WEBVTT
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..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::..
.:: www.bolboljan.net ::.
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And now,
it's time for a breakdown.
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Mmm, mmm, mmm, yeah...
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Man, I told you Robbie Wheirdicht
showers here during first period.
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Why doesn't he just shower at home
like a normal person?
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Look at him.
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Does anything about that
look normal to you?
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You know, he's actually
a pretty good dancer.
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I mean, fuck that guy is different!
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Let's wreck him.
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Hey, Weird Dick!
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Come on.
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Finally, young ladies and young gentlemen,
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it is my pleasure
to announce that the winner
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of the National High School
Student of the Year Award
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is none other than your very own
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two-time student body president,
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the captain of
Central High's All Valley track team,
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president of the drama club
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and the senior voted
"Most Likely to Succeed."
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I gotta tell you folks,
after 40 years as an educator,
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he is my favorite student.
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I wish he were my son
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if I were medically able to have children.
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He's everybody's
favorite all-around guy...
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Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner! Come on!
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Golden Jet!
Golden Jet! Golden Jet!
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Oh, my goodness.
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Wow! Wow, guys.
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Hey! How about a hand
for Principal Kent, huh?
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Huh?
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Honestly, if my mom
was into white guys, it would be you.
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I know it would, okay?
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Well, as we all know,
this is our last assembly,
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which means this is the last time
in front of you guys
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that I'll be able to tell
the most beautiful girl in the world...
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I'm talking about you, Maggie Johnson,
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that I love you. I love you, baby. I do.
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I'm gonna put it in my pocket.
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I'll save it.
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Okay.
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All right, guys. We're seniors now.
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And once we get those diplomas,
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the decisions that we make after that
are all up to us.
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I don't know what path
life is gonna take me on.
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But I can promise you all this...
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That I, for one, will push myself
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at every stage, at every step.
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So, I got one question to ask.
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I got one question for
the graduating class of 1996
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and that's "Will you..."
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Check out my Weird Dick!
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Hey. Here, here, man.
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Thank you.
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Well, there's no coming back from that.
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Calvin Joyner, everybody,
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voted "Most Likely to Succeed."
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Golden Jet!
Golden Jet! Golden Jet!
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Yo. Check it.
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Oh, come on, man.
I don't want to see that.
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Oh, no, no, it's my dick.
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I know what it is. I don't want to see it.
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Hilarious.
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No, I'm working on this new sexting app.
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It's kind of like Instagram, right?
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But, instead of filters,
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it just makes your junk look huge.
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Like, three to six inches bigger.
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It's called "Junk Mail." Clever, right?
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- No, and here's why...
- Sorry, hang on, one second.
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I'm just gonna...
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What are you doing?
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Okay, and send.
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Sorry, you were saying something boring.
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You just sent a dick pic.
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It's called dating, grandma. Look it up.
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Why are you all cranky-pants
this morning, huh?
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Oh. It's because Ethan got promoted
instead of you?
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Ethan got promoted?
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Youngest senior associate
in the history of the firm.
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Corner office, the whole deal.
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Didn't he used to be your assistant?
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Who cares? Hey, you should
come to lunch with us.
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We're gonna be celebrating his pro-mosh!
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It'll probably be good for you
to kiss the ring a bit.
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"Kiss the ring a bit"?
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Hey, you play your chessboard
however you like, okay?
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Me, lunch today?
I'm gonna French kiss that thing.
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Aah...
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I can't. I'm taking my wife
to lunch today, so...
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All right. Bummer for you.
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Right?
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Can you just get out of my face?
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#Blessed.
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To a guy I not only consider my coworker,
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but my personal friend.
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- To Ethan!
- Cheers!
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Do you wanna move tables?
I know this kind of sucks.
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No, no. It doesn't suck.
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Hey, if I wanted to get
one of those ice teas
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but I want most of it to be bourbon...
What is that called?
