hottest
are going to make it onto the cover...
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of Hamptons Magazine. And this is our year.
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Open the window.
Baby likes a little fresh breeze.
00:13:35.170 --> 00:13:38.660
l just hope the Vandergeld sisters'
private jet crashes on the way there.
00:13:38.740 --> 00:13:41.680
-Oh, my God, Brittany!
-You were thinking it!
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-l know, but you said it.
-l know.
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You know Heather totally hates you
because you slept with her boyfriend.
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My God. So what?
l sleep with everyone's boyfriend.
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ls everybody all right?
00:14:32.460 --> 00:14:34.490
My God! Your lip.
00:14:34.560 --> 00:14:36.390
My God! Your nose.
00:14:39.660 --> 00:14:42.060
Marcus, are you okay?
00:14:42.530 --> 00:14:44.720
-l'm cool.
-Baby's in a wreck!
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l can't believe...
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you think we're going to go to the Hamptons
with my face looking like that.
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lt's really not that bad.
Just get some makeup and cover it up.
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Put makeup on this?
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l am so fricking pissed.
00:15:03.290 --> 00:15:06.090
My God, this is like the worst day of my life.
00:15:06.160 --> 00:15:08.100
l went to go get my brows done...
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and l told her to make me look like J-Lo.
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And then that fricking Russian toad
made me look...
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like Liza Minnelli or something.
00:15:15.570 --> 00:15:19.060
Oh, my God! l'm going to have a B.F.
00:15:19.440 --> 00:15:20.870
Wait. What's a B.F.?
00:15:20.940 --> 00:15:22.970
She's going to have a bitch fit!
00:15:23.040 --> 00:15:25.730
-You better get out of here.
-l am going to call your boss.
00:15:25.810 --> 00:15:29.080
-You don't have to do that.
-No, l'll call the owner of the company.
00:15:29.150 --> 00:15:32.210
Come on, just take it easy.
Look, we can work this out.
00:15:32.950 --> 00:15:35.180
-l'm going to write a letter.
-No.
00:15:35.250 --> 00:15:37.840
Please don't write a letter.
Look, just calm down.
00:15:37.920 --> 00:15:40.440
You guys just stay here.
Stay here the whole weekend.
00:15:40.520 --> 00:15:43.650
Do whatever you want. But whatever you do,
do not leave this room.
00:15:43.730 --> 00:15:47.760
Don't leave this room, because if you do,
everyone's gonna see those hideous scars.
00:15:47.830 --> 00:15:49.230
Scar?
00:15:49.300 --> 00:15:53.930
-My God! Permanent damage.
-My life is over.
00:15:54.300 --> 00:15:58.170
lf l lose this job with these good benefits,
Gina's gonna kill me.
00:16:01.350 --> 00:16:03.510
-Well?
-They won't go.
00:16:04.110 --> 00:16:06.980
-What do you mean, they won't go?
-They won't go.
00:16:07.050 --> 00:16:10.340
Marcus, this weekend in the Hamptons
means everything for these girls.
00:16:10.420 --> 00:16:14.820
They won't show up with a scratched-up
nose and a busted lip for nobody.
00:16:19.800 --> 00:16:21.200
That's cool.
00:16:23.300 --> 00:16:24.320
What are you doing?
00:16:24.400 --> 00:16:26.830
l'm just going to kill myself before
the Chief does.
00:16:26.900 --> 00:16:28.460
-Bye-bye, Kevin.
-Come on.
00:16:28.540 --> 00:16:30.210
Don't do that. Stop being ridiculous.
00:16:30.270 --> 00:16:32.400
l'm not being ridiculous. You heard the man.
00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:34.180
One more screw-up, and we're through.
00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:37.270
-l know, man.
-See? That's probably him right now.
00:16:38.450 --> 00:16:40.050
Hey, what's up, Chief?
00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:42.390
There's something me and Kevin
want to tell you.
00:16:42.450 --> 00:16:44.680
Yeah, Chief? Hey.
00:16:44.820 --> 00:16:48.220
Me and Marcus just wanted to thank you
for the opportunity, man.
00:16:48.290 --> 00:16:49.750
No, we didn't.
00:16:49.830 --> 00:16:51.660
Yeah, we really appreciate it.
00:16:51.730 --> 00:16:54.030
They wanted to stop off
and get something to eat.
00:16:54.100 --> 00:16:55.360
He's lying to--
00:16:58.070 --> 00:17:00.370
Two, three hours max.
00:17:01.240 --> 00:17:02.340
Trust me.
00:17:02.410 --> 00:17:06.750
lf l don't have them there in three hours,
l'll cut them off and mail them to you myself.
00:17:06.810 --> 00:17:09.710
-All right, take care. Bye.
-He lied, Chief.
00:17:10.780 --> 00:17:14.840
Why did you do that? You know them girls
aren't going to be there.
00:17:14.950 --> 00:17:16.570
They'll be there.
00:17:17.820 --> 00:17:19.310
Hey, Josh.
00:17:20.720 --> 00:17:23.020
How'd you like to be part of the team?
00:17:23.490 --> 00:17:25.010
Where are the white women at?
00:17:25.100 --> 00:17:26.360
Let's do this.
00:18:13.610 --> 00:18:15.510
He's right. Make them bigger.
00:18:49.810 --> 00:18:52.140
Chief. They're here.
00:18:52.220 --> 00:18:55.750
All right, the girls are yours.
Stick with them. Don't blow your cover.
00:18:55.820 --> 00:18:56.810
Yes, sir.
00:18:57.120 --> 00:19:00.810
-Are you sure this is going to work?
-Just trust me. Follow my lead.
00:19:20.610 --> 00:19:24.010
What's up, money? You got a problem?
What you looking at my ass for?
00:19:24.080 --> 00:19:25.940
No, yo, hold my poodle.
00:19:26.020 --> 00:19:28.890
What's up? Y'all got a problem?
Y'all want some of this?
00:19:28.950 --> 00:19:31.750
You want some of this, punk? What, boy?
00:19:31.820 --> 00:19:34.290
-l'll take the both of you.
-Let's get out of here.
00:19:34.430 --> 00:19:37.300
-He was looking at my ass like l'm a girl.
-You are a girl!
00:19:37.360 --> 00:19:41.190
And you better start acting like one
or you're going to be an unemployed girl.
00:19:41.270 --> 00:19:44.270
Damn. l'd sure like to cut that cake.
00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:46.030
Here, yo, hold this!
00:19:46.110 --> 00:19:48.050
Hey, you trying to look at my lumps?
00:19:48.110 --> 00:19:50.210
l'll pull off my G-string and handle mine.
00:19:50.280 --> 00:19:52.380
-l'll handle mine.
-Kevin, it's Gomez.
00:19:53.680 --> 00:19:55.940
Welcome to the Royal Hamptons Hotel.
00:19:56.020 --> 00:19:58.920
-The bags are in the car, Jos.
-The name is Gomez.
00:19:58.990 --> 00:20:01.650
-Whatever.
-Yeah, great. Here. Take Baby.
00:20:01.760 --> 00:20:04.350
Clean out his bag.
Poor thing just pooped everywhere.
00:20:04.420 --> 00:20:06.610
And teach him how to say,
''Quiero Taco Bell.''
00:20:06.690 --> 00:20:09.450
-Thanks a lot, Rico Suave. Grazie.
-Thanks, Julio.
00:20:09.530 --> 00:20:11.200
Right away, ma'am.
00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:23.730
Sweetie, you've got to slow up
with those Cosmos.
00:20:25.810 --> 00:20:28.610
Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, checking in.
00:20:29.080 --> 00:20:31.170
Sorry. They're new.
00:20:31.520 --> 00:20:35.320
-Dr. Dorfman did an amazing job.
-They feel so real.
00:20:36.820 --> 00:20:40.850
Hi. Yeah, l just...
l need a credit card, please.
00:20:40.930 --> 00:20:42.230
And some lD, please.
00:20:45.030 --> 00:20:47.930
Credit card? lD?
00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:52.100
l'm so fricking pissed.
00:20:52.670 --> 00:20:54.570
-Ma'am, l--
-First of all...
00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:57.830
l go to Dr. Dorfman.
He totally messes up my nose job.
00:20:57.910 --> 00:21:00.970
l ask him to make me
look like Gwyneth Paltrow.
00:21:01.280 --> 00:21:05.370
l get off the surgery table
looking like freaking Shrek.
00:21:06.450 --> 00:21:10.080
Then l get here, and Mr. Harper...
00:21:10.160 --> 00:21:14.190
makes me feel like
l'm some dumb blonde with fake boobs...
00:21:14.430 --> 00:21:16.400
going to a Hugh Hefner party.
00:21:16.460 --> 00:21:18.390
No. l didn't mean to offend you.
00:21:18.470 --> 00:21:20.730
-lt's just protocol.
-l'm going to have a B.F.
00:21:20.800 --> 00:21:23.090
My God. She's going to have a bitch fit.
00:21:23.170 --> 00:21:27.000
No. Don't have a B.F. now--
00:21:27.070 --> 00:21:30.770
l want to speak to your supervisor.
Better yet, l'm going to write a letter.
00:21:30.840 --> 00:21:33.600
-Miss, there's no reason to--
-You are in big trouble.
00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:36.580
''Dear Mr...
00:21:37.020 --> 00:21:39.180
''Royal Hampton.
00:21:39.990 --> 00:21:44.390
''l am a white woman...
00:21:44.460 --> 00:21:48.020
-''in America.''
-Ladies, is there a problem here?
00:21:48.090 --> 00:21:49.610
-Yes.
-No.
00:21:49.760 --> 00:21:52.090
There's no problem.
00:21:52.170 --> 00:21:54.730
These are two of our VlP guests.
00:21:55.070 --> 00:21:57.270
lssue them keys. lmmediately.
00:21:58.140 --> 00:21:59.130
Yes, sir.
00:21:59.210 --> 00:22:01.010
VlP. Learn your acronyms.
00:22:01.840 --> 00:22:05.470
-What a sweetheart.
-Here you are. Enjoy your stay.
00:22:05.580 --> 00:22:09.710
Has anyone ever told you
you look just like Denzel Washington?
00:22:11.080 --> 00:22:15.570
Yes, actually l have heard it once or twice.
00:22:18.560 --> 00:22:20.900
What a beautiful chocolate man.
00:22:22.660 --> 00:22:24.450
Beautiful. God.
00:22:27.130 --> 00:22:28.720
-That was close.
-Yeah.
00:22:30.740 --> 00:22:32.680
-Are they waving at us?
-l don't know.
00:22:32.740 --> 00:22:35.680
-What are we going to do?
-Just act friendly.
00:22:37.710 --> 00:22:39.500
My God.
00:22:43.950 --> 00:22:46.780
Well, don't act like you don't know us.
00:22:50.090 --> 00:22:52.580
Karen, Lisa, Tori.
00:22:53.290 --> 00:22:54.850
Oh, my God.
00:22:55.830 --> 00:22:58.770
l haven't seen you in forever.
00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:00.360
lt's only been a year.
00:23:00.430 --> 00:23:03.330
Did you do something different
to your hair?
00:23:03.470 --> 00:23:05.260
-No.
-You gain weight?
00:23:06.440 --> 00:23:10.040
-No.
-l know! You just had a birthday.
00:23:11.340 --> 00:23:15.470
-Yeah.
-Totally. Total fire sign. l knew it.
00:23:15.550 --> 00:23:17.450
-l totally knew it.
-Wait a minute.
00:23:17.520 --> 00:23:20.050
There is definitely...
00:23:20.390 --> 00:23:22.860
something different about the two of you.
00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:29.660
Collagen.
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:34.870
You little witch. How did you know?
00:23:34.930 --> 00:23:39.830
Duh, it's totally obvious.
Your lips went from Cameron Diaz to Jay-Z.
00:23:43.840 --> 00:23:45.600
You got taller, too.
00:23:47.910 --> 00:23:49.770
We got our knees done.
00:23:51.150 --> 00:23:53.010
You can do that?
00:23:53.090 --> 00:23:54.580
-You should do that.
-Yes.
00:23:54.650 --> 00:23:57.120
Well, it was really good
seeing you ladies. Bye.
00:23:57.190 --> 00:23:59.650
Excuse me.
Where do you think you're going?
00:24:00.290 --> 00:24:01.720
To go freshen up.
00:24:01.800 --> 00:24:05.530
The Hamptons Magazine reception
just started, so let's hit it.
00:24:09.870 --> 00:24:11.570
Hey, check it out.
00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:14.440
Are those the Wilson sisters?
