WEBVTT

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..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::..
‏.::  www.bolboljan.net ::.

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CHRISTINA AGUILERA: (SINGING)
<i>There's no bell</i>

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<i>When you call for me</i>

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<i>You'll be falling for miles</i>

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(SPOOKY LAUGHTER ON ALARM)

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<i>I'm bewitched by your misery</i>

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<i>But I love it when you smile</i>

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<i>Let me know
what you want from me</i>

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<i>Whisper "love" in my ears</i>

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<i>Before you try
to get your hooks in me</i>

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<i>I should warn you, my dear</i>

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<i>My heart is a haunted house</i>

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<i>Once you're in,
you ain't getting out</i>

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<i>It's the trap
you've been waiting for</i>

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<i>Ain't no windows,
ain't no doors</i>

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<i>No escaping the way you feel</i>

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<i>It's like a dream,
but you hope it's real</i>

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<i>My, my, my heart</i>

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- <i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>
- CHOIR: <i>Haunted house</i>

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(WOMAN WHIMPERS)

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CHRISTINA AGUILERA:
<i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>

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- CHOIR: <i>Haunted house</i>
- (VILLAGERS GASPING)

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(VILLAGERS GRUMBLING)

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(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

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(PLAYING WEDDING MARCH)

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(ALL EXCLAIM)

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My love.

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<i>Cara mia.</i>

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(GASPS) The ring! The ring!
Oh, no! No, no, no!

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Oh, Thing!
Best hand always has the ring!

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PRIEST: Dearly be-loathed,

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it is indeed a rare privilege
to see our family

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gathered together
for this Addams tradition.

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To commence this ceremony

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and deliver these two

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into the yawning void
of matrimony,

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we put the lime in the coconut
and drink them both up.

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(SLURPING)

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(GUESTS GULPING)

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(SOBBING)

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(SUCKING)

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I now pronounce you...

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VILLAGER 1: Monsters!
VILLAGER 2: Freaks!

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VILLAGER 3: Get out, Addams!

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VILLAGER 4: You've been here
long enough!

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VILLAGER 5: We've had
enough of your kind!

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Addams aren't wanted here!

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VILLAGER 6: Leave already!

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(QUICKLY) I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

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Quick, put the lime
in the coconut

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and drink 'em both up!

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(VILLAGERS CLAMORING)

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Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

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VILLAGER 7: This is our home!

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VILLAGER 8: You're not wanted!

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VILLAGER 9:
We don't want you here!

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Everyone, to the bridge!

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(ALL GASP)

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Fire!

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VILLAGER: Fire!

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(GUESTS SCREAMING)

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(FESTER YELLING)

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(ALL YELLING)

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(VILLAGERS GASPING)

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You two love bats
better fly out of here!

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I'll hold them off!

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Mazurka! (SCREAMS)

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(VILLAGERS WHIMPERING)

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(GRANDMA ULULATING)

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Grab onto my hairy hump!

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(FESTER GRUNTING)

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I think I can see
my house from here. (ECHOING)

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Oh, no.
That's a women's prison.

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Oh, Gomez, why do hordes
of angry villagers

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follow us everywhere we go?

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We are safe, my love,
that is all that matters.

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I want to find a new home

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that is shrouded
from the world.

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Someplace that is truly us.

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Yes! Somewhere horrible!
Somewhere corrupt!

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Somewhere that no one
in their right mind

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would be caught dead in!

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(TIRES SCREECHING)

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GOMEZ: Unhappy, darling?

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MORTICIA: Yes, completely.

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Oh, Gomez,
you have torn down my walls

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and stabbed your name
onto my heart.

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(GOMEZ KISSING AND MOANING)

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GOMEZ: My wan temptress,

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your hand is as cold
as a dead fish.

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My love, that is a dead fish.

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Mmm, mmm...

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So it is.

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(GOMEZ CONTINUES KISSING)

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Darling,

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is that a wrinkle
I see on your pallid brow?

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What's wrong?

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We can't run forever, my love.

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I want a home again.

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I want our children
to grow up in peace.

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I want to pick out
cemetery plots.

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Morticia, I swear on my life
I will find us a new home.

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And your every wish
shall be granted.

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<i>Mon amour.</i>

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(GASPS) French. You know
what that does to me. (GROWLS)

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(MORTICIA SPEAKING FRENCH)

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MALE SINGER ON RADIO:
(SINGING) <i>Wild thing</i>

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<i>You make my heart...</i>

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(TIRES SCREECHING)

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- (MORTICIA GASPS)
- BOTH: We hit something!

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- Is he all right?
- (MAN MOANS)

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No, he seems
perfectly demented.

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"State Hospital for
the Criminally Insane."

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Gomez.

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GOMEZ: That must be
the asylum.

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MORTICIA: Oh, thank goodness.

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A decent place
to sleep for the night.

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(MOANING AND ROARING)

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Hmm?

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Thank you, old boy.
Lead the way.

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(GROANS)

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GOMEZ: It's quiet. Too quiet.

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MORTICIA:
Must be the off-season.

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(DOOR CREAKS, SLAMS)

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GOMEZ: Hello?

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(RATS SQUEAKING)

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There's no one here.

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Could it be abandoned?

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GOMEZ: It's creepy. Kooky.

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MORTICIA: Mysterious. Spooky.

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(ORGAN PLAYING OMINOUS MUSIC)

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- (STOPS PLAYING)
- Huh?

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(PLAYS BEETHOVEN'S
<i>5th SYMPHONY)</i>

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(PLAYS BACH'S
<i>TOCCATA AND FUGUE)</i>

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(PLAYS UPBEAT TUNE)

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(PLAYS <i>HALLELUJAH CHORUS)</i>

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(PLAYS CLASSICAL TUNE)

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(PLAYS CLASSICAL TUNE)

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(PLAYS FANFARE)

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(PLAYING ASCENDING SCALE)

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(CONTINUES PLAYING)

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- (PLAYING <i>ADDAMS FAMILY THEME)</i>
- (SNAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)

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(RUMBLING)

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SPIRIT OF THE HOUSE: <i>Get out!</i>

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It's hideous.

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It's horrible.

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BOTH: It's home.

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(RESUMES PLAYING
<i>ADDAMS FAMILY THEME)</i>

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(RHYTHMIC THUNDERCLAP)

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(ROMANTIC FLAMENCO
MUSIC PLAYING)

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(THUNDER RUMBLING)

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(KITTY ROARS)

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(THUNDERCLAP)

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(THUNDER RUMBLING)

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(BABY COOING)

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(MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING)

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(THUNDERCLAP)

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(UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)

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(SINGERS EXCLAIMING)

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(WOMAN SHRIEKS)

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(WIND HOWLING)

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(BAT SQUEAKS)

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What a lovely morning!

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(SLAMS)

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Nice try.

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SPIRIT OF THE HOUSE: <i>Get out!</i>

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Oh, you're always so grumpy
before your morning coffee.

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(TOILET FLUSHES)

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Better?

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(SLURPING)

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(SPIRIT OF THE HOUSE EXHALES)

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(ALARM BLARING)

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(MOANS FRUSTRATEDLY)

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MORTICIA: (ON SPEAKERS)
<i>Lurch,</i>

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<i>it's time for breakfast.</i>

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(MOANING)

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MORTICIA: Thing.

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Have Ichabod
wake the children.

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Lurch, would you mind
dusting the house?

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LURCH: Mmm.

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Slowly, Cleopatra.

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I wouldn't want my favorite
African Strangler to choke.

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(LURCH MOANS)

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(VACUUM WHIRRING)

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(SNORING)

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(GASPS, SCREAMS)

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WEDNESDAY: (SIGHS)
All right, Ichabod. I'm awake.

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Not for long. (GRUNTS)

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Real mature, Pugsley.

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Oh, please.

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You never threw an axe
when you were my age?

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Of course I did.
I never missed.

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How I wish something
would liven up

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this already tedious day.

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(YELPS)

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(GRUNTS)

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Thanks for trying, Ichabod.

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(BICYCLE BELL RINGING)

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(RINGING)

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Hmm.

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(GATE THUDDING)

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- (GATE CREAKING)
- (GASPS)

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(RAVENS CAWING)

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GOMEZ: <i>Pugsley?</i>

00:14:13.786 --> 00:14:17.321
Pugsley! It's time
for sword practice.

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Pugsley!

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PUGSLEY: Let the games begin.

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(CHUCKLES WICKEDLY)

00:14:26.632 --> 00:14:27.899
(EXPLOSION)

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(RUMBLING)

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(BEEPS)

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Here's Pugsley!

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(DETONATOR BEEPS)

00:15:02.870 --> 00:15:03.871
(GRUNTS)

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(GASPS)

00:15:05.438 --> 00:15:06.439
(GRUNTS)

00:15:07.874 --> 00:15:10.378
GOMEZ: All right, son.
That's enough.

00:15:11.944 --> 00:15:14.748
(SIGHS) They blow up
so fast these days.

00:15:18.486 --> 00:15:19.787
(WIND WHISTLING)

00:15:22.689 --> 00:15:23.723
(RAPID BEEPING)

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Don't make me come up there!

00:15:32.098 --> 00:15:33.099
(RAPID BEEPING)

00:15:34.068 --> 00:15:35.803
This is your last warning!

00:15:38.072 --> 00:15:39.073
(PARACHUTE TEARS)

00:15:44.310 --> 00:15:45.445
(CRASHES)

00:15:46.779 --> 00:15:48.213
(GROANING)

00:15:48.215 --> 00:15:50.983
My head. Ow, ow, ow.

00:15:50.985 --> 00:15:54.418
Pugsley, we're supposed to be
working on your swordplay.

00:15:54.420 --> 00:15:56.622
Your Sabre Mazurka
is two weeks away,

00:15:56.624 --> 00:15:58.623
and you've barely
practiced at all.

00:15:58.625 --> 00:16:00.825
So I missed one practice.
What's the big deal?

00:16:00.827 --> 00:16:02.761
The big deal?

00:16:02.763 --> 00:16:05.397
The Sabre Mazurka
is the most important day

00:16:05.399 --> 00:16:06.663
in a young man's life.

00:16:06.665 --> 00:16:08.167
It's what makes you an Addams.

00:16:08.169 --> 00:16:11.268
It's the day your entire
family gathers around you

00:16:11.270 --> 00:16:14.772
and passes judgment on
your worth as a human being.

00:16:14.774 --> 00:16:16.273
I hear it's like Thanksgiving.

00:16:16.275 --> 00:16:19.243
But swords
are so old-fashioned.

00:16:19.245 --> 00:16:21.113
I'm more of a demolitions man.

00:16:21.115 --> 00:16:25.653
Explosives have no place
in a Mazurka. Hand them over.

00:16:29.122 --> 00:16:31.156
- All of them.
- (METAL CLATTERING)

00:16:31.158 --> 00:16:33.157
And the TNT.

00:16:33.159 --> 00:16:34.960
- And the M-80s.
- (CLATTERING CONTINUES)

00:16:34.962 --> 00:16:38.363
Roman candles. Bang snaps.
Holy Hand Grenades.

00:16:38.365 --> 00:16:39.830
- (SQUEAKING)
- (ROOSTER CROWS)

00:16:39.832 --> 00:16:44.536
Son, our family hasn't been
all together in 13 years.

00:16:44.538 --> 00:16:46.638
They are coming
from all over the world

00:16:46.640 --> 00:16:48.974
to see you
on your special day.

00:16:48.976 --> 00:16:51.011
I just want it
to go perfectly.

00:16:51.977 --> 00:16:53.979
All right, Pop.
I'll practice.

00:16:53.981 --> 00:16:55.513
That's my boy.

00:16:55.515 --> 00:16:57.481
(METAL CLATTERS, BEEPING)

00:16:57.483 --> 00:16:58.485
(RAPID BEEPING)

00:17:01.054 --> 00:17:03.287
MORTICIA: (SNIFFS) Putrid.

00:17:03.289 --> 00:17:04.690
Mmm. Horrifying.

00:17:04.692 --> 00:17:06.060
I call spleen.

00:17:08.495 --> 00:17:09.694
Mmm...

00:17:09.696 --> 00:17:11.162
- Ah, ow...
- MORTICIA: Wednesday.

00:17:11.164 --> 00:17:12.830
Please, no ink stains
on the table.

00:17:12.832 --> 00:17:14.733
- Yes, Mother.
- (PUGSLEY MUMBLES)

00:17:14.735 --> 00:17:15.736
(THUD)

00:17:18.471 --> 00:17:20.205
Gomez, everyone we've invited

00:17:20.207 --> 00:17:21.906
to the Mazurka
has threatened to come.

00:17:21.908 --> 00:17:24.808
I know. Isn't it wonderful?

00:17:24.810 --> 00:17:25.911
(SIGHS)

00:17:25.913 --> 00:17:29.147
All Addamses
under one roof again.

00:17:29.149 --> 00:17:30.916
Yes, but where will
everyone sleep?

00:17:30.918 --> 00:17:33.350
We'll have Lurch fix up
the mausoleum.

00:17:33.352 --> 00:17:34.852
It'll be like
sleepaway camp.

00:17:34.854 --> 00:17:36.120
(EXPLOSIVE BEEPING)

00:17:36.122 --> 00:17:38.389
- Very well, darling.
- (RAPID BEEPING)

00:17:38.391 --> 00:17:40.724
- (EXPLOSION)
- (FESTER SCREAMING)

00:17:40.726 --> 00:17:41.894
(GRUNTS)

00:17:41.896 --> 00:17:43.194
BOTH: Uncle Fester!

00:17:43.196 --> 00:17:44.862
Brother!

00:17:44.864 --> 00:17:46.232
(GROANING)

00:17:47.935 --> 00:17:49.234
Don't worry, I'm okay.

00:17:49.236 --> 00:17:51.336
The plate glass window
broke my fall.

00:17:51.338 --> 00:17:53.737
Ha! Ha!

00:17:53.739 --> 00:17:55.573
BOTH: (SINGING) <i>Rick'em,
rack'em, roar'em, buzz</i>

00:17:55.575 --> 00:17:57.542
<i>Addams is as Addams does</i>

00:17:57.544 --> 00:17:58.778
(BOTH EXCLAIM)

00:18:00.080 --> 00:18:02.214
- I am thrilled you're here!
- (GRUNTS)

00:18:02.216 --> 00:18:03.549
(FESTER CHUCKLES)

00:18:03.551 --> 00:18:04.949
I'm not late, am I?

00:18:04.951 --> 00:18:07.651
Actually, we weren't expecting
you for another two weeks.

00:18:07.653 --> 00:18:09.521
Huh. So, not late.

00:18:09.523 --> 00:18:11.055
I apologize, darling.

00:18:11.057 --> 00:18:13.124
You see,
I asked Fester to come early

00:18:13.126 --> 00:18:15.627
to help Pugsley
with his Mazurka practice.

00:18:15.629 --> 00:18:17.395
Hey! (GRUNTING)

00:18:17.397 --> 00:18:18.463
No! No!

00:18:18.465 --> 00:18:20.764
(MUFFLED) Bad Kitty!
That's a bad Kitty!

00:18:20.766 --> 00:18:22.032
If I'd known you were coming,

00:18:22.034 --> 00:18:23.801
I would have prepared
the dungeon.

00:18:23.803 --> 00:18:26.704
Please, don't worry.
I'll sleep in the attic.

00:18:26.706 --> 00:18:28.438
You won't even know I'm here.

00:18:28.440 --> 00:18:32.744
I've practiced that move
in a lot of people's homes.

00:18:32.746 --> 00:18:35.213
- (CHUCKLES EXCITEDLY)
- WEDNESDAY: Uncle,

00:18:35.215 --> 00:18:37.682
can you tell us
what's beyond the gate?

00:18:37.684 --> 00:18:39.553
- (TRAY CLATTERS)
- (LURCH GROANS)

00:18:40.586 --> 00:18:43.054
Why ever would you
ask that, dear?

00:18:43.056 --> 00:18:45.523
I heard a strange noise
in the fog earlier,

00:18:45.525 --> 00:18:47.157
and I should like
to investigate.

00:18:47.159 --> 00:18:49.327
There's nothing out there
but boring marshland.

00:18:49.329 --> 00:18:52.597
There must be something.
We never go anywhere.

00:18:52.599 --> 00:18:55.332
Who knows the untold horrors
we're missing out on.

00:18:55.334 --> 00:18:57.269
MORTICIA: Darling,
we have all the horror

00:18:57.271 --> 00:18:58.436
we need, right here.

00:18:58.438 --> 00:19:01.472
Uncle Fester can go
wherever he likes.

00:19:01.474 --> 00:19:03.375
Now, now,
there are some restrictions.

00:19:03.377 --> 00:19:05.444
You know,
I can't go to the mall,

00:19:05.446 --> 00:19:07.512
or a zoo, or a building...

00:19:07.514 --> 00:19:08.612
When you're older,

00:19:08.614 --> 00:19:10.314
you can travel
to your heart's content.

