WEBVTT 00:00:00.074 --> 00:00:12.074 ..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::.. ‏.:: www.bolboljan.net ::. 00:00:15.098 --> 00:00:19.770 I seen it fell down I 00:00:19.811 --> 00:00:23.232 I didn't make a sound I 00:00:23.273 --> 00:00:28.237 I can you live here anymore I 00:00:29.321 --> 00:00:33.659 I what's outside the door I 00:00:33.700 --> 00:00:37.204 I home is on the floor I 00:00:37.246 --> 00:00:42.209 I can you live here anymore I 00:00:42.793 --> 00:00:47.756 I it's taking longer than you've seen back home I 00:01:17.536 --> 00:01:22.291 I seen it fell down I 00:01:22.332 --> 00:01:25.627 I didn't make a sound I 00:01:25.669 --> 00:01:30.632 I can you live here anymore I 00:01:31.550 --> 00:01:36.263 I what's outside the door I 00:01:36.305 --> 00:01:39.474 I home is on the floor I 00:01:39.516 --> 00:01:44.479 I can you be here anymore I 00:01:45.355 --> 00:01:49.318 I it's taken longer than you've seen back home I 00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:50.319 I mean we work together here- 00:01:50.360 --> 00:01:51.820 Frankie. Excuse me. 00:01:51.862 --> 00:01:53.739 Hi. How are you? 00:01:53.780 --> 00:01:56.533 I couldn't help but notice that you touched your hair 00:01:56.575 --> 00:01:58.869 and then you touched the glass right afterwards. 00:01:58.910 --> 00:02:03.123 This isn't a fucking barn and it's also not rocket surgery. 00:02:03.165 --> 00:02:04.541 - I'm sorry. - Rocket surgery? 00:02:04.583 --> 00:02:06.376 What's rocket surgery? 00:02:08.378 --> 00:02:10.607 Can you please straighten your body and get back to work? 00:02:10.631 --> 00:02:11.631 Thank you. 00:02:12.966 --> 00:02:16.219 Wow. 00:02:29.650 --> 00:02:32.110 I watching how I 00:02:32.152 --> 00:02:37.366 I you take something I 00:02:37.407 --> 00:02:40.077 I all you have to do I 00:02:40.118 --> 00:02:42.621 I watching how I 00:02:42.663 --> 00:02:48.168 I you take something I 00:02:48.210 --> 00:02:50.712 I blah ay ah ah I 00:02:50.754 --> 00:02:53.423 I watching how I 00:02:53.465 --> 00:02:56.301 I you take something I 00:02:59.471 --> 00:03:00.639 hi, it's mama. 00:03:00.681 --> 00:03:02.015 You never pick up the phone. 00:03:02.057 --> 00:03:03.600 Have you been drinking? 00:03:03.642 --> 00:03:05.602 I think you should come home if you're not 00:03:05.644 --> 00:03:07.979 going to school and you're just making those weird videos. 00:03:20.409 --> 00:03:21.410 I'm s o rry 7 00:03:23.078 --> 00:03:24.830 I can't understand you through the- 00:03:24.871 --> 00:03:25.871 isaid... 00:03:27.833 --> 00:03:29.459 0h. You filming me? 00:03:29.501 --> 00:03:30.460 -No, I... come clean. 00:03:30.502 --> 00:03:32.337 No, I'm... 00:03:32.379 --> 00:03:35.382 You were in the frame, but I was filming the... 00:03:35.424 --> 00:03:36.776 There's all these people and there's this painting 00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:38.135 just hanging there. 00:03:38.176 --> 00:03:39.176 Can I see? 00:03:40.721 --> 00:03:41.721 Yeah. 00:03:50.188 --> 00:03:52.232 Yeah, no, that's kinda great. 00:03:52.274 --> 00:03:53.274 Thank you. 00:03:54.443 --> 00:03:55.670 All right, you gotta hold my cheese 00:03:55.694 --> 00:03:57.070 and you gotta take care of my head. 00:03:58.488 --> 00:03:59.948 All right, ladies and gentlemen. 00:04:01.408 --> 00:04:04.286 Hey folks, can I, can I have everybody's attention please? 00:04:04.327 --> 00:04:05.996 On the wall behind me, 00:04:06.037 --> 00:04:08.331 it's not just a pretty picture to distract you 00:04:08.373 --> 00:04:11.460 while you're waiting in line to take a shit. 00:04:12.419 --> 00:04:14.504 And to be honest, the way that you guys are 00:04:14.546 --> 00:04:17.257 treating this painting is upsetting my friend. 00:04:17.299 --> 00:04:19.718 This is a man's soul right here. 00:04:19.760 --> 00:04:21.428 Yeah. 00:04:21.470 --> 00:04:24.723 And he's, he's bearing it in the hopes 00:04:24.765 --> 00:04:28.477 that for a split second, you will go beyond your own lives. 00:04:28.518 --> 00:04:31.730 Go beyond your need to just buy things. 00:04:33.231 --> 00:04:34.858 So ladies and gentlemen... 00:04:37.068 --> 00:04:38.068 This is... 00:04:39.529 --> 00:04:40.529 This is a way out. 00:04:41.865 --> 00:04:43.450 You know? 00:04:44.493 --> 00:04:45.410 Ah, ha ha ha ha, ho! 00:04:45.452 --> 00:04:47.204 So eat it up. 00:04:47.245 --> 00:04:49.915 Don't eat shoes. Don't eat skateboards. 00:04:49.956 --> 00:04:53.293 Don't eat nail Polish. Eat the art. 00:04:53.335 --> 00:04:54.753 Eat the art! Eat the art! 00:04:54.795 --> 00:04:56.338 Eat the art! 00:04:56.379 --> 00:04:57.482 It tastes good. It tastes really good. 00:04:57.506 --> 00:04:59.007 Eat the art. 00:04:59.049 --> 00:05:00.467 All together now. 00:05:00.509 --> 00:05:01.510 Eat the art. 00:05:01.551 --> 00:05:03.136 Eat the art, eat the art, 00:05:03.178 --> 00:05:05.222 eat the art, eat the art, 00:05:05.263 --> 00:05:06.515 eat the art. 00:05:06.556 --> 00:05:07.849 They don't want you to hear this, 00:05:07.891 --> 00:05:09.893 they want you to keep shopping! 00:05:42.425 --> 00:05:43.552 Was that a smile? 00:05:46.847 --> 00:05:47.806 No, I just have something in my eye. 00:05:47.848 --> 00:05:49.599 Will you look at it? 00:05:49.641 --> 00:05:50.827 I really think I have something in my eye. 00:05:50.851 --> 00:05:52.602 - Ew, ew. - No, don't you see it? 00:05:52.644 --> 00:05:53.830 Is it an eyelash or like a bug or something? 00:05:53.854 --> 00:05:54.646 -Do you see... so fucking gross. 00:05:54.688 --> 00:05:56.273 Hey Frankie. 00:05:56.314 --> 00:05:57.607 Romeo. 00:05:57.649 --> 00:05:58.649 You done flirting? 00:05:59.359 --> 00:06:01.444 Uh, Judy needs you to sub in. 00:06:01.486 --> 00:06:02.487 What? 00:06:02.529 --> 00:06:03.738 For her act tonight. 00:06:03.780 --> 00:06:05.156 The baby's not coming, so... 00:06:07.242 --> 00:06:08.242 That's pretty rough. 00:06:09.119 --> 00:06:10.119 Shots. 00:06:13.498 --> 00:06:14.624 Let's get weird. 00:06:25.969 --> 00:06:27.679 Wasn't he wonderful? 00:06:27.721 --> 00:06:28.680 Oh my gosh. 00:06:28.722 --> 00:06:30.599 I'm so happy to see you. 00:06:30.640 --> 00:06:32.201 Hello, I'm Judy and this is my husband, Marty, over there. 00:06:32.225 --> 00:06:34.185 Say hello Marty. 00:06:35.437 --> 00:06:36.187 Now, let's bring out faith. 00:06:36.229 --> 00:06:37.856 Oh my god. 00:06:49.492 --> 00:06:54.456 I I pictured a rainbow I 00:06:55.165 --> 00:06:59.002 I you held it in your hands I 00:06:59.044 --> 00:07:03.840 I I had flashes I 00:07:03.882 --> 00:07:04.882 I but you saw I 00:07:10.055 --> 00:07:10.972 Hey. 00:07:11.014 --> 00:07:12.182 Hay is for horses. 00:07:12.223 --> 00:07:13.223 Kandinsky. 00:07:14.601 --> 00:07:15.810 From the mall last week. 00:07:19.522 --> 00:07:20.962 I gotta talk to this girl real quick. 00:07:22.692 --> 00:07:24.569 Oh yeah. 00:07:24.611 --> 00:07:26.404 Yeah. You lost me my job. 00:07:26.446 --> 00:07:27.864 What? 00:07:27.906 --> 00:07:29.449 So you're a cockroach now? 00:07:33.078 --> 00:07:34.496 - Yeah. - What are you doing? 00:07:34.537 --> 00:07:35.777 - That'll be a buck. - Uh, okay. 00:07:35.914 --> 00:07:37.624 Go around. 00:07:37.666 --> 00:07:38.768 Hey, I really want to talk to you. 00:07:38.792 --> 00:07:40.001 Can I have your number? 00:07:42.087 --> 00:07:43.171 No, I don't got one. 00:07:43.213 --> 00:07:44.798 You don't have a phone? 00:07:44.839 --> 00:07:46.466 Well, I don't need one. 00:07:48.677 --> 00:07:50.053 How do I get a hold of you? 00:07:50.095 --> 00:07:51.471 Hollywood and ivar. 00:07:51.513 --> 00:07:53.598 - Hollywood and ivar? - Yeah. 00:07:53.640 --> 00:07:54.599 The corner? 00:07:54.641 --> 00:07:56.434 On the roof, after five. 00:07:56.476 --> 00:07:57.769 Okay. 00:07:57.811 --> 00:07:59.312 No, not yet! Yo, wait, we're walkin'! 00:07:59.354 --> 00:08:01.648 Pedestrians got the right of way, man. 00:08:01.690 --> 00:08:02.690 Shit. 00:08:12.617 --> 00:08:14.077 All right, show me your best. 00:08:17.080 --> 00:08:19.916 Not bad. 00:08:19.958 --> 00:08:23.211 How did I do, cockroach man? 00:08:23.253 --> 00:08:24.587 That was... 00:08:25.714 --> 00:08:28.508 That's a five. Ah, come on. 00:08:28.550 --> 00:08:29.550 Five? 00:08:36.766 --> 00:08:37.684 What do you call this? 00:08:37.726 --> 00:08:38.935 It's a Jack knife. 00:08:38.977 --> 00:08:40.145 - Ajack knife? - Yup. 00:08:41.479 --> 00:08:43.565 And what do you call that cockroach costume? 00:08:44.983 --> 00:08:45.983 That's my day job. 00:08:46.776 --> 00:08:48.820 Think you can do better? 00:08:48.862 --> 00:08:51.906 Uh, yes. 00:08:51.948 --> 00:08:52.948 Hey. 00:08:56.995 --> 00:09:01.249 Yeah! 00:09:01.291 --> 00:09:02.375 Seriously? 00:09:02.417 --> 00:09:03.710 It's like a five. 00:09:03.752 --> 00:09:05.670 What am I gonna say? It's a five. 00:09:05.712 --> 00:09:07.589 I filmed your speech and I posted it on YouTube 00:09:07.630 --> 00:09:09.841 and it's doing really well. 00:09:09.883 --> 00:09:11.509 Like really, really, really well, 00:09:11.551 --> 00:09:14.137 and it's already got like, 2000 views. 00:09:15.430 --> 00:09:16.973 Uh, is that a lot? 00:09:17.015 --> 00:09:18.767 For me, yeah. 00:09:18.808 --> 00:09:20.578 I only have like, you know, barely 100 subscribers. 00:09:20.602 --> 00:09:21.954 I don't know, people are commenting things 00:09:21.978 --> 00:09:23.338 and it's all really positive and... 00:09:24.731 --> 00:09:25.731 That's good. 00:09:30.904 --> 00:09:32.113 How was that? 00:09:32.155 --> 00:09:33.198 That's a seven. 00:09:34.824 --> 00:09:36.076 Sammy, time to go. 00:09:36.117 --> 00:09:37.577 Say goodbye to your friend link. 00:09:37.619 --> 00:09:39.412 But we're not finished. 00:09:39.454 --> 00:09:41.289 That's all right, we'll finish later. 00:09:43.583 --> 00:09:45.085 Okay? 00:09:45.126 --> 00:09:46.753 Come on, Sammy. 00:09:46.795 --> 00:09:48.004 Thanks for watching her. 00:09:48.922 --> 00:09:49.922 Yeah, sure. 00:09:52.967 --> 00:09:54.010 Good for you. 00:09:58.640 --> 00:10:00.600 I'd like to give you my information 00:10:00.642 --> 00:10:03.603 so that if you want to find me, you can. 00:10:03.645 --> 00:10:05.563 I work at magic alley bar. 00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:09.192 Is that a bar for magicians? 00:10:09.234 --> 00:10:10.994 No, it's, sometimes there are magicians there 00:10:11.027 --> 00:10:12.570 but it's just a regular bar. 00:10:12.612 --> 00:10:14.030 It's not even that far from here. 00:10:16.783 --> 00:10:19.119 Oh, I'm gonna check roach man's schedule. 00:10:19.160 --> 00:10:20.160 He's a busy guy. 00:10:21.371 --> 00:10:23.206 Okay, I'm gonna put it in your shoe. 00:10:41.099 --> 00:10:43.184 I don't get people's taste anymore. 00:10:43.226 --> 00:10:44.561 People don't have taste anymore. 00:10:44.602 --> 00:10:45.812 They are just horny. 00:10:47.814 --> 00:10:49.399 Well that really depressing. 00:10:50.483 --> 00:10:52.902 Makes me wanna cry. 00:10:54.028 --> 00:10:55.697 - It's good, right? - Yeah. 00:10:55.738 --> 00:10:57.365 You know what else makes me really sad? 00:10:57.407 --> 00:10:59.159 Well hello boys and girls. 00:10:59.200 --> 00:11:01.578 Don't you just love feathers and bells? 00:11:03.663 --> 00:11:04.414 I'm hungry. 00:11:04.455 --> 00:11:05.415 You little baby. 00:11:05.456 --> 00:11:06.708 She needs her milk. 00:11:06.749 --> 00:11:08.293 Nice, warm milk. 00:11:08.334 --> 00:11:10.628 Goo goo goo goo goo. 00:11:10.670 --> 00:11:11.880 Yes. 00:11:11.921 --> 00:11:14.090 Oh, wait, something smells. 00:11:14.132 --> 00:11:15.592 That could be some gas. 00:11:16.634 --> 00:11:18.887 Burp, baby, burp. 00:11:18.928 --> 00:11:20.722 - Some gas. - Stop! 00:11:20.763 --> 00:11:21.598 Whoa! 00:11:21.639 --> 00:11:22.891 What the? 00:11:22.932 --> 00:11:25.018 Stop, stop! 00:11:25.059 --> 00:11:26.269 Let me see this. 00:11:26.311 --> 00:11:27.604 I'm gonna get you out of here. 00:11:27.645 --> 00:11:28.897 - Trust me. - The gas man. 00:11:28.938 --> 00:11:31.900 Oh! Listen up, you motherfudgers! 00:11:33.359 --> 00:11:35.695 Whoa. 00:11:35.737 --> 00:11:37.822 This shit isn't funny. 00:11:37.864 --> 00:11:39.490 - Hey! - This shit's just mean. 00:11:39.532 --> 00:11:41.910 Yo, let the old lady finish her act, you freak. 00:11:41.951 --> 00:11:43.870 Oh, yo, you want to come up 00:11:43.912 --> 00:11:45.431 and suck on the bottle while everybody laughs? 00:11:45.455 --> 00:11:48.208 Be my guest, you Nazi cracker! 00:11:48.249 --> 00:11:49.250 Nazi cra... 00:11:50.710 --> 00:11:53.004 Hey! Take your ass back to the loony bin, why don't you? 00:11:53.838 --> 00:11:55.215 - Yeah. - Oh, this is so funny, 00:11:55.256 --> 00:11:57.217 isn't it, Marty? 00:11:57.258 --> 00:11:58.468 Fuck you! 00:11:58.509 --> 00:11:59.653 Oh, look, he knows how to run! 00:11:59.677 --> 00:12:01.095 Fuck. 00:12:10.605 --> 00:12:12.732 That's Hollywood, when even the bugs 00:12:12.774 --> 00:12:14.317 love the spotlight. 00:12:17.946 --> 00:12:18.821 - You okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:12:18.863 --> 00:12:20.156 I got it. I got it. 00:12:20.198 --> 00:12:21.658 Okay, okay, okay. 00:12:21.699 --> 00:12:22.927 - You good? - Hey, he's with me. 00:12:22.951 --> 00:12:23.910 He's with me. He's my friend. 00:12:23.952 --> 00:12:24.911 - He's my friend. - I'm good. 00:12:24.953 --> 00:12:25.953 Come on. 00:12:26.829 --> 00:12:27.829 Jesus Christ. 00:12:30.708 --> 00:12:32.377 Hey, hey, hey. 00:12:32.418 --> 00:12:33.544 Hey. 00:12:33.586 --> 00:12:35.255 Thank you for the service. 00:12:35.296 --> 00:12:37.840 The first class service. Thank you. 00:12:37.882 --> 00:12:38.883 Oh my god. 00:12:45.056 --> 00:12:47.517 You do know that they pay me to do that. 00:12:48.768 --> 00:12:49.768 Well... 00:12:54.649 --> 00:12:56.769 Well, you didn't seem like you were enjoying yourself. 