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Okay. How about we change the topic
to something a little more fun?
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Anything else, please.
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Oh, how about...
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This is the dress
that I'm thinking about wearing.
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Oh!
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Honey, I want every single girl
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to be jealous tomorrow night.
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Oh.
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What?
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I just... I just don't want to go.
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Calvin, it's our 20-year
high school reunion.
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I'm not gonna go without you.
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We agreed we were going. I RSVP'd for us.
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I just changed my mind. That's all.
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Okay. I see.
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You're disappointed
about the promotion. I get it.
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This is not about the promotion.
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Okay, this has to do with me
not wanting to spend my Friday night
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answering the
"What are you doing now?" question.
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That's what I'll get all night.
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"Hey, Calvin, what are you doing now?"
"I'm an accountant."
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"An accountant? Really?
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"I thought you would be the governor, man.
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"Wait a minute. Didn't you get voted
'Most Likely to Succeed'?
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"I guess we missed that one."
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Is this why you've been
so weird and moody lately?
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'Cause you're freaking out
about the reunion?
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- No.
- And what's the matter
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with being an accountant?
You love your job.
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No, you love your job.
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I'm good at my job.
It's not the same thing.
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Honey, that's not fair.
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You're a partner at your firm.
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Instead, I work
in a building with a giant,
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inflatable gorilla out in front of it.
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Look, I don't want to be
the guy that peaked in high school
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and, after he peaked,
his life went like this...
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I don't know the sound
that that thing makes,
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but you know what I'm trying to do.
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I'm the guy that went down, okay?
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- Yeah.
- Then my life
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down here became a disappointment.
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That's what I'll be.
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Wow.
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What?
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I had no idea that your life with me
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was such a soundless,
crashing disappointment!
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Don't do that.
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- That's not... Don't do that.
- That's the sound.
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You want to know the sound
I'm about to make right now?
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The sound of me not going.
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That's the sound I'm making.
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I'm not going.
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Yeah.
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Mmm-mmm-mmm.
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No.
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Not going to that.
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Bob Stone?
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Okay.
00:10:27.140 --> 00:10:28.140
Hello?
00:10:28.340 --> 00:10:30.695
- Hey.
- Girl, you scared me.
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- I did?
- Yes. I thought that you were...
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I just... On the...
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Never mind. Hey, I'm glad you called.
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I'm sorry about lunch today.
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I'm an idiot, babe.
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I don't even know
what's going on with me right now.
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- I really don't.
- Yeah?
00:10:47.780 --> 00:10:49.771
Actually, honey,
00:10:49.980 --> 00:10:51.820
that's what I was calling
to talk to you about.
00:10:52.380 --> 00:10:55.417
Look, honey, I think that
we should see someone.
00:10:56.460 --> 00:10:59.452
What do you mean, "Someone"?
What do you mean?
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See someone, like a therapist.
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Honey, black people don't go to therapy.
00:11:05.060 --> 00:11:06.459
We go to barbershops.
00:11:06.620 --> 00:11:08.140
That's where we talk out our problems.
00:11:08.300 --> 00:11:10.609
Or we watch the movie Barbershop.
One or the other.
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Look, my parents were really unhappy
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for a long time before they got divorced.
00:11:14.580 --> 00:11:18.050
And maybe if they saw someone sooner,
they would still be married.
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I just want to nip this thing in the bud,
whatever it is.
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I don't want to end up like my parents.
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Wassup?
00:11:33.540 --> 00:11:35.735
Please, just do it for me,
if not for you.
00:11:36.860 --> 00:11:38.009
All right. Uh...
00:11:38.860 --> 00:11:41.818
- When? When do you want to do it?
- Really?
00:11:42.340 --> 00:11:44.137
The doctor said
he could see us at 6:00 p.m.
00:11:44.820 --> 00:11:47.175
Um... 6:00 p. m., when? Tonight?
00:11:47.340 --> 00:11:49.171
Yeah. Yeah, is that a problem?
