WEBVTT
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..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::..
.:: www.bolboljan.net ::.
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You can throw a fast one.
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How about it, kitten?
What's the chance of a bit tonight?
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Oh, why, yes, of course, boys.
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I'll leave the front door open,
and you can all troop in and give me a jab.
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Not up to it, then?
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You innocent, shovel-wielding,
horny-handed sons of the native sod.
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Not many people are, munchkin.
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Not many people can take the tale
of Patrick Braden...
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a.k.a. Saint Kitten...
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who strutted the catwalks,
face lit by a halo of flashbulbs...
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as, "Oh!" she shrieked,
"I told you, from my best side, darlings."
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I was born, you see, munchkin...
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in a small town near the Irish border.
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I was left in a basket on a certain doorstep...
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and only the robins knew why.
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Oh, but then,
they knew everybody's business.
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Those red-breasted busybodies.
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Every secret
behind every lace-curtain window.
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Robins! Would you believe it, Father?
Pecking at the cream.
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I suppose it's Christmas morning, after all.
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Is your breakfast all right?
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Well, I'll get ready for Mass, so. God bless.
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God bless.
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He hasn't been himself lately, so.
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-Just the job.
-Mr. Steed?
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-Cutex coral pink.
-Yes.
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What a charming atmosphere you have here.
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-Do you mind?
-Not at all.
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-Thank you.
-Will you have a love seat?
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The love seat? Why not?
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Mr. Lovejoy will see you in a moment.
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He's just congratulating
one of our happy couples.
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-How very encouraging.
-Yes.
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Perhaps you'd like a glass of champers?
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-Champers? Now you're talking.
-Or...
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-a piece of wedding cake?
-No, thank you. I've just had breakfast.
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Mr. Steed?
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My good shoes!
My good shoes, you little brat!
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Do it harder, Mammy.
Teach him not to wear my dress again.
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He'll make a disgrace of us? Well, you'll not!
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Do you really have to?
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I'll march you up and down the street
and disgrace you in front of the whole town.
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Promise?
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Hit him with it, Ma!
Give him the brush again!
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-Say, "I am not a girl."
-I'm not a girl.
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-"I am a boy. I'm not a girl."
-I'm a boy, not a girl.
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Say it right.
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Make him say it right, Ma.
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My heart broke
from the cursed day I ever took you in.
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A short one by Gareth Carey,
up along the far wing to Tony Haddon.
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Tony Haddon, 40 yards out now, from the....
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Off he goes then,
the ball across him towards the center.
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And coming, Alfred Whitney.
He's capped there.
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Well down over his eyes is Nick Brady.
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The ball comes over.
Who's got it? Reid Morgan.
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Reid Morgan gets the 35-yard....
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Brother Barnabas says he'll try you
on the football team...
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and I want you to read this.
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Heading high and to the right,
and yes, it is....
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It's gone over the bar
for the first goal of the game.
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Paddy Gardy.
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The first goal of the game.
Paddy Gardy took one from this side.
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It had a curl on it, and one had to wait
until the umpires gave their decision...
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as to whether it was in or not. It was.
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And I call my mother names.
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Well, you know,
you shouldn't do that, my son.
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What do you call her?
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Hairy Arse.
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Hairy Arse and Bockedy Hole.
And Cunthooks.
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-Stay where you are! You must not proceed.
-Jesus!
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You must not curse.
If you curse, you'll be exterminated.
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Holy fuck!
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You've been warned, earthling.
Now you must die!
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No, Dalek, please.
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-Sausages, sausages, stay where you are.
-Yes, yes, of course! Please don't shoot!
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-Lawrence, come on.
-Not now, I'm busy. I'm busy.
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-Come on.
-I'm busy.
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Oh, figgly boogles, I'm dead.
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Die for Ireland?
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I'm sorry, but it appeared to me...
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that someone here
had taken leave of their senses.
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Are you playing the game or not, Braden?
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Me play! Dying for Ireland.
Earthling, stay where you are!
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Well, come on, Englishman, a bullet, please.
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And next up is the dashing Feely...
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sporting a smoking jacket,
fedora hat, and sunglasses by Gucci.
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Madam.
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The man himself.
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-Your mother will be back in a while.
-Oh.
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So how's Patrick
and the Braden household?
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They're well, Mr. Feely.
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Especially my mother, wherever she is.
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So someone's told you something, Patrick?
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They don't have to.
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Hairy Arse Braden tells me every day.
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Patrick, now....
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I'm sorry, Mr. Feely.
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You know, I saw her once,
your real mother...
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long after the day she left.
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It was in London.
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I was doing work for Genie McQuillan.
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I was going home through Piccadilly...
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and there, passing by, was Eily Bergin.
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Lovely as the day she left, I swear it to God.
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Did you talk to her, Mr. Feely?
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What did she say?
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I shouted after her, Patrick,
but she didn't hear.
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London swallowed her up.
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The most beautiful girl in the town.
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Biggest city in the world...
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it swallowed my mother up.
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What about my father, Mr. Feely?
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I wouldn't know about that, son.
Things be complicated, you know.
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What did she look like?
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Mitzi Gaynor, son.
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That's who she looked like, Mitzi.
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Mitzi Gaynor.
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Well, fuck me pink with a hairy arse!
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In the name of the Father and the Son
and the Holy Spirit, amen.
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You see, once upon a time...
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there was a young girl named Eily Bergin...
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who looked not unlike
the well-known film star Mitzi Gaynor...
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who sang I'm Gonna Wash That Man
Right Outta My Hair.
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And she went to London,
the biggest city in the world...
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which swallowed her up.
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But before she vanished...
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I think she worked
as a priest's housekeeper, Father.
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But I could be wrong there, couldn't I?
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I mean, I could be wrong. After all, I....
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All I wanted was her address.
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There between the Po
and the Apennines, boys...
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the climate is always the same.
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The landscape never changes...
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and in country like this
you can stop along any road for a moment...
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and look at a farmhouse
sitting in the middle of maize and hemp...
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and immediately a story is born.
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Now, when you're writing your essay for me
this morning...
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whatever form it takes is up to you.
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It can be called
"I Fought in the Easter Rising"...
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"I Was Dracula's Girlfriend"...
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or even "A Day in the Life of an Old Boot".
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You've got one hour, so learn to write.
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"God bless us.
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"It's yourself"...
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-God bless us. It's yourself, ma'am.
-It is indeed, Father.
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...remarked...
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randy Father Liam...
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as he opened the door...
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to a young woman...
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who bore a startling resemblance...
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to Mitzi Gaynor.
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So you are the replacement
for Mrs. McGlynn?
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I am indeed, Father.
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Destroyed with the lumbago, she is.
Destroyed, and that's a fact.
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But sure she'll be back on her feet soon,
please God.
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Please God she will, now.
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But tell me this...
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have I begun to dote...
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or do you remind me of someone special?
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When she sensed a movement...
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underneath his black serge trousers.
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Oh, Father, please, how could I?
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When I've gone out of my way...
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knowing that your dicky doodle,
naughty poopster that he is...
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given the slightest encouragement...
00:14:15.693 --> 00:14:17.593
would be only too eager
to get up to mischief...
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Down, boy! Naughty dicky...
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to camouflage myself and look like
any ordinary old curate's drudge.
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"And most definitely not...
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"a perfume-sprayed vision...
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"named Mitzi Gaynor...
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"with a head of bubble-cut curls...
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"that would make any man's privates
go sprong. "
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I've got the standard uniform, Father.
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The blue housecoat
with the bow at the back...
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the tan stockings, color of stale tea...
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the old hairnet,
which says to all them Mickies...
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whose duty it is to stay inside
and wear black serge...
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"No Mickies today.
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"Down, boys. That's it, my sweets,
off with you and say your prayers."
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Breakfast, Father?
00:15:03.409 --> 00:15:05.401
By God, and now you're talking.
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Mickey is devious...
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and no matter how much you tell him...
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he simply won't stay down.
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But drab old housecoats...
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and tea-colored stockings
might well have kept him down...
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if it wasn't for that pesky spot of grease.
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Oh, this is powerful altogether.
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I would do jail for another rasher.
Do you know that, Eily?
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I'll fry you some more
this minute, then, Father.
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Come here till I tell you. Did you hear
the one about peanuts at confession?
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No, Father. At least I don't think so.
00:15:46.156 --> 00:15:49.648
Says the priest to the young fellow, "Did
you throw peanuts in the river, too?"
00:15:49.726 --> 00:15:53.492
To which the young lad says,
"No, Father, I am Peanuts."
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Not a very funny joke...
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but she laughed and she laughed.
00:16:05.377 --> 00:16:09.814
In fact, you could say
she laughed until she cried.
00:16:11.884 --> 00:16:13.943
My skirt and housecoat are riding up.
00:16:14.019 --> 00:16:15.610
Better abort this task at once...
00:16:15.686 --> 00:16:19.214
or we could have an exploding clergyman
filling the air with pent-up sexual energy.
00:16:19.292 --> 00:16:20.316
Oh, no!
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-Priest grows wings in latest miracle.
-Eily!
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"When she found herself enveloped
by his skirts. "
00:16:28.066 --> 00:16:30.365
Now, Father, is this another joke?
00:16:31.503 --> 00:16:33.028
That hurt, Father.
00:16:33.106 --> 00:16:37.476
Frank Sinatra wouldn't do this, Father.
Neither would Vic Damone.
00:16:38.479 --> 00:16:40.208
I'm all wet, Father.
00:16:40.613 --> 00:16:42.911
What are you doing down there, Father?
00:16:43.184 --> 00:16:45.345
Are you playing squidgy
with my Fairy Liquid?
00:16:46.120 --> 00:16:48.520
But she was soon to realize...
00:16:48.657 --> 00:16:52.285
it wasn't Fairy Liquid
he'd been playing with down there.
00:16:54.296 --> 00:16:56.890
The end.
00:16:57.832 --> 00:16:58.821
No...
00:17:00.135 --> 00:17:02.535
it wasn't Fairy Liquid at all.
00:17:07.777 --> 00:17:09.471
"...privates go sprong."
00:17:10.078 --> 00:17:11.841
"Privates go...."
00:17:11.913 --> 00:17:13.380
How dare you?
00:17:13.883 --> 00:17:16.579
When I said, "develop your literary skills"...
00:17:17.054 --> 00:17:19.522
I did not, repeat, not, mean this.
00:17:20.691 --> 00:17:22.317
Why did you write it?
00:17:22.960 --> 00:17:26.122
I thought there was a moral, sir.
A lesson, if you will.
00:17:26.295 --> 00:17:28.195
Young girls in mortal danger.
00:17:28.764 --> 00:17:31.894
Get out of this classroom, Braden!
To the Dean's office!
00:17:32.569 --> 00:17:34.538
Hello, class. My name is Miss Kitten...
00:17:34.606 --> 00:17:38.372
and I'd like to tell you about the perils
of being a priest's housekeeper...
00:17:38.443 --> 00:17:41.309
especially when you look like Mitzi Gaynor.
00:17:41.379 --> 00:17:43.870
Hands up who can tell me
who Mitzi Gaynor is.
00:17:43.947 --> 00:17:46.416
So, you see, Patrick, we're on your side.
00:17:47.151 --> 00:17:49.848
We're here to help you.
I don't think you understand that.
00:17:49.922 --> 00:17:51.786
Well, no, you're wrong, Father. I do.
00:17:51.856 --> 00:17:55.815
So, if you can think of anything
that would help us to help you, well....
00:17:57.529 --> 00:17:58.518
Well...
00:17:59.965 --> 00:18:01.990
there is one thing, Father.
00:18:04.738 --> 00:18:06.467
-Instead of PE...
-Yeah.
00:18:07.307 --> 00:18:10.765
...I could take Home Economics
and Needlework class.
00:18:12.077 --> 00:18:15.071
And you think that would help you...
00:18:15.815 --> 00:18:17.943
knuckle down and apply yourself?
00:18:21.922 --> 00:18:23.446
What's that, Patrick?
00:18:23.691 --> 00:18:26.057
Oh, and you can call me Kitten, Father.
00:18:27.128 --> 00:18:28.117
Kitten?
00:18:28.330 --> 00:18:31.891
Yes, Patrick Kitten Braden,
after Saint Kitten.
00:18:35.971 --> 00:18:39.873
Well, now,
there was no Saint Kitten, Patrick.
00:18:39.941 --> 00:18:42.272
Oh, no,
but there was a Saint Cettin, Father...
00:18:42.345 --> 00:18:44.370
and some have been known to call him...
00:18:44.446 --> 00:18:46.415
or was it a her...
00:18:46.616 --> 00:18:47.742
Kitten.
00:18:50.185 --> 00:18:51.414
Saint Kitten?
00:18:52.789 --> 00:18:55.257
He or she was an acolyte of Saint Patrick.
00:18:55.325 --> 00:18:59.762
Wore a dress. As did Saint Patrick, actually.
A hairy dress.
00:19:00.497 --> 00:19:02.328
Quite ruined her complexion.
00:19:03.867 --> 00:19:06.130
And they're for your sister, Patrick?
00:19:07.237 --> 00:19:10.638
Oh, she really needs a bit of glamour
in her life, Mrs. Coyle.
00:19:11.710 --> 00:19:14.645
But then again, don't we all?
00:19:15.312 --> 00:19:19.010
The trouble broke out as the Minister
of State for Northern Ireland, Mr. Channon...
00:19:19.084 --> 00:19:21.711
was visiting Derry
to see businessmen there...
00:19:22.921 --> 00:19:25.081
for the second time inside a month.
00:19:25.358 --> 00:19:27.222
Jesus, Mammy, I'm exhausted.