00:13:03.241 --> 00:13:06.911 So is uh, is that kinda your thing? 00:13:06.953 --> 00:13:09.122 To dress up in animal costumes? 00:13:11.582 --> 00:13:12.582 Well, you know, 00:13:14.335 --> 00:13:17.297 if you're in a costume it's easier to spot the other freaks. 00:13:21.843 --> 00:13:23.386 Can I film you? 00:13:23.428 --> 00:13:25.638 Uh, sure, weirdo. 00:13:29.183 --> 00:13:31.102 If you clean me up right here. 00:13:31.144 --> 00:13:34.731 Okay. 00:13:38.943 --> 00:13:40.611 - Right here? - Yeah. 00:13:40.653 --> 00:13:45.616 Okay. 00:14:06.721 --> 00:14:10.767 Will you tell me why you don't like cell phones? 00:14:10.808 --> 00:14:13.019 Will you tell me why you don't smoke crack? 00:14:14.312 --> 00:14:17.357 This is why. 'Cause where are you? 00:14:18.274 --> 00:14:19.567 I'm right here. 00:14:19.609 --> 00:14:20.401 Nah, you gotta kick the habit. 00:14:20.443 --> 00:14:22.070 Hey. That's mine. 00:14:22.111 --> 00:14:23.071 Hey, hey, hey. Please give that back. 00:14:23.112 --> 00:14:25.073 Hey. 00:14:27.658 --> 00:14:29.869 Oh! 00:14:32.997 --> 00:14:34.916 - Do you eat peanuts? - What? 00:14:34.957 --> 00:14:36.292 Can you eat peanuts? 00:14:36.334 --> 00:14:37.814 There's a lot of peanuts in Thai food. 00:14:38.419 --> 00:14:41.089 I'm gonna be at the Thai place on Bronson tomorrow 00:14:41.130 --> 00:14:42.130 if you want to come. 00:14:42.924 --> 00:14:44.050 Noon. 00:14:44.092 --> 00:14:45.092 Okay. 00:14:45.718 --> 00:14:47.470 My name is link, by the way. 00:14:50.139 --> 00:14:51.140 Here comes your baby. 00:14:51.182 --> 00:14:52.182 Wait. 00:14:52.850 --> 00:14:53.810 Fuck! 00:14:53.851 --> 00:14:54.811 Wow, she caught it. 00:14:54.852 --> 00:14:56.396 The crowd goes wild. 00:14:57.730 --> 00:14:58.730 Asshole. 00:15:03.444 --> 00:15:04.671 That's crazy. 00:15:04.695 --> 00:15:05.613 What the... 00:15:05.655 --> 00:15:06.656 Ooh. 00:15:06.697 --> 00:15:07.740 Wee-ooh. 00:15:07.782 --> 00:15:08.533 Ooh. 00:15:08.574 --> 00:15:09.574 Whoa, whoa. 00:15:10.284 --> 00:15:11.284 What the? 00:15:12.537 --> 00:15:14.163 Magic. 00:15:14.205 --> 00:15:15.498 Wow. 00:15:15.540 --> 00:15:17.083 So, what, do you come here often? 00:15:17.125 --> 00:15:18.310 No, please. Please talk to me. 00:15:18.334 --> 00:15:19.210 Talk to me. Talk to me. 00:15:19.252 --> 00:15:20.252 Please come back. 00:15:21.796 --> 00:15:23.131 Just for a little bit. 00:15:23.172 --> 00:15:24.674 All right, what do you wanna know? 00:15:27.176 --> 00:15:28.678 Tell me about your parents. 00:15:28.719 --> 00:15:29.719 They're dead. 00:15:30.680 --> 00:15:31.431 Really? 00:15:31.472 --> 00:15:33.057 Yeah. 00:15:33.099 --> 00:15:33.933 I'm really sorry. 00:15:33.975 --> 00:15:34.975 It's all right. 00:15:36.185 --> 00:15:37.185 It was a long time ago. 00:15:39.147 --> 00:15:40.690 Measles. 00:15:40.731 --> 00:15:42.233 Measles? 00:15:42.275 --> 00:15:44.318 It was the civil war, so, you know. 00:15:45.278 --> 00:15:48.156 Did your parents really die or are you... 00:15:48.197 --> 00:15:49.490 Yeah. 00:15:49.532 --> 00:15:51.951 Okay, so tell me this. 00:15:51.993 --> 00:15:53.703 How does that feel? 00:15:53.744 --> 00:15:55.163 Okay. 00:15:55.204 --> 00:15:56.706 Yeah. 00:16:02.170 --> 00:16:04.380 Why don't you say something really profound and moving, 00:16:04.422 --> 00:16:05.923 just like that? 00:16:05.965 --> 00:16:07.300 Come on, you can do it. 00:16:07.341 --> 00:16:09.093 No, but seriously. 00:16:09.135 --> 00:16:10.895 What do you wanna do with your life, Frankie? 00:16:13.931 --> 00:16:15.475 I don't know. 00:16:15.516 --> 00:16:17.202 Okay, well, if you did know, what would it be? 00:16:17.226 --> 00:16:18.996 I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing right now. 00:16:19.020 --> 00:16:22.356 I don't know what I want to do. I don't know. 00:16:22.398 --> 00:16:24.150 You want to make art? 00:16:24.192 --> 00:16:25.693 Sure, I want to make art. 00:16:25.735 --> 00:16:27.236 Wow. 00:16:27.278 --> 00:16:29.030 That's great. 00:16:29.071 --> 00:16:30.549 All right, well what kind of stuff you want to make? 00:16:30.573 --> 00:16:32.700 I don't know. 00:16:32.742 --> 00:16:36.329 I want to make things that make other people feel things. 00:16:38.331 --> 00:16:39.999 All right. Tell me about that scar. 00:16:45.254 --> 00:16:46.254 Why'd you do that? 00:16:47.256 --> 00:16:49.050 It's beautiful. It's a part of you. 00:16:49.091 --> 00:16:50.843 All right. The intimacy levels are too high. 00:16:50.885 --> 00:16:51.885 Abort mission. 00:16:54.805 --> 00:16:56.285 Did you even watch the video I posted? 00:16:57.975 --> 00:17:00.186 People really responded to it. To you. 00:17:01.145 --> 00:17:03.147 You don't even know how hard it is 00:17:03.189 --> 00:17:04.524 to get views on the Internet. 00:17:05.483 --> 00:17:07.985 Will you just look at the comments? 00:17:14.450 --> 00:17:17.036 "The only thing in doubt about your speech 00:17:17.078 --> 00:17:19.288 is whether it makes me want to puke 00:17:19.330 --> 00:17:21.165 or kill myself and then puke." 00:17:22.833 --> 00:17:24.252 They signed it sincerely everyone. 00:17:24.293 --> 00:17:26.087 That's so sweet. 00:17:26.128 --> 00:17:27.630 Thank you for showing me that. 00:17:27.672 --> 00:17:29.191 There are more positive ones than nasty ones. 00:17:29.215 --> 00:17:30.275 All right, so what do you wanna do? 00:17:30.299 --> 00:17:31.299 Do you want to make art, 00:17:32.385 --> 00:17:35.471 or do you want to chase affirmation from faceless strangers? 00:17:44.230 --> 00:17:45.648 Both. 00:17:45.690 --> 00:17:46.816 Get out of my house. 00:17:48.276 --> 00:17:49.902 I'm moving in. 00:17:49.944 --> 00:17:51.862 There's not enough space for two. 00:17:51.904 --> 00:17:52.905 See. 00:17:54.031 --> 00:17:55.300 It's super cramped. 00:17:55.324 --> 00:17:56.659 It actually kind of works. 00:18:01.539 --> 00:18:06.502 J' shriek like moaning lovers I 00:18:07.169 --> 00:18:10.506 I all the love is flowing I 00:18:13.134 --> 00:18:14.468 And you better be better tonight. 00:18:16.679 --> 00:18:20.224 I all the love is flowing from my heart I 00:18:31.527 --> 00:18:35.448 I flowing from my heart I 00:18:35.489 --> 00:18:40.286 I all the love is flowing from my heart I 00:19:01.724 --> 00:19:02.892 Pssl 00:19:08.898 --> 00:19:09.899 What are you doing? 00:19:11.609 --> 00:19:12.860 Trying to keep a low profile. 00:19:12.902 --> 00:19:14.445 They don't much like me here. 00:19:14.487 --> 00:19:15.696 Remember? 00:19:15.738 --> 00:19:16.738 You got a phone? 00:19:19.909 --> 00:19:21.452 I thought phones were crack cocaine. 00:19:21.494 --> 00:19:23.996 Well, to defeat the beast, first you gotta 00:19:24.038 --> 00:19:24.872 get inside its belly. 00:19:24.914 --> 00:19:25.914 Look... 00:19:27.750 --> 00:19:29.168 I'm gonna cut to the chase, kid. 00:19:31.420 --> 00:19:32.713 I think you got potential. 00:19:32.755 --> 00:19:33.995 I wanna make your next picture. 00:19:36.258 --> 00:19:37.301 - Really? - Yeah. 00:19:40.137 --> 00:19:41.222 What? Now? 00:19:41.263 --> 00:19:42.303 Yeah, right now, let's go. 00:19:43.140 --> 00:19:44.100 I'm in the middle of my shift. 00:19:44.141 --> 00:19:45.226 Eh, fuck your shift. 00:19:46.143 --> 00:19:47.269 Come on. 00:19:47.311 --> 00:19:48.896 Not everyone can fuck the shift. 00:19:48.938 --> 00:19:50.773 Some people have to go to their shifts. 00:19:50.815 --> 00:19:52.775 Some people. You want to be those some people? 00:19:53.943 --> 00:19:55.194 You wanna be what then? 00:19:56.529 --> 00:19:58.322 The other kind of person. 00:19:58.364 --> 00:19:59.824 So show me. Fuck the shift. 00:20:00.825 --> 00:20:02.034 Fuck the shift. 00:20:02.076 --> 00:20:02.827 Fuck the shift. 00:20:02.868 --> 00:20:03.828 Fuck this place. 00:20:03.869 --> 00:20:05.329 Fuck this place. 00:20:05.371 --> 00:20:07.051 Fuck dressing up in a fucking baby costume. 00:20:07.081 --> 00:20:08.332 Yeah, yeah. 00:20:08.374 --> 00:20:09.125 Fuck people who shit in sinks. 00:20:09.166 --> 00:20:10.251 Fuck people who- 00:20:10.292 --> 00:20:11.293 - wait, wh... - Yeah. 00:20:11.335 --> 00:20:13.421 Fuck my boss, fuck my uniform. 00:20:13.462 --> 00:20:14.462 Okay, let's go. 00:20:16.590 --> 00:20:18.259 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 00:20:18.300 --> 00:20:19.635 Whoa, where's your car? 00:20:19.677 --> 00:20:20.594 I sold it. 00:20:20.636 --> 00:20:21.387 I had to pay rent. 00:20:21.429 --> 00:20:22.471 Are you serious? 00:20:22.513 --> 00:20:24.390 Mhm. Let's go. 00:20:31.480 --> 00:20:33.566 Three, two, one, blast off. 00:20:33.607 --> 00:20:36.193 Whoa, watch the pole, watch the pole. 00:20:36.235 --> 00:20:37.820 On to the new world! 00:20:42.616 --> 00:20:43.784 What if I covered your eyes? 00:20:43.826 --> 00:20:44.886 I'd be like don't cover my eyes. 00:20:44.910 --> 00:20:46.370 No, no, no, no, no, no. 00:20:54.712 --> 00:20:55.712 What have I done? 00:20:59.550 --> 00:21:02.511 You did an amazing thing. 00:21:02.553 --> 00:21:04.764 I walked out on my job. 00:21:04.805 --> 00:21:08.559 I have no money and no idea how to get any. 00:21:10.644 --> 00:21:11.854 This is the beginning. 00:21:12.813 --> 00:21:14.231 Of unemployment. 00:21:15.566 --> 00:21:18.402 Well, yeah, but of everything. 00:21:18.444 --> 00:21:20.279 Now you could just concentrate on your art. 00:21:21.322 --> 00:21:22.322 That's a great idea. 00:21:23.908 --> 00:21:25.451 What are you doing? 00:21:27.286 --> 00:21:28.286 I'm uncomfortable. 00:21:30.831 --> 00:21:31.831 Get out. 00:21:33.292 --> 00:21:34.502 We gotta cast demons out. 00:21:35.628 --> 00:21:37.022 - Gotta get the demons out. - No, no, no, no. 00:21:37.046 --> 00:21:38.547 That's dumb. 00:21:38.589 --> 00:21:39.608 - No demons. - Yeah, no, it's dumb. 00:21:39.632 --> 00:21:41.091 You gotta be dumb to be smart. 00:21:42.343 --> 00:21:43.302 No, no, no, no, no. 00:21:43.344 --> 00:21:44.303 This is dumb. 00:21:44.345 --> 00:21:45.721 We have to cast 'em out. 00:21:45.763 --> 00:21:47.348 - We gotta cast 'em out. - What are you- 00:21:47.389 --> 00:21:48.599 cast out the demons. 00:21:48.641 --> 00:21:51.143 Come on, I don't wanna dance alone. 00:21:51.185 --> 00:21:55.523 - Come on, dance with me. - J' come on and be with me I 00:21:55.564 --> 00:21:59.068 “ 00:21:59.109 --> 00:22:02.822 I my love keeps growing on I 00:22:02.863 --> 00:22:06.659 I so come on, lead I 00:22:06.700 --> 00:22:10.621 I been cookin' myself for you I 00:22:10.663 --> 00:22:15.376 I you mean that much to me I 00:22:15.417 --> 00:22:20.047 I for the rest, rest of my life I 00:22:27.721 --> 00:22:29.306 Oh, you didn't have to move. 00:22:29.348 --> 00:22:30.408 I just put it right in your pocket. 00:22:30.432 --> 00:22:31.559 Okay fine, I won't move. 00:22:31.600 --> 00:22:35.354 No. 00:22:39.984 --> 00:22:42.695 I see your iovin', babe I 00:22:42.736 --> 00:22:43.755 - okay, you're a ninja. - Mhm. 00:22:43.779 --> 00:22:45.281 I'm a ninja. 00:22:45.322 --> 00:22:47.283 You give one attack and one retreat. 00:22:47.324 --> 00:22:48.534 Quick, south paw. 00:22:56.208 --> 00:23:00.963 I love you, love you I 00:23:01.005 --> 00:23:03.132 I love you, baby, all night I 00:23:03.173 --> 00:23:05.384 I think my mom thinks I'm a fuck up. 00:23:11.265 --> 00:23:12.349 You are a fuck up. 00:23:15.144 --> 00:23:16.228 She's a fuck up. 00:23:17.688 --> 00:23:18.688 I'm a fuck up. 00:23:22.610 --> 00:23:24.028 Everybody's a fuck up right now. 00:23:24.069 --> 00:23:26.322 That's just the setup. 00:23:26.363 --> 00:23:28.824 No one feels like they belong, you know? 00:23:30.492 --> 00:23:31.952 People just exploding. 00:23:34.455 --> 00:23:36.790 You know, there are people out there right now 00:23:36.832 --> 00:23:38.751 who don't identify as human. 00:23:38.792 --> 00:23:43.631 They think they're animals trapped in the wrong body, 00:23:43.672 --> 00:23:45.341 and they're driving corporations nuts 00:23:45.382 --> 00:23:47.635 because of how do you market sneakers to someone 00:23:47.676 --> 00:23:48.676 who thinks he's a cat? 00:23:52.598 --> 00:23:53.682 What? 00:23:53.724 --> 00:23:54.724 That's it. 00:23:55.601 --> 00:23:56.602 What did I say? 00:23:56.644 --> 00:23:59.063 Exactly. You have to say stuff. 00:23:59.104 --> 00:24:01.064 Like the animal stuff? What are you talking about? 00:24:05.778 --> 00:24:06.778 Okay. 00:24:12.534 --> 00:24:14.036 That's what people are responding to, 00:24:14.078 --> 00:24:15.746 is you saying stuff, so all I have to do 00:24:15.788 --> 00:24:17.665 is figure out how to capture you saying stuff 00:24:17.706 --> 00:24:20.501 without it just being you saying stuff. 00:24:27.049 --> 00:24:28.443 Bud, you're putting me as such a bad pos... 00:24:28.467 --> 00:24:29.718 I've seen a lot of fake ids. 00:24:29.760 --> 00:24:31.011 This is so terrible. 00:24:31.053 --> 00:24:33.055 This is such a terrible idea. 00:24:33.097 --> 00:24:35.599 Like the sticker's coming off. Do better. 00:24:35.641 --> 00:24:36.642 Just go get drunk. 00:24:37.768 --> 00:24:38.768 Don't get too drunk. 00:24:47.444 --> 00:24:48.444 Pssl 00:24:51.615 --> 00:24:52.615 What's up? 00:24:53.742 --> 00:24:55.703 We're starting a band. 00:24:55.744 --> 00:24:56.829 Are, are you guys high? 00:24:57.830 --> 00:24:59.707 We need a writer. We suck. 00:24:59.748 --> 00:25:01.417 Are you in? 00:25:01.458 --> 00:25:02.793 You need a writer? For what? 00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:06.005 A secret project. 00:25:09.466 --> 00:25:10.467 Oh shit, mom, I gotta go. 00:25:10.509 --> 00:25:11.301 Yo, yo, what's up? 00:25:11.343 --> 00:25:13.053 Yo, what's up? 00:25:13.095 --> 00:25:14.572 Thanks for tuning in and checking out this video. 00:25:14.596 --> 00:25:15.639 Checking out this video. 00:25:15.681 --> 00:25:17.766 Rock effect. 00:25:17.808 --> 00:25:20.078 My motherfucking life and all the dope ass shit around me. 00:25:20.102 --> 00:25:22.062 Parents use YouTube as a babysitter. 