00:19:10.316 --> 00:19:13.120
But for now,
it's safer for you here.

00:19:13.852 --> 00:19:15.020
(SIGHS)

00:19:15.022 --> 00:19:16.524
Socrates, come.

00:19:18.191 --> 00:19:20.657
FESTER: ...South America,
Europe, China,

00:19:20.659 --> 00:19:23.360
Asia, most parts of Africa.

00:19:23.362 --> 00:19:25.332
I'm allowed in Antarctica!

00:19:33.840 --> 00:19:34.939
(TV CLICKS)

00:19:34.941 --> 00:19:36.709
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

00:19:38.445 --> 00:19:39.677
ANNOUNCER: <i>You're watching</i>

00:19:39.679 --> 00:19:41.948
<i>Home, Art
and Garden television.</i>

00:19:43.850 --> 00:19:46.818
The world's a big place,
full of poor souls

00:19:46.820 --> 00:19:49.853
who don't know the difference
between shiplap and Shinola.

00:19:49.855 --> 00:19:51.455
Well, I'm here to help.

00:19:51.457 --> 00:19:52.957
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

00:19:52.959 --> 00:19:56.060
<i>I take your
uninspired living space</i>

00:19:56.062 --> 00:19:59.129
<i>and turn it into the perfect
palace of your dreams.</i>

00:19:59.131 --> 00:20:02.902
No matter how outdated your
design sense, I can help you.

00:20:03.669 --> 00:20:05.203
<i>My only flaw?</i>

00:20:05.205 --> 00:20:07.171
<i>Sometimes I care too much.</i>

00:20:07.173 --> 00:20:08.340
(LAUGHS)

00:20:08.342 --> 00:20:10.308
I'm Margaux Needler,

00:20:10.310 --> 00:20:14.212
and I'm about to stage
a <i>Design Intervention!</i>

00:20:14.214 --> 00:20:16.580
You're welcome in advance.

00:20:16.582 --> 00:20:18.550
Today, we're putting
the finishing touches

00:20:18.552 --> 00:20:20.718
on our biggest project yet.

00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:22.387
Assimilation.

00:20:22.389 --> 00:20:24.421
We didn't just
make over a house.

00:20:24.423 --> 00:20:27.360
We made over a whole town!

00:20:28.428 --> 00:20:30.895
And in just two weeks,
on our live season finale,

00:20:30.897 --> 00:20:32.030
you will be able to buy

00:20:32.032 --> 00:20:33.599
your very own
piece of Assimilation.

00:20:33.601 --> 00:20:34.698
That's right!

00:20:34.700 --> 00:20:36.734
In a <i>Design Intervention</i>
first,

00:20:36.736 --> 00:20:40.204
we are putting a whole
neighborhood up for sale.

00:20:40.206 --> 00:20:42.005
This will be
your chance to purchase

00:20:42.007 --> 00:20:43.140
the house of your dreams

00:20:43.142 --> 00:20:45.275
in the town of your dreams!

00:20:45.277 --> 00:20:47.512
Sounds good?
I thought so.

00:20:47.514 --> 00:20:50.014
Welcome to Assimilation,
neighbor.

00:20:50.016 --> 00:20:51.215
(PEOPLE CHEERING)

00:20:51.217 --> 00:20:52.550
ANNOUNCER: <i>This program
brought to you</i>

00:20:52.552 --> 00:20:53.618
<i>by Neighborhood Peeps.</i>

00:20:53.620 --> 00:20:56.023
<i>Your neighbors are watching!</i>

00:20:56.922 --> 00:20:58.191
GLENN: And, we're out!

00:20:59.191 --> 00:21:00.625
Love it. Perfect.

00:21:00.627 --> 00:21:02.494
Let's set up
for the walk-through.

00:21:02.496 --> 00:21:03.828
Margaux,
did that feel good to you?

00:21:03.830 --> 00:21:04.928
No, Glenn.

00:21:04.930 --> 00:21:07.299
We need more balloons,
more confetti.

00:21:07.301 --> 00:21:09.367
- Roger that.
- What are we selling here?

00:21:09.369 --> 00:21:12.436
Big dreams. You know
how you get big dreams?

00:21:12.438 --> 00:21:13.804
- Uh...
- With big ratings.

00:21:13.806 --> 00:21:15.072
- Got it.
- Double the balloons.

00:21:15.074 --> 00:21:16.907
And I want
a blizzard of confetti.

00:21:16.909 --> 00:21:18.475
I want so much confetti
that we need

00:21:18.477 --> 00:21:20.611
snow patrols
to find lost children.

00:21:20.613 --> 00:21:22.914
I bet my home improvement
empire on this town.

00:21:22.916 --> 00:21:24.381
Every house must sell

00:21:24.383 --> 00:21:25.715
or we're out of business!

00:21:25.717 --> 00:21:27.918
- It's got to be perfect!
- PARKER: Mom!

00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:29.654
You're never
gonna believe this.

00:21:29.656 --> 00:21:30.754
What is it, Parker?

00:21:30.756 --> 00:21:33.558
I found a creepy mansion
up on the hill!

00:21:33.560 --> 00:21:34.992
I'm so glad you're exploring,
Parker,

00:21:34.994 --> 00:21:36.962
but I don't have time
to talk right now, sweetheart.

00:21:36.964 --> 00:21:38.596
Mama needs to help people.

00:21:38.598 --> 00:21:41.064
I need help.
Aren't I people?

00:21:41.066 --> 00:21:42.833
MARGAUX: (CHUCKLES)
Oh, you're cute.

00:21:42.835 --> 00:21:44.836
Don't you have Chipper 'N'
Cheer practice this afternoon?

00:21:44.838 --> 00:21:46.138
Run along, honey.

00:21:46.140 --> 00:21:47.938
Now, Glenn, what are
the numbers we're expecting?

00:21:47.940 --> 00:21:49.340
- Well, if you look here...
- Mom!

00:21:49.342 --> 00:21:50.641
(GLENN CONTINUES
TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

00:21:50.643 --> 00:21:51.644
Ugh!

00:21:53.012 --> 00:21:54.915
(KIDS CHATTERING AND LAUGHING)

00:21:58.851 --> 00:22:01.252
- (PUGSLEY STRAINING)
- (WOOD CREAKING)

00:22:01.254 --> 00:22:03.524
PUGSLEY: Left a bit. Up a bit.

00:22:03.957 --> 00:22:06.090
Now, down a bit.

00:22:06.092 --> 00:22:08.495
- (SNICKERS) Perfect.
- (LURCH GROANS)

00:22:09.329 --> 00:22:13.130
And three, two, one...

00:22:13.132 --> 00:22:14.601
- (AIR HORN BLARING)
- (GASPS)

00:22:16.937 --> 00:22:18.035
(GROANS)

00:22:18.037 --> 00:22:20.472
You made me miss!

00:22:20.474 --> 00:22:23.942
Do you know how long
it took for me to set this up?

00:22:23.944 --> 00:22:25.842
Look, Pugsley...

00:22:25.844 --> 00:22:29.847
Your Mazurka's coming up,
and, well, you're not ready.

00:22:29.849 --> 00:22:32.516
Even if I am the only one
who sees it.

00:22:32.518 --> 00:22:34.552
So, pay attention,

00:22:34.554 --> 00:22:36.021
and you might actually
get through this.

00:22:36.023 --> 00:22:37.024
PUGSLEY: Wait.

00:22:37.724 --> 00:22:40.226
You're going to help me?

00:22:40.893 --> 00:22:41.993
Why?

00:22:41.995 --> 00:22:44.628
Because you are my brother.

00:22:44.630 --> 00:22:49.032
And... (ECHOES) I love you.

00:22:49.034 --> 00:22:50.803
(FOREBODING MUSIC BUILDS UP)

00:22:54.040 --> 00:22:56.206
All right.
How are you gonna help me?

00:22:56.208 --> 00:22:58.209
You see that hole over there?

00:22:58.211 --> 00:22:59.679
Go stand beside it.

00:23:00.813 --> 00:23:02.546
Uh... That hole?

00:23:02.548 --> 00:23:03.982
That hole.

00:23:03.984 --> 00:23:05.884
PUGSLEY: Mmm...
I don't get it.

00:23:05.886 --> 00:23:07.254
(WIND BLOWING)

00:23:09.555 --> 00:23:10.890
PUGSLEY: Whoa.

00:23:12.159 --> 00:23:13.560
- (SHOVEL CLANGS)
- (BODY THUDS)

00:23:22.468 --> 00:23:24.702
Darling, not to criticize,
(GRUNTS)

00:23:24.704 --> 00:23:27.038
but is that really
as tight as you can make it?

00:23:27.040 --> 00:23:28.872
(SIGHS) I'm sorry, Gomez.

00:23:28.874 --> 00:23:31.908
I'm just a bit preoccupied
with the Mazurka preparations.

00:23:31.910 --> 00:23:34.512
- Oh, I am as well! (EXCLAIMS)
- (CLAMP CREAKING)

00:23:34.514 --> 00:23:36.981
I fear Pugsley
is overconfident

00:23:36.983 --> 00:23:39.016
and doesn't truly understand

00:23:39.018 --> 00:23:41.619
the importance
of this tradition.

00:23:41.621 --> 00:23:43.620
Good news, everybody.
Pugsley's gone.

00:23:43.622 --> 00:23:45.889
MORTICIA: Wednesday,
I know that tone of voice.

00:23:45.891 --> 00:23:48.091
Dig up your brother. At once.

00:23:48.093 --> 00:23:49.726
(SIGHS) You're weakening
the gene pool.

00:23:49.728 --> 00:23:51.094
MORTICIA: Hold on.

00:23:51.096 --> 00:23:52.263
What do you have there?

00:23:52.265 --> 00:23:55.466
I'm not sure.
I like it.

00:23:55.468 --> 00:23:59.803
It's so... What's the word?
The opposite of sad?

00:23:59.805 --> 00:24:01.607
Darling, bring that to me.

00:24:04.611 --> 00:24:07.978
Strange, there's usually
a murderous clown

00:24:07.980 --> 00:24:10.214
attached to the other
end of these.

00:24:10.216 --> 00:24:13.083
(GASPS) Wednesday, don't move!

00:24:13.085 --> 00:24:18.222
What, in the name of
all that is unholy, is that?

00:24:18.224 --> 00:24:21.391
(SMACKS LIPS)
It tastes like cotton candy.

00:24:21.393 --> 00:24:23.293
How do you know
what cotton candy tastes like?

00:24:23.295 --> 00:24:25.763
Tish, it was my youth.
I made mistakes.

00:24:25.765 --> 00:24:28.465
Wednesday, wherever did
this pink thing come from?

00:24:28.467 --> 00:24:29.833
WEDNESDAY: Outside.

00:24:29.835 --> 00:24:32.139
They're everywhere.

00:24:33.806 --> 00:24:35.141
(DOOR OPENS)

00:24:38.945 --> 00:24:42.346
FESTER: Strangest weather
system I've ever seen.

00:24:42.348 --> 00:24:44.284
(PUGSLEY SNARLING)

00:24:48.188 --> 00:24:51.356
What is that?
Where's it coming from?

00:24:51.358 --> 00:24:52.756
GOMEZ: Wait, wait, wait.

00:24:52.758 --> 00:24:55.292
The fog, it's lifting.

00:24:55.294 --> 00:24:57.028
Well, that would
only happen if...

00:24:57.030 --> 00:25:00.701
Someone drained the marsh.
But who?

00:25:03.336 --> 00:25:06.137
MORTICIA: A town.
This is not good.

00:25:06.139 --> 00:25:07.371
We must go down there

00:25:07.373 --> 00:25:09.273
and introduce ourselves
at once.

00:25:09.275 --> 00:25:13.045
This day is becoming
most wonderfully disruptive.

00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:16.349
(PLAYING LIVELY TUNE)

00:25:26.458 --> 00:25:28.792
GLENN: Let's keep going
with the run-through, okay?

00:25:28.794 --> 00:25:29.894
MARGAUX: Welcome back.

00:25:29.896 --> 00:25:31.696
I'm so delighted
to show you my house.

00:25:31.698 --> 00:25:34.732
You can own one just like it,
just less large.

00:25:34.734 --> 00:25:37.635
Blah, blah, blah.
Sconces, crown molding.

00:25:37.637 --> 00:25:40.871
Which leads us to what I call
the Salon de Grandé.

00:25:40.873 --> 00:25:43.774
Cross here, turn,
and then say something like,

00:25:43.776 --> 00:25:45.743
"Now, before I show you
this view,

00:25:45.745 --> 00:25:47.378
"go to an antique store,

00:25:47.380 --> 00:25:49.981
"buy a chair,
and reupholster it.

00:25:49.983 --> 00:25:51.919
"'Cause you're gonna
wanna sit down for this."

00:25:54.853 --> 00:25:56.454
What? What's the matter?

00:25:56.456 --> 00:25:58.222
For heaven's sake,
what's going on?

00:25:58.224 --> 00:26:00.994
Do I have something
in my teeth? What is it?

00:26:01.561 --> 00:26:03.563
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

00:26:04.263 --> 00:26:05.532
(SCREAMS)

00:26:07.167 --> 00:26:09.067
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

00:26:09.069 --> 00:26:10.368
(CAR HORN HONKS)

00:26:10.370 --> 00:26:11.569
MORTICIA:
Not a single gargoyle.

00:26:11.571 --> 00:26:13.772
GOMEZ: Maybe this isn't
such a bad thing.

00:26:13.774 --> 00:26:15.874
We have been
isolated here for a while.

00:26:15.876 --> 00:26:18.512
FESTER: I could really
see myself dying here.

00:26:20.714 --> 00:26:22.080
Play nice, Kitty.

00:26:22.082 --> 00:26:23.214
- (KITTY ROARS)
- (PEOPLE SCREAMING)

00:26:23.216 --> 00:26:25.183
Well, no one is running at us

00:26:25.185 --> 00:26:28.619
with torches and pitchforks,
so that's a plus.

00:26:28.621 --> 00:26:31.156
You know, darling,
I don't think we'll need

00:26:31.158 --> 00:26:32.924
to put the family
in the mausoleum.

00:26:32.926 --> 00:26:34.457
They can stay here!

00:26:34.459 --> 00:26:36.695
The family
would never be comfortable.

00:26:36.697 --> 00:26:37.794
It will be years

00:26:37.796 --> 00:26:39.798
- before rust and decay set in.
- (WOMAN GASPS)

00:26:39.800 --> 00:26:41.031
How you doing?

00:26:41.033 --> 00:26:43.303
It's all so... different.

00:26:44.771 --> 00:26:46.937
Pugsley, don't drink it all.

00:26:46.939 --> 00:26:49.573
This gentleman
wants some, too.

00:26:49.575 --> 00:26:51.408
- (WHIMPERS SOFTLY)
- GOMEZ: Sir, it's all right.

00:26:51.410 --> 00:26:53.311
- He's had all his shots!
- (MAN YELPS)

00:26:53.313 --> 00:26:54.811
What a nervous man.

00:26:54.813 --> 00:26:57.815
Come on, Tish, let's
explore the neighborhood.

00:26:57.817 --> 00:26:59.483
I'm gonna pop in here
for two minutes

00:26:59.485 --> 00:27:01.985
and I'll meet you in
the town square. Agreed?

00:27:01.987 --> 00:27:03.090
Very well, darling.

00:27:03.989 --> 00:27:06.224
- (DOOR BELL JINGLES)
- Good day, all.

00:27:06.226 --> 00:27:07.492
(PEOPLE GASPING)

00:27:07.494 --> 00:27:10.060
Don't let me interrupt
your cup of joe

00:27:10.062 --> 00:27:12.464
or whoever you have in there.

00:27:12.466 --> 00:27:16.934
So, what's dark and bitter
here other than yours truly?

00:27:16.936 --> 00:27:20.605
(NERVOUSLY) We have the
Madagascar Emerald Peaberry,

00:27:20.607 --> 00:27:22.106
in a summer patchouli roast.

00:27:22.108 --> 00:27:26.343
It has notes of oak,
cherry, and yoga.

00:27:26.345 --> 00:27:31.182
Hmm. You know, I'm looking
for something a bit stronger.

00:27:31.184 --> 00:27:32.853
Ah! Let me try that.

00:27:36.355 --> 00:27:37.487
(CRUNCHING)

00:27:37.489 --> 00:27:40.124
Mmm! Morticia, you have
to try these coffee grounds.

00:27:40.126 --> 00:27:41.658
They have a wonderful grit!

00:27:41.660 --> 00:27:44.028
Just a moment,
what am I hearing?

