WEBVTT 00:00:00.180 --> 00:00:20.180 ..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::.. ‏.:: www.bolboljan.net ::. 00:00:36.204 --> 00:00:39.457 (FABRIC FLAPPING) 00:00:45.338 --> 00:00:48.716 - (WIND CONTINUES HOWLING) - (SNOW PATTERS) 00:00:59.477 --> 00:01:03.565 (LIGHT SNORING) 00:01:15.493 --> 00:01:18.288 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 00:01:46.691 --> 00:01:49.068 (METAL PICK HITS ICE) 00:01:51.696 --> 00:01:53.948 (CREAKING) 00:02:02.415 --> 00:02:05.627 (PULLEYS RATCHETING) 00:02:50.630 --> 00:02:52.674 - MAN #1: Mmm. - Thank you, dear. 00:02:52.757 --> 00:02:54.842 WOMAN: 'Cause they're extra-special, filled with... 00:02:54.926 --> 00:02:55.885 MAN #2: Brussels sprouts. 00:02:55.968 --> 00:02:58.471 We get the surf and turf. You guys get. 00:02:58.554 --> 00:03:00.932 - We get the full-on Brussels sprout... - MAN #2: Nice. 00:03:01.015 --> 00:03:02.600 Extravaganza. 00:03:03.643 --> 00:03:05.186 I can always... 00:03:05.269 --> 00:03:08.022 put it back out there a little bit if it's not... 00:03:19.492 --> 00:03:23.037 WOMAN: When Conrad and I first got married, he made all these promises. 00:03:23.121 --> 00:03:26.416 "Oh, I'm never gonna go to the big mountains again." 00:03:27.625 --> 00:03:30.044 I knew he would never quit climbing... 00:03:30.128 --> 00:03:35.383 but it wasn't long before he was dreaming of some other big expedition. 00:03:35.466 --> 00:03:38.594 And I was just rolling my eyes, going, "Right, okay." 00:03:41.681 --> 00:03:44.308 CONRAD: High-altitude Himalayan climbing is very risky. 00:03:44.392 --> 00:03:46.644 It is the most dangerous professional sport. 00:03:46.728 --> 00:03:50.231 But I think with Meru, that risk is worth it. 00:03:50.314 --> 00:03:53.609 As an Alpinist, Meru is the culmination of all I've done... 00:03:53.693 --> 00:03:57.321 and all I've wanted to do is this peak and this climb. 00:03:59.157 --> 00:04:02.034 WOMAN: I knew he was gonna continue to climb forever... 00:04:02.118 --> 00:04:04.704 but, you know, in what aspect, I wasn't sure. 00:04:05.997 --> 00:04:08.583 I know that stuff can happen. 00:04:08.666 --> 00:04:10.626 You know, and that's what I always say. 00:04:10.710 --> 00:04:12.712 "Yeah, yeah." 00:04:12.795 --> 00:04:14.422 But stuff can happen. 00:04:14.505 --> 00:04:17.550 (HORNS HONKING) 00:04:31.022 --> 00:04:34.442 (ENGINE WHIRRING) 00:04:34.525 --> 00:04:37.528 (CHATTERING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 00:04:46.662 --> 00:04:49.123 (HONKING) 00:04:49.207 --> 00:04:52.960 I've been super carsick for about an hour now. 00:04:53.044 --> 00:04:56.380 - How you doin', Jimmy? - (GROANING) 00:05:05.389 --> 00:05:09.727 We just airmailed a bunch of our stuff off the top of our... truck... 00:05:09.811 --> 00:05:12.063 so we're pickin' up the pieces right now. 00:05:18.361 --> 00:05:21.823 Meru definitely had a reputation as this impossible climb. 00:05:24.325 --> 00:05:28.246 And I also knew, just by the way that Conrad brought the trip up... 00:05:28.329 --> 00:05:32.083 it was very nonchalant, so... (CHUCKLES) 00:05:32.166 --> 00:05:35.086 I think the more nonchalant Conrad is... 00:05:35.169 --> 00:05:39.757 about suggesting a trip, the more worried you oughta be. (LAUGHS) 00:05:56.816 --> 00:05:58.317 Oh, yeah. 00:05:58.401 --> 00:06:02.363 (SCATTERED CHATTER) 00:06:02.446 --> 00:06:03.447 (GROANS) 00:06:03.531 --> 00:06:08.452 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 00:06:08.536 --> 00:06:12.206 - (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) - (MAN LAUGHING) 00:06:15.209 --> 00:06:20.006 MAN: I was blown away when Jimmy and Conrad approached me about Meru. 00:06:20.089 --> 00:06:22.174 They didn't build it up very much. 00:06:22.258 --> 00:06:27.221 They didn't say, "This is the mountain that everyone's tried and failed on." 00:06:27.305 --> 00:06:31.392 In their minds, I was probably... "Oh, here's some young, fresh blood." 00:06:31.475 --> 00:06:34.020 He's gonna be good at... 00:06:34.103 --> 00:06:37.148 to get the rope up on certain pitches. 00:06:37.231 --> 00:06:40.568 (BELL RINGS) 00:06:43.863 --> 00:06:46.616 (JINGLES) 00:06:46.699 --> 00:06:50.286 (RINGING CONTINUES) 00:07:12.934 --> 00:07:14.435 JIMMY: Namaste. 00:07:16.938 --> 00:07:18.439 (JIMMY MURMURS) 00:07:18.522 --> 00:07:23.486 (MAN VOCALIZING) 00:07:35.706 --> 00:07:37.416 - Woo-hoo! - JIMMY: Woo-hoo! 00:07:37.500 --> 00:07:40.544 - Look at this reveal here. Yes! Om, om. - (CHUCKLES) 00:07:42.588 --> 00:07:44.048 Whoo. 00:07:47.218 --> 00:07:49.387 MAN: The Shark's Fin on Meru central. 00:07:51.222 --> 00:07:55.393 This climb has seen more attempts and more failures than any route in the Himalaya. 00:07:56.602 --> 00:07:58.938 (CHUCKLES) Wow. 00:08:00.731 --> 00:08:02.608 - (MAN CONTINUES) - It's the headwaters of the Ganges River... 00:08:02.692 --> 00:08:05.361 one of the most sacred rivers on Earth. 00:08:05.444 --> 00:08:08.572 The center of the universe. It's this weird nexus... 00:08:08.656 --> 00:08:14.120 that sort of is the point where heaven and Earth and hell all come together. 00:08:16.956 --> 00:08:20.292 The thing that gives it the name the Shark's Fin is this 1,500-foot blade... 00:08:20.376 --> 00:08:22.878 of this beautiful, flawless granite... 00:08:22.962 --> 00:08:25.131 way up high, you know, 20,000 feet. 00:08:26.465 --> 00:08:30.553 This is the test of the master climber. 00:08:30.636 --> 00:08:34.849 You know, it's been tried by so many great climbers. I don't know, 20 times. 00:08:34.932 --> 00:08:38.936 Some of the best climbers in the world have tried and failed on this route. 00:08:39.729 --> 00:08:41.564 (SLIDE PROJECTOR CLICKING) 00:08:41.647 --> 00:08:43.524 - (KRAKAUER CONTINUES) - Meru is not just hard. 00:08:43.607 --> 00:08:46.694 It's hard in this really complicated way. 00:08:46.777 --> 00:08:48.362 You can't just be a good ice climber. 00:08:48.446 --> 00:08:51.991 You can't just be good at altitude. You can't just be a good rock climber. 00:08:52.074 --> 00:08:54.660 You gotta be able to ice climb, mix climb. 00:08:54.744 --> 00:08:59.874 And you gotta be able to do big-wall climbing at 20,000 feet. 00:08:59.957 --> 00:09:02.460 It's all that stuff wrapped in one package... 00:09:02.543 --> 00:09:05.046 that's defeated so many good climbers... 00:09:05.129 --> 00:09:09.216 and will probably defeat you and maybe will defeat everybody for all time. 00:09:09.300 --> 00:09:11.719 That, to a certain kind of mind-set... 00:09:11.802 --> 00:09:13.971 is an irresistible appeal. 00:09:30.905 --> 00:09:33.657 RENAN: When we actually got there, and I looked up at the mountain... 00:09:33.741 --> 00:09:36.994 I didn't know... what... 00:09:37.078 --> 00:09:40.956 what we were getting into, 'cause I'd never seen something that complex before. 00:09:43.542 --> 00:09:47.505 CONRAD: Renan's inexperience really didn't give me any reason to pause. 00:09:47.588 --> 00:09:50.132 I knew he was strong enough. He knew the systems. 00:09:50.216 --> 00:09:54.428 And as a team, you're the sum total of all your experience. 00:09:59.058 --> 00:10:02.144 RENAN: I'd been on a number of expeditions with Conrad. 00:10:02.228 --> 00:10:04.939 But I hadn't done any serious climbs with him. 00:10:05.981 --> 00:10:08.442 And I had never done a climb with Jimmy. 00:10:09.652 --> 00:10:11.570 (CARABINERS CLINKING) 00:10:12.947 --> 00:10:16.617 I'm so adamant about only going on expeditions... 00:10:16.700 --> 00:10:19.620 with people that I know and that I trust. 00:10:19.703 --> 00:10:21.789 And there's one exception to that rule... 00:10:21.872 --> 00:10:27.169 and that's if somebody that I really, really trust and know well, like Conrad... 00:10:27.253 --> 00:10:30.089 says, "This guy's worth bringing up." 00:10:33.342 --> 00:10:36.804 CONRAD: I had heard about Renan, and I'd seen him in a climbing film... 00:10:36.887 --> 00:10:39.557 where he was, uh, free soloing North Six Shooter. 00:10:40.933 --> 00:10:43.394 So I was like, "Okay. Gotta meet Renan." 00:10:45.896 --> 00:10:51.652 KRAKAUER: I saw this clip of Renan free soloing Lighting Bolt Cracks. 00:10:51.735 --> 00:10:54.029 You see him do that stuff, and it looks out there. 00:10:54.113 --> 00:10:58.492 He looks like something's lit a fire under him. 00:10:58.576 --> 00:11:02.079 JIMMY: I heard about this kid who's a super-talented climber. 00:11:02.163 --> 00:11:05.082 And he was living on the road... 00:11:05.166 --> 00:11:07.084 like most climbing bums... 00:11:07.168 --> 00:11:10.671 especially climbers that are coming into the scene. 00:11:10.754 --> 00:11:12.715 Except for he didn't even have a car. 00:11:12.798 --> 00:11:16.427 He was literally just dropped off in the desert. 00:11:21.140 --> 00:11:22.641 (PENCIL SCRATCHING) 00:11:26.770 --> 00:11:31.066 When I first met Renan, he was mostly creating art in sketchbooks. 00:11:31.150 --> 00:11:33.194 Smaller-scale stuff. 00:11:33.277 --> 00:11:37.198 And then he started taking big canvases out on expeditions. 00:11:37.281 --> 00:11:39.950 'Cause he was- At this point, he was starting to go on more expeditions. 00:11:40.034 --> 00:11:45.789 Every opportunity was appreciated, and he was basically going nonstop. 00:12:02.014 --> 00:12:03.515 Whew. 00:12:04.725 --> 00:12:08.437 5:30 in the evening. Time to start the route. 00:12:10.481 --> 00:12:14.318 It's... crisp and cold. 00:12:14.401 --> 00:12:16.612 We're waiting for the sun to move away. 00:12:16.695 --> 00:12:18.656 So it'll set up and will freeze. 00:12:19.531 --> 00:12:21.325 (BLOWS) 00:12:21.408 --> 00:12:23.369 Uh, this is the best moment- 00:12:23.452 --> 00:12:28.832 That... moment where everything comes down, and you're really starting. 00:12:28.916 --> 00:12:32.503 Of course, I said that when we left Gangotri and when we left Bozeman. 00:12:32.586 --> 00:12:37.007 But... now we're gonna camp on the mountain tonight. 00:12:42.346 --> 00:12:45.099 KRAKAUER: Conrad first tried Meru in 2003... 00:12:45.182 --> 00:12:47.059 and got his ass kicked. 00:12:47.142 --> 00:12:50.396 It was super-technical climbing. This isn't Everest. 00:12:50.479 --> 00:12:52.773 This is a whole different kind of climbing. 00:12:52.856 --> 00:12:55.776 'Cause on Everest, you can hire Sherpas to carry all your stuff... 00:12:55.859 --> 00:12:58.320 to fix the ropes for you, to take most of the risks. 00:12:58.404 --> 00:13:00.948 Jimmy and Conrad have climbed Everest four or five times. 00:13:01.031 --> 00:13:02.950 Jimmy's even skied off the top. 00:13:03.033 --> 00:13:05.119 But Meru is the anti-Everest. 00:13:05.202 --> 00:13:07.037 No one's gonna carry your stuff. 