WEBVTT 00:00:00.091 --> 00:00:12.091 ..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::.. ‏.:: www.bolboljan.net ::. 00:00:15.015 --> 00:00:17.848 Good evening, I welcome you fo the third and final 00:00:17.935 --> 00:00:19.926 of the 2016 presidential debates. 00:00:20.020 --> 00:00:21.498 We either have a country, or we don't. 00:00:21.522 --> 00:00:23.500 Rounding up people who are undocumented... 00:00:23.524 --> 00:00:25.060 We have some bad hombres here. 00:00:25.150 --> 00:00:26.503 Is an idea that is not in keeping 00:00:26.527 --> 00:00:28.796 - with who we are as a nation. - / tell it like it is. 00:00:28.820 --> 00:00:31.152 I'm happy fo compare my 30 years of experience... 00:00:31.240 --> 00:00:33.676 7he one thing you have over me is experience, but it's bad experience. 00:00:33.700 --> 00:00:37.488 We are going to make America great again and it has fo start now. 00:00:37.579 --> 00:00:40.912 I hope you will give me a chance fo serve as your president. 00:00:41.625 --> 00:00:44.105 Donald Trump fold the American people the truth tonight 00:00:44.169 --> 00:00:45.500 as he always does. 00:00:45.587 --> 00:00:48.124 Hillary Clinton is the real outsider. 00:00:48.215 --> 00:00:50.251 Look, whatever you think you saw tonight... 00:00:50.342 --> 00:00:53.709 You didn't. You actually saw what I saw, and I think that the American people... 00:00:53.804 --> 00:00:56.762 - Would agree with me. - As long as I say it repeatedly, doggedly. 00:00:56.848 --> 00:00:59.055 And with unearned confidence. 00:00:59.601 --> 00:01:00.716 I lie. 00:01:01.311 --> 00:01:02.676 I am lying to you. 00:01:02.771 --> 00:01:05.478 And you know I lie. I'm actually in this position 00:01:05.566 --> 00:01:08.558 because of how effectively I lie to you. Are we clear? 00:01:08.652 --> 00:01:10.938 We call this the spin room, without shame. 00:01:11.029 --> 00:01:13.941 Spinning is something you do to disorient people. 00:01:14.032 --> 00:01:16.444 And you all know that and yet, here we are. 00:01:16.535 --> 00:01:18.321 What a wonderful play we're putting on. 00:01:18.412 --> 00:01:21.620 Thank you all so much. And fuck you, America. 00:01:21.707 --> 00:01:23.393 I look forward to lying to you in the future. 00:01:23.417 --> 00:01:24.623 See you at the bar. 00:01:24.710 --> 00:01:26.621 Thank you. 00:01:45.981 --> 00:01:47.562 Shock waves across America. 00:01:47.649 --> 00:01:50.015 The surprise victory defied preelection polling. 00:01:50.110 --> 00:01:53.318 Tectonic plates shifting, 9.5 on the Richter scale earthquake. 00:01:53.405 --> 00:01:56.217 So thats just a snapshot of the reaction we're getting this morning. 00:01:56.241 --> 00:01:59.904 We're still trying fo get our good old pal Gary zimmer fo talk fo us. 00:01:59.995 --> 00:02:01.835 He's probably halfway to Canada by now. 00:02:01.872 --> 00:02:03.783 Yeah, maybe halfway lo Canadian club. 00:02:03.874 --> 00:02:06.365 /'d love to ask this guy what the hell he was thinking. 00:02:06.460 --> 00:02:08.746 How did they blow this election? 00:02:08.837 --> 00:02:11.670 Hey, guys, did you find the clip? You got it? Okay. 00:02:11.757 --> 00:02:13.418 This is our good friend Gary zimmer, 00:02:13.508 --> 00:02:16.215 grand old consigliere of the clinfon campaign, 00:02:16.303 --> 00:02:19.261 not even a week ago on this program. 00:02:20.349 --> 00:02:22.229 - So you're confident? - Oh, no question. 00:02:22.309 --> 00:02:23.515 Hillary's made her case. 00:02:23.602 --> 00:02:26.765 She is the most qualified presidential candidate, 00:02:26.855 --> 00:02:28.561 certainly in my lifetime... maybe ever. 00:02:28.649 --> 00:02:30.560 Donald Trump will not be president. 00:02:30.651 --> 00:02:32.767 Well, he is doing well in the south. 00:02:32.861 --> 00:02:35.568 So maybe he can be President of the confederacy. 00:02:35.656 --> 00:02:37.647 But Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania... 00:02:37.741 --> 00:02:39.481 Mika, he's not winning Pennsylvania, 00:02:39.576 --> 00:02:40.691 he's not winning Michigan. 00:02:40.786 --> 00:02:43.994 That rust belt blue wall is impenetrable. If holds. 00:02:44.081 --> 00:02:45.571 “/ guarantee.” 00:02:45.666 --> 00:02:48.954 Well, you decided fo spend almost no time there campaigning. 00:02:49.044 --> 00:02:51.606 Was that a carville impression? All right, so wait a minute. 00:02:51.630 --> 00:02:53.871 - Tommy, try Gary again. - Google, off. 00:02:53.965 --> 00:02:56.547 - We have faith Brewster on the line. - Hey, Google, off. 00:02:56.635 --> 00:02:59.377 Sorry, power controls is not yet supported. 00:02:59.471 --> 00:03:00.756 Phone lady, decline. 00:03:00.847 --> 00:03:02.767 - Try asking again in a different way. - Hang up. 00:03:02.808 --> 00:03:05.015 Hey, Google, tell phone lady to hang up. 00:03:05.102 --> 00:03:06.871 Sorry, I'm not sure how fo help with that yet. 00:03:06.895 --> 00:03:09.887 - Off, off! Hey, Google, disengage! - Sorry, I'm still not sure about that. 00:03:09.981 --> 00:03:12.543 - Songs aren't available on siriusxm. - Abort! Everybody, shut up! 00:03:12.567 --> 00:03:14.774 Try asking again in a different way. 00:03:33.755 --> 00:03:38.624 J» you always won every time you placed a bet 00:03:41.722 --> 00:03:44.555 j» you're still damn good 00:03:44.641 --> 00:03:46.882 j' no one's gotten to you yet » 00:03:50.188 --> 00:03:55.057 j» every time they were sure they had you caught » 00:03:56.486 --> 00:03:59.193 j» you were quicker than they thought 00:04:00.657 --> 00:04:04.320 j» you'd just turn your back and walk » 00:04:05.412 --> 00:04:08.028 j» and your're still the same j» 00:04:08.749 --> 00:04:13.584 - » [ Caught up with you yesteraay » - Still the same, still the same » 00:04:13.670 --> 00:04:15.786 j» moving game to game j» 00:04:17.215 --> 00:04:20.582 j» no one standing in your way » 00:04:21.845 --> 00:04:24.803 j» turning on the charm » 00:04:25.515 --> 00:04:30.430 - »» long enough to get you by » - Still the same, still the same j» 00:04:30.520 --> 00:04:33.387 d> you're still the same » 00:04:34.524 --> 00:04:40.064 j» you still aim high » 00:04:44.367 --> 00:04:47.859 > still the same, still the same j» 00:05:20.070 --> 00:05:24.734 J» there's been a load of compromisin'» 00:05:24.825 --> 00:05:28.409 j» on the road to my horizon » 00:05:29.162 --> 00:05:30.618 j» but I'm gonna be » 00:05:30.705 --> 00:05:35.290 > where the lights are shinin' on me » 00:05:36.294 --> 00:05:39.707 j like a rhinestone cowboy j» 00:05:41.550 --> 00:05:47.090 j riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo » 00:05:48.890 --> 00:05:52.382 j like a rhinestone cowboy j» 00:05:53.812 --> 00:05:59.682 j» getting cards and letters from people I don't even know » 00:06:00.861 --> 00:06:05.104 j» and offers comin' over the phone » 00:06:15.458 --> 00:06:19.451 Can I get a motion fo vote on resolution 1217, requiring 00:06:19.546 --> 00:06:24.131 a valid Wisconsin driver's license or proof of us citizenship 00:06:24.217 --> 00:06:28.335 to qualify for any state or municipality program or benefit 00:06:28.430 --> 00:06:32.423 such as food stamps, welfare, and so on and so forth. 00:06:32.517 --> 00:06:33.882 - So moved. - Second. 00:06:33.977 --> 00:06:35.763 - Second. - I have a second. It's time... 00:06:35.854 --> 00:06:37.734 - Excuse me, fellas. - Jack, I already told you. 00:06:37.772 --> 00:06:40.229 You can widen the easement on Hamburg, just leave enough... 00:06:40.317 --> 00:06:44.481 Actually, it's about that resolution you're thinking about passing. 00:06:44.571 --> 00:06:47.233 With all due respect, colonel, that discussion has ended. 00:06:47.324 --> 00:06:50.361 Yeah. Yeah, so I heard. But, uh... 00:06:50.994 --> 00:06:54.862 The thing is that, um... it's a bad idea. 00:06:56.333 --> 00:06:58.619 - You can't... - Okay, well, I already seconded it. 00:06:58.710 --> 00:07:01.372 - But, whatever. - I know we're in a bad spot, but... 00:07:01.463 --> 00:07:04.955 You can't bring it back by throwing these people under the bus. 00:07:05.050 --> 00:07:07.632 We're not throwing anybody under anything, Jack. 00:07:08.929 --> 00:07:11.671 Money was tight when the base was still open, but now... 00:07:12.933 --> 00:07:16.266 I mean, we just gotta be smart. We got to eliminate cheating the programs. 00:07:16.353 --> 00:07:18.719 There's not a damn soul using those programs 00:07:18.813 --> 00:07:20.333 that doesn't need 'em and you know it. 00:07:20.357 --> 00:07:24.441 And all they need to do is produce the acceptable ID and the benefits will... 00:07:24.527 --> 00:07:29.112 - And you know they can't do that. - Well... I don't make the rules, Jack. 00:07:31.117 --> 00:07:36.111 I mean, I do... I guess. Not by myself. But this is over. 00:07:37.290 --> 00:07:38.405 Yeah. 00:07:39.125 --> 00:07:41.832 Okay, we have a motion that has been seconded. 00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:44.957 - It is time to bring it to a vote. - Uh, you know, just curious. 00:07:45.465 --> 00:07:47.581 You know when the river backed up, 00:07:47.676 --> 00:07:51.715 and the folks you think might be cheating stood shoulder to shoulder with us, 00:07:51.805 --> 00:07:56.890 stuffing sandbags for three days straight, ended up saving your store... 00:07:57.352 --> 00:07:59.968 - You check their ids then? - Discussion's closed, Jack. 00:08:00.063 --> 00:08:03.271 You checking ids when they're bringing food to the church potlucks? 00:08:03.358 --> 00:08:04.643 Walt? 00:08:05.568 --> 00:08:08.105 Enough, Jack. You had your say. 00:08:12.158 --> 00:08:15.650 Look, we got rules here, but that don't make us bad people. 00:08:15.745 --> 00:08:19.533 I'm not saying you're a bad person, Billy. I'm saying you're scared. 00:08:20.583 --> 00:08:22.414 Hell, we all are. 00:08:23.253 --> 00:08:27.121 Damn town went from 15,000 to five overnight, 00:08:27.215 --> 00:08:29.001 and business went with it. 00:08:29.426 --> 00:08:32.668 We're not bringing it back by turning on each other. 00:08:34.055 --> 00:08:37.673 Corps taught me the chain's only as strong as its weakest link. 00:08:37.767 --> 00:08:43.854 And father heuvel here taught me that I am my brother's keeper. 00:08:43.940 --> 00:08:47.603 - Go back to that "weak link" part. - Yeah, okay. Yeah. 00:08:48.194 --> 00:08:50.401 I mean, could this guy work? 00:08:50.488 --> 00:08:53.571 Corps taught me the chain's only as strong as its weakest link. 00:08:54.576 --> 00:08:56.658 - Hmm. Pretty good. - Mm-hmm. 00:08:56.745 --> 00:08:59.987 Father heuvel here taught me that I am my brother's keeper. 00:09:00.081 --> 00:09:03.073 Whatever you do for the least of us, you do for the lord. 00:09:03.168 --> 00:09:05.910 Looks conservative, sounds progressive. 00:09:06.004 --> 00:09:07.335 The point is... 00:09:08.298 --> 00:09:11.165 It's easy fo be strong of character in the good times. 00:09:12.385 --> 00:09:14.797 The fest is the bad times. 00:09:14.888 --> 00:09:17.550 If you can't live your principles then, well, 00:09:17.640 --> 00:09:20.848 I guess they aren't principles, they're just hobbies. 00:09:22.771 --> 00:09:26.138 Where is this again? Wisconsin. Deerlaken. 00:09:27.192 --> 00:09:29.103 - Deerlaken. - Mm-hmm. 00:09:29.194 --> 00:09:30.900 Gentlemen, 00:09:30.987 --> 00:09:33.854 this square-jawed paragon of americana 00:09:33.948 --> 00:09:37.156 is our goddamn key back in the forbidden city. 00:09:37.243 --> 00:09:39.655 - Well, that's my stop. - Sit. Kurt, sit. 00:09:39.746 --> 00:09:42.658 - Call me when he gets here. - Nope, you're not going anywhere. No, sit. 00:09:42.749 --> 00:09:45.866 And we have Alan to thank for bringing this man to our attention. 00:09:45.960 --> 00:09:47.040 It's Evan. 00:09:47.128 --> 00:09:50.040 Did I happen to mention that he is a veteran of the us marine corps? 00:09:50.131 --> 00:09:52.042 - Yes. - And a farmer? 00:09:52.717 --> 00:09:54.878 And did I happen to mention that he's a widower. 00:09:54.969 --> 00:09:56.084 Impressive. 00:09:56.179 --> 00:09:58.795 A man who makes Joe the plumber look like dukakis in mom jeans 00:09:58.890 --> 00:10:00.676 and a fucking easter bonnet 00:10:00.767 --> 00:10:07.104 in the reddest of counties in the great now-swing state of Wisconsin is... 00:10:08.733 --> 00:10:10.269 A democrat. 00:10:10.360 --> 00:10:11.975 He's a democrat? 00:10:12.070 --> 00:10:14.937 Yeah. He just doesn't know it yet. 00:10:15.907 --> 00:10:18.694 Here's the idea. I get on a plane and I go to Wisconsin 00:10:18.785 --> 00:10:23.199 and I use this guy to road-test a more rural-friendly message. 00:10:23.289 --> 00:10:26.531 It's a mayoral race in the middle of nowhere. 00:10:26.626 --> 00:10:27.866 I don't get how this helps us. 00:10:27.961 --> 00:10:30.293 There are two million rural votes in these states alone. 00:10:30.380 --> 00:10:33.042 If we lost them 2.7 to 1 instead of 3to 1, 00:10:33.133 --> 00:10:35.340 we win, but we didn't even try. 00:10:35.426 --> 00:10:36.916 Their base turned out, ours didn't. 00:10:37.011 --> 00:10:39.878 If we find a candidate to activate our base, 00:10:39.973 --> 00:10:42.965 if our African-Americans... 00:10:43.059 --> 00:10:44.829 And latino communities... 00:10:44.853 --> 00:10:47.515 - It's just latino. - Show up, we win. 00:10:47.605 --> 00:10:51.018 We have to get the rural voters back into the tent. Even just a little bit. 00:10:51.109 --> 00:10:53.851 Well, if it's all the same to you, I'll stick with pandering 00:10:53.945 --> 00:10:56.436 to our special-interest groups. 00:10:56.531 --> 00:10:58.146 Thank you very much. 00:10:58.241 --> 00:11:02.484 S/, se puede. Si, se puede. 00:11:02.579 --> 00:11:04.911 I like the idea of expanding our base. 00:11:05.874 --> 00:11:07.865 Not taking any voter for granted. 00:11:09.419 --> 00:11:10.955 It does have some merit. 00:11:15.550 --> 00:11:17.820 Okay, so we'll make sure a car comes here and picks you up. 00:11:17.844 --> 00:11:19.926 - And we'll make sure the driver is frank. - Okay. 00:11:20.013 --> 00:11:22.575 It's a two-hour flight, but you'll gain an hour when you get there. 00:11:22.599 --> 00:11:25.682 - What is that? - The 7 series. 00:11:25.768 --> 00:11:27.759 It was the closest thing they had to your Tesla. 00:11:27.854 --> 00:11:29.185 Just take a sharpie and write 00:11:29.272 --> 00:11:31.183 "liberal city douchebag" on my forehead, okay? 00:11:31.274 --> 00:11:32.639 Come on, guys. “Yup. 00:11:32.734 --> 00:11:34.190 Um, accord? 00:11:34.277 --> 00:11:37.440 I'm traveling to America. Explorer, neutral color. 00:11:37.530 --> 00:11:40.237 - And pack me like a conference. - Davos? Ted? 00:11:40.325 --> 00:11:42.611 - Aspen, weekend package. - Great. 