00:25:22.104 --> 00:25:24.356 Like my little niece who's seven years old, 00:25:24.398 --> 00:25:26.734 she worships these guys who do and say nothing 00:25:26.775 --> 00:25:28.861 and promote a lifestyle of doing and saying nothing. 00:25:28.902 --> 00:25:30.154 I don't even need this phone. 00:25:31.530 --> 00:25:32.489 Is it okay? 00:25:32.531 --> 00:25:33.490 All right. 00:25:33.532 --> 00:25:34.950 I need it. 00:25:34.992 --> 00:25:36.672 They're sucked in and they're like watching 00:25:36.702 --> 00:25:38.304 the same kind of videos that they're always watching 00:25:38.328 --> 00:25:39.597 and at the end, boom, it's a satire. 00:25:39.621 --> 00:25:41.457 Yo, why is my existence so lit? 00:25:41.498 --> 00:25:42.958 Why is my life so lit? 00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:44.877 Let's start with this eagle's nest behind me. 00:25:44.918 --> 00:25:46.253 I know how to shoot it, too. 00:25:48.005 --> 00:25:49.757 You gotta see this. 00:25:49.798 --> 00:25:51.776 Yo, eight million big ones, eight million big ones. 00:25:51.800 --> 00:25:53.677 We've got to do everything we can 00:25:53.719 --> 00:25:54.946 to make our thing look as crappy as their thing. 00:25:54.970 --> 00:25:56.055 That's brilliant. 00:25:56.096 --> 00:25:57.639 All right. Let's do it. 00:25:57.681 --> 00:26:00.642 Seven bedrooms and dos mother Hubbard piscinas. 00:26:01.852 --> 00:26:03.353 Is that right? Is that Spanish? 00:26:03.395 --> 00:26:05.314 Think that's Italian. 00:26:05.355 --> 00:26:07.274 Regulation height for a hoop is like 10 feet. 00:26:07.316 --> 00:26:08.776 I keep mine at seven. You know why? 00:26:08.817 --> 00:26:10.110 I got a small penis. 00:26:10.152 --> 00:26:11.737 Hashtag be yourself. 00:26:11.779 --> 00:26:13.697 That's my message to the world is be yourself. 00:26:13.739 --> 00:26:15.616 That's what I do and look what I got. 00:26:15.657 --> 00:26:17.743 Hashtag swimming pool, hashtag cocktail, 00:26:17.785 --> 00:26:19.161 hashtag this pineapple life. 00:26:19.203 --> 00:26:21.080 Yo, it's so important to be yourself, 00:26:21.121 --> 00:26:22.640 but only your best parts only, only your pretty parts. 00:26:22.664 --> 00:26:23.749 Not that weak shit. 00:26:23.791 --> 00:26:25.209 Yo, is that right? Is that... 00:26:25.250 --> 00:26:26.585 That's the message, right? 00:26:30.339 --> 00:26:32.358 When I see other celebrities like on the 'gram and shit, 00:26:32.382 --> 00:26:33.818 I feel kind of bad about myself, so I buy more stuff. 00:26:33.842 --> 00:26:35.719 Hashtag when, hashtag why, hashtag wow. 00:26:35.761 --> 00:26:36.946 Which is great, 'cause then I just end up 00:26:36.970 --> 00:26:39.515 with so much, you know, stuff. 00:26:39.556 --> 00:26:41.558 Stuff makes me feel like, 00:26:41.600 --> 00:26:44.019 like less than empty inside, you know? 00:26:44.061 --> 00:26:45.854 Hashtag when is it too much? 00:26:45.896 --> 00:26:47.606 Hashtag when is it all going to stop? 00:26:47.648 --> 00:26:48.816 Hey you! 00:26:48.857 --> 00:26:50.317 - Shit! - Get off my property! 00:26:50.359 --> 00:26:51.586 We got the wrong house! 00:26:51.610 --> 00:26:52.611 - Sorry! - Get outta here! 00:26:52.653 --> 00:26:54.738 I got, I got confused! 00:26:54.780 --> 00:26:55.781 I got confused! 00:26:57.908 --> 00:26:59.576 - Come on, come on, come on! - Fuck! 00:26:59.618 --> 00:27:00.577 Jesus. 00:27:00.619 --> 00:27:01.745 All right, where are we? 00:27:03.038 --> 00:27:05.833 Oh my god, I'm spiraling right now. 00:27:08.293 --> 00:27:09.545 I've been getting it all wrong. 00:27:09.586 --> 00:27:11.463 I've been poisoning y'all. 00:27:11.505 --> 00:27:12.548 You can't be following me. 00:27:13.841 --> 00:27:14.984 I ain't nothin'. I ain't nobody. 00:27:15.008 --> 00:27:16.385 I'm no one. 00:27:16.426 --> 00:27:18.595 Like I'm no one special, man. 00:27:18.637 --> 00:27:20.597 We gotta wake ourselves up. 00:27:20.639 --> 00:27:22.432 Oh, it feels so good to be free. 00:27:25.227 --> 00:27:27.563 I'm reborn, man, I'm reborn. 00:27:28.772 --> 00:27:29.815 Can you relate? 00:27:30.858 --> 00:27:32.401 Someone stole my pants. 00:27:32.442 --> 00:27:33.442 Woo! 00:27:34.695 --> 00:27:36.822 We're going back to nature, baby. 00:27:36.864 --> 00:27:38.407 Yo, you don't need any of that shit. 00:27:38.448 --> 00:27:39.783 You don't need any of that shit. 00:27:39.825 --> 00:27:40.868 Can I get an amen? 00:27:40.909 --> 00:27:42.244 Can I get an amen baby? 00:27:42.286 --> 00:27:43.579 Who's with me? 00:27:43.620 --> 00:27:44.913 Y'all feelin' me? 00:27:44.955 --> 00:27:45.831 Can you relate? 00:27:45.873 --> 00:27:46.874 Can you relate? 00:27:46.915 --> 00:27:49.209 Yeah! You can relate! 00:27:49.251 --> 00:27:50.460 You're feelin' me! 00:27:50.502 --> 00:27:51.837 - Woo! - What the hell? 00:27:52.921 --> 00:27:53.881 Man, got any spare pants? 00:27:53.922 --> 00:27:55.382 Hey. Hey man, hey. 00:27:55.424 --> 00:27:56.800 Oh what's up, baby? 00:27:56.842 --> 00:27:57.902 - What's up? - Face that way. 00:27:57.926 --> 00:27:59.887 - Hey, I know you! - Face that wall. 00:27:59.928 --> 00:28:01.388 I know you. 00:28:01.430 --> 00:28:02.950 I just woke up in my soul, in my heart. 00:28:03.640 --> 00:28:04.808 You feelin' me baby? 00:28:04.850 --> 00:28:07.060 I know you feelin' me baby, yes. 00:28:07.102 --> 00:28:08.478 Can I get an amen? 00:28:08.520 --> 00:28:09.980 Where am I? 00:28:10.022 --> 00:28:11.273 Where am I? 00:28:11.315 --> 00:28:13.901 Oh, I love this town. 00:28:13.942 --> 00:28:16.403 I love you. I love you so much. 00:28:17.487 --> 00:28:18.697 Holy shit. 00:28:18.739 --> 00:28:20.908 Holy shit. You gotta see this. 00:28:20.949 --> 00:28:21.950 Whoa. 00:28:21.992 --> 00:28:23.327 Look at all the comments. 00:28:23.368 --> 00:28:24.929 "I want this guy to run me over in a truck 00:28:24.953 --> 00:28:26.413 and then reverse over my dead body." 00:28:26.455 --> 00:28:27.206 That's interesting. 00:28:27.247 --> 00:28:28.457 Oh my god. 00:28:28.498 --> 00:28:30.209 Juanpa just sent me a selfie. 00:28:30.250 --> 00:28:31.477 He wants to do an interview with you. 00:28:31.501 --> 00:28:32.920 Juanpa's huge. 00:28:32.961 --> 00:28:34.087 Juanpa's huge. 00:28:34.129 --> 00:28:35.356 I don't, I don't know who that is. 00:28:35.380 --> 00:28:36.882 Guys, guys, look at the views. 00:28:51.355 --> 00:28:54.858 We are officially live, ladies and gentlemen. 00:28:54.900 --> 00:28:56.109 Welcome. 00:28:56.151 --> 00:28:57.694 This is a very special episode 00:28:57.736 --> 00:28:59.446 because we got a very rare guest. 00:28:59.488 --> 00:29:02.449 Please give it up for no one special. 00:29:02.491 --> 00:29:04.159 Woo hoo hoo! 00:29:04.201 --> 00:29:06.095 And by the way, I'm not being a terrible friend here. 00:29:06.119 --> 00:29:07.788 That's how you call yourself, right? 00:29:07.829 --> 00:29:09.873 That's my name. It's my given name. 00:29:09.915 --> 00:29:10.832 - No. - At birth, yeah. 00:29:10.874 --> 00:29:11.917 No one special. 00:29:11.959 --> 00:29:13.502 Wow. 00:29:13.543 --> 00:29:14.979 No one is like one word and then special. 00:29:15.003 --> 00:29:16.588 Like we're all kind of no one special. 00:29:16.630 --> 00:29:17.381 That's just kind of the idea, right? 00:29:17.422 --> 00:29:18.924 Yeah. 00:29:18.966 --> 00:29:20.276 We're all the same. We're all equal. 00:29:20.300 --> 00:29:21.527 Okay. Okay, let's try this again. 00:29:21.551 --> 00:29:22.970 - When I clap... - Yeah. 00:29:23.011 --> 00:29:26.056 You, you iikejump and fall into frame. 00:29:26.098 --> 00:29:28.016 All right. 00:29:28.058 --> 00:29:29.017 So I'll clap and I'll stop and then you jump in. 00:29:29.059 --> 00:29:30.018 All right. Let's try it. 00:29:30.060 --> 00:29:30.978 - Okay? - Yep. 00:29:31.019 --> 00:29:31.937 Here it is. 00:29:31.979 --> 00:29:32.979 No one special! 00:29:33.981 --> 00:29:36.400 Oh my god! 00:29:36.441 --> 00:29:38.777 I've never seen juanpa this happy before. 00:29:38.819 --> 00:29:40.028 A couple of questions for you. 00:29:40.070 --> 00:29:41.070 Go on. 00:29:41.905 --> 00:29:42.739 Can I just do this real quick? 00:29:42.781 --> 00:29:43.991 Yeah. 00:29:44.032 --> 00:29:44.992 Sorry, I've been wanting like, 00:29:45.033 --> 00:29:46.576 since I like laid eyes on you, 00:29:46.618 --> 00:29:47.536 I've just been wanting to like... 00:29:47.577 --> 00:29:48.203 His name is Isaac. 00:29:48.245 --> 00:29:48.996 Oh wow. 00:29:49.037 --> 00:29:50.914 Pretty deep. 00:29:50.956 --> 00:29:52.433 Pretty deep first moments with no one special. 00:29:52.457 --> 00:29:54.018 I just feel like we need experience other... 00:29:54.042 --> 00:29:55.603 All right, all right, do we first bump now? 00:29:55.627 --> 00:29:56.962 No, I just hump you with my beard. 00:29:57.004 --> 00:29:58.022 Can we just fist bump? 00:29:58.046 --> 00:29:59.923 Okay, anyways. Boom, bam. 00:29:59.965 --> 00:30:01.925 Your boyfriend's fine. 00:30:01.967 --> 00:30:03.569 - He's not my boyfriend. - He's not my boyfriend. 00:30:03.593 --> 00:30:05.554 I uh, I represent juanpa. 00:30:05.595 --> 00:30:08.307 So what's what's the next thing for no one special? 00:30:08.348 --> 00:30:09.409 What's the next thing for no one... 00:30:09.433 --> 00:30:10.976 I don't know. 00:30:11.018 --> 00:30:12.036 - I'm just here with juanpa. - Yeah? 00:30:12.060 --> 00:30:13.228 Here with my hero juanpa. 00:30:13.270 --> 00:30:14.580 Eh ah, I'm not your hero, come on. 00:30:14.604 --> 00:30:16.356 You guys need anything, 00:30:16.398 --> 00:30:17.398 I want you to... 00:30:19.985 --> 00:30:24.948 Give me a call. 00:30:25.615 --> 00:30:27.451 Hey, just take a photo of it. 00:30:27.492 --> 00:30:29.328 Yeah, I got it. 00:30:29.369 --> 00:30:30.412 I'm Mark Schwartz. 00:30:31.788 --> 00:30:33.433 - I'm the guy behind the guy. - I got a idea, yeah. 00:30:33.457 --> 00:30:35.792 I want to invite these guys to join us on something. 00:30:35.834 --> 00:30:37.336 - You want to go with me? - Bring it. 00:30:37.377 --> 00:30:39.004 Me and juanpa have an invitation for you. 00:30:39.046 --> 00:30:40.797 We want you to join us tomorrow night 00:30:40.839 --> 00:30:43.884 at four stone cemetery or go to any graveyard near you, 00:30:43.925 --> 00:30:45.260 and we, we're gonna have a party. 00:30:45.302 --> 00:30:47.054 You're gonna bring your cell phones, 00:30:47.095 --> 00:30:48.614 but then you're going to place it on a grave, 00:30:48.638 --> 00:30:50.199 you're going to turn the screen to white, 00:30:50.223 --> 00:30:51.784 and together for one night only we're going 00:30:51.808 --> 00:30:53.161 to experience something real together. 00:30:53.185 --> 00:30:54.603 We are going to ghost the Internet. 00:30:54.644 --> 00:30:56.855 You, me... 00:30:58.440 --> 00:31:00.275 And juanpa. 00:31:00.317 --> 00:31:01.919 Would you rather have everything and understand nothing 00:31:01.943 --> 00:31:04.279 or understand everything and have nothing? 00:31:04.321 --> 00:31:06.031 Um, have everything. 00:31:06.073 --> 00:31:07.467 Yeah, you'd understand nothing, though. 00:31:07.491 --> 00:31:08.784 Yeah. 00:31:08.825 --> 00:31:10.011 That's the premise of the joke. 00:31:10.035 --> 00:31:11.912 - That's hard. - But no, 00:31:11.953 --> 00:31:13.806 I would just eat donuts and ride around in a baby carriage 00:31:13.830 --> 00:31:16.041 with a chauffeur and I would buy sunglasses all day. 00:31:16.083 --> 00:31:17.209 Yes, I'd wear a muumuu. 00:31:17.250 --> 00:31:18.502 I would wear no underwear. 00:31:18.543 --> 00:31:20.170 Do another one. Do another one. 00:31:20.212 --> 00:31:21.439 Uh, would you rather have permanent diarrhea 00:31:21.463 --> 00:31:22.714 or have penises for fingers? 00:31:22.756 --> 00:31:24.007 You'd have penises for fingers. 00:31:24.049 --> 00:31:25.425 Penis for fingers, obviously. 00:31:25.467 --> 00:31:27.052 Yeah, because like, it'd be like this. 00:31:27.094 --> 00:31:28.678 Hey, nice to meet you. 00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:29.888 And then just like whoa. 00:31:31.056 --> 00:31:32.856 Everyone would know how you felt all the time. 00:31:32.891 --> 00:31:34.518 Yeah. 00:31:34.559 --> 00:31:35.661 That's the only danger 'cause it's like people 00:31:35.685 --> 00:31:36.645 will get uncomfortable. 00:31:36.686 --> 00:31:39.272 Don't tread on that. 00:31:39.314 --> 00:31:40.649 - Okay. - You can walk over it. 00:31:44.069 --> 00:31:45.404 Whoa. 00:31:45.445 --> 00:31:46.696 Whoa. 00:31:46.738 --> 00:31:47.738 Holy shit. 00:31:51.326 --> 00:31:54.037 People came. 00:31:54.079 --> 00:31:58.083 I no one wants to be the odd one out at times I 00:31:58.125 --> 00:31:59.668 I no one wants to be the I 00:31:59.709 --> 00:32:01.336 all right. Let's go say hi. 00:32:03.755 --> 00:32:04.506 Yeah. 00:32:04.548 --> 00:32:05.548 Do, um... 00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:09.302 Is that no one special? 00:32:09.344 --> 00:32:12.097 Hey, it's no one special. 00:32:12.139 --> 00:32:13.890 - You're even bigger in person. - Hi. 00:32:13.932 --> 00:32:15.267 Hi, how are you? 00:32:15.308 --> 00:32:17.436 Guys, what the hell? 00:32:19.104 --> 00:32:21.064 We didn't expect anybody to come. 00:32:21.106 --> 00:32:23.316 Yo, yo, yo! 00:32:23.358 --> 00:32:24.985 This is crazy, this is crazy. 00:32:25.026 --> 00:32:26.862 Yo, yo, don't wake the dead. 00:32:26.903 --> 00:32:28.339 So seriously, anybody who's still got a cellphone, 00:32:28.363 --> 00:32:30.282 put 'em on a grave and let 'em light up 00:32:30.323 --> 00:32:32.701 like fireflies all through the night. 00:32:33.785 --> 00:32:35.954 And then we'll just hang! 00:32:35.996 --> 00:32:37.289 Hey, this is all that matters 00:32:37.330 --> 00:32:39.332 is that we're all here. 00:32:39.374 --> 00:32:41.084 Oh my god. 00:32:41.126 --> 00:32:42.646 It's crazy how good at this he is, huh? 00:32:55.140 --> 00:32:57.017 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no 00:32:57.058 --> 00:32:59.978 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no selfies. 