00:27:44.030 --> 00:27:45.429
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

00:27:45.431 --> 00:27:46.863
(SINGING) <i>This is where
we all belong, yeah</i>

00:27:46.865 --> 00:27:48.432
<i>Everybody come together</i>

00:27:48.434 --> 00:27:51.770
<i>Sing our song, sing our song</i>

00:27:51.772 --> 00:27:55.673
<i>Life is really perfect
We are one big family, yeah</i>

00:27:55.675 --> 00:27:57.340
<i>Everything is so much better</i>

00:27:57.342 --> 00:27:59.446
<i>When I'm like you
and you're like me</i>

00:28:00.447 --> 00:28:04.282
<i>What's so great
about being yourself</i>

00:28:04.284 --> 00:28:07.151
<i>When you can be
like everyone else?</i>

00:28:07.153 --> 00:28:11.488
Wow, that is
absolutely horrible!

00:28:11.490 --> 00:28:15.326
<i>It's easy to be happy
when you have no choice</i>

00:28:15.328 --> 00:28:18.696
<i>Yes, it's easy to be happy
when you have no choice</i>

00:28:18.698 --> 00:28:20.798
Hold on,
unless I miss my guess here,

00:28:20.800 --> 00:28:23.701
I believe that is
supposed to be music.

00:28:23.703 --> 00:28:24.869
They're greeting us with

00:28:24.871 --> 00:28:26.303
one of their
traditional songs.

00:28:26.305 --> 00:28:27.870
Well, then,
we ought to do the same.

00:28:27.872 --> 00:28:30.140
Wonderful idea, Fester.

00:28:30.142 --> 00:28:32.243
<i>Isn't it great
when we are all together?</i>

00:28:32.245 --> 00:28:36.180
<i>Say it again
until you believe it</i>

00:28:36.182 --> 00:28:38.215
- <i>I believe it</i>
- (ALL GRUNTING)

00:28:38.217 --> 00:28:39.652
<i>We believe it</i>

00:28:40.352 --> 00:28:41.418
(BLOWS PIPE)

00:28:41.420 --> 00:28:43.821
- (MUSIC STOPS)
- (PEOPLE EXCLAIM)

00:28:43.823 --> 00:28:45.555
(SINGING)
<i>I'd tip my hat to you</i>

00:28:45.557 --> 00:28:47.891
<i>I'd do just that</i>
(SCATTING)

00:28:47.893 --> 00:28:50.395
<i>Take it right off for you,
But I haven't got a hat</i>

00:28:50.397 --> 00:28:51.929
(SCATTING)

00:28:51.931 --> 00:28:54.631
<i>I'm just a college boy,
even at that</i>

00:28:54.633 --> 00:28:55.766
(SCATTING)

00:28:55.768 --> 00:28:58.502
<i>I'd tip my hat to you
But I haven't got a hat</i>

00:28:58.504 --> 00:29:00.003
- (SCATTING)
- (BATS SCREECHING)

00:29:00.005 --> 00:29:01.440
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

00:29:05.444 --> 00:29:07.276
What? What'd I do?

00:29:07.278 --> 00:29:08.579
How rude.

00:29:08.581 --> 00:29:10.880
Gomez, we should return home.

00:29:10.882 --> 00:29:13.951
Morticia,
this is not the old country.

00:29:13.953 --> 00:29:16.454
True, these people
are a little different.

00:29:16.456 --> 00:29:18.589
But deep down,
we're all the same.

00:29:18.591 --> 00:29:19.756
- (MAN SCREAMING)
- (KITTY ROARS)

00:29:19.758 --> 00:29:22.126
We have to give them a chance.
Get to know them.

00:29:22.128 --> 00:29:23.695
We have to win them over.

00:29:23.697 --> 00:29:25.398
- "Win them over"?
- (BRAKES SQUEAL)

00:29:26.131 --> 00:29:28.067
Well, good morning, neighbor!

00:29:28.567 --> 00:29:30.067
Margaux Needler.

00:29:30.069 --> 00:29:33.404
Gomez Addams.
At your service.

00:29:33.406 --> 00:29:34.772
My wife, Morticia.

00:29:34.774 --> 00:29:35.906
Charmed.

00:29:35.908 --> 00:29:39.109
GOMEZ: Our children,
Wednesday, Pugsley.

00:29:39.111 --> 00:29:40.744
And my brother, Fester.

00:29:40.746 --> 00:29:41.878
- Hey, neighbor!
- (MARGAUX GASPS)

00:29:41.880 --> 00:29:44.080
You know, we can see
right into your windows?

00:29:44.082 --> 00:29:47.417
(NERVOUSLY)
Nice to, uh, meet you.

00:29:47.419 --> 00:29:50.119
As your neighbor,
I'd like to offer you

00:29:50.121 --> 00:29:52.223
the opportunity of a lifetime.

00:29:52.225 --> 00:29:54.492
How'd you like
a free home makeover

00:29:54.494 --> 00:29:57.160
from a world-renowned
interior designer?

00:29:57.162 --> 00:29:58.494
It will be a challenge,

00:29:58.496 --> 00:30:00.965
but I can beautify that
old house of yours so fast,

00:30:00.967 --> 00:30:02.199
it'll make your head spin.

00:30:02.201 --> 00:30:03.301
I don't wanna brag,

00:30:03.303 --> 00:30:04.935
but mine already does that.
Look.

00:30:04.937 --> 00:30:07.471
- (NECK CRACKING)
- (CHUCKLES)

00:30:07.473 --> 00:30:10.640
I should like to see what this
plastic woman has to offer.

00:30:10.642 --> 00:30:13.644
Yes, well... When is
a good time to stop by?

00:30:13.646 --> 00:30:16.446
- Actually, Ms. Needler...
- (CLEARS THROAT)

00:30:16.448 --> 00:30:18.448
Darling...

00:30:18.450 --> 00:30:21.285
Stop by anytime you'd like.

00:30:21.287 --> 00:30:23.486
Oh, wonderful!
Then it's settled.

00:30:23.488 --> 00:30:25.822
I'll see you at your house,
first thing tomorrow.

00:30:25.824 --> 00:30:29.426
You're welcome in advance! Ta!

00:30:29.428 --> 00:30:31.361
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (GLENN GASPS)

00:30:31.363 --> 00:30:33.496
That woman seems deranged.

00:30:33.498 --> 00:30:35.631
Her face reminds me
of a death mask.

00:30:35.633 --> 00:30:38.002
"Deranged"? "Death mask"?

00:30:38.004 --> 00:30:40.204
You tell me
she's got halitosis,

00:30:40.206 --> 00:30:41.942
and I'm hearing wedding bells!

00:30:43.442 --> 00:30:45.044
(RAVEN CROWING)

00:30:46.512 --> 00:30:48.815
(PLAYS CEREMONIAL MUSIC)

00:30:54.152 --> 00:30:59.223
GOMEZ: Pugsley, this is
the Addams family saber.

00:30:59.225 --> 00:31:02.025
300 years of Addams

00:31:02.027 --> 00:31:05.130
have danced the Mazurka
with this blade.

00:31:05.797 --> 00:31:06.898
Uh-uh.

00:31:06.900 --> 00:31:09.500
Only when
you've shown me you're ready.

00:31:09.502 --> 00:31:15.039
Your father was the greatest
swordsman in Addams history.

00:31:15.041 --> 00:31:18.309
His Mazurka
was the stuff of legends.

00:31:18.311 --> 00:31:21.078
So no pressure!

00:31:21.080 --> 00:31:24.580
It's all right here,
in the Mazurka handbook.

00:31:24.582 --> 00:31:28.051
Every Addams performs
this rite of passage

00:31:28.053 --> 00:31:31.421
to show that you're prepared
to defend your family.

00:31:31.423 --> 00:31:34.759
It sounds easy,
but believe me, it's insane!

00:31:34.761 --> 00:31:35.926
Fester, hand him

00:31:35.928 --> 00:31:37.863
the goo-goo-ga-ga
baby training sword.

00:31:38.663 --> 00:31:40.531
- (SWORD SQUEAKS)
- Pop?

00:31:40.533 --> 00:31:43.301
Has anyone
ever failed the Mazurka?

00:31:43.303 --> 00:31:45.235
Once.
Your third cousin, Xander.

00:31:45.237 --> 00:31:46.436
Never heard of him.

00:31:46.438 --> 00:31:47.871
Exactly.

00:31:47.873 --> 00:31:48.939
Music!

00:31:48.941 --> 00:31:50.374
(GONG CRASHES)

00:31:50.376 --> 00:31:51.841
There's someone at the door.

00:31:51.843 --> 00:31:55.446
Hi, guys. I'm going up
to this creepy mansion.

00:31:55.448 --> 00:31:58.418
If you don't hear from me
in 30 minutes, send backup.

00:31:59.218 --> 00:32:00.452
(DOOR CREAKS)

00:32:04.823 --> 00:32:09.062
(SLURRING) You rang?

00:32:14.065 --> 00:32:15.299
Yeah, no.

00:32:15.301 --> 00:32:17.201
Life's too short. See ya!

00:32:17.203 --> 00:32:18.972
(GROWLING SOFTLY)

00:32:23.743 --> 00:32:25.074
MARGAUX: Oh!

00:32:25.076 --> 00:32:27.578
GOMEZ: (CHUCKLES)
Good morning, Kitty.

00:32:27.580 --> 00:32:29.249
Greetings, Ms. Needler.

00:32:30.949 --> 00:32:32.449
(DOOR SLAMS)

00:32:32.451 --> 00:32:34.217
Wow. (CLEARS THROAT)

00:32:34.219 --> 00:32:37.620
Good morning!
I hope this isn't a bad time.

00:32:37.622 --> 00:32:39.622
The worst. Do come in.

00:32:39.624 --> 00:32:40.724
Glenn?

00:32:40.726 --> 00:32:42.092
- (ROARS)
- (GLENN SHRIEKS)

00:32:42.094 --> 00:32:44.261
- (PANTING)
- (MARGAUX CLEARS THROAT)

00:32:44.263 --> 00:32:46.129
Welcome to the neighborhood.

00:32:46.131 --> 00:32:47.499
Thank you.

00:32:49.368 --> 00:32:51.502
Oh, my! Hmm.

00:32:51.504 --> 00:32:53.670
Are you ready
for your Margaux makeover?

00:32:53.672 --> 00:32:54.804
Quite.

00:32:54.806 --> 00:32:58.274
Pugsley's been climbing
the walls in anticipation.

00:32:58.276 --> 00:32:59.912
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

00:33:02.415 --> 00:33:04.017
MARGAUX: Well, well, well!

00:33:05.150 --> 00:33:06.817
Let's take a look around,
shall we?

00:33:06.819 --> 00:33:09.122
And before you say anything,
you're welcome.

00:33:10.156 --> 00:33:14.091
Now, if we're trying for
a more contemporary look,

00:33:14.093 --> 00:33:16.694
well, these sconces
have to go.

00:33:16.696 --> 00:33:17.831
(MITCH YELPS)

00:33:19.165 --> 00:33:21.764
The sconces were a gift
from dead relatives.

00:33:21.766 --> 00:33:22.966
If we get rid of them,

00:33:22.968 --> 00:33:25.938
they'll be terribly hurt
the next time they visit.

00:33:27.805 --> 00:33:30.340
And this is our whine cellar.

00:33:30.342 --> 00:33:33.343
We have a lovely
collection of whines.

00:33:33.345 --> 00:33:34.878
WHINER 1: <i>Are we there yet?</i>
WHINER 2: <i>I want ice cream!</i>

00:33:34.880 --> 00:33:36.680
WHINER 3: <i>What do you mean
you're out of avocado toast?</i>

00:33:36.682 --> 00:33:39.215
WHINER 4: <i>This barrel
makes me look fat.</i>

00:33:39.217 --> 00:33:41.217
And here's our bottomless pit.

00:33:41.219 --> 00:33:42.953
(HOLLOW RUMBLING)

00:33:42.955 --> 00:33:45.188
DENISE: Uh...
How do we get across?

00:33:45.190 --> 00:33:46.358
One moment.

00:33:49.061 --> 00:33:50.530
(CHITTERING)

00:33:59.671 --> 00:34:02.141
We call this surfing the web.

00:34:03.642 --> 00:34:04.710
(DENISE GULPS)

00:34:05.977 --> 00:34:07.580
MARGAUX: Well!
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

00:34:08.247 --> 00:34:09.378
DENISE: I'm scared.

00:34:09.380 --> 00:34:10.880
- I'm so scared.
- (GLENN WHIMPERING)

00:34:10.882 --> 00:34:13.818
- Oh, my gosh.
- (DENISE PRAYING IN SPANISH)

00:34:13.820 --> 00:34:15.218
DENISE: I'm scared
to close my eyes.

00:34:15.220 --> 00:34:16.320
I'm scared to open them.

00:34:16.322 --> 00:34:17.420
(SCREAMING)

00:34:17.422 --> 00:34:18.988
- (WHIMPERING)
- (DENISE YELPS)

00:34:18.990 --> 00:34:20.357
(SOBS)

00:34:20.359 --> 00:34:21.861
(ROPE CREAKING)

00:34:32.438 --> 00:34:33.740
(SIGHS)

00:34:35.073 --> 00:34:36.840
(GASPS)

00:34:36.842 --> 00:34:40.544
How do all those people fit
in that little contraption?

00:34:40.546 --> 00:34:41.678
(PARKER YELPS)

00:34:41.680 --> 00:34:44.782
My vanity mirror only
imprisons 14 souls at a time.

00:34:44.784 --> 00:34:46.117
(PARKER WHIMPERS)

00:34:46.119 --> 00:34:47.454
Uh, you don't
have a cell phone?

00:34:48.188 --> 00:34:49.686
That's weird.

00:34:49.688 --> 00:34:52.122
I may not have a cell phone...

00:34:52.124 --> 00:34:54.124
Well, you don't
have a crossbow,

00:34:54.126 --> 00:34:55.928
and I thought
everybody had one of those.

00:34:58.131 --> 00:34:59.199
Mmm.

00:34:59.898 --> 00:35:01.231
My name is Wednesday.

00:35:01.233 --> 00:35:02.332
Okay.

00:35:02.334 --> 00:35:06.236
Uh, I'm Parker.
How long have you lived here?

00:35:06.238 --> 00:35:10.774
My whole life.
Which seems endless.

00:35:10.776 --> 00:35:12.608
PARKER: I've never
seen you at school.

00:35:12.610 --> 00:35:13.945
I'm cage-schooled.

00:35:13.947 --> 00:35:15.945
- Excuse me?
- It's terribly dull,

00:35:15.947 --> 00:35:17.382
but my mother insists.

00:35:19.985 --> 00:35:21.318
(SKIN SQUEAKS)

00:35:21.320 --> 00:35:23.754
I'm actually
cutting cage right now.

00:35:23.756 --> 00:35:25.391
(PUGSLEY SNARLING)

00:35:26.657 --> 00:35:27.925
Uh, okay.

00:35:27.927 --> 00:35:29.926
So, what happens
at your school?

00:35:29.928 --> 00:35:33.296
Uh, not much, just friends
turning on each other.

00:35:33.298 --> 00:35:35.999
Girls making other girls
feel bad about themselves.

00:35:36.001 --> 00:35:37.300
Typical junior high stuff.

00:35:37.302 --> 00:35:38.303
WEDNESDAY: Intriguing.

00:35:41.673 --> 00:35:44.274
Can anyone go to your school?

00:35:44.276 --> 00:35:46.776
I guess so. But who'd want to?

00:35:46.778 --> 00:35:47.780
FESTER: Wednesday!

00:35:48.581 --> 00:35:49.983
Great shot!

00:35:52.351 --> 00:35:53.452
(CAMERA CLICKS)

00:35:54.153 --> 00:35:55.988
(GIBBERISH CHANTING)

00:36:01.626 --> 00:36:02.693
(MARGAUX SCREAMS)

00:36:02.695 --> 00:36:03.994
(SCREECHING)

00:36:03.996 --> 00:36:05.398
(MARGAUX PANTING)

00:36:06.865 --> 00:36:10.466
Mr. and Mrs. Addams,
there's really not much to do

00:36:10.468 --> 00:36:12.269
to make this place perfect.

00:36:12.271 --> 00:36:15.604
All we have to do
is pull down the side walls,

00:36:15.606 --> 00:36:18.508
and then also break down
the other two walls.

00:36:18.510 --> 00:36:19.676
(MOANS)

00:36:19.678 --> 00:36:23.847
Open up the ceiling
by breaking it irreversibly.

00:36:23.849 --> 00:36:26.649
Just get this nasty little
floor out of the way,

00:36:26.651 --> 00:36:30.519
and there you go. With just
those little touches...

00:36:30.521 --> 00:36:32.789
Stop! Right there!

00:36:32.791 --> 00:36:34.658
Don't touch another thing!

00:36:34.660 --> 00:36:38.762
It's perfect.
Ms. Needler, you have a gift.

00:36:38.764 --> 00:36:41.631
The good news is I can have
a makeover crew up here

00:36:41.633 --> 00:36:43.800
and swinging hammers
first thing in the morning.

00:36:43.802 --> 00:36:44.803
What do you say?

00:36:45.671 --> 00:36:47.336
We thought you were finished.

00:36:47.338 --> 00:36:49.372
Our whole family
is coming in two weeks.