00:13:07.121 --> 00:13:09.707 If you need it, you need to carry it on your back. 00:13:09.790 --> 00:13:12.418 And for Meru, you need a lot of tools to do the job. 00:13:12.501 --> 00:13:15.212 Because the climbing covers the whole spectrum. 00:13:16.380 --> 00:13:19.967 This upper 1,500 feet, the Shark's Fin, is smooth. 00:13:20.050 --> 00:13:22.845 It's clean. It's nearly featureless. 00:13:22.928 --> 00:13:27.599 But below that is 4,000 feet of really gnarly climbing- this fluted snow. 00:13:27.683 --> 00:13:29.184 Dangerous, exposed. 00:13:30.936 --> 00:13:35.065 So, time after time, guys would do that first 4,000 feet, light and fast... 00:13:35.149 --> 00:13:36.859 thinkin' they're really studs. 00:13:36.942 --> 00:13:39.320 And then they get to the Fin, and it's a big wall. 00:13:39.403 --> 00:13:42.197 And you gotta use big wall techniques on the upper part of Meru. 00:13:42.281 --> 00:13:44.658 And you gotta go slow for that kind of climbing. 00:13:44.742 --> 00:13:47.244 Maybe you'll only do 200 feet in a day. 00:13:47.328 --> 00:13:50.539 Maybe it's gonna take you six or seven days to do that top 1,500 feet. 00:13:50.622 --> 00:13:53.862 And if it's gonna take you that long, if you're going slow, you need a portaledge. 00:13:53.917 --> 00:13:56.378 You need food and water and fuel. 00:13:56.462 --> 00:13:59.006 Pretty soon, that's, like, 200 pounds of stuff. 00:13:59.089 --> 00:14:01.842 You need a big wall rack, 50 pounds of iron. 00:14:01.925 --> 00:14:06.347 So you gotta get that 200 pounds of crap up the first 4,000 feet. 00:14:06.430 --> 00:14:08.140 And none of the previous climbers- 00:14:08.223 --> 00:14:10.642 and Conrad, his first time- they couldn't believe that. 00:14:10.726 --> 00:14:13.645 - They're not gonna climb that way. - (GROANS) 00:14:13.729 --> 00:14:17.524 Humpin' loads. Feel the altitude a bit. 00:14:17.608 --> 00:14:20.027 KRAKUER: But Conrad after that first time said, "Huh." 00:14:20.110 --> 00:14:22.571 Here's the deal. I see this, this epiphany. 00:14:22.654 --> 00:14:25.949 You gotta do this big wall style and get your stuff up there. 00:14:26.033 --> 00:14:28.452 (THUMPING FOOTSTEPS ON SNOW) 00:14:42.299 --> 00:14:43.425 - (METAL CLINKING) - (MURMURS) 00:14:43.509 --> 00:14:45.761 - JIMMY: Man, how's it going? - It's goin'... 00:14:47.304 --> 00:14:51.767 Nighttime ops. Out climbing. Luckily, the screws are solid. 00:14:54.436 --> 00:14:56.647 Now, why do we do this stuff? 00:14:57.981 --> 00:15:00.776 The view. The view. 00:15:08.117 --> 00:15:11.912 I think it's 2:00 in the morning. We went for the ghetto bivy... 00:15:11.995 --> 00:15:14.206 on the shoulder instead of setting up the ledge. 00:15:14.289 --> 00:15:18.085 It's a lot easier. We got some Korean- 00:15:18.168 --> 00:15:23.048 JIMMY: Tell us the reason why- the real reason why we didn't set up anything. 00:15:23.132 --> 00:15:26.635 - (BOTH CHUCKLES) - 'Cause we're worked a little bit maybe. 00:15:28.178 --> 00:15:32.808 Could be worse. The sky could be, like, unloading on us right now. 00:15:34.768 --> 00:15:37.187 Look what's happening over here. 00:15:38.522 --> 00:15:41.483 That's Conrad lying in the snow. 00:15:42.776 --> 00:15:45.821 And here's my really pathetic bivy. 00:15:45.904 --> 00:15:48.866 (SHIVERING) Oh, grim. 00:15:48.949 --> 00:15:52.744 You know it's grim when you're... Yeah. 00:15:52.828 --> 00:15:55.622 - When you bivy directly on the snow. - JIMMY: Yeah. 00:15:55.706 --> 00:15:58.459 And it's snowing out a little bit too. 00:15:58.542 --> 00:16:01.795 (JIMMY CHUCKLES) 00:16:05.799 --> 00:16:11.054 (VOCALIZING) 00:16:16.477 --> 00:16:17.728 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 00:16:32.993 --> 00:16:35.996 (SIGHS) Very first light. 00:16:37.331 --> 00:16:40.083 Goin' since... 2:00-ish. 00:16:41.251 --> 00:16:42.251 (SIGHS) 00:16:42.294 --> 00:16:45.088 (WIND WHOOSHING) 00:16:46.924 --> 00:16:51.595 Pretty much made a bunch of mistakes already today. 00:16:51.678 --> 00:16:53.180 Takin' me to school... 00:16:53.263 --> 00:16:55.015 Yet again. 00:16:55.098 --> 00:16:57.976 But, we're makin' good progress... 00:16:58.060 --> 00:17:01.188 haulin' 200-pound loads... 00:17:01.271 --> 00:17:04.066 up a 3,000-foot snow filter... 00:17:05.108 --> 00:17:06.944 at 16,000 feet. 00:17:07.528 --> 00:17:09.029 (SIGHS) 00:17:16.328 --> 00:17:18.956 See that system comin' in here pretty soon. 00:17:22.292 --> 00:17:25.087 JIMMY: Conrad and I have been through some tough expeditions together... 00:17:25.170 --> 00:17:27.130 all around the world. 00:17:28.298 --> 00:17:31.176 We were on K7 in Pakistan. 00:17:31.260 --> 00:17:34.638 We skied Denali, and we've been on Everest together. 00:17:34.721 --> 00:17:35.722 (SHUTTER CLICKS) 00:17:35.806 --> 00:17:39.017 Conrad's reputation among climbers is flawless. 00:17:41.270 --> 00:17:44.648 The irony is he became world famous for finding Mallory's body... 00:17:44.731 --> 00:17:46.275 during an Everest climb... 00:17:46.358 --> 00:17:49.403 instead of for his difficult first ascents around the world. 00:17:53.365 --> 00:17:57.160 Most of my generation of climbers grew up following his expeditions. 00:17:59.329 --> 00:18:03.250 Back then I'd never imagined I'd actually get to climb with him. 00:18:03.333 --> 00:18:07.337 So it's hard to believe this will be almost seven years as climbing partners. 00:18:10.424 --> 00:18:14.177 - (CHUCKLES) - JIMMY: It got a little snowy. 00:18:14.845 --> 00:18:16.346 CONRAD: Yup. 00:18:16.430 --> 00:18:19.975 - But we're committed to going up. - Yeah. 00:18:20.058 --> 00:18:22.477 It's only gonna be snowy for a little bit. Then it's gonna be nice. 00:18:22.561 --> 00:18:24.396 Right? (CHUCKLES) 00:18:24.479 --> 00:18:27.190 Meanwhile we look out into inside of a Ping-Pong ball. 00:18:27.274 --> 00:18:30.319 (SNOW LANDING) 00:18:30.402 --> 00:18:33.989 (WIND WHOOSHING) 00:18:36.908 --> 00:18:38.410 JIMMY'S VOICE: A storm came... 00:18:38.493 --> 00:18:41.288 and we fought to build our hanging portaledge camp. 00:18:41.371 --> 00:18:42.623 JIMMY: Whoo! Nice work! 00:18:42.706 --> 00:18:46.793 JIMMY'S VOICE: Which is basically a hanging cot with a tent over it. 00:18:48.629 --> 00:18:53.884 - (WIND WHOOSHING) - (TENT FLAPPING) 00:18:53.967 --> 00:18:57.804 - Holy Jesus. - Okay, good. 00:18:59.348 --> 00:19:00.849 Ooh. 00:19:01.350 --> 00:19:03.894 (RUMBLING) 00:19:09.107 --> 00:19:12.361 JIMMY'S VOICE: Then we start hearing the avalanches coming off on the side... 00:19:13.070 --> 00:19:15.072 ripping out next to you. 00:19:20.661 --> 00:19:22.663 (SNOW RUMBLING) 00:19:22.746 --> 00:19:26.500 (CHUCKLING, SIGHS) 00:19:26.583 --> 00:19:29.378 (HISSING) 00:19:30.337 --> 00:19:31.505 RENAN: Whoa. 00:19:39.137 --> 00:19:41.390 (HISSING) 00:19:42.432 --> 00:19:44.434 - (ZIPS) - (WIND WHISTLING) 00:19:44.518 --> 00:19:47.312 JIMMY: Look, it's snowing outside. 00:19:47.396 --> 00:19:50.357 (WIND WHOOSHING) 00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:53.360 CONRAD: Living in a portaledge, and it's snowing. 00:19:53.443 --> 00:19:56.905 - I kind of feel like Christmas somehow. - (JIMMY CHUCKLES) 00:19:56.988 --> 00:19:59.950 CONRAD: This is what we want for Christmas- a snowstorm and... 00:20:00.033 --> 00:20:03.161 - to sit here in the- - JIMMY: On the Shark's Fin? 00:20:03.245 --> 00:20:08.208 - CONRAD: Yeah. - JIMMY: All soaking wet. Awesome. 00:20:14.131 --> 00:20:15.924 (WIND BLOWING) 00:20:16.007 --> 00:20:19.720 JIMMY: And so, we're there for a day. Then we're there for two days. 00:20:19.803 --> 00:20:21.555 Then we're there for three days. 00:20:21.638 --> 00:20:26.059 And basically, we're stuck on the portaledge for four days. 00:20:27.644 --> 00:20:30.397 RENAN: It was... one of the biggest storms I'd ever seen. 00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:33.066 It was four days in the storm... 00:20:33.150 --> 00:20:36.862 and we had only seven days of food total. 00:20:36.945 --> 00:20:42.117 So, we ended up, you know, depleting a lot of our food supply. 00:20:43.660 --> 00:20:46.663 We had essentially lost half our food. 00:20:46.747 --> 00:20:50.083 And 90% of the mountain was still above us. 00:20:56.131 --> 00:20:59.760 It's Samsara- the bivy of suffering. 00:21:01.928 --> 00:21:04.639 RENAN'S VOICE: I thought, "Okay, it's over. 00:21:04.723 --> 00:21:08.101 We've had a good run at it." 00:21:08.185 --> 00:21:11.897 Cold. Where's the sun we had the last couple days? 00:21:11.980 --> 00:21:13.648 We're up here freezing. 00:21:14.858 --> 00:21:16.651 RENAN'S VOICE: This is too much for me. 00:21:16.735 --> 00:21:20.781 I'm in over my head. And I'm glad to have the experience... 00:21:20.864 --> 00:21:23.492 but I'm also glad that we're going down tomorrow. 00:21:31.792 --> 00:21:33.668 JIMMY: The storm clears finally. 00:21:33.752 --> 00:21:37.964 And you know, in my head, I'm like, "Okay, you know... 00:21:38.048 --> 00:21:40.884 now it's time to move. Storm's over." 00:21:43.720 --> 00:21:49.184 So when we started gearing up that day and getting ready to climb... 00:21:49.267 --> 00:21:53.313 you know, there was some confusion, I think, for Renan, that we were going- 00:21:53.396 --> 00:21:56.733 uh, you know, that we were going up as opposed to down. 00:21:56.817 --> 00:21:59.736 - (RENAN, INDISTINCT) - Okay. 00:22:00.737 --> 00:22:02.322 (MURMURING) 00:22:03.865 --> 00:22:07.118 RENAN: They just started racking up to continue up the mountain. 00:22:07.202 --> 00:22:11.206 I didn't know why or how- what they were thinking. 00:22:11.289 --> 00:22:12.874 And especially Conrad. 00:22:12.958 --> 00:22:17.420 I'd never seen him so... motivated... about a climb. 00:22:34.521 --> 00:22:36.731 CONRAD: Climbing's a really dangerous sport. 00:22:36.815 --> 00:22:41.361 And a good partner will push you to the summit... 00:22:41.444 --> 00:22:46.283 but at the same time, keep you aware of the risks that are involved with it. 00:22:55.166 --> 00:22:58.044 RENAN: Belaying out of the portaledge... 00:22:59.796 --> 00:23:03.592 CONRAD: That 100% trust in your partner is pretty special. 00:23:05.552 --> 00:23:07.053 I think Renan was shocked... 00:23:07.137 --> 00:23:09.723 because he hadn't ever really had anything at that extent. 00:23:09.806 --> 00:23:12.809 And Jimmy and I, we'd been through that. 00:23:16.146 --> 00:23:21.234 We're pushing on through it, and it's that understanding of "It's not that bad." 00:23:21.318 --> 00:23:22.986 And that's where a mentor comes in. 00:23:27.240 --> 00:23:31.244 Climbing is this weird craft, you know, passed down from generation to generation. 