00:11:49.340 --> 00:11:53.253
Holy shit! Robbie Wheirdicht?
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Calvin, honey? Hello?
00:11:56.940 --> 00:11:58.373
Um, yeah.
00:11:58.540 --> 00:12:01.452
I can't. I already
made plans for tonight, baby.
00:12:01.620 --> 00:12:03.850
- Plans with who?
- With Bob Stone.
00:12:04.060 --> 00:12:06.051
Who's Bob Stone?
That sounds like a fake name.
00:12:06.220 --> 00:12:09.530
No, no. You remember
Robbie Wheirdicht, from high school?
00:12:09.700 --> 00:12:10.700
No.
00:12:10.900 --> 00:12:12.930
The guy who got beaten up
by Trisha Demarco at homecoming?
00:12:12.940 --> 00:12:13.975
No.
00:12:14.140 --> 00:12:16.610
The kid that tried to rap along to
Coolio's 1,2,3,4 at the talent show
00:12:16.620 --> 00:12:18.370
but then he kinda lost his way,
midway through
00:12:18.380 --> 00:12:20.170
so he just started bopping his head,
and he stood there?
00:12:20.180 --> 00:12:21.693
No. Nothing.
00:12:21.900 --> 00:12:24.210
The guy who got thrown out the gym,
butt-ass-naked, senior year?
00:12:24.220 --> 00:12:25.220
Oh, my God, yeah!
00:12:25.380 --> 00:12:27.018
Why wouldn't you start with that?
00:12:27.220 --> 00:12:29.130
Because I thought that was kind of mean.
I don't know.
00:12:29.140 --> 00:12:30.650
He never came back
to school after that, right?
00:12:30.660 --> 00:12:32.855
Like, not for finals
or graduation or anything.
00:12:33.060 --> 00:12:34.891
Didn't he join the military or something?
00:12:35.060 --> 00:12:36.971
I'm not sure.
I don't know if he did or not,
00:12:37.140 --> 00:12:39.495
but he changed his name to "Bob Stone"
00:12:39.660 --> 00:12:41.860
and apparently he's in town
for the high school reunion.
00:12:41.900 --> 00:12:44.130
He wants to go to dinner tonight,
and I kinda already said "yes."
00:12:44.140 --> 00:12:45.290
- Okay.
- If you want me to cancel,
00:12:45.300 --> 00:12:46.733
I will. You know?
00:12:46.900 --> 00:12:48.420
If that's what you want, I don't mind.
00:12:48.980 --> 00:12:51.050
Mmm-mmm. I mean,
it's a little weird, but whatever.
00:12:51.220 --> 00:12:53.575
I'll just see if the doctor
can fit us in tomorrow.
00:12:53.740 --> 00:12:55.856
- How about at lunch time?
- Okay. All right, fine.
00:12:56.020 --> 00:12:57.248
Okay, good. I love you.
00:12:57.420 --> 00:12:59.138
I love you, too, babe. I do.
00:13:04.820 --> 00:13:05.876
- Oh, my...
- What is that?
00:13:05.900 --> 00:13:07.697
- Okay.
- Calvin? Are you...
00:13:07.860 --> 00:13:08.860
Love you. Bye-bye.
00:13:11.980 --> 00:13:12.980
No!
00:13:13.500 --> 00:13:14.774
Stop, stop!
00:13:15.140 --> 00:13:16.334
Hey, man. I...
00:13:16.540 --> 00:13:18.576
Hey! What's up, guys?
00:13:19.100 --> 00:13:21.694
Congratulations on that promotion, man.
00:13:21.860 --> 00:13:22.860
It's quite the thing.
00:13:23.260 --> 00:13:25.854
Thank you.
Hey, that's not work appropriate.
00:13:26.180 --> 00:13:27.180
Yup.
00:13:27.340 --> 00:13:28.932
Not cool, man. Not cool.