00:33:00.020 --> 00:33:01.622 Tonight this is just about us hanging out together. 00:33:01.646 --> 00:33:03.315 All of us together. How about a hug? 00:33:03.356 --> 00:33:05.400 Give you a hug? Yeah, I'll give you a hug. 00:33:05.442 --> 00:33:07.402 Put 'em on a gravestone, set the screen to white. 00:33:07.444 --> 00:33:09.088 Let the battery die out like we said, okay? 00:33:09.112 --> 00:33:11.907 Get rid of them phones man. 00:33:11.948 --> 00:33:13.074 Whoa, bud. 00:33:13.116 --> 00:33:14.326 Yo, who's got a drink? 00:33:17.037 --> 00:33:18.246 All right, that's good. 00:33:18.288 --> 00:33:19.448 Who's got something to smoke? 00:33:28.340 --> 00:33:30.300 Cheers, dad. I liked this one. 00:33:30.342 --> 00:33:31.635 Peach apple iced tea. 00:33:43.813 --> 00:33:45.357 Hello, this is Mark Schwartz. 00:33:45.398 --> 00:33:47.084 I hear things are really going great down there 00:33:47.108 --> 00:33:49.986 at the cemetery, which I don't often say. 00:33:50.028 --> 00:33:52.739 Why don't we meet at my office Monday morning, 10:00 am? 00:33:55.116 --> 00:33:56.368 Who wants that? 00:34:03.208 --> 00:34:05.794 Be right back. 00:34:22.102 --> 00:34:24.187 You're my little brother, I love you. 00:34:24.229 --> 00:34:26.815 - Yeah, yeah. - I just wanna talk to you. 00:34:26.856 --> 00:34:31.027 It's not a fuckin' ruse. It's not a fuckin' ruse. 00:34:31.069 --> 00:34:32.612 Bullshit. 00:34:32.654 --> 00:34:34.334 What the fuck? Where are you fucking going? 00:34:36.283 --> 00:34:38.660 Where are you fucking going? 00:35:28.376 --> 00:35:30.128 I was in the car with my dad. 00:35:34.090 --> 00:35:36.259 We hit a tree and he died instantly. 00:35:39.554 --> 00:35:41.514 He was taking me to a friend's house. 00:35:44.184 --> 00:35:49.356 I wanted to go to this party. 00:36:28.561 --> 00:36:30.522 No, doesn't even work. 00:36:33.024 --> 00:36:34.359 That's disgusting. 00:36:47.956 --> 00:36:49.436 Yeah, who gives a fuck about this guy? 00:36:50.875 --> 00:36:53.378 Who's that guy that you were talking to in the graveyard? 00:37:01.302 --> 00:37:02.053 Hey. 00:37:02.095 --> 00:37:03.346 Hey. 00:37:03.388 --> 00:37:06.182 Hey. 00:37:06.224 --> 00:37:07.224 -Hey -hey. 00:37:12.439 --> 00:37:14.315 These marketing assholes. Story of my life. 00:37:14.357 --> 00:37:15.418 I'm on mute. Don't worry about it. 00:37:15.442 --> 00:37:17.235 How are you? 00:37:17.277 --> 00:37:19.404 Sorry I've been on this call for six hours. 00:37:19.446 --> 00:37:22.824 Hey guys. This is Mark chiming in here again. 00:37:22.866 --> 00:37:25.410 $500,000 or go away. 00:37:25.452 --> 00:37:27.203 You've got 30 seconds to say yes. 00:37:27.245 --> 00:37:28.663 Every time you don't say yes, 00:37:28.705 --> 00:37:30.665 it's going to go up 10 grand, all right? 00:37:30.707 --> 00:37:32.000 Mute. 00:37:32.041 --> 00:37:33.042 I swear to god. 00:37:33.084 --> 00:37:34.169 Um, here's a bad sign. 00:37:34.210 --> 00:37:35.378 We're a sports company. 00:37:35.420 --> 00:37:37.005 We'd like to work with you. 00:37:37.046 --> 00:37:38.315 Every single executive who works with us is fat. 00:37:38.339 --> 00:37:39.883 Mark, we can hear you. 00:37:39.924 --> 00:37:40.924 Hello? 00:37:45.472 --> 00:37:46.472 No one special. 00:37:47.307 --> 00:37:48.683 It's a pleasure. 00:37:48.725 --> 00:37:50.268 I haven't seen everything, 00:37:50.310 --> 00:37:51.770 but what I've seen, I really love. 00:37:51.811 --> 00:37:53.480 And you want to make some money off us. 00:37:53.521 --> 00:37:54.874 The little I've seen, you've changed me, 00:37:54.898 --> 00:37:56.250 and I think I don't want to hoard that. 00:37:56.274 --> 00:37:57.501 I want everyone to feel that way. 00:37:57.525 --> 00:37:58.401 Oh, okay. 00:37:58.443 --> 00:37:59.694 So you want us to do porn? 00:37:59.736 --> 00:38:01.029 No, I don't want you to do porn. 00:38:01.070 --> 00:38:02.906 I think he's being metaphorical 00:38:02.947 --> 00:38:04.091 because we don't want to put the cart before the horse. 00:38:04.115 --> 00:38:05.617 Right. 00:38:05.658 --> 00:38:07.344 So you used another metaphor in that metaphor 00:38:07.368 --> 00:38:08.578 to explain that one? 00:38:08.620 --> 00:38:09.996 You're a writer, right? 00:38:10.038 --> 00:38:10.789 - Yeah. - Okay, good. 00:38:10.830 --> 00:38:11.830 Here's the deal. 00:38:12.624 --> 00:38:13.624 You've got talent. 00:38:14.959 --> 00:38:17.003 Do you know where the word talent comes from? 00:38:17.045 --> 00:38:18.213 It's middle English. 00:38:18.254 --> 00:38:19.714 Originally talent was money. 00:38:19.756 --> 00:38:21.633 How many talents do you have? 00:38:21.674 --> 00:38:23.843 Let's say you make a video about a gorilla 00:38:23.885 --> 00:38:25.845 eating spaghetti who speaks French. 00:38:25.887 --> 00:38:27.680 A thousand people watch it. 00:38:27.722 --> 00:38:30.141 The algorithm hears that, sends it to the powers 00:38:30.183 --> 00:38:33.019 that be at YouTube, which is really not YouTube, 00:38:33.061 --> 00:38:34.437 it's their tube. 00:38:34.479 --> 00:38:36.606 They say, hey, we see a lot of people 00:38:36.648 --> 00:38:38.650 are coming to you with views. 00:38:38.691 --> 00:38:40.527 Well, guess what? 00:38:40.568 --> 00:38:43.112 You qualify for a Adidas video in front of your thing. 00:38:43.154 --> 00:38:44.239 Would you like to do that? 00:38:44.280 --> 00:38:45.907 We'll give you $10,000. 00:38:46.866 --> 00:38:47.866 That's great, right? 00:38:49.452 --> 00:38:51.746 What you want to do, you go to the brands yourself 00:38:51.788 --> 00:38:54.541 or they come to you if you are gaining enough traction 00:38:54.582 --> 00:38:57.627 and you aren't represented by anything, stay yourself. 00:38:57.669 --> 00:38:59.963 Then subway comes to you. $200,000. 00:39:00.004 --> 00:39:02.298 That was a $200,000 sub. 00:39:02.340 --> 00:39:03.591 You want us to endorse brands. 00:39:03.633 --> 00:39:05.176 No, no, no. They endorse you. 00:39:05.218 --> 00:39:06.177 You don't endorse them. 00:39:06.219 --> 00:39:07.929 That's how we work. 00:39:07.971 --> 00:39:09.448 Do you want to be the guys that made two cool videos 00:39:09.472 --> 00:39:11.474 and then disappeared into the ether? 00:39:13.351 --> 00:39:15.061 Or do you want to be no one special? 00:39:18.231 --> 00:39:20.149 I got you the money. I got you the stage. 00:39:20.191 --> 00:39:21.860 I'm drafting you right now into the army. 00:39:21.901 --> 00:39:23.444 Let's go. Tonight we parachute in. 00:39:23.486 --> 00:39:24.964 Jake, you're the writer, you need to write it. 00:39:24.988 --> 00:39:26.531 Link, you're gonna act it, 00:39:26.573 --> 00:39:29.075 and I'm gonna figure how to fucking do it. 00:39:29.117 --> 00:39:32.453 So we have phone or no phone. 00:39:32.495 --> 00:39:34.414 That's the question. 00:39:34.455 --> 00:39:38.501 Then we have the idea of a game show, a talk show. 00:39:38.543 --> 00:39:40.503 What if we put those two ideas together? 00:39:40.545 --> 00:39:42.422 Internet killed the TV star? 00:39:43.548 --> 00:39:44.591 No. Bad. 00:39:44.632 --> 00:39:45.633 Bad idea. 00:39:45.675 --> 00:39:46.675 Good idea? 00:39:57.520 --> 00:39:58.622 Oh, sorry, sorry. 00:39:58.646 --> 00:39:59.939 Morning. 00:40:08.364 --> 00:40:09.407 Oh, shit. 00:40:10.283 --> 00:40:11.242 You all right? 00:40:11.284 --> 00:40:12.284 Yeah. 00:40:16.414 --> 00:40:17.373 Okay. 00:40:17.415 --> 00:40:18.415 - Bye. - Bye. 00:40:19.751 --> 00:40:20.751 Bye, baby. 00:40:31.679 --> 00:40:32.680 You need a ride? 00:40:32.722 --> 00:40:34.349 No, I'm good. Thanks. 00:40:34.390 --> 00:40:35.391 Good work today, man. 00:40:52.825 --> 00:40:54.953 I should go, too. 00:40:54.994 --> 00:40:55.994 Of course. 00:40:56.704 --> 00:40:58.373 Yeah, 'cause I gotta, you know, 00:40:58.414 --> 00:40:59.642 I got a big night ahead of me, so... 00:40:59.666 --> 00:41:00.750 Oh yeah? 00:41:00.792 --> 00:41:01.792 Yeah. 00:41:02.835 --> 00:41:03.836 Oh yeah, that thing. 00:41:03.878 --> 00:41:05.296 Sorry. I forgot. 00:41:05.338 --> 00:41:07.423 - Oh it's a thing, so... - Yeah. 00:41:07.465 --> 00:41:09.485 I wouldn't want to get in the way of you doing a thing. 00:41:09.509 --> 00:41:10.509 Yeah. 00:41:13.638 --> 00:41:15.473 That's what I love about you, 00:41:15.515 --> 00:41:17.275 is that you really support me doing my thing. 00:41:23.356 --> 00:41:25.191 I think you're cool. 00:41:25.233 --> 00:41:26.651 All right, bye. 00:41:26.693 --> 00:41:28.903 I you've walked out a hundred times I 00:41:28.945 --> 00:41:32.407 I how was I I 00:41:32.448 --> 00:41:37.036 I supposed to know this time that you wouldn't come I 00:41:37.078 --> 00:41:40.832 I that you wouldn't come home I 00:41:43.918 --> 00:41:45.104 I but four drinks I'm wasted I 00:41:45.128 --> 00:41:47.672 I I can see you dancing I 00:41:47.714 --> 00:41:50.675 I I can lay down next you I 00:41:50.717 --> 00:41:53.136 I at the foot of my bed I 00:41:53.177 --> 00:41:55.638 I if I drink enough I 00:41:55.680 --> 00:41:58.433 I I can taste your lipstick I 00:41:58.474 --> 00:42:01.019 I I can lay down next to you I 00:42:01.060 --> 00:42:03.604 I but it's all in my head I 00:42:03.646 --> 00:42:06.441 I if I drink enough I swear I 00:42:06.482 --> 00:42:10.570 I that I will wake up next to you I 00:42:26.919 --> 00:42:29.547 Pow, pow, pow, pow. 00:42:29.589 --> 00:42:30.589 Pow. 00:42:37.930 --> 00:42:39.182 Hey. 00:42:39.223 --> 00:42:39.974 Here we go. 00:42:40.016 --> 00:42:41.726 Here we go. 00:42:41.768 --> 00:42:43.203 Did you make those changes on the mouse trap scene? 00:42:43.227 --> 00:42:44.937 No, we cut that, remember? 00:42:44.979 --> 00:42:46.707 We're gonna do the greenhouse gases bit instead? 00:42:46.731 --> 00:42:48.900 No, Jake, greenhouse is cut and mouse traps is in. 00:42:48.941 --> 00:42:50.860 Wait, what? 00:42:50.902 --> 00:42:52.171 What? No, we have to have those moments that are serious- 00:42:52.195 --> 00:42:53.613 we like moustraps better. 00:42:53.654 --> 00:42:54.947 -We have so many goofy... look. 00:42:54.989 --> 00:42:56.282 - Boo! - The show- 00:42:56.324 --> 00:42:58.117 - oh. - Jesus Christ, man. 00:42:58.159 --> 00:42:59.720 Hey, you're gonna stay on like the whole time, right? 00:42:59.744 --> 00:43:00.787 Just keep focused on him. 00:43:00.828 --> 00:43:02.580 Here we go. Here we go. 00:43:02.622 --> 00:43:03.807 Oh, you guys have never done this before. 00:43:03.831 --> 00:43:04.791 - How you doin'? - Oh. 00:43:04.832 --> 00:43:06.542 Good. 00:43:07.376 --> 00:43:08.377 Hey. 00:43:08.419 --> 00:43:09.712 Hey, I need to uh... 00:43:13.382 --> 00:43:14.759 I don't know if I can do this. 00:43:14.801 --> 00:43:16.302 You're going to be great, man. 00:43:16.344 --> 00:43:17.136 Don't worry about it. Don't overthink it. 00:43:17.178 --> 00:43:18.763 Just breathe. 00:43:18.805 --> 00:43:19.865 No, you've got to be dumb to be smart, right? 00:43:19.889 --> 00:43:21.557 Go be dumb. 00:43:21.599 --> 00:43:23.893 If we do this, you know there's no going back. 00:43:23.935 --> 00:43:25.144 Who wants to go back? 00:43:25.186 --> 00:43:26.646 Showtime. 00:43:26.687 --> 00:43:27.687 Let's do it. 00:43:47.834 --> 00:43:49.669 And action. 00:44:21.993 --> 00:44:25.079 Thank you, severed hand. 00:44:25.121 --> 00:44:28.249 What a response. Give a hand to the hand. 00:44:30.126 --> 00:44:31.812 I'm your host and I'm, you know, I'm no one special. 00:44:31.836 --> 00:44:32.836 And are you all um... 00:44:34.922 --> 00:44:36.299 You're all sitting comfortably? 00:44:37.133 --> 00:44:39.302 And when you all came into the studio today, 00:44:39.343 --> 00:44:41.095 You were asked to 00:44:41.137 --> 00:44:43.181 hand over your cell phones and sign some, some uh, 00:44:43.222 --> 00:44:44.825 some kind of waivers. 00:44:44.849 --> 00:44:46.726 Hey, severed hand is back. 00:44:46.767 --> 00:44:48.477 I hope you read the small print, folks, 00:44:48.519 --> 00:44:50.688 'cause you've just signed your phones over to me. 00:44:52.565 --> 00:44:55.234 The atmosphere is suddenly so tense. 00:44:55.276 --> 00:44:57.195 Can you feel it at home, kids? 00:44:57.236 --> 00:45:02.200 As we play your phone or your dignity? 00:45:08.956 --> 00:45:10.291 Sorry. 00:45:10.333 --> 00:45:11.792 I don't remember. 00:45:11.834 --> 00:45:13.270 Am I going here? Where am I going, Candice? 00:45:13.294 --> 00:45:14.462 Over there? 00:45:14.503 --> 00:45:15.564 Candice told me to go here. 00:45:15.588 --> 00:45:16.881 I don't even know. 00:45:16.923 --> 00:45:17.924 Let's see who we got. Hi. 00:45:20.551 --> 00:45:21.761 Everybody's miserable. 00:45:21.802 --> 00:45:23.304 Everybody's so sad. 00:45:23.346 --> 00:45:24.513 Why is everyone so... 00:45:24.555 --> 00:45:25.848 It's a game show. It's fun. 00:45:25.890 --> 00:45:27.683 Excuse me. Let me squeeze. 00:45:27.725 --> 00:45:29.977 Bring the music, music down. We can't hear. 00:45:30.019 --> 00:45:30.895 Cut the music! 00:45:30.937 --> 00:45:32.772 That's the cue to cut the- 00:45:32.813 --> 00:45:33.874 so sir, what's your name? Where are you from? 00:45:33.898 --> 00:45:34.815 Um, my name is Martin. 00:45:34.857 --> 00:45:36.025 I'm from temecula. 00:45:36.067 --> 00:45:37.777 Beautiful name, beautiful place. 00:45:37.818 --> 00:45:39.129 God's country. Had an aunt from temecula. 00:45:39.153 --> 00:45:40.529 You want to feel my carpet? 00:45:42.365 --> 00:45:43.366 Yeah you do! 00:45:43.407 --> 00:45:44.700 Let's go. 00:45:44.742 --> 00:45:46.118 Here we are, me and Martin. 00:45:50.998 --> 00:45:52.458 Come on, feel it. 00:45:52.500 --> 00:45:53.876 You wanna lay on it? 00:45:53.918 --> 00:45:54.918 Oh, sure. 00:45:56.212 --> 00:45:57.755 How does that feel? 00:45:57.797 --> 00:45:59.340 It feels like just great, smooth. 