00:19:28.527 --> 00:19:29.959
At least you have a job...
00:19:30.029 --> 00:19:33.396
which is more than that waster yonder
is ever likely to have.
00:19:33.466 --> 00:19:35.433
Now, one more complaint from that school...
00:19:35.500 --> 00:19:38.368
and it'll not be good for you,
by Christ, it'll not.
00:19:39.271 --> 00:19:40.363
Oh, Mammy?
00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:44.501
Do you have the price of the dance
and a cup of coffee?
00:19:44.678 --> 00:19:47.044
Price of the dance and a cup of coffee?
00:19:47.180 --> 00:19:49.705
Price of the dance and a cup of coffee?
00:19:49.782 --> 00:19:51.478
Well, do you think I'm made of money?
00:19:51.551 --> 00:19:53.542
Do you think I'm made of money?
00:19:54.888 --> 00:19:56.413
Will you just hand over the cash?
00:19:56.491 --> 00:19:57.889
Will you just fork out the money...
00:19:57.959 --> 00:20:00.825
and stop blathering,
you fucking whiskery old whore.
00:20:00.894 --> 00:20:03.727
Here. And don't ask me again.
00:20:04.431 --> 00:20:07.799
Well, thank you so much, Mammy.
Thank you so much.
00:20:51.582 --> 00:20:54.279
-No. No, no, no, no, no.
-Why not?
00:20:54.352 --> 00:20:57.219
I'm not obliged to give you any reasons,
but I'll give you two anyway.
00:20:57.289 --> 00:20:58.687
Him and her.
00:20:59.024 --> 00:21:00.753
Don't have to stand for this, do we, Paddy?
00:21:00.826 --> 00:21:02.816
Oh, Paddy's her name.
Well, that's reason number three.
00:21:02.894 --> 00:21:06.422
-Did you ever ride a man, Lukie?
-No, but I rode a man that did.
00:21:07.099 --> 00:21:08.531
Fuck you.
00:21:08.668 --> 00:21:10.362
-Evening.
-How you doing?
00:21:12.371 --> 00:21:14.100
Mikey, go get the lads.
00:21:17.342 --> 00:21:20.244
I'm warning you, get out of here!
00:21:23.783 --> 00:21:26.753
Fuck them and their Rob Strong.
We'll go to the glen.
00:21:31.791 --> 00:21:34.421
Excuse me. Can we have a lift?
00:21:38.066 --> 00:21:39.158
Get on.
00:21:39.868 --> 00:21:41.562
Moving out.
00:22:03.727 --> 00:22:06.753
Druids, man. We're like the Border Knights.
00:22:07.430 --> 00:22:09.990
Knew all about the space-time continuum.
00:22:12.301 --> 00:22:16.135
-No, Lawrence! No. Excuse me, please.
-Open his eyes.
00:22:16.908 --> 00:22:18.933
-What do you see, bro?
-Sausages.
00:22:19.576 --> 00:22:20.873
No stars?
00:22:21.245 --> 00:22:23.041
Stars and sausages.
00:22:26.416 --> 00:22:27.884
Now you're talking.
00:22:28.252 --> 00:22:30.151
Gotta get behind the surface.
00:22:30.454 --> 00:22:31.945
Yes, surface.
00:22:32.991 --> 00:22:37.189
I see four green fields, Brits in one of them.
00:22:38.796 --> 00:22:41.425
-Not for fucking long.
-Hey, no politics, man.
00:22:41.900 --> 00:22:43.925
Border Knights don't allow them.
00:22:44.202 --> 00:22:45.864
Jams the astral highway.
00:22:47.072 --> 00:22:50.042
So why do you call yourselves
the Border Knights?
00:22:50.609 --> 00:22:53.044
Because the only border that matters...
00:22:53.479 --> 00:22:56.709
is the one between what's in front...
00:22:57.584 --> 00:22:59.415
and what you've left behind.
00:23:00.187 --> 00:23:02.883
When I ride my hog,
you think I'm riding the road?
00:23:02.957 --> 00:23:04.116
No way, man.
00:23:04.624 --> 00:23:08.391
I'm traveling from the past into the future
with a druid at my back.
00:23:10.764 --> 00:23:13.528
-Druid man or druid woman?
-That doesn't matter.
00:23:16.671 --> 00:23:18.502
What matters is the journey.
00:23:21.442 --> 00:23:23.910
-You know where it goes, baby?
-Where?
00:23:25.546 --> 00:23:29.210
We'll visit the stars and journey to Mars
00:23:30.252 --> 00:23:32.015
Finding our breakfast
00:23:33.288 --> 00:23:34.880
On Pluto
00:23:35.858 --> 00:23:37.222
Pluto?
00:23:37.659 --> 00:23:38.649
Pluto.
00:23:40.562 --> 00:23:44.499
No, not Pluto the dog. Pluto the planet.
00:23:46.269 --> 00:23:50.329
Named by Percival Lowell
and William H. Pickering...
00:23:52.075 --> 00:23:54.566
after the invisible king of the underworld.
00:24:02.286 --> 00:24:04.048
You think about that.
00:24:13.131 --> 00:24:16.532
Oh, kiss me, Joseph.
Kiss me, Joseph Hanratty.
00:24:16.601 --> 00:24:18.331
I'll beat your fucking....
00:24:26.145 --> 00:24:27.875
Now, boys and girls...
00:24:27.947 --> 00:24:31.814
a retreat is time for prayer and reflection.
00:24:32.618 --> 00:24:35.917
Some of you may have already noticed
that your bodies are...
00:24:36.690 --> 00:24:38.590
going through some changes...
00:24:38.858 --> 00:24:42.351
and I would like you to feel free
to approach us...
00:24:42.430 --> 00:24:45.091
about any problem that concerns you.
00:24:45.165 --> 00:24:48.966
So, I will leave this problem box...
00:24:49.603 --> 00:24:51.730
here by the altar rails.
00:24:52.472 --> 00:24:54.942
No problem should be precluded.
00:24:55.743 --> 00:24:59.043
After all, that is why we are here.
00:25:00.281 --> 00:25:03.740
Now, does everyone remember last week
we were talking about....
00:25:12.194 --> 00:25:14.925
You'll not bring my retreat into disrepute,
do you hear me?
00:25:14.997 --> 00:25:17.488
How dare it. How dare you, you pup, you....
00:25:17.566 --> 00:25:18.760
Sir, you're hurting me.
00:25:23.573 --> 00:25:26.475
-What did you write on the paper, Patrick?
-Nothing.
00:25:26.776 --> 00:25:27.766
Nothing.
00:25:28.411 --> 00:25:31.540
Just, did he know any place
that does a good sex change?
00:25:50.401 --> 00:25:51.527
Disgraced!
00:25:51.603 --> 00:25:55.005
Disgraced in front of the whole town,
so we are! Oh, Jesus!
00:25:55.073 --> 00:25:58.134
How could you do it, Paddy?
Mammy has a bad heart!
00:25:58.343 --> 00:26:01.005
-And now you've broken it.
-Oh, God, oh, God!
00:26:01.079 --> 00:26:03.412
Oh, Jesus Christ. My arm!
00:26:03.815 --> 00:26:06.411
-She's not my mammy.
-What did you say?
00:26:07.153 --> 00:26:10.681
I'm sorry, Caz.
Sorry, Mammy, wherever you are.
00:26:10.757 --> 00:26:12.987
Oh, stop it, Patrick, please!
00:26:13.059 --> 00:26:15.458
Why won't you stop it
and let us get on with our lives?
00:26:15.528 --> 00:26:18.054
I'm sorry, Caz. I never meant to hurt you.
00:26:18.698 --> 00:26:21.565
-After all, we've both been through this--
-Get away!
00:26:21.635 --> 00:26:23.866
Get your hands off me, you creature!
00:26:24.672 --> 00:26:27.640
Oh, figgly boogles. What's the point?
00:26:28.576 --> 00:26:30.941
That's it, I've tried my best. I'm off.
00:26:46.061 --> 00:26:48.120
Are you going to Scotsfield, by any chance?
00:26:48.196 --> 00:26:51.565
We'd better be. We're playing there tonight.
Get in the back.
00:26:57.173 --> 00:26:58.161
Hello.
00:27:13.190 --> 00:27:15.714
What do you think of this trouble up North?
00:27:15.959 --> 00:27:18.895
-Oh, I think it's an absolute terror.
-Do you think so, yeah?
00:27:18.963 --> 00:27:22.024
Oh, I do it.
A terror to the living world, so it is.
00:27:22.100 --> 00:27:24.295
I don't think you care either way...
00:27:24.802 --> 00:27:26.463
my good-looking young friend.
00:27:26.538 --> 00:27:28.801
No, I know how serious it is.
00:27:30.041 --> 00:27:32.510
They think they can break us, don't they?
00:27:32.711 --> 00:27:36.148
Hang Paddy from the ceiling.
Fuck him from a helicopter.
00:27:36.348 --> 00:27:38.646
Give him a dose of white noise.
00:27:39.084 --> 00:27:41.144
Shove electrodes up his arse.
00:27:41.587 --> 00:27:45.023
-Now, really, Mr.--
-Hatchett. They call me Billy Hatchett.
00:27:46.493 --> 00:27:48.620
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Hatchett.
00:27:49.930 --> 00:27:52.295
You really don't know who I am, do you?
00:27:52.766 --> 00:27:54.562
I haven't had the pleasure.
00:27:55.135 --> 00:27:59.196
Do you hear that, lads? He's never heard
of Billy Hatchett and the Mohawks.
00:29:48.223 --> 00:29:50.952
So, have you somewhere
to stay tonight, Paddy?
00:29:51.993 --> 00:29:54.427
Or should I call you Patrick?
00:29:56.465 --> 00:29:58.694
You can call me Kitten, darling.
00:29:58.901 --> 00:29:59.925
Kitten?
00:30:01.470 --> 00:30:02.903
After Saint Cettin.
00:30:03.505 --> 00:30:06.805
He or she was an acolyte of Patrick,
Saint Patrick.
00:30:07.877 --> 00:30:10.039
So you have somewhere to stay, then?
00:30:11.580 --> 00:30:14.209
Mammy threw me out, I'm afraid.
00:30:14.784 --> 00:30:18.016
Well, I could always put you up in the van.
00:30:18.088 --> 00:30:21.819
-It's not much, but I could.
-Mr. Hatchett!
00:30:27.098 --> 00:30:28.565
Thank you.
00:30:32.235 --> 00:30:33.863
You're welcome, Kitten.
00:30:38.744 --> 00:30:41.110
I'll be off to the hotel, then, Kitten.
00:30:44.116 --> 00:30:47.448
I'd stay the night.
I'd stay the night, but the boys....
00:30:47.518 --> 00:30:49.645
The boys might get the wrong idea.
00:30:49.855 --> 00:30:51.447
No, I've gotta go.
00:30:51.522 --> 00:30:54.220
-I've gotta go.
-Oh, please don't go just yet.
00:30:54.460 --> 00:30:57.692
Oh, Kitten. I gotta go. I really have.
00:31:01.067 --> 00:31:03.364
Billy! Billy, Billy.
00:31:09.610 --> 00:31:11.133
It's Bobby Goldsboro.
00:31:13.514 --> 00:31:15.572
Used to help me get to sleep.
00:31:16.116 --> 00:31:21.078
His wife dies. You see,
she dies when he's away from home.
00:31:22.591 --> 00:31:26.823
-Oh, Kitten, I've gotta go now.
-Billy.
00:31:26.895 --> 00:31:28.157
I really have.
00:31:30.865 --> 00:31:32.958
If you were away with the band...
00:31:34.536 --> 00:31:38.735
and you came home
and you found me lying there...
00:31:40.276 --> 00:31:43.267
like Bobby's wife....
00:31:45.815 --> 00:31:47.715
What about it?
00:31:49.086 --> 00:31:52.782
-Would you take me to the hospital?
-Oh, of course I would.
00:31:53.457 --> 00:31:54.718
Of course I would, Kitten.
00:31:54.790 --> 00:31:57.691
Oh, I wish that could happen.
00:31:58.362 --> 00:32:02.230
I've seen it all now. I tell you,
I've fucking well seen it all now.
00:32:02.299 --> 00:32:04.062
Where the fuck
do you think he disappeared to...
00:32:04.135 --> 00:32:06.068
when we were in San Francisco?
00:32:06.571 --> 00:32:09.062
I'd even bring you flowers.
00:32:11.708 --> 00:32:14.734
-Roses?
-Roses.
00:32:16.781 --> 00:32:18.613
Oh, Billy.
00:32:19.318 --> 00:32:20.444
Oh, Kitten.
00:32:21.287 --> 00:32:22.276
Billy.
00:32:27.693 --> 00:32:30.388
For I ask you, Billy Bobby, nicest man...
00:32:30.696 --> 00:32:33.131
what's an Indian band without a squaw?
00:32:35.267 --> 00:32:36.757
"A squaw?"
00:33:58.491 --> 00:34:02.552
-Name, please?
-Paddy Kitten. What's yours, darling?
00:34:02.662 --> 00:34:05.358
I could tell you were a Paddy all right.
00:34:12.873 --> 00:34:17.104
-What about Geronimo?
-What would I know? I'm just a Mick.
00:34:17.209 --> 00:34:20.701
Thirteen of your lot shot in Derry.
What do you know about that?
00:34:20.781 --> 00:34:23.614
Maybe you'd know about thirteen less
to deal with.
00:34:24.718 --> 00:34:27.187
Fuck off, mate.
00:34:30.792 --> 00:34:32.157
Fuck off.