00:36:49.374 --> 00:36:50.740
(HIGH-PITCHED) Our finale!

00:36:50.742 --> 00:36:53.176
(NORMAL TONE)
Our finale is in two weeks.

00:36:53.178 --> 00:36:54.745
Thank you, Glenn.

00:36:54.747 --> 00:36:56.680
It's a gracious offer,
Ms. Needler,

00:36:56.682 --> 00:36:58.082
but you really
have done enough.

00:36:58.084 --> 00:37:01.187
It's our son's Mazurka.
You understand.

00:37:01.553 --> 00:37:02.722
Thank you.

00:37:05.291 --> 00:37:06.726
(LURCH MOANS)

00:37:07.526 --> 00:37:08.992
Uh, we're missing Mitch.

00:37:08.994 --> 00:37:09.996
Where's Mitch?

00:37:10.762 --> 00:37:14.700
SPIRIT OF THE HOUSE: <i>Get out!</i>

00:37:15.767 --> 00:37:17.734
- Mitch who?
- (BOTH SCREAMING)

00:37:17.736 --> 00:37:19.271
(GLENN WAILING)

00:37:20.039 --> 00:37:22.071
Gomez, I'll be blunt.

00:37:22.073 --> 00:37:25.242
I have 50 houses
to sell down there,

00:37:25.244 --> 00:37:30.713
and their view of your
property is, well, off-brand.

00:37:30.715 --> 00:37:33.917
- Fifty houses?
- Yes.

00:37:33.919 --> 00:37:35.619
You know,
ever since my family

00:37:35.621 --> 00:37:37.653
was chased out
from the old country,

00:37:37.655 --> 00:37:41.024
my one dream has been

00:37:40.059 --> 00:37:42.725
to find a place
we could call home.

00:37:42.727 --> 00:37:45.595
Once they see Assimilation,

00:37:45.597 --> 00:37:48.231
(GASPS) I think they'll
want to stay for good.

00:37:48.233 --> 00:37:49.533
(MARGAUX EXCLAIMS)

00:37:49.535 --> 00:37:53.403
Thank you so much
for coming by, Membrane.

00:37:53.405 --> 00:37:54.738
It's Margaux!

00:37:54.740 --> 00:37:57.106
Well then, run, Margaux!

00:37:57.108 --> 00:37:59.778
- (GATE CREAKS)
- Run, run, run!

00:38:04.717 --> 00:38:05.983
(GATE BELCHES)

00:38:05.985 --> 00:38:08.718
That Wednesday girl
is a freak.

00:38:08.720 --> 00:38:12.088
We're about to be invaded
by a whole army of freaks.

00:38:12.090 --> 00:38:13.990
It's tragic when people
can't accept

00:38:13.992 --> 00:38:16.359
the help they so badly need.

00:38:16.361 --> 00:38:17.861
And when that happens,

00:38:17.863 --> 00:38:21.234
well, another kind of
intervention is called for.

00:38:22.934 --> 00:38:24.667
MORTICIA: I agree, Gomez.

00:38:24.669 --> 00:38:27.504
The whole family moving here
would be a dream come true.

00:38:27.506 --> 00:38:29.740
But I don't trust
that Margaux woman.

00:38:29.742 --> 00:38:32.778
She's an eccentric, darling,
give her a chance.

00:38:33.579 --> 00:38:36.613
"Rasp-berry preserves."

00:38:36.615 --> 00:38:37.814
(SNIFFS) Mmm.

00:38:37.816 --> 00:38:40.816
Must be some kind
of scented embalming fluid.

00:38:40.818 --> 00:38:42.785
(GASPS)

00:38:42.787 --> 00:38:45.256
Wednesday,
practice your lurking

00:38:45.258 --> 00:38:47.258
on someone
other than your father.

00:38:47.260 --> 00:38:48.461
He's too easy.

00:38:50.595 --> 00:38:51.829
Much better.

00:38:51.831 --> 00:38:54.597
Mother, Father,
I'd like to speak with you.

00:38:54.599 --> 00:38:57.200
What's on your mind,
my little nightcrawler?

00:38:57.202 --> 00:38:58.936
I spoke with Parker
this afternoon.

00:38:58.938 --> 00:39:01.537
She's the daughter
of that talking mannequin

00:39:01.539 --> 00:39:02.872
who came by.

00:39:02.874 --> 00:39:04.707
She told me about
a communal school

00:39:04.709 --> 00:39:06.376
all the neighborhood children
attend.

00:39:06.378 --> 00:39:08.979
It's called "junior high."

00:39:08.981 --> 00:39:11.682
"Junior high"...

00:39:11.684 --> 00:39:14.184
Yes, yes,
I have read about those

00:39:14.186 --> 00:39:16.620
in my abnormal
psychology journals.

00:39:16.622 --> 00:39:18.521
Anyone of age can enroll.

00:39:18.523 --> 00:39:22.626
I think it would be
good for me.

00:39:22.628 --> 00:39:24.995
Well, I think
it's a capital idea.

00:39:24.997 --> 00:39:26.296
What of your studies here?

00:39:26.298 --> 00:39:29.131
Your taxidermy
is coming along so well.

00:39:29.133 --> 00:39:31.535
Mother,
would you really deprive me

00:39:31.537 --> 00:39:34.838
of the opportunity to torment
children my own age?

00:39:34.840 --> 00:39:37.307
Ah, she makes a point.

00:39:37.309 --> 00:39:39.341
What's more,
with Wednesday in school,

00:39:39.343 --> 00:39:42.014
we'd get to know
the people here even better.

00:39:42.414 --> 00:39:44.082
Well, Mother?

00:39:46.586 --> 00:39:48.321
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

00:39:53.925 --> 00:39:55.527
(KIDS EXCLAIMING)

00:39:58.097 --> 00:40:00.332
Have a good day
at school, dear.

00:40:02.101 --> 00:40:03.403
Do your worst!

00:40:05.037 --> 00:40:06.572
(STUDENTS CHATTERING)

00:40:09.207 --> 00:40:13.412
Ah. Now I understand.
This is a children's prison.

00:40:16.215 --> 00:40:17.883
TWINS: Who's that?

00:40:18.517 --> 00:40:20.052
PARKER: Great.

00:40:21.352 --> 00:40:22.454
This is Wednesday.

00:40:22.787 --> 00:40:24.921
Hello.

00:40:24.923 --> 00:40:26.624
- (TWINS GASP)
- BETHANY: Hey, Parker.

00:40:26.626 --> 00:40:28.024
(PARKER GASPS)

00:40:28.026 --> 00:40:30.129
I got something for ya.

00:40:30.595 --> 00:40:31.597
(CHUCKLES)

00:40:32.064 --> 00:40:33.896
A moldy sandwich?

00:40:33.898 --> 00:40:35.731
You're slipping, Bethany.

00:40:35.733 --> 00:40:37.566
You know what?
You're right.

00:40:37.568 --> 00:40:40.305
- (BOY GRUNTING)
- Let's kick it up a notch.

00:40:40.805 --> 00:40:42.608
(GIRLS GASP, GIGGLE)

00:40:45.244 --> 00:40:46.912
(BETHANY LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)

00:40:48.113 --> 00:40:50.381
You have no sense of humor!

00:40:50.383 --> 00:40:51.582
(GIRLS GIGGLE)

00:40:51.584 --> 00:40:53.649
GIRL: Did you see her face?
BETHANY: I know.

00:40:53.651 --> 00:40:54.653
Bethany, is it?

00:40:55.921 --> 00:41:00.256
Don't cut your eyes on my crew
unless you're ready to dance.

00:41:00.258 --> 00:41:04.162
What did you say,
little ghoul?

00:41:04.963 --> 00:41:07.396
I don't think you understand.

00:41:07.398 --> 00:41:10.600
I'm not locked up in here
with you, Bethany.

00:41:10.602 --> 00:41:14.803
You're locked up in here
with me.

00:41:14.805 --> 00:41:16.008
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

00:41:17.108 --> 00:41:18.276
(SCOFFS)

00:41:18.642 --> 00:41:19.811
Whatever.

00:41:22.079 --> 00:41:23.613
LAYLA: What did you do?

00:41:23.615 --> 00:41:24.981
You shouldn't have said that.

00:41:24.983 --> 00:41:28.318
There's nothing you can do.
Bethany's way too popular.

00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:30.086
Popularity is fleeting.

00:41:30.088 --> 00:41:31.821
I prefer to set my sights

00:41:31.823 --> 00:41:34.291
on something
a little more challenging.

00:41:34.293 --> 00:41:35.959
ALL: Like what?

00:41:35.961 --> 00:41:38.264
- The establishment.
- (GIRLS GASP)

00:41:41.032 --> 00:41:42.968
(MARGAUX SCATTING)

00:41:54.345 --> 00:41:58.615
Let's see.
Who shall I be today?

00:41:58.617 --> 00:41:59.849
How about...

00:41:59.851 --> 00:42:02.486
Ah, Shelly Longbottom,
on Sugar Ridge Lane.

00:42:02.488 --> 00:42:05.457
From Shelly Longbottom
to everyone,

00:42:06.124 --> 00:42:08.291
"Did you hear

00:42:08.293 --> 00:42:11.695
"about those Addams people?"
Question mark.

00:42:11.697 --> 00:42:15.401
"Someone told me
they're wanted in 30 states."

00:42:16.968 --> 00:42:18.535
(CELL PHONES CHIMING)

00:42:18.537 --> 00:42:21.338
You know they're raising
a garden of man-eating plants?

00:42:21.340 --> 00:42:22.838
And feeding them our pets!

00:42:22.840 --> 00:42:24.874
Has anyone seen
my Shih Tzu Fee-fee?

00:42:24.876 --> 00:42:27.042
They're gonna turn us
all into zombies.

00:42:27.044 --> 00:42:28.678
Where are they from anyways?

00:42:28.680 --> 00:42:29.812
It doesn't matter!

00:42:29.814 --> 00:42:31.481
It's obvious
they don't belong here.

00:42:31.483 --> 00:42:34.517
Honey! Oh, those awful people
up on the hill.

00:42:34.519 --> 00:42:36.553
They're not even
on Neighborhood Peeps!

00:42:36.555 --> 00:42:38.088
Well, that's suspicious.

00:42:38.090 --> 00:42:39.988
MAN 1: <i>If other people
are scared, then I'm scared.</i>

00:42:39.990 --> 00:42:41.323
MAN 2: <i>I believe
everything I read.</i>

00:42:41.325 --> 00:42:42.992
WOMAN: <i>If someone posted it,</i>

00:42:42.994 --> 00:42:44.361
<i>it must be true.</i>

00:42:44.363 --> 00:42:45.595
MAN 3: <i>You invite
one family in,</i>

00:42:45.597 --> 00:42:46.696
<i>then all the families come in.</i>

00:42:46.698 --> 00:42:47.865
WOMAN 2: <i>Do you think
we should investigate?</i>

00:42:47.867 --> 00:42:48.932
<i>I'm turning grey.</i>

00:42:48.934 --> 00:42:50.566
MAN 4: <i>I'm worried
for the children!</i>

00:42:50.568 --> 00:42:52.237
MAN 2: <i>We need
to talk to Margaux!</i>

00:42:53.405 --> 00:42:54.673
(STUDENTS CHATTERING)

00:42:55.372 --> 00:42:57.407
Open your books. Page 43.

00:42:57.409 --> 00:42:59.274
Follow the instructions.

00:42:59.276 --> 00:43:01.410
- (SCOFFS) Yuck.
- Oh.

00:43:01.412 --> 00:43:03.546
I've done this
thousands of times.

00:43:03.548 --> 00:43:05.117
(STUDENTS CHATTERING)

00:43:06.251 --> 00:43:07.885
- (METAL CLANKING)
- (DRILL WHIRRING)

00:43:07.887 --> 00:43:08.888
GIRL: Huh?

00:43:09.354 --> 00:43:10.454
(GASPS)

00:43:10.456 --> 00:43:12.724
- (CRANKING, DRILLING)
- (STUDENTS GASP AND EXCLAIM)

00:43:14.293 --> 00:43:16.061
(STUDENTS MURMURING)

00:43:19.432 --> 00:43:20.967
Flip the switch!

00:43:22.834 --> 00:43:24.603
(STUDENTS EXCLAIMING)

00:43:28.139 --> 00:43:29.140
(ALL GASPING)

00:43:39.617 --> 00:43:43.288
Give my creature life!

00:43:47.159 --> 00:43:48.593
(STUDENTS WHIMPERING)

00:43:49.628 --> 00:43:53.064
Live!
Live, I tell you, live!

00:43:53.599 --> 00:43:55.167
(STUDENTS SCREAMING)

00:43:57.568 --> 00:43:58.670
(SHRIEKS)

00:44:07.012 --> 00:44:08.079
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

00:44:09.347 --> 00:44:11.314
- (STUDENTS WHIMPERING)
- (FROG CROAKING)

00:44:11.316 --> 00:44:14.352
It's alive! It's alive!

00:44:15.153 --> 00:44:16.621
(ALL GASPING)

00:44:24.829 --> 00:44:26.262
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

00:44:26.264 --> 00:44:27.530
(CROAKS)

00:44:27.532 --> 00:44:28.631
(GASPS)

00:44:28.633 --> 00:44:30.769
- (FROGS CROAKING)
- (STUDENTS SCREAMING)

00:44:32.436 --> 00:44:34.970
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Get them off me!

00:44:34.972 --> 00:44:36.641
(ALL SCREAMING)

00:44:41.213 --> 00:44:42.648
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

00:44:43.481 --> 00:44:45.682
Zombie frogs!

00:44:45.684 --> 00:44:47.620
Bethany's changed her look.

00:44:48.019 --> 00:44:49.184
It suits her.

00:44:49.186 --> 00:44:51.720
Awesome. Totally awesome.

00:44:51.722 --> 00:44:53.122
It is an honor...

00:44:53.124 --> 00:44:54.291
...and a privilege...

00:44:54.293 --> 00:44:55.459
BOTH: ...to watch you work.

00:44:55.461 --> 00:44:58.062
Hey. Do you wanna
go to the mall?

00:44:58.064 --> 00:45:01.898
Why not? I haven't seen
a good mauling in ages.

00:45:01.900 --> 00:45:03.535
(PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ TUNE)

00:45:23.153 --> 00:45:25.921
It's late. I'm worried.

00:45:25.923 --> 00:45:28.224
GOMEZ: Darling,
Wednesday will be fine.

00:45:28.226 --> 00:45:29.725
She can take care of herself.

00:45:29.727 --> 00:45:32.028
It's not Wednesday
I'm worried about.

00:45:32.030 --> 00:45:35.231
It's the rest of them. We may
need to provide an alibi.

00:45:35.233 --> 00:45:37.700
My love, it's game night.

00:45:37.702 --> 00:45:38.901
Wednesday will be home soon,

00:45:38.903 --> 00:45:41.039
so why don't you
come and join us?

00:45:41.773 --> 00:45:44.874
Oh, very well. F-6.

00:45:44.876 --> 00:45:47.242
Pugsley,
you heard your mother.

00:45:47.244 --> 00:45:49.247
Blow F-6!

00:45:51.082 --> 00:45:52.515
PUGSLEY: Fire in the hole!

00:45:52.517 --> 00:45:54.517
FESTER: I'm king of the world!

00:45:54.519 --> 00:45:57.720
(SINGING)
<i>Near, far, wherever...</i>

00:45:57.722 --> 00:45:59.189
- (RUBBER DUCK SQUEAKS)
- (RAPID BEEPS)

00:45:59.191 --> 00:46:00.426
(EXPLOSION)

00:46:02.026 --> 00:46:03.262
(ROOF CRUMBLING)

00:46:05.229 --> 00:46:06.729
(PANTS EXCITEDLY) Yes!

00:46:06.731 --> 00:46:08.432
You sunk my battleship.

00:46:08.434 --> 00:46:10.736
Ha-ha! Well done, Pugsley!

00:46:12.470 --> 00:46:13.572
(CLINKING)

00:46:19.644 --> 00:46:21.477
Hello, my uglies!

00:46:21.479 --> 00:46:25.148
Mother! I thought
I felt my skin crawling!

00:46:25.150 --> 00:46:26.916
(BOTH LAUGHING)

00:46:26.918 --> 00:46:28.885
Grandma, what a surprise.

00:46:28.887 --> 00:46:30.486
I thought you were in Prague.

00:46:30.488 --> 00:46:31.921
I was!

00:46:31.923 --> 00:46:34.423
They caught me smuggling
crocodiles out of the zoo.

00:46:34.425 --> 00:46:36.093
But I escaped
and talked my way

00:46:36.095 --> 00:46:37.894
onto a Somali pirate ship.

00:46:37.896 --> 00:46:39.495
We got into
a heated poker game

00:46:39.497 --> 00:46:41.832
and I cleaned them out.
(CHUCKLES)

00:46:41.834 --> 00:46:43.666
- Cheating or robbery?
- GRANDMA: Both!