00:13:32.460 --> 00:13:34.132
Hey, forward that to me.
00:13:45.660 --> 00:13:46.900
For real man, seriously?
00:13:46.980 --> 00:13:48.652
Yeah. Watch it, punk.
00:13:51.140 --> 00:13:52.539
Excuse you, too.
00:14:12.300 --> 00:14:13.300
My man!
00:14:13.460 --> 00:14:14.859
Back the fuck up!
00:14:15.700 --> 00:14:17.053
- Whoa!
- Back up, man!
00:14:17.340 --> 00:14:19.217
Fine. I'll give you these fists.
00:14:19.500 --> 00:14:20.615
I'll fist your ass.
00:14:20.940 --> 00:14:22.339
Calvin. It's me, Bob.
00:14:23.340 --> 00:14:25.331
What? Sorry, do I know you?
00:14:26.300 --> 00:14:27.300
Do you know...
00:14:27.460 --> 00:14:30.452
Robbie Wheirdicht from high school!
00:14:31.620 --> 00:14:33.292
Are you kidding? What?
00:14:33.780 --> 00:14:36.169
- Wait, you're Robbie Wheirdicht?
- Yeah!
00:14:36.940 --> 00:14:39.613
God, man, look at you!
You've lost, like, 200 pounds!
00:14:39.780 --> 00:14:41.372
I see you gained it back in muscle.
00:14:41.540 --> 00:14:43.132
Oh, my God! You look great!
00:14:43.420 --> 00:14:45.217
- No, you look great!
- Stop it.
00:14:45.380 --> 00:14:47.735
No, you haven't changed
since high school, dude!
00:14:48.020 --> 00:14:51.137
No, you're just sexy as dick right now.
00:14:51.300 --> 00:14:53.336
You don't look somebody
in the eyes and say that.
00:14:53.500 --> 00:14:54.535
Hey, let's get hammered.
00:14:54.900 --> 00:14:56.936
I got an early day at work,
so I'll probably...
00:14:57.100 --> 00:14:58.169
No, come on, I'm buying!
00:14:58.340 --> 00:14:59.340
Oh, shit.
00:14:59.900 --> 00:15:00.900
Mmm.
00:15:01.460 --> 00:15:03.928
I'm sorry, man. I am blown away right now.
00:15:04.300 --> 00:15:06.291
Dude, you used to be Fat Robbie.
00:15:06.540 --> 00:15:08.770
Look at you!
This is like a total transformation.
00:15:08.940 --> 00:15:10.578
You look like Hercules or somebody.
00:15:10.740 --> 00:15:12.250
What did you do? Come on, give it to me.
00:15:12.260 --> 00:15:14.216
- I didn't do much, really.
- Stop it.
00:15:14.740 --> 00:15:16.731
All right. I just did one thing.
00:15:17.060 --> 00:15:18.095
Come on, I need to know.
00:15:18.540 --> 00:15:20.735
I worked out six hours a day, every day,
00:15:20.900 --> 00:15:22.379
for the last 20 years straight.
00:15:24.020 --> 00:15:26.534
- I mean, anybody can do it, right?
- Yeah.
00:15:27.620 --> 00:15:31.454
Yeah. You know, I've gotten into hot yoga.
00:15:33.140 --> 00:15:34.539
I started doing some sessions.
00:15:34.700 --> 00:15:35.700
Uh-huh.
00:15:37.140 --> 00:15:38.368
Nice unicorn, man.
00:15:38.540 --> 00:15:40.735
Oh, yeah,
I'm big-time into 'corns.
00:15:40.940 --> 00:15:42.055
So magical, right?
00:15:42.220 --> 00:15:44.415
You know, they're the most
lethal animal on the planet.
00:15:44.820 --> 00:15:45.820
Here you go.
00:15:45.980 --> 00:15:47.971
Guys, my name's Lexi.
00:15:48.140 --> 00:15:49.570
Just let me know if you need anything.