00:11:42.702 --> 00:11:46.069 Thank you. Oh, and, guys. You know what? Keep it simple. 00:11:46.497 --> 00:11:48.158 - Simple, no frills. Thank you. - Got it. 00:11:48.249 --> 00:11:49.614 - Sure. - Great. 00:11:50.501 --> 00:11:54.665 Although if the explorer has a bose or a bang & olufsen sound package, 00:11:54.756 --> 00:11:56.166 if they have it, it'd be good. 00:11:56.257 --> 00:11:57.588 - Great. - Gotcha. 00:11:58.593 --> 00:12:02.302 - Did they say anything about catering? - Not yet. 00:12:02.388 --> 00:12:04.549 Those little mozzarella balls are great. Yeah. 00:12:04.641 --> 00:12:08.008 - Caprese salad. Something light. Balsamic. - Balsamic, all that jazz. 00:12:08.102 --> 00:12:09.433 Cool. 00:12:13.650 --> 00:12:15.811 - Nothing. - Cool. 00:12:15.902 --> 00:12:18.234 That's fun. 00:12:25.495 --> 00:12:27.281 - Here you go, Mr. zimmer. - Oh, thank you. 00:12:27.372 --> 00:12:31.115 7railing by three points with time running out, 00:12:31.209 --> 00:12:37.205 the packers roll 68 yards across the frozen field and into legend. 00:12:42.470 --> 00:12:44.335 With only three minutes to play, 00:12:44.806 --> 00:12:47.718 all the hopes and dreams of an entire season 00:12:47.809 --> 00:12:49.891 rested on the shoulders of one man. 00:12:49.978 --> 00:12:53.766 J like a rhinestone cowboy » 00:12:55.566 --> 00:13:01.436 j riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo » 00:13:03.116 --> 00:13:06.324 this is fresh air. I'm Terry gross. 00:13:06.411 --> 00:13:08.447 Richard Rodgers and Oscar hammerstein 00:13:08.538 --> 00:13:12.247 had one of the most successful musical partnerships of the 20th century. 00:13:13.001 --> 00:13:17.335 But / also think it's a canard that hammerstein can't write funny songs. 00:13:17.422 --> 00:13:20.004 She's got a beautiful voice, so let's hear her singing 00:13:20.091 --> 00:13:21.797 "everybody's got a home but me." 00:13:21.884 --> 00:13:25.547 Will you set the scene for us about where this song fits into the show? 00:13:26.097 --> 00:13:28.930 Well, this young prostitute has just arrived in monterey. 00:13:36.899 --> 00:13:37.934 Hello. 00:13:39.152 --> 00:13:40.688 - Evening. - Hey. 00:13:40.778 --> 00:13:44.396 - What can I get ya? - How about a bud and a burger? 00:13:45.491 --> 00:13:48.779 That sounds good. Thank you so much. 00:13:48.870 --> 00:13:50.531 Sure thing. Coming up. 00:13:52.623 --> 00:13:54.079 Hey, Charlie. 00:13:57.337 --> 00:14:00.579 - Tough day? - A long day. Traveling. 00:14:00.673 --> 00:14:03.335 - Oh, yeah? Where from? - Washington, D.C. 00:14:03.426 --> 00:14:05.346 Man, I ain't been there since like a school trip. 00:14:05.428 --> 00:14:07.339 Can't even remember how many years ago that was. 00:14:07.430 --> 00:14:09.170 It was 29. Twenty-nine years. Was it? 00:14:09.265 --> 00:14:11.096 Twenty-nine years. Ms. heuvel's history class. 00:14:11.184 --> 00:14:12.995 - That's what it was. - Ms. heuvel's history class. 00:14:13.019 --> 00:14:14.830 Security guards chased us out of the space museum. 00:14:14.854 --> 00:14:16.814 Well, we beat the dog shit out of the little kids. 00:14:17.815 --> 00:14:21.228 Well, you guys aren't missing anything. It is a nightmare down there. 00:14:21.319 --> 00:14:23.401 - Oh, yeah. - No argument there. 00:14:23.488 --> 00:14:25.069 Yeah. You can say that again. 00:14:25.865 --> 00:14:27.480 - Mike staadt. - Hey. 00:14:27.909 --> 00:14:29.524 We call him big Mike. Yeah. 00:14:29.619 --> 00:14:33.032 - People call me big Mike for some reason. - Well, it's because... to tell us apart. 00:14:33.122 --> 00:14:35.225 Because I'm... my name is Mike, too. But I'm little Mike. 00:14:35.249 --> 00:14:36.864 Hey. How are you? Gary. 00:14:36.959 --> 00:14:38.995 - Nice to meet you. - Gary. 00:14:39.087 --> 00:14:41.123 Gary from D.C. D.C. Gary. 00:14:41.547 --> 00:14:43.128 He likes to give everybody nicknames, 00:14:43.216 --> 00:14:45.819 so that's why he's giving you a nickname right now, which I don't think... 00:14:45.843 --> 00:14:48.505 - It shows friendship and affection. - Yeah, but he doesn't need... 00:14:48.596 --> 00:14:50.324 - If you don't like yours, I'll take... - No, I'm fine. 00:14:50.348 --> 00:14:53.340 - Well, I appreciate it, little Mike. - Okay, thank you, D.C. Gary. 00:14:53.434 --> 00:14:56.597 - Hey, this is our new friend, D.C. Gary. - Hey. How are you? 00:14:56.687 --> 00:14:58.894 - Dave. - My name is Gary and I'm from D.C., so... 00:14:58.981 --> 00:15:00.661 - That works. - Well, welcome to deerlaken. 00:15:00.733 --> 00:15:02.894 - Thank you. - Ever been to Wisconsin before? 00:15:02.985 --> 00:15:05.727 - I spent a fair amount of time in Madison. - So that's a no. 00:15:06.989 --> 00:15:08.320 That's not Wisconsin. 00:15:08.408 --> 00:15:10.427 Actually, I'm here to see Jack Hastings. Do you know him? 00:15:10.451 --> 00:15:13.238 - Oh, yeah. - Everybody knows Jack, the colonel. 00:15:13.329 --> 00:15:15.069 Great guy. YouTube star. 00:15:15.498 --> 00:15:18.114 We've got some rooms upstairs, if you need. 00:15:18.209 --> 00:15:20.245 - Sure, that sounds good. - Tonya. 00:15:20.336 --> 00:15:22.952 - Yeah, baby? - This gentleman here would like a room. 00:15:23.548 --> 00:15:25.709 Oh, sure. What do you need, hon? 00:15:25.800 --> 00:15:29.634 - Uh, anything. Any room is fine. - Okay. 00:15:29.720 --> 00:15:33.713 If you have something on a high floor with a king bed and a coffeemaker... 00:15:34.225 --> 00:15:36.807 - Okay, everything is on the second floor. - Perfect. 00:15:36.894 --> 00:15:39.374 - They're all pretty much the same. - That's perfect. I'm easy. 00:15:39.439 --> 00:15:41.555 - Anything is fine. - Take 206, it's the biggest. 00:15:41.649 --> 00:15:44.857 - They're all unlocked. - Okay. Thank you so much, Tonya. 00:15:46.737 --> 00:15:48.398 - Hey, so, D.C. Gary. - Yep? 00:15:48.489 --> 00:15:50.946 - You ever been to the white house? - I have. 00:15:51.033 --> 00:15:53.024 What's that like? What's that like? 00:15:53.119 --> 00:15:55.826 - It's a lot smaller than you think. - Really? 00:15:55.913 --> 00:15:58.308 'Cause I don't think we got by there on that student trip. 00:15:58.332 --> 00:16:01.119 - Must not have been built at that point. - Oh, that looks delicious. 00:16:01.210 --> 00:16:03.292 Thank you so much. Do you have a bottle opener? 00:16:03.379 --> 00:16:06.121 - That's a... no, that's just a twist. - Bud twist-off. 00:16:06.215 --> 00:16:08.046 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I know. 00:16:08.843 --> 00:16:11.155 - Maybe he does need a bottle opener. - Maybe use your vest. 00:16:11.179 --> 00:16:12.919 - Maybe European grip. - I got it. 00:16:13.014 --> 00:16:14.345 - There we go. - There we go. 00:16:14.432 --> 00:16:15.512 Cheers. 00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:17.010 - Hey. - Cheers. 00:16:17.101 --> 00:16:18.341 - Cheers. - Here's to you. 00:16:18.436 --> 00:16:21.769 - Cheers. - Budweiser. Mmm. 00:16:22.440 --> 00:16:23.520 Mmm. 00:16:24.025 --> 00:16:25.731 Mm-hmm. 00:16:29.113 --> 00:16:30.978 You gotta be kidding me. 00:16:37.538 --> 00:16:39.278 Okay. 00:16:41.459 --> 00:16:42.574 All right. 00:16:43.294 --> 00:16:46.377 All right! It's fine, it's fine. 00:16:46.464 --> 00:16:48.045 It's fine! 00:16:48.549 --> 00:16:49.664 All right. 00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:52.751 And it's... fucking locked. 00:16:52.845 --> 00:16:54.301 Goddamn it. 00:16:54.388 --> 00:16:56.253 Shit. 00:16:56.641 --> 00:16:58.882 Oh, fuck this. 00:16:59.894 --> 00:17:01.930 Oh, deerlaken. 00:17:02.897 --> 00:17:04.182 Love it. 00:17:12.990 --> 00:17:14.275 Okay. 00:17:16.244 --> 00:17:17.575 Everything all right? 00:17:18.621 --> 00:17:21.078 - Yes. Hello? - I/t's Dave. 00:17:21.165 --> 00:17:22.905 - Yes? - From hofbrau haus. 00:17:23.334 --> 00:17:25.199 Downstairs? Yes. 00:17:25.294 --> 00:17:27.831 - Oh. Okay. - Everything all right? 00:17:27.922 --> 00:17:30.755 Yeah, I was just looking for a Wi-Fi password. 00:17:31.384 --> 00:17:34.091 - Good luck. - Case-sensitive? 00:17:34.178 --> 00:17:36.385 No, good luck getting Wi-Fi. 00:17:36.806 --> 00:17:38.592 You're better off using your phone. 00:17:38.683 --> 00:17:40.674 - Oh, okay. - Okay. 00:17:40.768 --> 00:17:43.726 - All right, very good. Thank you. - Sure. 00:17:44.522 --> 00:17:46.558 - Goodbye. - Night, gar. 00:18:06.544 --> 00:18:07.875 Everything all right? 00:18:23.894 --> 00:18:25.680 Hey, D.C. Gary! 00:18:29.525 --> 00:18:30.560 Hey. 00:18:31.861 --> 00:18:33.351 Good morning, Gary. 00:18:40.578 --> 00:18:42.239 - Excuse me, Gary. - Hi, Gary. 00:18:47.627 --> 00:18:50.118 - Well, hello, Gary. - Hey. 00:18:50.212 --> 00:18:52.203 The Mikes told me that you're up from D.C. 00:18:52.298 --> 00:18:55.381 And I figured that you might be on the hunt for some good caffeine. 00:18:55.468 --> 00:18:56.674 Yes, um... 00:18:57.637 --> 00:19:00.424 - Sure. May I have a... - Coffee? 00:19:00.514 --> 00:19:02.675 - A coffee. - Cream, two sugars. 00:19:03.309 --> 00:19:05.049 Not how I like it, but, good. 00:19:05.144 --> 00:19:08.261 And if you don't mind, when you head up to Jack's, can you give him this? 00:19:08.689 --> 00:19:11.180 Jack, he gets a little cranky if he doesn't get his linzers. 00:19:12.568 --> 00:19:16.152 Oh, and I put a little streusel in there for you, too. 00:19:16.238 --> 00:19:18.103 Just made it. Still warm. 00:19:20.284 --> 00:19:23.993 - Mmm. Okay. - No, no, no. 00:19:24.080 --> 00:19:25.695 You're saving me a trip, so... 00:19:30.002 --> 00:19:32.914 - Um, okay. - Okay. 00:19:35.633 --> 00:19:38.750 - Bye, Gary. - Okay, bye! 00:19:39.261 --> 00:19:42.719 - Have a good one. - Thank you! You have a good one. 00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:45.681 Hey, guys, have a good one. 00:19:46.560 --> 00:19:48.050 Hey, lady, have a good one. 00:19:48.854 --> 00:19:51.015 All right. Is everybody having a good one? 00:19:51.524 --> 00:19:53.515 What the fuck? 00:20:04.787 --> 00:20:06.118 Oh, my god. 00:20:06.205 --> 00:20:08.241 Oh, fuck! 00:20:17.508 --> 00:20:20.341 Oh! Fuck me! 00:20:20.428 --> 00:20:21.884 Oh, god! 00:20:42.616 --> 00:20:43.696 Mmm. 00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:02.501 God! Aah! 00:21:05.639 --> 00:21:06.799 Oh, god! 00:21:07.767 --> 00:21:10.224 Sonny! Muffin! Stand down. 00:21:10.311 --> 00:21:12.051 Oh. Hey. 00:21:12.938 --> 00:21:14.974 You Ann's new delivery guy? 00:21:15.065 --> 00:21:18.683 I'm sorry. I'll go back and get you some more of those. 00:21:18.778 --> 00:21:22.191 No, it's fine. I'll probably end up giving them most of 'em anyway. 00:21:25.075 --> 00:21:27.942 Um, okay. Okay. 00:21:28.037 --> 00:21:30.278 That's an angry labradoodle. 00:21:31.123 --> 00:21:34.081 Oh. It's really beautiful out here. 00:21:35.211 --> 00:21:36.872 Really takes me back. 00:21:36.962 --> 00:21:38.748 Are you a farm boy? 00:21:38.839 --> 00:21:42.457 Uh, no. Political consultant. 00:21:44.929 --> 00:21:47.215 Well, sir, I saw your video on the Internet. 00:21:47.306 --> 00:21:48.512 The town hall you busted up. 00:21:48.599 --> 00:21:50.260 Um... 00:21:50.893 --> 00:21:54.226 Your comments on the responsibility to the least of us moved me deeply. 00:21:54.313 --> 00:21:56.520 - Grab a bucket. - And I'll grab a bucket. 00:21:56.941 --> 00:21:58.681 And here they come. Okay. 00:21:58.776 --> 00:22:03.270 I think, increasingly, we have lost the capacity to see each other. 00:22:04.615 --> 00:22:07.527 Empathy for those that we don't resemble. 00:22:07.618 --> 00:22:09.529 Not to say partisanship has no place, 00:22:09.620 --> 00:22:14.239 but certainly not at the level of toxicity that our current debate incorporates. 00:22:16.252 --> 00:22:19.836 "No man left behind" is your ethos as a marine. 00:22:19.922 --> 00:22:22.629 I think it's especially poignant in this day and age. 00:22:22.716 --> 00:22:26.755 Your words spoke to values, not identity. So important. 00:22:38.899 --> 00:22:40.389 Ohh. 00:22:46.323 --> 00:22:50.487 It was Abraham Lincoln who said, "an appeal to our better angels." 00:22:59.628 --> 00:23:02.119 You came out of there pretty fast. Did you wash? 00:23:17.938 --> 00:23:20.054 Okay. Here it is. 00:23:21.817 --> 00:23:26.151 I want you to be the Democratic candidate for mayor of deerlaken. 00:23:28.157 --> 00:23:30.517 Now, I know you probably don't think that you're a democrat, 00:23:30.576 --> 00:23:33.659 but after watching your speech, I can assure you that you are. 00:23:33.746 --> 00:23:37.364 And I would like to offer my company's services to help you do so. 00:23:44.840 --> 00:23:47.582 Well... I thank you. 00:23:47.676 --> 00:23:48.791 You're welcome. 00:23:49.511 --> 00:23:52.093 - No, thanks for the help today. - My pleasure. 00:23:52.181 --> 00:23:55.890 But all things being equal, 00:23:56.727 --> 00:23:58.217 I'd rather not. 00:24:01.649 --> 00:24:02.764 All right. 00:24:04.193 --> 00:24:07.902 Can I... be completely honest with you? No bullshit. 00:24:08.447 --> 00:24:10.938 Be nice. My daughter's here. 00:24:11.033 --> 00:24:14.651 That was your daughter? With her arm up the cow? 00:24:14.745 --> 00:24:15.985 Okay. Look. 00:24:17.665 --> 00:24:20.202 Democrats are getting their asses kicked 00:24:20.709 --> 00:24:23.951 because guys like me don't know how to talk to guys like you. 00:24:25.297 --> 00:24:28.380 I really believe that you believe what I believe, 00:24:28.467 --> 00:24:31.174 that what is happening in this town is wrong. 00:24:31.720 --> 00:24:33.802 What is happening in this country is wrong. 00:24:33.889 --> 00:24:35.754 People are turning their backs on each other. 00:24:35.849 --> 00:24:38.431 We are forgetting that we need each other. 00:24:38.519 --> 00:24:41.636 What you said in your speech: "Strong as the weakest link." 00:24:41.730 --> 00:24:44.563 Do you mean that? Did you mean it when you said that? 00:24:44.650 --> 00:24:48.063 Because if you did, I think that you have an obligation 00:24:48.153 --> 00:24:50.360 to try to strengthen those weak links. 00:24:50.447 --> 00:24:52.187 And you can do it. You can do it. 00:24:53.659 --> 00:24:55.615 You can do it in this sort of position. 00:24:55.703 --> 00:24:58.866 You can help strengthen those weak links. 00:25:01.834 --> 00:25:03.370 You can achieve that. 00:25:07.256 --> 00:25:10.293 Okay. All right. 00:25:10.968 --> 00:25:12.003 You know what? 00:25:15.264 --> 00:25:17.004 All due respect, colonel. 00:25:17.099 --> 00:25:20.842 Anybody can make a speech. The real test is backing up your words. 00:25:20.936 --> 00:25:23.643 The things that you said to those folks in that meeting, 00:25:23.731 --> 00:25:25.392 was that principle? 