00:46:43.668 --> 00:46:45.468
Always remember, Pugsley,

00:46:45.470 --> 00:46:48.504
it ain't cheating
if no one catches you.

00:46:48.506 --> 00:46:50.941
(SNIFFS) I haven't bathed
in two weeks. Ugh.

00:46:50.943 --> 00:46:52.309
Or is it months?

00:46:52.311 --> 00:46:54.343
Ha! That reminds me.

00:46:54.345 --> 00:46:56.280
Guess what I've got, Pugsley?

00:46:56.282 --> 00:46:58.682
- Candy!
- Oh, yes!

00:46:58.684 --> 00:47:00.751
MORTICIA: But the Mazurka
isn't for a week.

00:47:00.753 --> 00:47:02.417
Why are you here so early?

00:47:02.419 --> 00:47:05.122
Gomez said you needed
a little help with the party.

00:47:05.124 --> 00:47:08.191
And I said, I got my son ready
for his Mazurka,

00:47:08.193 --> 00:47:11.794
so of course, I'm going to do
the same for my grandson.

00:47:11.796 --> 00:47:13.129
I love him!

00:47:13.131 --> 00:47:15.131
It's true! I sent for her!

00:47:15.133 --> 00:47:16.899
I can't believe you bothered

00:47:16.901 --> 00:47:18.503
your mother with that,
darling.

00:47:19.003 --> 00:47:20.169
Neither can I?

00:47:20.171 --> 00:47:21.870
He said you were
in over your head.

00:47:21.872 --> 00:47:23.039
Thank you, Mother!

00:47:23.041 --> 00:47:25.374
Said you were more tense
than he's ever seen you.

00:47:25.376 --> 00:47:27.776
- I didn't say that exactly.
- GRANDMA: Yes, you did.

00:47:27.778 --> 00:47:29.546
You said that exactly.

00:47:29.548 --> 00:47:30.680
Said he was worried

00:47:30.682 --> 00:47:33.149
you'd have a massive facial
expression and... (GROANS)

00:47:33.151 --> 00:47:35.050
You know, I'm starving!
Let's eat!

00:47:35.052 --> 00:47:37.854
Not until Wednesday gets home.

00:47:37.856 --> 00:47:40.356
Where is that
granddaughter of mine?

00:47:40.358 --> 00:47:42.160
I got something for her!

00:47:42.626 --> 00:47:43.994
(LOUD CLANG)

00:47:43.996 --> 00:47:46.562
Ah, there's my
little storm cloud!

00:47:46.564 --> 00:47:49.064
Wednesday,
where have you been?

00:47:49.066 --> 00:47:50.367
WEDNESDAY: Elsewhere.

00:47:50.369 --> 00:47:52.004
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

00:47:53.204 --> 00:47:54.570
(MORTICIA GASPS)

00:47:54.572 --> 00:47:57.041
(BAT SQUEAKING, SLURPING)

00:48:00.512 --> 00:48:02.211
What are you wearing?

00:48:02.213 --> 00:48:04.747
Parker calls it
a pop of color.

00:48:04.749 --> 00:48:06.349
While I certainly
appreciate a horse

00:48:06.351 --> 00:48:07.517
with a spear
through its head,

00:48:07.519 --> 00:48:08.584
the color is...

00:48:08.586 --> 00:48:10.586
She claims
it brings out my smile.

00:48:10.588 --> 00:48:12.988
Wednesday,
you don't have a smile.

00:48:12.990 --> 00:48:14.524
Turns out
I have a lot of things

00:48:14.526 --> 00:48:15.828
you don't know about.

00:48:18.697 --> 00:48:19.863
(LURCH MOANS)

00:48:19.865 --> 00:48:21.898
GRANDMA: (GASPS)
I see I got here just in time.

00:48:21.900 --> 00:48:23.633
You were right to call, Gomez.

00:48:23.635 --> 00:48:25.869
I'll talk to her.
Hand me that bear trap.

00:48:25.871 --> 00:48:29.275
Thank you, Grandma.
But I will handle this.

00:48:29.874 --> 00:48:31.276
Ah, suit yourself.

00:48:34.378 --> 00:48:37.814
When you're done with Fabio,
send him up to my room.

00:48:37.816 --> 00:48:40.052
- Ooh-hoo-hoo.
- LURCH: Oh, boy!

00:48:42.688 --> 00:48:44.419
MORTICIA: Wednesday.

00:48:44.421 --> 00:48:46.756
How would you like
to join me tomorrow

00:48:46.758 --> 00:48:51.294
after the school for tea
and séance in the cemetery?

00:48:51.296 --> 00:48:53.028
Is attendance mandatory?

00:48:53.030 --> 00:48:54.731
Come now, my little raven.

00:48:54.733 --> 00:48:57.200
You did so love it
when you were younger.

00:48:57.202 --> 00:48:58.570
If you like, Mother.

00:49:00.738 --> 00:49:02.439
Sleep well, dear.

00:49:02.441 --> 00:49:04.977
Don't forget to kick
your father good night.

00:49:07.244 --> 00:49:09.280
- (POP MUSIC PLAYING)
- (SIZZLES)

00:49:10.314 --> 00:49:11.747
PARKER: What's your
favorite filter?

00:49:11.749 --> 00:49:15.051
I don't know. I look black
and white in all of them.

00:49:15.053 --> 00:49:16.385
PARKER: You know,
when I met you,

00:49:16.387 --> 00:49:18.120
I thought you were
super weird.

00:49:18.122 --> 00:49:19.921
But now,
I think you're really cool.

00:49:19.923 --> 00:49:21.157
I concur.

00:49:21.159 --> 00:49:23.325
You're not completely devoid
of merit yourself.

00:49:23.327 --> 00:49:25.430
I wanna say "thank you"...

00:49:26.597 --> 00:49:27.896
(CREAKING)

00:49:27.898 --> 00:49:28.965
Oh, how'd that barrette

00:49:28.967 --> 00:49:30.399
you bought yesterday
go over at home?

00:49:30.401 --> 00:49:34.671
Actually, my mother's reaction
was, well, unexpected.

00:49:34.673 --> 00:49:38.307
She was accepting.
It depressed me.

00:49:38.309 --> 00:49:41.611
One never wants to see
one's mother that way.

00:49:41.613 --> 00:49:42.812
But I must admit,

00:49:42.814 --> 00:49:47.682
walking around in something
so garish, so grotesque...

00:49:47.684 --> 00:49:49.785
I was shocked
how thrilling it felt.

00:49:49.787 --> 00:49:52.354
(SIGHS) I wish
I could do that.

00:49:52.356 --> 00:49:54.090
But my mom makes me
wear this stuff,

00:49:54.092 --> 00:49:56.093
and it's just so...

00:49:56.095 --> 00:50:00.296
I believe the word you're
looking for is "unfortunate."

00:50:00.298 --> 00:50:03.700
Ugh. I'd love to
just go crazy

00:50:03.702 --> 00:50:06.271
and wear something
that would shock her.

00:50:07.439 --> 00:50:08.671
Well, Parker,

00:50:08.673 --> 00:50:09.838
you're in luck.

00:50:09.840 --> 00:50:13.211
You happen to be talking
to the queen of shock.

00:50:14.979 --> 00:50:17.116
(HAUNTING ARIA PLAYING)

00:50:18.215 --> 00:50:19.550
(CAWING)

00:50:29.793 --> 00:50:31.896
(CRYSTAL BALL RINGING)

00:50:34.298 --> 00:50:35.463
Hello, Mother.

00:50:35.465 --> 00:50:37.633
GRANDMA FRUMP:
<i>Where's my little wraith?</i>

00:50:37.635 --> 00:50:39.568
(SIGHS) Wednesday
still hasn't arrived.

00:50:39.570 --> 00:50:42.204
We agreed to come up here
for tea and séance,

00:50:42.206 --> 00:50:44.840
and now it seems
she stood me up.

00:50:44.842 --> 00:50:46.575
GRANDMA FRUMP: <i>Morticia!
Can you hear me?</i>

00:50:46.577 --> 00:50:47.977
GRANDPA FRUMP:
<i>You're not doing it right.</i>

00:50:47.979 --> 00:50:49.312
- <i>Press that button there.</i>
- GRANDMA FRUMP: <i>I did! I did!</i>

00:50:49.314 --> 00:50:50.379
GRANDPA FRUMP:
<i>Did you hear it click?</i>

00:50:50.381 --> 00:50:51.479
GRANDMA FRUMP: <i>Morticia!</i>

00:50:51.481 --> 00:50:52.615
GRANDPA FRUMP:
<i>It's supposed to be on</i>

00:50:52.617 --> 00:50:54.017
- <i>when you hear the click.</i>
- <i>Wait, I see something.</i>

00:50:54.019 --> 00:50:55.718
GRANDPA FRUMP: <i>You did it!</i>
GRANDMA FRUMP: <i>Hello, darling!</i>

00:50:55.720 --> 00:50:57.486
<i>Now, where's my granddaughter?</i>

00:50:57.488 --> 00:50:58.921
Just what I said.

00:50:58.923 --> 00:51:01.057
I think she's distancing
herself from me.

00:51:01.059 --> 00:51:02.691
GRANDMA FRUMP: <i>Oh,
she's wrapped in a black hole</i>

00:51:02.693 --> 00:51:03.992
<i>of emptiness and longing,</i>

00:51:03.994 --> 00:51:05.528
<i>like all of us Frump women.</i>

00:51:05.530 --> 00:51:07.963
- GRANDPA FRUMP: <i>Wednesday?
- It's not Wednesday!</i>

00:51:07.965 --> 00:51:09.999
- GRANDPA FRUMP: <i>Who's this?</i>
- It's me, Father.

00:51:10.001 --> 00:51:11.066
GRANDPA FRUMP: <i>Morticia?</i>

00:51:11.068 --> 00:51:13.436
<i>What's wrong with you now?</i>

00:51:13.438 --> 00:51:15.537
The world can be so cruel.

00:51:15.539 --> 00:51:18.173
And all she wants to do
is run toward it.

00:51:18.175 --> 00:51:20.041
GRANDMA FRUMP:
<i>She's a lot like you that way.</i>

00:51:20.043 --> 00:51:21.510
<i>You wanted to see the world.</i>

00:51:21.512 --> 00:51:23.680
<i>Find yourself.
Serve time!</i>

00:51:23.682 --> 00:51:26.615
GRANDPA FRUMP: <i>Listen,
Morticia, remember the time</i>

00:51:26.617 --> 00:51:29.619
<i>you ran away
and joined the Girl Scouts?</i>

00:51:29.621 --> 00:51:33.189
<i>We were so worried
you were on a bad path.</i>

00:51:33.191 --> 00:51:35.624
<i>But when you found out
that campfires</i>

00:51:35.626 --> 00:51:38.928
<i>were for roasting marshmallows
and not other Girl Scouts,</i>

00:51:38.930 --> 00:51:40.930
<i>well, you got bored
and you came home.</i>

00:51:40.932 --> 00:51:43.233
GRANDMA FRUMP:
<i>We were so relieved.</i>

00:51:43.235 --> 00:51:44.700
GRANDPA FRUMP:
<i>Trust Wednesday.</i>

00:51:44.702 --> 00:51:47.803
<i>Like you,
she'll do the right thing.</i>

00:51:47.805 --> 00:51:51.374
Thank you, Father.
That's most comforting.

00:51:51.376 --> 00:51:53.408
GRANDPA FRUMP: <i>Good.
Wait a second.</i>

00:51:53.410 --> 00:51:54.642
<i>When did I die?</i>

00:51:54.644 --> 00:51:56.146
GRANDMA FRUMP: <i>20 years ago.</i>

00:51:56.148 --> 00:51:58.914
GRANDPA FRUMP: <i>Oh, right.
Happy anniversary, darling.</i>

00:51:58.916 --> 00:52:02.551
All right, Pugsley, let's,
uh, go through it again.

00:52:02.553 --> 00:52:05.655
You got this, Pugsley.
This Mazurka's nothing.

00:52:05.657 --> 00:52:07.490
- (SLURPS)
- (LIQUID SLOSHES)

00:52:07.492 --> 00:52:10.425
- You eat swords for breakfast.
- (BELCHES)

00:52:10.427 --> 00:52:13.095
You just got a case
of pre-ball jitters.

00:52:13.097 --> 00:52:15.263
It's way more common
than you think.

00:52:15.265 --> 00:52:17.834
If a Mazurka lasts
for more than four hours,

00:52:17.836 --> 00:52:19.438
contact your doctor.

00:52:20.805 --> 00:52:22.841
From the top.
Music!

00:52:23.675 --> 00:52:25.010
(PLAYS UPBEAT TUNE)

00:52:29.780 --> 00:52:31.115
(WHIMPERS)

00:52:31.883 --> 00:52:32.918
(CHOKES)

00:52:36.188 --> 00:52:37.653
(HIGH-PITCHED MOAN)

00:52:37.655 --> 00:52:38.820
Pugsley,

00:52:38.822 --> 00:52:40.455
I can honestly say

00:52:40.457 --> 00:52:44.593
that was most definitely
a thing you did.

00:52:44.595 --> 00:52:47.863
(CHUCKLES) A question,
what in heaven's name was it?

00:52:47.865 --> 00:52:49.265
The Sabre Mazurka.

00:52:49.267 --> 00:52:50.469
(GASPS)

00:52:51.702 --> 00:52:54.104
You know what?
You've been practicing hard.

00:52:54.106 --> 00:52:56.205
Why don't we
call it a day? Hmm?

00:52:56.207 --> 00:52:58.207
- Hit the showers, kid.
- (SLAPS)

00:52:58.209 --> 00:52:59.575
So, we're finished?

00:52:59.577 --> 00:53:00.843
Ah, yes.

00:53:00.845 --> 00:53:04.613
Yes, son. We are
most certainly finished.

00:53:04.615 --> 00:53:06.582
Mmm. Okay. Thanks, Pop.

00:53:06.584 --> 00:53:08.020
Thanks, Uncle Fester.

00:53:10.688 --> 00:53:12.655
(SIGHS)

00:53:12.657 --> 00:53:16.693
This is a complete disaster!
How did this happen?

00:53:16.695 --> 00:53:18.193
And he's going
to make a fool of himself

00:53:18.195 --> 00:53:19.495
in front of everyone!

00:53:19.497 --> 00:53:21.530
Gomez, you gotta calm down!

00:53:21.532 --> 00:53:23.800
There's still a day
to get him ready!

00:53:23.802 --> 00:53:27.437
Fester, a year wouldn't be
enough to get him ready.

00:53:27.439 --> 00:53:29.506
I've failed him, Fester.

00:53:29.508 --> 00:53:34.142
I tried to raise him to be
an Addams, but I failed.

00:53:34.144 --> 00:53:36.914
They're going
to eat him alive.

00:53:38.916 --> 00:53:41.983
(SINGING) <i>I like it like that
Ooh, baby</i>

00:53:41.985 --> 00:53:44.019
<i>I said I like it like that</i>

00:53:44.021 --> 00:53:48.124
<i>Ooh, baby,
I like it like that</i>

00:53:48.126 --> 00:53:50.359
All right. Thank you.

00:53:50.361 --> 00:53:52.762
Grandma,
we already have a band.

00:53:52.764 --> 00:53:55.164
They came highly recommended
from the mortuary.

00:53:55.166 --> 00:53:56.465
Oh.

00:53:56.467 --> 00:53:58.501
(SCOFFS) I'm sure
they're good.

00:53:58.503 --> 00:54:01.370
My sister Sloom is
going to be judging Pugsley.

00:54:01.372 --> 00:54:03.273
And if things aren't done
the traditional way,

00:54:03.275 --> 00:54:04.840
she won't be happy,

00:54:04.842 --> 00:54:07.109
and the Mazurka
could be a disaster!

00:54:07.111 --> 00:54:09.113
But what do I know?

00:54:09.414 --> 00:54:10.546
Fine.

00:54:10.548 --> 00:54:11.948
SHRUNKEN HEAD 1:
Yay, we got the gig!

00:54:11.950 --> 00:54:13.048
SHRUNKEN HEAD 2: We got it!

00:54:13.050 --> 00:54:14.550
- Ah, one more thing...
- (LOUD BANGING)

00:54:14.552 --> 00:54:17.919
Oh, someone's at the door.
I'd better go see who it is.

00:54:17.921 --> 00:54:19.756
(SHRUNKEN HEADS
CONTINUE EXCLAIMING)

00:54:19.758 --> 00:54:21.356
(DOOR CLANGS)

00:54:21.358 --> 00:54:22.360
(GASPS)

00:54:24.896 --> 00:54:28.597
(SINGING) <i>What's so great
about being yourself</i>

00:54:28.599 --> 00:54:32.734
<i>When you can be like
everyone else?</i>

00:54:32.736 --> 00:54:35.271
Do not speak
to your mother that way.

00:54:35.273 --> 00:54:37.805
How dare you
enter this house like that.

00:54:37.807 --> 00:54:39.945
Wait, where are your tattoos?