00:24:14.510 --> 00:24:18.950
More like the Wilt Chamberlain sisters.
l never noticed how big they are.
00:24:20.050 --> 00:24:21.780
But l'd still bone.
00:24:23.180 --> 00:24:25.510
My God. There's Heath.
00:24:28.890 --> 00:24:32.420
Dude, are you hitting Karen Googlestein,
the soap heiress, too?
00:24:32.490 --> 00:24:34.280
How do you keep that shit dangling?
00:24:34.360 --> 00:24:36.920
l keep telling her l'm going to break
up with my girl.
00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:38.900
You better hope Heather doesn't find out.
00:24:38.970 --> 00:24:40.300
She won't.
00:24:40.530 --> 00:24:43.400
At least until l wrap up this big deal
with her father.
00:24:43.470 --> 00:24:44.830
Hey, Mr. V.
00:24:49.210 --> 00:24:52.270
And look, there they are.
The fen-phen twins.
00:24:53.010 --> 00:24:54.410
They're hot.
00:24:54.880 --> 00:24:56.500
What, are you blind?
00:24:56.580 --> 00:24:58.640
That's Heather and Megan Vandergeld.
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:01.780
Your sworn enemies since you were like,
l don't know. Eight?
00:25:01.860 --> 00:25:04.800
Did l say hot? l meant not.
00:25:05.160 --> 00:25:07.830
-l totally hate them.
-Did you guys hear about Megan?
00:25:07.890 --> 00:25:12.020
She got stopped by security at Saks
trying to pull a Winona.
00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:20.500
God. Come on.
00:25:26.550 --> 00:25:29.040
-This is going to be fun.
-Move.
00:25:29.550 --> 00:25:33.790
Look who just flew in from the slums
of Beverly Hills.
00:25:34.120 --> 00:25:36.310
lt's The Beverly Ho-billies.
00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:42.400
-Squeeze me?
-No, you didn't.
00:25:42.960 --> 00:25:45.790
l'm sorry, but we just saw your new video.
00:25:45.870 --> 00:25:48.530
They had a screening
over at Saks Fifth Avenue...
00:25:48.600 --> 00:25:50.500
in the security office.
00:25:51.810 --> 00:25:53.710
A klept-ho-maniac.
00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:59.040
Your mother shops at Saks.
00:25:59.950 --> 00:26:01.040
What?
00:26:03.720 --> 00:26:07.680
My God. You want to talk about mothers?
00:26:08.790 --> 00:26:12.230
You want to talk about mothers.
00:26:12.290 --> 00:26:15.120
lt's mother time. Okay.
00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:18.760
Your mother's so dumb
she went to Dr. Dre for a Pap smear.
00:26:18.830 --> 00:26:22.520
''Something's wrong, Dr. Dre.
My coochie's doing a beatbox.''
00:26:22.600 --> 00:26:24.830
Yeah? Well, your mother is so stupid...
00:26:24.900 --> 00:26:27.300
she exercises when she could just get...
00:26:27.370 --> 00:26:29.360
liposuction or something.
00:26:29.510 --> 00:26:33.970
Your mother's so old that her breast milk
is powdered. You breast-feed like this.
00:26:36.620 --> 00:26:38.650
Your mother is so, like....
00:26:39.420 --> 00:26:40.820
She's so....
00:26:42.260 --> 00:26:43.750
Megan, you go.
00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:46.210
Your mother is so stupid...
00:26:46.290 --> 00:26:49.190
that she goes to Barneys Rooftop
Deck Restaurant for lunch...
00:26:49.260 --> 00:26:53.280
and orders a nioise salad and calls it
a ''ni-coise'' salad.
00:26:53.370 --> 00:26:55.170
''Ni-coise'' salad, right?
00:26:55.270 --> 00:26:57.330
Your mother's ass is so hairy...
00:26:57.400 --> 00:27:01.630
it looks like Don King's about to pop out
and say, ''Only in America!''
00:27:02.140 --> 00:27:03.870
Your mother's so stupid...
00:27:03.940 --> 00:27:07.700
that she goes into Gucci
and she tries to buy, like, Fendi and stuff.
00:27:07.780 --> 00:27:11.870
Megan, Heather. Come on now, girls.
ls this any way to speak to your guests?
00:27:12.850 --> 00:27:14.970
Brittany and Tiffany Wilson.
00:27:15.050 --> 00:27:18.680
l haven't seen you since you were smaller.
00:27:19.090 --> 00:27:22.110
Yeah. Well, we're all grown up now.
00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:23.900
Yeah, l can see that.
00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:27.160
Ladies, l fully expect
to see you later at the White Party.
00:27:27.230 --> 00:27:30.860
-l think it's gonna be the best one ever.
-We'll be there.
00:27:31.470 --> 00:27:34.770
-Take care. Bye. Good seeing you again.
-Bye, Mr. V.
00:27:36.540 --> 00:27:38.300
This isn't over yet.
00:27:39.410 --> 00:27:42.710
This is a long weekend.
You better watch your back.
00:27:44.150 --> 00:27:47.380
-Ladies.
-Whatever.
00:27:48.560 --> 00:27:52.190
l can't believe you guys just did that
to the Vandergelds.
00:27:52.260 --> 00:27:55.890
You know, they could take you
off the scene just like that.
00:27:55.960 --> 00:28:00.050
-Yeah, but it was so cool, you guys.
-So cool.
00:28:02.240 --> 00:28:05.870
lsn't that Denise Porter from NY1 News?
00:28:05.970 --> 00:28:09.330
Yeah, l'm working on getting you
an interview with her.
00:28:09.410 --> 00:28:10.850
Great for your image.
00:28:10.910 --> 00:28:14.000
l think l'll go over there
and introduce myself.
00:28:14.250 --> 00:28:17.450
-Do you think now's a good time?
-Actually, it's a perfect time.
00:28:17.520 --> 00:28:20.750
-Wouldn't want to miss a photo op.
-Never that.
00:28:20.820 --> 00:28:22.080
-See you later.
-Have fun.
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:24.560
-What's wrong? Did you just get cramps?
-Yeah.
00:28:24.620 --> 00:28:27.780
-Do you need a tamp?
-Heating pad?
00:28:27.930 --> 00:28:31.270
-Hors d'oeuvres?
-Thank you, Wolfgang Paco.
00:28:32.400 --> 00:28:34.960
Would you give that to Baby? Thank you.
00:28:35.370 --> 00:28:38.070
-Bye, Chico. Vamonos.
-Bon apptit.
00:28:38.710 --> 00:28:40.200
l'll have one.
00:28:41.270 --> 00:28:44.970
-Hi, my name is--
-Brittany Wilson, of course.
00:28:45.550 --> 00:28:48.420
Yeah. How'd you know? Brittany Wilson.
00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:50.350
Well, it's my job to know.
00:28:50.420 --> 00:28:55.220
Your publicist, Tori, has been calling me
nonstop about setting up an interview.
00:28:55.290 --> 00:29:00.160
lf l would've known you were so beautiful,
l probably would've called you myself.
00:29:01.260 --> 00:29:05.920
Well, if l wasn't mistaken, l'd think
you were flirting with me, Miss Wilson.
00:29:07.530 --> 00:29:11.730
Me? Flirting with you? A girl? Never.
00:29:13.310 --> 00:29:16.510
Sorry, honey. l don't eat sushi. Strictly beef.
00:29:18.080 --> 00:29:22.250
-Boy, you're really strong, aren't you?
-lt's from all that protein.
00:29:22.580 --> 00:29:25.980
My God. These are delicious.
00:29:27.120 --> 00:29:29.910
You might want to slow down
on the cheese.
00:29:31.430 --> 00:29:35.230
You mean, there's cheese,
as in dairy cheese?
00:29:35.530 --> 00:29:38.690
Yeah. Unless you know another way
to make quiche.
00:29:44.110 --> 00:29:47.510
-Ladies, l think l got to go to the bathroom.
-Good. We'll come with.
00:29:47.580 --> 00:29:50.450
No, l can handle it myself.
Thank you, though.
00:29:50.510 --> 00:29:53.100
Like we're going to let you go alone.
00:29:54.050 --> 00:29:56.040
Time for touchups anyway.
00:29:57.420 --> 00:29:58.820
Move, bitch.
00:30:16.300 --> 00:30:18.670
My God, you guys.
Heath is here. What should l do?
00:30:18.740 --> 00:30:20.740
l don't understand what you see in him.
00:30:20.810 --> 00:30:23.540
He's an out-of-work actor
living in a share house.
00:30:23.610 --> 00:30:25.670
And he drives a 3 Series BMW.
00:30:29.020 --> 00:30:32.290
Tori, l really think that you need
to cut Heath a little bit of slack.
00:30:32.350 --> 00:30:35.410
His aunt died three years ago
and he really needs new headshots.
00:30:35.490 --> 00:30:38.790
He's just going through
a really rough time right now. Okay?
00:30:46.300 --> 00:30:47.560
You okay?
00:30:50.070 --> 00:30:52.300
Everything all right in there?
00:30:53.070 --> 00:30:55.440
lt's fine. Shit.
00:30:55.680 --> 00:30:58.840
Tiff, we're just going to
meet you outside. Okay?
00:31:04.450 --> 00:31:05.780
Love you.
00:31:08.090 --> 00:31:11.330
Man, it may be summertime
in the Hamptons...
00:31:11.890 --> 00:31:14.880
but it is snowing up in here.
00:31:16.700 --> 00:31:19.730
Tony, hand me my boots
because l'm about to go skiing.
00:31:20.800 --> 00:31:24.390
-Great game last night, Latrell.
-That's what l do, baby.
00:31:31.910 --> 00:31:34.030
Now that's what l'm talking about.
00:31:35.780 --> 00:31:39.080
A white girl with a black girl's ass.
00:31:40.120 --> 00:31:41.980
l'm taking that home to Mama.
00:31:44.330 --> 00:31:45.660
Pardon me.
00:31:46.190 --> 00:31:48.620
Santa must've come early this year...
00:31:48.930 --> 00:31:51.870
because you were first on my Christmas list.
00:31:52.100 --> 00:31:53.900
There it is, right there.
00:31:53.970 --> 00:31:58.170
l want to know. Are you naughty or nice?
00:31:59.840 --> 00:32:01.860
Sorry, l'm not interested.
00:32:03.480 --> 00:32:07.420
-l'll take that as naughty.
-Naughty.
00:32:07.750 --> 00:32:09.480
You know what they say:
00:32:09.550 --> 00:32:13.000
''Once you go black,
you're going to need a wheelchair.''
00:32:13.750 --> 00:32:16.410
Hey, Latrell. l had a great time last night.
00:32:17.590 --> 00:32:20.060
-Okay, call me later.
-As l was saying....
00:32:20.260 --> 00:32:24.130
Look, King Kong. Why don't you take you
and your 1980 pickup lines...
00:32:24.200 --> 00:32:27.960
climb the Empire State Building,
beat on your big old monkey chest...
00:32:28.040 --> 00:32:30.370
and then jump off? Excuse me.
00:32:30.840 --> 00:32:32.830
Hold up, hold on now. l'll get the--
00:32:32.910 --> 00:32:35.820
-This is no joke, man.
-Get your hands off me, man.
00:32:37.880 --> 00:32:42.240
She don't know it yet,
but that's wifey right there.
00:32:42.590 --> 00:32:45.060
Hello, everybody. For just one second.
00:32:45.120 --> 00:32:48.240
I'm Warren Vandergeld.
I'm sure most of you know me.
00:32:48.320 --> 00:32:51.020
And I just want to remind you
that tonight's the night.
00:32:51.090 --> 00:32:54.790
The Vandergeld Foundation's
annual charity auction.
00:32:57.930 --> 00:32:59.690
So bring your checkbook...
00:32:59.770 --> 00:33:03.070
dress to impress,
and we'll see you there. Have fun.
00:33:04.540 --> 00:33:08.530
-So what are you going to wear?
-This?
00:33:13.050 --> 00:33:14.650
You're so funny.
00:33:16.390 --> 00:33:18.290
Ladies, you know what this means.
00:33:18.620 --> 00:33:20.110
Shopping!
00:33:25.090 --> 00:33:28.990
And now, the Number One
most requested song on WQQR....
00:33:31.800 --> 00:33:35.030
-lt's our jam.
-This is our jam, ladies. Come on.
00:33:35.410 --> 00:33:38.640
Ready? Five, six, seven, eight...
00:33:38.740 --> 00:33:41.710
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
00:33:41.780 --> 00:33:44.410
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
00:33:48.820 --> 00:33:51.720
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
00:33:51.790 --> 00:33:55.700
Making a way
Through the crowd
00:33:56.030 --> 00:33:58.430
Take it, Tiff and Britt. This is your verse.