00:15:49.580 --> 00:15:50.729
Okay.
00:15:51.060 --> 00:15:54.257
I mean, like, anything at all.
00:15:54.700 --> 00:15:56.099
Okie-dokie.
00:15:56.820 --> 00:15:59.459
You're funny. Do you ever, like, Snapchat?
00:15:59.620 --> 00:16:02.259
- Oh, no. You know...
- I wasn't talking to you.
00:16:02.940 --> 00:16:04.060
No, no, no. I don't do that.
00:16:04.100 --> 00:16:06.614
I'm just catching up
with an old friend from high school.
00:16:07.340 --> 00:16:09.456
Aw. You're so sweet.
00:16:10.900 --> 00:16:12.299
I think unicorns are sexy, too.
00:16:14.780 --> 00:16:16.500
That must happen to you
all the time, right?
00:16:16.900 --> 00:16:17.969
Ah, nah.
00:16:18.500 --> 00:16:20.297
I mean, all that meaningless sex is just...
00:16:20.460 --> 00:16:22.098
It's not my bag anymore, CJ.
00:16:23.380 --> 00:16:25.620
No, now, I'm looking for
more of an emotional connection.
00:16:25.820 --> 00:16:26.889
The next woman I lay with,
00:16:27.060 --> 00:16:28.812
she's gonna be beautiful on the inside,
00:16:28.980 --> 00:16:30.652
just as much as she is on the outside.
00:16:31.540 --> 00:16:32.660
Hey, wait. Whatever happened
00:16:32.780 --> 00:16:34.250
to that girl that you liked
in high school?
00:16:34.260 --> 00:16:36.820
Oh, God, man. The "Doogie Howser" girl.
00:16:36.980 --> 00:16:38.811
She was 14, but somehow she was a senior.
00:16:38.980 --> 00:16:40.095
She wore a cape.
00:16:40.820 --> 00:16:43.050
- Darla McGuckian.
- Darla McGuckian.
00:16:43.220 --> 00:16:44.972
"Yucky Gucky."
00:16:45.260 --> 00:16:47.649
- Didn't she have a lazy eye or something?
- Two of 'em.
00:16:48.140 --> 00:16:49.140
Right.
00:16:49.220 --> 00:16:50.370
Hey, but listen,
I don't wanna talk about me.
00:16:50.380 --> 00:16:51.380
I wanna talk about you.
00:16:51.540 --> 00:16:52.970
I heard that
you and Maggie Johnson got hitched.
00:16:52.980 --> 00:16:54.493
Oh, yeah.
00:16:54.740 --> 00:16:56.458
Yeah, man, right after college.
00:16:56.620 --> 00:17:00.010
Wow! The prettiest girl in school,
and the coolest guy in school!
00:17:00.180 --> 00:17:01.180
Oh, man, I got lucky.
00:17:01.340 --> 00:17:02.810
I mean, you guys are like
a power couple, dude!
00:17:02.820 --> 00:17:04.333
- No, no.
- Yes!
00:17:04.500 --> 00:17:07.333
You're like Taylor Swift
and whoever she's dating right now.
00:17:07.500 --> 00:17:09.968
- Power.
- Uh, thanks!
00:17:10.180 --> 00:17:11.613
Yeah. You guys got kids?
00:17:11.820 --> 00:17:13.173
No. No kids yet.
00:17:13.340 --> 00:17:15.251
We planned on it after college,
00:17:15.420 --> 00:17:18.457
but Maggie went to law school,
I kept changing jobs.
00:17:18.660 --> 00:17:22.016
You know, having kids just
isn't in our cards right now.
00:17:22.180 --> 00:17:23.330
Not at this point, that's all.
00:17:23.340 --> 00:17:24.375
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
00:17:24.740 --> 00:17:28.016
I don't wanna talk about
me and Maggie and myself.
00:17:28.180 --> 00:17:29.580
What about you? What are you doing?