00:23:31.328 --> 00:23:33.580 The way you learn is you have a mentor. 00:23:34.623 --> 00:23:38.793 Conrad learned at the feet of Mugs Stump. 00:23:38.877 --> 00:23:42.839 Conrad was this young phenom, and Mugs was one of the great climbers in the world. 00:23:42.923 --> 00:23:45.800 CONRAD: Mugs was great. He took me under his wing. 00:23:45.884 --> 00:23:48.345 He was the sensei, and I was the grasshopper. 00:23:48.428 --> 00:23:50.472 He pushed me. 00:23:50.555 --> 00:23:55.268 He had taken what was unshapen and given shape to it. 00:23:55.352 --> 00:24:00.148 Still, to this day, a very important part of my life. 00:24:01.733 --> 00:24:04.778 KRAKAUER: So Conrad, he'd found the perfect mentor. 00:24:04.861 --> 00:24:08.073 And Mugs would take him into his van and lift the prayer flag... 00:24:08.156 --> 00:24:11.451 and there's his special goal, which is this peak called Meru. 00:24:11.534 --> 00:24:13.203 And Conrad was like, "Ooh." 00:24:14.496 --> 00:24:17.874 And Mugs tried it twice- I think in '86 and '88. 00:24:17.958 --> 00:24:20.669 Failed both times, for all kinds of reasons. 00:24:20.752 --> 00:24:25.131 But to Mugs, this didn't deter him. This was- He is the cosmic climber... 00:24:25.215 --> 00:24:28.301 and this is all part of the cosmic plan, and he was gonna go back. 00:24:28.385 --> 00:24:32.305 And I'm sure Conrad- That made a huge impression on him. 00:24:32.389 --> 00:24:36.559 So then, 1992, two years after I met Conrad... 00:24:36.643 --> 00:24:39.980 uh, Mugs died on Denali, guiding a bootleg client. 00:24:40.063 --> 00:24:42.774 (WIND BLOWING) 00:24:42.857 --> 00:24:45.819 CONRAD: I was working in Salt Lake and went climbing. 00:24:45.902 --> 00:24:47.612 And, uh, we were driving back. 00:24:47.696 --> 00:24:52.283 And my friend Doug said, "Hey, we think Mugs has died." 00:24:53.868 --> 00:24:59.290 I remember exactly on the interstate where Doug had that conversation. 00:24:59.374 --> 00:25:01.835 I was like, "Oh, fuck!" 00:25:01.918 --> 00:25:04.379 Because I always thought that shit like that's gonna happen. 00:25:04.462 --> 00:25:07.590 But it's not gonna happen to Mugs. He was the best. 00:25:27.610 --> 00:25:31.114 RENAN: Climbing with your mentor is a dangerous thing sometimes... 00:25:31.197 --> 00:25:33.742 because you give them all of your trust. 00:25:33.825 --> 00:25:37.704 I gave them everything, and... 00:25:37.787 --> 00:25:42.417 there was a constant battle in my mind every day. 00:25:50.216 --> 00:25:53.887 I'd be freezing, shivering uncontrollably... 00:25:55.221 --> 00:25:58.558 But I definitely didn't want to be the guy that said... 00:25:58.641 --> 00:26:01.061 "Oh, I'm cold. I want to go down." 00:26:02.645 --> 00:26:04.647 RENAN: Loose, eh? 00:26:04.731 --> 00:26:09.152 RENAN'S VOICE: It must have been negative 20 when the sun went around the corner. 00:26:10.653 --> 00:26:14.574 It's debilitating trying to climb in those kind of temperatures. 00:26:17.243 --> 00:26:19.954 RENAN: It's all about climbing the cracks. 00:26:21.831 --> 00:26:24.584 I don't see any here. (CHUCKLES) 00:26:26.252 --> 00:26:29.172 RENAN'S VOICE: We'd hit these totally blank sections of rock. 00:26:29.255 --> 00:26:32.383 And I was sure there wasn't anywhere else to go. 00:26:35.512 --> 00:26:39.974 But then Jimmy or Conrad would launch into the void. 00:26:48.358 --> 00:26:52.112 KRAKAUER: You know, this is steep, modern A4 E-climbing. 00:26:52.195 --> 00:26:54.447 It's using tools. You're a craftsman... 00:26:54.531 --> 00:26:56.741 tapping and pounding and tweaking. 00:26:56.825 --> 00:26:58.868 And he's like this cabinetmaker... 00:26:58.952 --> 00:27:02.288 chiseling away at this cabinet out of walnut or something. 00:27:02.372 --> 00:27:06.626 Except, you know, if you hit that chisel one more time and you're a cabinetmaker... 00:27:06.709 --> 00:27:09.629 maybe you split it and you ruin this cabinet- bummer. 00:27:09.712 --> 00:27:13.716 If on an A4 pitch, you, like, split the cabinet, you die. 00:27:37.949 --> 00:27:40.076 Yeah, I'll tent right there. 00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:42.078 Uh, you wanna be here? Where you wanna be? 00:27:42.162 --> 00:27:45.081 I don't care. I'm right on this edge. I'll sit here for now. 00:27:45.165 --> 00:27:47.458 I got some hot bevies. 00:27:47.542 --> 00:27:51.796 JIMMY'S VOICE: It's hard to overstate what kind of condition we were in. 00:27:51.880 --> 00:27:54.674 Barely. (SIGHS) 00:27:54.757 --> 00:28:00.013 We're literally down to eating a couple spoonfuls of granola in the morning... 00:28:00.096 --> 00:28:03.349 and sharing a couple slices of salami during the day... 00:28:03.433 --> 00:28:04.934 with couple pieces of cheese. 00:28:05.018 --> 00:28:09.063 I mean, we're definitely on pretty limited rations at this point. 00:28:10.732 --> 00:28:12.650 - CONRAD: Roasty. - (RENAN CHUCKLES) 00:28:13.985 --> 00:28:18.698 For climbers over a stove on a half-empty jug of propane... 00:28:18.781 --> 00:28:20.825 there's nothing finer than roasting the rind. 00:28:20.909 --> 00:28:23.494 It becomes quite tasty. 00:28:24.996 --> 00:28:28.958 JIMMY: 'Cause basically eating everything that you have left. 00:28:29.042 --> 00:28:31.211 Super efficient. 00:28:31.294 --> 00:28:35.965 Next week, we'll be eating our boots. (CHUCKLES) 00:28:40.470 --> 00:28:42.639 (METAL CLINKING) 00:28:50.146 --> 00:28:55.401 KRAKAUER: You know, Conrad talks a lot about how to keep the risk manageable. 00:28:55.485 --> 00:28:59.239 Talks about there's acceptable risk and unacceptable risk. 00:28:59.322 --> 00:29:03.284 But he always keeps it on the acceptable side by leaving this margin. 00:29:04.244 --> 00:29:05.745 Om, shanti. 00:29:05.828 --> 00:29:09.832 - (KRAKAUER CONTINUES) - But... you know, he had tried this climb before... 00:29:09.916 --> 00:29:13.503 failed, and even if he didn't admit it to himself... 00:29:13.586 --> 00:29:18.341 to succeed, he was gonna have to throw that conservative stuff out the window... 00:29:18.424 --> 00:29:20.760 and take mega-risk on this. 00:29:24.764 --> 00:29:27.267 But, you know, if they want to stay alive... 00:29:27.350 --> 00:29:29.602 they cannot fuck up at all. 00:29:29.686 --> 00:29:33.856 And he talked about, "If I die, I've really let down my family. 00:29:33.940 --> 00:29:36.192 I cannot make any mistakes." 00:29:36.276 --> 00:29:38.611 That's not good to be thinkin' when you're that far out there. 00:29:38.695 --> 00:29:42.365 He is thinkin', "Man, I cannot die now... 00:29:42.448 --> 00:29:44.701 because then I've blown it for my wife and kids." 00:29:46.911 --> 00:29:48.830 Jenni has no idea. 00:29:48.913 --> 00:29:52.542 She has no fucking idea what he is really doin' out there. 00:29:53.334 --> 00:29:56.212 (SIGHS) 00:30:01.676 --> 00:30:04.053 (JIMMY SIGHS) 00:30:04.137 --> 00:30:06.014 Fuck. 00:30:06.097 --> 00:30:08.975 We're all just kind of frayed. 00:30:09.058 --> 00:30:13.730 Sixteen days up here, just givin' it everything we have. 00:30:14.731 --> 00:30:16.691 It's been really slow. 00:30:17.775 --> 00:30:20.820 And, uh, we're running out of fuel actually. 00:30:21.904 --> 00:30:24.782 Um, and food. And cigarettes and papers. 00:30:24.866 --> 00:30:28.661 But tomorrow is kind of the decider. 00:30:28.745 --> 00:30:31.581 If we, uh... 00:30:31.664 --> 00:30:34.751 don't get up and around this big, steep headwall... 00:30:36.919 --> 00:30:39.213 we're gonna have to pull the cord, but, uh... 00:30:39.297 --> 00:30:42.759 we got one last push tomorrow. 00:30:45.428 --> 00:30:47.388 (CHUCKLES) 00:30:49.640 --> 00:30:54.020 Jimmy's strength is that he's very rational and accepting... 00:30:54.103 --> 00:30:56.272 and real in what we can do. 00:30:57.440 --> 00:31:00.360 When we first met, I realized right away... 00:31:00.443 --> 00:31:03.363 there was a mentorship that was going to blossom. 00:31:03.446 --> 00:31:08.868 I also immediately sensed that he was driven and determined. 00:31:08.951 --> 00:31:12.246 - And I never really knew why. - (SHUTTER CLICKING) 00:31:12.914 --> 00:31:14.457 (SHUTTER CLICKS) 00:31:14.540 --> 00:31:17.210 My parents called me Xiao-pang. 00:31:17.293 --> 00:31:19.253 It means "Little Chub." 00:31:19.337 --> 00:31:24.175 JIMMY'S VOICE: My parents had to escape from China during the Communist Revolution. 00:31:24.258 --> 00:31:25.968 They both went through a lot. 00:31:27.428 --> 00:31:30.390 They came to the United States to make a new life. 00:31:30.473 --> 00:31:34.060 And I think they had really high expectations for me. 00:31:34.727 --> 00:31:37.939 My dad was a hard-ass. 00:31:38.022 --> 00:31:41.275 In the wintertime, we would get cords of wood to heat the house. 00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:44.278 And he'd put it in the back of this huge yard we had... 00:31:44.362 --> 00:31:48.116 and make me drag it back on a sled in thigh-deep snow. 00:31:50.159 --> 00:31:52.286 He was really about being tough. 00:31:53.913 --> 00:31:56.666 Mountain climbing, it wasn't a career to them. 00:31:56.749 --> 00:31:59.252 My mom used to call me all the time... 00:31:59.335 --> 00:32:03.047 and lament about the fact her son was this homeless man... 00:32:03.131 --> 00:32:07.093 who wandered around and camped and didn't have a home. 00:32:07.176 --> 00:32:09.345 (SIZZLING) 00:32:09.429 --> 00:32:12.140 But when I went through a difficult divorce... 00:32:12.223 --> 00:32:15.726 and called Jimmy, crying, upset... 00:32:15.810 --> 00:32:19.772 his first words were, "Come stay with me." 00:32:19.856 --> 00:32:23.734 So, we just moved into his bachelor pad. 00:32:23.818 --> 00:32:26.737 Two kids, all their markers and Legos. (CHUCKLES) 00:32:26.821 --> 00:32:27.821 Yeah. 00:32:27.864 --> 00:32:29.532 And he just took us right in. 00:32:33.202 --> 00:32:36.956 KRAKAUER: You know, he's another one of these extremely accomplished climbers. 00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:38.499 You don't appreciate how good a climber he is... 00:32:38.583 --> 00:32:40.751 because you get distracted by the art... 00:32:40.835 --> 00:32:43.463 which is probably the way he likes it. 00:32:43.546 --> 00:32:47.175 And taking pictures makes the climbing Way harder. 00:32:47.258 --> 00:32:50.887 He was filming this Everest expedition, and his morn got really sick. 00:32:50.970 --> 00:32:55.308 And he found out about it and had to leave so he could see her before she died. 00:32:59.020 --> 00:33:03.065 JIMMY: My mom had made me promise fairly early on, she was like... 00:33:03.149 --> 00:33:06.986 "If you're gonna make this your life, you need to promise me one thing. 