00:33:58.760 --> 00:34:01.280
Into the sky
00:34:01.360 --> 00:34:06.230
Do you think time
Would pass me by
00:34:06.340 --> 00:34:10.640
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
00:34:10.710 --> 00:34:14.240
If I could
Just see you
00:34:15.710 --> 00:34:18.970
Tonight
00:34:19.050 --> 00:34:20.280
C-minus.
00:34:23.320 --> 00:34:25.520
That's hot. Totally hot.
00:34:25.590 --> 00:34:26.920
feel a nigga
00:34:26.990 --> 00:34:30.860
Guys. l can't believe that you just said that.
00:34:31.260 --> 00:34:32.590
Said what?
00:34:33.330 --> 00:34:34.800
The ''N'' word.
00:34:38.270 --> 00:34:42.570
-So? Nobody's around.
-Yeah.
00:34:47.910 --> 00:34:50.030
50 Cent and B.I.G. my nigga
00:34:50.110 --> 00:34:52.410
Don't try to act like you don't feel a nigga
00:34:52.480 --> 00:34:55.280
Biggie yo nigga, 50 yo nigga
Squeeze the trigga' leave a nigga fo' sho
00:34:55.880 --> 00:34:57.650
Ladies, can l help you?
00:34:57.810 --> 00:35:00.440
Yes, actually.
l need something for my friend.
00:35:00.520 --> 00:35:04.220
Something that says,
''l'm not a whore but l'm not a virgin either.''
00:35:04.290 --> 00:35:06.520
l've got just the thing. Come.
00:35:08.260 --> 00:35:11.200
-What about you, Brittany?
-No, thank you, sweetie. l'm fine.
00:35:11.260 --> 00:35:13.020
Good. You can help me. Come on.
00:35:13.100 --> 00:35:15.930
-Me?
-Yeah, we're girls. That's what we do.
00:35:16.530 --> 00:35:17.590
God.
00:35:28.580 --> 00:35:29.810
Come on.
00:35:35.150 --> 00:35:37.440
-Hello?
-Hi, baby.
00:35:37.650 --> 00:35:39.050
What's up, baby?
00:35:39.120 --> 00:35:43.050
l'm getting my hair done, and l was thinking
that we could go to the movies.
00:35:43.160 --> 00:35:44.790
How's that sound?
00:35:44.890 --> 00:35:47.260
-l'm back.
-Who is that?
00:35:47.530 --> 00:35:51.360
You're never going to get that big old head
in this tiny hole.
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:53.890
-Here, let me help you.
-Hold on.
00:35:53.970 --> 00:35:56.960
-l'll hold it open while you put it in.
-Okay.
00:35:57.570 --> 00:35:59.730
What is she holding open?
00:35:59.840 --> 00:36:04.040
-Push it. lt's almost in.
-What is almost in? Marcus.
00:36:06.480 --> 00:36:10.240
Marcus Anthony Copeland ll,
you better answer me right now.
00:36:11.420 --> 00:36:13.390
-lt's so tight.
-Tight?
00:36:14.590 --> 00:36:17.820
The only thing's that's going to be tight
is my foot down your throat.
00:36:17.900 --> 00:36:18.920
You better answer me!
00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:20.730
lt's a perfect fit.
00:36:24.740 --> 00:36:27.470
-l can't believe what l just heard.
-l told you.
00:36:28.470 --> 00:36:29.960
l'm exhausted.
00:36:30.640 --> 00:36:34.200
Gina. Damn. Hello? Baby?
00:36:49.590 --> 00:36:50.950
What do you think?
00:36:51.030 --> 00:36:55.630
That looks so sexy.
00:36:58.870 --> 00:37:00.470
Are you kidding?
00:37:01.110 --> 00:37:05.480
''Hi, l'm Cellulite Sally.
Look at my huge bedonkey.''
00:37:05.540 --> 00:37:08.100
''And don't forget about me.
l'm Back Fat Betty.''
00:37:08.180 --> 00:37:09.650
Now who could have said that?
00:37:09.710 --> 00:37:13.170
Yeah, it's Tina the Talking Tummy.
00:37:13.780 --> 00:37:16.210
l can't even wear a short skirt...
00:37:16.290 --> 00:37:19.750
and a top without looking like a fat pig.
00:37:20.090 --> 00:37:24.520
Calm down. l'll go see if there's something
else out there for you. Okay?
00:37:28.570 --> 00:37:32.030
Do you think Heath will love....
Do you need help?
00:37:33.670 --> 00:37:35.630
l think l need a bigger size.
00:37:35.710 --> 00:37:38.870
Honey, you never need a bigger size.
Come here.
00:37:38.940 --> 00:37:42.240
Let me show you a little trick.
Brace yourself.
00:37:43.080 --> 00:37:45.910
Suck it in. Squeeze those cheeks, sister.
00:37:46.920 --> 00:37:49.550
Suck it in. Come on. Work with me.
00:37:50.390 --> 00:37:54.020
Don't give up on me.
You can do this. Suck it in.
00:37:55.590 --> 00:37:58.110
Now that looks totally cute.
00:37:58.200 --> 00:38:00.070
My God! Are you kidding?
00:38:00.130 --> 00:38:04.530
''Hi, l'm Carnie Wilson before my
gastric bypass surgery.''
00:38:04.640 --> 00:38:07.540
Well, what about this?
This goes with your skin tone.
00:38:07.600 --> 00:38:10.730
Somebody throw Shamu back in the ocean!
00:38:11.740 --> 00:38:14.330
Okay. Let me get you something else. Okay?
00:38:15.780 --> 00:38:17.150
How's that?
00:38:17.550 --> 00:38:20.020
l can't breathe.
00:38:21.420 --> 00:38:24.020
Honey, this is just not going to work.
l'm sorry.
00:38:24.090 --> 00:38:27.220
Well, of course not.
You're wearing the wrong underwear.
00:38:29.490 --> 00:38:31.010
ls that better?
00:38:32.300 --> 00:38:34.270
l can taste the leather.
00:38:34.570 --> 00:38:38.530
Okay, you need a pair of hot shoes.
What size do you wear again?
00:38:39.540 --> 00:38:41.130
-Fourteen.
-What?
00:38:48.150 --> 00:38:50.450
Do you think you could bring us a size 10?
00:38:50.510 --> 00:38:52.070
-A what?
-A 10.
00:38:52.150 --> 00:38:53.140
lt's an open-toed slide.
00:38:53.220 --> 00:38:55.880
lt gives you two sizes in the front
and two in the back.
00:38:55.950 --> 00:38:59.650
-What about these? This one's--
-You bitch! That's so terrible.
00:38:59.720 --> 00:39:01.980
Let me go
and see if there's some help out there.
00:39:02.060 --> 00:39:04.900
Some professional help.
You need professional help. Hang on.
00:39:04.960 --> 00:39:07.860
-Okay.
-Dr. Phil!
00:39:08.270 --> 00:39:10.360
Oprah. Somebody, help me.
00:39:12.400 --> 00:39:14.760
Come on out, honey. Let's see.
00:39:17.240 --> 00:39:21.670
lt is absolutely fabulous.
lf you don't buy it, l'm buying it for myself.
00:39:23.450 --> 00:39:26.180
l don't know. Stand up straight.
00:39:33.690 --> 00:39:35.080
Turn around.
00:39:39.700 --> 00:39:41.790
Honey, just relax. Breathe.
00:39:54.240 --> 00:39:56.260
You know what? Maybe a nice dress.
00:39:58.050 --> 00:40:00.110
Okay. Who would you do?
00:40:00.580 --> 00:40:03.610
-Janet Reno or Rosie O'Donnell?
-Oh, come on.
00:40:03.690 --> 00:40:07.060
-What! Are you kidding me?
-And death is not an option.
00:40:09.530 --> 00:40:12.330
l don't know. Rosie.
00:40:12.470 --> 00:40:15.410
-You're a pig. That's disgusting.
-What are you talking about?
00:40:15.470 --> 00:40:18.500
-Rosie's all right.
-Heads up. Here they are.
00:40:20.910 --> 00:40:23.970
-Hold on. Who would you do?
-No time. We're on the job.
00:40:27.210 --> 00:40:29.900
-He's got my gun and badge.
-Go get him!
00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:33.180
Get in! Get in the car.
00:40:35.960 --> 00:40:37.760
My God, l need a cigarette!
00:40:39.690 --> 00:40:41.990
-Can you believe this?
-What do we do?
00:40:42.060 --> 00:40:44.580
We follow them.
But we can't blow our cover.
00:40:46.900 --> 00:40:49.810
-Give me back my bag.
-Oh, man.
00:40:50.770 --> 00:40:52.670
l'll rip your head off.
00:40:53.770 --> 00:40:55.400
Your ass is mine.
00:40:56.940 --> 00:40:58.960
What is this girl, a track star?
00:41:08.620 --> 00:41:11.140
You messed
with the wrong blonde today, pal.
00:41:18.360 --> 00:41:20.590
-Holy Christ.
-Now l'm pissed.
00:41:21.300 --> 00:41:23.060
l think she's bionic, dude.
00:41:30.410 --> 00:41:31.810
Holy smokes.
00:41:32.850 --> 00:41:36.790
-That was nice.
-Jeez, lady. All that for a bag?
00:41:37.480 --> 00:41:40.970
lt's not just a bag. lt's Prada.
00:41:50.760 --> 00:41:53.490
-lt was like a reality show.
-lt was so cool.
00:42:18.560 --> 00:42:21.430
-Right behind you.
-Nice going, Tori.
00:42:21.490 --> 00:42:25.320
Way to get us sat at the losers' table.
l thought you had it all hooked up.
00:42:25.400 --> 00:42:27.890
Excuse me. l do have the hook-up.
00:42:28.070 --> 00:42:30.910
Don't blame me.
Blame Little Miss Def Jam over here...
00:42:30.970 --> 00:42:33.370
who had to go, ''Yo' mama''
on the Vandergelds.
00:42:33.440 --> 00:42:34.930
We could be finished in this town.
00:42:35.010 --> 00:42:38.310
-Somebody had to stand up to those guys.
-They're the ''it'' girls.
00:42:38.380 --> 00:42:41.320
-That's the way it's always been.
-Whatever.
00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:46.670
Honey, quick. Give me a pat.
00:42:48.620 --> 00:42:50.950
No, a powder for my nose. Quick.
00:42:54.230 --> 00:42:55.430
Thanks.
00:42:58.930 --> 00:43:00.720
No, l'm just kidding.
00:43:08.110 --> 00:43:11.880
l tried to call you,
but your number changed?
00:43:13.010 --> 00:43:15.340
Yeah, l know. l changed it.
00:43:17.720 --> 00:43:20.920
Anyway, so, l was just wondering if maybe...
00:43:21.890 --> 00:43:23.480
later we could--
00:43:24.090 --> 00:43:28.520
Hello. Where have you been all night?
l've been looking all over for you.
00:43:31.360 --> 00:43:33.450
Why are you talking to her?
00:43:34.570 --> 00:43:36.540
Clean it up, coke whore.
00:43:40.940 --> 00:43:43.130
Do you have any more of that?
00:43:43.210 --> 00:43:45.240
Don't hate me because you ain't me.
00:43:45.310 --> 00:43:47.430
Can I have your attention, please?
00:43:47.510 --> 00:43:49.670
Gentlemen, get out your wallets...
00:43:49.750 --> 00:43:51.780
because you'll be bidding on a date...
00:43:51.850 --> 00:43:55.040
with some of Hamptons'
most eligible bachelorettes.
00:43:55.120 --> 00:43:57.520
First up, yours truly.
00:43:59.090 --> 00:44:01.080
Who wants to start the bidding?
00:44:04.530 --> 00:44:06.720
-$500?
-$500.
00:44:07.530 --> 00:44:09.620
Okay. Do I hear $1,000?
00:44:10.170 --> 00:44:13.200
Well, looks like we're all
on the Vandergelds' D-list.
00:44:13.340 --> 00:44:16.140
-ls this seat taken?
-Oh, no. Have a seat.
00:44:18.210 --> 00:44:22.540
Can you believe this?
They're actually auctioning off women.
00:44:23.350 --> 00:44:27.980
-Would you ever do anything like that?
-Well, it's for a good cause.
00:44:28.290 --> 00:44:31.560
Besides, being wined and dined
by a rich guy might be nice.
00:44:32.730 --> 00:44:34.930
l see, so you like rich guys?