00:45:59.382 --> 00:46:00.174 Smooth ass carpet. 00:46:00.216 --> 00:46:01.926 Smooth carpet. 00:46:01.968 --> 00:46:03.552 All right, enough fooling around folks. 00:46:03.594 --> 00:46:05.179 Let's get on with the show. 00:46:06.931 --> 00:46:08.283 One simple question for you, Martin. 00:46:08.307 --> 00:46:10.893 How badly do you need your phone? 00:46:11.769 --> 00:46:14.897 Um, I mean, yeah, I use it all the time. 00:46:14.939 --> 00:46:16.482 Right. Don't we all? 00:46:16.524 --> 00:46:19.151 Well, Martin, it is your lucky day 00:46:19.193 --> 00:46:23.948 because you get to walk away with $100 00:46:23.990 --> 00:46:26.784 and one of these brand spanking new devices. 00:46:28.911 --> 00:46:31.580 These phones come with no camera and no Internet 00:46:31.622 --> 00:46:34.583 which means freedom from self obsession and social media. 00:46:34.625 --> 00:46:36.752 What a prize, am I right? 00:46:39.046 --> 00:46:42.550 Or, Martin, you can complete one of our challenges 00:46:42.591 --> 00:46:47.847 to retrieve your old, needy, soul sucking phone. 00:46:47.888 --> 00:46:49.390 It was like 800 bucks. 00:46:49.432 --> 00:46:51.058 Yeah, I need it. I use it all the time. 00:46:51.100 --> 00:46:52.577 Well if you want your phone back, Martin, 00:46:52.601 --> 00:46:55.521 you're going to have to wrestle this guy for it. 00:46:55.563 --> 00:46:57.148 Come and get your phone, Martin. 00:46:59.275 --> 00:47:00.275 Chee-hoo! 00:47:01.027 --> 00:47:02.027 Ah! 00:47:03.779 --> 00:47:04.905 I'm backing you, Martin. 00:47:06.866 --> 00:47:08.034 Yes. 00:47:09.076 --> 00:47:10.036 Oh come on, Martin. 00:47:10.077 --> 00:47:11.203 You're better than this. 00:47:12.413 --> 00:47:13.998 Isn't he doing great? 00:47:18.085 --> 00:47:20.004 And, ah, he's got it. 00:47:20.880 --> 00:47:24.008 Give it up for Martin from temecula, I guess. 00:47:24.050 --> 00:47:25.259 I got my phone. 00:47:25.301 --> 00:47:27.136 He got his phone back. 00:47:27.178 --> 00:47:31.015 Welcome to the rest of your life, Martin. 00:47:43.819 --> 00:47:46.447 I'm Charles melton and I'm here with no one special. 00:47:48.240 --> 00:47:50.159 We're about to destroy Chuck's phone. 00:47:58.042 --> 00:47:59.627 - Woo! - Got it! 00:47:59.668 --> 00:48:02.630 Chuck m killed it. No one special. 00:48:02.671 --> 00:48:03.506 Stay tuned. 00:48:03.547 --> 00:48:05.508 Noonespecial.com. 00:48:05.549 --> 00:48:06.549 Peace! 00:48:10.221 --> 00:48:13.974 J'and I do what I can I 00:48:14.016 --> 00:48:15.810 I I got friends in high places I 00:48:15.851 --> 00:48:17.520 I I get out for free I 00:48:17.561 --> 00:48:20.856 I I got in a fight but they don't know me I 00:48:20.898 --> 00:48:24.318 I because in only a man I 00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:28.322 j'and I do what I can I 00:48:28.364 --> 00:48:32.076 I b-e-h-a-v-e arrest us I 00:48:32.118 --> 00:48:35.704 I italiana monster looking so precious I 00:48:35.746 --> 00:48:39.125 I b-e-h-a-v-e never more I 00:48:39.166 --> 00:48:40.626 I you gave up being good I 00:48:40.668 --> 00:48:42.753 I when you declared a state of war I 00:48:42.795 --> 00:48:44.171 love you, no one special. 00:48:44.213 --> 00:48:46.132 Ifucking love you. 00:48:46.173 --> 00:48:49.969 I eh, oh, don't behave, oh don't behave, oh I 00:48:50.010 --> 00:48:54.723 I eh, oh, don't behave, oh don't behave, oh I 00:48:54.765 --> 00:48:55.850 I choose... 00:48:57.309 --> 00:48:59.145 My dignity. 00:48:59.186 --> 00:49:04.150 I do what I can, ooh-whoa-oh I 00:49:04.191 --> 00:49:08.112 I 'cause I'm only a man, do what I can I 00:49:08.154 --> 00:49:09.488 I you're going to the party I 00:49:09.530 --> 00:49:11.532 I and you're goin' to the show I 00:49:11.574 --> 00:49:15.077 I I did something bad, maybe I was wrong I 00:49:15.119 --> 00:49:18.038 I sometimes people say that I'm a big time bomb I 00:49:18.080 --> 00:49:21.959 I but I'm only a man I 00:49:22.001 --> 00:49:25.921 j'and I do what I can I 00:49:25.963 --> 00:49:29.383 I b-e-h-a-v-e arrest us I 00:49:29.425 --> 00:49:33.179 I italiana monster looking so precious I 00:49:33.220 --> 00:49:36.390 I b-e-h-a-v-e never more I 00:49:36.432 --> 00:49:38.184 I you gave up being good I 00:49:38.225 --> 00:49:40.102 I when you declared a state a war I 00:49:40.144 --> 00:49:43.481 I eh, oh, don't behave, oh don't behave, oh I 00:49:43.522 --> 00:49:47.234 I eh, oh, don't behave, oh don't behave, oh I 00:49:47.276 --> 00:49:50.696 I eh, oh, don't behave, oh don't behave, oh I 00:49:50.738 --> 00:49:52.239 I you're going to the party I 00:49:52.281 --> 00:49:54.074 I and you're goin' to the show I 00:49:54.116 --> 00:49:59.079 I 'cause I'm only a man, do what can, ooh-whoa-oh I 00:50:01.207 --> 00:50:05.920 I 'cause I'm only a man, do what I can I 00:50:05.961 --> 00:50:07.254 I you're going to the party I 00:50:07.296 --> 00:50:09.006 I and you're goin' to the show I 00:50:09.048 --> 00:50:14.136 I oh, whoa-oh I 00:50:14.178 --> 00:50:17.723 I the fire hurts all right I 00:50:17.765 --> 00:50:21.352 I 'cause we can make 'em all go crazy I 00:50:21.393 --> 00:50:23.521 I we can make 'em all right I 00:50:23.562 --> 00:50:26.190 I oh, whoa-oh-oh I 00:50:28.067 --> 00:50:29.527 hey gorgeous. 00:50:29.568 --> 00:50:31.362 I just wanted to say I'm sorry 00:50:31.403 --> 00:50:33.173 that we're not doing the twinning politicians thing. 00:50:33.197 --> 00:50:34.573 Yeah. Okay, sure. 00:50:37.451 --> 00:50:38.827 You know I see you, right? 00:50:40.454 --> 00:50:42.039 You see me? 00:50:42.081 --> 00:50:43.457 I see you flirting with that girl. 00:50:43.499 --> 00:50:44.499 I see you. 00:50:47.461 --> 00:50:49.046 You call that flirting? Well... 00:50:50.214 --> 00:50:51.173 Yeah. 00:50:51.215 --> 00:50:52.967 Oh no, I'll show you flirting. 00:50:53.008 --> 00:50:54.802 I'll take you to the back room right now. 00:50:54.843 --> 00:50:56.883 Thought you've taken enough people to the back room. 00:50:59.932 --> 00:51:00.932 Don't hurt her. 00:51:06.063 --> 00:51:08.482 I love that, Jake. I love it. 00:51:09.441 --> 00:51:11.777 Eh uh, how else can I say it? 00:51:11.819 --> 00:51:14.363 I'm just, I'm getting a little antsy. 00:51:14.405 --> 00:51:16.073 But I don't understand, antsy about what? 00:51:16.115 --> 00:51:17.575 Specifically what's going wrong? 00:51:17.616 --> 00:51:19.118 It's not a nosedive. 00:51:19.159 --> 00:51:21.829 It's more like, um, like a little, 00:51:21.870 --> 00:51:23.330 like a little, um... 00:51:23.372 --> 00:51:24.999 Just spit it out, Mark. 00:51:25.040 --> 00:51:27.084 We're down about 15% since the last episode. 00:51:27.126 --> 00:51:29.169 If you don't do something, you will lose more. 00:51:29.211 --> 00:51:30.796 It's science. 00:51:30.838 --> 00:51:32.006 Just shake it up. 00:51:32.047 --> 00:51:33.066 Get people interested again. 00:51:33.090 --> 00:51:34.133 Get 'em back up. 00:51:34.174 --> 00:51:35.301 It all corrects itself. 00:51:35.342 --> 00:51:36.260 Yes. Yes. 00:51:36.302 --> 00:51:37.720 I'm busting my ass 00:51:37.761 --> 00:51:40.055 and you're writing the same old tired shit. 00:51:40.097 --> 00:51:42.016 I've been saying that for weeks. 00:51:42.057 --> 00:51:43.285 You guys told me that I had to stick to the formula. 00:51:43.309 --> 00:51:44.602 It was working, now it's not. 00:51:44.643 --> 00:51:46.478 We're all clear it's not Jake's fault. 00:51:46.520 --> 00:51:48.456 I wrote the greenhouse gases bit and then that got cut. 00:51:48.480 --> 00:51:50.691 Yeah, 'cause climate change isn't sexy right now, Jake. 00:51:50.733 --> 00:51:52.192 I'm sorry. Climate change isn't sexy? 00:51:52.234 --> 00:51:54.403 Are you out of your mind? 00:51:54.445 --> 00:51:55.922 I didn't know the end of the world is supposed to be sexy. 00:51:55.946 --> 00:51:57.299 Can you take the cotton out of your ears 00:51:57.323 --> 00:51:58.282 and put it in your mouth for one second 00:51:58.324 --> 00:52:00.242 and listen to Mark? 00:52:00.284 --> 00:52:01.678 We're losing views and we need to get them back up, 00:52:01.702 --> 00:52:02.762 so we need to write stuff that's new, 00:52:02.786 --> 00:52:04.246 not cliche, not boring. 00:52:04.288 --> 00:52:05.932 Well it won't be boring when the polar bears 00:52:05.956 --> 00:52:07.267 are scratching at our front door because 00:52:07.291 --> 00:52:09.043 - their habitats are melted. - Fuck. 00:52:09.084 --> 00:52:10.103 And it won't be boring when we don't have 00:52:10.127 --> 00:52:11.712 any clean water to drink. 00:52:11.754 --> 00:52:13.315 We need to get Jake's soapbox in here, guys. 00:52:13.339 --> 00:52:14.399 Get the viewers back up before we lose anymore. 00:52:14.423 --> 00:52:16.050 It's very simple. 00:52:16.091 --> 00:52:17.527 Come up with something amazing and new, now. 00:52:17.551 --> 00:52:19.136 I know you hate me. 00:52:19.178 --> 00:52:20.929 You're going to love me soon. Trust me. 00:52:20.971 --> 00:52:23.432 Welcome to fuckin' life, baby. 00:52:25.351 --> 00:52:26.518 Where's the chocolate? 00:52:26.560 --> 00:52:27.311 Are you too high and mighty? 00:52:27.353 --> 00:52:28.520 Mm, yeah. 00:52:28.562 --> 00:52:30.105 And you know what a fuckin' 00:52:30.147 --> 00:52:30.689 hungry polar bear will really do? 00:52:30.731 --> 00:52:31.982 Eat you. 00:52:32.024 --> 00:52:33.400 It will eat you. 00:52:33.442 --> 00:52:35.194 You can love it from here. 00:52:35.235 --> 00:52:36.296 Let me tell you, if you ever met a real polar bear, 00:52:36.320 --> 00:52:38.364 they would fuckin' eat you. 00:52:40.282 --> 00:52:42.201 I got an idea. 00:52:42.242 --> 00:52:45.329 What if we shifted the way people behave online? 00:52:45.371 --> 00:52:47.122 Not trying to take away the phone, 00:52:47.164 --> 00:52:49.750 but trying to put the soul back into the phone? 00:52:57.633 --> 00:52:59.677 What do you say we shake it up a little bit, folks? 00:52:59.718 --> 00:53:01.512 There's someone I'm looking for. 00:53:01.553 --> 00:53:02.553 There's someone... 00:53:03.430 --> 00:53:05.808 Do we have an Isabelle Roberts? 00:53:05.849 --> 00:53:06.725 Isabelle Roberts? 00:53:06.767 --> 00:53:08.394 Yes? 00:53:08.435 --> 00:53:10.235 Okay, and bring around the camera on Isabelle. 00:53:10.270 --> 00:53:11.373 Sweetheart, what are you waiting for? 00:53:11.397 --> 00:53:12.815 Destiny awaits! 00:53:12.856 --> 00:53:15.192 I don't know about this. 00:53:15.234 --> 00:53:19.029 Yeah, you made that very clear in the room. 00:53:19.071 --> 00:53:20.906 Let's let it play out. 00:53:20.948 --> 00:53:21.948 Isabelle. 00:53:23.200 --> 00:53:24.243 That's sexy. 00:53:27.621 --> 00:53:29.331 So Isabelle, my source is telling me, 00:53:29.373 --> 00:53:31.333 you mind if I lean on you? 00:53:31.375 --> 00:53:33.627 My source is telling me you're a big fan of Instagram, 00:53:33.669 --> 00:53:35.295 - is that right? - Mhm. 00:53:35.337 --> 00:53:37.214 Okay. So let's have a look at your best shot. 00:53:39.049 --> 00:53:40.175 - Yeah. - Whoa! 00:53:40.217 --> 00:53:41.385 - Beautiful. - What? 00:53:43.762 --> 00:53:45.472 You gotta warn me next time 00:53:45.514 --> 00:53:46.265 there's gonna be a supermodel in the room. 00:53:46.306 --> 00:53:48.183 Here we go. 00:53:48.225 --> 00:53:50.425 What's your secret, Isabelle, for looking so damn fresh? 00:53:52.563 --> 00:53:54.481 I don't, I don't know. 00:53:54.523 --> 00:53:57.401 I drink a lot of water, I guess, and try to eat well. 00:53:57.443 --> 00:53:58.795 Well, let's have a look at the original version 00:53:58.819 --> 00:53:59.778 of the photo we found on your phone. 00:53:59.820 --> 00:54:00.820 No, no... 00:54:05.409 --> 00:54:07.369 Oh. 00:54:14.126 --> 00:54:15.478 Did you know that she had a birthmark? 00:54:15.502 --> 00:54:16.502 That's a... 00:54:19.840 --> 00:54:20.591 It's a birthmark. 00:54:20.632 --> 00:54:21.632 Well... 00:54:22.468 --> 00:54:23.468 Yeah. 00:54:24.386 --> 00:54:28.682 Well I don't, I don't see it... 00:54:28.724 --> 00:54:30.434 I don't see it now. 00:54:32.895 --> 00:54:34.188 I have my makeup on. 00:54:34.229 --> 00:54:35.189 Oh, of course. 00:54:35.230 --> 00:54:37.274 Well, you know what? 00:54:37.316 --> 00:54:38.418 I think that's just another beautiful part of yourself. 00:54:38.442 --> 00:54:39.485 What do you guys think? 00:54:39.526 --> 00:54:40.778 Yeah! 00:54:41.820 --> 00:54:45.199 Proud. She's proud. 00:54:45.240 --> 00:54:46.885 Tell me something, how many likes do you think 00:54:46.909 --> 00:54:48.619 this version of the photo would get? 00:54:48.660 --> 00:54:51.413 Uh, I would, I would never... 00:54:51.455 --> 00:54:53.332 Iwouldn't. 00:54:53.373 --> 00:54:55.373 Are you prepared to let the world see the real you? 00:54:57.169 --> 00:54:58.796 What do you mean? 00:54:58.837 --> 00:54:59.838 You're not gonna... 00:54:59.880 --> 00:55:01.548 Oh no, no, no, no, no. 00:55:01.590 --> 00:55:03.270 No, no, I'm not. I'm not gonna do anything. 00:55:04.134 --> 00:55:05.134 You are. 00:55:12.476 --> 00:55:13.476 Isabelle. 00:55:16.980 --> 00:55:18.482 If you hit this button, 00:55:18.524 --> 00:55:20.234 the original version of this photo 00:55:20.275 --> 00:55:22.277 will be sent out to all your followers 00:55:22.319 --> 00:55:23.946 with the hashtag the real me, 00:55:23.987 --> 00:55:27.533 and you'll walk away with $400 and your phone 00:55:27.574 --> 00:55:31.161 and a tremendous amount of self-respect and liberation. 00:55:31.203 --> 00:55:33.497 So what should she do audience? 00:55:33.539 --> 00:55:35.958 Does she press the button? 00:55:35.999 --> 00:55:38.669 Um, will you just mostly stay on the wide for now? 00:55:38.710 --> 00:55:40.170 Thank you. 00:55:43.590 --> 00:55:46.593 I mean, it's pretty clear what they want, 00:55:46.635 --> 00:55:47.553 but it's up to you, Isabelle. 00:55:47.594 --> 00:55:49.096 So what's it gonna be? 00:55:49.137 --> 00:55:51.056 Your phone or your vanity? 