00:33:07.069 --> 00:33:11.240 You have to promise me that you will not die before me." 00:33:11.324 --> 00:33:14.327 And when I was on climbs and on expeditions... 00:33:14.410 --> 00:33:18.164 I would get to a certain point, and I would say, "Okay. 00:33:18.247 --> 00:33:22.335 How close am I willing to go to potentially break that promise?" 00:33:22.418 --> 00:33:25.755 So, after my mom died... 00:33:25.838 --> 00:33:28.841 when the climbing started to get into that place... 00:33:28.925 --> 00:33:34.180 I remember a moment being like, "Well, I can go for it right now." 00:33:35.097 --> 00:33:37.058 (EQUIPMENT JINGLING) 00:33:43.314 --> 00:33:46.234 RENAN: Conrad's up there. Can't find good gear. 00:33:47.276 --> 00:33:51.364 Our hands and feet are all frost-numb. 00:33:51.447 --> 00:33:52.990 Nice, Rad. 00:33:53.658 --> 00:33:55.493 Good move. 00:33:55.576 --> 00:33:56.869 (HAMMERING) 00:33:56.953 --> 00:34:00.248 We're probably at about 20,500 feet. 00:34:00.331 --> 00:34:02.291 Just short of the ridge. 00:34:03.167 --> 00:34:05.294 It's fucking Arctic. 00:34:07.088 --> 00:34:09.257 Today's our summit bid. 00:34:17.557 --> 00:34:19.100 RENAN: Bring it in. 00:34:20.434 --> 00:34:23.229 - CONRAD: Whoo! - RENAN: Yeah, Rad! 00:34:23.312 --> 00:34:26.691 (PEBBLE RATTLES) 00:34:26.774 --> 00:34:28.568 Nice! 00:34:28.651 --> 00:34:31.862 KRAKAUER: The game in climbing is cut that line as fine as you can. 00:34:31.946 --> 00:34:34.323 But you don't want to take stupid risk. 00:34:34.407 --> 00:34:37.618 If you die taking a stupid risk, not only are you dead... 00:34:37.702 --> 00:34:40.413 but you've embarrassed yourself and you've disgraced yourself. 00:34:40.496 --> 00:34:42.623 You're not supposed to take risk lightly. 00:34:42.707 --> 00:34:45.835 You're supposed to show that you're so good and so controlled... 00:34:45.918 --> 00:34:48.504 you can take it right to that line and go no further. 00:34:48.588 --> 00:34:50.089 (CHUCKLES) 00:34:51.674 --> 00:34:55.261 JIMMY: It's been a super long morning. Started at 2:00. 00:34:55.344 --> 00:34:58.014 Probably another 500 feet to the summit. 00:34:59.974 --> 00:35:02.268 JIMMY'S VOICE: We're gunning for the summit ridgeline... 00:35:02.351 --> 00:35:07.315 and Conrad's burrowing through this overhanging cornice. 00:35:07.398 --> 00:35:10.776 Renan is in the line of fire. 00:35:10.860 --> 00:35:13.946 Snow and ice falling 150 feet... 00:35:14.030 --> 00:35:16.449 just slamming Renan. 00:35:16.532 --> 00:35:19.785 RENAN: All the shrapnel and the ice that he was kicking down... 00:35:19.869 --> 00:35:21.996 was going directly onto me- 00:35:22.079 --> 00:35:23.623 like, constant deluge. 00:35:23.706 --> 00:35:28.127 And I could really feel that I was losing my fingers and toes. 00:35:28.210 --> 00:35:33.341 I started just screaming... and yelling and crying. 00:35:33.424 --> 00:35:36.052 That was my absolute last breaking point. 00:35:36.135 --> 00:35:39.972 I even said something when I got up there, like, "My feet aren't doing so well." 00:35:40.056 --> 00:35:43.184 They didn't even acknowledge what I said. 00:35:43.267 --> 00:35:47.229 They were talking about spending the night there. 00:35:49.482 --> 00:35:51.602 JIMMY: Conrad and I are having a conversation like... 00:35:51.651 --> 00:35:55.154 "Is there a spot to bivy? Is there a spot for us to spend the night?" 00:35:55.237 --> 00:36:00.868 Trying to sleep perched on this tiny little corner... 00:36:00.951 --> 00:36:03.788 at 20,000 feet without sleeping bags... 00:36:03.871 --> 00:36:07.083 and risk fingers and toes. 00:36:10.461 --> 00:36:12.922 JIMMY: What if we push on? Should we push on? 00:36:13.005 --> 00:36:16.008 If you go for it and you spend the night out... 00:36:16.092 --> 00:36:20.179 there's a probability that's higher than you want... 00:36:20.262 --> 00:36:23.015 that you... aren't gonna come back. 00:36:25.267 --> 00:36:28.979 Just shy of the summit. 00:36:29.063 --> 00:36:32.692 It's 4:00, and we're at 17 days. 00:36:32.775 --> 00:36:36.445 - We're fuckin' roasted. - Started out this morning at midnight. 00:36:36.529 --> 00:36:40.491 If we go today and attempt to the summit, that means we're gonna be out tonight... 00:36:40.574 --> 00:36:46.205 and an unplanned bivouac at 20,000 feet in really cold climate... 00:36:46.288 --> 00:36:49.959 without proper protection and without sufficient food... 00:36:50.042 --> 00:36:51.794 just doesn't make any sense. 00:36:56.298 --> 00:36:58.300 (EXHALES) 00:37:06.934 --> 00:37:09.228 (GRUNTS) 00:37:09.311 --> 00:37:11.105 RENAN: It's over. 00:37:11.188 --> 00:37:13.941 A hundred meters short of the summit. 00:37:14.024 --> 00:37:16.777 We just don't have the safety margin to make it. 00:37:19.655 --> 00:37:23.617 It's not easy turning around. But- 00:37:23.701 --> 00:37:25.995 Fuck, this thing was an ass-kicker. 00:37:26.078 --> 00:37:28.497 Maybe it just wasn't meant to be climbed. 00:37:30.583 --> 00:37:33.544 But I'm not coming back. 00:37:33.627 --> 00:37:34.920 (EXHALES) 00:37:35.004 --> 00:37:39.008 I mean, that's just so... (EXHALES) 00:37:39.091 --> 00:37:41.761 JIMMY: Fitting? 00:37:41.844 --> 00:37:45.848 - The center of the universe is... - Unattainable. 00:37:48.017 --> 00:37:52.021 (MAN VOCALIZING) 00:37:57.276 --> 00:37:59.570 RENAN'S VOICE: When we finally made the decision to go down... 00:37:59.653 --> 00:38:01.280 it was a relief. 00:38:01.363 --> 00:38:04.450 Uh, it was also heartbreaking. 00:38:10.623 --> 00:38:13.793 (VOCALIZING CONTINUES) 00:38:13.876 --> 00:38:18.214 Our feet are... hammered and we're just emaciated. 00:38:18.297 --> 00:38:20.800 RENAN: When we got down off the mountain... 00:38:20.883 --> 00:38:26.138 our condition was this combination of frostbite and trench foot. 00:38:26.222 --> 00:38:27.807 Trench foot is what you get... 00:38:27.890 --> 00:38:32.061 when your feet and your hands are in this wet, damp condition... 00:38:32.144 --> 00:38:34.480 for a long period of time, and they start to rot. 00:38:34.563 --> 00:38:39.485 I came back in a wheelchair. I couldn't really walk for a few weeks. 00:38:39.568 --> 00:38:43.989 All of us gave it our best. We pushed our limits. 00:38:44.073 --> 00:38:46.283 Uh, there was something left undone. 00:38:48.244 --> 00:38:51.914 But... I was possessed. 00:38:51.997 --> 00:38:53.749 I wasn't even down, and I was like... 00:38:53.833 --> 00:38:57.169 "Okay, do I come back in pre-monsoon, post-monsoon? 00:38:57.253 --> 00:39:00.756 When are we gonna do it, and what do we gotta do better this time?" 00:39:04.760 --> 00:39:07.096 (WIND WHOOSHING) 00:39:11.976 --> 00:39:17.106 JIMMY: After 2008, Renan and I ended up on a bunch of different shoots together. 00:39:17.189 --> 00:39:20.442 We went all over the world. We were in Chad, Africa. 00:39:20.526 --> 00:39:22.653 We were in Borneo. 00:39:22.736 --> 00:39:25.614 We worked on a ton of jobs together. 00:39:38.085 --> 00:39:42.840 We knew that there were a number of teams who attempted the Shark's Fin after us. 00:39:42.923 --> 00:39:47.636 And then this great Slovenian climber named Silvo Karo... 00:39:47.720 --> 00:39:51.974 called Conrad to ask for beta- ask for information on the route. 00:39:52.057 --> 00:39:56.145 And so we gave him our total support. We weren't being possessive of the climb. 00:39:56.228 --> 00:39:59.565 We weren't- it wasn't- We don't own that mountain. 00:39:59.648 --> 00:40:04.570 We were like, "Here it is. Here's what we learned." 00:40:04.653 --> 00:40:08.616 And, "Finish the story of the Shark's Fin." 00:40:08.699 --> 00:40:12.620 Because then we don't have to go back. It's done. 00:40:12.703 --> 00:40:15.748 JIMMY: And we kind of assumed Silvo would get it. 00:40:15.831 --> 00:40:18.918 And then I got a call from Conrad, you know. 00:40:19.001 --> 00:40:22.129 And all he said was, "He didn't get it." 00:40:22.212 --> 00:40:26.425 At that point we're like, "Okay." Gears turning. "We're going back." 00:40:26.508 --> 00:40:30.679 (CHUCKLES) They say the best Alpinists are the ones with the worst memory. 00:40:30.763 --> 00:40:33.140 (BIRDS TWEETING) 00:40:38.562 --> 00:40:41.565 JIMMY: About six months before we were supposed to head to Meru... 00:40:41.649 --> 00:40:42.775 on our second attempt... 00:40:42.858 --> 00:40:47.321 Renan and I were out shooting a commercial project in Jackson Hole. 00:40:47.404 --> 00:40:50.699 It's not too steep up here. The summit's probably right here. 00:40:50.783 --> 00:40:54.745 JIMMY'S VOICE: I had gotten a call from Jeremy Jones and Xavier de Le Rue... 00:40:54.828 --> 00:40:57.665 two of the best big-mountain snowboarders in the world. 00:40:57.748 --> 00:40:59.375 In here, is this the steepest part? 00:40:59.458 --> 00:41:02.211 JIMMY'S VOICE: It was a big job, and I asked Renan to film on it... 00:41:02.294 --> 00:41:04.004 even though he wasn't a great skier. 00:41:04.088 --> 00:41:07.800 This line, below this is, like, thousands of cliffs. 00:41:19.645 --> 00:41:23.399 I'm stoked. Those are the first turns I've ever made with Jeremy and Xav. 00:41:24.400 --> 00:41:26.735 - Bodes well. - (CHUCKLES) 00:41:28.070 --> 00:41:29.738 That was awesome. 00:41:36.078 --> 00:41:39.790 JIMMY: We were headed down together when I saw Renan catch an edge. 00:41:39.873 --> 00:41:43.377 And he spun out of control and disappeared over a cliff. 00:41:45.212 --> 00:41:46.964 Oh. Oh! 00:41:52.469 --> 00:41:56.849 I got down to him, and there was blood all around his head. 00:41:56.932 --> 00:41:59.852 - (CHATTERING) - MAN: I got it. 00:41:59.935 --> 00:42:04.189 He'd smashed his skull, and you could see into his head. 00:42:04.273 --> 00:42:07.568 I thought he was gonna die... in my arms. 00:42:07.651 --> 00:42:10.696 - (MONITORS BEEPING) - I felt responsible. 00:42:10.779 --> 00:42:14.366 MAN: He has an open, depressed skull fracture with pneumocephali... 00:42:14.450 --> 00:42:16.285 which is air inside the skull. 00:42:16.368 --> 00:42:21.457 And... he has a C2 teardrop fracture and lateral mass fracture... 00:42:21.540 --> 00:42:25.044 as well as a C6 spinous process fracture. 00:42:32.342 --> 00:42:34.720 (MONITOR BEEPING) 00:42:36.388 --> 00:42:38.307 We came out, okay? 00:42:40.809 --> 00:42:44.813 (MURMURING) 00:42:51.070 --> 00:42:53.989 He's gonna be immobilized for a long time. They're gonna take him to surgery. 00:42:54.073 --> 00:42:56.408 Any sort of, like, significant risks during the surgery? 00:42:56.492 --> 00:42:57.493 Absolutely. 