00:44:35.090 --> 00:44:38.220
lt might be a pleasant change
from all the losers that ask me out.
00:44:38.300 --> 00:44:39.930
-$3,000.
-That's good.
00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:41.030
l see.
00:44:41.130 --> 00:44:43.560
But I think that we can do better than that.
00:44:43.640 --> 00:44:46.340
-$20,000.
-Sold.
00:44:46.970 --> 00:44:51.130
$20,000. That is a new record.
00:44:52.310 --> 00:44:53.970
That is very good.
00:44:55.150 --> 00:44:59.450
Next to be auctioned is Tiffany Wilson.
00:44:59.950 --> 00:45:02.850
-That's you.
-Me?
00:45:03.820 --> 00:45:05.790
You better do something.
00:45:06.190 --> 00:45:08.780
Excuse me, honey. l'll be right back.
00:45:15.840 --> 00:45:18.140
Who wants to start the bidding?
00:45:18.240 --> 00:45:19.270
$4.
00:45:21.440 --> 00:45:24.600
$4. Do I hear $5?
00:45:26.310 --> 00:45:28.210
$1,000.
00:45:29.320 --> 00:45:32.310
$1,000. Does anyone wish to go higher?
00:45:32.520 --> 00:45:34.460
Yeah, l got $2,000 right here.
00:45:35.620 --> 00:45:37.780
$3,000.
00:45:38.390 --> 00:45:40.080
$5,000.
00:45:40.390 --> 00:45:41.880
Who said that?
00:45:44.030 --> 00:45:47.060
$5,000 to the dirty geezer in the back.
00:45:47.130 --> 00:45:49.430
I'm sure no one will wish
to go higher than that...
00:45:49.500 --> 00:45:51.050
so we can just be done with it now.
00:45:51.140 --> 00:45:53.410
$10,000.
00:45:54.210 --> 00:45:55.440
$20,000.
00:45:56.980 --> 00:46:00.940
$20,000! Going once, going twice--
00:46:01.010 --> 00:46:05.340
$50,000. Cash!
00:46:08.490 --> 00:46:09.580
Fine.
00:46:10.790 --> 00:46:11.990
Sold...
00:46:12.460 --> 00:46:14.860
to the big black guy right there.
00:46:15.430 --> 00:46:17.590
Step right up and claim your prize.
00:46:22.230 --> 00:46:24.700
l don't want
to go on a date with Buff Daddy.
00:46:24.770 --> 00:46:26.360
Come here, baby.
00:46:33.280 --> 00:46:36.080
Dude, my feet are killing me.
00:46:37.020 --> 00:46:40.420
And on top of that, that G-string
gave me diaper rash.
00:46:40.490 --> 00:46:43.390
-How long we got to do this, man?
-Just a couple more days.
00:46:43.460 --> 00:46:46.660
l don't have a couple of more days.
Do you know who my wife is?
00:46:46.730 --> 00:46:49.720
Here, listen to this message.
She's losing her mind.
00:46:50.100 --> 00:46:52.730
...with another woman
doing what I think you're doing!
00:46:52.800 --> 00:46:54.200
You don't want to hear the rest.
00:46:54.270 --> 00:46:58.440
By the end of the weekend,
we'll be heroes and all will be forgiven.
00:46:59.170 --> 00:47:00.500
All right.
00:47:02.740 --> 00:47:04.860
-You order room service?
-No.
00:47:09.350 --> 00:47:10.680
Who is it?
00:47:15.690 --> 00:47:17.890
Damn! These girls won't quit.
00:47:19.360 --> 00:47:22.530
We'll be right there. We're coming. Hang on.
00:47:25.230 --> 00:47:26.850
-Open up!
-Open.
00:47:26.930 --> 00:47:28.190
One second.
00:47:28.270 --> 00:47:31.040
We'll be right there. Hang on.
00:47:31.300 --> 00:47:33.100
The ice cream's melting!
00:47:33.170 --> 00:47:37.230
Hold tight, girls!
We're just shaving our feet, okay?
00:47:38.380 --> 00:47:40.410
And braiding our vaginas.
00:47:50.660 --> 00:47:54.360
What, did you guys forget?
lt's your turn to host the slumber party.
00:48:00.070 --> 00:48:02.870
Okay, you guys. What does it mean...
00:48:03.170 --> 00:48:06.840
when a guy is in a really bad relationship...
00:48:07.070 --> 00:48:10.700
and it's really obvious
that he wants to be with you...
00:48:11.010 --> 00:48:13.770
but he just can't seem to break up with
his girlfriend?
00:48:13.850 --> 00:48:16.220
lt means you're a total booty call.
00:48:17.320 --> 00:48:20.150
-My God! Brittany!
-Well, you were thinking it.
00:48:20.220 --> 00:48:21.890
Well, you said it.
00:48:22.050 --> 00:48:24.710
You know,
sometimes you sound just like a man.
00:48:24.790 --> 00:48:26.450
So l've been told.
00:48:28.030 --> 00:48:30.160
What she means to say, honey...
00:48:30.230 --> 00:48:34.830
is maybe you're just making yourself
just a little bit too, like, available.
00:48:35.570 --> 00:48:37.370
Come on, you guys.
00:48:37.740 --> 00:48:40.570
Don't act like you haven't done it before.
00:48:40.740 --> 00:48:44.040
You know how it is
when you really care about someone.
00:48:44.110 --> 00:48:45.450
You call them all day long...
00:48:45.510 --> 00:48:47.910
because you just wanna know
how their day is going...
00:48:47.980 --> 00:48:52.040
and what they're thinking about
and if they're thinking about you.
00:48:53.090 --> 00:48:56.390
You spend all day trying to find
the perfect outfit.
00:48:56.490 --> 00:48:59.550
You even change your hairstyle
just so he'll take a second look.
00:48:59.630 --> 00:49:01.500
But they never notice.
00:49:01.660 --> 00:49:04.820
Sometimes l just wish
that they could trade places with us...
00:49:04.900 --> 00:49:07.560
so that they would know how it feels.
You know?
00:49:07.990 --> 00:49:09.750
-All done.
-Really?
00:49:11.000 --> 00:49:13.870
My God! This is so cool.
00:49:13.930 --> 00:49:15.190
You know something?
00:49:15.270 --> 00:49:18.040
l think you might have been black
in a previous life.
00:49:18.100 --> 00:49:20.000
Fo' shizzle, my nizzle.
00:49:21.510 --> 00:49:25.880
All right, l got another one for you.
Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson?
00:49:27.220 --> 00:49:28.210
Easy.
00:49:28.280 --> 00:49:30.970
But they both got a yeast infection.
00:49:32.420 --> 00:49:34.040
Now that's tough.
00:49:38.590 --> 00:49:42.050
-l'm going to go with Pam Anderson.
-You're disgusting.
00:49:42.460 --> 00:49:45.330
-What?
-They got a yeast infection.
00:49:46.070 --> 00:49:47.840
Who would you choose?
00:49:47.900 --> 00:49:50.760
Hey, Gomez. We got a couple of bogeys.
00:49:51.640 --> 00:49:53.640
-No time.
-Oh, come on!
00:49:54.140 --> 00:49:56.540
lt's Pam Anderson, like you care.
00:50:00.110 --> 00:50:02.130
Run their faces. Let's go.
00:50:05.890 --> 00:50:08.290
-Brittany Wilson?
-Yeah, that's me.
00:50:08.360 --> 00:50:09.850
Let's get her.
00:50:12.660 --> 00:50:16.420
-Put the blindfold on her!
-Damn, this girl's strong.
00:50:30.510 --> 00:50:32.970
-Who do you work for?
-lntimate Fantasies!
00:50:33.050 --> 00:50:34.750
My God. You need help?
00:50:34.820 --> 00:50:39.380
What are you doing?
Those are the strippers, Raoul and Tito.
00:50:39.450 --> 00:50:40.780
Strippers?
00:50:44.590 --> 00:50:48.460
-l thought they were going to kidnap me.
-That's part of their routine.
00:50:48.530 --> 00:50:52.100
Oh, my God! l am so sorry.
00:50:52.170 --> 00:50:54.640
Hotel security! ls everything all right here?
00:50:54.700 --> 00:50:58.430
Everything is fine.
Just a little case of PMS. That's all.
00:50:58.510 --> 00:51:00.950
l'm just one big, emotional wreck.
00:51:01.040 --> 00:51:04.030
Could you guys go
get me some Midol and a Snickers?
00:51:04.110 --> 00:51:06.740
-Let's get out of here.
-My ass is fat.
00:51:07.050 --> 00:51:08.750
This is Harper. lt's all clear.
00:51:15.260 --> 00:51:19.390
Okay, ladies. Let's focus.
We have to find the perfect spot.
00:51:19.960 --> 00:51:21.360
Skank alert.
00:51:29.100 --> 00:51:32.160
My God, girls.
l totally forgot my suntan lotion.
00:51:32.230 --> 00:51:35.430
l'm gonna get some suntan lotion.
l'll be right back.
00:51:35.700 --> 00:51:36.890
Hey, Russ.
00:51:43.310 --> 00:51:46.570
Hey, bro. Go long. l got a plan. Go.
00:51:55.460 --> 00:51:58.630
Hey, yo! You do that again,
l'm going to bust....
00:52:01.160 --> 00:52:03.060
l'll bust out in tears.
00:52:04.830 --> 00:52:06.990
-lnbreds!
-You're a jerk.
00:52:09.910 --> 00:52:13.400
My bad, sweetheart. Over here.
Don't hurt yourself.
00:52:13.580 --> 00:52:16.550
Don't worry, l won't.
00:52:19.250 --> 00:52:21.690
Sorry. Better lay off the spinach.
00:52:36.160 --> 00:52:38.920
Tony. Let's go hunting.
00:52:57.100 --> 00:52:59.220
What a beautiful, sunny day.
00:53:03.410 --> 00:53:05.850
Oh, my God. What happened to the sun?
00:53:07.010 --> 00:53:08.870
Easy, white chocolate.
00:53:09.850 --> 00:53:11.680
l wouldn't want you to melt.
00:53:12.680 --> 00:53:15.980
Yeah. Hasta la vista, Schwarzenegro. Bye.
00:53:25.630 --> 00:53:28.690
Hey, kids! You guys want to make $5?
00:53:29.900 --> 00:53:32.060
Okay, here's what l want you to do.
00:53:36.010 --> 00:53:39.540
Yeah, l'll take the usual.
And put it on my tab.
00:53:41.010 --> 00:53:43.570
Hey, Latrell Spencer!
Could we have your autograph?
00:53:43.650 --> 00:53:46.450
-Sure, little buddy.
-Thanks. You're the greatest.
00:53:46.520 --> 00:53:48.620
Hey, that's what l do, baby.
00:53:50.520 --> 00:53:52.350
-Sweet!
-Nice!
00:53:52.420 --> 00:53:55.320
-Hey, stay in school.
-Okay, we will!
00:53:56.530 --> 00:54:00.130
-Wow! You must be pretty good.
-l'm all right.
00:54:01.170 --> 00:54:04.900
Sometimes l feel l should be paying them
to take my autograph.
00:54:05.100 --> 00:54:07.790
l'm sorry, l didn't even get your name.
00:54:08.110 --> 00:54:12.100
Latrell. Latrell Spencer. And you are?
00:54:12.180 --> 00:54:15.710
-Denise Porter.
-Denise. Denise Porter.
00:54:16.210 --> 00:54:19.770
You know, you look so familiar.
l feel like l've seen you somewhere.
00:54:19.850 --> 00:54:24.410
No. l play pro ball.
Maybe you've seen one of my games.
00:54:24.490 --> 00:54:29.160
No. But l mean if l did, l'm sure
l would've definitely remembered you.
00:54:30.900 --> 00:54:34.100
Okay, well. Look, Denise...
00:54:34.930 --> 00:54:37.020
l don't mean to be too forward or anything...
00:54:37.100 --> 00:54:40.090
but l'm here in town,
checking out some real estate, and--
00:54:40.170 --> 00:54:41.630
Oh, whereabouts?
00:54:42.110 --> 00:54:44.670
-You know, up around over there.
-ln Montauk?
00:54:44.740 --> 00:54:47.600
-More like around--
-East Hampton.
00:54:47.680 --> 00:54:50.120
Just all over the place. lt's one big blur.
00:54:50.180 --> 00:54:52.140
One big, business blur.
00:54:52.220 --> 00:54:55.280
l kind of want to
get away from all that business and...
00:54:55.350 --> 00:54:57.840
hang out with somebody
and have a real conversation.
00:54:57.920 --> 00:55:00.750
So, l was wondering if you're not too busy...