00:55:53.767 --> 00:55:55.561 I can't, I can't. 00:55:55.602 --> 00:55:57.187 This is the best. 00:55:57.229 --> 00:55:58.414 Everyone in the audience can see it. 00:55:58.438 --> 00:56:00.274 What are you afraid of, darling? 00:56:00.315 --> 00:56:02.568 That these people at home will think that you're ugly, 00:56:02.609 --> 00:56:04.152 that they'll think you're rejectable? 00:56:04.194 --> 00:56:05.505 That they'll think you're unlovable? 00:56:05.529 --> 00:56:08.448 We are in trouble, folks. Woo. 00:56:08.490 --> 00:56:12.578 We got innocent, pure angels who have 00:56:12.619 --> 00:56:14.454 somehow been brainwashed. 00:56:14.496 --> 00:56:16.748 We are disfiguring ourselves. 00:56:17.624 --> 00:56:21.378 Taking needles, shoving them in our faces. 00:56:21.420 --> 00:56:22.689 They're taking our chins and they're 00:56:22.713 --> 00:56:24.089 putting them in our asses. 00:56:25.215 --> 00:56:27.551 You're saving polar bears right now, Jake. 00:56:27.593 --> 00:56:28.593 Okay, come on. 00:56:29.928 --> 00:56:31.555 Stop it. 00:56:31.597 --> 00:56:33.307 - Are you gonna stop this. - Look, it could 00:56:33.348 --> 00:56:34.993 - be really powerful. - No, are you gonna stop this? 00:56:35.017 --> 00:56:36.035 - Look at her face. - It could be really powerful. 00:56:36.059 --> 00:56:37.561 Let it cook, let it cook. 00:56:37.603 --> 00:56:39.396 Are we going insane? Are we going crazy? 00:56:39.438 --> 00:56:41.690 I feel like I'm going crazy every damn day. 00:56:41.732 --> 00:56:42.941 She's cracking. 00:56:42.983 --> 00:56:44.902 You can't stop 'em mid crack. 00:56:44.943 --> 00:56:46.254 That's what they're doing, Isabelle, 00:56:46.278 --> 00:56:47.738 that's what they've done to you. 00:56:48.655 --> 00:56:50.616 I can't watch, but I can't stop watching. 00:56:50.657 --> 00:56:53.327 Are we going to take this shit anymore? 00:56:55.579 --> 00:56:58.415 Is Isabelle going to take this shit anymore? 00:57:01.251 --> 00:57:03.587 You got to lead the revolution, Isabelle, 00:57:03.629 --> 00:57:05.672 and it's oh so simple. 00:57:05.714 --> 00:57:10.260 All you must do is hit that button. 00:57:11.678 --> 00:57:13.138 Look at her face. 00:57:13.180 --> 00:57:15.349 You're not gonna stop this? 00:57:15.390 --> 00:57:17.017 We're stopping nothing, my friend. 00:57:18.977 --> 00:57:20.062 I'm gonna stop this. 00:57:22.648 --> 00:57:24.232 What are we stopping? 00:57:24.274 --> 00:57:25.651 This? No, no, no, no. 00:57:25.692 --> 00:57:27.152 Stop crying. 00:57:27.194 --> 00:57:29.071 Stop crying right now. 00:57:29.112 --> 00:57:33.075 That's all you must do to lead the revolution, Isabelle. 00:57:41.625 --> 00:57:43.043 She did it, folks! 00:57:43.085 --> 00:57:45.587 We're free now! And I'm free! 00:57:47.673 --> 00:57:48.632 Stop crying. 00:57:48.674 --> 00:57:49.883 Grow up. 00:57:49.925 --> 00:57:53.178 Stop your fucking crying right now. 00:57:53.220 --> 00:57:54.262 Don't do this to me. 00:57:54.304 --> 00:57:55.180 Don't ruin this for me. 00:57:55.222 --> 00:57:56.014 Pull it together. 00:57:56.056 --> 00:57:57.516 Just stop it. 00:57:57.557 --> 00:57:58.517 - Hey, back up. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 00:57:58.558 --> 00:57:59.977 Hey. You all right? 00:58:00.018 --> 00:58:00.769 - I got it, I got it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:58:00.811 --> 00:58:02.187 She's great. 00:58:02.229 --> 00:58:03.563 - She's great. - I'm so sorry. 00:58:03.605 --> 00:58:04.624 I'm really, really sorry, all right? 00:58:04.648 --> 00:58:06.233 That wasn't scripted. 00:58:06.274 --> 00:58:07.585 You can't treat people like that, okay? 00:58:07.609 --> 00:58:08.836 I told you you couldn't go there. 00:58:08.860 --> 00:58:10.487 And I hope that you understand 00:58:10.529 --> 00:58:12.114 that we're going to make it up to you. 00:58:12.155 --> 00:58:13.341 Do you want to get up here and give it a try? 00:58:13.365 --> 00:58:14.241 - Guys. - Come here, baby. 00:58:14.282 --> 00:58:15.909 Give me a kiss. 00:58:15.951 --> 00:58:17.661 - You're a straight-up psychopath. - Jake! 00:58:17.703 --> 00:58:19.246 Back off, back off, back off, back off. 00:58:19.287 --> 00:58:20.765 - You're a psychopath. - Jake, you gotta stop. 00:58:20.789 --> 00:58:22.332 - You're outta line. - I'm outta line? 00:58:22.374 --> 00:58:23.810 - Jake you gotta stop. - That was out of line! 00:58:23.834 --> 00:58:25.103 - That was out line. - Please calm down, 00:58:25.127 --> 00:58:26.920 - please calm down. - Yeah. 00:58:26.962 --> 00:58:28.606 This is our head writer, Jake, ladies and gentlemen. 00:58:28.630 --> 00:58:29.857 He's having some kind of a nervous breakdown. 00:58:29.881 --> 00:58:31.675 - Hey, hey, hey! - Stop. 00:58:31.717 --> 00:58:32.509 - This is fucking bullshit. - Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 00:58:32.551 --> 00:58:33.844 Goodbye. 00:58:33.885 --> 00:58:35.679 Can you give them a helping hand? 00:58:35.721 --> 00:58:37.156 Give him a little hand, folks. 00:58:37.180 --> 00:58:38.616 - Jake, please, okay. - This is ridiculous. 00:58:38.640 --> 00:58:39.909 -This is the same- -please, calm down. 00:58:39.933 --> 00:58:41.226 Please, let's go talk about it. 00:58:41.268 --> 00:58:42.286 - Please. - Jake, goodbye, goodbye. 00:58:42.310 --> 00:58:43.311 Take care of yourself. 00:58:43.353 --> 00:58:45.063 Get better soon. Wow. 00:58:45.105 --> 00:58:46.791 You think you know somebody, and then you don't. 00:58:46.815 --> 00:58:47.691 Jake. Jake. Jake, you have to calm down. 00:58:47.733 --> 00:58:48.608 He was bullying that girl. 00:58:48.650 --> 00:58:49.735 No, she's fine. 00:58:49.776 --> 00:58:51.445 I spoke to her. 00:58:51.486 --> 00:58:52.839 - We're gonna edit around it. - No, she's not fine. 00:58:52.863 --> 00:58:54.740 She's sobbing on the side of the stage. 00:58:54.781 --> 00:58:55.574 Look, he was trying something new for the show. 00:58:55.615 --> 00:58:56.783 Fuck the show. 00:58:56.825 --> 00:58:57.743 Who cares about the stupid show? 00:58:57.784 --> 00:58:58.952 I do. I care about the show. 00:58:58.994 --> 00:59:00.537 I cared about the show too, 00:59:00.579 --> 00:59:01.764 when we were satirizing awful people. 00:59:01.788 --> 00:59:03.540 Now we are the awful people. 00:59:03.582 --> 00:59:04.851 I want you to wake up 'cause you're getting swept up 00:59:04.875 --> 00:59:06.585 in this bullshit and you'd see it 00:59:06.626 --> 00:59:08.628 if you weren't busy slutting around with him. 00:59:08.670 --> 00:59:11.548 You're so jealous of him, it's pathetic. 00:59:12.799 --> 00:59:13.799 I quit. 00:59:29.691 --> 00:59:30.942 But it's up to you. 00:59:30.984 --> 00:59:32.736 The choice is ultimately yours. 00:59:32.778 --> 00:59:34.071 What's it gonna be, Isabelle? 00:59:34.112 --> 00:59:36.364 Your phone, or your vanity? 00:59:44.414 --> 00:59:45.600 What's it going to be Isabelle? 00:59:45.624 --> 00:59:48.001 Your phone, or your vanity? 01:00:01.389 --> 01:00:02.389 Who am I? 01:00:07.562 --> 01:00:08.730 I'm worthless. 01:00:13.860 --> 01:00:14.860 I hate myself. 01:00:19.491 --> 01:00:20.575 I'm no one special. 01:00:35.757 --> 01:00:36.758 Cut. 01:00:38.677 --> 01:00:39.845 That was great. 01:00:41.680 --> 01:00:42.740 - We got it. - All right, well done. 01:00:42.764 --> 01:00:43.807 Good work guys. 01:00:43.849 --> 01:00:45.183 Oh, thank you. 01:00:45.225 --> 01:00:46.977 Uh, you guys can pack up and head home. 01:00:47.018 --> 01:00:48.770 Thank you for a great day. 01:00:48.812 --> 01:00:50.689 Hey, yo, guys we got the no one special hats, 01:00:50.730 --> 01:00:52.816 the t-shirts, and the baseball caps came in, 01:00:52.858 --> 01:00:54.818 so Mark has one for each of you, 01:00:54.860 --> 01:00:56.087 and take some for the family, for the friends, and all that. 01:00:56.111 --> 01:00:57.237 We love you guys. 01:00:57.279 --> 01:00:58.738 And great work. Thank you. 01:00:58.780 --> 01:01:02.075 Okay, you think you can get that up by tomorrow? 01:01:02.117 --> 01:01:03.160 Yeah. 01:01:03.201 --> 01:01:04.244 I can edit it tonight. 01:01:06.830 --> 01:01:08.415 That's gonna work. 01:01:08.456 --> 01:01:09.767 Hashtag real me, we're gonna get the views back, 01:01:09.791 --> 01:01:11.793 and what you did with that Isabelle video 01:01:11.835 --> 01:01:13.587 and you cut around all of her crying. 01:01:13.628 --> 01:01:16.006 It was, it's just like, you're like a wizard. 01:01:16.047 --> 01:01:17.841 It was just like mwah. 01:01:17.883 --> 01:01:19.676 It was just perfection. 01:01:19.718 --> 01:01:21.803 It's like so fuckin' tight. 01:01:21.845 --> 01:01:22.845 That's too much, right? 01:01:23.889 --> 01:01:25.307 Yeah, it's too much. 01:01:25.348 --> 01:01:26.348 Right? 01:01:27.893 --> 01:01:29.853 You thinking about Jake? 01:01:29.895 --> 01:01:31.021 Yeah, a little. 01:01:31.062 --> 01:01:32.522 Yeah, well... 01:01:34.649 --> 01:01:35.692 It was grow or die, 01:01:37.819 --> 01:01:39.196 and he was holding us back. 01:01:41.156 --> 01:01:43.033 And this is just feeling so right. 01:01:43.074 --> 01:01:45.785 Can you feel it? Like we're about to go stratospheric. 01:01:49.247 --> 01:01:50.707 Looking good, looking good. 01:01:50.749 --> 01:01:52.000 All right. 01:01:52.042 --> 01:01:53.311 See right there. We got Desmond. 01:01:53.335 --> 01:01:55.045 He's amazing. 01:01:55.086 --> 01:01:56.856 New York times just did a huge profile on him. 01:01:56.880 --> 01:01:58.465 We got rola right over there. 01:01:58.506 --> 01:01:59.841 Does a bit of everything: 01:01:59.883 --> 01:02:02.719 Fashion, movies, food trendsetter. 01:02:02.761 --> 01:02:06.223 Single handily brought back cauliflower this year. 01:02:06.264 --> 01:02:07.849 That's Jake Paul, blonde. 01:02:07.891 --> 01:02:10.894 He's 5.8 billion views on YouTube. 01:02:10.936 --> 01:02:12.016 - Mhm. - You know the story. 01:02:13.063 --> 01:02:14.248 Patrick starr, right there, far left. 01:02:14.272 --> 01:02:16.233 Makeup tutorial. Great. 01:02:16.274 --> 01:02:17.067 Who's that? 01:02:17.108 --> 01:02:18.360 The other blonde. 01:02:18.401 --> 01:02:19.819 Oh, the dirty blonde. 01:02:19.861 --> 01:02:21.363 That's Lana. 01:02:21.404 --> 01:02:23.365 She's fuckin', a huge powerhouse. 01:02:23.406 --> 01:02:25.951 She does these makeup tutorials for christians, 01:02:25.992 --> 01:02:29.162 look fresh for Jesus, made $200 million last year. 01:02:29.204 --> 01:02:30.664 It's fuckin' huge. 01:02:30.705 --> 01:02:31.933 - Look at that. - That's amazing. 01:02:31.957 --> 01:02:33.500 I've never seen that. 01:02:33.541 --> 01:02:35.061 - That's a selfie train. - Greetings, fellas. 01:02:35.085 --> 01:02:36.795 No one special. 01:02:36.836 --> 01:02:38.129 A childhood icon. 01:02:38.171 --> 01:02:39.881 I used to be obsessed with you. 01:02:39.923 --> 01:02:41.049 Big fan. 01:02:41.091 --> 01:02:42.550 - Yeah, 10 years ago. - Crazy. 01:02:42.592 --> 01:02:43.952 - Nice to meet you. - 12 years ago. 01:02:44.636 --> 01:02:45.470 How are we doing? Are we set? 01:02:45.512 --> 01:02:47.055 I'm set, you set? 01:02:47.097 --> 01:02:48.616 Oh man, you really shot the moon with that suit. 01:02:48.640 --> 01:02:49.992 You look hotter than a five dollar rolex. 01:02:50.016 --> 01:02:51.685 Let's do this. 01:02:51.726 --> 01:02:52.912 - Let's do it, let's do it. - Showtime. 01:02:52.936 --> 01:02:54.104 That's great. That's great. 01:02:57.732 --> 01:02:59.109 Okay, show people. 01:02:59.150 --> 01:03:00.902 I want us to have fun, but just know 01:03:00.944 --> 01:03:03.029 we're live streaming this so no swearing, 01:03:03.071 --> 01:03:04.406 especially you, Desmond. 01:03:05.615 --> 01:03:07.784 And we're gonna go live right over here. 01:03:09.035 --> 01:03:10.370 All right. 01:03:10.412 --> 01:03:12.163 Welcome back to the Ted wick show. 01:03:12.205 --> 01:03:14.165 That's me. 01:03:14.207 --> 01:03:16.367 I am right here with some of your favorite influencers, 01:03:16.960 --> 01:03:19.587 and right now we have the big guy. 01:03:19.629 --> 01:03:20.714 No one special. 01:03:21.631 --> 01:03:24.092 I gotta say, man, I think you and the work you do 01:03:24.134 --> 01:03:25.135 is super interesting. 01:03:25.176 --> 01:03:26.136 Thanks for being with us. 01:03:26.177 --> 01:03:27.345 No, thank you, Ted. 01:03:27.387 --> 01:03:29.014 I'm very, very happy to be here. 01:03:29.055 --> 01:03:30.974 The common thread throughout most of your videos 01:03:31.016 --> 01:03:33.310 seems to be a comment on the viewer's isolation, 01:03:33.351 --> 01:03:37.022 their over dependency on social media, the Internet, 01:03:37.063 --> 01:03:39.524 yet your growing popularity is derived 01:03:39.566 --> 01:03:43.194 from your disdain, from the very thing making you popular. 01:03:43.236 --> 01:03:44.446 Ka-pow. 01:03:44.487 --> 01:03:46.072 That's crazy, Ted. 01:03:46.114 --> 01:03:47.866 That's really insightful. Thank you. 01:03:47.907 --> 01:03:50.452 And your biggest success to date is kind of a game show 01:03:50.493 --> 01:03:52.829 where you demonstrate the viewers addiction 01:03:52.871 --> 01:03:55.081 to their cell phones. 01:03:55.123 --> 01:03:58.543 Your success directly contradicts your message, does it not? 01:03:58.585 --> 01:04:00.879 Sorry, uh, sorry, everybody, ijusl 01:04:02.464 --> 01:04:04.049 are you saying I'm a sellout, Ted? 01:04:04.090 --> 01:04:05.008 I'm not saying anything. 01:04:05.050 --> 01:04:07.218 I'm merely asking the questions. 01:04:07.260 --> 01:04:08.386 All right, good. 01:04:08.428 --> 01:04:09.929 Good, great. 01:04:09.971 --> 01:04:12.265 See I think that you insult the viewers. 01:04:12.307 --> 01:04:16.978 You tell them that they're stupid for watching us. 01:04:17.020 --> 01:04:20.190 Wait, are you the person that tells 10-year-old girls 01:04:20.231 --> 01:04:21.941 to look sexy for Jesus? 01:04:21.983 --> 01:04:25.070 No. I don't tell them how to look sexy for Jesus. 