00:43:00.412 --> 00:43:05.167 So they tell us we can see him and they roll him out, and he just looked- 00:43:06.335 --> 00:43:08.670 I- I mean, I recognized him, but- 00:43:10.005 --> 00:43:12.966 I mean, he looked so beat down. 00:43:18.806 --> 00:43:24.269 So when I found you, you were... face down... in a pile. 00:43:24.353 --> 00:43:28.190 You essentially had, like, a triangle about that big- 00:43:29.900 --> 00:43:33.529 about that big where I could see your skull. 00:43:35.948 --> 00:43:40.452 JIMMY'S VOICE: Renan had landed on his head and severely fractured his skull. 00:43:40.536 --> 00:43:44.123 He broke two vertebrae in his neck. 00:43:44.206 --> 00:43:47.292 He severed one of his vertebral arteries. 00:43:47.376 --> 00:43:52.297 And basically cut off half the blood flow to his brain. 00:43:52.381 --> 00:43:55.884 I asked, I said, "Well, what are we talkin' about here?" 00:43:55.968 --> 00:44:01.890 They were like, "90% of people with any one of these injuries will never walk again." 00:44:01.974 --> 00:44:04.768 His head injury- They were saying, you know- 00:44:04.852 --> 00:44:09.398 it was within a millimeter of him being a vegetable. 00:44:11.400 --> 00:44:14.153 - Here we are... - CONRAD'S VOICE: I got a call from Jimmy. 00:44:14.236 --> 00:44:16.738 He said, "There's been a really severe accident." 00:44:16.822 --> 00:44:18.323 And I drove down right away. 00:44:18.407 --> 00:44:20.200 We had this moment where it was... 00:44:20.284 --> 00:44:22.077 "You're gonna be fine. Things are good." 00:44:22.161 --> 00:44:24.496 And we got up and we got the walker... 00:44:24.580 --> 00:44:28.333 and we walked from east to west on the linoleum floor. 00:44:28.417 --> 00:44:30.836 (CHUCKLES) 00:44:30.919 --> 00:44:33.547 - Recovery mode. - Yeah. 00:44:36.049 --> 00:44:40.846 Let's go somewhere quick, so we can get our job done. 00:44:40.929 --> 00:44:41.930 Yep. 00:44:42.014 --> 00:44:45.350 - September. - Exactly. 00:44:45.434 --> 00:44:48.478 CONRAD'S VOICE: At the time, he was like, "I want to go to Meru." 00:44:48.562 --> 00:44:53.025 But I didn't want to be like, "Dude, you're hooped. I mean, come on." 00:44:53.108 --> 00:44:57.196 You don't have the heart to tell someone something's impossible. 00:44:57.279 --> 00:45:00.032 You're not gonna stuff 'em right at that moment and say... 00:45:00.115 --> 00:45:02.367 "Dude, what are you talkin' about? You're never goin' back to Meru. 00:45:02.451 --> 00:45:05.370 You're never goin' climbing." You just don't say those kind of things. 00:45:05.454 --> 00:45:08.624 (MONITOR BEEPING) 00:45:10.209 --> 00:45:14.421 We'll see how it- see how it does at altitude at some point. 00:45:16.089 --> 00:45:17.549 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 00:45:17.633 --> 00:45:19.635 (WIND WHOOSHING) 00:45:23.055 --> 00:45:25.224 JIMMY: Once I knew Renan was stable... 00:45:25.307 --> 00:45:28.727 I headed back to Jackson to try and finish the job. 00:45:30.812 --> 00:45:32.981 JEREMY: As far as Jimmy coming back... 00:45:33.065 --> 00:45:37.069 no one would have said anything if Jimmy said, "I'm not going to do it." 00:45:37.152 --> 00:45:38.612 "Um, I'm done." 00:45:38.695 --> 00:45:42.157 Those are real personal decisions. 00:45:42.241 --> 00:45:46.745 It was kind of a, "All right, you have to get back on the horse" mentality. 00:45:55.087 --> 00:45:58.924 Five, four, three, two, one. 00:45:59.007 --> 00:46:02.010 - Xavier de Le Rue. - (BEEPS) 00:46:12.771 --> 00:46:14.273 Dropping! 00:46:18.235 --> 00:46:20.112 JEREMY: The general mood was pretty light. 00:46:20.195 --> 00:46:24.157 Our objective for the day had been reached. Good vibes. 00:46:24.241 --> 00:46:26.952 Our conversation before dropping in was... 00:46:27.035 --> 00:46:29.788 go one at a time, make sure everyone's in a safe spot. 00:46:29.871 --> 00:46:31.623 Dropping! 00:46:33.292 --> 00:46:36.503 JIMMY: So, Jeremy made a couple turns. 00:46:36.586 --> 00:46:40.465 Cut up on the side of this safe zone. 00:46:40.549 --> 00:46:44.219 Called me in, and I make a turn right next to his turn. 00:46:44.303 --> 00:46:46.471 And then- And then I feel it- 00:46:46.555 --> 00:46:48.849 The whole slope shift. 00:46:48.932 --> 00:46:51.935 (RUMBLING) 00:46:52.019 --> 00:46:54.688 JEREMY: I yell, "Avalanche." 00:46:54.771 --> 00:46:59.151 Just screaming, "Get out, get out, get out." 00:46:59.234 --> 00:47:01.528 JIMMY: For a moment, it looks like slow motion. 00:47:01.611 --> 00:47:04.573 And the next moment, everything went to fast-forward. 00:47:04.656 --> 00:47:07.034 And it just... I got swept. 00:47:07.117 --> 00:47:09.286 I'm airborne. 00:47:10.412 --> 00:47:12.080 Totally weightless. 00:47:14.541 --> 00:47:17.502 And I lost sight of him. That was the last I saw of Jimmy. 00:47:17.586 --> 00:47:22.549 And the slide just kept going and going and going and going. 00:47:22.632 --> 00:47:25.177 (RUMBLING) 00:47:25.260 --> 00:47:29.890 JIMMY: I just got crushed under an ocean of car-sized blocks. 00:47:29.973 --> 00:47:33.018 Probably going 70, 80 miles an hour... 00:47:33.101 --> 00:47:35.354 down 2,000 vertical feet. 00:47:36.772 --> 00:47:39.191 And in my mind, I heard this voice... 00:47:39.274 --> 00:47:41.026 having this conversation that was like... 00:47:41.109 --> 00:47:44.196 "Wow, I... I always wondered how I was gonna die... 00:47:44.279 --> 00:47:45.781 and now- now I know." 00:47:52.204 --> 00:47:55.040 I was just expecting to get torn to pieces. 00:47:55.123 --> 00:47:57.626 But after a while, it started to slow down. 00:47:57.709 --> 00:48:02.923 And this weird undercurrent started pushing me up through the snow. 00:48:03.006 --> 00:48:05.967 And at the last moment... 00:48:06.051 --> 00:48:08.637 I popped out of the toe of this thing... 00:48:09.888 --> 00:48:12.766 buried up to my chest. 00:48:12.849 --> 00:48:16.895 I was in that moment being like, "Oh, my God. I'm in one piece." 00:48:16.978 --> 00:48:21.483 Like, I coughed up this huge chunk of snow, and I took this huge breath... 00:48:21.566 --> 00:48:23.318 and I was like- (GASPING) 00:48:23.402 --> 00:48:26.154 And I looked at my arms, and I was like, I mean... 00:48:26.238 --> 00:48:28.824 I couldn't even believe they were still connected to my body. 00:48:28.907 --> 00:48:30.659 And then, um- 00:48:32.911 --> 00:48:34.413 Yeah, it was a lot. 00:48:36.331 --> 00:48:40.252 JEREMY: It was really difficult to descend and felt like forever. 00:48:40.335 --> 00:48:42.087 But I come around the corner... 00:48:42.170 --> 00:48:44.631 and way out at the very bottom... 00:48:44.714 --> 00:48:48.176 of the biggest debris fields I've ever seen... 00:48:48.260 --> 00:48:51.179 is Jimmy sitting upright. 00:48:51.263 --> 00:48:52.764 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 00:48:52.848 --> 00:48:56.393 JIMMY: I haven't seen a fuckin' slide- (CHUCKLES) 00:49:01.148 --> 00:49:05.777 JEREMY'S VOICE: This avalanche has trumped all avalanches I've ever seen. 00:49:05.861 --> 00:49:09.197 I couldn't help but think, "Jimmy's dead." 00:49:10.365 --> 00:49:13.910 I just can't believe that he survived it. 00:49:13.994 --> 00:49:15.871 Oh, boy! 00:49:15.954 --> 00:49:17.664 - (WHINES) - Whoo! 00:49:17.747 --> 00:49:19.499 JEREMY: We just saw a miracle. 00:49:19.583 --> 00:49:21.543 XAVIER: Yeah, they saw a miracle. 00:49:21.626 --> 00:49:24.754 Or I saw superhuman effort. I saw somethin'. I don't know. 00:49:31.303 --> 00:49:35.015 JIMMY: Most people don't survive those kinds of avalanches. 00:49:35.098 --> 00:49:37.642 People die in a lot lesser avalanches. 00:49:37.726 --> 00:49:39.895 So I got really lucky. 00:49:39.978 --> 00:49:42.481 Took off for a while. I disappeared off the map... 00:49:42.564 --> 00:49:46.067 and I needed some time to really contemplate. 00:49:48.445 --> 00:49:51.490 GRACE: After Renan's near-death accident... 00:49:51.573 --> 00:49:53.575 Jimmy was extremely shaken. 00:49:53.658 --> 00:49:56.244 And then the avalanche four days later. 00:49:56.328 --> 00:49:59.915 It really contributed to him reexamining his life. 00:49:59.998 --> 00:50:03.084 He'd been given a second chance, and so what do you do with a second chance? 00:50:10.342 --> 00:50:13.803 KRAKAUER: So, Jimmy survived this thing that people don't survive... 00:50:13.887 --> 00:50:17.224 and he was really messed up. 00:50:17.307 --> 00:50:19.267 He was in a bad way psychologically. 00:50:19.351 --> 00:50:23.396 And this makes you doubt your judgment about everything. 00:50:23.480 --> 00:50:25.482 He bailed from various commitments. 00:50:25.565 --> 00:50:28.360 He's not goin' anywhere. He's certainly not goin' to Meru. 00:50:28.443 --> 00:50:32.072 Renan can't go to Meru. He's crippled, maybe for life. Seriously. 00:50:32.155 --> 00:50:34.783 You know, no one knew if Renan was gonna come out of this. 00:50:39.162 --> 00:50:40.664 (EXHALES) 00:50:42.290 --> 00:50:45.210 CONRAD: Renan and I got together. He had his neck brace on... 00:50:45.293 --> 00:50:47.712 and he was in his La-Z-Boy chair. 00:50:47.796 --> 00:50:49.548 And he was kind of like this. 00:50:51.758 --> 00:50:54.386 (TYPING) 00:50:56.972 --> 00:50:59.224 I'm offering encouragement. I'm like, "Yes, we can do this. 00:50:59.307 --> 00:51:01.101 This is- This is good." 00:51:01.184 --> 00:51:05.105 Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew that I might have to be- 00:51:05.188 --> 00:51:09.985 it might be, "Renan, you're just physically are not prepared to go back to Meru." 00:51:13.738 --> 00:51:18.660 JENNI: I think Conrad was the driving force for the entire trip. 00:51:18.743 --> 00:51:23.915 At first I didn't want him to go back, but it was just that loyalty to Mugs... 00:51:23.999 --> 00:51:27.460 and wanting to fulfill that shared dream. 00:51:30.797 --> 00:51:36.136 Having climbed mountains myself, I understood that. 00:51:36.219 --> 00:51:40.473 Especially if it's a first ascent. No one's been there before you. 00:51:43.476 --> 00:51:48.773 JIMMY: After some time off and- and some serious contemplation... 00:51:48.857 --> 00:51:54.446 the idea of not skiing and not climbing and not being in the mountains... 00:51:54.529 --> 00:51:59.618 um, was- was too much to- to imagine. 00:52:01.453 --> 00:52:03.955 I just wasn't ready to give it all up. 00:52:05.624 --> 00:52:06.958 (PANTING) 00:52:08.710 --> 00:52:12.380 RENAN: There was only five months until we were supposed to leave for Meru. 00:52:12.464 --> 00:52:15.383 It was a pretty serious point in time where... 00:52:15.467 --> 00:52:17.177 I didn't care that I was injured. 00:52:17.260 --> 00:52:20.805 I just cared that I wasn't going to be able to join the team again. 