00:25:26.567 --> 00:25:28.558 Or was that just a hobby? 00:25:30.154 --> 00:25:31.314 Let me know. 00:25:32.448 --> 00:25:34.188 Why does he need three guns? 00:25:59.558 --> 00:26:01.173 Ow! 00:26:01.935 --> 00:26:03.550 Ow, god! 00:26:03.645 --> 00:26:06.136 I'm sorry if I startled you, sunshine. 00:26:07.691 --> 00:26:09.477 Don't you people believe in locks? 00:26:09.943 --> 00:26:12.559 Or privacy, or basic social contracts? 00:26:12.654 --> 00:26:14.861 Yeah. Tonya let me in. 00:26:15.282 --> 00:26:19.696 I told her I had something important I needed to talk to you about. 00:26:22.206 --> 00:26:25.039 - You'll do it? - Under one condition. 00:26:25.459 --> 00:26:26.665 Great. Name it. 00:26:28.587 --> 00:26:30.077 You run the damn thing. 00:26:30.672 --> 00:26:33.914 I got the farm to worry about. Don't have any idea how to even start. 00:26:34.009 --> 00:26:36.876 I will have one of my top guys make himself available to you. 00:26:36.970 --> 00:26:39.552 No. No, that's not gonna do it. You. 00:26:40.933 --> 00:26:43.390 The deal is you run it from here. 00:26:44.353 --> 00:26:48.016 I checked you out. You got one hell of a portfolio. 00:26:50.442 --> 00:26:52.603 So... deal? 00:26:57.825 --> 00:27:01.409 I'd like a big clump of the cows right here in the center. 00:27:03.872 --> 00:27:05.612 - Do you copy me? - Yes, sir! 00:27:05.707 --> 00:27:08.540 Okay. If you can just move them over that way. 00:27:08.627 --> 00:27:09.833 Yep! 00:27:10.337 --> 00:27:13.795 And if you can get some of 'em to face front! Oh, my god. 00:27:13.882 --> 00:27:15.998 Hey there, colonel. 00:27:16.677 --> 00:27:17.792 Gary. 00:27:18.428 --> 00:27:21.135 Bobby, thanks a million for coming out here. 00:27:21.223 --> 00:27:24.215 - I'll certainly vote for you. - Thank you all, folks, for coming. 00:27:24.810 --> 00:27:26.846 This is just a quick kickoff. 00:27:26.937 --> 00:27:29.804 Let's make you look a little more like farmer Jack 00:27:29.898 --> 00:27:33.311 and less like certified public accountant Jack. 00:27:33.819 --> 00:27:35.480 - There you go. - Okay. 00:27:35.988 --> 00:27:36.988 Oh... 00:27:37.072 --> 00:27:38.608 No, no. That's okay. That's okay. 00:27:38.699 --> 00:27:40.439 - Donny, right? - Michael. 00:27:40.534 --> 00:27:42.650 Michael, we can just boom him, okay? 00:27:43.162 --> 00:27:45.869 The pole with the thing on the end? Do you do sound, Michael? 00:27:46.290 --> 00:27:48.702 Chuck does sound, but he's at the lake with his family. 00:27:48.792 --> 00:27:52.330 Okay. Well, that's too bad that he's... That's okay. We'll just go without. 00:27:52.421 --> 00:27:54.207 - Thank you, Donny. - Thank you, son. 00:27:54.298 --> 00:27:57.665 Okay. Let's give it a try. There you are. 00:27:58.719 --> 00:28:01.176 - And this is...? - Why you are running for mayor. 00:28:02.472 --> 00:28:03.472 Wow. 00:28:03.557 --> 00:28:07.049 I quote patton... and Jesus. 00:28:07.144 --> 00:28:10.386 Paraphrase. And you can't go to the prom without a corsage. 00:28:13.108 --> 00:28:14.314 Let's make magic. 00:28:14.902 --> 00:28:19.066 All right. Thank you for coming. Can we quiet the cows, please? 00:28:19.156 --> 00:28:20.271 Thank you! 00:28:21.658 --> 00:28:23.819 Ladies and gentlemen, colonel Jack Hastings. 00:28:28.081 --> 00:28:29.821 So, uh... 00:28:30.375 --> 00:28:32.240 I am colonel Jack Hastings 00:28:32.336 --> 00:28:35.499 and I'm running for mayor. 00:28:40.928 --> 00:28:43.214 So, uh... 00:28:43.305 --> 00:28:44.761 How we doing? 00:28:46.391 --> 00:28:47.972 All right, beautifully put. 00:28:50.145 --> 00:28:53.012 Are there any questions for the colonel? Anyone? 00:28:55.192 --> 00:28:56.682 "Bu eller?" 00:28:56.777 --> 00:29:00.065 - Uh, yes. Colonel? - Yes. Name and affiliation, please. 00:29:00.155 --> 00:29:02.567 - It's Dan. - Name and affiliation, please. 00:29:03.242 --> 00:29:04.402 I'm Dan? 00:29:04.493 --> 00:29:07.405 Go ahead, Daniel. Easy on the cows! 00:29:07.496 --> 00:29:10.863 Um, yes. Mr. Hastings... colonel. Could you say that again? 00:29:10.958 --> 00:29:13.199 Because I don't think my recorder was on. 00:29:16.588 --> 00:29:18.829 - Do it again? - Hey, you know what? 00:29:19.258 --> 00:29:20.998 It's okay. We'll get it. 00:29:21.093 --> 00:29:22.674 Okay, this one... 00:29:23.637 --> 00:29:25.093 What I'm looking for... 00:29:25.806 --> 00:29:28.297 Don't put all the black ones in the center. 00:29:28.392 --> 00:29:30.804 He's running as a moderate, okay? 00:29:31.812 --> 00:29:34.804 And if you could get some facing this way, that would be helpful. 00:29:34.898 --> 00:29:36.934 More local news tonight out of deerlaken. 00:29:37.025 --> 00:29:39.812 Former marine colonel Jack Hastings announcing foday 00:29:39.903 --> 00:29:41.939 that he's running for mayor as a democrat. 00:29:42.030 --> 00:29:43.941 While braun may have an incumbent's advantage, 00:29:44.032 --> 00:29:47.775 political insiders say Hastings is likely to give him a run for his money. 00:29:47.869 --> 00:29:49.138 Happening now, a major ballot... 00:29:49.162 --> 00:29:51.198 Well, how much is this gonna cost? 00:29:51.999 --> 00:29:53.455 You let me worry about that. 00:29:54.167 --> 00:29:56.249 What I need from you are people. Volunteers. 00:29:56.336 --> 00:29:59.203 We got a lot of legwork if we're going to make a noise in this thing. 00:29:59.923 --> 00:30:01.663 - More coffee? - Oh, I'm good. 00:30:01.758 --> 00:30:04.841 No, I'm good, Lizzie. Thanks. You know what I do need? 00:30:04.928 --> 00:30:09.513 I need a couple buckets of that gravy so I can take a bath in it. 00:30:11.143 --> 00:30:14.306 It's so good. Delicious. 00:30:15.605 --> 00:30:19.143 - My compliments to the chef. - I'll let Ziggy know. 00:30:19.693 --> 00:30:21.729 Great. That oughta cheer him up. 00:30:22.321 --> 00:30:25.688 - Just the check, Lizzie. - Will do, Jack. 00:30:26.658 --> 00:30:28.865 What's the deal with the happy chef? 00:30:29.453 --> 00:30:33.071 Oh, Ziggy's all right. He owns the place. 00:30:33.165 --> 00:30:36.077 And he may be a bit peeved about the election thing. 00:30:36.168 --> 00:30:38.204 He's mayor braun's brother. 00:30:38.962 --> 00:30:40.748 Why isn't this place called braun's? 00:30:41.423 --> 00:30:45.666 A Hansen has owned this place since probably... Korea. 00:30:46.470 --> 00:30:50.008 Bobby Hansen started it, his kids ran it for years 00:30:50.682 --> 00:30:52.297 and had to sell once the base closed, 00:30:52.392 --> 00:30:56.180 but no matter who owns it, it'll always be Hansen's. 00:30:56.897 --> 00:30:58.933 Base closing really hammered this place. 00:30:59.983 --> 00:31:01.314 Yeah, it did. 00:31:01.401 --> 00:31:04.268 More than half of our storefronts are shut down. 00:31:04.363 --> 00:31:07.855 In fact, we're losing our high school if we can't come up with the funding. 00:31:07.949 --> 00:31:11.908 But no matter what folks might wish for here... 00:31:15.290 --> 00:31:16.655 "Vote for Jack Hastings, 00:31:16.750 --> 00:31:19.270 'cause no matter what you wish for, it ain't never coming back." 00:31:20.670 --> 00:31:23.628 - I like it. It's good. - Well, I'm not gonna lie to people. 00:31:23.715 --> 00:31:27.503 No, I know. I know. I was just being witty and cynical. 00:31:27.594 --> 00:31:31.758 Can't win a battle if you're not honest about what you're really up against. 00:31:32.474 --> 00:31:33.930 No, you cannot. 00:31:36.144 --> 00:31:37.930 Not enough for a bath, 00:31:38.021 --> 00:31:40.103 but you can get a good foot soaking. 00:31:41.900 --> 00:31:45.017 Thank you. A straw! 00:31:47.697 --> 00:31:49.813 All right, let's bring it in. Everybody in. 00:31:49.908 --> 00:31:52.820 - Ohh! Phone bank! - Phone bank. 00:31:52.911 --> 00:31:54.867 Well, you'll get it next time. Okay! 00:31:54.955 --> 00:31:57.697 I want you to be upbeat. I want you to be positive. 00:31:57.791 --> 00:32:00.373 Active participation is what we're looking for. 00:32:00.460 --> 00:32:04.248 Would they volunteer? Would they donate? Can we drop off a lawn sign? 00:32:04.339 --> 00:32:08.210 Would they donate? 00:32:08.301 --> 00:32:10.337 Yes, write that down. That's good. 00:32:10.429 --> 00:32:13.967 Got some sample scripts for you there. Contact list there. 00:32:14.057 --> 00:32:15.513 To the ramparts! 00:32:17.352 --> 00:32:20.014 - That means, go. You can begin. - Oh! 00:32:20.105 --> 00:32:22.642 Now, you guys are my a team. 00:32:22.732 --> 00:32:25.144 So first we're going to take these lawn signs 00:32:25.235 --> 00:32:28.022 and we're going to put them in all available public spaces. 00:32:28.113 --> 00:32:30.525 I want them visible, but not obnoxiously so. 00:32:30.615 --> 00:32:33.277 Isn't it a little early for lawn signs? 00:32:35.704 --> 00:32:37.865 I'm sorry, she just, um... 00:32:37.956 --> 00:32:41.540 'Cause just around here, sometimes people aren't so keen. 00:32:41.626 --> 00:32:44.868 But then, I do appreciate that you got the signs made. 00:32:44.963 --> 00:32:48.455 I mean, we've always used lawn signs. They've worked for hundreds of years, so... 00:32:48.550 --> 00:32:50.006 - Great. - Yeah, let's just use 'em. 00:32:50.510 --> 00:32:52.000 Great. All right. Ann? 00:32:52.095 --> 00:32:54.006 - I want you to take the downtown area. - Okay. 00:32:54.097 --> 00:32:57.715 Martha, Dave, how about everything west of 397 00:32:57.809 --> 00:32:59.579 and, Diana, I'd like you to stay here. 00:32:59.603 --> 00:33:01.719 - Hello? - To do... 00:33:01.813 --> 00:33:04.805 Hi, this is Mathew, and I'm a volunteer calling with Jack... 00:33:05.901 --> 00:33:07.562 Hello? 00:33:07.652 --> 00:33:09.188 What are you doing? 00:33:09.988 --> 00:33:11.694 - Zimmer. - Good morning, Mr. zimmer. 00:33:11.781 --> 00:33:14.193 My name is Michael, calling on behalf of colonel Hastings... 00:33:14.284 --> 00:33:17.572 Guys? Guys? Guys, guys. All right, this is what's happening here. 00:33:17.662 --> 00:33:19.903 You're calling off the office contact list. 00:33:20.373 --> 00:33:23.490 This is the voter contact list, so... Yeah, I know. 00:33:24.711 --> 00:33:28.169 I want you to call the voter contact list. We're already voting for the colonel. 00:33:28.256 --> 00:33:31.419 Okay? Good. Let's go do the signs, too. 00:33:31.510 --> 00:33:32.716 Oh, my god. 00:33:33.428 --> 00:33:34.918 Keep doing that, guys. 00:33:43.063 --> 00:33:45.395 Gar! Hey, D.C. Gary. 00:33:45.482 --> 00:33:47.723 - Hi. - Hey, gar, come on over. 00:33:48.568 --> 00:33:50.058 Okay. All right. 00:33:50.570 --> 00:33:52.435 - You got... - Nothing, nothing, nothing. 00:33:52.864 --> 00:33:54.320 That is a six. That is a five. 00:33:54.407 --> 00:33:56.614 And a four. Look at that, and a seven. 00:33:56.701 --> 00:33:58.191 I'm keeping it, baby! 00:33:58.286 --> 00:33:59.822 Ahh! 00:33:59.913 --> 00:34:02.825 Hey, everybody. This is D.C. Gary. 00:34:02.916 --> 00:34:04.156 He's staying above the hofbrau. 00:34:04.251 --> 00:34:05.661 - Hey! - Good to see you. 00:34:05.752 --> 00:34:08.064 - Welcome to the ambassador's lounge. - Thank you very much. 00:34:08.088 --> 00:34:10.295 - Hear you're in town helping the colonel. - Yes, I am. 00:34:10.382 --> 00:34:12.589 - He's a good man. - He is. He is a good man. 00:34:13.009 --> 00:34:16.251 - So, is this your campaign office here? - This? 00:34:18.098 --> 00:34:19.884 No, this is the ambassador's lounge, 00:34:19.975 --> 00:34:25.561 an elite social club of the area's top entrepreneurs, athletes and raconteurs. 00:34:25.647 --> 00:34:26.682 It's a shithole. 00:34:28.108 --> 00:34:30.599 Hey, guys. Jack's already got lawn signs printed up. 00:34:34.739 --> 00:34:37.025 Well, I gotta head out. 00:34:37.117 --> 00:34:40.609 Got a lot of work to catch up on. Pleasure meeting everybody. 00:34:41.204 --> 00:34:44.196 Hey, father, you want to go with him? He might need a miracle or two. 00:34:44.291 --> 00:34:47.783 This town hasn't had a democrat mayor since la follette ruled these parts 00:34:48.253 --> 00:34:50.460 and hasn't had a Democratic party since the '70s. 00:34:51.298 --> 00:34:53.710 It's gonna take a little bit more than lawn signs. 00:34:55.051 --> 00:34:56.382 Okay. 00:35:04.769 --> 00:35:08.136 Colonel Jack Hastings. Tempered by war. 00:35:08.231 --> 00:35:10.768 A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. 00:35:11.401 --> 00:35:13.266 Driven by faith. 00:35:13.361 --> 00:35:15.317 I am my brother's keeper. 00:35:16.031 --> 00:35:20.365 A new kind of democrat. A democrat for the heartland. 00:35:20.910 --> 00:35:24.402 Jack Hastings, a reader kind of blue. 00:35:24.831 --> 00:35:26.446 Paid for by real Americans for... 00:35:26.541 --> 00:35:28.077 What are you up to, zimmer? 00:35:29.044 --> 00:35:32.411 I am telling you, guys, Jack could be the real deal. 00:35:32.505 --> 00:35:35.042 - On a national level. - On a national level? 00:35:35.133 --> 00:35:37.249 It's like he's a cross between... 00:35:38.261 --> 00:35:41.094 - MacArthur and elk jerky. - Wait what? 00:35:41.181 --> 00:35:43.467 And one of those machines that test grip strength. 00:35:43.558 --> 00:35:46.721 - Sounds too good fo be true. - Oh, my god. 00:35:47.354 --> 00:35:48.764 Semicolon. 00:35:48.855 --> 00:35:51.517 She took the bait. 00:35:51.941 --> 00:35:54.102 It's on here, boys. Game on. 00:35:56.363 --> 00:35:59.275 And let him be the star. You know? Yeah. 00:35:59.366 --> 00:36:00.401 So... 00:36:00.492 --> 00:36:03.279 D> a little bit of Hastings all the time » 00:36:03.370 --> 00:36:06.032 > we're gonna win the election yeah, yeah, yeah » 00:36:06.122 --> 00:36:08.204 oh, yeah. Oh, here I am. 00:36:08.291 --> 00:36:10.577 Yes! Hello, party people. 00:36:10.669 --> 00:36:14.958 Oh, 'tis a beautiful day to be alive and on the vanguard of change. 00:36:15.048 --> 00:36:18.211 Who wants something to eat? They're so delicious. 00:36:21.596 --> 00:36:23.086 Okay. 00:36:23.181 --> 00:36:26.298 What's going on? Why all the long faces? 00:36:27.060 --> 00:36:29.722 Do you not see it? The billboard. 00:36:30.563 --> 00:36:33.930 The one on main with the giant "vote for mayor braun"? 00:36:34.025 --> 00:36:35.140 Yes. What about it? 00:36:35.735 --> 00:36:38.693 - What about it? - That's the McGregor Ford billboard. 00:36:39.155 --> 00:36:40.190 Okay. 00:36:40.281 --> 00:36:43.068 Okay, so it's been the McGregor Ford billboard for probably 40 years. 00:36:43.159 --> 00:36:44.490 God only knows how much it cost. 00:36:44.577 --> 00:36:47.034 And it looks like braun has taken over Jerry's old office 00:36:47.122 --> 00:36:48.737 as some sort of campaign headquarters. 