01:04:25.111 --> 01:04:26.630 Can you tell me the passage in the Bible 01:04:26.654 --> 01:04:28.073 where they talk about contouring? 01:04:28.114 --> 01:04:29.657 What, what is that? 01:04:29.699 --> 01:04:31.052 Is that corinthians? Is that Genesis? 01:04:31.076 --> 01:04:33.078 As a matter of fact, in Genesis, 01:04:33.119 --> 01:04:38.083 god commands us to take care of all his creations, 01:04:38.124 --> 01:04:40.126 and that includes ourselves. 01:04:40.168 --> 01:04:42.003 So god is basically saying cover up 01:04:42.045 --> 01:04:44.089 all of your so-called flaws? 01:04:44.130 --> 01:04:45.715 I need a root beer. 01:04:45.757 --> 01:04:46.800 She needs a root beer. 01:04:46.841 --> 01:04:48.718 Okay. There goes Desmond. 01:04:48.760 --> 01:04:50.011 I'm out. Goodbye. 01:04:50.053 --> 01:04:51.096 God, I love that Desmond. 01:04:51.137 --> 01:04:52.680 All right. 01:04:52.722 --> 01:04:55.141 I got to say, what I do love about you 01:04:55.183 --> 01:04:57.602 is how you work to empower people. 01:04:57.644 --> 01:05:00.688 Now, here is a recent clip of your online game show. 01:05:00.730 --> 01:05:01.874 What's your secret, Isabelle, 01:05:01.898 --> 01:05:03.233 for looking so damn fresh? 01:05:04.067 --> 01:05:06.611 I drink a lot of water, I guess? 01:05:06.653 --> 01:05:08.321 Ah, Isabelle. 01:05:08.363 --> 01:05:10.341 The choice is ultimately yours. So what's it gonna be? 01:05:10.365 --> 01:05:12.867 Is it gonna be your phone, or your vanity? 01:05:17.872 --> 01:05:19.332 Wow. 01:05:19.374 --> 01:05:20.976 Look at that young lady, she looks so happy. 01:05:21.000 --> 01:05:25.046 And now here is the same clip unedited. 01:05:25.088 --> 01:05:26.506 It's just been sent to us 01:05:26.548 --> 01:05:30.051 and it kind of tells a different story. 01:05:30.093 --> 01:05:31.511 Did you know about this? 01:05:31.553 --> 01:05:32.553 I don't know. 01:05:33.596 --> 01:05:34.657 Stop crying. 01:05:34.681 --> 01:05:36.558 Stop crying right now. 01:05:36.599 --> 01:05:41.062 That's all you must do to lead the revolution, Isabelle. 01:05:45.608 --> 01:05:47.110 Making young girls cry. 01:05:47.152 --> 01:05:49.529 Doesn't that go against everything you stand for? 01:05:51.072 --> 01:05:52.699 Wow, that's good. That's very good, Ted. 01:05:52.740 --> 01:05:53.926 That's not supposed to be out there. 01:05:53.950 --> 01:05:55.910 We, we cut that out of the show. 01:05:55.952 --> 01:05:58.288 That poor girl. What's wrong with you? 01:05:58.329 --> 01:06:00.331 Patrick, spare me your faux outrage, 01:06:00.373 --> 01:06:02.083 just for a second, okay? 01:06:02.125 --> 01:06:03.477 That was an outtake and we took it out. 01:06:03.501 --> 01:06:05.086 Because you humiliated her. 01:06:05.128 --> 01:06:07.088 It's out of context. 01:06:07.130 --> 01:06:09.316 People take seconds at a time and try to judge you for that. 01:06:09.340 --> 01:06:10.467 - Exactly. - Only that. 01:06:10.508 --> 01:06:12.719 But now what you're doing, 01:06:12.760 --> 01:06:14.530 you're humiliating a girl in public, so who's the hypocrite? 01:06:14.554 --> 01:06:15.739 - I didn't leak that clip. - Fake news. 01:06:15.763 --> 01:06:17.140 It's all over the Internet. 01:06:17.182 --> 01:06:19.225 You know who made that girl cry, Ted? 01:06:19.267 --> 01:06:20.351 Not me. 01:06:20.393 --> 01:06:21.978 - It was Lana. - Excuse me? 01:06:22.020 --> 01:06:23.229 Lana made that girl cry. 01:06:23.271 --> 01:06:25.023 -Lana, Lana... oh, me? 01:06:25.064 --> 01:06:27.192 Lana is spreading toxic waste into the culture, Ted. 01:06:27.233 --> 01:06:28.902 She is poisoning. 01:06:28.943 --> 01:06:30.778 You are, I'm sorry, baby, but you are. 01:06:30.820 --> 01:06:32.965 You're poisoning the minds and the souls and the hearts 01:06:32.989 --> 01:06:34.908 of young girls throughout the country, 01:06:34.949 --> 01:06:36.993 and you are making them soul sick 01:06:37.035 --> 01:06:40.371 because you are telling them subliminally and insidiously 01:06:40.413 --> 01:06:42.165 that they are not enough as they are, 01:06:42.207 --> 01:06:43.726 that they are not acceptable as they are. 01:06:43.750 --> 01:06:45.502 That if you don't look like a Kardashian, 01:06:45.543 --> 01:06:47.212 then you're nothing. 01:06:47.253 --> 01:06:48.564 That's the message you're giving, Lana. 01:06:48.588 --> 01:06:50.215 And let me tell you something else 01:06:50.256 --> 01:06:51.216 about Jesus said, a prophet will not be accepted 01:06:51.257 --> 01:06:53.134 in his hometown. 01:06:53.176 --> 01:06:54.177 What? 01:06:54.219 --> 01:06:55.595 Oh, come on, get off the cross. 01:06:55.637 --> 01:06:57.180 We need the wood. 01:06:57.222 --> 01:07:00.934 That poor, poor, poor, poor girl. 01:07:00.975 --> 01:07:02.101 How many poor's was that? 01:07:04.020 --> 01:07:05.122 Look, she still asked for my number 01:07:05.146 --> 01:07:06.189 at the end of the show. 01:07:06.231 --> 01:07:07.565 Meaning what? 01:07:07.607 --> 01:07:09.126 Meaning she couldn't have been that sad 01:07:09.150 --> 01:07:10.985 because she was still trying to fuck me. 01:07:11.027 --> 01:07:12.779 Oh my goodness. 01:07:12.820 --> 01:07:14.113 Oh shit, this man. 01:07:14.155 --> 01:07:15.341 Why would you even bring that up? 01:07:15.365 --> 01:07:16.741 - Okay. - You're sick. 01:07:16.783 --> 01:07:18.201 Mr. Special, can I remind you, 01:07:18.243 --> 01:07:20.119 we are live and there are children watching. 01:07:20.161 --> 01:07:21.663 Amen. 01:07:21.704 --> 01:07:22.848 I bring it up, Lana, because it's all 01:07:22.872 --> 01:07:24.165 part of the same sickness. 01:07:24.207 --> 01:07:26.417 If you bag a night with a celebrity, 01:07:26.459 --> 01:07:28.312 it's just another way of trying to prove that you're worthy. 01:07:28.336 --> 01:07:30.004 She should know she is worthy. 01:07:30.046 --> 01:07:31.273 She shouldn't need to prove it. 01:07:31.297 --> 01:07:32.549 That's not a life. 01:07:32.590 --> 01:07:33.817 That's not a life worth living. 01:07:33.841 --> 01:07:35.218 - This... - This dude. 01:07:36.344 --> 01:07:38.638 Why don't we talk about your background? 01:07:38.680 --> 01:07:40.598 We tried doing a little research on you 01:07:40.640 --> 01:07:42.976 before you came on the show and we couldn't find anything. 01:07:43.017 --> 01:07:44.185 I know what this is. 01:07:44.227 --> 01:07:45.186 Where'd you grow up? 01:07:45.228 --> 01:07:47.188 This is the point of the show 01:07:47.230 --> 01:07:49.566 where you are trying to resuscitate your career. 01:07:49.607 --> 01:07:51.568 Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca. 01:07:51.609 --> 01:07:52.485 - Ca! - Take it down a notch. 01:07:52.527 --> 01:07:54.112 Did I hit a nerve? 01:07:54.153 --> 01:07:55.697 You want to know who I am, Ted? 01:07:58.449 --> 01:07:59.826 You wanna know the real me? 01:08:02.453 --> 01:08:07.709 I eat, I shit, and I'll die like everybody else. 01:08:07.750 --> 01:08:09.294 You want me to shit, Ted? 01:08:09.335 --> 01:08:10.813 - I'll shit for you, Ted. - Profanity. 01:08:10.837 --> 01:08:12.505 Want to see the real me? 01:08:12.547 --> 01:08:14.149 You wanna see me shit Ted? 01:08:14.173 --> 01:08:15.651 'Cause I'll, you know, I'll, I'll shit. 01:08:15.675 --> 01:08:18.136 - Oh yeah, right. - This is what happens, kids, 01:08:18.177 --> 01:08:22.181 when you try to attack the system. 01:08:22.223 --> 01:08:25.226 The system will try to attack you 01:08:25.268 --> 01:08:28.646 and the only way to beat the system 01:08:28.688 --> 01:08:33.318 is to take a big, fat, shit on it. 01:08:33.359 --> 01:08:35.111 - Oh my... - Security. 01:08:35.153 --> 01:08:36.153 Woo! 01:08:37.488 --> 01:08:38.488 Woo! 01:08:39.949 --> 01:08:40.949 Ya-hoo! 01:08:42.660 --> 01:08:43.703 You want a taste, honey? 01:08:43.745 --> 01:08:45.747 Whoa, hey, hey. 01:08:45.788 --> 01:08:47.081 Mark, get 'em Mark! 01:08:47.915 --> 01:08:48.833 What's everyone afraid of? 01:08:48.875 --> 01:08:50.293 It's just play-do. 01:08:55.214 --> 01:08:56.883 Come and get me. 01:08:56.924 --> 01:08:57.943 Come and get me, come and get me, come and get me. 01:08:57.967 --> 01:08:58.967 No, no, no, Mark! 01:08:59.927 --> 01:09:01.137 Don't touch him. 01:09:01.179 --> 01:09:02.388 I'll find someone to sue you! 01:09:02.430 --> 01:09:04.140 This is a fight for your life! 01:09:04.182 --> 01:09:05.725 This is the fight for your life! 01:09:05.767 --> 01:09:07.435 Don't watch anything. 01:09:07.477 --> 01:09:08.936 Don't view anything. 01:09:08.978 --> 01:09:10.480 Don't like anything. 01:09:10.521 --> 01:09:12.065 Don't click anything. 01:09:12.106 --> 01:09:14.067 Don't let them turn you into zombies. 01:09:14.108 --> 01:09:15.735 They're trying to kill you, unplug- 01:09:19.113 --> 01:09:20.299 Go, 90, 9°, 9°, drive, drive, drive. 01:09:20.323 --> 01:09:21.550 - Drive, drive! - Go, go, go, go! 01:09:21.574 --> 01:09:23.451 - Woo! - You are crazy! 01:09:29.248 --> 01:09:30.248 Are you okay? 01:09:33.586 --> 01:09:35.296 Hey. 01:09:35.338 --> 01:09:37.006 I gotta be at this thing. 01:09:37.048 --> 01:09:38.299 What is it? 01:09:38.341 --> 01:09:39.401 Oh, it's just some pool party 01:09:39.425 --> 01:09:40.760 Mark wants me to go to. 01:09:40.802 --> 01:09:42.512 You would hate it. You wanna come? 01:09:42.553 --> 01:09:43.553 Okay. 01:09:49.352 --> 01:09:51.354 All right, that's my ride. 01:09:51.396 --> 01:09:52.396 I gotta go. 01:09:53.731 --> 01:09:54.731 Hey. 01:09:56.943 --> 01:09:57.943 Always us. 01:10:08.830 --> 01:10:13.793 I greasy train wheels squeal like crying children I 01:10:14.961 --> 01:10:19.048 I oh yes, they shriek like moaning lovers I 01:10:19.090 --> 01:10:21.050 I whoa whoa whoa oh I 01:10:21.092 --> 01:10:25.847 I greasy train wheels squeak like crying children I 01:10:27.265 --> 01:10:31.352 I oh yes they shriek like moaning lovers I 01:10:31.394 --> 01:10:33.438 I whoa whoa whoa oh I 01:10:33.479 --> 01:10:38.443 I all the love is flowing from my heart I 01:10:39.694 --> 01:10:44.365 I all the love is flowing from my heart I 01:10:49.203 --> 01:10:50.329 thank you. 01:10:59.338 --> 01:11:00.338 Hey. 01:11:02.425 --> 01:11:04.010 Is that your song? 01:11:04.051 --> 01:11:05.051 Yeah. 01:11:06.137 --> 01:11:07.472 It's beautiful. 01:11:07.513 --> 01:11:08.513 Thank you. 01:11:09.724 --> 01:11:10.724 I'm sorry. 01:11:12.143 --> 01:11:13.143 I'm sorry, too. 01:11:15.521 --> 01:11:16.856 I really need your help. 01:11:18.608 --> 01:11:20.860 It's all falling apart and I need you to come back 01:11:20.902 --> 01:11:22.236 so I can put it back together. 01:11:23.738 --> 01:11:25.490 I want to go back to the way things were. 01:11:25.531 --> 01:11:27.658 I want to incorporate more of your ideas. 01:11:27.700 --> 01:11:28.700 I can't. 01:11:40.463 --> 01:11:43.132 Was it you that leaked the footage of Isabelle? 01:11:43.174 --> 01:11:44.467 Wow, really? 01:11:45.384 --> 01:11:46.803 Is that why you came back here? 01:11:46.844 --> 01:11:48.513 To see if I leaked the fucking video? 01:11:48.554 --> 01:11:49.615 You think I want to subject that girl 01:11:49.639 --> 01:11:50.807 to even more humiliation? 01:11:50.848 --> 01:11:51.933 Who do you think I am? 01:11:54.894 --> 01:11:56.020 He's full of shit. 01:11:59.565 --> 01:12:01.067 That's not even his name. 01:12:01.108 --> 01:12:02.819 He's not who he says he is. 01:12:02.860 --> 01:12:04.403 I spoke to his brother. 01:12:04.445 --> 01:12:06.285 He was the one yelling at him in the graveyard. 01:12:06.989 --> 01:12:08.491 He's a rich kid. 01:12:08.533 --> 01:12:11.160 Really. His parents are alive. 01:12:11.202 --> 01:12:12.578 Link's parents died. 01:12:15.581 --> 01:12:16.916 His brother tracked us down. 01:12:17.917 --> 01:12:18.751 Here. 01:12:18.793 --> 01:12:20.503 Read this. 01:12:20.545 --> 01:12:21.546 Okay? 01:12:21.587 --> 01:12:23.464 There's a lot in here. 01:12:23.506 --> 01:12:24.465 He burned down his school. He's been institutionalized. 01:12:24.507 --> 01:12:26.425 The family is covering it up. 01:12:26.467 --> 01:12:28.553 You can call me jealous, you can call me pathetic, 01:12:28.594 --> 01:12:30.346 but I am telling you he is a liar 01:12:30.388 --> 01:12:31.764 and you need to open your eyes. 01:12:36.727 --> 01:12:39.355 Why would you do this? 01:12:39.397 --> 01:12:40.940 Because I'm in love with you. 01:12:43.568 --> 01:12:45.069 And I've always been in love with you, 01:12:45.111 --> 01:12:46.911 and I know that doesn't even matter, but I am. 01:12:53.619 --> 01:12:54.619 I'm sorry. 01:13:18.853 --> 01:13:20.563 What do you call that? 01:13:20.605 --> 01:13:21.623 Trust me, I'm gonna get you out of here. 01:13:21.647 --> 01:13:22.607 You gotta kick the habit. 01:13:22.648 --> 01:13:23.983 Do you eat peanuts? 01:13:24.025 --> 01:13:25.526 There's a lot of peanuts in Thai food. 01:13:25.568 --> 01:13:26.628 All right, intimacy levels are too high. 01:13:26.652 --> 01:13:27.570 Abort mission. 01:13:27.612 --> 01:13:28.821 Why'd you do that? 01:13:28.863 --> 01:13:30.132 It's beautiful, it's a part of you. 01:13:30.156 --> 01:13:31.356 You gotta be dumb to be smart. 01:13:33.367 --> 01:13:34.577 Shit! 01:13:40.666 --> 01:13:41.584 Hey Frankie. 01:13:41.626 --> 01:13:43.169 Hey Frankie. 01:13:43.210 --> 01:13:44.503 Hey Frankie. 01:13:44.545 --> 01:13:45.545 Hey Frankie. 01:13:46.964 --> 01:13:47.965 Are you okay? 01:13:48.007 --> 01:13:49.425 I'm fine. 01:13:49.467 --> 01:13:50.611 - I just cut my hand. - Oh, shit. 01:13:50.635 --> 01:13:51.928 - Oh, I'm sorry. - No, no, no. 01:13:51.969 --> 01:13:53.429 - Can I see? - Yeah, yeah. 01:13:53.471 --> 01:13:56.015 Ow. 01:13:56.057 --> 01:13:57.350 I'm sorry. 01:13:57.391 --> 01:13:58.476 - It's okay. - That sucks. 01:13:58.517 --> 01:13:59.602 Okay, keep pressure on it. 01:14:00.561 --> 01:14:02.063 I'll get you something. 