00:35:04.526 --> 00:35:07.587
Get off the fucking stage, you stupid bitch.
00:35:17.874 --> 00:35:22.174
Patrick, I don't know how to say this to you.
00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:25.211
It's the boys, the boys in the band.
00:35:25.549 --> 00:35:28.178
They feel a squaw just isn't working out.
00:35:29.521 --> 00:35:31.421
It could be they have a point.
00:35:31.590 --> 00:35:34.150
They say it doesn't feel right.
00:35:34.226 --> 00:35:37.423
I don't know,
they've been with me so long and....
00:35:37.996 --> 00:35:39.624
I'm sorry.
00:35:40.198 --> 00:35:42.098
But I have a little proposal.
00:35:42.467 --> 00:35:45.460
-A ring, perhaps?
-Oh, Patrick, Patrick....
00:35:47.974 --> 00:35:50.032
I told you not to call me that.
00:35:51.077 --> 00:35:53.477
I'm sorry, Kitten.
00:35:57.016 --> 00:36:02.011
Bobby Billy,
would you bring me sweeties, too?
00:36:02.423 --> 00:36:03.788
You know I would.
00:36:04.725 --> 00:36:07.354
-What kind would they be?
-Oh, for the love of Jesus.
00:36:07.429 --> 00:36:10.761
-No. No, Quality Street.
-Quality Street?
00:36:29.552 --> 00:36:32.646
It was my mother's.
She left it to me in her will.
00:36:32.721 --> 00:36:36.714
Nobody stays here, and I need somebody
to look after it, Kitten.
00:36:36.792 --> 00:36:40.729
-What do you reckon?
-House of dreams and longing.
00:36:40.831 --> 00:36:44.961
I wouldn't exactly call it a house,
but tell us what you think.
00:36:52.376 --> 00:36:56.368
Oh, to have a little house.
To own the hearth, stool and all.
00:36:57.381 --> 00:37:01.317
So, Kitten, can I come and visit you
every now and again?
00:37:01.486 --> 00:37:05.946
Of course you can,
you great, big, silly Bobby Goldsboro.
00:37:06.024 --> 00:37:08.185
You don't even have to ask.
00:37:47.568 --> 00:37:50.332
Well, goodness gracious, icky-oakie me.
00:38:16.466 --> 00:38:18.991
-What?
-What's with Diana Ross?
00:38:19.235 --> 00:38:20.863
Leave him be, he knows nothing.
00:38:20.938 --> 00:38:22.872
-Keep it that way.
-No problem.
00:38:49.969 --> 00:38:53.803
If I volunteer, Irwin,
could I have pink glasses, please?
00:38:53.905 --> 00:38:56.203
Can't you take anything serious?
00:38:56.609 --> 00:38:59.407
Oh, serious, serious, serious.
00:38:59.478 --> 00:39:01.776
You might have to soon enough.
00:39:02.983 --> 00:39:05.918
So fucking what, Charlie?
I sell Republican News.
00:39:05.986 --> 00:39:08.955
A few fucking papers, big deal.
What are you, my fucking wife?
00:39:09.021 --> 00:39:11.785
Don't you lie to me, Irwin.
I don't believe your stories.
00:39:11.857 --> 00:39:15.989
I'm involved in nothing! I sell their paper,
for all the difference it makes in this kip.
00:39:16.063 --> 00:39:17.758
Nobody gives a fuck!
00:39:17.832 --> 00:39:19.059
Soon enough they fucking will.
00:39:19.132 --> 00:39:21.761
If I find out you're lying to me,
I'll finish with you, I swear!
00:39:21.836 --> 00:39:24.805
Yeah, well, finish it with me,
see if I fucking care!
00:39:32.680 --> 00:39:35.706
Come on, move off the road.
There's a vehicle coming through.
00:39:35.783 --> 00:39:37.945
Get back. It's for your own safety.
00:39:42.825 --> 00:39:45.055
Get these people off the street!
00:39:45.128 --> 00:39:48.528
I want everyone to move away
from the red van!
00:39:48.597 --> 00:39:50.997
Come on, folks. Stand back, please. Move!
00:39:51.066 --> 00:39:53.967
Bring it down careful now. Yeah, gently.
00:39:54.037 --> 00:39:57.496
-Please, move back.
-Move back.
00:39:57.974 --> 00:40:00.944
Now let the Army go to work.
Get back, now, get back.
00:40:02.680 --> 00:40:03.942
Move back and clear the area.
00:40:04.014 --> 00:40:06.573
-There may be other devices.
-You're to get away now. Get back, now.
00:40:06.650 --> 00:40:08.913
Get away from the street.
Get off the street now.
00:40:08.985 --> 00:40:10.647
Clear this area for your own safety.
00:40:10.721 --> 00:40:11.814
Move back.
00:40:12.857 --> 00:40:15.257
-It's a Dalek. Exterminate.
-Lawrence!
00:40:15.427 --> 00:40:19.523
Exterminate. Exterminate.
Exterminate. Exterminate.
00:40:20.031 --> 00:40:21.191
Exterminate.
00:40:50.563 --> 00:40:53.534
Dust thou art,
and unto dust thou shalt return...
00:40:54.469 --> 00:40:56.698
until the Lord raises you up on the last day.
00:40:56.770 --> 00:41:00.400
Let us pray for our brother Lawrence
to our Lord Jesus Christ...
00:41:01.275 --> 00:41:04.505
who said,
"I am the resurrection, and the life.
00:41:04.778 --> 00:41:07.840
"The man who believes in me will live
even if he dies."
00:41:09.551 --> 00:41:13.043
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
00:41:13.355 --> 00:41:14.845
Thy kingdom come...
00:41:15.090 --> 00:41:17.819
thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
00:41:18.127 --> 00:41:20.288
Give us this day our daily bread.
00:41:51.229 --> 00:41:53.254
Serious, serious.
00:41:53.331 --> 00:41:56.232
Time for some serious spring cleaning.
00:41:59.437 --> 00:42:01.268
Fuck.
00:42:03.074 --> 00:42:04.372
Don't you know what this means?
00:42:04.443 --> 00:42:06.967
Do you know
what these guys are like, Paddy?
00:42:07.146 --> 00:42:10.274
-Don't let this come between us, Billy.
-Shut up!
00:42:13.052 --> 00:42:15.543
Jesus, what the fuck am I gonna do?
00:42:17.222 --> 00:42:20.751
-Fucking Jesus!
-Tell them I was spring cleaning, darling.
00:42:20.828 --> 00:42:24.161
Where are they, Paddy?
Tell me, where are they?
00:42:24.230 --> 00:42:26.494
Now, what is this you mean, my darling?
00:42:26.566 --> 00:42:29.195
The guns, you little fucking whore,
where are they?
00:42:29.269 --> 00:42:32.363
The guns! It's all too fucking serious!
Don't go fucking me around.
00:42:32.440 --> 00:42:35.169
Oh, all of a sudden
everybody's getting serious.
00:42:35.242 --> 00:42:37.073
Serious, serious, serious.
00:42:37.144 --> 00:42:38.942
I'm not fucking joking, Patrick!
00:42:39.013 --> 00:42:42.141
-Where are they?
-I told you to call me Kitten.
00:42:51.159 --> 00:42:52.957
Don't fucking know me.
00:42:53.095 --> 00:42:54.823
You don't know where I've gone.
00:42:54.896 --> 00:42:58.388
And if they come, if they fucking come,
you tell them nothing.
00:42:58.834 --> 00:43:01.268
-I mean nothing.
-Whatever you say, darling.
00:43:01.337 --> 00:43:03.703
You're way out of your league, Patrick.
00:43:03.906 --> 00:43:06.932
You don't know what you're dealing with.
Don't fucking know.
00:43:07.010 --> 00:43:10.138
Oh, I do. I know, all right.
00:43:10.680 --> 00:43:13.581
I know you were only joking
about the roses...
00:43:13.650 --> 00:43:15.618
and sweets, too, probably.
00:43:20.791 --> 00:43:23.020
But it was nice while it lasted.
00:43:42.514 --> 00:43:44.278
Are you happy now?
00:43:44.684 --> 00:43:46.947
Are you happy now
that you got what you wanted?
00:43:47.019 --> 00:43:49.146
Now that they've bombed down here?
00:43:49.388 --> 00:43:51.413
Are your Republican friends
good and happy...
00:43:51.490 --> 00:43:53.652
now they can see what they've done?
00:43:54.060 --> 00:43:56.254
What the fuck are you talking about?
00:43:56.862 --> 00:43:59.162
It had nothing to do with Republicans.
00:44:00.033 --> 00:44:03.094
What the fuck would they bomb
a southern town for, huh?
00:44:05.105 --> 00:44:06.628
You hear me, Charlie?
00:44:07.808 --> 00:44:09.900
And if you want out, just say so.
00:44:36.405 --> 00:44:37.667
Open the door.
00:44:38.907 --> 00:44:42.571
-I can't, go away. Come back in the morning.
-Open it, bitch! This is serious!
00:44:42.646 --> 00:44:46.206
-Open the fucking door!
-Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm coming.
00:45:06.370 --> 00:45:09.067
-Where did he put them?
-I'm afraid I don't understand.
00:45:09.140 --> 00:45:11.837
The guns, Nancy boy.
Where did he put the guns?
00:45:11.910 --> 00:45:13.241
Oh, yes, the guns.
00:45:13.312 --> 00:45:16.907
Oh, Billy buried them outside
just to be safe.
00:45:16.982 --> 00:45:18.074
Go.
00:45:21.219 --> 00:45:23.347
There's no fucking guns down here.
00:45:26.326 --> 00:45:27.987
-I think they might just be...
-The little cunt!
00:45:28.061 --> 00:45:29.618
-He's taking the hand out of us.
-...over here.
00:45:29.696 --> 00:45:32.493
I'll nut him! I swear to God I'll nut him!
00:45:35.134 --> 00:45:37.034
Say goodbye to my friends, will you?
00:45:37.103 --> 00:45:39.368
Charlie lives in Sunbeam Heights
and Irwin's up The Backs.
00:45:39.440 --> 00:45:40.498
Irwin who?
00:45:40.673 --> 00:45:41.901
Why, Irwin Kerr, of course.
00:45:41.975 --> 00:45:44.911
-The big-time Volunteer.
-How do you know Irwin Kerr?
00:45:44.978 --> 00:45:47.914
Oh, nothing. Never mind.
Well, come on then.
00:45:48.148 --> 00:45:51.550
Just do it. I've nothing left to live for
in this stupid, serious world.
00:45:51.618 --> 00:45:52.642
Oh, fuck him.
00:45:52.721 --> 00:45:55.212
Leave him be. He's not worth the bullet,
the mental Nancy boy.
00:45:55.290 --> 00:45:58.191
Oh, what is it with Nancy boys
that you can't be bothered killing them?
00:45:58.259 --> 00:46:00.251
-You kill everyone else.
-Look, I'm fucking warning you.
00:46:00.327 --> 00:46:02.853
Do you know what you're doing here?
Are you on dope or what?
00:46:02.931 --> 00:46:05.991
Wish that I was, Mr. Killing Man.
Why, do you have any?
00:46:06.401 --> 00:46:08.733
You're way out of your league, sunshine.
00:46:08.804 --> 00:46:10.931
Not that again.
"Out of your league, out of your league."
00:46:11.007 --> 00:46:13.134
"Oh, you're in over your head.
You're in over your head."
00:46:13.209 --> 00:46:14.676
Oh, for heaven's sake!
00:46:14.744 --> 00:46:17.235
Surely you've one bullet to spare
between yous.
00:46:17.313 --> 00:46:19.042
Bollocks!
00:46:27.124 --> 00:46:29.490
-Where are we going?
-You hit us, we hit you.
00:46:29.559 --> 00:46:31.551
-It's simple.
-Right.
00:46:31.627 --> 00:46:34.391
The bomb was made up here
and driven across the border.
00:46:34.464 --> 00:46:37.127
Wee Bobby Anderson.
Likes killing Catholics.
00:46:37.201 --> 00:46:39.396
It'll be the last fucking bomb he'll make.
00:46:39.470 --> 00:46:41.735
Turn the lights off. Keep it running.
00:47:11.104 --> 00:47:12.469
Oh, Lord.
00:47:29.789 --> 00:47:32.087
Get us the fuck out of here, will you?
00:47:32.727 --> 00:47:35.219
-What's the smell?
-He shat himself.
00:47:35.329 --> 00:47:36.957
You not toilet trained?
00:47:38.467 --> 00:47:42.164
What do you think you are, Kerr?
What the fuck do you think this is?
00:47:47.643 --> 00:47:48.837
Tell me you're not serious.
00:47:48.945 --> 00:47:51.572
You see, there is that word again.
It's everywhere.
00:47:51.647 --> 00:47:54.081
But you don't know a soul
in London, Paddy.
00:47:54.150 --> 00:47:56.481
There's only one soul I need, Charlie.
00:48:00.790 --> 00:48:02.724
You really think you'll find her?
00:48:02.793 --> 00:48:04.886
How many Eily Bergins can there be?
00:48:04.962 --> 00:48:06.862
Maybe she's changed her name.
00:48:07.331 --> 00:48:09.697
She won't have changed her eyes, Irwin.
00:48:12.903 --> 00:48:14.393
How will you get by?
00:48:18.176 --> 00:48:20.007
Saint Anthony will guide me.
00:49:24.279 --> 00:49:26.941
The thing is, you come to the city
that never sleeps...
00:49:27.016 --> 00:49:29.349
and you think it's open all the time,
but it does sleep.
00:49:29.419 --> 00:49:30.909
Excuse me?