00:36:48.832 --> 00:36:50.868 Wait a second, wait a second. Hold on, hold on. 00:36:50.959 --> 00:36:55.248 Um, are you telling me that the mayor, who's running for reelection, 00:36:55.338 --> 00:36:59.297 has decided to advertise his campaign for mayor 00:36:59.384 --> 00:37:02.797 and he's doing it from a campaign office? 00:37:02.887 --> 00:37:05.219 Oh, my god! Ohh, this is... 00:37:05.932 --> 00:37:08.514 This is overwhelming to me. Oh, my god! 00:37:08.601 --> 00:37:10.967 I don't... I... what... 00:37:11.062 --> 00:37:13.724 I have the vapors, I... I'm hyperventilating. 00:37:13.815 --> 00:37:17.399 - Why are these spoons just sitting there? - You don't get it. 00:37:18.820 --> 00:37:21.607 - Sorry! Sorry. Sorry. - You don't get it. 00:37:22.490 --> 00:37:24.321 Do you have any idea how much that costs? 00:37:24.409 --> 00:37:26.400 Well, that space is 3,800 square feet 00:37:26.494 --> 00:37:28.780 and it rents for $20 a square foot yearly. 00:37:28.872 --> 00:37:31.955 Prorated to two months is 7,600 dollars. 00:37:32.041 --> 00:37:35.249 The billboard... A little bit harder to decipher. 00:37:35.336 --> 00:37:39.045 But I'd say based on the location and mayor braun's desperation, 00:37:39.132 --> 00:37:40.918 8k all in. 00:37:41.009 --> 00:37:44.467 Design and printing included. I don't know, maybe something like that? 00:37:44.554 --> 00:37:47.045 Well, there's no way that braun's got that much money. 00:37:47.140 --> 00:37:50.428 Unless... this little campaign of ours 00:37:50.518 --> 00:37:53.430 has caught the attention of the national republican party, 00:37:53.521 --> 00:37:56.388 and they are sending money and reinforcements. 00:37:57.734 --> 00:38:01.067 It's okay. It's exactly what we wanted to happen. 00:38:02.781 --> 00:38:06.615 They are scared. On a national level. 00:38:06.701 --> 00:38:09.534 They are scared of colonel Jack. 00:38:11.790 --> 00:38:15.078 So we have to plan our next move. Come here. 00:38:16.669 --> 00:38:17.954 Gather round. 00:38:18.046 --> 00:38:20.037 We are going to need 00:38:20.131 --> 00:38:23.669 something a little like... that. 00:38:29.516 --> 00:38:33.259 - And you scroll down... - There's a donate button. 00:38:34.145 --> 00:38:36.682 Well, the money be just one clicky away. 00:38:37.106 --> 00:38:39.813 And one clicky goes to where? 00:38:39.901 --> 00:38:42.768 - Our website. - We don't have a web... 00:38:47.033 --> 00:38:49.240 Awesome. 00:38:49.661 --> 00:38:51.197 Good slogan, right? 00:38:51.287 --> 00:38:53.198 You've been one step ahead the whole time. 00:38:53.289 --> 00:38:55.871 Well, three or four. But thank you very much. 00:38:55.959 --> 00:38:58.371 - I will take that. - Oh, wow. 00:39:24.737 --> 00:39:26.022 Mmm. 00:39:28.032 --> 00:39:29.112 Mm. 00:39:30.493 --> 00:39:32.074 Know how I knew you were here? 00:39:32.787 --> 00:39:34.493 Your pussy tingled. 00:39:35.665 --> 00:39:37.496 Semicolon on the billboard. 00:39:38.209 --> 00:39:40.746 Classic faith Brewster over-punctuation. 00:39:41.504 --> 00:39:45.372 Look, zim, you all punched your ticket on a changing demographic 00:39:45.466 --> 00:39:47.377 and now whitey don't want you back. 00:39:48.011 --> 00:39:50.878 Okay, Jeb, exclamation point. 00:39:51.931 --> 00:39:53.296 So why are you here? 00:39:53.975 --> 00:39:55.966 Because I enjoy demoralizing you. 00:39:56.060 --> 00:39:59.473 Because crushing the last piece of hope in your eyes really gets me off. 00:40:01.649 --> 00:40:04.516 You are a twisted fuck, faith. 00:40:04.944 --> 00:40:06.354 And you don't know Jack. 00:40:07.572 --> 00:40:10.985 Please don't tell me that is the campaign slogan you came up with. 00:40:14.329 --> 00:40:16.536 This guy, zim, he's not the last jedi. 00:40:16.623 --> 00:40:19.615 And even if he were, I'd still crush him, because that's what I do. 00:40:19.709 --> 00:40:21.995 You realize in that analogy, you're Darth Vader. 00:40:22.086 --> 00:40:23.576 Whatever you say, nerd. 00:40:23.671 --> 00:40:25.207 It was good to see you. Yeah. 00:40:25.298 --> 00:40:26.458 You look fat. 00:40:30.720 --> 00:40:32.085 Hmm. 00:40:32.180 --> 00:40:35.593 Divine, Ann. You have to tell me your secret sometime. 00:40:39.520 --> 00:40:40.851 I would never tell you. 00:40:41.606 --> 00:40:43.142 Never tell her. 00:40:44.233 --> 00:40:45.564 Cream, two sugars. 00:40:46.110 --> 00:40:48.692 - No, that's not how I take it. - I know, but... 00:40:48.780 --> 00:40:51.317 And here's some streusel I made for you. It's still warm. 00:40:51.407 --> 00:40:53.218 - No, no. I can't. - These are cookies I made for you. 00:40:53.242 --> 00:40:55.262 - I'm getting fat. I can't do that. - They're called "the Garys." 00:40:55.286 --> 00:40:57.151 Thank you. No, I appreciate it. Thank you. 00:40:57.246 --> 00:40:59.141 - Okay, bye-bye. Thank you. - Okay. All right then. 00:40:59.165 --> 00:41:02.205 - All right then. Bye-bye. Have a good day. - Okay. Up all night for nothing. 00:41:03.086 --> 00:41:04.686 - Coming back. Here you go. - Just today. 00:41:04.712 --> 00:41:06.543 - Okay. - Thank you. 00:41:06.631 --> 00:41:08.872 - Bye-bye now. Bye-bye. - Bye, gar. 00:41:11.010 --> 00:41:12.090 Have a good one. 00:41:29.237 --> 00:41:30.477 Okay, good night. 00:41:30.571 --> 00:41:33.108 Oh, hey. Good night. I didn't know anybody else was here. 00:41:33.199 --> 00:41:36.157 I just wanted to make sure everything was set for tomorrow. 00:41:36.244 --> 00:41:38.485 I was just finishing up the pamphlets on immigration. 00:41:38.955 --> 00:41:43.119 Ooh. That sounds complicated. I hope the small minds can manage. 00:41:45.253 --> 00:41:46.914 I'm sorry about that. 00:41:47.005 --> 00:41:49.371 Sometimes messaging for the base 00:41:49.465 --> 00:41:52.502 doesn't resonate with the broader electorate. 00:41:53.720 --> 00:41:55.506 Oh. Okay. 00:41:56.264 --> 00:42:00.598 So to flatter them, you have to condescend to us. 00:42:02.228 --> 00:42:03.468 I get it. 00:42:04.564 --> 00:42:06.896 Uh, no, no, that wasn't... 00:42:07.817 --> 00:42:09.148 That wasn't what... 00:42:14.532 --> 00:42:15.647 Sorry. 00:42:18.870 --> 00:42:21.407 How's your dad doing? Is he okay? Nervous? 00:42:21.998 --> 00:42:25.286 - No. - No? Well, why would he be? 00:42:25.376 --> 00:42:27.788 He's been through a war. He's not gonna sweat a fish fry. 00:42:27.879 --> 00:42:29.369 No, he doesn't really get nervous. 00:42:29.464 --> 00:42:32.001 Mm-mm. Just quiet. 00:42:33.259 --> 00:42:34.294 Right. 00:42:39.849 --> 00:42:41.214 Runs in the family. 00:42:45.688 --> 00:42:47.053 - Maybe. - Ohh. 00:42:50.193 --> 00:42:54.778 Yes, my mom was really more the talker. 00:42:55.740 --> 00:42:57.196 She was... 00:43:00.078 --> 00:43:02.410 You ever know anyone that just lit up a room? 00:43:05.416 --> 00:43:06.451 Mm-hmm. 00:43:06.542 --> 00:43:08.954 Well, she was that. Yeah. 00:43:09.879 --> 00:43:11.369 She sounds great. Yeah. 00:43:13.174 --> 00:43:16.132 So, why did your dad get involved with all this? 00:43:16.219 --> 00:43:18.881 I mean, why speak at that meeting? 00:43:18.971 --> 00:43:23.715 Why run when it involves talking and people? 00:43:25.436 --> 00:43:29.770 I think he just loves this town, you know? 00:43:29.857 --> 00:43:31.893 I think he'd do anything to save it. 00:43:32.735 --> 00:43:33.941 What about you? 00:43:38.825 --> 00:43:43.410 I guess I would do just about anything to save him. 00:43:57.552 --> 00:43:58.917 I'll just take one. 00:44:01.472 --> 00:44:03.008 Hey, how are you? 00:44:03.099 --> 00:44:05.181 Pamphlet? Vote for colonel Jack. 00:44:07.895 --> 00:44:09.476 Vote for colonel Jack. 00:44:09.897 --> 00:44:14.641 Any kind of genealogy. It's an incredible database. 00:44:14.735 --> 00:44:16.896 - Yeah. - All your information is in there. 00:44:25.830 --> 00:44:26.945 Hey, Gary. 00:44:27.039 --> 00:44:29.906 Sorry I'm late. I was just waiting for these to get finished. 00:44:30.543 --> 00:44:33.501 Beer koozies might be a little more helpful than just the pamphlets. 00:44:39.218 --> 00:44:40.924 How big is that booth? 00:44:45.016 --> 00:44:46.347 - Faith. - Gary. 00:44:46.434 --> 00:44:50.143 You seem to be doing a brisk business. "Deerlaken: Always." 00:44:50.229 --> 00:44:54.188 So, apparently "deerlaken dber alles' was copyrighted? 00:44:54.275 --> 00:44:55.915 Well, we were gonna go with "I'm with him" 00:44:55.985 --> 00:44:58.101 until we remembered how fucking stupid it sounded. 00:44:58.196 --> 00:45:01.654 No, no, no. I love it. I love the whole town genealogy angle. 00:45:01.741 --> 00:45:05.450 It's got a real, bold "you ain't from around here" flavor. 00:45:05.536 --> 00:45:09.120 With subtle notes of xenophobia. 00:45:09.207 --> 00:45:11.072 Not to mention the cognitive dissonance 00:45:11.167 --> 00:45:13.533 that your booth is basically a love letter to immigration. 00:45:13.628 --> 00:45:14.743 That's a great observation. 00:45:14.837 --> 00:45:17.294 So all these people are hypocrites? I'd run with that. 00:45:17.381 --> 00:45:19.963 - All you have is fear. - Now we're getting somewhere. 00:45:20.051 --> 00:45:22.884 Twenty bucks says I do better with fear than you do with shame. 00:45:22.970 --> 00:45:25.552 - Oh. - Okay. It's all set, miss Brewster. 00:45:26.224 --> 00:45:27.555 Thank you, sweetie. 00:45:27.642 --> 00:45:29.098 Well, well, well. 00:45:30.186 --> 00:45:32.973 I'm really sorry, Mr. z. I like working with you guys. 00:45:33.064 --> 00:45:35.646 But I'm saving up for a car and she's paying us. 00:45:35.733 --> 00:45:37.473 "Yay. She's paying us." 00:45:37.568 --> 00:45:41.277 Wow, way to stand up for what you believe in there... 00:45:42.365 --> 00:45:44.151 - M... - It's Michael. 00:45:44.242 --> 00:45:46.654 Michael. I know his name is Michael. 00:45:46.744 --> 00:45:49.451 I know it. I was pausing for effect. Michael. 00:45:49.538 --> 00:45:51.824 - Thank you, Michael. - Character is destiny, Michael. 00:45:51.916 --> 00:45:54.236 - Character is destiny. - Don't listen to him. He's a jerk. 00:45:54.293 --> 00:45:55.908 Ooh. Good burn. 00:45:56.003 --> 00:45:57.994 Jack has lived here for 30 years. 00:45:58.089 --> 00:46:01.297 You really think you can run a campaign that paints him as a carpetbagger? 00:46:01.384 --> 00:46:03.841 Probably not. But I think I can run one that says you are. 00:46:03.928 --> 00:46:05.509 - Beer koozie. - Oh, my god. 00:46:07.265 --> 00:46:09.381 Oh, Hastings koozie. 00:46:09.475 --> 00:46:11.431 - Yeah. - Touché. 00:46:11.519 --> 00:46:14.682 That's right. That's in our booth. What do you think of that? 00:46:14.772 --> 00:46:16.888 What do you think of that right there? 00:46:16.983 --> 00:46:19.269 Boom, boom. What do you think of that? 00:46:19.944 --> 00:46:21.104 - I don't... - Ohh! 00:46:21.612 --> 00:46:23.193 Sorry. Not you, dot. 00:46:25.116 --> 00:46:26.572 Oh, dot. 00:47:17.251 --> 00:47:19.663 We're not doing this. “What? 00:47:20.796 --> 00:47:21.956 Ugh. 00:47:22.048 --> 00:47:23.379 You go through my stuff? 00:47:26.093 --> 00:47:30.052 - Why here? You have your own room. - I don't want to smoke alone. 00:47:30.139 --> 00:47:32.095 Oh, come on. Are... really? 00:47:33.184 --> 00:47:34.184 - Lord. - Ha ha! 00:47:35.019 --> 00:47:37.476 Gary, I'm bored. 00:47:37.897 --> 00:47:39.603 Please, can we just forget it? 00:47:39.690 --> 00:47:42.272 You've made your point. There's democrats with calloused hands. 00:47:42.360 --> 00:47:45.022 Gonna bode very well for the midterms, I promise. 00:47:45.112 --> 00:47:46.852 But can we all just go back to Washington 00:47:46.947 --> 00:47:48.938 and forget that we ever made camp in a place 00:47:49.033 --> 00:47:51.649 where the shit you skim off milk is considered a food? 00:47:51.744 --> 00:47:54.156 They are called cheese curds and they are delicious. 00:47:54.246 --> 00:47:56.783 - They're disgusting. - And you can't make poutine without them. 00:47:56.874 --> 00:47:58.830 - Come on. Please? - Go. 00:47:58.918 --> 00:48:00.783 You can go. You don't have to be here. 00:48:00.878 --> 00:48:04.120 I made these people a promise. I'm a good person. 00:48:04.215 --> 00:48:06.752 It's your last chance, zim. I'm gonna make a big deal of this. 00:48:06.842 --> 00:48:08.833 Tons of press, lots of money. 00:48:08.928 --> 00:48:11.406 You're gonna lose and then you're gonna look like a giant asshole. 00:48:11.430 --> 00:48:12.920 Good. That's what I want. 00:48:13.557 --> 00:48:16.549 Not the asshole, but for you to make a big deal of this. 00:48:16.644 --> 00:48:19.056 I want it to be a big deal. It is a big deal. 00:48:19.480 --> 00:48:22.347 - Well, let's make it interesting. - Okay, why don't we? 00:48:22.691 --> 00:48:25.433 The loser has to eat the winner's pussy out for an hour. 00:48:25.945 --> 00:48:29.108 You better grab a big old bib 'cause it's chow time. 00:48:30.908 --> 00:48:32.023 Dick chow time. 00:48:32.952 --> 00:48:36.695 'Cause I'm gonna win, and you're gonna have to eat my dick for an hour. 00:48:37.331 --> 00:48:41.199 And you know something? That's a long time dick-eating wise. 00:48:42.753 --> 00:48:44.038 A long time! 00:48:45.172 --> 00:48:47.037 To eat my dick. 00:48:51.429 --> 00:48:57.641 In a dangerous world gone mad, we need emotionally stable leadership. 00:48:59.728 --> 00:49:03.846 Only mayor braun is stable enough fo keep deerlaken safe. 00:49:03.941 --> 00:49:06.603 To keep deerlaken, deerlaken. 00:49:06.694 --> 00:49:09.527 I gotcha! 00:49:09.613 --> 00:49:14.152 I'm mayor braun, and I approved this message. Here. 00:49:15.202 --> 00:49:17.818 Paid for by traditional Wisconsin families for faith and freedom. 00:49:19.874 --> 00:49:20.874 What's that mean? 00:49:20.958 --> 00:49:23.118 7hey've taken the office just across from mine. 00:49:23.461 --> 00:49:26.077 They're definitely ramping up, so I'm gonna need the full crew. 00:49:26.589 --> 00:49:29.126 If zimmer wants to take a stand in turdsville, usa, 00:49:29.216 --> 00:49:30.922 I say we bury him here. 00:49:31.552 --> 00:49:35.511 Sorry. Not a turd. Heart and soul of America. 00:49:36.390 --> 00:49:38.756 - Get me the nerdy guy from analytics. - Who's that? 00:49:38.851 --> 00:49:40.051 I don't know his name. 00:49:40.686 --> 00:49:42.051 He wears glasses and plaid. 00:49:42.146 --> 00:49:44.182 - Has a very complicated beard. - Which one? 00:49:44.273 --> 00:49:46.810 How the fuck does that not narrow it down? 00:49:47.526 --> 00:49:49.642 - God-fucking-damn it! - What? 00:49:50.070 --> 00:49:52.061 Then send me everyone, by yesterday. 00:49:52.698 --> 00:49:54.529 /1 get on it. 00:50:06.212 --> 00:50:07.372 Sorr... hey, dot. 00:50:10.799 --> 00:50:12.335 - Gary. - Hey, big guy? 00:50:12.426 --> 00:50:14.132 - Yes. - We got a problem. 00:50:16.430 --> 00:50:19.638 What's up? Having trouble rounding up focus groups? 