00:52:20.889 --> 00:52:22.849 Can I have you bring your arms up like so? 00:52:22.932 --> 00:52:25.685 (RENAN CONTINUES) And I'm sure, to my friends and family, that was really hard... 00:52:25.769 --> 00:52:28.563 because they just wanted to see me okay. 00:52:28.647 --> 00:52:31.858 I just feel bad to put them through that. 00:52:35.278 --> 00:52:37.518 DOCTOR: One of the fractures is this thing back here... 00:52:37.572 --> 00:52:41.534 which is so far displaced that that's not gonna really heal. 00:52:41.618 --> 00:52:43.286 This is the second fracture. 00:52:43.370 --> 00:52:46.915 RENAN: One of the biggest question marks was the vertebral artery. 00:52:46.998 --> 00:52:49.584 I'd lost half the blood supply to my brain... 00:52:49.668 --> 00:52:53.088 and climbing at altitude, there's a high risk of... 00:52:53.171 --> 00:52:56.299 some sort of blood clot getting through that artery... 00:52:56.383 --> 00:52:58.843 and giving me a stroke during the climb. 00:52:58.927 --> 00:53:01.763 But for me, it was worth the risk. 00:53:01.846 --> 00:53:03.848 It was something that I had to do. 00:53:03.932 --> 00:53:06.893 It was worth possibly dying for. 00:53:09.562 --> 00:53:11.773 I mean, in my mind, I thought it was- 00:53:11.856 --> 00:53:14.275 I thought it was crazy that he wanted to go back. 00:53:14.359 --> 00:53:19.197 But I realize that Meru for him was something to hold onto. 00:53:19.280 --> 00:53:21.783 For him, it was like, "This is my dream." 00:53:21.866 --> 00:53:24.786 To come back and climb Meru... 00:53:24.869 --> 00:53:30.208 and prove to himself that he had the capacity to make a comeback. 00:53:30.291 --> 00:53:32.377 And I- I understood it as well... 00:53:32.460 --> 00:53:37.966 because, in a way, I needed the same thing, you know. 00:53:42.137 --> 00:53:46.474 (GRUNTING) 00:53:46.558 --> 00:53:49.894 - The bike. - (EXHALES SHARPLY) 00:53:55.859 --> 00:53:59.904 JIMMY: Renan had put his heart and mind into recovering. 00:53:59.988 --> 00:54:04.242 And the way that he had progressed was... 00:54:04.325 --> 00:54:07.454 almost inhuman. 00:54:07.537 --> 00:54:10.331 (PANTING) 00:54:14.502 --> 00:54:17.005 Conrad and I were gonna go back to Meru. 00:54:17.088 --> 00:54:20.175 But we still had to make a decision about Renan. 00:54:20.258 --> 00:54:24.345 And Renan was... pretty adamant about going. 00:54:25.597 --> 00:54:29.642 It was this moment when the three of us got together... 00:54:29.726 --> 00:54:31.978 and Jimmy made the case for Renan to come along. 00:54:33.229 --> 00:54:35.982 JENNI: I was against Renan going on the climb. 00:54:36.065 --> 00:54:38.401 I just confronted Jimmy and I said, "You know... 00:54:38.485 --> 00:54:41.446 I am not keen about this. 00:54:41.529 --> 00:54:43.865 You know, you can't take Renan up there. 00:54:43.948 --> 00:54:46.451 I mean, what if he dies?" 00:54:49.037 --> 00:54:54.209 But I couldn't talk Jimmy into throwing Renan off the trip. (LAUGHS) 00:54:54.292 --> 00:54:57.879 It's like he was totally dug in. 00:54:57.962 --> 00:55:02.217 He just said, flat out, "If Renan feels he's ready, I trust Renan." 00:55:04.135 --> 00:55:06.221 JENNI: I was worried about Renan. 00:55:06.304 --> 00:55:07.388 (GROANING) 00:55:07.472 --> 00:55:10.475 (JENNI CONTINUES) But I was also worried about the well-being of the entire team... 00:55:10.558 --> 00:55:15.897 because... just to go up onto a face like that with a weak partner... 00:55:15.980 --> 00:55:19.150 where, what if they got into another big, bad storm? 00:55:19.234 --> 00:55:21.554 - (CRACKS) - (JENNI CONTINUES) Or what if one of 'em... 00:55:21.611 --> 00:55:23.696 got wacked in the head with a rock... 00:55:23.780 --> 00:55:25.824 and they had to get him down off, and they- 00:55:25.907 --> 00:55:28.827 You need to have your partners be sound and strong. 00:55:28.910 --> 00:55:32.997 You know, when our friends heard about it, they were like- 00:55:33.081 --> 00:55:35.834 They thought we were completely out of our minds. 00:55:35.917 --> 00:55:38.211 Whew. Dude, I don't know. 00:55:38.294 --> 00:55:41.381 No! No! You know, that's not right. 00:55:41.464 --> 00:55:43.341 This isn't like Conrad, or Jimmy. 00:55:43.424 --> 00:55:46.678 You know, these guys, they don't fuck around, they don't do stupid stuff. 00:55:46.761 --> 00:55:48.888 If they did, they'd be dead by now. 00:55:55.270 --> 00:55:57.939 Two or three times, I had these deep anxiety attacks. 00:55:58.022 --> 00:56:01.860 I mean, here it was, at 2:00 in the morning, and all of a sudden it was just like... 00:56:01.943 --> 00:56:07.407 this wave of anxiety came over me, and I'm- I'm up there, like, going, "Shit." 00:56:07.490 --> 00:56:11.286 I've got two kids sleeping upstairs. My wife's there. 00:56:11.369 --> 00:56:15.373 Another boy's off at college. I'm responsible for them. 00:56:15.456 --> 00:56:17.959 And I'm going, "You're going back?" 00:56:20.128 --> 00:56:21.963 You know, the rewards of climbing are huge. 00:56:22.046 --> 00:56:25.675 If you- if you survive it, if your family comes out of it okay... 00:56:25.758 --> 00:56:29.637 if everyone comes out, then climbing- climbing is so worth it. 00:56:29.721 --> 00:56:33.182 The problem is, as we know, you don't always come out of it okay. 00:56:33.266 --> 00:56:37.145 People die. And then you can't justify it. That is the great dilemma. 00:56:39.647 --> 00:56:41.733 Conrad knows this better than anyone. 00:56:41.816 --> 00:56:46.154 Look at what happened to Mugs, and Conrad's next partner, Alex. 00:56:46.237 --> 00:56:48.573 CONRAD: After the death of Mugs in '92... 00:56:48.656 --> 00:56:51.701 Alex Lowe became my main climbing partner. 00:56:51.784 --> 00:56:55.121 Alex was the premier climber at that time. 00:56:56.247 --> 00:57:00.752 Conrad was Alex's favorite partner... 00:57:00.835 --> 00:57:02.962 and best friend. 00:57:03.046 --> 00:57:06.382 Conrad was just right for him... 00:57:06.466 --> 00:57:09.260 because he could match Alex's pace. 00:57:09.344 --> 00:57:12.472 And there wasn't too many people who could do that. 00:57:12.555 --> 00:57:15.475 This is Nirvana, what this is. 00:57:15.558 --> 00:57:19.979 So we're gonna hang out, just enjoy the mountains. 00:57:20.063 --> 00:57:21.606 KRAKAUER: You know, Mugs was the mentor... 00:57:21.689 --> 00:57:24.943 but Alex was much more Conrad's equal. 00:57:25.026 --> 00:57:28.780 These are, you know, two of the most brilliant climbers ever. 00:57:28.863 --> 00:57:30.865 I mean, people were blown away by 'em. 00:57:30.949 --> 00:57:32.951 And they fed off each other! 00:57:34.202 --> 00:57:36.663 They were this perfect match, the perfect partnership. 00:57:36.746 --> 00:57:40.541 I went to Antarctica with both Alex and Conrad in '97... 00:57:40.625 --> 00:57:43.544 in one of the best trips I've ever done, and they were in rare form. 00:57:43.628 --> 00:57:45.338 Just brilliant to behold. 00:57:45.421 --> 00:57:48.466 So he had this new partner, and they were gonna tear up the world. 00:57:52.720 --> 00:57:56.140 CONRAD: Alex did a remarkable job of balancing family. 00:57:56.224 --> 00:57:58.810 We were all sort of vagabonds. 00:57:58.893 --> 00:58:02.730 And here's Alex. He's, like, legit. He's married, and he's got kids. 00:58:07.402 --> 00:58:10.989 I was married to Alex Lowe for 18 years. 00:58:11.072 --> 00:58:16.035 And, um, in the autumn of 1999... 00:58:16.119 --> 00:58:19.497 uh, he was on an expedition with Conrad. 00:58:19.580 --> 00:58:22.709 It was to Shishapangma, in Tibet. 00:58:22.792 --> 00:58:26.295 And, uh, they went up to take a look at the mountain. 00:58:28.381 --> 00:58:30.675 CONRAD: It was supposed to be a rest day. 00:58:30.758 --> 00:58:35.346 David Bridges, Alex and I went up, getting ready to do the climb... 00:58:35.430 --> 00:58:41.102 and we got to this point- it was probably 7:30, 8:00 in the morning. 00:58:41.185 --> 00:58:45.148 All of a sudden, there was, like, this crack, and we looked up and it was, "Oh, shit." 00:58:45.231 --> 00:58:47.025 There was a- a release. 00:58:47.108 --> 00:58:49.110 (RUMBLING) 00:58:49.193 --> 00:58:53.072 JENNI: Before Alex left, I had this weird premonition. 00:58:53.156 --> 00:58:55.450 I didn't want him to go on the climb. 00:58:55.533 --> 00:58:57.452 I said, you know... 00:58:57.535 --> 00:59:00.788 "I'm worried that you're gonna die in an avalanche." 00:59:00.872 --> 00:59:05.251 And Alex said, "I always come home." 00:59:05.334 --> 00:59:07.462 (RUMBLING) 00:59:07.545 --> 00:59:12.216 CONRAD: Alex and David ran straight downhill. I traversed at an angle. 00:59:12.300 --> 00:59:15.803 I was like, "I'm gonna lay down before the avalanche hits." 00:59:15.887 --> 00:59:21.017 And as I looked over, David and Alex were still upright, and they were still running. 00:59:21.100 --> 00:59:24.395 I was picked up and thrown, battered, tumbled. 00:59:24.479 --> 00:59:27.565 And just kind of half-buried. 00:59:27.648 --> 00:59:31.277 And then... it was silent. 00:59:34.906 --> 00:59:36.908 I remember standing up and walking around... 00:59:36.991 --> 00:59:41.746 and going over to where I had seen them, and there was nothing there. 00:59:41.829 --> 00:59:47.251 There was no ski stick or a glove sticking out of the snow or anything like that. 00:59:47.335 --> 00:59:49.837 Our other teammates came up to help with the search... 00:59:49.921 --> 00:59:54.675 and we searched there for the better part of the day. 00:59:54.759 --> 00:59:58.096 I went back down to camp. I needed some medical attention. 01:00:01.057 --> 01:00:04.477 JENNI: I got the phone call. I thought it was Alex at first. 01:00:04.560 --> 01:00:08.272 And Andrew's voice came on, and I instantly panicked. 01:00:08.356 --> 01:00:11.734 Andrew's like, "Jenni, there's been an avalanche." 01:00:11.818 --> 01:00:14.529 You know, and then my heart was racing. 01:00:15.780 --> 01:00:19.283 Right away, I said, "Is Conrad there?" 01:00:19.367 --> 01:00:21.994 Because, you know, I thought that... 01:00:22.078 --> 01:00:25.581 somehow Conrad would've protected Alex. 01:00:25.665 --> 01:00:29.210 You know, that it couldn't happen to him if Conrad was there with him. 01:00:31.295 --> 01:00:34.340 I remember Jenni saying, "Is there anything else you can do? 01:00:34.423 --> 01:00:39.637 Can you go back and look for him?" And we're like, "No. It's just- He's gone." 01:00:39.720 --> 01:00:43.432 And it was- it was- 01:00:43.516 --> 01:00:46.394 There was, um- There was just this finality of it. 01:00:49.605 --> 01:00:53.818 KRAKAUER: After Alex died, Conrad went through this transformation. 01:00:53.901 --> 01:00:55.653 He was just- He looked gaunt. 