00:49:31.855 --> 00:49:33.116
Of course it does.
00:49:33.188 --> 00:49:36.749
I'm looking for my mother, please.
Eily Bergin. Phantom Lady.
00:49:38.862 --> 00:49:42.298
I've just got two Bergins for 1956.
00:49:42.365 --> 00:49:45.529
Bergin, Ellen,
and Bergin with a simple initial E.
00:49:46.037 --> 00:49:48.904
Well, that's her.
I mean, it has to be one of them.
00:49:49.173 --> 00:49:52.938
One's from Aldgate
and the other's from East London.
00:49:55.780 --> 00:49:57.873
Will you be going back home
after you've found her?
00:49:57.948 --> 00:50:00.974
Oh, yes, of course.
Maybe she'll come with me.
00:50:03.220 --> 00:50:06.348
-And, son, will you promise me something?
-Yes.
00:50:07.726 --> 00:50:11.288
-Take care of yourself.
-Oh, I will, Mrs. Henderson.
00:50:11.496 --> 00:50:12.589
Thank you.
00:50:41.795 --> 00:50:44.663
No, mate,
they knocked those houses down years ago.
00:51:35.953 --> 00:51:36.943
I'm....
00:52:44.459 --> 00:52:45.824
The man himself.
00:52:47.396 --> 00:52:48.796
About time, too.
00:52:53.170 --> 00:52:55.103
Are you here for the job, kid?
00:52:58.741 --> 00:52:59.731
What job?
00:52:59.810 --> 00:53:01.504
This is showbiz, kid.
You gotta be on the ball.
00:53:01.577 --> 00:53:03.979
You try that with Stephenson,
now, you've no fucking chance.
00:53:04.047 --> 00:53:05.241
Who's Stephenson?
00:53:05.315 --> 00:53:08.682
He thinks he's in charge.
RAF, my bollocks! I'll give him RAF.
00:53:08.786 --> 00:53:12.381
-You're Irish, you are.
-Tyreelin, County Cavan.
00:53:12.624 --> 00:53:14.353
Well then, County Cavan...
00:53:14.858 --> 00:53:17.327
give us a song and you're home and dry.
00:53:19.298 --> 00:53:21.891
Underground, overground, wombling free
00:53:22.001 --> 00:53:24.265
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
00:53:24.335 --> 00:53:27.863
Good man, you have it.
Now the dance, okay? Okay?
00:53:28.307 --> 00:53:29.638
I'm going in.
00:53:30.377 --> 00:53:34.369
Right. Hop, one. Hop, two.
Hop, one, two, three.
00:53:35.815 --> 00:53:37.805
Flap, flap, flap. Okay?
00:53:37.883 --> 00:53:42.150
Go, go on.
Hop, hop one, hop two, hop one, two, three.
00:53:43.223 --> 00:53:44.885
Flap, flap, flap. Right, ready?
00:53:44.959 --> 00:53:47.256
Right, hop one, hop two.
00:53:47.327 --> 00:53:49.956
For fuck's sake, will you hop right?
One, two, three.
00:53:50.031 --> 00:53:53.330
Hop one, hop two. Hop, one, two, three.
00:53:54.769 --> 00:53:57.033
Flap, flap. Flap it out, flap it out.
00:53:57.972 --> 00:53:59.406
Sell it to me.
00:54:00.742 --> 00:54:04.075
Overground, underground, wombling free
00:54:04.146 --> 00:54:06.808
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
00:54:06.882 --> 00:54:08.782
Give him the drill, Bulgaria.
00:54:09.183 --> 00:54:12.278
Enough already.
You take the croquet. Capisce?
00:54:12.353 --> 00:54:13.720
-Capisce.
-I gotta wheel.
00:54:13.790 --> 00:54:15.690
Every morning, 9:00, be there.
00:54:30.074 --> 00:54:31.336
Bulgaria?
00:54:31.809 --> 00:54:33.742
I told you before,
these are your responsibility.
00:54:33.811 --> 00:54:35.209
You're head Womble here.
00:54:35.279 --> 00:54:37.440
-Well, that's this.... Fuck!
-Fuck!
00:54:37.514 --> 00:54:39.345
I'll give you RAF.
00:54:39.416 --> 00:54:40.883
I broke no fucking mallet!
00:54:40.950 --> 00:54:43.648
-I broke no fucking mallet!
-Keep away from me.
00:54:44.021 --> 00:54:45.046
Put that down!
00:54:45.122 --> 00:54:47.921
I'll break it across your back, you bollocks!
00:54:48.025 --> 00:54:50.323
I'll bust it....
00:54:54.532 --> 00:54:56.159
"You broke the mallet," he says.
00:54:56.234 --> 00:54:59.671
"I'll have to dock it from your pay."
I broke no fucking mallet.
00:54:59.739 --> 00:55:01.206
You fucked me one last time.
00:55:01.273 --> 00:55:03.240
RAF, my bollocks! That's the end of the line!
00:55:03.309 --> 00:55:05.038
Enough of that, John Joe.
00:55:06.244 --> 00:55:07.576
Back off, motherfucker.
00:55:07.647 --> 00:55:09.239
You don't know
what you're dealing with here!
00:55:09.315 --> 00:55:11.409
Back in the can,
you wanna know what they used to say?
00:55:11.485 --> 00:55:14.113
"Stay away, man.
He's out where the buses don't run!"
00:55:14.187 --> 00:55:17.747
-You're out of your league here, friend.
-Oh, not that again.
00:55:18.624 --> 00:55:19.989
You have to show them where you stand.
00:55:20.059 --> 00:55:22.324
They fuck with you, you fuck with them.
00:55:22.396 --> 00:55:24.990
You fuck them so bad
you make them wish they'd never been born.
00:55:25.065 --> 00:55:28.091
-You want another shot?
-I'd love a Babycham.
00:55:28.670 --> 00:55:30.570
You got it, kemo sabe.
00:55:31.139 --> 00:55:34.165
Tommy, one Babycham, one Powers.
00:55:34.609 --> 00:55:35.701
Please.
00:55:35.777 --> 00:55:37.745
Two weeks' severance, in the paw.
00:55:37.811 --> 00:55:41.340
You fuck with John Joe Kenny,
that's one time you fuck too many.
00:55:42.083 --> 00:55:43.449
He's from Cavan.
00:55:43.786 --> 00:55:46.254
So, where's Cavan?
00:55:46.321 --> 00:55:47.913
Next to Monaghan.
00:55:49.491 --> 00:55:52.551
I'm going for a womble.
If you want to come, give us a shout, right?
00:55:52.628 --> 00:55:54.095
Really, Uncle Bulgaria.
00:55:54.164 --> 00:55:57.030
Underground, overground, wombling free
00:55:57.099 --> 00:56:00.365
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
00:56:00.437 --> 00:56:03.338
Underground, overground, wombling free
00:56:03.406 --> 00:56:05.874
I was a Womble one time.
Did you know that?
00:56:08.945 --> 00:56:11.038
Hey, you can't sleep here, love.
00:56:12.048 --> 00:56:14.017
Have you got a home to go to?
00:56:15.553 --> 00:56:17.384
You can get a cab outside.
00:56:18.556 --> 00:56:23.392
Oh, I do believe I have a small, elfin
dwelling on Wimbledon Common.
00:56:34.505 --> 00:56:35.495
Oi!
00:56:36.341 --> 00:56:38.469
You doing business,
do it somewhere else, love.
00:56:38.544 --> 00:56:40.307
This pavement's got my name on it.
00:56:40.379 --> 00:56:42.710
What, pray, is your name? Concrete?
00:56:43.449 --> 00:56:46.441
My name is Scratch Your Eyes Out,
Bite Your Bleeding Nose Off...
00:56:46.518 --> 00:56:49.419
which is what I'll do
if you don't get off my patch.
00:56:50.490 --> 00:56:51.856
All right, lover?
00:56:52.692 --> 00:56:54.284
She giving you trouble, son?
00:56:54.360 --> 00:56:57.454
Oh, no trouble at all.
We were just exchanging names.
00:56:58.932 --> 00:57:01.627
Go on, you fucking Nancy boy!
00:57:01.835 --> 00:57:04.166
Don't fucking come back!
00:57:04.270 --> 00:57:08.298
And her name is Scratch Your Eyes Out
and Bite Your Bleeding Nose Off.
00:57:08.375 --> 00:57:10.935
And my name is Patricia Kitten Braden.
00:57:11.146 --> 00:57:14.012
Pleased to meet you, Patricia Kitten Braden.
00:57:15.416 --> 00:57:17.383
Just what were you doing back there?
00:57:17.451 --> 00:57:19.444
I was looking for the Phantom Lady.
00:57:19.522 --> 00:57:21.513
You found the right street, then.
00:57:21.590 --> 00:57:24.558
Why, what's it called? Phantom Lady Street?
00:57:24.693 --> 00:57:28.219
You could call it that.
And just who is this Phantom Lady?
00:57:28.497 --> 00:57:31.465
Well, it's my mother, really. I call her that.
00:57:31.600 --> 00:57:35.628
To pretend it's a story
that's happening to someone else, you see.
00:57:35.705 --> 00:57:37.536
And why do you pretend that?
00:57:37.607 --> 00:57:40.337
Because otherwise I might cry
and never stop.
00:57:40.743 --> 00:57:43.110
If you cried, I'd make you stop.
00:57:43.479 --> 00:57:44.946
Oh, you would?
00:57:45.182 --> 00:57:47.150
Oh, how kind, kind sir.
00:57:48.018 --> 00:57:50.316
Yes, I'd definitely make you stop.
00:57:55.359 --> 00:57:57.452
And just what is it you do, then?
00:57:57.829 --> 00:58:01.287
Oh, this and that. Showbiz, kind of. Singing.
00:58:02.267 --> 00:58:05.895
-What do you like to sing about?
-I sing about true love.
00:58:06.604 --> 00:58:07.936
That's nice.
00:58:08.606 --> 00:58:10.234
Have you ever found it?
00:58:11.844 --> 00:58:14.312
I thought I had, once.
00:58:17.416 --> 00:58:19.214
Here's one about true love.
00:58:23.656 --> 00:58:25.214
Ever heard this one?
00:58:27.159 --> 00:58:28.524
Nice, isn't it?
00:58:29.295 --> 00:58:31.388
I just love love songs.
00:58:35.936 --> 00:58:37.095
Take it off.
00:58:39.372 --> 00:58:42.365
-Don't you like it?
-Take it off, there's a good lad.
00:58:45.046 --> 00:58:46.946
As you wish, sir.
00:58:53.889 --> 00:58:56.449
-Now, isn't that more comfortable?
-Yes, sir.
00:58:58.726 --> 00:59:01.754
Of course it is, my love-loving friend.
00:59:03.332 --> 00:59:06.631
Here, feel that.
00:59:11.073 --> 00:59:13.302
Good old-fashioned silk.
00:59:13.509 --> 00:59:16.501
-Here you are.
-Thank you.
00:59:25.121 --> 00:59:26.486
It's beautiful.
00:59:29.727 --> 00:59:32.524
-You like it?
-It's beautiful.
00:59:33.364 --> 00:59:34.661
Like it?
00:59:45.877 --> 00:59:50.007
But did true love save Kitten
from the hands of the beast...
00:59:50.082 --> 00:59:52.447
in that worst of all fairy tales?
00:59:52.517 --> 00:59:55.316
No, what saved Kitten...
00:59:55.387 --> 00:59:57.948
was her precious perfume spray...
00:59:58.224 --> 01:00:02.091
bought for £2.99
in Roches Stores on Henry Street...
01:00:02.161 --> 01:00:04.997
before she left her beloved Emerald Isle.
01:00:15.642 --> 01:00:16.632
Hello.
01:00:19.179 --> 01:00:20.340
I'm sorry to interrupt...
01:00:20.414 --> 01:00:23.440
but are you all right, miss?
01:00:26.187 --> 01:00:28.018
Yes, fine, thank you.
01:00:28.690 --> 01:00:31.921
Just tired after my hard day's work.
01:00:32.995 --> 01:00:35.656
You have been sitting there
for four hours now.
01:00:38.099 --> 01:00:40.591
Yes, busy at my desk.
01:00:42.037 --> 01:00:43.766
Busy at your desk?
01:00:46.742 --> 01:00:48.438
Writing my little book.
01:00:50.379 --> 01:00:51.813
Your little book?
01:00:54.384 --> 01:00:55.818
What type of book?
01:00:59.556 --> 01:01:00.853
Well, it's a....
01:01:00.924 --> 01:01:04.018
It's a mystery thriller, sir.
01:01:04.094 --> 01:01:06.221
About a woman who disappears.
01:01:08.032 --> 01:01:10.763
May I ask what it's called?
01:01:12.837 --> 01:01:14.099
Yes.
01:01:14.772 --> 01:01:16.035
It's called...
01:01:17.875 --> 01:01:19.604
Footprints in the Custard.
01:01:23.582 --> 01:01:26.415
No, I'm only joking.
It doesn't have a name yet...
01:01:26.618 --> 01:01:30.487
because I don't know what's gonna happen
if the mystery is ever solved.
01:01:31.256 --> 01:01:32.952
But the lady has a name?
01:01:34.893 --> 01:01:36.327
Phantom Lady.
01:01:37.664 --> 01:01:39.096
"Phantom Lady."
01:01:41.868 --> 01:01:45.702
No, her real name's Eily Bergin.
She was my mother.
01:01:45.839 --> 01:01:47.465
-Your mother?
-Yeah.
01:01:47.540 --> 01:01:49.667
And then she went away
to the city of all cities...