00:50:19.725 --> 00:50:21.215 - No. - Shh. 00:50:25.856 --> 00:50:27.187 I don't even know what to say. 00:50:27.608 --> 00:50:29.974 Hey, hey, everybody! 00:50:30.069 --> 00:50:32.902 Do we know why we have dial-up in this space? 00:50:32.988 --> 00:50:35.445 Duffy had it upgraded right before he closed his shop. 00:50:35.533 --> 00:50:38.741 - Upgraded from what? - Nothing. 00:50:38.827 --> 00:50:41.990 Well, is there any way we could piggyback Wi-Fi from someplace? 00:50:42.081 --> 00:50:43.491 There's a place where the kids go, 00:50:43.582 --> 00:50:45.789 and they do homework and they play games and whatnot. 00:50:45.876 --> 00:50:48.037 - I know the password. - Okay. 00:50:48.462 --> 00:50:50.418 Solving problems. 00:51:02.017 --> 00:51:03.348 Listen, I... 00:51:03.852 --> 00:51:05.934 I don't think you're allowed to be here 00:51:06.021 --> 00:51:08.763 unless you're on official school business, so... 00:51:09.275 --> 00:51:12.233 - Okay, look, officer... - Tommy. 00:51:12.319 --> 00:51:16.358 Officer Tommy. Um, we are with the Hastings campaign, 00:51:16.448 --> 00:51:19.940 and we're trying to get some work done here... it's sort of time-sensitive. 00:51:20.035 --> 00:51:21.900 So, um... 00:51:21.996 --> 00:51:24.954 Okay, here we go. Here is a pen. 00:51:25.749 --> 00:51:29.412 - And one of these beer thingies. - Koozie. 00:51:29.503 --> 00:51:30.538 Koozie. 00:51:30.629 --> 00:51:31.869 And, uh... 00:51:32.881 --> 00:51:34.417 Thank you for your service. 00:51:48.105 --> 00:51:50.437 Oh, for god's sakes. 00:51:52.359 --> 00:51:54.190 Hello, boys. 00:51:54.987 --> 00:51:56.773 Gentlemen, these are children! 00:51:57.364 --> 00:51:58.399 - Hey. - Hi. 00:51:58.490 --> 00:52:00.610 - Great job, guys. - Do you know what that looks like? 00:52:01.160 --> 00:52:04.778 Sitting in your car? A bunch of boys on a computer? 00:52:11.587 --> 00:52:13.248 No, no, no. Thank you. 00:52:14.381 --> 00:52:16.463 I see they sprung you from detention, huh? 00:52:16.550 --> 00:52:20.088 Yeah. Apparently, small-town hospitality doesn't apply to Wi-Fi. 00:52:20.179 --> 00:52:23.842 They're not too keen on strangers staking out a school parking lot. Kids and all. 00:52:23.932 --> 00:52:26.218 Yeah. In hindsight, that makes complete sense. 00:52:27.394 --> 00:52:29.134 Guys? Could I talk to you for a sec? Yeah. 00:52:29.229 --> 00:52:31.311 In my office? Come on in. 00:52:31.398 --> 00:52:33.855 Have a seat. You can leave the door open. 00:52:33.942 --> 00:52:34.977 Here's the deal. 00:52:35.778 --> 00:52:37.439 Our opponents are pumping 00:52:37.529 --> 00:52:39.986 way more into this than I ever expected them to. 00:52:40.908 --> 00:52:45.072 This rinky-dink stuff is not gonna fly. We need to up our fund-raising game. 00:52:45.621 --> 00:52:50.240 Okay. Let's... sure, do you want to do like a street fair or...? 00:52:50.334 --> 00:52:51.824 That's a good idea. 00:52:51.919 --> 00:52:55.628 No, it's not a good idea. Don't... No, we're not gonna do that. 00:52:55.714 --> 00:52:57.545 Have you ever been to New York? 00:53:01.637 --> 00:53:04.595 Oh, my god. Please unplug it. Please unplug it! 00:53:06.308 --> 00:53:07.764 Unplug it! 00:53:10.396 --> 00:53:12.227 I'm just looking at the guest list here. 00:53:12.898 --> 00:53:14.854 Great. Great turnout. 00:53:15.734 --> 00:53:19.022 Especially considering the short notice. Really good. 00:53:20.572 --> 00:53:23.279 Mmm. Ever have one of those? 00:53:25.953 --> 00:53:28.945 - Green beans? - Haricot vert. 00:53:30.207 --> 00:53:32.914 Well, that's... French for green beans. 00:53:34.044 --> 00:53:35.409 These are more delicate... 00:53:36.505 --> 00:53:37.870 Thinner, more flavorful. 00:53:41.135 --> 00:53:43.046 - I didn't know you spoke French. - Mm. 00:53:46.974 --> 00:53:49.386 - Would you like something? - No. 00:53:53.772 --> 00:53:55.057 Is this too loud? 00:54:08.537 --> 00:54:09.697 Hmm. 00:54:25.929 --> 00:54:28.545 Richard and ginnie peeler are hosting. 00:54:28.640 --> 00:54:32.224 He's a hedge fund swell, she's been saving the Hudson for about 25 years. 00:54:32.311 --> 00:54:35.018 Richard peeler? Yeah. Got it. 00:54:38.233 --> 00:54:39.894 Are you like 127 00:54:43.155 --> 00:54:45.091 it's not only that the sand traps are deeper, 00:54:45.115 --> 00:54:47.527 but the quality of the sand at... 00:54:47.618 --> 00:54:51.236 - Excuse me. Gary! - Hey, dick. Peeler. 00:54:51.330 --> 00:54:53.662 Gary. Thank you for coming. 00:54:53.749 --> 00:54:55.865 Oh, my pleasure. Thanks for having us. 00:54:55.959 --> 00:54:58.062 - We're really, really excited. - We're excited. 00:54:58.086 --> 00:55:01.795 Jack? Jack. I'd like you to meet Richard peeler. 00:55:01.882 --> 00:55:03.943 - What an honor. - Jack Hastings. Very nice to meet you. 00:55:03.967 --> 00:55:06.674 - Thank you for having us. - It's really an honor, yeah. 00:55:08.388 --> 00:55:11.630 No, it's, you know, the authentic thing here. I see that. 00:55:11.725 --> 00:55:14.216 It's amazing. Can I get you something to drink? 00:55:14.311 --> 00:55:15.721 Sure. What would you like? 00:55:15.813 --> 00:55:20.648 Uh, I'd like a little... tea, chamomile, if you have it. 00:55:21.193 --> 00:55:23.684 All right. That's fine. You want a scotch. 00:55:23.779 --> 00:55:25.519 - Yes, please. - Yes, I know that. 00:55:30.953 --> 00:55:32.568 Does this have alcohol? 00:55:33.205 --> 00:55:36.038 He's a criminal. Oh, thank you. 00:55:36.458 --> 00:55:38.790 He's a criminal, trust me. I've done deals with him. 00:55:38.877 --> 00:55:41.584 Our democracy is falling apart. We're gonna lose it. 00:55:41.672 --> 00:55:43.503 Tom Friedman had a great line. 00:55:43.590 --> 00:55:45.568 I like to say he's the bitcoin of presidents. 00:55:45.592 --> 00:55:47.278 Her whole dress line was made in China. 00:55:47.302 --> 00:55:49.293 The man is mentally ill. 00:55:49.388 --> 00:55:52.505 - Fuckface Von clownstick. - I'm mad. We should all be mad. 00:55:52.599 --> 00:55:54.965 I mean, what kind of person hunts elephants? 00:55:55.060 --> 00:55:58.803 There's not a whole lot of the... What did you call it? 00:55:58.897 --> 00:56:00.888 - Farm to table. - The farm to table. 00:56:00.983 --> 00:56:04.475 I mean, I guess it all kind of, uh... 00:56:05.487 --> 00:56:09.321 All goes from farms to tables of some kind. 00:56:13.203 --> 00:56:17.993 We're so excited that you're all here, and we are so thankful 00:56:18.083 --> 00:56:20.074 to our old friend for presenting us 00:56:20.168 --> 00:56:23.911 with another informative and stimulating evening. 00:56:24.006 --> 00:56:25.291 Oh. 00:56:25.382 --> 00:56:27.748 You know him. You love him. 00:56:27.843 --> 00:56:29.174 And sometimes hate. 00:56:29.595 --> 00:56:31.711 Hate writing the checks, but, you know... Yeah. 00:56:34.057 --> 00:56:36.139 - Gary. - Thank you. Thanks so much. 00:56:36.226 --> 00:56:39.093 Thanks for coming. And thank you... 00:56:39.187 --> 00:56:43.681 Keep that going for the peelers, please. Their tremendous hospitality. 00:56:44.359 --> 00:56:47.171 Listen, I'm not going to take up too much of your time other than to say 00:56:47.195 --> 00:56:49.026 thank you all for being here. 00:56:49.114 --> 00:56:50.820 One thing I do want to say, though, 00:56:50.908 --> 00:56:54.571 is that colonel Jack Hastings 00:56:54.661 --> 00:56:58.245 is the embodiment of America's real greatness. 00:56:58.332 --> 00:57:02.075 Service to nation, hard work, faith. 00:57:02.169 --> 00:57:06.003 Republicans don't own those values. Do they? 00:57:06.089 --> 00:57:08.080 They don't own 'em. They can't. 00:57:08.884 --> 00:57:11.796 Inclusion. That's the most important of all. 00:57:12.346 --> 00:57:16.089 But sometimes we get comfortable in our own little ideological bubbles. 00:57:16.183 --> 00:57:19.471 I see them. You can't see them necessarily, but I see 'em. 00:57:19.561 --> 00:57:22.394 There's a little bubble there, there's a little bubble there, 00:57:22.481 --> 00:57:24.597 and we forget to reach out, 00:57:24.691 --> 00:57:28.900 to find empathy and understanding across 00:57:28.987 --> 00:57:31.194 religious, or racial, 00:57:31.281 --> 00:57:33.647 or just plain geographical boundaries. 00:57:34.242 --> 00:57:36.699 And I hope tonight changes that, even just a little bit. 00:57:37.871 --> 00:57:40.487 So, without further ado, 00:57:40.582 --> 00:57:43.699 I would like you to join me in welcoming the next mayor 00:57:43.794 --> 00:57:46.126 of deerlaken, Wisconsin, 00:57:46.755 --> 00:57:48.871 colonel Jack Hastings. 00:57:49.341 --> 00:57:51.923 Hear! Hear! 00:57:55.681 --> 00:57:57.387 Well, uh... 00:57:57.474 --> 00:57:58.589 Thanks, folks. 00:57:58.684 --> 00:58:03.098 And thanks to Gary and to the peelers. 00:58:03.188 --> 00:58:04.553 Thank you. 00:58:04.648 --> 00:58:08.766 Wow, this is a... great house. It's a great house. 00:58:08.860 --> 00:58:10.020 Um... 00:58:13.281 --> 00:58:15.567 I see some of you are 00:58:15.659 --> 00:58:18.241 wondering what I'm doing here. 00:58:19.413 --> 00:58:20.528 And... 00:58:21.999 --> 00:58:24.536 I think I'm wondering the same. 00:58:25.961 --> 00:58:27.121 Uh... 00:58:27.713 --> 00:58:29.328 I guess that's the point. 00:58:31.049 --> 00:58:34.792 Without all this, you might never have met me. 00:58:34.886 --> 00:58:37.969 And I certainly wouldn't have met you. 00:58:39.766 --> 00:58:40.926 But... 00:58:42.853 --> 00:58:44.514 Uh, now we have. 00:58:46.356 --> 00:58:49.689 So, um... 00:58:52.779 --> 00:58:54.269 Um... 00:58:54.364 --> 00:58:56.229 Colonel? Colonel? 00:58:56.324 --> 00:58:58.736 - Yeah? - Gary zimmer, from the D.C. bugle. 00:58:58.827 --> 00:59:00.738 Um... 00:59:00.829 --> 00:59:04.117 Why should a bunch of uptight upper westsiders 00:59:04.207 --> 00:59:06.664 care about a little town in Wisconsin? 00:59:08.754 --> 00:59:10.995 Uh, it's hard to say. 00:59:12.132 --> 00:59:14.043 I guess we're hurting. 00:59:14.593 --> 00:59:17.175 Looking for help from you. 00:59:19.598 --> 00:59:21.304 What can we do to help? 00:59:21.391 --> 00:59:24.349 I'll take that. Money. Money. 00:59:26.188 --> 00:59:28.179 It's a serious question, actually. 00:59:28.857 --> 00:59:31.143 You know, our politics seem broken. 00:59:31.234 --> 00:59:35.477 Colonel, what do you see as the system's greatest weakness? 00:59:39.034 --> 00:59:43.653 Hmm. Well, I guess, for one thing, this. 00:59:45.248 --> 00:59:46.863 Here, tonight. 00:59:48.543 --> 00:59:51.285 And I mean no disrespect. 00:59:52.756 --> 00:59:55.793 I just think this seems a bit crazy. 00:59:56.927 --> 00:59:59.964 I want to help my town. I want to be mayor. 01:00:00.055 --> 01:00:02.467 Some town in the middle of Wisconsin. 01:00:03.600 --> 01:00:07.889 So instead of being home working on some smart things to help my town, 01:00:08.772 --> 01:00:11.058 I have to fly here to your town 01:00:11.149 --> 01:00:14.141 and convince you that my town is worth saving. 01:00:14.236 --> 01:00:16.352 And that I'm worth it. 01:00:17.072 --> 01:00:20.109 And that saving it is worth it to you. 01:00:21.034 --> 01:00:25.698 All so you can give me some money. Not for my town, but for me. 01:00:26.164 --> 01:00:29.656 To help convince my town that I'm worth it. 01:00:32.712 --> 01:00:35.044 I'm... I mean... 01:00:36.466 --> 01:00:39.424 I don't know, it just sounds so stupid. 01:00:55.569 --> 01:00:57.025 Still crying? 01:00:58.655 --> 01:00:59.895 A little bit. 01:01:01.032 --> 01:01:02.192 Mmm. 01:01:03.869 --> 01:01:07.657 You gonna do that all the way home? 01:01:08.748 --> 01:01:09.908 Yes. 01:01:13.628 --> 01:01:15.164 Why? 01:01:16.798 --> 01:01:20.256 Because the seat belt sign is on and I can't get up to hug you. 01:01:21.678 --> 01:01:23.259 Damn, Jack. 01:01:25.098 --> 01:01:29.888 You walked in there... Into the lion's den like that... 01:01:30.353 --> 01:01:33.561 - Daniel. - Yeah. And just... 01:01:33.648 --> 01:01:35.604 You told them. Straight up. 01:01:35.692 --> 01:01:38.729 This isn't right, this is wrong. The system is corrupt. 01:01:38.820 --> 01:01:42.108 "I'm out of order. You're out of order. The whole damn system is out of order. 01:01:42.199 --> 01:01:43.530 Attica!" 01:01:47.704 --> 01:01:49.695 Money! Oh, god. 01:01:49.789 --> 01:01:52.872 Their money is the problem? 01:01:52.959 --> 01:01:55.450 Ohh! 01:01:55.545 --> 01:01:58.287 - You should have seen their faces. - I saw. 01:01:58.381 --> 01:02:01.965 They ate it up! 01:02:02.427 --> 01:02:04.258 We could have named our price. 01:02:07.307 --> 01:02:10.174 - Oh, no way faith matches. - Why is that, now? 01:02:10.268 --> 01:02:14.432 Oh, because they are spending to stop something 01:02:14.522 --> 01:02:16.353 and we're spending to start something. 01:02:17.859 --> 01:02:19.395 Hmm. 01:02:20.654 --> 01:02:23.862 "I'm mad as hell and I can't take it anymore!" 01:02:25.116 --> 01:02:26.731 Ohl 01:02:26.826 --> 01:02:29.943 - Gary, you... green bean? - No... no. 01:02:30.038 --> 01:02:31.824 Okay. No, thank you. 01:02:34.167 --> 01:02:35.998 Wow. 01:02:36.086 --> 01:02:38.953 I am telling you, he is the real deal. 01:02:39.047 --> 01:02:41.834 It is like a Bill Clinton with impulse control. 01:02:41.925 --> 01:02:45.543 Like a church-going Bernie Sanders with better bone density. 01:02:45.637 --> 01:02:48.003 - Hello. - Here they are. Here they are! 01:02:48.515 --> 01:02:50.631 Ladies and gentlemen, the next mayor of deerlaken 01:02:50.725 --> 01:02:52.005 and his talented first daughter. 01:02:52.060 --> 01:02:54.221 - Please join me. - You are fired up. 01:02:54.312 --> 01:02:56.473 I am fired... why wouldn't I be fired up? 01:02:56.564 --> 01:03:01.149 I am working with the future of the Democratic party here. 01:03:01.236 --> 01:03:04.444 Oh, your dad the other night was transcendent. 01:03:04.531 --> 01:03:06.897 He crushed it, and because of that, 01:03:06.992 --> 01:03:09.153 I'd like to show you the fruits of your labor. 01:03:10.328 --> 01:03:13.536 Because he was so good, I was able to hire... 01:03:14.666 --> 01:03:16.122 The a team. 01:03:16.876 --> 01:03:20.789 I am just kidding. They're not the a team. Not that you aren't great. 01:03:20.880 --> 01:03:22.120 But this... 01:03:23.842 --> 01:03:24.957 Is the real a team. 01:03:25.051 --> 01:03:28.919 - I get it, but what are the numbers? - I was thinking we want to open there. 01:03:29.014 --> 01:03:31.551 Continue the conversation here and connect that. 01:03:31.641 --> 01:03:34.132 You know Kurt lehman? Polling and modeling? 01:03:34.227 --> 01:03:35.342 - Yes. Hi. - Hi. 01:03:35.437 --> 01:03:38.270 Gives us a window into the electorate. Best in the business. 