00:17:29.740 --> 00:17:31.780
I didn't even ask you, man.
What do you do for work?
00:17:32.020 --> 00:17:33.373
I'm a government contractor.
00:17:33.580 --> 00:17:36.219
Okay, that's cool.
Like, what, buildings and stuff?
00:17:37.140 --> 00:17:38.140
Yeah, sort of.
00:17:39.020 --> 00:17:40.214
But I kinda just got fired.
00:17:40.540 --> 00:17:42.496
- Oh, shit! I'm sorry, man.
- Oh, it's okay.
00:17:42.660 --> 00:17:45.333
Screw those guys, anyway.
They're way too corporate.
00:17:45.580 --> 00:17:48.378
'Cause dudes like me and you,
I mean, we're alpha dogs, right?
00:17:48.580 --> 00:17:50.411
I mean, we're pathfinders
and trailblazers.
00:17:50.580 --> 00:17:53.253
And we don't listen
to what anyone tells us, right?
00:17:54.740 --> 00:17:56.139
- Yeah, right.
- Yeah.
00:17:56.300 --> 00:18:00.737
I mean, come on, man,
I sorta path-find a little bit
00:18:00.900 --> 00:18:05.018
along certain preapproved parameters
that are given to me.
00:18:05.180 --> 00:18:08.570
I'm willing to path-find
but it's all about how it's set up.
00:18:08.740 --> 00:18:13.131
But within the box that I have, I go nuts.
You'll be surprised.
00:18:13.340 --> 00:18:14.690
I had a guy tell me the other day,
00:18:14.700 --> 00:18:17.533
"Hey, Calvin, you know,
I need those accounting numbers back
00:18:17.700 --> 00:18:19.099
"from, you know, the file."
00:18:19.300 --> 00:18:22.098
- I said, "Go fuck yourself, Jim."
- Yeah.
00:18:22.260 --> 00:18:25.491
I didn't say it
because I wasn't in my box,
00:18:26.260 --> 00:18:29.491
- but I thought about it.
- Exactly! Yeah! Yeah!
00:18:30.060 --> 00:18:31.539
I got an idea. Let's do shots!
00:18:31.700 --> 00:18:32.769
No!
00:18:32.940 --> 00:18:34.692
I'm sorry for saying it like that, but no.
00:18:34.860 --> 00:18:36.620
I haven't had shots
in almost 10 years, man.
00:18:36.740 --> 00:18:38.935
What? Come on, we have to!
We're celebrating!
00:18:39.940 --> 00:18:40.940
Celebrating what?
00:18:41.100 --> 00:18:43.410
Celebrating that I'm hanging
with the coolest kid in high school.
00:18:43.420 --> 00:18:45.251
- Stop it.
- Calvin Joyner!
00:18:45.740 --> 00:18:47.617
The Golden Jet.
00:18:48.860 --> 00:18:51.579
You got to be shitting me. Wow!
00:18:52.300 --> 00:18:54.018
I haven't... God!
00:18:54.620 --> 00:18:56.611
It's been forever since I heard that, man!
00:18:56.780 --> 00:18:57.820
- I'll do one.
- All right!
00:18:57.940 --> 00:18:58.940
- One shot.
- Shots!
00:18:59.140 --> 00:19:00.209
No. One shot.
00:19:00.380 --> 00:19:02.450
Just one, okay? Bob, it's been a while.
00:19:03.860 --> 00:19:04.980
Oh, shit! You remember this?
00:19:05.100 --> 00:19:06.613
This was the jammy-jam!
00:19:06.780 --> 00:19:08.771
What's that? Is that a fanny pack, Bob?
00:19:08.980 --> 00:19:10.459
Hell, yeah! Dude, you want one?
00:19:10.620 --> 00:19:11.973
No, it's okay.
00:19:12.140 --> 00:19:13.580
I got two at home. I'll hook you up.