01:00:55.736 --> 01:01:01.075 He was- He had retreated somewhere deep inside and wasn't comin' out. 01:01:01.159 --> 01:01:04.412 I worried he was over the edge and wasn't coming back. 01:01:07.081 --> 01:01:09.375 CONRAD: It's just- I mean, the wheels were coming off. 01:01:09.458 --> 01:01:14.005 And, um, I didn't know why I was so fucked up. 01:01:14.088 --> 01:01:18.217 Gil Roberts, a friend of mine, who was in a very similar situation. 01:01:18.301 --> 01:01:20.678 He was there when his climbing partner died. 01:01:20.761 --> 01:01:24.348 And more than once, he picked up the phone, and he's like, "Hey, man. 01:01:24.432 --> 01:01:26.517 I've gotta come talk to you. We've gotta get together." 01:01:26.601 --> 01:01:29.562 And I didn't know why Gil wanted to get ahold of me. 01:01:29.645 --> 01:01:32.440 And it was, like- 01:01:32.523 --> 01:01:36.819 I remember his line. He's like, "Yep. Survivor's guilt is a bear." 01:01:36.903 --> 01:01:39.363 And having to do that. And it was, like- 01:01:39.447 --> 01:01:42.366 Because for me, it's, like, this heavy fucking thing... 01:01:42.450 --> 01:01:44.785 that wouldn't leave me alone. 01:01:44.869 --> 01:01:47.038 'Cause Alex had it going on. 01:01:47.121 --> 01:01:50.625 Here he was, he was successful. He had three kids, a happy married life. 01:01:50.708 --> 01:01:54.629 Everything was cool, and I lived in a van. 01:01:56.839 --> 01:02:01.886 JENNI: Conrad was filled with remorse over Alex's death... 01:02:01.969 --> 01:02:06.349 and he came back from the expedition... 01:02:06.432 --> 01:02:10.311 feeling like he was the one who should've died. 01:02:12.438 --> 01:02:14.440 CONRAD: Trying to find balance and peace in that... 01:02:14.523 --> 01:02:16.150 I just didn't know where to go. 01:02:16.234 --> 01:02:18.402 But it always circled back to being with Jenni... 01:02:18.486 --> 01:02:21.447 and the conversations that we had on the telephone... 01:02:21.530 --> 01:02:23.950 and being together with each other. 01:02:30.706 --> 01:02:32.416 JENNI: I think he felt like... 01:02:32.500 --> 01:02:36.337 to continue being a great friend, he needed to be there for us. 01:02:38.172 --> 01:02:42.176 It was like a little connection to Alex that was still there for me. 01:02:42.260 --> 01:02:46.764 And then, you know, before we- either of us knew what was happening... 01:02:46.847 --> 01:02:48.766 we were kind of falling in love. 01:02:48.849 --> 01:02:53.437 CONRAD: The duress of this tragedy- Jenni and I, we fell in love. 01:02:53.521 --> 01:02:59.026 And then eventually we married, and I have adopted the boys. 01:02:59.110 --> 01:03:01.946 (TYPING) 01:03:04.824 --> 01:03:08.286 JENNI: I wasn't like I chose and said, "Okay. 01:03:08.369 --> 01:03:11.539 I'm gonna fall in love with another climber." It just kind of happened. 01:03:13.541 --> 01:03:18.546 I still think I might have been better off with a cowboy. 01:03:20.381 --> 01:03:22.758 KRAKAUER: Conrad has this side to him that realizes... 01:03:22.842 --> 01:03:25.678 "I got some heavy responsibilities here." 01:03:25.761 --> 01:03:30.224 it's the key to Conrad. There's this constant dialectic. 01:03:30.308 --> 01:03:34.478 He needs the mountains to climb, but it's like, "Am I taking too many chances? 01:03:34.562 --> 01:03:37.732 Can I control the risk?" Of course you can't control the risk. 01:03:37.815 --> 01:03:41.527 "Well, why am I doing this? Because I have to do it or I go fucking crazy." 01:03:54.665 --> 01:03:58.336 RENAN: In the end, Jimmy and Conrad left the decision up to me. 01:03:58.419 --> 01:03:59.420 (SHUTTER CLICKS) 01:03:59.503 --> 01:04:02.673 Even though it'd only been five months since the accident... 01:04:02.757 --> 01:04:06.010 I decided I wanted to give it a go. 01:04:06.093 --> 01:04:10.639 CONRAD: We had become so close after the 2008 ordeal... 01:04:10.723 --> 01:04:14.518 that to not give him the opportunity- 01:04:14.602 --> 01:04:17.438 it wasn't celebrating the teamwork that we came into the climb with. 01:04:17.521 --> 01:04:19.732 - That was the decision. - (EXHALES) 01:04:24.695 --> 01:04:28.532 AMEE: Well, I wasn't really given a choice... in the matter. 01:04:28.616 --> 01:04:30.993 Renan actually decided to go to Meru... 01:04:31.077 --> 01:04:33.454 and bought a plane ticket and didn't even tell me. 01:04:34.455 --> 01:04:37.375 It was kind of a slap in the face, but... 01:04:37.458 --> 01:04:41.253 the bigger concern was his safety. 01:04:43.005 --> 01:04:45.216 JIMMY: He knew the heat that we were taking... 01:04:45.299 --> 01:04:49.637 and he knew that we had to trust him to let him go. 01:04:49.720 --> 01:04:51.931 And that's what we did. We trusted him. 01:04:54.850 --> 01:04:57.353 KRAKAUER: Maybe that's way over the heads of most people... 01:04:57.436 --> 01:05:01.774 that kind of risk and that kind of expression of trust. 01:05:01.857 --> 01:05:07.071 But when Conrad was a young buck, and Mugs was teaching him... 01:05:07.154 --> 01:05:10.324 they'd be at a really sketchy pitch- dangerous, you can't afford to fall. 01:05:10.408 --> 01:05:14.620 Mugs would be like, "Okay, Conrad, we all know that I can lead this. 01:05:14.703 --> 01:05:18.582 Now let's see if you can lead it. Are you ready?" 01:05:18.666 --> 01:05:21.752 So many decades later, it was Conrad... 01:05:21.836 --> 01:05:26.757 saying to Jimmy, Renan, "Okay, you guys had a rough spring. 01:05:26.841 --> 01:05:29.677 But you can do this. I trust you, and we're gonna do this." 01:05:42.273 --> 01:05:44.275 (CHATTERING) 01:05:51.365 --> 01:05:55.453 (CHANTING) 01:06:05.629 --> 01:06:09.467 JIMMY: The entire hike in was intense. 01:06:12.052 --> 01:06:15.973 There's no doubt that I had a heavy heart going into it. 01:06:16.056 --> 01:06:20.144 It felt just like so much... 01:06:20.227 --> 01:06:21.812 pressure. 01:06:21.896 --> 01:06:26.358 You know, it felt a little bit like we were heading to the gallows. You know? 01:06:47.922 --> 01:06:50.049 RENAN: Fifteen feet, Conrad! 01:06:53.844 --> 01:06:57.723 (EQUIPMENT CLINKING) 01:06:59.266 --> 01:07:01.936 (SHOUTING, INDISTINCT) 01:07:23.582 --> 01:07:27.878 CONRAD: The old geek ripped. 01:07:27.962 --> 01:07:30.214 - Is that what sent ya? - Yeah. 01:07:32.049 --> 01:07:36.178 I just heard the "ping" and then the fucking gear rattling. 01:07:36.262 --> 01:07:38.931 Cha-ching, cha-ching. 01:07:39.014 --> 01:07:41.725 Oh, it was a good- Of all the places to fall though- 01:07:41.809 --> 01:07:42.809 Ah, it's dreamy. 01:07:42.851 --> 01:07:45.312 JIMMY: That was a good place to fall. 01:07:45.396 --> 01:07:48.732 It must have been, like, five pounds on you, huh, Renan, like- 01:07:48.816 --> 01:07:53.279 RENAN: Yeah. Well, I got lifted off the triangle ledge. 01:07:54.697 --> 01:07:57.199 (FABRIC FLAPPING) 01:07:59.368 --> 01:08:01.370 (WIND HOWLING) 01:08:03.497 --> 01:08:05.624 - (RUSTLING) - (GRUNTING) 01:08:06.333 --> 01:08:11.088 Oh! Fuck! 01:08:13.090 --> 01:08:14.800 JIMMY: Oh, man. 01:08:15.801 --> 01:08:17.678 RENAN: Survival mode. 01:08:21.348 --> 01:08:23.350 It's broke. 01:08:25.352 --> 01:08:29.440 We're Himalayan big-wall climbing, and we broke our portaledge. 01:08:38.449 --> 01:08:40.534 - That's more straight. - Yeah. 01:08:49.418 --> 01:08:52.129 - JIMMY: Whew. - CONRAD: Athletic tape... 01:08:52.212 --> 01:08:55.633 two eye screws, and- and we're back in business. 01:08:56.216 --> 01:08:57.718 Whew. 01:09:08.228 --> 01:09:10.856 MAN: (SINGING) ♪ One night of magic rush ♪ 01:09:10.939 --> 01:09:13.817 ♪ The start a simple touch ♪ 01:09:13.901 --> 01:09:17.279 ♪ One night to push and scream ♪ 01:09:17.363 --> 01:09:19.323 ♪ And then relief ♪ 01:09:19.406 --> 01:09:22.034 ♪ Ten days of perfect tunes ♪ 01:09:22.117 --> 01:09:24.662 ♪ The colors red and blue ♪ 01:09:24.745 --> 01:09:28.415 ♪ We had a promise made ♪ 01:09:28.499 --> 01:09:31.502 ♪ We were in love ♪ 01:09:33.087 --> 01:09:35.839 ♪ To call for hands of above ♪ 01:09:35.923 --> 01:09:39.176 JIMMY: That there is called space hauling. 01:09:41.053 --> 01:09:43.597 This route's pretty steep. 01:09:43.681 --> 01:09:47.226 That's why all the shit's hanging off in space. (CHUCKLING) 01:09:57.277 --> 01:09:59.279 (MUTTERING) 01:10:01.782 --> 01:10:05.661 (CHUCKLES) I just had to film what we're eating right now. 01:10:06.787 --> 01:10:10.541 Conrad wants us to eat yesterday's leftovers. 01:10:10.624 --> 01:10:13.252 Oh, it looks great. 01:10:13.335 --> 01:10:15.629 CONRAD: We have one choice on the menu, and it is couscous. 01:10:15.713 --> 01:10:17.256 JIMMY: Tomorrow, what are we having for dinner? 01:10:17.339 --> 01:10:18.340 Couscous. 01:10:18.424 --> 01:10:20.134 - JIMMY: (LAUGHING) And the next day? - Couscous. 01:10:20.217 --> 01:10:21.927 JIMMY: What did we have for dinner four days ago? 01:10:22.010 --> 01:10:24.138 - Couscous. - JIMMY: Sweet. 01:10:24.221 --> 01:10:26.515 CONRAD: This looks really good, I think. 01:10:26.598 --> 01:10:30.686 I'm sure that, uh Happy and Leroy, my two dogs, would just love this. 01:10:30.769 --> 01:10:32.229 They'd be like, "Yeah!" 01:10:32.312 --> 01:10:34.148 We're not his dogs. 01:10:34.815 --> 01:10:36.316 Mmm. 01:10:38.360 --> 01:10:39.862 Mmm, couscous. 01:10:43.365 --> 01:10:44.867 (YAWNS) 01:10:57.921 --> 01:10:59.423 Whew. 01:11:15.189 --> 01:11:19.610 JIMMY: I was watching Renan, and he seemed confused and slow. 01:11:19.693 --> 01:11:21.779 I thought it might have been the altitude. 01:11:35.334 --> 01:11:37.044 I'm not sure what's going on. 01:11:38.086 --> 01:11:39.588 (METAL CLINKS) 01:11:39.671 --> 01:11:43.008 RENAN'S VOICE: Something was really wrong. 01:11:46.553 --> 01:11:51.683 I literally just turned my face away and cried. 01:11:54.269 --> 01:11:57.314 JIMMY: When we finally got the portaledge built and got inside... 01:11:57.397 --> 01:12:01.068 that's when Renan really fell apart. 01:12:01.151 --> 01:12:02.861 He just collapsed. 01:12:02.945 --> 01:12:06.865 (MAN VOCALIZING) 01:12:08.951 --> 01:12:11.829 (VOCALIZING CONTINUES) 01:12:11.912 --> 01:12:13.872 JIMMY: He tried to say something to me... 01:12:13.956 --> 01:12:17.835 and it was just complete gibberish. 01:12:17.918 --> 01:12:21.380 You know, you could see the alarm in his eyes that, like... 01:12:21.463 --> 01:12:23.173 however hard he was trying to speak... 01:12:23.257 --> 01:12:25.509 it wasn't happening. 01:12:25.592 --> 01:12:28.762 (VOCALIZING CONTINUES) 01:12:28.846 --> 01:12:33.016 It'd been a year and a half earlier that, uh, my father had suffered a stroke... 01:12:33.100 --> 01:12:35.853 and I'd seen what it does. 01:12:41.942 --> 01:12:44.528 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 01:12:55.956 --> 01:12:58.876 You know, we're making calculations in our head, and we're like... 01:12:58.959 --> 01:13:01.378 "Well, we can't go down right now. 01:13:01.461 --> 01:13:04.298 We'll make a mistake. We're way too wasted." 