01:01:49.742 --> 01:01:52.042
that never sleeps from dusk till dawn.
01:01:52.379 --> 01:01:56.441
-So, you think she's here in London?
-No, I know she's here in London.
01:01:56.517 --> 01:01:57.882
Fantastic!
01:01:59.587 --> 01:02:02.214
The fantastic tale of Eily Bergin.
01:02:02.857 --> 01:02:04.882
I can't wait to hear the ending.
01:02:05.327 --> 01:02:09.319
-But you haven't even heard the start.
-I can't wait to hear that, either.
01:02:11.399 --> 01:02:14.835
-So, are you a writer, too, then, sir?
-Oh, good Lord, no.
01:02:17.172 --> 01:02:19.936
But something similar, maybe.
01:02:20.176 --> 01:02:23.576
Something similar?
I wonder what that could be.
01:02:30.219 --> 01:02:31.812
You're a magician!
01:02:32.822 --> 01:02:35.383
Bertie Vaughan at your service.
01:02:37.261 --> 01:02:40.958
Now, the first thing that has to be said,
Bertie dearest...
01:02:41.231 --> 01:02:45.600
is that you bear absolutely no resemblance
to Marlon "Margarine" Brando.
01:02:46.170 --> 01:02:47.966
We all have our off days.
01:02:49.707 --> 01:02:52.472
So, tell me more about the Phantom Lady.
01:02:52.811 --> 01:02:55.041
Why? What's in it for me?
01:02:55.313 --> 01:02:57.406
I'll take you to see my show.
01:02:57.582 --> 01:03:00.277
Oh, it's a deal, Magic.
01:03:00.417 --> 01:03:05.152
So, where were we? Yes, the Phantom Lady.
01:03:05.357 --> 01:03:07.826
Eily Bergin had just arrived in Dublin...
01:03:07.893 --> 01:03:11.955
and just realized that her boat
didn't sail for another four hours.
01:03:22.976 --> 01:03:24.876
Lo and behold, not a scratch.
01:03:25.212 --> 01:03:26.644
Thank you, my dear.
01:03:28.715 --> 01:03:29.942
Pick a card.
01:03:30.717 --> 01:03:31.742
Anyone?
01:03:32.386 --> 01:03:34.378
Come along, madam, pick a card.
01:03:34.522 --> 01:03:35.920
Any card.
01:03:40.862 --> 01:03:44.263
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, yes, blimey.
01:03:44.332 --> 01:03:45.891
"Oh, my God" is right.
01:03:45.968 --> 01:03:49.904
I do believe you've chosen the 101 of hearts.
01:03:49.972 --> 01:03:52.496
Thank you, my dear, I'll take care of that.
01:03:55.544 --> 01:03:57.067
Time, of course.
01:03:57.513 --> 01:03:59.309
The time.
01:03:59.381 --> 01:04:02.715
Looks like it's up, you lovely people.
01:04:03.485 --> 01:04:07.013
Come on, help me, please, my loves.
01:04:07.891 --> 01:04:12.884
Anyone out there
willing to encounter the great watch?
01:04:18.469 --> 01:04:20.369
-Hello, young lady.
-Hello.
01:04:21.172 --> 01:04:24.767
And what's the story
behind those beautiful blue eyes?
01:04:28.144 --> 01:04:33.015
-What's your name, young lady?
-Patricia Kitten Braden.
01:04:33.285 --> 01:04:36.413
-And where are you from, my dear?
-Ireland.
01:04:36.721 --> 01:04:39.986
Keep your eye on the watch, young Patricia.
01:04:41.660 --> 01:04:43.492
The whole world is in there.
01:04:45.430 --> 01:04:47.193
Tick-tock.
01:04:49.268 --> 01:04:51.566
Swing-swong.
01:04:53.206 --> 01:04:54.969
And, dare I say it...
01:04:55.608 --> 01:04:57.371
ding-dong.
01:04:58.645 --> 01:05:02.605
And let the great watch guide you.
01:05:15.095 --> 01:05:17.894
And what brings you
to our great metropolis?
01:05:18.565 --> 01:05:20.328
I'm looking for my mammy.
01:05:21.002 --> 01:05:23.971
Oh. And where did Mummy go?
01:05:24.938 --> 01:05:28.740
-The city swallowed her up.
-Oh, fancy that.
01:05:29.110 --> 01:05:31.443
Well, it will do that to people.
01:05:33.149 --> 01:05:35.845
But do you know what, Patricia?
01:05:36.719 --> 01:05:39.552
-I think I see your mother.
-Where?
01:05:39.655 --> 01:05:42.853
Why, down there
by that table by the jukebox.
01:05:43.460 --> 01:05:44.983
Mammy!
01:05:48.465 --> 01:05:51.160
On second thoughts, Patricia...
01:05:51.233 --> 01:05:54.033
she's not your mother,
she's your great-aunt Ida.
01:05:54.338 --> 01:05:56.637
That's your mother over there.
01:05:57.074 --> 01:05:58.406
Mammy?
01:05:59.944 --> 01:06:01.411
Mammy!
01:06:02.079 --> 01:06:03.240
Oh, Mammy.
01:06:06.516 --> 01:06:07.813
Actually...
01:06:07.884 --> 01:06:12.585
Patricia, that's your second cousin Ronnie,
just out of the Scrubs.
01:06:13.859 --> 01:06:15.257
In fact...
01:06:16.495 --> 01:06:18.690
your mummy is right up here.
01:06:20.431 --> 01:06:22.229
Up here on stage.
01:06:23.136 --> 01:06:24.865
Come to Mummy.
01:06:25.939 --> 01:06:27.873
Come to Mummy.
01:06:28.675 --> 01:06:30.575
Come to Mummy.
01:06:30.809 --> 01:06:32.801
Come to Mummy.
01:06:33.178 --> 01:06:36.877
You love your mummy and your poppy.
01:06:38.419 --> 01:06:40.717
Good to have you back, darling.
01:06:41.322 --> 01:06:43.312
And Mummy's never leaving again.
01:06:43.390 --> 01:06:44.619
Never.
01:06:45.793 --> 01:06:46.817
Never.
01:06:47.660 --> 01:06:50.026
Never, I promise. Never.
01:07:11.052 --> 01:07:13.681
Just call me Old Sawbones.
01:07:22.800 --> 01:07:25.597
-You all right, dear?
-Yes.
01:07:37.881 --> 01:07:41.318
Those of a nervous disposition...
01:07:41.386 --> 01:07:44.878
should now close their eyes.
01:07:49.462 --> 01:07:50.655
Oh, dear.
01:07:58.838 --> 01:08:00.634
Are you all right, Kitten?
01:08:02.173 --> 01:08:04.803
No, I'm actually quite heartbroken.
01:08:10.984 --> 01:08:13.145
I think I see the problem.
01:08:38.380 --> 01:08:40.779
Gee, thanks, Cupid.
01:08:51.566 --> 01:08:54.364
And the other thing
about the Phantom Lady was, Bertie...
01:08:54.436 --> 01:08:58.133
she realized, in the city that never sleeps....
01:08:58.206 --> 01:09:00.198
What did she realize, Kitten?
01:09:00.409 --> 01:09:04.573
That all the songs that she'd listened to,
all the love songs...
01:09:05.114 --> 01:09:07.378
well, they were only songs.
01:09:07.515 --> 01:09:11.077
-What's wrong with that?
-Nothing, if you don't believe in them.
01:09:12.088 --> 01:09:13.816
But she did, you see.
01:09:13.888 --> 01:09:16.551
She believed in enchanted evenings...
01:09:16.626 --> 01:09:20.722
and she believed that a small cloud
passed overhead...
01:09:20.797 --> 01:09:23.357
and cried down on her flowerbed.
01:09:23.734 --> 01:09:27.329
And she even believed
there was breakfast to be had.
01:09:27.404 --> 01:09:28.392
Where?
01:09:29.539 --> 01:09:30.734
On Pluto.
01:09:31.676 --> 01:09:35.578
The mysterious, icy wastes of Pluto.
01:09:38.149 --> 01:09:42.085
You know, Kitten,
I made a decision a long time ago.
01:09:43.255 --> 01:09:44.882
What decision was that?
01:09:46.024 --> 01:09:49.960
That I wasn't destined
for the sentimental side of things.
01:09:51.764 --> 01:09:52.753
But....
01:09:53.465 --> 01:09:57.732
But if I did let myself ever fall for someone...
01:09:59.339 --> 01:10:01.398
I think it would be a girl like you.
01:10:01.474 --> 01:10:04.307
Bertie, please, I have to stop you.
There's something you should know.
01:10:04.377 --> 01:10:07.039
Or maybe what I should say is...
01:10:08.782 --> 01:10:10.443
it would be a girl...
01:10:12.119 --> 01:10:15.213
-not a million miles away from...
-No, please don't.
01:10:15.356 --> 01:10:16.948
...where I'm standing.
01:10:18.591 --> 01:10:19.581
No.
01:10:23.264 --> 01:10:25.231
What's the matter, princess?
01:10:27.536 --> 01:10:29.969
Well, you see, the thing is, Bertie...
01:10:31.506 --> 01:10:32.939
I'm not....
01:10:33.141 --> 01:10:34.130
Yes?
01:10:37.112 --> 01:10:38.602
I'm not a girl.
01:10:39.514 --> 01:10:41.483
Oh, I knew that, princess.
01:10:42.952 --> 01:10:45.443
-You did?
-Of course.
01:10:46.722 --> 01:10:48.189
What I said was...
01:10:49.559 --> 01:10:51.754
it would be a girl like you.
01:11:00.804 --> 01:11:03.830
I do believe I see Mummy over there.
01:11:06.810 --> 01:11:08.175
Mammy!
01:11:12.250 --> 01:11:16.448
Actually, she's just walked in. There.
01:11:20.191 --> 01:11:21.488
Mammy! Mammy.
01:11:22.126 --> 01:11:23.492
Bastards!
01:11:24.663 --> 01:11:26.597
Think you can make fun of her?
01:11:27.867 --> 01:11:29.425
You're coming with me.
01:11:33.372 --> 01:11:34.430
Wait!
01:11:34.840 --> 01:11:36.398
Please don't leave me.
01:11:37.377 --> 01:11:39.368
What about the Prince of Magic?
01:11:39.813 --> 01:11:42.873
-Please don't go.
-Some fucking Prince of Magic.
01:11:42.983 --> 01:11:45.884
No, maybe I should....
He doesn't mean bad, Charlie.
01:11:45.951 --> 01:11:48.819
For Christ's sake, Paddy,
what is happening to you?
01:11:49.689 --> 01:11:50.917
Kitten!
01:12:17.953 --> 01:12:19.045
Excuse me.
01:12:26.296 --> 01:12:28.923
John Joe. John Joe!
01:12:29.165 --> 01:12:30.154
John Joe!
01:12:31.734 --> 01:12:33.258
Not a Womble anymore.
01:12:34.037 --> 01:12:37.997
Don't talk to me about fucking Wombles!
I'm in the Tower of London now.
01:12:39.343 --> 01:12:43.780
Thirty smackers in the paw, boy,
no questions asked.
01:12:43.881 --> 01:12:45.849
Hey, they're looking
for a Mary Queen of Scots.
01:12:45.915 --> 01:12:49.148
-Would you be up for it?
-They'd chop my head off, surely.
01:12:49.587 --> 01:12:51.782
And here's the man to do it for you.
01:12:53.557 --> 01:12:54.957
Smiley, huh?
01:13:34.902 --> 01:13:36.334
Where's Irwin gone?
01:13:37.271 --> 01:13:39.898
Him and his fucking revolution.
01:13:52.988 --> 01:13:55.684
-How'd you carry it?
-Bottom of my sleeping bag.
01:13:57.960 --> 01:14:00.486
There won't be much sleeping
with this baby.
01:14:01.630 --> 01:14:03.565
So you haven't seen her, then?
01:14:05.935 --> 01:14:07.596
She's here, though, somewhere.
01:14:07.670 --> 01:14:09.831
I know it. I just know it, Charlie.
01:14:10.507 --> 01:14:12.030
Big fucking city.
01:14:13.843 --> 01:14:15.641
I'm losing Irwin, you know.
01:14:16.847 --> 01:14:17.905
How?
01:14:18.849 --> 01:14:21.818
He's up to something. I know it.
01:14:23.754 --> 01:14:25.381
He's got these secrets.
01:14:27.591 --> 01:14:29.526
So why did you come over, Charlie?
01:14:29.594 --> 01:14:31.255
Wasn't just to see me.
01:14:32.798 --> 01:14:34.925
Was it something to do with Irwin?
01:14:37.369 --> 01:14:38.836
You might say that.
01:14:42.841 --> 01:14:44.070
I'm pregnant.
01:14:48.648 --> 01:14:50.309
Oh, Jesus, Charlie.
01:14:52.151 --> 01:14:53.379
Does he know?
01:14:55.288 --> 01:14:57.119
You know all he knows about.
01:14:58.325 --> 01:14:59.758
Or cares.
01:15:08.802 --> 01:15:11.293
But you didn't come here to have the baby?
01:15:14.375 --> 01:15:16.275
I came here to get rid of it.
01:15:23.952 --> 01:15:25.886
You have to tell him, Charlie.
01:15:27.223 --> 01:15:28.520
I can't.
01:15:29.592 --> 01:15:31.389
He's all fucked up. He's....
01:15:33.729 --> 01:15:36.823
So, how are the homeless?
01:15:38.667 --> 01:15:40.066
Homeless are fine.
01:15:40.837 --> 01:15:43.305
That's what keeps him out late, Kitten...
01:15:43.974 --> 01:15:45.703
working with the homeless.