00:19:13.780 --> 00:19:15.930
Leather pack for The Jet.
00:19:16.100 --> 00:19:17.135
Fanny!
00:19:17.300 --> 00:19:18.574
Shit.
00:19:19.220 --> 00:19:21.097
What the hell did I get myself into?
00:19:21.700 --> 00:19:23.258
Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm.
00:19:23.660 --> 00:19:26.299
Hey, sir, somebody's
actually sitting there.
00:19:26.500 --> 00:19:28.650
- Yeah, someone was.
- No! Hey, man!
00:19:28.980 --> 00:19:30.490
Hey, you don't see
the sweatshirt right here?
00:19:30.500 --> 00:19:33.060
- Man, somebody's sitting here.
- Move your meat, lose your seat.
00:19:33.100 --> 00:19:34.410
Dude, you don't
have to be a dick about it.
00:19:34.420 --> 00:19:35.700
Somebody's sitting in the chair.
00:19:35.940 --> 00:19:38.659
Bro, are you seriously
gonna go there, bro?
00:19:39.500 --> 00:19:41.456
'Cause there's only one way back, bro.
00:19:41.620 --> 00:19:43.736
Through intensive care, bro.
00:19:45.340 --> 00:19:47.649
Was that the last "bro"?
'Cause if it was, then I'll talk.
00:19:47.820 --> 00:19:49.094
That supposed to be funny?
00:19:49.340 --> 00:19:50.659
- Dude...
- You a comedian now?
00:19:50.940 --> 00:19:52.976
'Cause you don't look like
Dane Cook to me, bro.
00:19:53.140 --> 00:19:54.619
Hey, now!
00:19:55.420 --> 00:19:56.489
What's the rumpus?
00:19:56.740 --> 00:19:57.890
You know...
There's no problem, man.
00:19:57.900 --> 00:20:00.181
Let's just go to another table.
Get your jacket. Let's go.
00:20:00.500 --> 00:20:02.730
- No, we're not gonna go anywhere.
- Listen to your pussy friend.
00:20:02.740 --> 00:20:05.129
Those gym muscles
aren't scaring anybody, pal.
00:20:05.300 --> 00:20:07.336
- Oh, these?
- Let's just go. It's okay.
00:20:07.540 --> 00:20:10.008
No, we're not gonna go.
This man insulted you.
00:20:10.180 --> 00:20:11.980
And we're not gonna leave
until he apologizes.
00:20:12.140 --> 00:20:14.176
- It's okay.
- Hey, we got a problem here?
00:20:14.380 --> 00:20:16.371
- No, no.
- Yeah, we got a big problem.
00:20:16.540 --> 00:20:19.213
Your friend, here,
really insulted my friend
00:20:19.380 --> 00:20:20.420
and he needs to apologize.
00:20:20.540 --> 00:20:21.540
I don't think he does.
00:20:21.700 --> 00:20:22.700
He doesn't.
00:20:22.860 --> 00:20:24.737
Oh, you know what, man?
00:20:24.900 --> 00:20:27.330
I think this whole situation's
getting a little out of control.
00:20:27.340 --> 00:20:28.489
I can fix this whole thing.
00:20:28.660 --> 00:20:31.015
I'll order some nachos. The "Explosions."
00:20:31.180 --> 00:20:33.535
It's got four cheeses!
Let's eat 'em together.
00:20:33.700 --> 00:20:34.860
You know what? You take them.
00:20:34.940 --> 00:20:35.940
Let's go.
00:20:36.100 --> 00:20:37.370
Nah. We're not going anywhere, Jet.
00:20:37.380 --> 00:20:38.980
This whole thing will be over in a jiff.
00:20:39.020 --> 00:20:40.533
Hey, how about this?
00:20:40.740 --> 00:20:43.208
Why don't you and your boyfriend
apologize to Big Rick here
00:20:43.380 --> 00:20:45.575
and then go jerk each other
in the parking lot?