00:55:00.830 --> 00:55:03.630
-maybe we can hang out?
-Yeah, sure.
00:55:03.900 --> 00:55:07.600
-Really? All right. Cool!
-Yeah.
00:55:11.540 --> 00:55:13.940
So, l'll pick you up at about....
00:55:19.280 --> 00:55:22.720
You know,
the jet should be here about 7:30...
00:55:22.780 --> 00:55:26.910
and the limo will take about a half-hour.
About 8:00. ls that good?
00:55:27.020 --> 00:55:30.930
-Yeah, 8:00 sounds great.
-8:00 sounds good? All right.
00:55:32.690 --> 00:55:34.450
-Goodbye.
-Take care.
00:55:37.600 --> 00:55:39.830
Hey, where's our $5?
00:55:40.100 --> 00:55:41.900
All right, calm down.
00:55:43.600 --> 00:55:46.960
Here you go. $5. $2.50 each.
00:55:47.640 --> 00:55:50.240
-You promised to give us $5 each.
-Stay in school.
00:55:50.310 --> 00:55:51.300
Cheapo.
00:55:51.710 --> 00:55:51.780
l am not making excuses.
l refuse to believe it.
00:55:51.780 --> 00:55:54.340
l am not making excuses.
l refuse to believe it.
00:55:54.410 --> 00:55:57.210
-Really?
-l don't want to believe Marcus is cheating.
00:55:57.280 --> 00:56:00.410
l don't wanna believe
Michael Jackson keeps carving up his nose.
00:56:00.490 --> 00:56:03.890
Excuse me. Your card has been declined
for insufficient funds.
00:56:03.990 --> 00:56:05.860
The rep's on the line.
00:56:06.790 --> 00:56:08.880
Yes, this is Mrs. Copeland.
00:56:10.560 --> 00:56:14.250
$4,000 dress?
And where did l buy this dress?
00:56:14.870 --> 00:56:16.340
The Hamptons!
00:56:17.500 --> 00:56:19.900
Yes, l remember.
00:56:21.140 --> 00:56:22.480
Thank you.
00:56:26.340 --> 00:56:27.600
lt is on.
00:56:32.150 --> 00:56:34.240
l don't see why l got to go out
with Mandingo and his anaconda.
00:56:34.320 --> 00:56:36.220
'Cause if you don't, you'll blow our cover.
00:56:36.290 --> 00:56:38.260
What you gonna be doing?
00:56:39.360 --> 00:56:43.060
Me? l'm going to follow up on a lead.
00:56:48.300 --> 00:56:50.160
You're going on a date.
00:56:50.240 --> 00:56:51.900
She's a reporter.
00:56:52.570 --> 00:56:56.020
Who else knows more
about the Hamptons people than her?
00:56:57.240 --> 00:57:01.000
All right, so l like the girl. You're the one
always telling me to settle down.
00:57:01.080 --> 00:57:02.380
And you should.
00:57:02.450 --> 00:57:05.620
But that don't mean
l got to go with Buffy the White Girl Slayer.
00:57:05.680 --> 00:57:08.580
All right. Look. Just go to dinner. Okay?
00:57:09.120 --> 00:57:12.550
l'm only gonna be a couple of hours
and l'll meet you back at the club.
00:57:12.620 --> 00:57:13.920
-You promise?
-l promise?
00:57:13.990 --> 00:57:15.510
l'm serious, dude. Promise.
00:57:15.590 --> 00:57:17.780
l do. l'm serious. All right.
00:57:19.470 --> 00:57:21.700
Tell Latrell if he needs a condom...
00:57:21.770 --> 00:57:24.330
there's an extra shower curtain
in the bathroom.
00:57:33.750 --> 00:57:34.940
Hop in.
00:57:37.080 --> 00:57:39.880
Take your time. Watch those marshmallows.
00:57:43.390 --> 00:57:45.260
Ease on in there, now.
00:57:46.290 --> 00:57:48.910
l won't bite unless you ask me to.
00:57:54.730 --> 00:57:56.530
You are so beautiful.
00:58:01.870 --> 00:58:03.390
Good boy, Baby.
00:58:05.110 --> 00:58:08.100
How about we listen to a little bit of music?
00:58:12.420 --> 00:58:13.820
What the....
00:58:16.150 --> 00:58:19.240
How did you know? l love this song!
00:58:20.360 --> 00:58:23.270
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
00:58:23.330 --> 00:58:25.800
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
00:58:29.370 --> 00:58:30.930
And I need you
00:58:31.870 --> 00:58:33.420
And I miss you
00:58:34.570 --> 00:58:37.400
And now I wonder
00:58:37.880 --> 00:58:42.480
If I could fall
Into the sky
00:58:42.810 --> 00:58:47.250
Do you think time
Would pass me by
00:58:47.750 --> 00:58:52.340
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
00:58:52.420 --> 00:58:56.220
If I could
Just see you
00:58:57.400 --> 00:58:58.830
Tonight
00:59:13.510 --> 00:59:16.370
-Good evening, madam. Welcome to Bella.
-Thank you.
00:59:17.080 --> 00:59:18.170
What are you doing here?
00:59:18.250 --> 00:59:20.510
l came to borrow the car
and the keys to his house.
00:59:20.590 --> 00:59:23.460
Are you crazy? lf you crash this man's car,
he will kill you.
00:59:23.520 --> 00:59:27.390
l won't crash it. Look. Just call me
before you leave. l'll bring it back.
00:59:27.460 --> 00:59:29.900
Then you meet me back at the club.
00:59:31.060 --> 00:59:33.790
No, my brother. You got to get your own.
00:59:39.040 --> 00:59:40.270
Help me.
00:59:46.710 --> 00:59:48.370
Thank you.
00:59:51.350 --> 00:59:53.400
May l bring you something from the bar?
00:59:53.490 --> 00:59:56.390
Let me have
a bottle of your best champagne.
01:00:00.590 --> 01:00:03.490
-And bring us some oysters.
-Very good, sir.
01:00:03.830 --> 01:00:06.860
l have to say, l was so....
01:00:10.100 --> 01:00:12.620
l was happy
when l bought you at the auction.
01:00:12.700 --> 01:00:16.140
l mean, it's very rare
l have the opportunity to...
01:00:16.680 --> 01:00:20.550
bask in the ambience
of such a classy lady such as yourself.
01:00:21.950 --> 01:00:23.390
Oh, my God!
01:00:23.780 --> 01:00:27.240
-l am humbled by your...
-This athlete's foot is just killing me.
01:00:27.320 --> 01:00:29.760
-...beautiful nature.
-That smell. That's infection.
01:00:29.820 --> 01:00:33.550
-The most high-classness of your....
-My God. ls that a hangnail?
01:00:35.260 --> 01:00:37.280
Captivated by your beauty.
01:00:37.730 --> 01:00:41.190
Your bountiful curves remind me
of the hills in ltaly.
01:00:46.370 --> 01:00:48.530
l'm sorry. You were saying?
01:00:50.280 --> 01:00:53.370
-That's perfect. Thank you.
-Are you ready to order?
01:00:53.450 --> 01:00:57.480
Yes, l'll have the chicken. White meat only.
01:00:59.850 --> 01:01:02.870
And for the lady, perhaps a salad?
01:01:04.090 --> 01:01:08.360
Perhaps not.
l'll have the steak, smothered in onions.
01:01:08.430 --> 01:01:11.530
A rack of ribs. Pasta with extra garlic.
01:01:11.600 --> 01:01:16.470
French fries with lots of vinegar and a
side of onion rings with lots of sauerkraut.
01:01:22.410 --> 01:01:24.440
Have you ever had oysters?
01:01:24.610 --> 01:01:27.580
Did you know oysters are an aphrodisiac?
01:01:34.620 --> 01:01:35.780
Sorry.
01:01:37.820 --> 01:01:39.790
My tongue's kind of big.
01:01:50.270 --> 01:01:52.430
lt'll open. Hold it!
01:01:52.500 --> 01:01:56.530
l'll push. Yeah. See, that did it there.
01:01:57.080 --> 01:01:58.810
Just a little turn.
01:01:59.540 --> 01:02:01.730
There's so many keys involved...
01:02:01.810 --> 01:02:04.940
sometimes it's hard to figure out
what's what.
01:02:10.320 --> 01:02:12.220
lt's Mei Ling.
01:02:13.930 --> 01:02:16.300
What are you doing here? Girl, it's late!
01:02:16.360 --> 01:02:18.820
Come on, now. You have to go home.
Get some rest.
01:02:18.900 --> 01:02:22.390
You cannot stay. There are laws
against this kind of workmanship.
01:02:22.470 --> 01:02:24.910
They'll think
l'm running some kind of sweatshop.
01:02:24.970 --> 01:02:28.700
That girl does not know when to go home.
01:02:28.770 --> 01:02:33.210
l'm telling you, she will stay here
and just clean forever.
01:02:37.150 --> 01:02:39.250
This is really nice.
01:02:39.850 --> 01:02:41.640
Yeah, this is dope.
01:02:43.090 --> 01:02:45.390
Dope summer home l picked, boy.
01:02:47.330 --> 01:02:49.030
Who's that?
01:02:51.060 --> 01:02:55.190
The big, buff, bald dude with the fur?
01:02:56.430 --> 01:02:58.260
That's my trainer.
01:02:58.700 --> 01:03:00.260
You have your trainer on your wall?
01:03:00.340 --> 01:03:04.400
Yes, well, for inspiration.
l want to look like that one day and...
01:03:04.510 --> 01:03:08.040
l come in every morning
and l look at the.... You ever see Titanic?
01:03:08.110 --> 01:03:12.100
-No, l haven't seen it.
-Me, either. You want something to drink?
01:03:12.350 --> 01:03:15.180
-Yeah, sure. A glass of wine would be nice.
-Wine.
01:03:16.620 --> 01:03:19.980
Okay, so l'll get you a glass of wine and....
01:03:20.790 --> 01:03:22.690
That'd be in the kitchen, right?
01:03:22.760 --> 01:03:25.620
l don't know. This is your house, Latrell.
01:03:25.730 --> 01:03:28.090
Who? Oh, me! Latrell.
01:03:28.330 --> 01:03:31.260
That's right. l'm Latrell. That's right.
01:03:31.670 --> 01:03:35.030
l'm going to get you
a bottle of my wine in my house.
01:03:35.510 --> 01:03:39.350
It's my house and I live here
01:03:59.970 --> 01:04:01.630
Damn, little lady!
01:04:02.230 --> 01:04:04.220
You sure can put it away.
01:04:07.370 --> 01:04:08.960
You're so funny.
01:04:11.410 --> 01:04:12.570
Voil!
01:04:16.950 --> 01:04:18.480
You have a dog.
01:04:18.820 --> 01:04:21.020
No, l don't have no damn dog.
01:04:22.890 --> 01:04:25.990
Well, then whose dog is that?
01:04:29.900 --> 01:04:30.990
Shit.
01:04:35.100 --> 01:04:36.760
That's not no dog.
01:04:37.340 --> 01:04:38.830
That's family.
01:04:40.840 --> 01:04:42.310
Hey, cousin.
01:04:47.280 --> 01:04:48.810
Come here, boy.
01:04:54.320 --> 01:04:56.260
He looks really mad! Are you okay?
01:04:56.320 --> 01:04:59.580
Yeah, l'm fine. He just misses me, that's all.
01:04:59.790 --> 01:05:03.020
Okay, boy, playtime's over. Let me up!
01:05:04.660 --> 01:05:08.060
-You want me to go for help?
-No, we're just having fun.
01:05:08.130 --> 01:05:10.220
You sure are playful today.
01:05:12.770 --> 01:05:15.060
You want to go for a walk, boy?
01:05:16.440 --> 01:05:18.170
l'll be right back!
01:05:19.280 --> 01:05:21.750
You know what?
Forget this! l'm out of here!
01:05:21.810 --> 01:05:25.770
l don't want to go on a date with a guy
and his dog is biting him and....
01:05:32.860 --> 01:05:35.260
What's he doing now? What's that?
01:05:36.390 --> 01:05:37.980
Don't pay him no mind.
01:05:38.060 --> 01:05:41.220
He's just going to do that
until he falls asleep.
01:05:43.700 --> 01:05:46.500
Now, where were we? Wine!
01:05:57.620 --> 01:06:01.780
You know,
l like a woman with a little extra something.
01:06:03.460 --> 01:06:06.660
A little cushion for the pushing.
01:06:07.590 --> 01:06:10.450
l'd really love for you
to come to one of my games.
01:06:10.530 --> 01:06:14.160
No, thank you. l've seen you play.