01:15:46.443 --> 01:15:47.705
Right, Irwin?
01:16:05.326 --> 01:16:08.261
-I can't have it, can I, Paddy?
-No.
01:16:09.798 --> 01:16:11.527
No, you can't.
01:16:14.636 --> 01:16:16.934
Irwin's involved in shit
I don't wanna think about.
01:16:17.005 --> 01:16:18.165
I know.
01:16:18.540 --> 01:16:22.237
What would it turn out like, Paddy?
You know what I mean, don't you?
01:16:23.411 --> 01:16:27.371
It'd be an absolute disaster, like me.
01:16:29.952 --> 01:16:33.547
Now, I want you to read this leaflet.
01:16:33.890 --> 01:16:37.053
It outlines all aspects
of the termination procedure.
01:16:38.128 --> 01:16:39.288
Termination?
01:16:40.062 --> 01:16:43.430
-You mean this is an abortion clinic?
-Yes, of course it is.
01:16:44.601 --> 01:16:47.001
I thought it was a fertility clinic.
01:16:54.045 --> 01:16:56.479
I think she changed her mind. Thank you.
01:17:06.089 --> 01:17:08.821
You said it'd be a disaster, like you.
01:17:09.428 --> 01:17:11.760
Worse, probably.
01:17:12.298 --> 01:17:16.826
-But I love you, you fucking disaster.
-Oh, Charlie.
01:17:23.944 --> 01:17:27.107
-Promise you won't get lost again?
-I promise.
01:17:28.982 --> 01:17:29.971
Tell him.
01:17:31.685 --> 01:17:32.913
Tell me what?
01:17:33.987 --> 01:17:37.321
Charlie's joining the Sandinistas.
Aren't you, Charlie?
01:17:37.425 --> 01:17:40.485
-Sandinistas?
-They're a rock band.
01:17:40.561 --> 01:17:43.291
-Aren't they, Charlie?
-Where can I reach you?
01:17:45.600 --> 01:17:47.465
Try Cambridge Circus.
01:18:02.217 --> 01:18:03.845
See you, Paddy.
01:18:54.306 --> 01:18:58.174
-You and me, darling. What do you say?
-I don't quite know what to say.
01:19:00.580 --> 01:19:02.207
Christ, you're a bloke!
01:19:02.282 --> 01:19:04.910
Ten out of ten, Sherlock.
01:19:25.973 --> 01:19:27.941
You fancy a drink or something?
01:19:29.978 --> 01:19:32.947
Campari and soda, if you don't mind.
01:19:33.147 --> 01:19:34.581
Of course I don't.
01:19:34.650 --> 01:19:37.016
Wouldn't have asked you otherwise,
would I?
01:19:37.086 --> 01:19:39.077
Campari and soda, please, mate.
01:19:44.994 --> 01:19:46.461
There you go, mate.
01:19:47.564 --> 01:19:48.552
Cheers.
01:19:54.571 --> 01:19:55.663
Thank you.
01:19:57.975 --> 01:20:01.308
-Crowded tonight.
-Oh, yes.
01:20:01.378 --> 01:20:04.939
-Football supporters?
-No, Royal Engineers.
01:20:05.116 --> 01:20:06.912
Oh, soldiers.
01:20:07.184 --> 01:20:09.378
Just come back from a tour of duty.
01:20:09.653 --> 01:20:13.647
-Aden? Cyprus? No, let me guess.
-Fucking Ulster.
01:20:15.794 --> 01:20:17.819
I haven't got anything
against the Irish, though, mind.
01:20:17.896 --> 01:20:21.457
-I hear they're very friendly.
-Don't know. Maybe.
01:20:24.035 --> 01:20:27.494
It's the politicians what fuck it up, though,
isn't it?
01:20:31.377 --> 01:20:33.072
Do you wanna dance?
01:20:34.814 --> 01:20:36.441
Yes, I'd love to.
01:20:51.130 --> 01:20:54.498
-You okay?
-Oh, yes. Super.
01:20:56.304 --> 01:20:58.465
You seem a little bit tense.
01:21:01.843 --> 01:21:03.902
Would you do something for me?
01:21:04.913 --> 01:21:06.278
Yeah, of course.
01:21:08.983 --> 01:21:11.543
Would you pretend your name's Bobby?
01:21:12.822 --> 01:21:13.880
Bobby who?
01:21:15.825 --> 01:21:17.292
Bobby Goldsboro.
01:21:19.361 --> 01:21:21.261
It's his song, you see.
01:21:23.132 --> 01:21:24.760
Bobby it is, then.
01:21:26.102 --> 01:21:30.266
All you have to do is plant a little tree...
01:21:30.607 --> 01:21:33.235
surprise me with a puppy...
01:21:33.977 --> 01:21:35.911
I'll hug your neck.
01:22:26.967 --> 01:22:29.231
Back. Go to the back end.
01:22:29.803 --> 01:22:31.737
Get as many men down as you can.
01:22:31.805 --> 01:22:33.830
All right, my love,
we're gonna get you out of here.
01:22:33.908 --> 01:22:36.434
Come on, my love. Can you stand?
01:22:39.681 --> 01:22:40.943
That's it.
01:22:41.016 --> 01:22:42.950
As many people as we can get out
through the door.
01:22:43.018 --> 01:22:44.645
Take my shoulder, love.
01:22:44.753 --> 01:22:46.653
You're all right, mate, I've got you.
01:22:46.721 --> 01:22:47.779
My tights.
01:22:47.856 --> 01:22:49.518
-Easy, easy.
-Steady down there. Steady.
01:22:49.592 --> 01:22:51.287
My tights! They're in ribbons.
01:22:51.360 --> 01:22:53.885
You're alive, love, that's the main thing.
Come on.
01:22:53.963 --> 01:22:56.523
I know what I'll have to do,
I'll have to get a new pair.
01:22:56.599 --> 01:22:59.033
There's no other way, I'm afraid.
01:23:02.238 --> 01:23:04.139
Keep still, darling.
Don't try and move, okay?
01:23:04.207 --> 01:23:06.334
Please, let us through now!
01:23:06.442 --> 01:23:07.808
Watch out.
01:23:09.146 --> 01:23:12.205
-I told you, from my best side, darlings.
-Bring the other ambulance.
01:23:12.282 --> 01:23:13.647
Slow down.
01:23:13.984 --> 01:23:15.884
That's it. Slowly now.
01:23:16.853 --> 01:23:19.822
Come on, get out of the way, please!
Come on.
01:23:20.258 --> 01:23:23.694
-Out of the way.
-Please, nurse, he's in so much pain.
01:23:25.330 --> 01:23:28.766
No, they're Christian Dior.
Do you really have to?
01:23:38.476 --> 01:23:42.937
How silly can you get,
putting an "X" across my weenie.
01:23:43.015 --> 01:23:48.010
Not so silly as 11 fucking people
blown to pieces...
01:23:48.088 --> 01:23:49.885
you twisted little cunt!
01:23:49.956 --> 01:23:53.585
Fucking baby-faced, fucking Irish murderer!
01:23:57.364 --> 01:23:59.696
I'm sorry, did you call?
01:24:00.734 --> 01:24:04.466
I can't quite see where you are.
I'm over here, you see.
01:24:05.206 --> 01:24:09.006
Millions of miles up here
with Sirius guarding my head.
01:24:09.076 --> 01:24:11.374
Tell him what he wants to know!
01:24:12.013 --> 01:24:15.540
It's free. Everyone thinks it's cold up here...
01:24:15.617 --> 01:24:17.084
but it's actually quite warm.
01:24:17.151 --> 01:24:20.679
Yes, it's warm as toast up on Pluto.
01:24:20.989 --> 01:24:21.978
Pluto.
01:24:23.992 --> 01:24:27.985
Don't try the fucking blarney on us, Paddy!
01:24:28.063 --> 01:24:31.227
We know you planted the fucking bomb!
01:24:31.567 --> 01:24:33.967
But of course I did, my darling.
01:24:34.037 --> 01:24:36.437
Why, I've planted hundreds of them.
01:24:36.506 --> 01:24:39.532
Have you now? Well, plant this!
01:24:44.248 --> 01:24:46.181
Hello, officer.
01:24:46.717 --> 01:24:48.206
I'm over here.
01:24:48.451 --> 01:24:51.148
Just take a left at the Milky Way.
01:24:51.588 --> 01:24:54.989
We'll travel to Mars and visit
01:24:55.059 --> 01:24:57.220
Christ, I can't fucking stand this!
01:24:57.294 --> 01:25:01.994
Listen, son,
why don't you just make a statement?
01:25:03.601 --> 01:25:06.866
A statement, officer?
Why didn't you just say so?
01:25:06.938 --> 01:25:10.897
Attaboy. There's no point
making it hard for all of us.
01:25:10.975 --> 01:25:14.605
Of course not.
After all, we're all friends here.
01:25:21.287 --> 01:25:26.246
Let's start with where you were
on Thursday, October 17th.
01:25:28.061 --> 01:25:32.589
I was in my little cell
working with my active service unit.
01:25:33.233 --> 01:25:35.427
But I was working undercover.
01:25:36.036 --> 01:25:37.435
Undercover?
01:25:43.044 --> 01:25:46.502
Oh, it's all coming back to me now.
Pen and paper, please.
01:25:55.790 --> 01:26:00.228
Patricia Kitten, a.k.a. Deep Throat...
01:26:00.295 --> 01:26:04.994
had penetrated the deepest recesses
of the Republican sphincter...
01:26:07.703 --> 01:26:11.002
with her secret anti-terrorist spray...
01:26:11.207 --> 01:26:15.405
named after Gabrielle Coco Chanel's
lucky number.
01:26:17.780 --> 01:26:20.078
The stability of Semtex
will be compromised.
01:26:20.150 --> 01:26:23.449
Oh, but, Lord, was she sick of that black.
01:26:25.156 --> 01:26:28.648
What is it with freedom fighters
and couture anyway?
01:26:43.408 --> 01:26:45.706
You've got fuse support and booster charge.
01:26:45.777 --> 01:26:48.644
What can I say?
We've got here the pressure plate--
01:26:57.290 --> 01:26:58.416
Stop
01:27:43.372 --> 01:27:45.169
Is there anyone here?
01:27:45.274 --> 01:27:47.242
Why won't he just talk to us?
01:27:47.309 --> 01:27:50.370
Did he or didn't he, dressed as a woman,
get caught by his own bomb?
01:27:50.446 --> 01:27:53.382
We've held him six days now.
Seven's the max.
01:28:04.595 --> 01:28:05.789
Paddy?
01:28:07.798 --> 01:28:11.564
-You all right?
-Fine. Absolutely wonderful.
01:28:13.170 --> 01:28:16.867
Meet us halfway, will you, Paddy?
Tell us why you came over here.
01:28:18.209 --> 01:28:20.474
Well, I was just looking for someone.
01:28:20.545 --> 01:28:24.003
-I was just looking for Eily Bergin.
-Who's Eily Bergin, Paddy?
01:28:26.084 --> 01:28:28.052
She's gone undercover now.
01:28:28.119 --> 01:28:30.748
The biggest city in the world
swallowed her up.
01:28:30.822 --> 01:28:33.758
Could she help us
with our inquiries, Paddy?
01:28:33.960 --> 01:28:35.222
She could help me with mine.
01:28:35.295 --> 01:28:38.264
Do you want us to find her?
Have you got an address?
01:28:39.865 --> 01:28:43.427
-You could try The House That Vanished.
-The House That Vanished.
01:28:44.871 --> 01:28:48.831
Oh, Christ. I think we're all losing it.
01:28:57.184 --> 01:29:00.983
We're gonna get some sleep now, Paddy.
We're gonna get some sleep.
01:29:01.323 --> 01:29:05.384
Look, I think we may have made a mistake.
01:29:06.861 --> 01:29:09.090
-Officer?
-What is it now?
01:29:09.964 --> 01:29:14.298
If you came home from the office
and you found me lying on the floor...
01:29:14.969 --> 01:29:18.564
-would you take me to the hospital?
-Well, of course I would.
01:29:19.342 --> 01:29:21.902
And would you carry me
like you're doing now?
01:29:22.545 --> 01:29:23.909
Well, yeah.
01:29:24.513 --> 01:29:29.382
So if I wasn't a transvestite terrorist,
would you marry me?
01:29:30.020 --> 01:29:31.919
No, for fuck's sake.
01:29:40.330 --> 01:29:43.561
Well, is Officer Wallis
gonna be a happy man or what?
01:29:43.633 --> 01:29:46.660
We've held you too long
by all accounts. Look.
01:29:48.639 --> 01:29:50.266
Oh, no, you can't.
01:29:50.875 --> 01:29:53.708
You can't. Not when I'm settling in so well.
01:29:58.584 --> 01:30:01.144
Take your head off my shoulder, son.
01:30:04.556 --> 01:30:06.922
You don't understand, Paddy.
We can't keep you here.
01:30:06.992 --> 01:30:08.960
It's impossible.
We couldn't even if we wanted to.
01:30:09.027 --> 01:30:12.121
Fuck this, I'm going on a long holiday.
Wife says I need it.
01:30:12.197 --> 01:30:13.460
Come on!
01:30:13.533 --> 01:30:16.798
Come on, just for one day.
It wouldn't kill you.
01:30:16.869 --> 01:30:18.963
Sorry, Paddy. It's impossible.
01:30:19.406 --> 01:30:22.432
-Okay, a half-a-day, please?
-No.
01:30:25.545 --> 01:30:27.741
Look, do you mind me asking?
01:30:27.815 --> 01:30:31.614
I mean, why do you wanna....