01:03:38.356 --> 01:03:41.473 When everyone was predicting Hillary in a landslide over trump, 01:03:41.943 --> 01:03:45.686 Kurt was the one guy who had her just barely beating him. 01:03:45.780 --> 01:03:48.943 My models just picked up the trend lines, so... 01:03:49.034 --> 01:03:51.012 If the election had taken place a month or two later... 01:03:51.036 --> 01:03:53.823 My numbers would have been 100% on the money. 01:03:53.913 --> 01:03:54.913 Mm-hmm. 01:03:54.998 --> 01:03:57.114 Wow. Impressive. 01:03:57.208 --> 01:04:00.041 - Well... - Well, he was the least wrong. 01:04:00.462 --> 01:04:01.827 Tina kuryev. Analytics. 01:04:01.921 --> 01:04:04.913 - She gives us a window into the voters. - Good to meet you, sir. 01:04:05.008 --> 01:04:08.717 - Oh. I thought polling did that. - It does. 01:04:08.803 --> 01:04:12.136 He tells you how he thinks they feel, I tell you how they really feel. 01:04:14.601 --> 01:04:16.967 - People are liars. - Here we go. 01:04:17.062 --> 01:04:20.145 He can tell you how often people say they go to church. 01:04:20.231 --> 01:04:23.815 - She can tell you if they actually go. - I can tell you if god is in their hearts. 01:04:23.902 --> 01:04:26.143 - Oh, my god. - Tina is in online analytics. 01:04:26.237 --> 01:04:29.274 Can I just say, we take deception into account too, okay? 01:04:29.783 --> 01:04:31.364 Yeah, polling is an art form, 01:04:31.451 --> 01:04:33.817 but there's plenty of science to back it up. 01:04:33.912 --> 01:04:36.324 Says the guy still calling landlines. 01:04:36.414 --> 01:04:38.575 People tell computers the truth, all right? 01:04:38.666 --> 01:04:40.748 Their desires, their prejudices. 01:04:40.835 --> 01:04:44.874 Every search, every transaction... It's an unguarded private moment. 01:04:44.964 --> 01:04:48.001 So there's no margin of error, you know? 01:04:48.093 --> 01:04:50.755 The digital footprint is your true self. 01:04:50.845 --> 01:04:54.963 But surely people are more complicated than their online transactions. 01:04:55.767 --> 01:04:57.348 Well, says the woman with three cats 01:04:57.435 --> 01:04:59.642 and an intense search history of the herpes virus. 01:05:05.985 --> 01:05:07.771 One of the cats... 01:05:08.321 --> 01:05:09.777 Is this legal? 01:05:09.864 --> 01:05:12.480 Law enforcement or in the eyes of god? 01:05:15.954 --> 01:05:17.640 With two weeks fo go until election day, 01:05:17.664 --> 01:05:20.030 we have an update on the deerlaken mayoral race. 01:05:20.125 --> 01:05:22.036 The race between colonel Jack Hastings 01:05:22.127 --> 01:05:24.664 and incumbent mayor Billy braun is tightening. 01:05:24.754 --> 01:05:28.497 Who here has been chosen as 527s? Raise your hands, please. 01:05:28.967 --> 01:05:31.424 One, two, three, four. 01:05:31.511 --> 01:05:33.502 Good. You all run super pacs now. 01:05:33.596 --> 01:05:37.714 You are no longer associated with this campaign. 01:05:37.809 --> 01:05:42.519 And as such, it is time to move to your super pac location, 01:05:43.022 --> 01:05:45.934 which is all the way at the back of the room, 01:05:46.025 --> 01:05:49.358 far, far away from the activity of the campaign. 01:05:51.281 --> 01:05:52.396 Right now? 01:05:53.450 --> 01:05:55.236 I am not at Liberty to say. 01:05:55.326 --> 01:05:58.614 The campaign cannot coordinate with the super pac. 01:05:59.122 --> 01:06:01.283 So0... after the meeting. 01:06:02.375 --> 01:06:06.789 J» you always won every time you placed a bet... 01:06:10.675 --> 01:06:14.167 Get me that fucking sat truck. Get it now. They're going to out-communicate us. 01:06:14.846 --> 01:06:17.337 Here we have an unusual cluster of single women. 01:06:17.432 --> 01:06:19.618 They're all going to get pamphlets saying that the mayor 01:06:19.642 --> 01:06:22.349 is going to repeal the health care payment for birth control. 01:06:22.437 --> 01:06:25.929 What's this? - It's eight smaws. 01:06:26.024 --> 01:06:28.891 Stay-at-home-middle-aged women, 29 to 54. 01:06:28.985 --> 01:06:31.146 Twenty-nine? That's middle-aged? 01:06:32.238 --> 01:06:34.695 Yes. Yes, it is. 01:06:34.782 --> 01:06:37.774 Got to do it on the adjective. "Safe" streets. It's not safe "streets." 01:06:37.869 --> 01:06:40.861 - Everybody wants safe streets. - No, no. That's coming off a little angry. 01:06:41.664 --> 01:06:44.384 - Did you finish those donor calls? - Yeah, just about. 01:06:44.417 --> 01:06:46.533 I just always had a notion that farmers... 01:06:46.628 --> 01:06:48.493 Sorry. Are you clicking your heels? 01:06:48.588 --> 01:06:51.546 Are you Dorothy? Is there no place like home? 01:06:51.633 --> 01:06:52.748 J» turning on the charm » 01:06:54.010 --> 01:06:56.843 » long enough to get you by » => still the same > 01:06:56.930 --> 01:06:59.888 America's greatness and god's grace? 01:07:00.725 --> 01:07:02.807 I'd go to battle for those two any day. 01:07:04.646 --> 01:07:07.886 Paid for by wisconsinites for religiously-based compassionate empathy. 01:07:12.487 --> 01:07:14.006 - Did you just sigh? - Did he just sigh? 01:07:14.030 --> 01:07:15.645 Don't even get me started with sighing. 01:07:15.740 --> 01:07:18.823 Now here, this cluster in blue have children. 01:07:18.910 --> 01:07:22.152 So, they're going to get pamphlets saying "save our schools," 01:07:22.247 --> 01:07:25.239 because it's 1950 and everybody loves pamphlets. 01:07:25.333 --> 01:07:28.166 Hi, my name is Jack. I'm exasperated. 01:07:28.253 --> 01:07:31.586 Why don't we move on to the womams? White middle-aged men. 01:07:35.677 --> 01:07:39.090 J I had nothing left to say » 01:07:40.348 --> 01:07:42.054 j» 'cause your're still the same j» 01:07:42.141 --> 01:07:46.134 j still the same baby, babe, you're still the same... j 01:07:46.229 --> 01:07:47.229 what's this? 01:07:47.855 --> 01:07:49.015 Walt. 01:07:50.024 --> 01:07:51.434 Is that an acronym? 01:07:52.026 --> 01:07:53.607 No, it is not. 01:07:56.197 --> 01:08:00.281 Can I still bring baked goods to the super pac location? 01:08:08.167 --> 01:08:09.247 No. 01:08:26.936 --> 01:08:30.303 I'm colonel Jack Hastings and I approve this message. 01:08:30.398 --> 01:08:33.856 You want to come to deerlaken, you'll have fo go through him. 01:08:36.696 --> 01:08:38.732 Paid for by powerful progressives for strength. 01:08:39.407 --> 01:08:41.113 So good. 01:08:42.452 --> 01:08:44.113 Thank you so much, sir. You're welcome. 01:08:44.203 --> 01:08:46.163 - Thank you so much for your support. - Thank you. 01:08:49.667 --> 01:08:52.659 How the hell did she get the bayou billionaires involved? 01:08:53.212 --> 01:08:54.481 You okay? Do you need some help? 01:08:54.505 --> 01:08:55.961 - Just fine. Yeah. - Okay. Thank you. 01:08:56.049 --> 01:08:59.382 She must have promised that they could have the town smelted after the election. 01:09:04.474 --> 01:09:06.635 I'm just very impressed with all this. 01:09:06.726 --> 01:09:08.808 - You did the polling? - Uh-huh. In fact... 01:09:08.895 --> 01:09:11.386 There it is. 01:09:11.481 --> 01:09:14.348 - What is that? - No, "who" is that. Elton chambers? 01:09:15.276 --> 01:09:18.359 - The rocket man? - The billionaire rocket man, yes. 01:09:18.780 --> 01:09:21.021 - Jesus chr... I thought he was dead. - He is dead. 01:09:21.115 --> 01:09:24.528 No, no, no. A series of micro-strokes. It's all good. 01:09:42.970 --> 01:09:46.804 Sir Elton, thank you so, so much for coming. 01:09:46.891 --> 01:09:49.678 Everyone, this is the great sir Elton. 01:09:51.854 --> 01:09:53.469 Let's get through the pleasantries. 01:09:53.564 --> 01:09:56.271 This is Jack Hastings. And his daughter, Diana. 01:09:56.359 --> 01:09:59.647 Hello, colonel. 01:10:00.613 --> 01:10:02.695 All right, well, let's get right to it then. 01:10:03.157 --> 01:10:08.493 D> tell me, what is your position » 01:10:08.579 --> 01:10:11.662 j» concerning the settlements j 01:10:11.749 --> 01:10:16.584 > of givat and shearim? » 01:10:18.923 --> 01:10:20.163 uh... 01:10:20.717 --> 01:10:22.924 - I'm not sure I'm... - Israel. 01:10:23.678 --> 01:10:27.136 Jack believes that sovereign nations are entitled to self-defense. 01:10:27.223 --> 01:10:30.135 - Strongly. - Strongly believes. Yes. 01:10:33.354 --> 01:10:35.640 Oh! Ednal 01:10:37.233 --> 01:10:38.973 "an election is a moral horror. 01:10:39.068 --> 01:10:41.559 As bad as a battle, but without the blood." 01:10:41.654 --> 01:10:43.736 That's George Bernard Shaw. 01:10:45.867 --> 01:10:48.279 - Get the car. - I think that went well. 01:10:48.369 --> 01:10:51.327 - Seemed like a really nice guy. - Actually, looked pretty good, right? 01:10:51.414 --> 01:10:52.745 - Yeah. - Surprisingly robust. 01:10:53.833 --> 01:10:56.950 - Elton chambers is in. - Yeah! All right. 01:10:57.044 --> 01:11:00.457 Making it rain. He actually has a machine that makes it rain. 01:11:14.437 --> 01:11:16.769 Excuse me. Gary? Mr. zimmer? 01:11:16.856 --> 01:11:19.222 Mm-mm. Becca. Super pac. 01:11:19.901 --> 01:11:20.936 Okay. 01:11:22.487 --> 01:11:24.398 Big guy? We got a problem. 01:11:36.292 --> 01:11:37.532 Hey, everybody! 01:11:38.044 --> 01:11:40.581 Hard at work, I see. That's good, that's good. 01:11:40.671 --> 01:11:44.539 I had a couple of questions. The first is... what the fuck? 01:11:44.634 --> 01:11:48.343 What tactical genius in here thought it might be a good idea to carpet bomb 01:11:48.429 --> 01:11:51.387 a particular neighborhood in this town 01:11:51.474 --> 01:11:55.387 with flyers suggesting that colonel Jack Hastings 01:11:55.478 --> 01:12:00.097 would make sure that contraception is paid for by the government? 01:12:04.237 --> 01:12:05.443 Uh, I did. 01:12:05.530 --> 01:12:06.530 Oh-ho-ho-ho. 01:12:06.614 --> 01:12:09.697 The data showed an unusually concentrated grouping of single women in the area 01:12:09.784 --> 01:12:12.025 who are deeply interested in reproductive rights. 01:12:12.119 --> 01:12:14.735 - And you know why that is. - Well, why is not really... 01:12:14.831 --> 01:12:17.823 Because this concentrated grouping of single women, as you put it, 01:12:17.917 --> 01:12:19.498 is a convent. 01:12:20.336 --> 01:12:21.951 They are nuns. 01:12:22.046 --> 01:12:24.753 Which is how many of them are going to end up voting for us. 01:12:24.841 --> 01:12:27.048 "Nuns" of them. Zero. 01:12:27.134 --> 01:12:29.250 It's not funny. 01:12:30.054 --> 01:12:31.294 I'm not laughing. 01:12:33.683 --> 01:12:35.890 Fuck. 01:12:35.977 --> 01:12:41.597 Well, I think we can appreciate the humor in this very honest mistake, 01:12:45.152 --> 01:12:47.256 - makes it a non-story, but... - Brooke, Brooke, if I may. 01:12:47.280 --> 01:12:50.317 This is really just another perfect example of the D.C. elite 01:12:50.408 --> 01:12:53.992 coming into a place they don't understand and trying to dictate how we should live. 01:12:54.078 --> 01:12:57.115 The democrat party can't win, they're getting desperate. 01:12:57.206 --> 01:12:59.367 They don't know us, they don't want to know us. 01:12:59.458 --> 01:13:01.645 - And they look down on our values. - No. No. That's "we." 01:13:01.669 --> 01:13:04.706 - You're D.C. elite. - Oh, no. Actually, I'm from here. 01:13:04.797 --> 01:13:06.900 Faith, I didn't know that. You're from Wisconsin? 01:13:06.924 --> 01:13:09.586 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, no, "deerlaiken." I'm from "deerlaiken." 01:13:09.677 --> 01:13:10.677 What? Whoa. 01:13:10.761 --> 01:13:13.218 Wow. So this campaign has been a bit of a homecoming. 01:13:13.306 --> 01:13:17.094 - It really is, Brooke. Thank you. - No, no, no. That's a lie. 01:13:17.184 --> 01:13:19.425 - That's a lie. You're lying. - No. It's... 01:13:19.520 --> 01:13:21.886 She's ly... that's not... What are you even doing? 01:13:21.981 --> 01:13:25.599 Okay, well, as always, a great and spirited discussion. 01:13:25.693 --> 01:13:28.025 Thank you, but unfortunately, we have to leave it there. 01:13:28.529 --> 01:13:31.111 Coming up, we'll look at more of this year's hot races 01:13:31.198 --> 01:13:33.780 and how those will affect races four years from now. 01:13:33.868 --> 01:13:36.200 Why do you even lie about something like that? 01:13:36.621 --> 01:13:39.738 Honestly, I... I don't even know. 01:13:39.832 --> 01:13:43.040 "I don't even know." What do you mean you don't know? 01:13:43.127 --> 01:13:45.413 You can't just lie about something like that. 01:13:46.339 --> 01:13:48.000 You just walk away? 01:13:48.966 --> 01:13:52.003 You just told America that you're from "deerlaiken"? 01:13:52.094 --> 01:13:53.880 That's not even how you pronounce it! 01:13:54.889 --> 01:13:57.096 "Deerlaiken,” my ass! 01:13:57.767 --> 01:13:59.507 Oh, my god. 01:13:59.936 --> 01:14:02.598 She's a fucking genius. 01:14:04.440 --> 01:14:07.398 Oh, my god, I hate her so much. I hate her. 01:14:07.485 --> 01:14:10.522 I hate her. She said it, and now it's the truth. 01:14:11.197 --> 01:14:12.983 Fuck me. 01:14:26.796 --> 01:14:30.004 - Come on, let's get out of here. - Hey, Mikes! How you doing, guys? 01:14:34.387 --> 01:14:35.923 - Hello, everybody. - Hey, big guy. 01:14:36.013 --> 01:14:37.298 Hey, Gary. 01:14:37.390 --> 01:14:39.631 - Burger and bud. - Thank you very much. 01:14:39.725 --> 01:14:41.636 That looks great. Can I have one of those? 01:14:42.061 --> 01:14:43.061 No. 01:14:43.646 --> 01:14:47.230 - What you guys doing? Looking at some ads? - Yeah. They're just taking me through it. 01:14:47.316 --> 01:14:51.059 Bio, very nice. Education, that's important. 01:14:51.153 --> 01:14:53.485 Hey, are we sure that we want to be doing this here 01:14:53.572 --> 01:14:56.109 and not in faith's room or the mayor's office? 01:14:56.200 --> 01:14:57.861 Because right now, I'm not sure 01:14:57.952 --> 01:15:00.659 that our opposition knows exactly what we're about to do. 01:15:00.746 --> 01:15:03.988 And that seems unfair. No, no! Don't put them away on my account. 01:15:04.083 --> 01:15:06.449 Why don't we get one of those overhead projectors... 01:15:06.544 --> 01:15:08.230 - Stop. - That you have at a bowling alley? 01:15:08.254 --> 01:15:10.711 So everybody here can see it. Wouldn't that be good? 01:15:11.298 --> 01:15:12.754 Kurt? Come on. 01:15:14.635 --> 01:15:17.718 - Why do you talk to them like that? - Mmm! Like what? 01:15:17.805 --> 01:15:19.841 Like that, like they're idiots. 01:15:19.932 --> 01:15:21.797 Well... 01:15:22.727 --> 01:15:23.842 Listen. 01:15:25.688 --> 01:15:27.019 I saw some polls. 01:15:27.690 --> 01:15:30.451 If we don't figure this out soon, there's no way we're gonna beat her. 01:15:30.901 --> 01:15:33.267 Our demographics are so... "Her"? 01:15:33.362 --> 01:15:35.648 - Who? - Her. 01:15:36.907 --> 01:15:40.399 You said, "if we don't figure it out soon, we're not gonna be able to beat her." 01:15:40.494 --> 01:15:43.782 We're not gonna beat her candidate. Braun. Mayor braun. 