Not impressed.
01:06:14.400 --> 01:06:17.970
Excuse me? l'm the highest scoring forward
in the league!
01:06:19.370 --> 01:06:23.670
But all that talent? Totally overshadowed by
nothing but scandals and pure laziness.
01:06:23.740 --> 01:06:27.700
Come on! You're shooting under 50%
from the free throw line, okay?
01:06:27.780 --> 01:06:29.550
Your turnover ratio, abysmal.
01:06:29.610 --> 01:06:33.880
And on top of that, you can't shoot
three-pointers to save your life. So...
01:06:33.950 --> 01:06:35.310
squeeze me.
01:06:44.300 --> 01:06:46.890
No one's ever cared like that before.
01:06:48.730 --> 01:06:50.320
Come here, baby!
01:06:57.110 --> 01:06:58.710
Oopsie! l had a poopsie.
01:07:00.080 --> 01:07:03.420
Girl, we're going to get along just fine.
01:07:04.250 --> 01:07:05.650
Back at you!
01:07:08.990 --> 01:07:11.930
-Bask in the ambience!
-l'm going to be sick.
01:07:13.460 --> 01:07:17.400
So, no. l jump over the fence, fall.
l scrape my knee.
01:07:17.460 --> 01:07:19.690
-Get out of here.
-No, seriously, listen.
01:07:19.760 --> 01:07:24.160
l scrape my knee. l get chased by the cops
and l spend the night in jail.
01:07:24.240 --> 01:07:27.510
That's insane. You did all that
just to find J-Lo and Ben's hideaway?
01:07:27.570 --> 01:07:31.630
l can't help it. You know,
investigative journalism is my passion.
01:07:31.840 --> 01:07:35.540
So how'd you end up
writing puff pieces for the local news?
01:07:36.850 --> 01:07:39.450
Unfortunately, l made some enemies...
01:07:39.950 --> 01:07:42.470
and ended up getting fired from my last job.
01:07:42.550 --> 01:07:43.570
What happened?
01:07:43.660 --> 01:07:45.750
Believe me,
you don't want to know about that.
01:07:45.820 --> 01:07:48.810
Look, l spent all night talking about myself.
01:07:49.290 --> 01:07:52.920
Sometimes it's good for a man
to just sit back and listen.
01:07:54.100 --> 01:07:56.440
Well, since you put it that way.
01:07:59.700 --> 01:08:02.330
l did this piece on Warren Vandergeld.
01:08:02.740 --> 01:08:05.640
Him and his partners tried to swindle a guy.
01:08:05.710 --> 01:08:07.900
You talking about Ted Burton?
01:08:08.450 --> 01:08:10.210
Yeah, how did you know that?
01:08:10.280 --> 01:08:12.870
lt was in the paper. l read about it.
01:08:13.990 --> 01:08:15.980
But what they didn't report in the paper...
01:08:16.050 --> 01:08:19.080
was that Burton was 10 times smarter
than all of them.
01:08:19.160 --> 01:08:22.890
He embezzled millions
and stashed it in an offshore account.
01:08:25.360 --> 01:08:27.760
When Vandergeld heard the story
was going to break...
01:08:27.830 --> 01:08:29.920
he didn't want to be embarrassed.
01:08:30.000 --> 01:08:31.960
Well, there goes my job.
01:08:34.140 --> 01:08:36.140
You know, you're a good listener.
01:08:36.210 --> 01:08:39.310
lt seems like you have the whole package.
01:08:57.060 --> 01:08:58.110
Man!
01:09:01.700 --> 01:09:03.800
-Hello?
-Kev, you got to go.
01:09:03.870 --> 01:09:06.900
-What? Now?
-Yeah, now. We're on our way.
01:09:07.910 --> 01:09:09.940
Can't you stall him for a little while?
01:09:10.010 --> 01:09:13.510
Look, this man sang to me.
He tried to kiss me and on top of that...
01:09:13.580 --> 01:09:15.640
he been farting for the last 20 minutes.
01:09:15.710 --> 01:09:18.540
All right, l'll be there in a minute. Bye.
01:09:19.420 --> 01:09:22.520
-Cottontail!
-l'm coming, nigger!
01:09:25.960 --> 01:09:28.120
Gomez, what the hell are we looking for?
01:09:28.190 --> 01:09:31.820
l don't know. Something just isn't right
about these girls.
01:09:31.900 --> 01:09:34.100
l'm gonna check the bathroom.
01:09:44.880 --> 01:09:46.370
Find anything?
01:09:47.510 --> 01:09:49.940
No. Not yet.
01:09:59.130 --> 01:10:03.070
You won't believe what l....
What the hell are you doing?
01:10:06.600 --> 01:10:10.360
Sniffing chicks' underwear, man.
What is the big....
01:10:10.670 --> 01:10:12.160
lt's.... What?
01:10:18.010 --> 01:10:19.740
They're guys, aren't they?
01:10:20.680 --> 01:10:22.700
You really are disgusting.
01:10:38.400 --> 01:10:41.740
-Latrell, my man! What's going on, brother?
-What's up, man?
01:10:42.500 --> 01:10:45.400
-Two apple martinis.
-You hitting that, bro?
01:10:46.040 --> 01:10:48.670
-This is a tough one to crack.
-Tiffany Wilson?
01:10:48.740 --> 01:10:50.260
The ex queen?
01:10:50.810 --> 01:10:53.830
Here. Drop a couple of these babies
in her drink, man.
01:10:53.910 --> 01:10:55.710
Are you sure this will work?
01:10:55.780 --> 01:10:58.410
Man, l just took two of them,
and l'm telling you...
01:10:58.490 --> 01:11:01.190
l'm boinking someone tonight, you know?
01:11:02.160 --> 01:11:03.490
Excuse me.
01:11:10.130 --> 01:11:12.820
That's for you, my little Miracle Whip.
01:11:13.700 --> 01:11:16.320
You need to loosen up. There you go.
01:11:17.970 --> 01:11:19.230
That's for you.
01:11:19.310 --> 01:11:21.640
-Oh, my God! ls that Britney Spears?
-Where?
01:11:21.710 --> 01:11:25.210
Right over there. Forget it, she just left.
01:11:26.750 --> 01:11:28.780
Oops, she did it again.
01:11:33.690 --> 01:11:35.890
-Let's drink up.
-Let's do it.
01:11:36.760 --> 01:11:38.390
To the last drop.
01:11:44.730 --> 01:11:47.520
That's good. You want to dance?
01:11:47.730 --> 01:11:51.690
You know, that's a great idea.
Here, hold Baby. Let's go, girls.
01:12:00.810 --> 01:12:05.750
l found out some interesting information.
Ted Burton turned the tables on Vandergeld.
01:12:05.820 --> 01:12:07.520
Tucked away $100 million.
01:12:07.590 --> 01:12:10.430
Been living the high life
ever since he got out of prison.
01:12:10.490 --> 01:12:12.350
There goes our motive.
01:12:22.140 --> 01:12:24.570
Those skanks think they're hot?
01:12:26.610 --> 01:12:29.140
Let's show them what sexy really is.
01:12:55.170 --> 01:12:58.010
They want to battle. Let's go, girls.
01:13:13.620 --> 01:13:15.710
You girls want some of this?
01:13:15.790 --> 01:13:17.990
Bring it on, sisters!
01:13:18.120 --> 01:13:20.180
Okay, let's do it!
01:13:21.030 --> 01:13:23.400
Five, six, seven, eight.
01:14:27.660 --> 01:14:28.880
Come on.
01:14:32.200 --> 01:14:33.900
Hold on.
01:14:34.330 --> 01:14:37.730
l know you hookers
don't think this is over with.
01:14:38.770 --> 01:14:40.760
Let's kick it old school.
01:15:05.000 --> 01:15:06.330
They suck!
01:15:39.330 --> 01:15:40.850
Oh, my God!
01:15:50.280 --> 01:15:51.580
We won!
01:16:02.460 --> 01:16:04.120
Come on, let's go.
01:16:05.560 --> 01:16:07.660
Get out of my way! Move it!
01:16:09.400 --> 01:16:10.920
l need a drink.
01:16:16.700 --> 01:16:19.500
Hey, Latrell, my man.
01:16:21.270 --> 01:16:23.100
So did it work, man?
01:16:24.810 --> 01:16:26.300
l don't know.
01:16:27.410 --> 01:16:29.140
But l got to dance.
01:16:29.920 --> 01:16:31.580
l got to hit this.
01:16:34.290 --> 01:16:35.760
Hold the dog.
01:16:41.290 --> 01:16:42.650
Let it out.
01:16:43.060 --> 01:16:44.990
Oh, yeah. Now it's out.
01:16:46.170 --> 01:16:48.800
l paid thousands of dollars on this outfit...
01:16:48.870 --> 01:16:51.310
and do you think he even noticed?
01:16:51.370 --> 01:16:52.530
lt's going to be okay.
01:16:52.610 --> 01:16:54.940
Little Miss Vandergeld walks in...
01:16:55.010 --> 01:16:58.070
and he just forgets all about me.
01:16:59.650 --> 01:17:01.920
Okay, let it out.
01:17:03.580 --> 01:17:04.940
l wonder...
01:17:06.550 --> 01:17:09.040
if he would think she was so hot...
01:17:09.560 --> 01:17:13.860
if he knew that she is broke.
01:17:14.960 --> 01:17:16.690
Vandergeld's broke?
01:17:19.630 --> 01:17:22.530
We mustn't talk of such things.
01:17:22.640 --> 01:17:24.110
No, we won't.
01:17:24.800 --> 01:17:27.670
But, yes, they're broke.
01:17:29.880 --> 01:17:34.340
My father even had to
loan her father money...
01:17:34.480 --> 01:17:37.270
just so that they could keep their house.
01:17:37.420 --> 01:17:40.020
They just paid us back.
01:17:41.390 --> 01:17:44.620
-You guys, l love you guys.
-We love you, too.
01:17:44.690 --> 01:17:46.420
l love you so much!
01:17:47.790 --> 01:17:49.120
Thank you.
01:17:49.200 --> 01:17:52.000
Can we get you some gum
or a mint or something?
01:17:53.000 --> 01:17:54.630
Hey, little girl.
01:17:59.170 --> 01:18:02.260
Really? l love you, too.
01:18:06.250 --> 01:18:09.050
What the hell are you doing? Give me her!
01:18:10.650 --> 01:18:13.110
Sicko. Where's Latrell?
01:18:13.890 --> 01:18:15.290
Dance floor.
01:18:52.640 --> 01:18:54.610
Good morning, snowflake.
01:19:02.820 --> 01:19:04.290
Oh, my God. Brittany!
01:19:05.450 --> 01:19:07.740
-What?
-We're on page six.
01:19:07.990 --> 01:19:09.790
-No.
-Yeah.
01:19:10.190 --> 01:19:13.790
Look. ''Wilson sisters rock Hamptons.''
01:19:17.260 --> 01:19:20.020
-Wilsons rock!
-We rocked!
01:19:22.100 --> 01:19:26.090
Wait. We weren't in the Hamptons
this weekend.
01:19:27.270 --> 01:19:31.530
No! We've been cloned!
01:19:36.120 --> 01:19:38.710
He's got to be around here somewhere.
01:19:38.850 --> 01:19:42.110
Girl, wait a minute.
lsn't that Marcus right there?
01:19:42.760 --> 01:19:46.490
-That's him, all right. Old lying dog!
-Caught you.
01:19:49.130 --> 01:19:51.030
That sounds like Gina.
01:19:52.060 --> 01:19:54.290
-Don't answer it. She'll go away.
-No, she won't.
01:19:54.370 --> 01:19:57.360
l'm not going anywhere
until you open this door!
01:19:57.440 --> 01:20:01.040
-l told you! What am l going to do?
-Just get rid of her.
01:20:01.640 --> 01:20:04.370
l'll get rid of her. You hide the stuff.
01:20:06.550 --> 01:20:10.210
-l'm not playing with you!
-Coming, baby!
01:20:10.550 --> 01:20:12.450
What is all that noise?
01:20:12.690 --> 01:20:14.990
Nothing! Okay, baby, l'm coming!
01:20:19.590 --> 01:20:21.710
l'm coming. Hide.
01:20:25.460 --> 01:20:28.690
Hey, baby! Hi, boo-boo.
01:20:33.440 --> 01:20:36.740
-Nice room you got, Marcus.
-Hey, baby, what you doing here?
01:20:36.810 --> 01:20:39.180
-l could ask you the same question.
-Me?
01:20:39.880 --> 01:20:41.550
l'm on assignment.