00:54:42.380 --> 00:54:43.812
Oh, thank the stars!

00:54:43.814 --> 00:54:46.381
- Where were you?
- Hanging out with Parker.

00:54:46.383 --> 00:54:49.151
Is this why you skipped
tea and séance?

00:54:49.153 --> 00:54:51.153
Your grandparents
were trying to contact you.

00:54:51.155 --> 00:54:52.454
Holy Hades!

00:54:52.456 --> 00:54:54.057
Whoever did that to you,
Wednesday,

00:54:54.059 --> 00:54:56.425
I hope the other guy
looks worse.

00:54:56.427 --> 00:54:59.361
Nobody did this to me.
This is my new look.

00:54:59.363 --> 00:55:00.629
Do you like it?

00:55:00.631 --> 00:55:01.731
I do not like it.

00:55:01.733 --> 00:55:03.932
Everyone knows pink
is a gateway color.

00:55:03.934 --> 00:55:06.769
I warned you about sending her
to public school.

00:55:06.771 --> 00:55:07.836
Don't worry.

00:55:07.838 --> 00:55:09.570
Wednesday is never
going to that school again.

00:55:09.572 --> 00:55:10.905
- What?
- MORTICIA: In fact,

00:55:10.907 --> 00:55:13.311
she's never leaving
this house again.

00:55:16.447 --> 00:55:19.515
Wow, that's some evil eye
she's got there.

00:55:19.517 --> 00:55:22.651
No, that dead-eye stare
is new.

00:55:22.653 --> 00:55:24.854
And I think I know
where she got it.

00:55:24.856 --> 00:55:27.590
Hey, guys, this is me now.

00:55:27.592 --> 00:55:30.593
If you like it, hit "like,"
but who cares if you like it.

00:55:30.595 --> 00:55:32.028
- I'm living my truth.
- (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

00:55:32.030 --> 00:55:33.798
(SCREAMS) Parker?

00:55:35.298 --> 00:55:37.369
- Who did this to you?
- I did.

00:55:38.102 --> 00:55:40.102
This is my new look, Mother.

00:55:40.104 --> 00:55:44.673
I decided that from now on,
I choose my clothes, not you.

00:55:44.675 --> 00:55:48.077
Argh! This is that little
creep Wednesday Addams' work!

00:55:48.079 --> 00:55:51.347
She's not a creep.
She's just not like you.

00:55:51.349 --> 00:55:53.216
Why can't you ever let
people be different?

00:55:53.218 --> 00:55:57.486
Because it's my calling
to make everyone the same.

00:55:57.488 --> 00:56:01.390
(HISSING) Too bright!
It burns! (GROANING)

00:56:01.392 --> 00:56:04.292
Good! Maybe it'll burn away
the weird!

00:56:04.294 --> 00:56:05.494
I hate it here!

00:56:05.496 --> 00:56:07.495
Everything's boring
and fake and bright,

00:56:07.497 --> 00:56:09.231
like plastic flowers!

00:56:09.233 --> 00:56:10.466
Like you!

00:56:10.468 --> 00:56:14.504
Parker!
Plastic flowers live forever.

00:56:14.506 --> 00:56:16.808
Now, you go think
about that in your room.

00:56:17.407 --> 00:56:19.508
With no social media.

00:56:19.510 --> 00:56:21.977
No! Please, no.
Anything but that!

00:56:21.979 --> 00:56:24.646
Now go wipe that depressing
goop off your face.

00:56:24.648 --> 00:56:26.414
(SCOFFS) You first!

00:56:26.416 --> 00:56:30.553
Oh! Those Addamses
have gone too far this time.

00:56:30.555 --> 00:56:33.592
I think they're going to need
a little more help.

00:56:49.374 --> 00:56:50.542
Hey!

00:56:52.510 --> 00:56:54.376
Where are you going?

00:56:54.378 --> 00:56:55.945
A friend's.

00:56:55.947 --> 00:57:00.249
I hold people prisoner,
not the other way around.

00:57:00.251 --> 00:57:02.350
Good luck with your Mazurka.

00:57:02.352 --> 00:57:04.754
Wait, you're leaving?

00:57:04.756 --> 00:57:06.555
Who's gonna torment me
every day?

00:57:06.557 --> 00:57:09.758
Living under this roof is
all the torment you'll need.

00:57:09.760 --> 00:57:12.026
Besides, our parents
have made it clear

00:57:12.028 --> 00:57:14.796
that the only way
to be accepted in this family

00:57:14.798 --> 00:57:17.733
is to be exactly like them.

00:57:17.735 --> 00:57:20.102
I can't play
by those rules anymore.

00:57:20.104 --> 00:57:22.637
Farewell, brother Pugsley.

00:57:22.639 --> 00:57:24.542
Tomorrow, you become a man.

00:57:25.075 --> 00:57:27.311
And I become a fugitive.

00:57:28.979 --> 00:57:31.713
Always kinda knew
it'd end up like this.

00:57:31.715 --> 00:57:34.249
Just didn't think
it'd be so soon.

00:57:34.251 --> 00:57:36.718
WEDNESDAY: I'll never
forget you, Pugsley!

00:57:36.720 --> 00:57:38.553
But I'll try.

00:57:38.555 --> 00:57:41.657
Pugsley, have you seen
your sister?

00:57:41.659 --> 00:57:43.258
She's not in her room.

00:57:43.260 --> 00:57:44.827
PUGSLEY: Mmm...

00:57:44.829 --> 00:57:47.164
Pugsley. Where's Wednesday?

00:57:47.731 --> 00:57:49.099
Um... Tsk.

00:57:50.834 --> 00:57:55.236
Tick, tock,
tick, tock, Mother.

00:57:55.238 --> 00:57:58.006
You're getting very sleepy.

00:57:58.008 --> 00:57:59.240
Pugsley...

00:57:59.242 --> 00:58:02.979
She did not go
to her friend's house.

00:58:02.981 --> 00:58:04.814
She went to
her friend's house?

00:58:04.816 --> 00:58:08.684
I repeat, she did not
go to her friend's...

00:58:08.686 --> 00:58:09.920
(PUGSLEY GROANS)

00:58:18.963 --> 00:58:20.262
(SIGHS)

00:58:20.264 --> 00:58:22.367
(MELLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

00:58:32.843 --> 00:58:34.111
(CLEARS THROAT)

00:58:35.046 --> 00:58:38.617
(SINGING) <i>When the day is long</i>

00:58:40.285 --> 00:58:42.220
<i>And the night</i>

00:58:42.887 --> 00:58:45.323
<i>The night is yours alone</i>

00:58:50.561 --> 00:58:51.959
<i>When you're sure</i>

00:58:51.961 --> 00:58:54.532
- <i>You've had enough</i>
- (SIGHS)

00:58:56.066 --> 00:58:58.235
<i>Of this life</i>

00:59:00.070 --> 00:59:02.140
<i>Hang on</i>

00:59:05.809 --> 00:59:09.514
<i>Don't let yourself go</i>

00:59:13.418 --> 00:59:17.088
<i>'Cause everybody cries</i>

00:59:21.191 --> 00:59:26.160
<i>And everybody hurts</i>

00:59:26.162 --> 00:59:27.562
- (WINDOW CREAKS)
- (GASPS)

00:59:27.564 --> 00:59:29.532
<i>Sometimes</i>

00:59:29.534 --> 00:59:32.202
I shall be staying with you
for a while.

00:59:33.104 --> 00:59:36.942
(SINGING) <i>Everybody hurts</i>

00:59:41.111 --> 00:59:42.343
MAN: (ON PHONE)
<i>If this doesn't work,</i>

00:59:42.345 --> 00:59:44.379
<i>the next house we flip
is gonna land on you.</i>

00:59:44.381 --> 00:59:45.580
Marty, listen to me.

00:59:45.582 --> 00:59:48.184
Tomorrow, our finale
will be the biggest half hour

00:59:48.186 --> 00:59:49.919
your network has ever aired.

00:59:49.921 --> 00:59:52.088
There's just one more thing
to take care of.

00:59:52.090 --> 00:59:53.555
<i>This better be good
or you won't be able</i>

00:59:53.557 --> 00:59:54.791
<i>to get a job as a doormat.</i>

00:59:54.793 --> 00:59:55.925
Yes, yes, yes.

00:59:55.927 --> 00:59:59.396
I intend to bring
the house down.

01:00:02.032 --> 01:00:04.035
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

01:00:13.311 --> 01:00:14.977
SNOOP DOGG: (SINGING)
<i>When the pimp's in the crib ma</i>

01:00:14.979 --> 01:00:17.546
<i>Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot</i>

01:00:17.548 --> 01:00:18.814
<i>Drop it like it's hot</i>

01:00:18.816 --> 01:00:20.283
<i>When the pigs try
to get at you</i>

01:00:20.285 --> 01:00:22.783
<i>Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot</i>

01:00:22.785 --> 01:00:23.952
<i>Park it like it's hot</i>

01:00:23.954 --> 01:00:25.421
<i>And if a... get a attitude</i>

01:00:25.423 --> 01:00:27.756
<i>Pop it like it's hot
Pop it like it's hot</i>

01:00:27.758 --> 01:00:28.890
<i>Pop it like it's hot</i>

01:00:28.892 --> 01:00:31.561
<i>I got the Rolly on my arm
and I'm pouring Chandon</i>

01:00:31.563 --> 01:00:34.633
<i>And I roll the best...
'cause I got it going on</i>

01:00:37.001 --> 01:00:38.436
(GONG CRASHES)

01:00:39.803 --> 01:00:43.738
(DRONING) You rang?

01:00:43.740 --> 01:00:46.207
It. Cousin. You made it!

01:00:46.209 --> 01:00:47.341
(IT GIBBERS)

01:00:47.343 --> 01:00:49.812
Please, come in.
Make yourself at home.

01:00:49.814 --> 01:00:51.582
(IT GIBBERING)

01:00:52.416 --> 01:00:53.950
Where did she hide my phone?

01:00:53.952 --> 01:00:55.450
I haven't been able

01:00:55.452 --> 01:00:57.820
to post a photo of my lunch
in almost three days!

01:00:57.822 --> 01:01:00.321
And what about in there?

01:01:00.323 --> 01:01:02.358
That's my mom's crafting room.

01:01:02.360 --> 01:01:04.660
No one is allowed in there.

01:01:04.662 --> 01:01:06.031
Then that's where it is.

01:01:13.671 --> 01:01:15.040
Weird.

01:01:21.813 --> 01:01:22.881
(LEVER CLICKS)

01:01:28.052 --> 01:01:29.218
Whoa.

01:01:29.220 --> 01:01:30.885
Hidden depths.

01:01:30.887 --> 01:01:32.821
PARKER: What is this?

01:01:32.823 --> 01:01:35.791
There's Mr. Haney
making a sandwich.

01:01:35.793 --> 01:01:38.526
And that guy trying to put
a tiny tuxedo on his cat.

01:01:38.528 --> 01:01:39.794
- MR. FLYNN: <i>Sit still!</i>
- That's Mr. Flynn.

01:01:39.796 --> 01:01:40.863
MR. FLYNN: <i>Why are you
being so difficult?</i>

01:01:40.865 --> 01:01:41.930
- (CAT YOWLS)
- <i>Trying to make you</i>

01:01:41.932 --> 01:01:43.532
- <i>look handsome.</i>
- My money's on the cat.

01:01:43.534 --> 01:01:46.234
And there's our science
teacher, Ms. Gravely,

01:01:46.236 --> 01:01:49.238
putting her underwear
in the freezer?

01:01:49.240 --> 01:01:52.573
My mom must have built
hidden cameras

01:01:52.575 --> 01:01:54.475
into all of the houses.

01:01:54.477 --> 01:01:55.878
WEDNESDAY:
She really is psycho.

01:01:55.880 --> 01:01:57.015
- MARGAUX: Parker!
- Whoa!

01:01:58.381 --> 01:02:00.247
Hey, Mom.

01:02:00.249 --> 01:02:02.651
We were just looking for you.

01:02:02.653 --> 01:02:06.724
What have I told you
about Mommy's crafting room?

01:02:08.425 --> 01:02:11.526
Sorry to do this,
but standards must be upheld.

01:02:11.528 --> 01:02:14.032
Parker, someday you'll
understand, and, Wednesday...

01:02:14.564 --> 01:02:15.833
Well, anyway, Parker.

01:02:18.202 --> 01:02:19.568
- (GRUNTING)
- (DOOR RATTLES)

01:02:19.570 --> 01:02:22.838
(SIGHS) My mom
has a lair and a jail?

01:02:22.840 --> 01:02:25.173
I knew I should have picked
to live with my dad.

01:02:25.175 --> 01:02:27.541
- We're gonna be on TV!
- (EXCITED CHATTER)

01:02:27.543 --> 01:02:28.711
Are we gonna be famous?

01:02:28.713 --> 01:02:30.079
DENISE: Glenn, what do you
want in the frame?

01:02:30.081 --> 01:02:32.280
- Okay, everyone, listen up.
- (WOMAN SHUSHING)

01:02:32.282 --> 01:02:34.216
It's the last run-through
before the finale,

01:02:34.218 --> 01:02:36.419
so let's try this
one last time, okay?

01:02:36.421 --> 01:02:39.155
We're gonna shoot across
the town square to the gazebo

01:02:39.157 --> 01:02:40.888
where Margaux
will make her grand entrance.

01:02:40.890 --> 01:02:43.392
So everyone will be
walking this direction

01:02:43.394 --> 01:02:44.892
across the square.

01:02:44.894 --> 01:02:46.695
Judy, you start here,

01:02:46.697 --> 01:02:48.463
Ken, you're gonna follow Judy.

01:02:48.465 --> 01:02:51.133
You can stand right here
and...

01:02:51.135 --> 01:02:53.537
Uh, is there
a bathroom nearby?

01:02:54.037 --> 01:02:55.572
(GASPS) Uh...

01:02:58.742 --> 01:03:00.642
(HUSHED VOICE)
Margaux, they're here!

01:03:00.644 --> 01:03:02.245
MARGAUX: (ON PHONE)
<i>What are you talking about?</i>

01:03:02.247 --> 01:03:03.711
They're here!

01:03:03.713 --> 01:03:05.948
The Addams family!

01:03:05.950 --> 01:03:07.252
- (MAN EXCLAIMING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

01:03:10.820 --> 01:03:12.256
(MAN SCREAMING)

01:03:16.126 --> 01:03:17.292
Pardon me.

01:03:17.294 --> 01:03:18.428
(GLENN YELPS)

01:03:18.930 --> 01:03:19.998
Excuse me.

01:03:20.664 --> 01:03:21.829
What are we gonna do?

01:03:21.831 --> 01:03:26.936
What we always do, Glenn.
Help people.

01:03:26.938 --> 01:03:30.104
"The Addams monsters
are planning

01:03:30.106 --> 01:03:33.975
"to attack the town tonight!"
Exclamation point.

01:03:33.977 --> 01:03:35.144
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

01:03:35.146 --> 01:03:37.816
<i>"Meet at Margaux's house now."</i>

01:03:38.282 --> 01:03:39.984
Mmm? Oh.

01:03:45.590 --> 01:03:48.291
Salutations, Addams.
We're here!

01:03:48.293 --> 01:03:51.325
Petunia, I love what
you've done with your hair.

01:03:51.327 --> 01:03:54.028
Thanks, I just had it mowed.

01:03:54.030 --> 01:03:56.497
Please, come in.
Make yourself uncomfortable.

01:03:56.499 --> 01:03:58.800
- Uncle Onion!
- (VOCALIZES)

01:03:58.802 --> 01:04:00.202
- It's been so long!
- <i>Voilà!</i>

01:04:00.204 --> 01:04:02.437
Yes, so disappointed
to see you.

01:04:02.439 --> 01:04:05.807
Ah, you always manage
to bring a tear to my eye!

01:04:05.809 --> 01:04:06.941
(KISSES LOUDLY)

01:04:06.943 --> 01:04:09.678
Greetings, Dr. Flambe!
How you doing?

01:04:09.680 --> 01:04:11.814
- I'm on fire!
- Good!

01:04:11.816 --> 01:04:13.582
This party's gonna be lit!

01:04:13.584 --> 01:04:15.520
Ah, Auntie Sloom.

01:04:16.153 --> 01:04:18.452
Auntie Sloom!

01:04:18.454 --> 01:04:23.191
You are as radiant
as a barrel of nuclear waste.

01:04:23.193 --> 01:04:26.163
Where is the boy?

01:04:26.497 --> 01:04:27.562
Pugsley?

01:04:27.564 --> 01:04:29.530
- (PUGSLEY GRUNTING)
- Ah, there you are.

01:04:29.532 --> 01:04:30.832
Come down and say hello

01:04:30.834 --> 01:04:32.202
- to your Auntie Sloom.
- Ahh!

01:04:34.805 --> 01:04:39.508
Gomez, this tradition is not
to be taken lightly.

01:04:39.510 --> 01:04:42.676
I trust that the boy
has been properly trained.