01:14:02.104 --> 01:14:04.982 Uh, let's see what we got in here. 01:14:05.024 --> 01:14:07.193 We're gonna fix you up. 01:14:07.234 --> 01:14:09.070 Here, this is going to be nice. 01:14:09.111 --> 01:14:10.111 Let me see. 01:14:19.205 --> 01:14:21.832 I wanted to tell you I got this kind of big news 01:14:22.875 --> 01:14:25.503 and I didn't want to share with anybody but you. 01:14:29.423 --> 01:14:31.092 What is it? 01:14:31.133 --> 01:14:33.511 They want me to headline a live stream event for YouTube. 01:14:38.349 --> 01:14:43.229 And I just realized that I got nothing to say without you. 01:14:43.270 --> 01:14:45.314 It scares me. 01:14:45.356 --> 01:14:47.858 I've never felt this way about another human being before. 01:15:17.555 --> 01:15:22.518 I you've gotta wonder what the story means I 01:15:27.106 --> 01:15:32.069 I it's under all of us, it goes unseen I 01:15:33.738 --> 01:15:35.573 I you've given your purpose I 01:15:35.614 --> 01:15:38.659 I now they've taken your dream I 01:15:38.701 --> 01:15:43.247 I but you can't hide behind the two extremes I 01:15:43.289 --> 01:15:47.501 I your weight in the world I 01:15:47.543 --> 01:15:48.878 I could definitely do it. 01:15:48.919 --> 01:15:51.172 Yeah, it's very easy to do. 01:15:52.798 --> 01:15:53.924 What the fuck? 01:15:56.093 --> 01:15:57.344 It's crazy. 01:15:57.386 --> 01:15:59.263 It's crazy. 01:15:59.305 --> 01:16:01.140 Imagine this place full of people? 01:16:01.182 --> 01:16:02.683 A couple hundred lucky ticket holders, 01:16:02.725 --> 01:16:04.727 an estimated five million watching live. 01:16:04.769 --> 01:16:07.521 - Around the world! - Around the world! 01:16:08.856 --> 01:16:10.316 Crazy. 01:16:10.357 --> 01:16:11.835 And Mark thinks I can fly in from the back. 01:16:11.859 --> 01:16:12.902 Why? 01:16:12.943 --> 01:16:15.321 Spectacle is why. Look at this. 01:16:15.362 --> 01:16:17.990 But we haven't even figured out what we're gonna say? 01:16:19.992 --> 01:16:21.911 Maybe we'll figure that out later. 01:16:21.952 --> 01:16:23.764 And you're even gonna hear 'em over the screaming anyway. 01:16:23.788 --> 01:16:24.828 Let me show you something. 01:16:26.123 --> 01:16:26.707 You guys wanna see something crazy? 01:16:26.749 --> 01:16:28.292 Sure. 01:16:28.334 --> 01:16:30.753 This right here, this is a trap door. 01:16:30.795 --> 01:16:31.921 Whoa! 01:16:31.962 --> 01:16:32.962 Oh! 01:16:50.397 --> 01:16:52.233 Roberts faced heavy trolling 01:16:52.274 --> 01:16:54.527 on social media after a clip surfaced of the game show. 01:16:54.568 --> 01:16:57.780 Mr. Special defended his actions at a round table discussion 01:16:57.822 --> 01:17:01.033 where he accused Ms. Roberts of trying to seduce him. 01:17:01.075 --> 01:17:02.868 She couldn't have been that sad 01:17:02.910 --> 01:17:04.745 because she was still trying. 01:17:04.787 --> 01:17:06.747 If you bag a night with a celebrity, 01:17:06.789 --> 01:17:09.142 it's just another way of trying to prove that you're worthy. 01:17:09.166 --> 01:17:11.836 She shouldn't need to prove it. That's not a life. 01:17:11.877 --> 01:17:13.963 That's not a life worth living. 01:17:14.004 --> 01:17:15.756 Early reports suggest 01:17:15.798 --> 01:17:17.550 she hanged herself in her bedroom closet. 01:17:17.591 --> 01:17:21.053 A coroner at the scene says he does not believe... 01:18:49.725 --> 01:18:51.477 Mark. 01:18:51.518 --> 01:18:52.728 Mark. 01:18:54.021 --> 01:18:54.980 Have you seen this? 01:18:55.022 --> 01:18:55.814 Everybody hates me. 01:18:55.856 --> 01:18:57.274 Everyone's blaming me. 01:18:57.316 --> 01:18:59.944 It says no one special's canceled. 01:19:01.195 --> 01:19:02.505 This asshole needs to burn in hell. 01:19:02.529 --> 01:19:04.073 How are we going to fix it? 01:19:04.114 --> 01:19:06.992 You told her her life wasn't worth living. 01:19:07.034 --> 01:19:08.744 I didn't ask her to kill herself. 01:19:10.913 --> 01:19:11.913 Are you blaming me, too? 01:19:12.998 --> 01:19:14.667 Oh, oh, oh. 01:19:14.708 --> 01:19:18.087 Wow, wow, wow, fu... 01:19:18.128 --> 01:19:20.047 A girl is dead and all you care about 01:19:20.089 --> 01:19:21.757 is what people are saying about you. 01:19:25.302 --> 01:19:26.762 Jake talked to your brother. 01:19:29.014 --> 01:19:32.935 Have you told me one single thing that was true? 01:19:43.320 --> 01:19:44.320 I'm sorry. 01:19:47.783 --> 01:19:49.076 I'm sorry I didn't stop you. 01:21:05.861 --> 01:21:10.115 Hey guys, so I read the news about link and Isabelle 01:21:10.157 --> 01:21:12.034 and I want to apologize for even having 01:21:12.076 --> 01:21:13.619 that guy on the show. 01:21:13.660 --> 01:21:14.846 To Isabelle, my condolences go out to you. 01:21:14.870 --> 01:21:15.954 This makes me so mad. 01:21:15.996 --> 01:21:17.706 This could have been prevented. 01:21:17.748 --> 01:21:19.059 - What's up with this dude? - You're a joke. 01:21:19.083 --> 01:21:20.518 - This woman is dead... - Thrown in jail! 01:21:20.542 --> 01:21:22.628 That girl was just a fuckin' ho... 01:21:22.669 --> 01:21:23.855 - He had very good points. - Murderer. 01:21:23.879 --> 01:21:25.172 He killed that girl. 01:21:25.214 --> 01:21:26.441 I like how he tells it how it is. 01:21:26.465 --> 01:21:28.092 This guy is an a-one scumbag. 01:21:28.133 --> 01:21:29.903 I think that no one special should be president. 01:21:29.927 --> 01:21:31.804 -I just wanna say- -fuck no one special. 01:21:31.845 --> 01:21:34.890 - You suck. - We love no one special. 01:24:05.040 --> 01:24:07.960 I want to dedicate this performance to Isabelle Roberts. 01:24:08.001 --> 01:24:09.962 Isabelle was an amazing girl 01:24:11.213 --> 01:24:14.132 and she passed away tragically two days ago. 01:24:14.174 --> 01:24:16.343 I want to send out all my love, 01:24:16.385 --> 01:24:20.889 my thoughts, and my prayers to her family and her friends. 01:24:23.267 --> 01:24:24.393 And I wanna say I'm sorry. 01:24:26.895 --> 01:24:27.895 I'm sorry. 01:24:39.908 --> 01:24:44.037 I've been told that I should feel some responsibility 01:24:44.079 --> 01:24:45.455 for what happened and... 01:24:46.540 --> 01:24:49.459 But I can't just stand here and... 01:24:50.669 --> 01:24:51.837 Shut up, shut up, shut up. 01:24:51.878 --> 01:24:54.298 That, that part's canceled. 01:24:54.339 --> 01:24:57.342 I can't just stand here and accept responsibility 01:24:57.384 --> 01:24:59.845 for someone else's choices, actions, 01:24:59.886 --> 01:25:03.348 and in fact it was you who pushed her 01:25:03.390 --> 01:25:05.100 over the fucking cliff's edge. 01:25:07.728 --> 01:25:11.315 Yeah, you, with your gutless trolling. 01:25:12.524 --> 01:25:15.068 You killed her, motherfucker! 01:25:15.110 --> 01:25:16.278 All of you killed her. 01:25:16.320 --> 01:25:17.738 That's the truth. 01:25:17.779 --> 01:25:18.965 And you're trying to kill me, too, 01:25:18.989 --> 01:25:20.049 and I'm not gonna let it happen. 01:25:20.073 --> 01:25:21.241 No, not today. 01:25:21.283 --> 01:25:22.283 Not ever. 01:25:25.245 --> 01:25:27.664 Easy to talk shit when it's behind a screen, right? 01:25:27.706 --> 01:25:29.833 What about right now? I dare you. 01:25:29.875 --> 01:25:31.894 Come through that computer screen you're hiding behind, 01:25:31.918 --> 01:25:34.963 stand in this room, stand face to face, do it to my face. 01:25:35.005 --> 01:25:36.673 Anybody in the room, anybody? 01:25:41.386 --> 01:25:44.097 Look, maybe I did push Isabelle too far. Maybe I did. 01:25:44.139 --> 01:25:47.267 I pushed her too far. Maybe I was using her for views. 01:25:47.309 --> 01:25:49.853 I'll cop to that, but I did it for you. 01:25:52.522 --> 01:25:55.067 You see what this shit is doing to us? 01:25:55.108 --> 01:25:56.652 We're not real to each other anymore 01:25:56.693 --> 01:25:58.862 and we're all just using each other. 01:25:58.904 --> 01:26:00.364 This isn't a vi... 01:26:00.405 --> 01:26:02.008 I'm not a video game. I'm not two dimensional. 01:26:02.032 --> 01:26:04.242 I'm not two-d. I'm flesh and I'm blood. 01:26:04.284 --> 01:26:06.370 You're all flesh and blood. 01:26:06.411 --> 01:26:07.954 Isabelle was flesh and blood. 01:26:08.789 --> 01:26:10.350 We're all just fucking killing each other, 01:26:10.374 --> 01:26:11.374 like it's sport. 01:26:14.252 --> 01:26:15.252 We're fucked. 01:26:16.838 --> 01:26:18.298 Oh, you want me to be nice? 01:26:18.340 --> 01:26:19.883 I almost had you, didn't I? 01:26:19.925 --> 01:26:24.179 With the candles and the choir and the singing. 01:26:26.014 --> 01:26:28.225 That's what we want him to say. What a good boy. 01:26:28.266 --> 01:26:30.143 He's playing so nice. 01:26:30.185 --> 01:26:31.603 We can let him back in the club. 01:26:32.813 --> 01:26:35.524 Fuck that club! 01:26:35.565 --> 01:26:37.526 I'm trying to wake you up from that club, 01:26:37.567 --> 01:26:40.153 you numbed out, dead inside zombies! 01:26:42.322 --> 01:26:44.116 You're all dead! 01:26:44.157 --> 01:26:45.157 You're all numb! 01:26:46.410 --> 01:26:47.953 I'm sorry. 01:26:47.994 --> 01:26:49.621 This is the first time in my life 01:26:49.663 --> 01:26:51.516 where I felt a part of something bigger than me, 01:26:51.540 --> 01:26:52.725 something that I don't want to lose. 01:26:52.749 --> 01:26:54.000 I don't want to lose you, 01:26:55.961 --> 01:26:58.338 but I refuse to let you straitjacket me! 01:27:02.426 --> 01:27:03.593 I can't. 01:27:03.635 --> 01:27:05.303 I gotta speak my truth, man. 01:27:05.345 --> 01:27:06.596 I gotta speak my truth. 01:27:06.638 --> 01:27:08.348 You know, what's crazy? 01:27:10.308 --> 01:27:11.727 I want to do what I want. 01:27:11.768 --> 01:27:13.770 I'm on the stage. I don't give a fuck. 01:27:13.812 --> 01:27:15.397 I'll fuckin' hump the stage. 01:27:22.863 --> 01:27:26.783 I'm not gonna play fucking coldplay songs. 01:27:26.825 --> 01:27:29.369 I'm not gonna play coldplay songs. 01:27:29.411 --> 01:27:31.329 Fucking watch coldplay! 01:27:31.371 --> 01:27:33.373 You're trying to kill my deep, profound, 01:27:33.415 --> 01:27:35.000 life giving impulse. 01:27:35.041 --> 01:27:36.418 I'm not gonna let you do it. 01:27:36.460 --> 01:27:37.627 No! Hell no. 01:27:37.669 --> 01:27:38.669 Not today. 01:27:41.798 --> 01:27:43.592 You know what the best part of all this is? 01:27:43.633 --> 01:27:45.427 You're just the same as me, 01:27:45.469 --> 01:27:48.013 way down there in that deep dark pit 01:27:48.054 --> 01:27:49.598 you're afraid to look inside. 01:27:49.639 --> 01:27:51.975 I'm just the only one that's willing to say it. 01:27:56.563 --> 01:27:58.315 My name is Alex goodrich. 01:28:00.484 --> 01:28:01.651 I'm from Connecticut, 01:28:04.154 --> 01:28:06.656 and this is the first time I'm telling you the truth. 01:28:09.534 --> 01:28:11.328 And all I need to know is 01:28:12.871 --> 01:28:15.373 are you with me or are you against me? 01:28:20.337 --> 01:28:23.089 And if you're with me, click that like button. 01:28:30.931 --> 01:28:31.931 Fuck you. 01:28:34.309 --> 01:28:35.309 You're welcome. 01:28:45.570 --> 01:28:48.490 No one special! No one special! 01:28:48.532 --> 01:28:50.951 No one special! No one special! 01:28:51.952 --> 01:28:53.620 No one special! 01:28:53.662 --> 01:28:57.666 Special, special, special, special, special, 01:28:57.707 --> 01:28:59.876 special, special, special. 01:30:52.113 --> 01:30:56.534 I seeing it fell down I 01:30:56.576 --> 01:30:59.996 I didn't make a sound I 01:31:00.038 --> 01:31:05.001 I can you live here anymore I 01:31:05.835 --> 01:31:10.590 I what's outside your door I 01:31:10.632 --> 01:31:13.760 I home is on the floor I 01:31:13.802 --> 01:31:18.765 I can you be here anymore I 01:31:19.724 --> 01:31:24.437 I it's taken longer than you've seen back home I 01:31:26.690 --> 01:31:27.857 I yeah I 01:31:54.384 --> 01:31:58.930 I seeing it fell down I 01:31:58.972 --> 01:32:02.475 I didn't make a sound I 01:32:02.517 --> 01:32:07.480 I can you live here anymore I 01:32:08.314 --> 01:32:12.819 I what's outside your door I 01:32:12.861 --> 01:32:16.322 I home is on the floor I 01:32:16.364 --> 01:32:21.286 I can you be here anymore I 01:32:21.911 --> 01:32:26.875 I it's taken longer than you've seen back home I 01:32:28.835 --> 01:32:33.298 I it's harder in the background I 01:32:33.339 --> 01:32:37.635 I you try to make someone confused I 01:32:37.677 --> 01:32:42.307 I they're seeing where you come from I 01:32:42.348 --> 01:32:47.520 I it's worse when it's all you can do I 01:32:47.562 --> 01:32:51.775 I ooh ooh ooh I 01:32:51.816 --> 01:32:56.529 I it's harder in the background I 01:32:56.571 --> 01:33:00.784 I you try to make someone confused I 01:33:00.825 --> 01:33:05.538 I they're seeing where you come from I 01:33:05.580 --> 01:33:10.752 I it's worse when it's all you can do I 01:33:19.552 --> 01:33:23.973 I seeing it fell down I 01:33:24.015 --> 01:33:27.560 I didn't make a sound I 01:33:27.602 --> 01:33:32.565 I can you live here anymore I 01:33:33.274 --> 01:33:37.821 I what's outside your door I 01:33:37.862 --> 01:33:41.741 I home is on the floor I 01:33:41.783 --> 01:33:47.038 I can you be here anymore I 01:33:47.080 --> 01:33:52.043 I it's taken longer than you've seen back home I 01:33:53.962 --> 01:33:58.383 I it's harder in the background I 01:33:58.424 --> 01:34:02.846 I you try to make someone confused I 01:34:02.887 --> 01:34:07.559 I they're seeing where you come from I 01:34:07.600 --> 01:34:12.772 I it's worse when it's all you can do I 01:34:12.814 --> 01:34:16.776 I ooh ooh ooh I 01:34:16.818 --> 01:34:21.281 I it's harder in the background I 01:34:21.322 --> 01:34:25.785 I you try to make someone confused I 01:34:25.827 --> 01:34:30.582 I they're seeing where you come from I 01:34:30.623 --> 01:34:35.837 I it's worse when it's all you can do I 01:34:35.879 --> 01:34:38.464 I ooh ooh ooh I 01:34:38.488 --> 01:34:58.488 Telegram Channel and Instagram Page .:: Telegram: @bollbolljan ::. .:: Instagram: @bollbolljan_Com ::.