01:20:42.250 --> 01:20:44.240
Are you wearing lipstick?
01:20:45.450 --> 01:20:47.640
No. That's Kool-Aid. You want some?
01:20:47.720 --> 01:20:51.150
You know, it's filled with lots of
vitamin C and riboflavin.
01:20:51.220 --> 01:20:52.710
ls that a bra?
01:20:53.630 --> 01:20:54.890
No, this?
01:20:55.260 --> 01:20:59.120
This is the new holsters
they gave us at work.
01:20:59.200 --> 01:21:02.700
They're government issue.
You can put two guns in there and just....
01:21:02.770 --> 01:21:04.260
''Freeze, FBl!''
01:21:04.940 --> 01:21:07.910
-l know somebody's in here.
-Baby, nobody's in here.
01:21:07.970 --> 01:21:10.840
See? Nobody's in here.
01:21:12.140 --> 01:21:15.110
-Check under the bed--
-What do you mean, ''Check under the bed''?
01:21:15.180 --> 01:21:18.340
-l heard somebody on the phone.
-Check under the bed!
01:21:18.420 --> 01:21:21.720
-That's where everybody hides! Check it!
-Marcus! Nobody can fit!
01:21:21.790 --> 01:21:23.920
See, nobody here, right? Nobody there.
01:21:23.990 --> 01:21:27.580
-l'll look in the bathroom.
-Wait! No! Don't check the bathroom!
01:21:29.530 --> 01:21:31.930
You don't want me to check the bathroom!
01:21:34.430 --> 01:21:37.860
See? Nothing in the bathroom.
Nobody in the room. See?
01:21:38.240 --> 01:21:40.570
l told you no one was here. See?
01:21:42.070 --> 01:21:44.230
You know, baby, this gotta stop!
01:21:44.340 --> 01:21:47.240
-We can't have love if we don't have trust.
-l know, but look.
01:21:47.310 --> 01:21:49.940
l was at the restaurant and the card
wouldn't go through--
01:21:50.020 --> 01:21:54.050
Listen. lf we don't have trust,
we don't have nothing.
01:21:54.490 --> 01:21:56.890
This is not about trust. This is about--
01:21:59.460 --> 01:22:01.490
There she is, right there!
01:22:06.530 --> 01:22:08.720
Now, baby. l can explain.
01:22:09.600 --> 01:22:11.900
-l knew it.
-Baby, it's not what you think.
01:22:11.970 --> 01:22:15.370
-Baby, it's not what you think.
-Don't you even say nothing to me!
01:22:15.880 --> 01:22:18.870
l can explain. Baby, it's not what you think.
01:22:20.150 --> 01:22:21.520
He's a man!
01:22:21.850 --> 01:22:23.250
You're sick!
01:22:26.450 --> 01:22:30.010
We have to find them and stop them
before they execute their evil plan.
01:22:30.090 --> 01:22:32.580
-Wait, what do they look like?
-Duh, us!
01:22:32.660 --> 01:22:34.750
Afternoon, ladies.
01:22:34.860 --> 01:22:37.090
The Chief would like
to have a word with you.
01:22:37.160 --> 01:22:40.060
My God, Tiffany. They're the Men in Black.
01:22:40.760 --> 01:22:41.780
Come on.
01:22:42.200 --> 01:22:45.330
-Easy, Ponch and Jon. My hair!
-Let's move it along, pal.
01:22:45.400 --> 01:22:46.990
-Wait a minute!
-Let's go!
01:22:47.070 --> 01:22:51.560
Chief, we just got confirmation
that Burton's arrived at JFK.
01:22:51.780 --> 01:22:55.680
l want him trailed. Give him plenty of room.
l don't want anyone jumping the gun.
01:22:55.750 --> 01:22:57.880
l want to get this guy red-handed.
01:22:58.180 --> 01:23:00.670
-Get your hands off of me!
-Let's go.
01:23:01.180 --> 01:23:03.310
-Hey, easy!
-Right this way, girls.
01:23:04.760 --> 01:23:07.420
What the hell you guys doing
with the Wilson sisters?
01:23:07.490 --> 01:23:11.350
-Chief, these aren't the Wilson sisters.
-No, sir.
01:23:12.200 --> 01:23:14.360
Chief, check this out.
01:23:16.730 --> 01:23:18.390
My God! What are you doing?
01:23:18.470 --> 01:23:21.100
-That's on there pretty good.
-Let her go.
01:23:21.170 --> 01:23:23.070
That's nothing, Chief.
01:23:24.840 --> 01:23:26.300
How about....
01:23:30.180 --> 01:23:33.080
-Those are nice.
-That's enough!
01:23:34.220 --> 01:23:36.750
l don't know how he did that...
01:23:37.120 --> 01:23:39.240
but you can't fake these.
01:23:53.500 --> 01:23:57.730
My God! Look who's here.
lt's that beautiful--
01:23:57.810 --> 01:23:59.040
Save it!
01:24:00.980 --> 01:24:03.970
Because of you, l had to suspend
two of my best agents!
01:24:04.050 --> 01:24:07.150
-Chief, l can explain.
-l don't want to hear it!
01:24:07.250 --> 01:24:10.010
You're just lucky we caught Burton
before he could strike.
01:24:10.090 --> 01:24:12.250
But Burton is not our guy!
01:24:12.560 --> 01:24:14.890
Let me guess: Women's intuition?
01:24:15.790 --> 01:24:16.910
You're both fired.
01:24:16.990 --> 01:24:19.650
Turn in your guns and your badges.
This operation is over!
01:24:19.730 --> 01:24:22.830
-Come on, Chief! You can't fire us.
-l just did.
01:24:26.600 --> 01:24:29.070
Forget him, Marcus. We can do this ourself.
01:24:29.140 --> 01:24:31.640
-Look, all we got to do is--
-Wait.
01:24:32.380 --> 01:24:34.870
''We''? Kevin, this ain't about ''we.''
01:24:35.410 --> 01:24:37.600
lt's never been. lt's about you.
01:24:37.680 --> 01:24:41.170
You come up with some stupid idea
and l'm dumb enough to go along with it.
01:24:41.250 --> 01:24:43.080
And look where it's gotten me, Kevin.
01:24:43.150 --> 01:24:46.140
l just lost my wife and my job
because of you.
01:24:46.220 --> 01:24:49.280
So don't tell me about ''we'' no more,
all right?
01:24:51.500 --> 01:24:54.130
They bought it. The FBl is packing up.
01:24:54.630 --> 01:24:57.600
They'll be out of our hair in a couple hours.
01:24:57.670 --> 01:24:59.970
We could make the grab tonight.
01:25:00.070 --> 01:25:03.260
You sure you and your friend
can get the job done?
01:25:05.840 --> 01:25:07.960
Would l let you down, Mr. V?
01:25:12.920 --> 01:25:16.910
-Hey, man. l just want to say sorry.
-Forget about it, dude.
01:25:16.990 --> 01:25:21.260
No. You're right. You're absolutely right.
l've been selfish.
01:25:21.320 --> 01:25:26.150
l'm always dragging you into everything.
l never even asked what you want to do.
01:25:26.560 --> 01:25:30.150
l don't know, there's something about
always having you around, that just...
01:25:30.230 --> 01:25:32.630
makes me want to step up my game.
01:25:32.870 --> 01:25:36.670
l guess it's because l always know
you're gonna have my back.
01:25:40.180 --> 01:25:41.340
Hello?
01:25:43.010 --> 01:25:44.200
Thanks.
01:25:46.920 --> 01:25:48.820
-Who was that?
-That was Josh.
01:25:48.890 --> 01:25:52.850
Turns out that Vandergeld's prints
was all over the ransom note.
01:25:53.960 --> 01:25:55.860
-What are you doing?
-Calling the Chief.
01:25:55.930 --> 01:25:59.130
No, you ain't! You said we could do this
on our own, right?
01:25:59.200 --> 01:26:00.670
What about backup?
01:26:00.730 --> 01:26:03.720
l got you, you got me.
That's all the backup we need.
01:26:03.800 --> 01:26:05.920
Triple T-K-A.
01:26:06.300 --> 01:26:09.500
Time to totally kick ass!
01:26:17.250 --> 01:26:21.590
Three generations at the Bureau
and l'm the first to get fired.
01:26:22.290 --> 01:26:24.380
My dad is going to kill me!
01:26:25.520 --> 01:26:27.350
Yeah? What? Who?
01:26:29.360 --> 01:26:32.860
-Copeland!
-Copeland, you dick!
01:26:33.400 --> 01:26:35.890
You've got a lot of nerve, calling.
01:26:36.000 --> 01:26:37.160
Where?
01:26:39.370 --> 01:26:42.430
-You better not be wrong about this.
-What?
01:26:42.510 --> 01:26:45.670
-We might be getting our jobs back.
-What are you talking about?
01:26:45.740 --> 01:26:48.540
-We gotta go.
-What do you mean, go?
01:26:48.880 --> 01:26:51.680
How about this?
RuPaul or Whoopi Goldberg?
01:26:52.920 --> 01:26:55.410
-l told you, l'm not playing your games.
-Come on!
01:27:13.400 --> 01:27:15.920
-Any sign of Vandergeld?
-l don't see him.
01:27:16.010 --> 01:27:18.070
All right, keep an eye out for him.
01:27:18.140 --> 01:27:20.330
lf it's going down,
it's going to go down here.
01:27:20.410 --> 01:27:22.970
Thank God! There you are! l did it.
01:27:23.280 --> 01:27:26.740
-You did what?
-l got you into the fashion show!
01:27:27.450 --> 01:27:32.080
Brittany, did you hear that?
We're in the fashion show.
01:27:32.490 --> 01:27:35.120
Not if we don't get moving.
Come on, let's go!
01:27:35.190 --> 01:27:39.250
-Get the lead out, ladies.
-l mean, it's like you forgot.
01:27:42.030 --> 01:27:44.520
-You mean the Wilson sisters are in?
-And we're out?
01:27:44.600 --> 01:27:48.900
l'm sorry. That's just the way it is.
They're hot, you're not! So deal with it.
01:27:48.970 --> 01:27:51.830
-You! Straighten up that blouse, now!
-That's impossible!
01:27:51.910 --> 01:27:55.820
We've been on that catwalk every summer
for six years straight!
01:27:56.210 --> 01:27:58.330
Let's just cut to the chase.
01:27:58.750 --> 01:28:02.810
Who do we have to sleep with
for us to get in the show?
01:28:03.190 --> 01:28:06.460
Honey, you're so
barking up the wrong tree right now. Really!
01:28:06.520 --> 01:28:09.450
lf you nail this, you're a shoo-in
for the cover of Hamptons.
01:28:09.530 --> 01:28:11.970
Darlings! Where have you been?
01:28:12.930 --> 01:28:14.400
Megan! Don't!
01:28:15.070 --> 01:28:16.870
This is unacceptable.
01:28:17.570 --> 01:28:20.200
They just messed with the wrong girls!
01:28:21.170 --> 01:28:23.160
l've been looking everywhere for you.
01:28:23.240 --> 01:28:27.200
Can we get the Wilson sisters
their outfits now, please? Go.
01:28:32.150 --> 01:28:34.750
-Can we talk?
-Of course.
01:28:35.890 --> 01:28:38.220
You were incredible at the nightclub
last night.
01:28:38.290 --> 01:28:40.450
-Thank you. Thanks.
-lncredible.
01:28:40.520 --> 01:28:44.220
And Heather will be leaving after the party
tonight, and l was thinking...
01:28:44.290 --> 01:28:47.350
maybe you could come by around 2:00?
01:28:48.570 --> 01:28:50.300
Make that 3:00 a.m.
01:28:58.610 --> 01:29:00.100
You know what?
01:29:01.340 --> 01:29:02.970
l don't think so.
01:29:03.150 --> 01:29:04.480
Excuse me?
01:29:04.850 --> 01:29:07.190
You think l'm just a booty call.
01:29:07.880 --> 01:29:09.370
Well, l'm not.
01:29:10.920 --> 01:29:13.010
l deserve better than that.
01:29:14.160 --> 01:29:16.490
l'm tired of being your doormat.
01:29:21.900 --> 01:29:23.130
Honey...
01:29:24.470 --> 01:29:27.270
what makes you think you're that special?
01:29:30.570 --> 01:29:32.700
-Bastard.
-Excuse me.
01:29:33.740 --> 01:29:34.970
Asswipe!
01:29:42.350 --> 01:29:45.280
-You're going to regret that.
-l'm so scared.
01:29:46.460 --> 01:29:48.520
Oh, my God! Tiffany!