I mean, it don't make any sense.
01:30:32.119 --> 01:30:34.781
-It just makes me feel secure.
-Secure?
01:30:35.122 --> 01:30:36.487
Yes, you see, in the cell...
01:30:36.557 --> 01:30:40.391
sometimes I think my legs
are turning into air...
01:30:40.561 --> 01:30:43.690
and I'm floating in space, and I'm all alone.
01:30:43.832 --> 01:30:46.027
"Galactic aloneness," I've heard that called.
01:30:46.101 --> 01:30:47.796
Please, Routledge.
01:30:49.304 --> 01:30:51.101
I just wanna belong.
01:30:52.507 --> 01:30:57.241
I'd be your best prisoner.
I'd cook and I'd clean and I'd sweep...
01:30:57.313 --> 01:30:59.838
and I'd iron all the uniforms. I....
01:31:00.650 --> 01:31:02.549
-Hey, Paddy!
-I just wanna....
01:31:06.522 --> 01:31:08.888
No, I'm afraid it's goodbye now.
01:31:16.600 --> 01:31:19.933
All right, go get that bus there.
01:31:20.704 --> 01:31:21.863
Go on!
01:31:33.184 --> 01:31:35.652
Jennifer Jones and William Holden.
01:31:40.492 --> 01:31:42.825
Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing?
01:31:46.398 --> 01:31:48.524
Have you ever been in love?
01:31:53.440 --> 01:31:55.237
Once I thought I was.
01:31:56.009 --> 01:31:57.772
He was a lucky man.
01:32:02.382 --> 01:32:03.815
I'd pay you.
01:32:06.486 --> 01:32:08.887
I'd give you whatever you wanted.
01:32:10.558 --> 01:32:13.026
Whatever you wanted, I'd give you.
01:33:12.591 --> 01:33:14.991
That's my mammy! That's my mammy!
01:33:17.262 --> 01:33:19.059
Excuse me! Excuse me.
01:33:20.366 --> 01:33:22.800
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
01:33:26.639 --> 01:33:28.834
Excuse me. Excuse me, excuse me.
01:33:39.586 --> 01:33:40.780
Hello!
01:34:15.457 --> 01:34:18.325
Hello, sir. Can I be of assistance?
01:34:18.395 --> 01:34:21.887
I don't do anything heavy,
but aside from that I'd be more....
01:34:22.931 --> 01:34:25.162
I could have you arrested, you know.
01:34:25.235 --> 01:34:27.499
Well, icky-oakie me.
01:34:28.104 --> 01:34:29.298
Get in.
01:34:33.444 --> 01:34:35.912
This is no life
for a young man like you, Patrick.
01:34:35.980 --> 01:34:39.279
Well, cuff me then.
Carry me to my sweet cell.
01:34:39.350 --> 01:34:40.338
No.
01:34:41.285 --> 01:34:44.083
Oh, wait, you're not an actual punter,
are you? How exciting.
01:34:44.155 --> 01:34:48.421
No, it's not.... It's not that either.
It's a lot more serious than that, Patrick.
01:34:48.493 --> 01:34:52.054
Well, of course it is, of course it's serious.
Everything's serious.
01:34:52.130 --> 01:34:54.564
Oh, you're gonna die out there, Paddy!
01:34:58.738 --> 01:34:59.966
I know.
01:35:05.678 --> 01:35:08.078
Why don't you try and get a regular job?
01:35:08.681 --> 01:35:12.276
Well, to tell you the truth, Inspector,
I'm not that employable.
01:35:12.351 --> 01:35:13.842
So I gathered.
01:35:17.424 --> 01:35:18.914
Fucking hell.
01:35:26.934 --> 01:35:28.425
Come with me.
01:35:36.311 --> 01:35:39.872
A group of girls
got themselves off the street, Patrick.
01:35:40.148 --> 01:35:41.707
Set up a co-op.
01:35:42.485 --> 01:35:43.850
What do you mean, "co-op"?
01:35:43.918 --> 01:35:47.548
You know, like.... Sort of like....
A union, you could call it.
01:35:49.859 --> 01:35:51.053
Girls?
01:35:52.394 --> 01:35:54.487
Hello. Come on.
01:35:56.967 --> 01:35:59.868
It's not ideal, but it's safe...
01:36:00.804 --> 01:36:02.066
and legal.
01:36:02.139 --> 01:36:03.400
Casandra.
01:36:05.142 --> 01:36:07.042
Goddess of Destruction.
01:36:09.179 --> 01:36:11.774
-Girls? Hello.
-Hello.
01:36:11.848 --> 01:36:12.975
This is Patrick.
01:36:13.050 --> 01:36:14.540
-Hello, Patrick.
-Hello.
01:36:14.619 --> 01:36:16.746
He's a friend of mine, so be gentle.
Hello, Sam.
01:36:16.821 --> 01:36:19.654
We're always nice.
Patrick, do you wanna play poker?
01:36:19.724 --> 01:36:21.089
Love poker.
01:36:21.591 --> 01:36:23.389
-Yeah, we'll put him in.
-Are you all right?
01:36:23.461 --> 01:36:26.363
-You'll be working with us?
-I hope so. If you'll have me.
01:36:26.431 --> 01:36:27.762
We're a nice bunch here.
01:36:27.833 --> 01:36:30.495
-No bitchiness or nothing here.
-Look at his hair.
01:36:30.569 --> 01:36:32.696
-So where are you from?
-Cavan.
01:36:32.771 --> 01:36:35.262
Very nice. I'm from Dublin.
You'll do well here.
01:36:35.340 --> 01:36:38.366
You'll like us girls.
So you'll definitely like it here.
01:36:44.017 --> 01:36:46.952
Dear Charlie, sorry I haven't been in touch...
01:36:47.020 --> 01:36:49.750
and I hope that everything
is going fine with you.
01:36:49.823 --> 01:36:51.586
How's the bump?
01:36:51.658 --> 01:36:54.355
Just writing to say
that I've got a new address.
01:36:54.428 --> 01:36:57.397
It's Xanadu on Old Compton Street...
01:36:57.530 --> 01:37:00.159
and you can reach me there at any time.
01:37:00.234 --> 01:37:04.068
I'm saving like mad
to get over to see you when it happens in....
01:37:04.138 --> 01:37:07.700
What is it?
Four months, two weeks, and three days.
01:37:08.944 --> 01:37:10.138
Hello.
01:37:10.612 --> 01:37:12.239
Show me your bazoozums.
01:37:12.314 --> 01:37:14.748
-I beg your pardon?
-You know.
01:37:19.321 --> 01:37:20.754
What's that?
01:37:20.989 --> 01:37:24.721
Now, listen, sir,
we can't all have big bazoozums.
01:37:24.794 --> 01:37:27.627
Some of us are what you might call svelte.
01:37:27.763 --> 01:37:31.290
-Svelte?
-Yes. That's a Swedish word, I believe.
01:37:32.435 --> 01:37:35.871
-There's also a French one.
-Aye, give me the French.
01:37:35.937 --> 01:37:37.236
Gamine.
01:37:37.407 --> 01:37:40.570
-Gamine?
-Yes, and that's what I am, sir.
01:37:40.644 --> 01:37:42.612
A svelte gamine.
01:37:44.014 --> 01:37:48.609
How much is that doggy in the window?
01:37:49.319 --> 01:37:53.154
The one with the waggly tail
01:37:53.223 --> 01:37:57.092
Not "waggly," "waggedy." "Waggedy tail."
01:37:58.263 --> 01:38:00.230
Dear sir unseen, I know my music...
01:38:00.298 --> 01:38:04.394
and I'm willing to bet you 10 times
whatever pathetic price you paid in here...
01:38:04.469 --> 01:38:07.064
that the dog's tail is waggly.
01:38:08.674 --> 01:38:10.699
Now I wanna hear you bark.
01:38:21.354 --> 01:38:24.551
-Hello.
-Please don't do that.
01:38:28.194 --> 01:38:29.855
As you wish, sir.
01:38:34.302 --> 01:38:37.362
I don't do this sort of thing often.
01:38:37.438 --> 01:38:40.703
That's all right, sir, we've got lots of time.
01:38:47.014 --> 01:38:51.384
-I knew a boy like you once.
-Oh, I'm not a boy, sir, I'm a girl.
01:38:52.521 --> 01:38:56.150
-Oh, you're a girl.
-Yes.
01:38:57.259 --> 01:39:01.286
You can call me Patricia.
That's my name, sir.
01:39:02.265 --> 01:39:06.793
Can I tell you a story, Patricia?
01:39:06.869 --> 01:39:09.394
Oh, please do. Stories are what I love.
01:39:10.073 --> 01:39:13.474
-You love stories?
-Love stories.
01:39:14.444 --> 01:39:16.436
Even more than mysteries.
01:39:16.780 --> 01:39:19.442
Don't do that, please, please.
01:39:21.986 --> 01:39:24.477
Very well, sir, I'm all ears.
01:39:28.224 --> 01:39:32.822
Once upon a time, there was a boy
who never knew his father and mother.
01:39:33.597 --> 01:39:38.467
Oh, how sad. How unbearably sad.
Was he an unbearably sad little boy?
01:39:39.870 --> 01:39:44.069
He didn't seem so.
No, he laughed. He laughed a lot.
01:39:44.209 --> 01:39:48.476
Perhaps the kind of laughter
that disguises tears?
01:39:50.016 --> 01:39:53.952
Maybe laughter was the only way to...
01:39:57.123 --> 01:39:58.613
deal with....
01:40:00.460 --> 01:40:02.690
Please go on. To deal with....
01:40:03.563 --> 01:40:06.225
To deal with his circumstances.
01:40:09.403 --> 01:40:12.566
You seem to understand this boy
quite well, sir.
01:40:13.608 --> 01:40:15.303
I knew his father.
01:40:17.879 --> 01:40:18.971
And?
01:40:19.913 --> 01:40:21.108
And...
01:40:21.749 --> 01:40:25.412
though his father loved him very much...
01:40:25.486 --> 01:40:30.186
he could never tell the boy how much....
01:40:30.859 --> 01:40:32.120
How much?
01:40:35.464 --> 01:40:38.661
He could never tell the boy
how much he loved him.
01:40:40.002 --> 01:40:42.369
Well, this can't be a true story. It can't be.
01:40:42.439 --> 01:40:43.599
Why not?
01:40:43.673 --> 01:40:46.141
Why could he not tell the boy
how much he loved him?
01:40:46.208 --> 01:40:48.006
Because he didn't know how.
01:40:49.112 --> 01:40:54.049
He had the words for many things, you see,
but he didn't have the words for that.
01:40:54.150 --> 01:40:57.746
There are only three words for that.
They're easy to say.
01:40:57.922 --> 01:40:59.389
Sometimes they are.
01:41:00.691 --> 01:41:03.524
Other times, they're not.
Other times, they're....
01:41:03.761 --> 01:41:05.661
They're impossible.
01:41:07.131 --> 01:41:11.967
And he loved the boy's mother, too,
but that was equally impossible.
01:41:18.643 --> 01:41:20.668
So he never told the boy?
01:41:23.614 --> 01:41:26.483
He never told him and then the boy left...
01:41:27.153 --> 01:41:31.522
and came to England, and the father had...
01:41:40.100 --> 01:41:44.832
lots of time to think about all the things...
01:41:45.873 --> 01:41:50.003
all the things that might have been,
should have been.
01:41:50.444 --> 01:41:53.277
He had all the time in the world to think.
01:41:54.516 --> 01:41:56.643
And what did he think about?
01:41:57.252 --> 01:42:01.951
He thought, he imagined perhaps,
that the boy had come to England...
01:42:02.023 --> 01:42:03.923
looking for his mother.
01:42:06.327 --> 01:42:08.660
And what was his mother's name?
01:42:09.231 --> 01:42:12.723
-Her name was Eily. Eily Bergin.
-Oh, God.
01:42:13.369 --> 01:42:16.634
And so the father thought
the one thing he could do...
01:42:16.705 --> 01:42:19.673
was tell him where he could find his mother.
01:42:22.812 --> 01:42:25.906
-Where to find the Phantom Lady?
-What?
01:42:25.982 --> 01:42:27.916
Please, go on.
01:42:29.152 --> 01:42:31.382
She married, had two children.
01:42:31.655 --> 01:42:35.091
-Probably won't want to see him.
-But where does she live?
01:42:36.427 --> 01:42:39.828
19 Spencer Rise, in Kilburn.
01:43:00.986 --> 01:43:03.420
'Cause you know what I want,
I want English...
01:43:03.488 --> 01:43:08.449
-I want conservative, I want East Finchley...
-Yeah.
01:43:08.528 --> 01:43:11.964
...I want powerful.
01:43:12.865 --> 01:43:15.925
-You think it works?
-I think you look better than her.
01:43:16.402 --> 01:43:18.733
-I do look better than her, don't I?
-You do.
01:44:03.754 --> 01:44:05.517
Do you need help, miss?
01:44:07.457 --> 01:44:12.326
Yes, I'm doing a survey for British Telecom.
01:44:14.230 --> 01:44:18.760
-Do you know where 19 Spencer Rise is?
-That's my house. There.
01:44:18.969 --> 01:44:20.460
It's your....
01:44:20.738 --> 01:44:24.674
-Can't you read numbers?
-No, yes, I can read numbers.
01:44:25.743 --> 01:44:27.643
So, what's the survey?
01:44:28.513 --> 01:44:31.540
Well, it's about telephones.
01:44:32.785 --> 01:44:35.811
-Do you have a telephone?
-Everyone has a telephone.
01:44:35.921 --> 01:44:40.017
No, not everyone, young man.