01:04:42.678 --> 01:04:44.245
Yes, once you see how we've...

01:04:44.247 --> 01:04:48.883
It's bad enough this Mazurka
is taking place in New Jersey.

01:04:48.885 --> 01:04:52.021
Now, where are the dregs?
I'm thirsty.

01:04:52.023 --> 01:04:54.023
MARGAUX: (ON MEGAPHONE)
<i>You've seen them!</i>

01:04:54.025 --> 01:04:57.325
<i>You've heard the stories
on Neighborhood Peeps!</i>

01:04:57.327 --> 01:05:01.729
<i>Those Addams aren't people,
they're monsters!</i>

01:05:01.731 --> 01:05:04.901
<i>And now, there's
an infestation of them!</i>

01:05:04.903 --> 01:05:08.236
<i>They're here to destroy
our beautiful community</i>

01:05:08.238 --> 01:05:09.437
<i>and turn it into a place</i>

01:05:09.439 --> 01:05:11.907
<i>that no</i> Design Intervention
<i>can save!</i>

01:05:11.909 --> 01:05:14.410
Addams aren't wanted here!

01:05:14.412 --> 01:05:16.245
They're monsters!
They're all monsters!

01:05:16.247 --> 01:05:19.347
<i>We need to destroy them first!</i>

01:05:19.349 --> 01:05:21.251
<i>Who's with me?</i>

01:05:22.119 --> 01:05:23.584
<i>We'll be revealing
Assimilation</i>

01:05:23.586 --> 01:05:25.787
<i>and all of you to our audience
in just an hour.</i>

01:05:25.789 --> 01:05:29.224
<i>Our last chance to help
these people is now.</i>

01:05:29.226 --> 01:05:32.727
Bill, John, do you still have
that lovely catapult?

01:05:32.729 --> 01:05:34.195
BILL AND JOHN: Yes, we do!

01:05:34.197 --> 01:05:36.198
Are you sure about this?

01:05:36.200 --> 01:05:38.066
MAN 1: We can't let them ruin
our neighborhood!

01:05:38.068 --> 01:05:39.133
MAN 2: Let's do it!

01:05:39.135 --> 01:05:40.537
WOMAN: I want them out!

01:05:42.305 --> 01:05:45.506
No one torments
my family but me.

01:05:45.508 --> 01:05:46.811
Hair clip, please.

01:05:47.711 --> 01:05:48.947
Okay.

01:05:55.151 --> 01:05:56.153
(CLICKS)

01:05:57.755 --> 01:06:00.590
- (GASPS)
- Cage school 101.

01:06:02.093 --> 01:06:03.158
HEAD ADDAMS:
He'd better be ready

01:06:03.160 --> 01:06:04.559
or Auntie Sloom
will have his head!

01:06:04.561 --> 01:06:05.961
FEMALE ADDAMS:
He looks very small.

01:06:05.963 --> 01:06:07.662
MALE ADDAMS 1: That kid's
got some big shoes to fill.

01:06:07.664 --> 01:06:09.465
MALE ADDAMS 2: I certainly
hope the boy's ready.

01:06:09.467 --> 01:06:11.999
Well, I'm not going
easy on him.

01:06:12.001 --> 01:06:14.005
(PLAYING UPBEAT
SPOOKY MUSIC)

01:06:22.012 --> 01:06:23.111
FESTER: Heads up.

01:06:23.113 --> 01:06:24.646
(SINGERS VOCALIZING)

01:06:24.648 --> 01:06:26.314
Hey, alto, you're flat.

01:06:26.316 --> 01:06:27.950
(IT GIBBERING)

01:06:27.952 --> 01:06:29.454
(LAUGHTER)

01:06:32.155 --> 01:06:33.488
Sloom.

01:06:33.490 --> 01:06:35.925
- Sister.
- Darling, I...

01:06:35.927 --> 01:06:37.693
I know the last time
we saw each other,

01:06:37.695 --> 01:06:39.193
we had that horrible fight.

01:06:39.195 --> 01:06:42.564
And I just wanted to tell you,
from the bottom of my heart,

01:06:42.566 --> 01:06:45.466
I won that fight!
And I was glad I cheated!

01:06:45.468 --> 01:06:49.504
You won?
Still a sore loser, as always!

01:06:49.506 --> 01:06:52.274
I want a rematch!
Right here! Right now!

01:06:52.276 --> 01:06:54.809
Auntie Sloom?
Can I get you anything?

01:06:54.811 --> 01:06:56.178
When's the Mazurka?

01:06:56.180 --> 01:06:57.780
Soon, soon.

01:06:57.782 --> 01:06:59.615
Our daughter Wednesday
isn't here yet.

01:06:59.617 --> 01:07:02.383
If your daughter
can't be on time,

01:07:02.385 --> 01:07:04.688
then we will begin
without her!

01:07:05.322 --> 01:07:07.955
Very well, Auntie Sloom.

01:07:07.957 --> 01:07:09.026
(LAUGHING)

01:07:11.361 --> 01:07:14.798
- Attention, please. Attention!
- (GLASS CLINKS)

01:07:15.999 --> 01:07:17.198
(CRUNCHES, GULPS)

01:07:17.200 --> 01:07:20.135
The hour is upon us.

01:07:20.137 --> 01:07:21.238
Places!

01:07:31.983 --> 01:07:33.484
(PLAYING CEREMONIAL MUSIC
ON ORGAN)

01:07:34.985 --> 01:07:40.756
We gather today to witness
my son, Pugsley Addams,

01:07:40.758 --> 01:07:43.561
perform his Sabre Mazurka.

01:07:44.260 --> 01:07:45.896
(ORGAN CONTINUES PLAYING)

01:08:06.249 --> 01:08:09.852
He will begin with a reading
from the Terror,

01:08:09.854 --> 01:08:13.624
which commemorates
our cries in battle.

01:08:19.229 --> 01:08:20.431
(IT GIBBERS)

01:08:21.097 --> 01:08:23.133
(WAILING HOWL)

01:08:28.771 --> 01:08:29.773
(IT GIBBERS)

01:08:31.642 --> 01:08:33.444
(HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING)

01:08:35.579 --> 01:08:39.483
And now,
the transition into manhood.

01:08:40.584 --> 01:08:41.586
(IT GIBBERS)

01:08:42.152 --> 01:08:43.251
(INHALES DEEPLY)

01:08:43.253 --> 01:08:44.655
(STRAINING)

01:08:45.423 --> 01:08:46.791
(ALL APPLAUDING)

01:08:49.960 --> 01:08:51.628
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

01:08:57.267 --> 01:09:00.101
(CLEARS THROAT)
<i>And now, the Sabre Mazurka.</i>

01:09:00.103 --> 01:09:01.905
(EXCITED MURMURING)

01:09:08.144 --> 01:09:09.446
Hold still.

01:09:11.482 --> 01:09:13.849
The Addams mustache.

01:09:13.851 --> 01:09:15.452
Now you're ready.

01:09:17.754 --> 01:09:19.523
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

01:09:40.611 --> 01:09:41.612
(SWORD THUDS)

01:09:47.017 --> 01:09:48.019
(CLANGING)

01:09:49.320 --> 01:09:50.554
(ALL GASPING)

01:09:56.559 --> 01:09:58.129
(MUSIC CONTINUES)

01:10:21.418 --> 01:10:22.517
(ALL GASP)

01:10:22.519 --> 01:10:23.752
(MUSIC STOPS)

01:10:23.754 --> 01:10:25.189
(GUESTS MURMURING)

01:10:25.856 --> 01:10:26.924
GOMEZ: Pugsley?

01:10:29.593 --> 01:10:31.193
I give up.

01:10:31.195 --> 01:10:33.030
I can't do it, Pop.

01:10:34.564 --> 01:10:35.765
GUESTS: Oh.

01:10:38.402 --> 01:10:39.570
I'm sorry.

01:10:40.504 --> 01:10:42.537
I let you down.

01:10:42.539 --> 01:10:45.509
You haven't
let me down, Pugsley.

01:10:46.744 --> 01:10:48.510
I let you down.

01:10:48.512 --> 01:10:50.212
I was so focused
on doing things

01:10:50.214 --> 01:10:52.012
the traditional way,

01:10:52.014 --> 01:10:54.151
I forgot to let you
be who you are.

01:10:56.320 --> 01:10:57.722
(ALL GASPING)

01:10:58.588 --> 01:10:59.654
MARGAUX: (ON MEGAPHONE)
<i>Hey!</i>

01:10:59.656 --> 01:11:03.559
<i>Are ya ready
for your Margaux makeover now?</i>

01:11:03.561 --> 01:11:04.860
It's Margaux.

01:11:04.862 --> 01:11:06.227
She must have turned
the whole town

01:11:06.229 --> 01:11:07.863
into stark raving lunatics.

01:11:07.865 --> 01:11:10.265
Well, I have to admit,
I admire her work.

01:11:10.267 --> 01:11:11.400
BILL: Let's do this thing!

01:11:11.402 --> 01:11:13.235
It's locked and loaded,
Margaux.

01:11:13.237 --> 01:11:15.640
Let's go get 'em!
We've had enough!

01:11:16.205 --> 01:11:17.207
Fire!

01:11:19.442 --> 01:11:20.878
(ALL WHIMPERING)

01:11:22.144 --> 01:11:25.982
SPIRIT OF THE HOUSE: <i>Get out!</i>

01:11:29.120 --> 01:11:30.521
(PANICKED SCREAMING)

01:11:32.455 --> 01:11:33.888
Pugsley!

01:11:33.890 --> 01:11:36.958
What is the true meaning
of the Mazurka?

01:11:36.960 --> 01:11:39.461
It's about protecting
our family

01:11:39.463 --> 01:11:41.663
from those who would
do us harm!

01:11:41.665 --> 01:11:45.069
Go ahead.
Show 'em what you're good at.

01:11:45.635 --> 01:11:47.437
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

01:11:49.740 --> 01:11:53.809
<i>All we have to do
is pull down the side walls!</i>

01:11:53.811 --> 01:11:55.842
ROCK MAFIA: (SINGING)
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

01:11:55.844 --> 01:11:58.079
<i>You don't wanna mess with me</i>

01:11:58.081 --> 01:12:01.852
<i>'Cause if you mess with me
You're messing with my family</i>

01:12:03.853 --> 01:12:05.020
(GUESTS SCREAMING)

01:12:05.022 --> 01:12:07.890
Everyone, follow my boy!

01:12:07.892 --> 01:12:09.160
(PUGSLEY CHUCKLING)

01:12:12.963 --> 01:12:14.130
Hey, guys!

01:12:17.166 --> 01:12:18.468
(SCREAMING)

01:12:22.205 --> 01:12:23.573
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)

01:12:31.147 --> 01:12:34.818
ROCK MAFIA: <i>You might think
that we are all loco</i>

01:12:39.322 --> 01:12:43.160
<i>But this family
is about to go global</i>

01:12:49.165 --> 01:12:50.633
MARGAUX: <i>Fire!</i>

01:12:51.168 --> 01:12:52.436
(ALL WHIMPER)

01:12:53.070 --> 01:12:55.305
Shakalaka bang, baby!

01:13:02.412 --> 01:13:04.245
Quick! Out this way!

01:13:04.247 --> 01:13:05.582
(ALL MURMURING)

01:13:07.451 --> 01:13:08.883
(ALL GASPING)

01:13:08.885 --> 01:13:10.720
Pop, I'm out of ammo!

01:13:12.388 --> 01:13:13.989
We're trapped!

01:13:13.991 --> 01:13:15.426
(RUMBLING)

01:13:16.893 --> 01:13:18.561
(ALL WHIMPERING)

01:13:29.339 --> 01:13:30.707
(ALL YELP)

01:13:36.213 --> 01:13:38.012
Hope I'm not crashing
the party.

01:13:38.014 --> 01:13:39.114
PUGSLEY: Wednesday!

01:13:39.116 --> 01:13:40.414
- Yeah!
- (ALL SIGH)

01:13:40.416 --> 01:13:42.285
Ichabod, quick,
lower your branches!

01:13:45.054 --> 01:13:46.723
Everyone, grab on!

01:14:05.575 --> 01:14:07.478
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMS AND MURMUR)

01:14:09.946 --> 01:14:15.016
Margaux Needler never stops
until the project is complete.

01:14:15.018 --> 01:14:16.420
(MARGAUX LAUGHING)

01:14:18.488 --> 01:14:19.823
PUGSLEY: Fire in the hole!

01:14:20.424 --> 01:14:21.588
(MARGAUX GASPS)

01:14:21.590 --> 01:14:23.091
Mazurka!

01:14:23.093 --> 01:14:24.628
(GUESTS CHEERING)

01:14:26.495 --> 01:14:27.928
MORTICIA:
Is everyone all right?

01:14:27.930 --> 01:14:30.601
No limbs missing that weren't
missing before you arrived?

01:14:33.403 --> 01:14:34.905
(ALL SIGH IN RELIEF)

01:14:36.673 --> 01:14:40.842
My little raven,
I'm so happy you returned.

01:14:40.844 --> 01:14:42.443
Of course I came back.

01:14:42.445 --> 01:14:43.511
I knew there was no way

01:14:43.513 --> 01:14:45.012
you were going
to save yourselves.

01:14:45.014 --> 01:14:47.449
You are like
weak baby squirrels.

01:14:47.451 --> 01:14:48.953
(GUESTS GROANING)

01:14:51.321 --> 01:14:52.555
(RELIEVED CHATTER)

01:15:00.531 --> 01:15:01.631
WEDNESDAY: Socrates.

01:15:03.832 --> 01:15:06.437
Eight legs, nine lives.

01:15:08.804 --> 01:15:10.974
GOMEZ: You were right,
<i>cara mia.</i>

01:15:11.842 --> 01:15:13.443
People can be cruel.

01:15:14.376 --> 01:15:15.776
What have we done?

01:15:15.778 --> 01:15:18.312
They're just a family.

01:15:18.314 --> 01:15:19.480
MARGAUX: A family?

01:15:19.482 --> 01:15:21.615
Oh, please!
They're a bunch of monsters!

01:15:21.617 --> 01:15:24.052
Don't go soft on me, people.

01:15:24.054 --> 01:15:26.320
I will relish hounding you

01:15:26.322 --> 01:15:28.556
until that nuclear waste dump
of a house is gone

01:15:28.558 --> 01:15:31.391
and your mutant family
along with it! Ah!

01:15:31.393 --> 01:15:34.462
Be careful what you wish for,
Ms. Needler.

01:15:34.464 --> 01:15:38.369
My family and I will never run
from the likes of you again.

01:15:41.737 --> 01:15:43.339
(GASPS, STAMMERS)

01:15:44.006 --> 01:15:45.974
Deep breath, Margaux.

01:15:45.976 --> 01:15:47.708
Okay, I have a finale
to shoot.

01:15:47.710 --> 01:15:49.343
Parker, let's go.

01:15:49.345 --> 01:15:51.578
PARKER: I'm not going
anywhere with you.

01:15:51.580 --> 01:15:52.881
I'm staying with my friend.

01:15:52.883 --> 01:15:54.248
MARGAUX: Your friend?

01:15:54.250 --> 01:15:56.184
Parker, these people
are freaks.

01:15:56.186 --> 01:15:58.185
If they're freaks,
then I'm a freak.

01:15:58.187 --> 01:16:00.221
And so are all of you.

01:16:00.223 --> 01:16:01.355
Exhibit A.

01:16:01.357 --> 01:16:05.092
Ms. Gravely, you put
your underwear in the freezer.

01:16:05.094 --> 01:16:07.095
Hey, it's refreshing, okay?

01:16:07.097 --> 01:16:09.263
Exhibit B.
Trudy Pickering.

01:16:09.265 --> 01:16:11.533
You sit on
the toilet backwards.

01:16:11.535 --> 01:16:14.101
Well, where else am I supposed
to put my arms?

01:16:14.103 --> 01:16:16.104
Wait, how did you know that?

01:16:16.106 --> 01:16:20.108
Because your houses have been
infested with Needler-Vision.

01:16:20.110 --> 01:16:22.843
She has hidden cameras
everywhere.

01:16:22.845 --> 01:16:23.912
- What?
- (ALL GASP)

01:16:23.914 --> 01:16:26.580
WEDNESDAY: And watches you
all of the time.

01:16:26.582 --> 01:16:27.681
In my private time?

01:16:27.683 --> 01:16:28.749
MAN: That is creepy, actually.

01:16:28.751 --> 01:16:31.351
- What else has she seen?
- That is over the line!

01:16:31.353 --> 01:16:32.520
- MARGAUX: Shut up!
- (ALL GASP)

01:16:32.522 --> 01:16:35.891
Listen, you lemmings!
This is my town.

01:16:35.893 --> 01:16:38.627
You are nothing
but a bunch of extras.

01:16:38.629 --> 01:16:42.363
We are going to march down
that hill and do a live show.