01:13:06.300 --> 01:13:10.345 CONRAD: it was a moment of, uh, anxiety. It was moment of unknown. 01:13:10.429 --> 01:13:14.391 It was a moment of acceptance that we might not make it up the route. 01:13:14.474 --> 01:13:19.021 Acceptance that- of Renan's health... 01:13:19.104 --> 01:13:23.317 that where he was, there was nothing we could do about it. 01:13:30.741 --> 01:13:33.243 (WIND WHISTLING) 01:13:36.163 --> 01:13:38.165 (FABRIC FLAPPING) 01:13:46.506 --> 01:13:49.092 RENAN: The next morning, the sun was shining. 01:13:51.345 --> 01:13:53.221 I felt a little bit better... 01:13:53.305 --> 01:13:55.807 but I still couldn't really talk. 01:13:55.891 --> 01:14:01.146 All that I could think about is, "I don't want to go down." 01:14:01.229 --> 01:14:05.275 "If we go down, then I'll never forgive myself." 01:14:05.359 --> 01:14:10.364 I still just felt strongly that I had to contribute to the team and not let us down. 01:14:13.241 --> 01:14:15.619 It was my turn to lead. 01:14:15.702 --> 01:14:20.540 Those guys didn't want me to go, but I looked up at Jimmy... 01:14:20.624 --> 01:14:25.128 nodded, and it was understood that I was going for it. 01:14:27.756 --> 01:14:30.050 They were monitoring me very closely. 01:14:36.640 --> 01:14:38.642 (EQUIPMENT CLINKING) 01:14:45.482 --> 01:14:48.026 From somewhere, I started to feel this momentum... 01:14:48.110 --> 01:14:50.237 and climbing started to feel good. 01:14:53.240 --> 01:14:56.660 I couldn't believe I finished my leads. 01:14:56.743 --> 01:14:59.121 It was this huge breakthrough for me. 01:15:04.418 --> 01:15:07.838 Jimmy and Conrad were still really worried about me... 01:15:08.755 --> 01:15:11.299 and they carried most of my weight. 01:15:28.859 --> 01:15:33.071 Meru... it's relentless. Every time. 01:15:33.155 --> 01:15:36.366 RENAN'S VOICE: We still don't know what happened that day. 01:15:36.450 --> 01:15:40.203 We just smoked a cigarette together and talked about it... 01:15:40.287 --> 01:15:42.622 and decided to keep going. 01:15:52.132 --> 01:15:57.054 After seven days of climbing, we were just getting to the hard part. 01:15:57.137 --> 01:16:00.307 The wall got super steep and overhanging. 01:16:01.975 --> 01:16:04.227 CONRAD: This is pitch 20. Jimmy's getting after it. 01:16:04.311 --> 01:16:07.647 It's the House of Cards, the start of the Indian Ocean Wall. 01:16:11.902 --> 01:16:13.779 RENAN: I knew he was scared. 01:16:15.155 --> 01:16:19.326 We all knew any mistake on this pitch could be catastrophic. 01:16:20.911 --> 01:16:22.788 JIMMY: Wow, that's... it looks longer... 01:16:22.871 --> 01:16:25.916 than it did last night. (LAUGHING) 01:16:25.999 --> 01:16:28.251 In the House of Cards pitch, they called it that because... 01:16:28.335 --> 01:16:31.088 it's these immense blocks of granite. 01:16:31.171 --> 01:16:35.092 If you pull one of 'em too hard, this whole thing's gonna come down... 01:16:35.175 --> 01:16:38.887 like a house of cards, only each card weighs, you know, 10,000 pounds... 01:16:38.970 --> 01:16:42.641 and those sharp edges is gonna just floss 'em all off the wall. 01:16:43.767 --> 01:16:45.769 See these giant blocks? 01:16:47.646 --> 01:16:50.023 They are moving under my weight. 01:16:53.777 --> 01:16:57.697 (HOLLOW KNOCKING) 01:16:59.032 --> 01:17:01.368 Those are the sounds you don't like to hear. 01:17:08.542 --> 01:17:10.293 (METAL CLINKING) 01:17:12.546 --> 01:17:16.675 RENAN: It was really intense. He was up there for six hours... 01:17:16.758 --> 01:17:19.719 and it was exhausting for all of us. 01:17:22.430 --> 01:17:26.309 They're on a sloping hill, and when you hit 'em, you watch both of 'em going. 01:17:26.393 --> 01:17:29.229 - Yeah, and everything here, I mean- - That would just chop everything. 01:17:29.312 --> 01:17:31.523 And then we'd- we'd be fucked. 01:17:39.573 --> 01:17:43.910 (WIND WHISTLING) 01:17:53.295 --> 01:17:58.300 - (FABRIC FLAPPING) - Well, it's our summit-bid evening. 01:17:59.426 --> 01:18:01.761 And it's dumping. 01:18:03.346 --> 01:18:04.848 (SIGHS) 01:18:05.682 --> 01:18:07.350 (MURMURS) 01:18:07.434 --> 01:18:09.186 - CONRAD: More suffering. - JIMMY: It's been dumping... 01:18:09.269 --> 01:18:14.399 - for... - since 3:30. 01:18:14.482 --> 01:18:16.526 Five, six hours now. 01:18:16.610 --> 01:18:19.112 (FABRIC FLAPPING) 01:18:23.950 --> 01:18:26.953 JIMMY: How's it lookin' out there, Renan? 01:18:27.037 --> 01:18:30.749 Well, despite the, uh... 01:18:30.832 --> 01:18:33.251 heavy winds and getting battered... 01:18:33.335 --> 01:18:36.546 in the ledge for the last four hours... 01:18:36.630 --> 01:18:38.798 there's stars... 01:18:38.882 --> 01:18:41.927 so we're goin' for it. 01:19:07.577 --> 01:19:11.081 (EQUIPMENT JINGLING) 01:19:17.170 --> 01:19:20.090 It's probably negative 20 out. 01:19:20.173 --> 01:19:21.925 I can't feel my feet. 01:19:24.761 --> 01:19:26.263 But at least it's windy. 01:19:32.227 --> 01:19:33.979 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 01:19:35.522 --> 01:19:37.274 Just waitin' for the sun. 01:19:39.734 --> 01:19:41.528 (EXHALING) 01:19:41.611 --> 01:19:44.531 Oh, man, I can't fucking think straight. 01:19:44.614 --> 01:19:46.950 RENAN: Good job, Conrad! 01:19:51.454 --> 01:19:54.291 (PANTING) 01:19:59.087 --> 01:20:01.798 JIMMY: On the summit push, I think all of us... 01:20:01.881 --> 01:20:05.844 and probably Conrad the most, was dreading the upper pitches. 01:20:05.927 --> 01:20:09.055 Because he knew he was the only one that could do 'em. 01:20:09.139 --> 01:20:13.101 And it was a really hard and dangerous lead. 01:20:17.897 --> 01:20:20.400 RENAN: Conrad carried a lot of pressure that day. 01:20:22.277 --> 01:20:26.239 It's really hard to explain to anyone what he did up there. 01:20:44.924 --> 01:20:49.679 JIMMY: We finally get to the summit ridge, where we turned around in 2008. 01:20:49.763 --> 01:20:54.309 And we hadn't really talked about who was gonna take the last lead. 01:20:54.392 --> 01:20:56.603 And that was the final, unknown section. 01:21:00.982 --> 01:21:05.695 Conrad looked at me, and he was like, "All right." 01:21:05.779 --> 01:21:09.032 CONRAD: I was like, "Jimmy, this is your lead. 01:21:09.115 --> 01:21:13.078 It's your turn to take the reigns." 01:22:07.173 --> 01:22:08.633 (GROANS) 01:22:08.716 --> 01:22:10.927 (PANTING) 01:22:11.010 --> 01:22:12.720 CONRAD: Nice, Jimmy. 01:22:19.853 --> 01:22:22.021 Whoo! 01:22:22.772 --> 01:22:24.941 Whoo! 01:22:29.279 --> 01:22:32.866 - Yeah, Renan. - Fuck, yeah. 01:22:37.078 --> 01:22:38.580 (LAUGHING) 01:22:41.791 --> 01:22:43.126 Yeah. 01:22:45.628 --> 01:22:47.380 Yeah, Mugs! 01:22:48.214 --> 01:22:49.924 Got it for ya! 01:22:51.009 --> 01:22:52.886 (PANTING) 01:23:00.810 --> 01:23:03.813 (BREATHING REGGEDLY) 01:23:22.457 --> 01:23:24.334 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 01:23:30.340 --> 01:23:33.426 Ten years of climbing together. 01:23:46.773 --> 01:23:48.691 RENAN: There was... 01:23:50.151 --> 01:23:53.029 There was some points where I didn't think I was gonna make it. 01:23:53.112 --> 01:23:57.617 And I know it stressed those guys out a lot, so- 01:24:00.703 --> 01:24:03.039 Definitely happy to be up here... 01:24:04.249 --> 01:24:08.711 and, uh, take part in Conrad's 20-year dream... 01:24:08.795 --> 01:24:14.300 and 10 years of Jimmy and Conrad climbing together... 01:24:14.384 --> 01:24:18.555 and... yeah, feel part of the team. 01:26:01.908 --> 01:26:05.328 WOMAN: (SINGING) ♪ When the cold bites your bones ♪ 01:26:05.411 --> 01:26:08.665 ♪ And gets in your heart ♪ 01:26:08.748 --> 01:26:14.087 ♪ It can make you feel hopeless ♪ 01:26:16.381 --> 01:26:22.679 ♪ And fear will come to steal your sun and make it dark ♪ 01:26:23.763 --> 01:26:28.935 ♪ But don't believe you're lonely ♪ 01:26:31.354 --> 01:26:36.859 ♪ We've all had that moment when our shoulders sink ♪ 01:26:36.943 --> 01:26:40.446 ♪ And we sit back and think ♪ 01:26:40.530 --> 01:26:44.742 ♪ We could just run ♪ 01:26:44.826 --> 01:26:49.205 ♪ But we're not born to chase the fading light ♪ 01:26:49.288 --> 01:26:53.042 ♪ We're not born to fall and lose the fight ♪ 01:26:53.126 --> 01:26:58.715 ♪ Never letting go Oh, no, oh ♪ 01:26:58.798 --> 01:27:03.886 ♪ I'm askin' you to lift me, lift me higher than I ever been ♪ 01:27:03.970 --> 01:27:07.807 ♪ I Hold your breath and say you're gonna come with me ♪ 01:27:07.890 --> 01:27:12.395 ♪ We were born to follow ♪ 01:27:12.478 --> 01:27:16.232 ♪ The light that never fails ♪ 01:27:16.315 --> 01:27:20.194 (WOMAN VOCALIZING) 01:27:22.905 --> 01:27:28.828 ♪ You're scared to fight, you're scared to climb, afraid to die ♪ 01:27:30.371 --> 01:27:35.042 ♪ But I can be your courage ♪ 01:27:37.670 --> 01:27:43.509 ♪ And help you see you've already won this ♪ 01:27:45.261 --> 01:27:50.558 ♪ We all have that moment when our head hangs low ♪ 01:27:50.641 --> 01:27:54.103 ♪ We question if we should go ♪ 01:27:54.187 --> 01:27:58.649 ♪ Or turn back and run ♪ 01:27:58.733 --> 01:28:03.112 ♪ But we're not born to chase the fading light ♪ 01:28:03.196 --> 01:28:06.866 ♪ We're not born to fall and lose the fight ♪ 01:28:06.949 --> 01:28:12.622 ♪ Never letting go Oh, no, oh ♪ 01:28:12.705 --> 01:28:17.794 ♪ I'm askin' you to lift me, lift me higher than I ever been ♪ 01:28:17.877 --> 01:28:21.756 ♪ I Hold your breath and say you're gonna come with me ♪ 01:28:21.839 --> 01:28:26.302 ♪ We were born to follow ♪ 01:28:26.385 --> 01:28:33.893 ♪ The light that never fails ♪ 01:28:33.976 --> 01:28:40.608 ♪ Come along We're settin' sail ♪ 01:28:41.651 --> 01:28:44.987 ♪ Never looking back again ♪ 01:28:49.242 --> 01:28:52.829 ♪ We're not born to chase the fading light ♪ 01:28:52.912 --> 01:28:56.749 ♪ We're not born to fall and lose the fight ♪ 01:28:56.833 --> 01:29:02.421 ♪ Never letting go Oh, no, oh ♪ 01:29:02.505 --> 01:29:07.718 ♪ I'm askin' you to lift me, lift me higher than I ever been ♪ 01:29:07.802 --> 01:29:11.514 ♪ Hold your breath and say you're gonna come with me ♪ 01:29:11.597 --> 01:29:16.018 ♪ We were born to follow ♪ 01:29:16.102 --> 01:29:20.857 ♪ The light that never fails ♪ 01:29:20.940 --> 01:29:26.320 ♪ The light that never fails ♪ 01:29:26.404 --> 01:29:30.867 ♪ We were born to follow ♪ 01:29:30.950 --> 01:29:38.541 - ♪ The light that never ♪ - (VOCALIZING) 01:29:38.624 --> 01:29:45.756 - ♪ Light that never ♪ - (VOCALIZING) 01:29:45.840 --> 01:29:51.345 ♪ The light that never fails ♪ 01:29:51.369 --> 01:30:11.369 Telegram Channel and Instagram Page .:: @bollbolljan_com ::.