Some people can't afford one.
01:44:40.258 --> 01:44:41.748
Well, we can.
01:44:43.028 --> 01:44:44.222
I see.
01:44:47.867 --> 01:44:50.836
-And so what is your name?
-My name's Patrick.
01:44:53.206 --> 01:44:54.467
Patrick.
01:44:55.075 --> 01:44:57.008
Patrick.
01:44:57.543 --> 01:44:59.513
And how many phones
do you have, Patrick?
01:44:59.580 --> 01:45:02.013
Shouldn't you be asking my mother?
01:45:03.217 --> 01:45:05.879
Yes. Yes, of course I should.
01:45:07.655 --> 01:45:09.452
And where would I find her?
01:45:10.825 --> 01:45:14.091
Mum, there's a nice lady here
doing a survey....
01:45:17.932 --> 01:45:19.833
Are you.... Oh, my God!
01:45:24.473 --> 01:45:26.703
-You feeling better, love?
-Oh, yes, thank you.
01:45:26.775 --> 01:45:29.301
-Some more tea?
-No, thank you.
01:45:31.547 --> 01:45:35.381
So, what's this survey about, then?
01:45:37.487 --> 01:45:41.389
-It's about phones, Mum.
-Phones? With Telecom?
01:45:42.291 --> 01:45:44.123
Yes, British Telecom.
01:45:52.803 --> 01:45:56.763
-Are you a multi-phone household?
-Yes. Yes, we've got three.
01:45:56.908 --> 01:46:00.674
One in the bedroom, one in the kitchen,
and one in Geoffrey's office.
01:46:02.980 --> 01:46:06.473
-Geoffrey....
-Is my husband.
01:46:14.193 --> 01:46:15.387
Sorry.
01:46:18.764 --> 01:46:21.062
How frequently is your telephone used?
01:46:22.435 --> 01:46:26.099
Very. Laura's never off it.
01:46:26.639 --> 01:46:27.868
Laura?
01:46:29.376 --> 01:46:31.935
My daughter. She's 13.
01:46:32.712 --> 01:46:34.474
I see, I see.
01:46:35.415 --> 01:46:37.849
You don't have much use for the phone,
though, do you, Patrick?
01:46:37.917 --> 01:46:39.784
No, I suppose not.
01:46:46.194 --> 01:46:50.324
-Well, Miss....
-Johnson. Delia Johnston.
01:46:50.665 --> 01:46:51.962
Johnston.
01:46:53.567 --> 01:46:56.595
If you've any other questions,
don't hesitate to call.
01:46:57.539 --> 01:47:00.599
No, I think I have more than enough,
thank you.
01:47:06.381 --> 01:47:08.907
-Thank you for the tea.
-Oh, you're welcome.
01:47:09.018 --> 01:47:10.178
Bye.
01:47:30.474 --> 01:47:32.704
Shouldn't you have a uniform?
01:47:33.844 --> 01:47:36.176
No, I shouldn't have a uniform.
01:47:36.547 --> 01:47:39.210
The men who put the phones in
have a uniform.
01:47:39.284 --> 01:47:40.716
Do they, now?
01:47:40.852 --> 01:47:43.685
-Aren't they from Telecom?
-Yes, they are.
01:47:44.523 --> 01:47:46.889
Then how come Telecom don't know
how many phones we have?
01:47:46.958 --> 01:47:49.392
Well, because
it's from a different department.
01:47:49.461 --> 01:47:52.295
Why don't you just phone up, then,
and ask the questions?
01:47:52.365 --> 01:47:54.799
Because there's nothing
like the personal touch, now, is there?
01:47:54.867 --> 01:47:55.891
Why don't--
01:47:55.968 --> 01:47:59.597
Young man,
I get the feeling you don't like me.
01:48:00.473 --> 01:48:02.907
You're wrong. I think you're nice.
01:48:04.910 --> 01:48:07.244
Well, I think you're nice, too.
01:48:07.514 --> 01:48:11.381
-Why are you crying?
-It's conjunctivitis.
01:48:12.519 --> 01:48:15.750
I gave your address to Father Liam,
and I hope you don't mind.
01:48:15.822 --> 01:48:19.781
He's been very kind to me, Kitten,
and I need all the kindness I can get.
01:48:20.094 --> 01:48:23.188
The Special Branch lifted me
on a dope charge, you see.
01:48:23.264 --> 01:48:25.789
And they used that to get to Irwin.
01:48:26.834 --> 01:48:29.302
They lifted Charlie on the dope charge.
01:48:31.172 --> 01:48:33.663
They said she'd be having the baby
in prison, if I didn't--
01:48:33.741 --> 01:48:35.801
If you didn't what, Irwin?
01:48:39.081 --> 01:48:41.879
If I didn't inform them about operations.
01:48:44.053 --> 01:48:45.577
-You do it.
-No, you do it.
01:48:45.654 --> 01:48:48.556
I can't. I went to school with his brother.
01:48:48.858 --> 01:48:50.792
Hey, lads, did you hear the one
about the Cavan man?
01:48:50.860 --> 01:48:53.192
-What Cavan man?
-Cavan man in--
01:49:44.083 --> 01:49:45.915
What will I call you?
01:49:47.221 --> 01:49:48.449
Father.
01:49:52.192 --> 01:49:54.092
You call me "Father." Come in.
01:50:01.970 --> 01:50:03.198
I can't.
01:50:04.406 --> 01:50:07.375
I prayed, you know.
I prayed you'd come back.
01:50:09.110 --> 01:50:10.668
Did you find her?
01:50:10.745 --> 01:50:14.307
Yes. No. Kind of.
01:50:16.986 --> 01:50:18.578
Where's Charlie?
01:50:19.822 --> 01:50:21.813
She's upstairs. Come on.
01:50:26.562 --> 01:50:28.724
After the drugs charge,
there were problems at home...
01:50:28.799 --> 01:50:30.426
so I took her in.
01:50:31.201 --> 01:50:34.227
She hardly eats a thing, you know.
She's wasting away.
01:50:41.912 --> 01:50:43.676
Maybe you could....
01:50:45.049 --> 01:50:47.882
-Where do you sleep, Father?
-Don't worry about me.
01:50:52.590 --> 01:50:53.579
Charlie.
01:50:57.796 --> 01:50:59.593
Is that you, Kitten?
01:51:00.199 --> 01:51:04.397
Charlie. Take it easy now.
01:51:05.471 --> 01:51:06.961
Swann's Cross.
01:51:07.973 --> 01:51:11.374
-They put a rubbish bag over his head.
-Hush, Charlie.
01:51:12.277 --> 01:51:14.768
My parents told me
to go back where I came from.
01:51:14.848 --> 01:51:17.078
Don't think about it, Charlie.
01:51:17.383 --> 01:51:19.908
Your baby, that's all that matters now.
01:51:21.521 --> 01:51:23.512
And I'm here to help you.
01:51:54.757 --> 01:51:58.249
Robins, Father. Would you believe it?
Pecking at the cream.
01:51:58.326 --> 01:52:00.659
I'm sure the poor things must be starved.
01:52:00.730 --> 01:52:01.719
Ta.
01:52:13.544 --> 01:52:17.002
You have your mother's eyes,
do you know that, Patrick?
01:52:17.481 --> 01:52:20.382
Color of the ocean beyond Rosses Point.
01:52:24.389 --> 01:52:26.118
You took her there?
01:52:30.595 --> 01:52:31.994
Many times.
01:52:34.899 --> 01:52:37.630
Things could have been so different.
01:52:39.071 --> 01:52:40.833
Don't say anything.
01:52:43.075 --> 01:52:45.543
Because, you know, the strangest thing...
01:52:46.245 --> 01:52:47.974
I went looking for her...
01:52:49.515 --> 01:52:51.142
but I found you.
01:53:04.497 --> 01:53:07.057
No, in the end it was a blessed release.
01:53:07.134 --> 01:53:11.093
She was a lovely woman.
She never missed a day at Mass.
01:53:11.172 --> 01:53:13.902
When they opened her up,
they found a lump as big as a melon.
01:53:13.975 --> 01:53:15.943
A melon? That big?
01:53:16.344 --> 01:53:19.438
Maybe it was a grapefruit.
I get them mixed up.
01:53:19.647 --> 01:53:23.106
So, we're not exactly blessed with choice,
Father, dear.
01:53:24.286 --> 01:53:27.345
And is there any rule
that says that when you're pregnant...
01:53:27.422 --> 01:53:29.413
you need to dress like a lollipop lady?
01:53:29.491 --> 01:53:33.325
-I know of no such rule, Patrick.
-No, so I thought.
01:53:35.031 --> 01:53:38.330
This little hippy number
might give her the lift she needs.
01:53:38.401 --> 01:53:39.527
Very nice.
01:53:39.602 --> 01:53:40.830
Velvet, Father.
01:53:40.904 --> 01:53:42.667
Like crushed grass.
01:53:43.072 --> 01:53:44.562
Look, Father.
01:53:48.478 --> 01:53:50.810
Oh, can we try the silver fur, missus?
01:53:51.615 --> 01:53:53.081
Is it for yourself?
01:53:55.519 --> 01:54:00.422
Twenty-five different colored Babygros.
Four teddy bears, I can understand...
01:54:00.557 --> 01:54:03.686
-but I don't need a pram yet, Kitten.
-You will.
01:54:04.696 --> 01:54:08.029
-Where did you get the money?
-Oh, singing.
01:54:09.701 --> 01:54:12.829
How much is that doggy in the window?
01:54:13.204 --> 01:54:15.763
The one with the
01:54:16.975 --> 01:54:20.468
-Is it waggedy or waggly, Charlie?
-Waggly.
01:54:21.414 --> 01:54:23.404
No, wait a minute.
01:54:23.582 --> 01:54:26.210
-Oh, Father?
-Yes.
01:54:26.285 --> 01:54:31.245
You know the doggy with the tail?
Is it waggly or waggedy?
01:54:31.525 --> 01:54:32.822
The song?
01:54:33.694 --> 01:54:37.596
Waggedy, I seem to remember.
Your mother never stopped singing it.
01:54:37.663 --> 01:54:39.029
Aye, waggedy tail.
01:54:39.099 --> 01:54:40.225
Waggedy.
01:54:40.299 --> 01:54:44.327
How much is that doggy in the window?
01:54:44.438 --> 01:54:48.136
The one with the waggedy tail
01:54:48.543 --> 01:54:52.172
How much is that doggy in the window?
01:54:52.246 --> 01:54:54.680
Oh, Jesus Christ and his holy mother.
01:54:55.383 --> 01:54:57.544
-Why doesn't the Bishop do something?
-The Bishop!
01:54:57.618 --> 01:54:59.916
The Bishop we have isn't worth a damn.
01:55:15.337 --> 01:55:17.329
Do you know something, Thomas?
01:55:17.407 --> 01:55:20.604
There are times
when I wish I was a bus conductor.
01:57:41.761 --> 01:57:43.955
...the welfare state and all.
01:57:44.029 --> 01:57:46.054
Can't stay here, anyways.
01:57:46.166 --> 01:57:49.158
But you'll come and see us, Father?
After the baby's--
01:57:49.235 --> 01:57:54.230
Well, the only parish I've been offered
is in Kilburn, so you might see a lot of me.
01:58:03.049 --> 01:58:05.109
You saved my life, Father.
01:58:07.289 --> 01:58:08.586
And mine.
01:58:14.328 --> 01:58:16.388
Great, big, fireproof man.
01:58:34.818 --> 01:58:38.015
Come on, Charlie, push! Push!
01:58:38.088 --> 01:58:40.682
I am pushing, Kitten, fuck you!
01:58:40.757 --> 01:58:42.782
-I am pushing!
-Breathe.
01:58:42.859 --> 01:58:45.019
-Jesus!
-Come on.
01:58:45.295 --> 01:58:47.024
It's tearing me apart!
01:58:57.041 --> 01:58:59.874
Hey, you're the telephone lady.
01:59:02.614 --> 01:59:06.210
If it isn't the young boy
from the multi-phone household.
01:59:06.452 --> 01:59:07.680
What are you doing here?
01:59:07.753 --> 01:59:11.917
Mum's with the doctor.
She's, you know, got a bun in the fireplace.
01:59:13.993 --> 01:59:17.760
-I think you mean the oven, young man.
-Okay, then, the oven.
01:59:17.964 --> 01:59:19.625
What's your name?
01:59:24.137 --> 01:59:25.627
Phantom Lady.
01:59:26.239 --> 01:59:29.640
-That's a funny name.
-I know that. I'm a funny lady.
01:59:30.944 --> 01:59:34.676
-Is that your baby?
-No, it's hers.
01:59:37.018 --> 01:59:39.885
She's having her fireplace checked.
01:59:40.488 --> 01:59:42.854
Isn't she? Yes, she is.
01:59:44.125 --> 01:59:47.357
-Charlie, darling, this is--
-Patrick.
01:59:48.196 --> 01:59:50.221
This is my young friend Patrick.
01:59:50.632 --> 01:59:52.623
So, how's your fireplace?
01:59:55.971 --> 02:00:00.841
And your little bun is just fine, too,
aren't you? Yes, you are.
02:00:07.016 --> 02:00:10.850
Patrick, there's your mum. You'd better run.
02:00:11.387 --> 02:00:12.513
Okay.
02:00:13.256 --> 02:00:16.749
Patrick, will you tell her that...
02:00:17.194 --> 02:00:21.755
the telephone lady says
that she hopes it's a girl this time.
02:00:21.832 --> 02:00:23.527
-Okay.
-Okay.
02:00:23.551 --> 02:00:43.551
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