01:16:42.365 --> 01:16:44.032
I expect you to convince

01:16:44.034 --> 01:16:46.534
those brainless peons
out there in the audience

01:16:46.536 --> 01:16:49.069
that this is the perfect place
to buy a house,

01:16:49.071 --> 01:16:51.739
or none of you will be living
here much longer.

01:16:51.741 --> 01:16:53.408
- Do you hear me?
- Actually, Mom,

01:16:53.410 --> 01:16:55.142
everyone can hear you.

01:16:55.144 --> 01:16:57.311
You've been live
this whole time.

01:16:57.313 --> 01:17:00.782
Three million people
are watching you right now.

01:17:00.784 --> 01:17:02.784
The real you, for a change.

01:17:02.786 --> 01:17:05.319
Please, what do I care what
a bunch of bloggers think?

01:17:05.321 --> 01:17:06.421
GLENN: Margaux?

01:17:06.423 --> 01:17:07.489
(YELLS) What?

01:17:07.491 --> 01:17:09.157
It's the network.

01:17:09.159 --> 01:17:11.292
They're taking your show
off the air.

01:17:11.294 --> 01:17:12.459
What?

01:17:12.461 --> 01:17:14.895
No. I'll be...
I'll be bankrupt.

01:17:14.897 --> 01:17:16.330
Who will buy all these houses?

01:17:16.332 --> 01:17:19.266
Okay, watch this.
Now's my chance.

01:17:19.268 --> 01:17:23.070
Excuse me, (CLEARS THROAT)
I just tooted.

01:17:23.072 --> 01:17:25.073
Furthermore,
I think I can help you

01:17:25.075 --> 01:17:26.608
get rid of those houses.

01:17:26.610 --> 01:17:28.676
- What are you talking about?
- Well, my dear,

01:17:28.678 --> 01:17:31.578
you've got a bunch of houses
you need to get rid of,

01:17:31.580 --> 01:17:34.183
and I've got a bunch of family
I need to get rid of.

01:17:34.852 --> 01:17:36.316
WOMAN: Hello?

01:17:36.318 --> 01:17:39.087
Excuse me. I'm Trudy.

01:17:39.089 --> 01:17:43.158
Trudy Pickering. We...
We never officially met...

01:17:43.160 --> 01:17:45.592
Ah, yes. The toilet woman.

01:17:45.594 --> 01:17:46.793
Right.

01:17:46.795 --> 01:17:51.632
Listen, uh, please, give us
a chance to make it right.

01:17:51.634 --> 01:17:55.304
Let us have
our own design intervention.

01:17:56.305 --> 01:17:57.372
WEDNESDAY: Mother,

01:17:57.374 --> 01:17:59.840
I spent time
with these people,

01:17:59.842 --> 01:18:03.810
and it is true, they are odd.

01:18:03.812 --> 01:18:05.512
But we shouldn't judge them

01:18:05.514 --> 01:18:07.516
just because
they're different.

01:18:07.518 --> 01:18:09.115
(SOFT MURMURING)

01:18:09.117 --> 01:18:10.819
(HUMMING)

01:18:10.821 --> 01:18:12.456
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

01:18:18.527 --> 01:18:19.696
(CHUCKLES)

01:18:21.999 --> 01:18:23.400
(BOTH EXCLAIM)

01:18:23.834 --> 01:18:25.402
(WOMAN EXCLAIMS)

01:18:30.307 --> 01:18:31.838
- Have a wonderful day!
- ONION: Whoo-hoo.

01:18:31.840 --> 01:18:32.907
MALE ADDAMS:
And there you are.

01:18:32.909 --> 01:18:34.143
- Bye-bye.
- WOMAN: Thanks! Bye!

01:18:39.883 --> 01:18:41.516
Well, hello there!

01:18:41.518 --> 01:18:44.319
Howdy, neighbor.
How's the new house?

01:18:44.321 --> 01:18:48.021
Oh, I love it. I hope
you brought your umbrellas.

01:18:48.023 --> 01:18:51.859
Oh, you put in a typhoon.
What a great idea.

01:18:51.861 --> 01:18:53.761
Don't forget
the gift basket, silly.

01:18:53.763 --> 01:18:55.163
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:18:55.165 --> 01:18:57.565
We got scented
embalming fluid,

01:18:57.567 --> 01:19:00.334
toes, teeth, a fruitcake,

01:19:00.336 --> 01:19:03.038
rat bait,
got some dried apricots...

01:19:03.040 --> 01:19:04.271
(CHUCKLES)

01:19:04.273 --> 01:19:07.208
He's like training a puppy,
adorable but tiresome.

01:19:07.210 --> 01:19:09.211
She's the woman of my dreams!

01:19:09.213 --> 01:19:11.878
Her breath is like
a baby's diaper.

01:19:11.880 --> 01:19:14.282
(GIGGLES) Fester, stop!

01:19:14.284 --> 01:19:17.752
Who would have thought
a guy like me, a total zero,

01:19:17.754 --> 01:19:21.021
would have ended up with you,
an also zero?

01:19:21.023 --> 01:19:22.959
Well, do come in!

01:19:25.795 --> 01:19:29.129
SLOOM: Now, with
the house rebuilt, Pugsley,

01:19:29.131 --> 01:19:33.402
we can throw you
the celebration you deserve!

01:19:34.237 --> 01:19:38.075
You are Addams
through and through.

01:19:39.442 --> 01:19:41.278
(ALL APPLAUDING AND CHEERING)

01:19:55.924 --> 01:19:59.896
SPIRIT OF THE HOUSE: <i>Get out!</i>

01:20:00.897 --> 01:20:03.564
Oh, how lovely.
The spirit's home.

01:20:03.566 --> 01:20:06.769
Finally, back to normal.

01:20:07.970 --> 01:20:09.740
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

01:20:12.808 --> 01:20:14.141
We did good.

01:20:14.143 --> 01:20:16.079
I won't tell anyone
if you don't.

01:20:18.348 --> 01:20:19.917
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

01:20:21.351 --> 01:20:23.353
<i>(ADDAMS FAMILY THEME</i> PLAYING)

01:20:27.957 --> 01:20:28.959
(RHYTHMIC SNAPPING)

01:20:35.365 --> 01:20:37.431
(MAN SINGING)

01:20:37.433 --> 01:20:39.367
<i>They're creepy
And they're kooky</i>

01:20:39.369 --> 01:20:41.368
<i>Mysterious and spooky</i>

01:20:41.370 --> 01:20:43.370
<i>They're altogether ooky</i>

01:20:43.372 --> 01:20:44.842
<i>The Addams family</i>

01:20:45.441 --> 01:20:47.342
<i>There house is a museum</i>

01:20:47.344 --> 01:20:49.343
<i>Where people come
to see 'em</i>

01:20:49.345 --> 01:20:51.346
<i>They really are a scream</i>

01:20:51.348 --> 01:20:52.783
<i>The Addams family</i>

01:20:53.950 --> 01:20:54.952
- (FINGERS SNAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)
- MAN: <i>Neat.</i>

01:20:55.985 --> 01:20:56.987
- (FINGERS SNAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)
- <i>Sweet.</i>

01:20:59.856 --> 01:21:01.221
- (FINGERS SNAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)
- <i>Petite.</i>

01:21:01.223 --> 01:21:03.190
<i>So get a witch's shawl on</i>

01:21:03.192 --> 01:21:05.193
<i>A broomstick
You can crawl on</i>

01:21:05.195 --> 01:21:07.194
<i>We're gonna pay a call on</i>

01:21:07.196 --> 01:21:09.832
<i>The Addams family</i>

01:21:10.700 --> 01:21:11.865
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

01:21:11.867 --> 01:21:32.300
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.:: @bollbolljan_com ::.

01:21:32.988 --> 01:21:34.221
<i>A'ight, this a party</i>

01:21:34.223 --> 01:21:36.556
<i>Let's not make a problem
No!</i>

01:21:36.558 --> 01:21:40.095
<i>Why you looking at me like
there's something, tell me</i>

01:21:40.097 --> 01:21:42.997
<i>You should know it's not just
me that you'll be rubbing</i>

01:21:42.999 --> 01:21:45.669
ROCK MAFIA: <i>The wrong way,
so you better think twice</i>

01:21:47.036 --> 01:21:50.404
<i>You shouldn't mess with me
You don't want to mess with me</i>

01:21:50.406 --> 01:21:53.874
<i>'Cause if you mess with me
You're messing with my family</i>

01:21:53.876 --> 01:21:55.275
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

01:21:55.277 --> 01:21:56.610
ROCK MAFIA AND KAROL G:
<i>You don't want to mess with me</i>

01:21:56.612 --> 01:21:57.744
MIGOS: <i>No!</i>

01:21:57.746 --> 01:21:58.946
ROCK MAFIA AND KAROL G:
<i>'Cause if you mess with me</i>

01:21:58.948 --> 01:22:00.782
<i>You're messing with my family</i>

01:22:00.784 --> 01:22:04.084
<i>Ay, ay, ay, ay</i>

01:22:04.086 --> 01:22:07.523
ROCK MAFIA: <i>You might think
that we are all loco</i>

01:22:08.223 --> 01:22:09.891
<i>Ay, ay, ay</i>

01:22:09.893 --> 01:22:11.258
MIGOS: <i>Don't mess
with my family</i>

01:22:11.260 --> 01:22:14.261
ROCK MAFIA: <i>But this family
about to go global</i>

01:22:14.263 --> 01:22:15.431
MIGOS: <i>We blowin' up!</i>

01:22:17.700 --> 01:22:18.802
ROCK MAFIA: <i>Yeah, yeah</i>

01:22:19.568 --> 01:22:20.700
<i>Yeah, yeah</i>

01:22:20.702 --> 01:22:22.438
(KAROL G SINGING IN SPANISH)

01:22:35.585 --> 01:22:36.751
MIGOS: (IN ENGLISH)
<i>Don't mess with my family</i>

01:22:36.753 --> 01:22:39.386
<i>A'ight, this a party
Let's not make a problem</i>

01:22:39.388 --> 01:22:40.587
<i>No!</i>

01:22:40.589 --> 01:22:43.123
<i>Why you looking at me like
there's something, tell me</i>

01:22:43.125 --> 01:22:46.260
<i>You should know it's not just
me that you'll be rubbing</i>

01:22:46.262 --> 01:22:47.427
ROCK MAFIA AND KAROL G:
<i>The wrong way</i>

01:22:47.429 --> 01:22:48.965
<i>So you better think twice</i>

01:22:50.500 --> 01:22:52.132
ROCK MAFIA:
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

01:22:52.134 --> 01:22:53.967
ROCK MAFIA AND KAROL G:
<i>You don't wanna mess with me</i>

01:22:53.969 --> 01:22:55.403
ROCK MAFIA:
<i>'Cause if you mess with me</i>

01:22:55.405 --> 01:22:57.571
<i>You're messing with my family</i>

01:22:57.573 --> 01:22:59.106
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

01:22:59.108 --> 01:23:01.108
ROCK MAFIA AND KAROL G:
<i>You don't wanna mess with me</i>

01:23:01.110 --> 01:23:04.481
<i>'Cause if you mess with me,
you're messing with my family</i>

01:23:07.015 --> 01:23:08.250
ROCK MAFIA: <i>Yeah, yeah, yeah</i>

01:23:09.486 --> 01:23:11.455
ROCK MAFIA AND KAROL G:
<i>You're messing with my family</i>

01:23:13.689 --> 01:23:15.491
KAROL G: <i>Yeah</i>
ROCK MAFIA: <i>Yeah, yeah, yeah</i>

01:23:17.027 --> 01:23:18.124
MIGOS: <i>Don't mess
with my family</i>

01:23:18.126 --> 01:23:19.193
<i>No!</i>

01:23:19.195 --> 01:23:21.695
ROCK MAFIA AND KAROL G:
<i>Ay, ay, ay, ay</i>

01:23:21.697 --> 01:23:22.864
ROCK MAFIA AND KAROL G:
<i>You might think</i>

01:23:22.866 --> 01:23:25.135
<i>That we are all loco</i>

01:23:25.934 --> 01:23:28.935
<i>Ay, ay, ay</i>

01:23:28.937 --> 01:23:30.104
<i>But this family</i>

01:23:30.106 --> 01:23:31.872
<i>About to go global</i>

01:23:31.874 --> 01:23:32.972
(MUSIC TEMPO INCREASES)

01:23:32.974 --> 01:23:34.675
MIGOS: <i>They say that we mean
Mean</i>

01:23:34.677 --> 01:23:36.510
<i>They say that we rude
Rude</i>

01:23:36.512 --> 01:23:38.311
<i>They say we got problems
Problems</i>

01:23:38.313 --> 01:23:40.148
<i>But we say it's cool</i>

01:23:40.150 --> 01:23:41.515
<i>Family, family</i>

01:23:41.517 --> 01:23:43.717
<i>I'd go to war for my family</i>

01:23:43.719 --> 01:23:46.854
<i>Ups and downs
Wrong or right, it's family</i>

01:23:46.856 --> 01:23:50.158
ROCK MAFIA AND KAROL G:
<i>Ay, ay, ay, ay</i>

01:23:50.160 --> 01:23:52.526
<i>You might think
that we are all loco</i>

01:23:52.528 --> 01:23:54.194
MIGOS: <i>Don't mess
with my family</i>

01:23:54.196 --> 01:23:57.131
ROCK MAFIA AND KAROL G:
<i>Ay, ay, ay,</i>

01:23:57.133 --> 01:24:00.333
<i>But this family
is about to go global</i>

01:24:00.335 --> 01:24:01.504
(SONG ENDS)

01:24:02.205 --> 01:24:04.241
(SPOOKY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

01:24:09.045 --> 01:24:10.310
CHRISTINA AGUILERA: (SINGING)
<i>There's no bell</i>

01:24:10.312 --> 01:24:12.048
<i>When you call for me</i>

01:24:13.214 --> 01:24:17.316
<i>You'll be falling for miles</i>

01:24:17.318 --> 01:24:21.154
<i>I'm bewitched by your misery</i>

01:24:21.156 --> 01:24:25.693
(CHUCKLES)
<i>But I love it when you smile</i>

01:24:25.695 --> 01:24:28.598
<i>Let me know
what you want from me</i>

01:24:29.932 --> 01:24:33.601
<i>Whisper "love" in my ears</i>

01:24:33.603 --> 01:24:36.673
<i>Before you try
to get your hooks in me</i>

01:24:38.441 --> 01:24:42.575
<i>I should warn you, my dear</i>

01:24:42.577 --> 01:24:46.079
<i>My heart is a haunted house</i>

01:24:46.081 --> 01:24:50.284
<i>Once you're in,
you ain't getting out</i>

01:24:50.286 --> 01:24:54.120
<i>It's the trap
you've been waiting for</i>

01:24:54.122 --> 01:24:57.891
<i>Ain't no windows,
ain't no doors</i>

01:24:57.893 --> 01:25:01.031
<i>No escaping the way you feel</i>

01:25:02.464 --> 01:25:06.033
<i>It's like a dream,
but you hope it's real</i>

01:25:06.035 --> 01:25:08.638
<i>My, my, my heart</i>

01:25:09.772 --> 01:25:13.940
<i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>

01:25:13.942 --> 01:25:15.478
CHOIR: <i>Haunted house</i>

01:25:21.317 --> 01:25:25.285
CHRISTINA AGUILERA: <i>Watch
yourself when you walk to me</i>

01:25:25.287 --> 01:25:29.155
<i>Careful where
your heart treads</i>

01:25:29.157 --> 01:25:32.628
<i>Suddenly,
you'll be in too deep</i>

01:25:34.263 --> 01:25:37.765
<i>You'll be caught up in my web</i>

01:25:37.767 --> 01:25:40.137
<i>You will think
of me constantly</i>

01:25:41.637 --> 01:25:44.407
<i>And it will drive you insane</i>

01:25:45.474 --> 01:25:48.812
<i>Like the tattoo
you can't remove</i>

01:25:50.146 --> 01:25:54.648
<i>Like the blood in your veins</i>

01:25:54.650 --> 01:25:58.252
<i>My heart is a haunted house</i>

01:25:58.254 --> 01:26:02.422
<i>Once you're in,
you ain't getting out</i>

01:26:02.424 --> 01:26:06.360
<i>It's the trap
you've been waiting for</i>

01:26:06.362 --> 01:26:09.629
<i>Ain't no windows,
ain't no doors</i>

01:26:09.631 --> 01:26:12.768
<i>There's no escaping
the way you feel</i>

01:26:14.437 --> 01:26:18.105
<i>It's like a dream,
but you hope it's real</i>

01:26:18.107 --> 01:26:20.010
<i>My, my, my heart</i>

01:26:21.811 --> 01:26:27.550
- <i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>
- CHOIR: <i>Haunted house</i>

01:26:30.186 --> 01:26:33.421
CHRISTINA AGUILERA: <i>Yeah</i>

01:26:33.423 --> 01:26:36.726
- <i>It's a haunted house</i>
- CHOIR: <i>Haunted house</i>