01:15:43.873 --> 01:15:46.455 Herr... herr braun. 01:15:46.542 --> 01:15:49.033 - Herr, her. Same thing. - Mm-hmm. 01:15:50.254 --> 01:15:53.792 Look, Gary, I don't really understand how you guys do things in D.C., 01:15:53.883 --> 01:15:56.486 but if you're gonna work for my father, you need to treat people with respect. 01:15:56.510 --> 01:15:58.296 "With." "with." “What? 01:15:58.387 --> 01:16:01.299 Work with your father, not for. You said "for." 01:16:01.390 --> 01:16:05.679 It's a semantic thing, but it's... You know, it's an important distinction. 01:16:10.566 --> 01:16:13.308 Just so you know, they don't actually serve 01:16:13.402 --> 01:16:15.893 hamburgers and budweiser here because it's the hofbrau haus, 01:16:15.988 --> 01:16:18.229 so they would serve German food and German beers. 01:16:18.324 --> 01:16:20.189 They've been patronizing you. 01:16:25.706 --> 01:16:27.242 Just so you know, 01:16:27.333 --> 01:16:30.951 I don't even like hamburgers or budweiser, so I've been patronizing them. 01:16:31.045 --> 01:16:32.330 - Okay. - The whole time. 01:16:32.421 --> 01:16:35.629 - Did a little switcheroo. - Oh, and just so you know. 01:16:35.716 --> 01:16:38.549 Congratulations. Our campaign made the paper. 01:16:41.097 --> 01:16:43.088 Oh, god. 01:16:49.730 --> 01:16:51.721 She's so pretty. 01:16:51.816 --> 01:16:53.852 I bet she smells like pop-tarts. 01:16:58.823 --> 01:17:00.529 Is he still looking? 01:17:00.616 --> 01:17:02.656 You know, colonel Jack Hastings. 01:17:02.743 --> 01:17:04.324 - Military man. - Absolutely. 01:17:04.411 --> 01:17:06.197 - From the heartland. - Yup. 01:17:06.288 --> 01:17:08.279 - No greater place in America. - No. 01:17:08.374 --> 01:17:09.374 - Am [I right? - No. 01:17:09.458 --> 01:17:12.495 He is now part of the loony left. 01:17:12.586 --> 01:17:15.123 Not just the loony left. He's not just a democrat. 01:17:15.214 --> 01:17:16.545 He has joined the... 01:17:16.632 --> 01:17:18.463 - Squad. - Socialism. 01:17:18.551 --> 01:17:20.041 Socialism. 01:17:20.136 --> 01:17:22.252 Do you think it hurts our military 01:17:22.346 --> 01:17:25.554 fo have one of their own throw in with the democrats? 01:17:27.893 --> 01:17:29.599 I know that if I had served... 01:17:30.729 --> 01:17:32.344 [ Wouldn't like it. 01:17:32.439 --> 01:17:33.519 Mmm. 01:17:34.150 --> 01:17:35.310 Yeah. 01:17:36.193 --> 01:17:38.730 Wow, that was a harsh segment. 01:17:39.155 --> 01:17:40.986 Cutting but fair. 01:17:41.073 --> 01:17:43.940 It's like I wrote it myself last night and sent it to them, 01:17:44.034 --> 01:17:46.821 and they read it verbatim like a scene. 01:17:46.912 --> 01:17:48.072 Go to bed. 01:17:49.999 --> 01:17:51.399 What is this? What am I looking at? 01:17:51.876 --> 01:17:54.583 - Those are the... - Why are we being outspent three to one? 01:17:54.670 --> 01:17:57.582 And how do white women not realize they're backing the wrong horse? 01:17:57.673 --> 01:18:00.527 - These numbers aren't solidified. - Yeah, well, you gotta make it happen. 01:18:00.551 --> 01:18:03.543 Or you gotta find me some more fucking hispanics. 01:18:03.637 --> 01:18:05.969 Where are my fucking hispanics? 01:18:06.056 --> 01:18:10.095 I need some more fucking hispanics, Kurt! 01:18:16.775 --> 01:18:18.060 Hey, everybody. 01:18:18.569 --> 01:18:20.025 Listen. 01:18:20.112 --> 01:18:24.651 I am profoundly disappointed in the comments that I just made. 01:18:25.159 --> 01:18:28.026 My words and/or actions 01:18:28.120 --> 01:18:31.362 do not represent who I am as a person and... 01:18:31.457 --> 01:18:33.698 - A teachable moment? - It is a teachable moment. 01:18:33.792 --> 01:18:36.124 It's something I think we can all learn from. 01:18:36.879 --> 01:18:39.245 And in that way, I feel like I have given you a gift. 01:18:40.424 --> 01:18:42.152 - You're in my heart. - And from this moment on, I vow 01:18:42.176 --> 01:18:47.887 to make this office a color- and gender-neutral work environment. 01:18:49.266 --> 01:18:51.052 That is my... are you gonna get that? 01:18:52.019 --> 01:18:53.850 It's ringing off the fucking hook. 01:18:55.439 --> 01:18:57.918 - Hundred percent. - What do you mean you're sure? 01:18:57.942 --> 01:19:00.308 - I'm sure. - You're sure or you're just pretty sure? 01:19:00.402 --> 01:19:02.233 - One-hundred-percent sure. - Okay. 01:19:03.072 --> 01:19:06.064 Okay, Tina. Better not be another nun situation. 01:19:06.158 --> 01:19:07.158 [T's not 01:19:08.369 --> 01:19:10.860 hey, is your dad here? Yeah. Dad? 01:19:11.580 --> 01:19:13.491 - Yeah? - Come on in, colonel. 01:19:17.336 --> 01:19:20.373 So, um... we can't win. 01:19:23.634 --> 01:19:26.967 The people in this town are pretty set in their ways. 01:19:27.471 --> 01:19:30.463 And we lost the eight nuns. That wasn't good. 01:19:30.557 --> 01:19:33.139 So, we can't win. 01:19:35.104 --> 01:19:39.393 Well... you know, we appreciate all you've done. 01:19:39.483 --> 01:19:42.099 I mean, the campaign and... 01:19:42.861 --> 01:19:45.102 I'm just sorry we let you down, but... 01:19:45.739 --> 01:19:47.980 Well, all I can say is thank you. 01:19:49.285 --> 01:19:52.948 - Really, Gary, thank you for everything. - It was a hell of a ride. 01:19:53.038 --> 01:19:55.996 Are you shitting me? 01:19:56.083 --> 01:19:59.792 All I have to say is we can't win and you're through. 01:19:59.878 --> 01:20:01.869 - You're out. - You said we can't win. 01:20:01.964 --> 01:20:06.173 Unless. We can't win "unless." You didn't let me finish. 01:20:06.260 --> 01:20:08.967 We can't win unless it turns out 01:20:09.054 --> 01:20:12.592 that this town isn't the mayberry everybody thinks it is. 01:20:13.017 --> 01:20:15.804 I just got a little piece of intel that's kind of intriguing. 01:20:15.894 --> 01:20:20.513 So, the mayor's brother, Ziggy... He had an oxy problem. 01:20:20.607 --> 01:20:23.474 He was a roofer and got hurt on the job. 01:20:23.569 --> 01:20:26.561 Yes, well, what you might not know is that the mayor... 01:20:27.573 --> 01:20:31.282 Pulled some strings, kept him out of jail, got him into rehab. 01:20:31.368 --> 01:20:34.952 That is abuse of power, nepotism, probably some clerical shit in there. 01:20:35.039 --> 01:20:37.121 Come on, Gary. 01:20:37.207 --> 01:20:41.291 - We're the good guys, right? - Yeah, we're the good guys. 01:20:42.129 --> 01:20:43.665 When they go low... 01:20:44.214 --> 01:20:45.420 We go high. 01:20:45.507 --> 01:20:48.294 Unless we also need to go low, apparently. 01:20:48.385 --> 01:20:50.842 Only to keep those who would go lower out of power. 01:20:50.929 --> 01:20:52.419 So, when they go low, 01:20:52.514 --> 01:20:55.472 we go higher incrementally in relation to how low they went. 01:20:56.352 --> 01:20:57.592 Regrettably, yes. 01:20:57.686 --> 01:21:01.599 When they go low, we go almost as low, but we feel worse doing it. 01:21:01.690 --> 01:21:05.148 You think they thought twice about making your dad look like a pts nutcase, 01:21:05.235 --> 01:21:08.978 and I'm going low because I'm gonna tell the truth about the mayor? 01:21:09.073 --> 01:21:11.064 His brother is fragile, Gary. 01:21:11.158 --> 01:21:14.116 This town is fragile. The whole area is fragile. 01:21:14.203 --> 01:21:16.615 - Our democracy. - Oh, stop. 01:21:16.705 --> 01:21:20.038 We're not doing it, okay? People are gonna get hurt. 01:21:20.876 --> 01:21:23.333 I'm sorry, I really am, but sometimes 01:21:23.420 --> 01:21:26.787 good people have to do shitty things in service of the greater good. 01:21:27.841 --> 01:21:29.047 Isn't that right, colonel? 01:21:36.308 --> 01:21:37.514 Hey. 01:21:41.397 --> 01:21:43.137 Hey. Yeah? 01:21:44.274 --> 01:21:46.139 Gary, stop. 01:21:49.696 --> 01:21:51.232 Is this politics? 01:21:52.658 --> 01:21:56.697 It's not politics anymore, Diana. It's math. 01:21:56.787 --> 01:21:59.119 That's what an election is. It's just math. 01:21:59.206 --> 01:22:01.117 We need what they get plus one. 01:22:02.000 --> 01:22:03.240 That's all. 01:22:04.086 --> 01:22:07.670 And if I can't get that by getting more people to vote for your dad, 01:22:07.756 --> 01:22:10.748 then I have to get fewer people to vote for braun. 01:22:38.120 --> 01:22:39.235 Hi. 01:22:40.622 --> 01:22:42.203 - Come on in. - Thank you. 01:22:43.500 --> 01:22:44.865 I'm so sorry. 01:22:50.966 --> 01:22:53.753 - Hey, hey. - I mean, we have the money we need. 01:22:53.844 --> 01:22:57.837 We have more than we would need, and this would... destroy your brother. 01:22:59.183 --> 01:23:02.266 - And I'm just so sorry. - Hey. 01:23:03.812 --> 01:23:06.428 You have nothing to be sorry for. 01:23:08.025 --> 01:23:10.732 You saved us, Diana. 01:23:10.819 --> 01:23:11.854 Mm-hmm. 01:23:11.945 --> 01:23:13.856 This place was done. 01:23:13.947 --> 01:23:17.030 It's just another town in the middle of nowhere, going nowhere. 01:23:17.576 --> 01:23:21.285 And everyone agreed... Yours was the best idea we had. 01:23:21.747 --> 01:23:24.489 Unless you want to go back to the two Mikes' idea of... 01:23:24.583 --> 01:23:26.369 Ostrich meat farms. 01:23:28.086 --> 01:23:32.295 Diana, you moving back here, caring so much... 01:23:32.382 --> 01:23:34.293 I mean, this whole thing... 01:23:36.929 --> 01:23:39.887 Well, I just know how proud of you your dad is. 01:23:41.183 --> 01:23:43.048 And how proud your mom would be. 01:23:45.437 --> 01:23:49.146 And how grateful every single one of us are 01:23:49.650 --> 01:23:52.483 for what you've done and everything you've given. 01:23:54.363 --> 01:23:56.274 It's working. 01:24:01.870 --> 01:24:03.201 Okay. 01:24:08.043 --> 01:24:09.783 What do we do about Gary? 01:24:11.630 --> 01:24:13.495 Whatever Gary thinks he's got... 01:24:14.550 --> 01:24:16.290 Why don't we just give him something better? 01:24:41.118 --> 01:24:42.118 Hmm. 01:24:42.202 --> 01:24:44.055 No, forget the rehab thing. This is bigger. 01:24:44.079 --> 01:24:45.910 Obviously, you can't use my name, so just, 01:24:45.998 --> 01:24:49.582 "senior official with inside knowledge of campaign strategy.” 01:24:50.002 --> 01:24:51.663 Yes, you are welcome. 01:24:51.753 --> 01:24:53.690 - Tell me they're running it. - They are running it. 01:24:53.714 --> 01:24:55.579 - Yeah, baby! - Shit's gonna hit the fan. 01:24:55.674 --> 01:24:58.211 - Oh, feels good. - Now, the word of the day is disappointed. 01:24:58.302 --> 01:25:00.509 We are not mad at the mayor. We are not shocked. 01:25:00.596 --> 01:25:02.615 - We're just disappointed. - Yeah, I am disappointed. 01:25:02.639 --> 01:25:04.701 - I'm disappointed, too. - I mean, it's disappointing. 01:25:04.725 --> 01:25:06.306 It is. You know what? He's the mayor. 01:25:06.393 --> 01:25:08.725 - He betrayed us. - He betrayed us and it's disappointing. 01:25:08.812 --> 01:25:10.097 - I'm hurt. - But I'm not mad. 01:25:10.188 --> 01:25:11.894 - No, I'm disappointed. - Me too. 01:25:11.982 --> 01:25:15.270 Tonight we have this picture of the alleged ten-year-old love child 01:25:15.360 --> 01:25:17.191 of the Wisconsin mayor and the girl's mother. 01:25:17.279 --> 01:25:19.986 We've obscured the child's face lo protect her identity, 01:25:20.073 --> 01:25:23.236 but left enough clues so that you could probably figure it out. 01:25:23.327 --> 01:25:25.488 To discuss this important late-breaking story 01:25:25.579 --> 01:25:29.618 we go fo our panel with a feature you'll only see here on CNN, 01:25:29.708 --> 01:25:31.323 the "duodecabox.” 01:25:31.418 --> 01:25:32.749 What do you think? 01:25:32.836 --> 01:25:36.704 Bill, Diane, Liz, Carl, Barbra and... let's say, Craig. 01:25:47.142 --> 01:25:48.302 Kaylie? 01:25:48.977 --> 01:25:49.977 Kaylie. Yeah? 01:25:50.062 --> 01:25:51.927 - Can you clean this up, please? - Sure. 01:25:52.022 --> 01:25:53.853 It was an accident with a sandwich. Thank you. 01:26:18.090 --> 01:26:21.503 Hey, man. Can I talk to you about white power? 01:26:31.770 --> 01:26:33.010 No, no. 01:26:36.692 --> 01:26:40.435 It has been a hard-fought campaign, but now it's in the hands of the voters. 01:26:40.529 --> 01:26:43.441 Excuse me. There's the colonel right there. 01:26:43.532 --> 01:26:44.647 Colonel, come on in. 01:26:44.741 --> 01:26:46.447 - Hi, good morning. - You get some rest? 01:26:46.535 --> 01:26:48.651 - Yeah, we got a little bit. - Excuse us, folks. 01:26:48.745 --> 01:26:50.656 - Good morning. - Excuse us. 01:26:52.374 --> 01:26:53.534 There he is. 01:26:53.625 --> 01:26:56.162 - Billy, hey. How are you? - Colonel. Good to see you, sir. 01:26:56.253 --> 01:26:59.541 - How about a picture? - All righty. Ha ha! 01:26:59.631 --> 01:27:01.713 Come on, come on. Let's go, let's go. 01:27:01.800 --> 01:27:04.507 Oh, make sure you get this guy's ID. 01:27:04.594 --> 01:27:06.334 Okay. Billy, we're just talking to fox. 01:27:06.430 --> 01:27:07.657 - Just fox. - Hello. Good morning. 01:27:07.681 --> 01:27:08.921 Good morning, Jack. 01:27:09.850 --> 01:27:11.715 - Here. - All right. 01:27:11.810 --> 01:27:13.471 Your dad is really something. Yeah. 01:27:13.562 --> 01:27:14.914 - He's done a great job. - Yeah, yeah. 01:27:14.938 --> 01:27:15.938 Over here? 01:27:16.022 --> 01:27:18.855 - So have you. Thank you for everything. - My pleasure. 01:27:19.317 --> 01:27:21.838 I was thinking, maybe later, if you wanna watch the returns come in? 01:27:21.862 --> 01:27:24.353 Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'd love to. 01:27:25.449 --> 01:27:30.193 Oh. Shoot. You know what? I have to head back to the farm. 01:27:30.287 --> 01:27:32.369 - But I'll see you later, okay? - Okay. 01:27:33.874 --> 01:27:35.455 Diana, aren't you gonna vote? 01:27:42.716 --> 01:27:44.081 Nothing? 01:27:44.801 --> 01:27:47.543 No early returns? What about exit polling? 01:27:49.014 --> 01:27:51.130 Well, is there another precinct? 01:27:51.224 --> 01:27:55.638 Wh... where else can they vote? Was it all early voting? 01:27:57.522 --> 01:27:59.513 What do you mean nobody has voted yet? 01:27:59.608 --> 01:28:01.894 Big guy? You're gonna want to see this. 01:28:01.985 --> 01:28:04.522 Smear mayor braun with a falsehood of an illegitimate child, 01:28:04.613 --> 01:28:08.731 which, as the report you just read stated, is actually the man's dear niece. 01:28:08.825 --> 01:28:10.986 Has the Hastings campaign apologized? 01:28:11.536 --> 01:28:13.777 No, they haven't. And it's too late for that 01:28:13.872 --> 01:28:16.409 - braun continues fo focus on the issues. - Oh, fuck! 01:28:16.500 --> 01:28:19.708 And quite frankly, Brooke, the media owes the mayor an apology as well 01:28:19.795 --> 01:28:22.502 for credulously covering a poorly-sourced story... 