01:29:49.860 --> 01:29:53.800
-Thank you so much, honey.
-l am so proud of you.
01:29:53.930 --> 01:29:57.090
Thanks. l just wish l didn't feel so crappy.
01:29:57.930 --> 01:29:59.120
Honey.
01:29:59.870 --> 01:30:03.170
Sometimes a man can't see
when he has someone so special...
01:30:03.240 --> 01:30:05.470
sitting right in front of him.
01:30:06.140 --> 01:30:08.630
Are you, like, a lesbian?
01:30:12.380 --> 01:30:14.710
-l better go get changed.
-Okay.
01:30:15.950 --> 01:30:19.080
Ladies and gentlemen,
this evening we are proud to present...
01:30:19.160 --> 01:30:23.360
the fall couture line, Aubrey Allure.
Please take your seats.
01:30:25.030 --> 01:30:26.930
-Excuse me?
-You're not on the list.
01:30:27.000 --> 01:30:30.160
lnvitation, my ass!
They don't know how we do it.
01:30:31.130 --> 01:30:33.320
-Let's just blend.
-All right.
01:30:52.120 --> 01:30:54.240
Go! Get going! Move it!
01:31:01.100 --> 01:31:03.730
Didn't we just have this conversation?
01:31:04.300 --> 01:31:07.230
Can we get these fantastic supermodels...
01:31:07.300 --> 01:31:10.270
-back into their dressing rooms?
-l can't believe it!
01:31:44.940 --> 01:31:47.370
-They changed that quick!
-Amazing!
01:31:56.650 --> 01:31:59.480
These ought to get the critics' attention.
01:32:33.060 --> 01:32:36.120
Second changes, everybody! Go! Now!
01:32:37.130 --> 01:32:39.430
This'll be a nice little treat.
01:33:04.420 --> 01:33:06.140
My God! What's happening?
01:33:07.720 --> 01:33:09.310
That's not mine!
01:33:10.190 --> 01:33:11.780
Let's get out of here!
01:33:12.060 --> 01:33:13.320
l'm sorry!
01:33:19.400 --> 01:33:22.030
Just give me your hand. lt'll be okay.
01:33:25.340 --> 01:33:27.330
l'm so sorry. Oh!
01:33:28.380 --> 01:33:30.180
Come here! l got you!
01:33:32.650 --> 01:33:34.180
Here we go. Up!
01:33:37.050 --> 01:33:38.780
-My God!
-l hope she's okay.
01:33:38.860 --> 01:33:40.230
l'm ruined.
01:33:45.090 --> 01:33:49.250
Looks like some people just don't know
when to quit. Come on, girls.
01:33:50.830 --> 01:33:52.920
-Help me.
-l got you.
01:33:57.710 --> 01:33:59.870
Karen, what are you doing?
01:33:59.940 --> 01:34:03.870
Look, someone has got to give those girls
a taste of their own medicine.
01:34:24.430 --> 01:34:28.460
So revolutionary! lt's so bold and so....
01:34:29.410 --> 01:34:30.880
So brilliant!
01:34:56.030 --> 01:34:58.460
Everybody, they're imposters!
01:35:02.940 --> 01:35:04.470
Hit the lights.
01:35:29.230 --> 01:35:30.850
Where's Brittany?
01:35:35.770 --> 01:35:37.260
Where are you?
01:35:53.620 --> 01:35:54.880
Get down!
01:36:01.430 --> 01:36:04.120
l told you you were going to regret it.
01:36:04.270 --> 01:36:07.370
You hit like a bitch! Come on.
01:36:08.870 --> 01:36:11.660
You run and l'll shoot you. Come on.
01:36:25.090 --> 01:36:27.250
-My turn.
-Mama?
01:36:29.930 --> 01:36:32.090
Girl, we going to need some backup.
01:36:33.900 --> 01:36:35.390
Girl, call NayNay and LaQuanda.
01:36:35.460 --> 01:36:37.980
Tell them to bring the Vaseline
and the straight razors.
01:36:38.070 --> 01:36:39.660
These bitches are on some other shit!
01:36:39.740 --> 01:36:41.330
What's going on?
01:36:41.740 --> 01:36:44.610
-Don't touch my dress!
-Vandergeld's got Tiffany!
01:36:44.670 --> 01:36:48.110
What? No one messes with my queen!
01:36:48.240 --> 01:36:50.040
Marcus! Are you okay?
01:36:50.610 --> 01:36:52.340
-No.
-What's wrong?
01:36:52.950 --> 01:36:55.480
These damn G-strings are killing me!
01:36:59.060 --> 01:37:01.150
-Freeze!
-FBl.
01:37:02.890 --> 01:37:05.690
You guys take care of them.
We're going after Vandergeld.
01:37:05.760 --> 01:37:08.280
Copeland! You're going to need this.
01:37:09.830 --> 01:37:11.490
Come on, let's go.
01:37:13.570 --> 01:37:15.170
FBl! Freeze!
01:37:18.070 --> 01:37:19.700
Daddy, what are you doing?
01:37:19.780 --> 01:37:23.050
Why don't you take your mother
and your sister and go on home?
01:37:23.110 --> 01:37:25.340
Daddy, why are you doing this?
01:37:25.410 --> 01:37:27.900
Daddy didn't tell you? He's broke.
01:37:27.980 --> 01:37:29.810
What do you mean, broke?
01:37:29.890 --> 01:37:32.830
Like Martha Stewart broke
or MC Hammer broke?
01:37:33.160 --> 01:37:35.920
-MC Hammer broke!
-No!
01:37:36.330 --> 01:37:41.130
l've been funneling money out of the charity
into a private account, just to get us by!
01:37:43.830 --> 01:37:45.800
Are you filming this?
01:37:47.070 --> 01:37:49.470
l'll give you something to shoot!
01:37:51.370 --> 01:37:53.890
-Get out of my way!
-l can't do that.
01:37:58.650 --> 01:37:59.880
Drop it!
01:38:04.550 --> 01:38:07.570
l got you, man. Man, we'll get that stain out.
Don't even worry.
01:38:07.660 --> 01:38:09.030
Don't move!
01:38:09.590 --> 01:38:12.320
Warren Vandergeld, you are under arrest!
01:38:14.500 --> 01:38:18.770
l just want to tell you, l appreciate
what you did. That was real brave of you.
01:38:18.830 --> 01:38:23.770
l had no choice. l couldn't let them take
my one true love away.
01:38:25.710 --> 01:38:28.840
Hey, dude. l'm not what you think l am.
01:38:30.550 --> 01:38:34.180
Baby, we all got secrets. That's okay.
01:38:40.660 --> 01:38:45.330
Are you telling me that you are not....
01:38:45.430 --> 01:38:47.660
-Yeah. l'm not a woman.
-White?
01:38:48.460 --> 01:38:52.190
The deception! The betrayal, man!
You deceived me!
01:38:52.270 --> 01:38:54.760
Calm down. l'm an FBl agent.
l was uncovering a--
01:38:54.840 --> 01:38:56.330
Negro, please!
01:38:57.210 --> 01:39:00.310
Didn't somebody tell you
this was an all-white party?
01:39:00.380 --> 01:39:03.010
Someone get this jigaboo away from me!
01:39:03.250 --> 01:39:04.720
Are you okay?
01:39:05.050 --> 01:39:07.250
Yes, l'm fine. Thank you.
01:39:07.620 --> 01:39:10.680
So, do l get to see my knight
in shining armor?
01:39:11.050 --> 01:39:12.810
-Well....
-Get a leg!
01:39:14.290 --> 01:39:15.650
Get off me!
01:39:15.830 --> 01:39:18.090
What do you mean?
l'm going to let you have it!
01:39:18.160 --> 01:39:20.320
-You ain't never met nobody like me!
-lt's me!
01:39:20.400 --> 01:39:23.390
You don't know who you messing with!
My name's Gina!
01:39:23.470 --> 01:39:24.700
lt's me.
01:39:32.270 --> 01:39:34.760
This is some Jerry Springer shit!
01:39:37.180 --> 01:39:41.880
Once again, you guys managed to do
everything l told you not to do.
01:39:42.590 --> 01:39:45.990
You caused over $250,000 worth of damage.
01:39:46.260 --> 01:39:48.060
Two people were shot.
01:39:49.630 --> 01:39:53.430
But at least you got the right guy.
01:39:53.800 --> 01:39:56.170
-Good work.
-Thanks a lot, Chief.
01:39:56.230 --> 01:39:58.750
But we couldn't have done it
without Gomez and Harper.
01:39:58.830 --> 01:40:02.130
All right,
l'll see you all in the office tomorrow.
01:40:03.270 --> 01:40:04.860
Good work, guys.
01:40:06.340 --> 01:40:09.310
Who will be featured
on the cover of Hamptons Magazine?
01:40:09.380 --> 01:40:11.980
l have to take care of some business.
01:40:12.180 --> 01:40:14.040
See you guys on Monday.
01:40:14.120 --> 01:40:17.490
So, who do you think wore those panties
you were sniffing?
01:40:17.550 --> 01:40:19.140
Kevin or Marcus?
01:40:19.390 --> 01:40:22.890
-Gomez, l told you. l was looking for DNA.
-Oh, yeah.
01:40:24.430 --> 01:40:26.830
What are you laughing at, ''Denzel''?
01:40:26.900 --> 01:40:29.500
''Oh, what a beautiful chocolate man!''
01:40:31.430 --> 01:40:32.990
You guys got some work to do?
01:40:33.070 --> 01:40:35.300
l'm Denise Porter. Good night.
01:40:41.610 --> 01:40:44.840
l'm Kevin Copeland. l'm an FBl agent.
01:40:45.950 --> 01:40:48.440
l make $30,000 a year after taxes.
01:40:49.290 --> 01:40:52.990
l don't drive a Bentley
and l don't have a house on a hill.
01:40:53.490 --> 01:40:56.050
But l'd really like to take you out.
01:40:57.130 --> 01:41:00.260
Are you kidding me? Any man...
01:41:02.430 --> 01:41:05.420
who would jump in front of a bullet for me...
01:41:06.340 --> 01:41:08.740
can definitely take me on a date.
01:41:14.080 --> 01:41:16.550
-Come on, girl, let's go.
-Wait, could l just please--
01:41:16.610 --> 01:41:20.630
-l have nothing more to say to you.
-l know. Just listen to me, please.
01:41:20.750 --> 01:41:22.620
Gina, l lied to you.
01:41:23.420 --> 01:41:25.420
l've hid things from you.
01:41:25.690 --> 01:41:29.220
But l have never cheated on you.
But l am guilty.
01:41:30.460 --> 01:41:33.920
l'm guilty of paying more attention
to my job than l do my wife.
01:41:34.000 --> 01:41:37.370
l'm guilty of not appreciating
all the little things you do for me.
01:41:37.430 --> 01:41:39.560
Like getting your hair done.
01:41:40.570 --> 01:41:44.200
Wearing that sweet-smelling Chanel
cologne l love so much.
01:41:44.340 --> 01:41:49.200
But my biggest crime is that
l didn't tell you l loved you every single day.
01:41:50.510 --> 01:41:54.340
-You're not going to let him off that easy.
-Will you shut up?
01:41:58.490 --> 01:41:59.860
l love you.
01:42:07.230 --> 01:42:08.390
A wheelchair?
01:42:08.460 --> 01:42:11.660
Yes, but the feeling will come back,
l promise.
01:42:11.870 --> 01:42:14.810
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
01:42:14.870 --> 01:42:16.960
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
01:42:17.040 --> 01:42:18.510
Backup, Tony.
01:42:19.610 --> 01:42:21.270
Hey, girls.
01:42:25.380 --> 01:42:29.680
So you guys were pretending to be them
the entire time?
01:42:29.750 --> 01:42:32.650
Yes, we were.
But we was only doing our job.
01:42:33.190 --> 01:42:35.660
l hope you guys aren't too pissed off at us.
01:42:35.720 --> 01:42:37.310
We're so bummed!
01:42:39.560 --> 01:42:42.080
We liked Brittany and Tiffany...
01:42:42.200 --> 01:42:44.800
so much more when you were them.
01:42:45.800 --> 01:42:47.530
So much more!
01:42:48.640 --> 01:42:52.010
So l guess this means
we won't be hanging out any more?
01:42:52.070 --> 01:42:54.940
Don't say that. Of course, we will hang out.
01:42:55.010 --> 01:42:57.740
Oh, yeah. We'll all get together
and we're gonna go...
01:42:57.810 --> 01:43:00.240
shopping!
01:43:00.264 --> 01:43:20.264
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