01:28:22.589 --> 01:28:25.422 - Faith. Congratulations, well done. - What the fuck are you doing? 01:28:25.509 --> 01:28:26.999 - A new low. - Oh, yeah. 01:28:27.093 --> 01:28:29.254 Like I leaked a cocked-up story about a bastard child 01:28:29.346 --> 01:28:30.907 who happens fo be the man's fucking niece. 01:28:30.931 --> 01:28:32.571 - Please, Gary. - You fed me that bullshit 01:28:32.641 --> 01:28:34.619 - you know? Go fuck yourself. - You go fuck yourself. 01:28:34.643 --> 01:28:36.245 - You go fuck yourself. - Okay, you two. 01:28:36.269 --> 01:28:38.122 Unfortunately, we're going to have fo leave it there. 01:28:38.146 --> 01:28:39.352 Thank you so much, Brooke. 01:28:39.439 --> 01:28:41.334 - Thanks, Brooke. - Thank you so much. Thank you. 01:28:41.358 --> 01:28:42.768 We're clear. 01:28:42.859 --> 01:28:45.726 - Why would I leak this, huh? - To just make me take the bait? 01:28:45.821 --> 01:28:49.109 You didn't just wanna win. You wanted to castrate me, didn't you? 01:28:49.199 --> 01:28:51.986 If I wanted to cut your dick off, I would've done it in front of you 01:28:52.077 --> 01:28:54.614 just to see the last look of horror in your eyes. 01:28:56.248 --> 01:28:59.206 - You're telling the truth. - No shit. 01:28:59.626 --> 01:29:02.538 - What the fuck is going on here? - Evan? 01:29:02.629 --> 01:29:03.789 What... 01:29:03.880 --> 01:29:06.713 - Evan? Evan, oh, my god! - What's up, Abby? 01:29:06.800 --> 01:29:09.086 - How the hell are you? - How are you? Nice to see you. 01:29:09.177 --> 01:29:11.042 - How's everything? - Yeah, I mean, it's going. 01:29:11.972 --> 01:29:13.178 What the hell? 01:29:13.265 --> 01:29:16.223 How the hell does he know her? Is he from here? 01:29:16.309 --> 01:29:18.925 Gary, look at his shoes. I mean, really. 01:29:19.855 --> 01:29:22.767 And we have Alan to thank for bringing this man to our attention. 01:29:22.858 --> 01:29:24.598 - It's Evan. - Did I happen to mention... 01:29:24.693 --> 01:29:26.979 Oh, shit. 01:29:27.070 --> 01:29:28.401 - What? What? - Come on! 01:29:29.406 --> 01:29:33.900 So, with 100% of the vote counted, 01:29:33.994 --> 01:29:37.282 the mayoral race is tied. 01:29:37.372 --> 01:29:39.613 One vote to one vote! 01:29:41.710 --> 01:29:44.668 No! Okay... no, no, no! 01:29:44.754 --> 01:29:47.996 Wait, wait, wait! Hold on! Hold on, hold on, hold on. 01:29:48.091 --> 01:29:54.178 I, uh... I don't know exactly what's going on here, but it's weird. 01:29:54.264 --> 01:29:57.631 - Could somebody explain what's happening? - Well, we had an election. 01:29:57.726 --> 01:29:59.808 - Yes, I know that. - And we gave it our best. 01:29:59.895 --> 01:30:02.352 - Just didn't work out. - Didn't work out? Jack, come on. 01:30:02.439 --> 01:30:04.521 Do you know how much money we invested in this? 01:30:04.608 --> 01:30:06.564 Yes, if the news media is to be believed, 01:30:06.651 --> 01:30:10.815 more than 45 million dollars was raised between the two of you. 01:30:19.205 --> 01:30:21.070 Oh, shit. 01:30:21.917 --> 01:30:23.623 Did you sucker me, Jack? 01:30:24.836 --> 01:30:26.827 - I guess. - You know what? 01:30:26.922 --> 01:30:29.288 Folks, sorry, but I'm getting all that money back. 01:30:29.382 --> 01:30:32.590 - From where? - We put millions into those pacs. 01:30:33.094 --> 01:30:36.757 Well, campaign finance law says that money needn't be accounted for. 01:30:37.849 --> 01:30:40.932 Oh, my god. I gotta give it to this place. 01:30:42.771 --> 01:30:45.478 - Hey, Alan. - It's Evan. 01:30:45.565 --> 01:30:48.398 Shit weasel. You're from this town, aren't you? 01:30:48.485 --> 01:30:50.350 - Yeah. - You set this whole thing up. 01:30:50.445 --> 01:30:54.688 You set me up, huh? You are so fired. And you're going to jail! 01:30:54.783 --> 01:30:57.650 Hey! Hey, hey, hey. It was me. I did it. 01:30:58.203 --> 01:30:59.409 You? 01:31:02.540 --> 01:31:05.077 - Why? - You know... 01:31:06.002 --> 01:31:10.166 It was just this weird idea I had 'cause the town needed money. 01:31:10.840 --> 01:31:12.501 So you... 01:31:12.592 --> 01:31:16.551 I shot the video and then had Evan show it to you. 01:31:18.640 --> 01:31:22.849 We needed 750 grand over three years to keep the school from closing down. 01:31:22.936 --> 01:31:24.801 We blew way past that. 01:31:24.896 --> 01:31:27.182 We got enough to buy back the base, redevelop it. 01:31:29.693 --> 01:31:32.355 And the speech? The viral speech? 01:31:32.445 --> 01:31:33.935 Can I get a motion fo vote? 01:31:34.030 --> 01:31:36.646 Actually, I'm here about that... Fuck, what's the word? 01:31:36.741 --> 01:31:38.197 Get it. 01:31:39.035 --> 01:31:41.276 - Mike, you wanna help him with... - Yeah. 01:31:41.371 --> 01:31:42.827 - No. - Just have it low and... 01:31:43.415 --> 01:31:45.309 Just leave enough room for that road sign in there. 01:31:45.333 --> 01:31:47.019 - Am I supposed to have these glasses? - No glasses. 01:31:47.043 --> 01:31:49.250 I'm lost. 01:31:49.337 --> 01:31:52.249 Okay, dad, that's good, but you have fo leave after. 01:31:52.340 --> 01:31:55.582 All right, one more time. I guess they weren't principles. 01:31:57.012 --> 01:31:58.752 They're just hobbies. 01:32:06.938 --> 01:32:08.803 Holy shit, I think we got it. 01:32:22.662 --> 01:32:24.948 And that was really just baiting the hook. 01:32:25.040 --> 01:32:27.281 You guys took it from there. I was never expecting her. 01:32:27.375 --> 01:32:29.240 Oh, I had a fucking blast. 01:32:30.795 --> 01:32:32.581 So you used me. 01:32:34.591 --> 01:32:36.001 We used you? 01:32:37.302 --> 01:32:39.964 You guys only show up here once every four years, 01:32:40.055 --> 01:32:41.920 and only then 'cause it's a swing state. 01:32:42.015 --> 01:32:44.597 And then when it's over, you're gone. 01:32:44.684 --> 01:32:47.642 But we're still here with all the same problems we had before, 01:32:47.729 --> 01:32:50.061 just waiting around for you to come back 01:32:50.148 --> 01:32:52.764 and make the same empty promises as last time. 01:32:53.860 --> 01:32:55.600 We used the system. 01:32:55.695 --> 01:32:59.438 You make millions of dollars funneling tens of millions of dollars 01:32:59.532 --> 01:33:03.070 into this election economy. 01:33:03.828 --> 01:33:05.659 All we did is take a cut. 01:33:07.999 --> 01:33:09.114 Mmm. 01:33:10.460 --> 01:33:13.122 Well... I guess I just... 01:33:13.630 --> 01:33:17.623 I thought that maybe you and I had a little something. 01:33:23.014 --> 01:33:24.629 I'm 28. 01:33:25.934 --> 01:33:29.597 In what world would this... be okay? 01:33:32.107 --> 01:33:35.850 D.C. and la. Parts of New York. Miami. Maybe Dallas. 01:33:38.696 --> 01:33:39.981 Look. 01:33:41.241 --> 01:33:42.606 - It wasn't personal. - Mmm. 01:33:44.035 --> 01:33:46.526 - It was math. - Math. 01:33:47.997 --> 01:33:51.285 But this system? The way we elect people? 01:33:52.168 --> 01:33:55.501 It's terrifying. And exhausting. 01:33:56.214 --> 01:33:58.956 And I think it's driving us all insane. 01:34:08.726 --> 01:34:12.639 The real problem is that the media is completely complicit in this whole thing. 01:34:12.730 --> 01:34:15.597 I absolutely agree. It's like postman said in entertaining ourselves. 01:34:15.692 --> 01:34:17.808 It's that news has become entertainment. Yeah. 01:34:17.902 --> 01:34:19.608 And when that happens, it's gone. 01:34:19.696 --> 01:34:22.529 I thought he knew. I would get so nervous every time he would come in. 01:34:22.615 --> 01:34:24.885 I would just like... I couldn't get my coffee order right. 01:34:24.909 --> 01:34:27.096 - You were great. You were perfect. - I was giving him the wrong thing. 01:34:27.120 --> 01:34:31.614 - Plus, he has dreamy eyes a little bit. - He's dashing. 01:34:31.708 --> 01:34:33.414 He actually made me cry. 01:34:34.210 --> 01:34:36.292 He was like a shithead. Yeah. 01:34:36.379 --> 01:34:39.792 It metastasizes, so it keeps growing and... 01:34:39.883 --> 01:34:42.716 Well, it becomes sort of like any sort of autoimmune disorder. 01:34:42.802 --> 01:34:45.134 - Yeah. - It's like lupus. You know what I mean? 01:34:45.221 --> 01:34:47.803 - That's actually a really great metaphor. - It's a simile. 01:34:47.891 --> 01:34:50.724 - It's like... 'Cause you said... - 'Cause I said, "it's like." 01:34:50.810 --> 01:34:53.010 - You said, "it's like." - Yeah, right. It's like lupus. 01:34:54.522 --> 01:34:56.604 What a clusterfuck. 01:34:57.525 --> 01:34:59.311 Amen. 01:35:04.157 --> 01:35:05.192 How we looking? 01:35:05.283 --> 01:35:08.116 Well, they're saying these back acres 01:35:08.203 --> 01:35:11.536 are gonna become the over-55 community health center. 01:35:11.623 --> 01:35:14.865 Madison has promised a satellite campus for the front. 01:35:14.959 --> 01:35:15.994 Okay. 01:35:16.085 --> 01:35:18.451 And you know that we have to redo the septic on the back 50. 01:35:18.546 --> 01:35:20.036 - We heard all about it. - Okay. 01:35:20.131 --> 01:35:22.372 - Hey, you. - Hey, you. 01:35:22.967 --> 01:35:24.753 She is something, huh? 01:35:24.844 --> 01:35:25.844 Hmm. 01:35:31.476 --> 01:35:32.761 Are you listening to me? 01:35:36.439 --> 01:35:37.895 Are you listening to me? 01:35:39.734 --> 01:35:41.065 Are you listening fo me? 01:35:41.611 --> 01:35:44.523 Oh, Gary, honey. I'm just so excited. 01:35:44.614 --> 01:35:46.650 I can't wait until we get the café tables in. 01:35:46.741 --> 01:35:50.780 I think people are really gonna like those a lot, you know? 01:35:50.870 --> 01:35:53.532 And then we can put the umbrellas up. 01:35:53.623 --> 01:35:57.707 And people can just sit outside and have coffee and, you know... 01:35:57.794 --> 01:35:59.705 Are you... are you listening to me? 01:36:00.380 --> 01:36:03.292 Are you listening to me? Hey, fuck up! 01:36:03.383 --> 01:36:05.840 Hey, fuck up. Are you listening to me? 01:36:05.927 --> 01:36:08.384 Yes, yes, yes. I'm listening to you. 01:36:08.471 --> 01:36:11.053 You don't open a dossier for less than two million dollars. 01:36:11.140 --> 01:36:13.597 I know. That's what I'm talking to them about right now. 01:36:13.685 --> 01:36:16.552 - Two million dollars. - God, I hate you. 01:36:16.646 --> 01:36:17.646 Ditto. 01:36:20.108 --> 01:36:23.350 Gary? Gary, are you there? 01:36:24.696 --> 01:36:25.856 Gary? 01:36:26.739 --> 01:36:28.104 Yo, Gary. 01:36:56.477 --> 01:36:58.684 Colonel Jack Hastings, deerlaken. 01:36:58.771 --> 01:37:00.727 Did the media 1all for a false narrative 01:37:00.751 --> 01:37:10.791 Telegram Channel and Instagram Page .:: @bollbolljan_com ::. 01:37:13.911 --> 01:37:15.697 I mean, these are newsworthy stories. 01:37:15.788 --> 01:37:18.200 We're absolutely in the right fo cover them. 01:37:18.291 --> 01:37:21.954 It is literally our job to cover the news. 01:37:22.045 --> 01:37:25.128 But isn't there a way to report the news without so much speculation, 01:37:25.214 --> 01:37:27.000 without a lalse sense of urgency 01:37:27.091 --> 01:37:31.551 that causes us fo breathlessly report facts that maybe are not facts, 01:37:31.637 --> 01:37:35.596 and are we framing these stories on an artificial right-left axis 01:37:35.683 --> 01:37:38.595 because that's how our pundit economy is set up? 01:37:38.686 --> 01:37:40.347 Is there a better way to do this? 01:37:45.943 --> 01:37:48.685 I'm just kidding. Unfortunately, we have fo leave it there. 01:37:48.780 --> 01:37:50.862 Thank you all for watching. 01:37:50.948 --> 01:37:52.609 She's kidding! 01:37:58.831 --> 01:38:01.288 J talking like we used fo do j» 01:38:02.710 --> 01:38:05.417 j it was always me and you » 01:38:06.589 --> 01:38:10.753 j» hold on, darling » 01:38:11.719 --> 01:38:14.085 j» this body is yours j» 01:38:14.180 --> 01:38:18.549 j this body is yours and mine » 01:38:19.644 --> 01:38:24.479 > well, hold on, my darling > 01:38:25.066 --> 01:38:27.808 j» this mess was yours j» 01:38:29.195 --> 01:38:31.937 j» now your mess is mine j» 01:38:43.418 --> 01:38:45.659 > Your mess is mine » 01:38:46.587 --> 01:38:48.669 j» see you in the marketplace... » 01:38:48.756 --> 01:38:50.963 could something like this happen? 01:38:51.050 --> 01:38:55.168 Legally, this could absolutely happen. 01:38:55.263 --> 01:39:00.178 Somebody could create a political organization, 01:39:00.268 --> 01:39:04.181 a so-called outside group, a super pac, 527, 01:39:04.272 --> 01:39:07.309 raise an unlimited amount of money 01:39:07.400 --> 01:39:10.563 and then choose to give that money 01:39:10.653 --> 01:39:13.315 to another organization... a charity... 01:39:13.406 --> 01:39:16.239 And use it for public purposes. 01:39:16.325 --> 01:39:19.567 And you don't need the donor's consent to do that. 01:39:20.163 --> 01:39:21.949 The problem we have is that 01:39:22.039 --> 01:39:25.247 none of the pieces of the system are working today. 01:39:25.334 --> 01:39:28.747 You have regulators like the federal election commission 01:39:28.838 --> 01:39:30.749 that don't have a quorum, can't meet, 01:39:30.840 --> 01:39:33.707 and when they do, they disagree on what the law is. 01:39:33.801 --> 01:39:37.510 You have congress deadlocked, so it can't rewrite the laws. 01:39:37.597 --> 01:39:43.137 You have the supreme court that thinks almost nothing is corrupt 01:39:43.227 --> 01:39:47.561 and that citizens won't think the sale of access... 01:39:47.648 --> 01:39:53.063 What the court calls ingratiation in return for giving money to candidates... 01:39:53.154 --> 01:39:54.394 Is a problem. 01:39:54.489 --> 01:39:55.729 So, to sum up, 01:39:55.823 --> 01:39:58.735 we currently have hundreds of millions to billions of dollars 01:39:58.826 --> 01:40:00.862 that is untraceable, 01:40:01.621 --> 01:40:04.033 that can pour into groups 01:40:04.123 --> 01:40:07.081 that are actually coordinating with candidates 01:40:07.168 --> 01:40:10.035 who end up having to spend a good amount of their time 01:40:10.129 --> 01:40:14.714 raising more and more money to keep up with the arms race that is occurring. 01:40:14.800 --> 01:40:19.134 Uh, the money continues to pour in and corrupt 01:40:19.222 --> 01:40:23.135 not just where they spend their time and how they spend their time, 01:40:23.226 --> 01:40:27.310 but on the types of legislation that they would even bring to the fore. 01:40:27.730 --> 01:40:33.600 And the one group that would be charged with regulating this spigot, 01:40:33.694 --> 01:40:37.903 uh, doesn't meet 'cause there aren't enough of them. 01:40:38.324 --> 01:40:39.439 Yes. 01:40:43.454 --> 01:40:45.285 I realize that's not helpful to you, but... 01:40:45.373 --> 01:40:47.034 It is very helpful. Thank you. 01:40:48.543 --> 01:40:51.330 > Your mess is mine » 01:40:54.632 --> 01:40:57.214 > your mess is mine »