00:20:46.060 --> 00:20:47.060
That's a lot...
00:20:47.180 --> 00:20:48.215
Yeah. You're right, CJ.
00:20:48.380 --> 00:20:51.019
That's a lot of homophobia
coming out of a very angry man.
00:20:51.340 --> 00:20:53.700
You need to go get that looked at
by a trained professional.
00:20:53.860 --> 00:20:56.055
But, since you have
escalated this whole scenario
00:20:56.220 --> 00:20:57.699
by bringing what I can only assume
00:20:57.860 --> 00:21:00.249
is an unlicensed firearm
into this public place,
00:21:00.420 --> 00:21:02.570
endangering the lives
of all these innocent people,
00:21:02.740 --> 00:21:05.538
I can no longer,
in good conscience, walk away
00:21:05.700 --> 00:21:07.418
and jerk anyone off in the parking lot.
00:21:07.580 --> 00:21:09.696
I'm afraid we ain't going anywhere.
00:21:09.860 --> 00:21:11.250
It's time for you to get out of here, pal.
00:21:11.260 --> 00:21:12.693
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:21:13.500 --> 00:21:15.331
There's four of us, tough guy.
00:21:16.100 --> 00:21:17.499
Yeah. I got that.
00:21:18.100 --> 00:21:19.770
All right. Before
this whole thing goes down,
00:21:19.780 --> 00:21:21.010
you should know one thing about me.
00:21:21.020 --> 00:21:22.020
What's that?
00:21:25.940 --> 00:21:27.419
I don't like bullies.
00:21:38.780 --> 00:21:39.929
Let's go, Jet.
00:21:41.020 --> 00:21:42.248
Yes.
00:21:43.740 --> 00:21:46.254
Oh, my God! I hope he's Catholic.
00:21:49.260 --> 00:21:50.773
Oh, my God!
00:21:50.980 --> 00:21:52.413
What the hell was that?
00:21:52.580 --> 00:21:54.610
Bob, that was amazing!
I've never seen anything like that!
00:21:54.620 --> 00:21:56.340
You took the one guy,
you hit him like this.
00:21:56.460 --> 00:21:57.796
He couldn't breathe.
00:21:57.820 --> 00:21:59.219
I sat there, I'm looking at him...
00:21:59.380 --> 00:22:00.810
You talkin' to him like,
"I don't like bullies."
00:22:00.820 --> 00:22:02.530
I was like, "That's not a good line."
But it was!
00:22:02.540 --> 00:22:03.730
I didn't even know you could fight!
00:22:03.740 --> 00:22:06.459
You had a unicorn shirt, a fanny pack,
and it totally worked!
00:22:06.660 --> 00:22:08.810
You were like Jason Bourne,
man, but with jorts!
00:22:08.980 --> 00:22:11.289
How did you do that?
Where'd you learn that stuff?
00:22:11.500 --> 00:22:13.297
I took a couple classes at work.
00:22:13.500 --> 00:22:14.819
I hope I didn't go too far.
00:22:14.980 --> 00:22:16.250
I'm sorry about ruining the night, Jet.
00:22:16.260 --> 00:22:19.138
Ruin my night?
No! It was the coolest thing ever, man!
00:22:19.340 --> 00:22:20.739
- Really?
- Yes!
00:22:20.900 --> 00:22:23.300
To see my boy go in and whoop ass
on those idiots back there.
00:22:23.380 --> 00:22:24.529
Dude, that was amazing!
00:22:24.780 --> 00:22:26.611
Wait, we're boys?
00:22:27.260 --> 00:22:28.329
Yeah, we boys.
00:22:29.980 --> 00:22:31.015
Wow. I...
00:22:32.900 --> 00:22:33.900
Never had a boy.
00:22:36.460 --> 00:22:38.735
- That's awesome! Come here!
- Oh, wait.
00:22:39.740 --> 00:22:41.412
Stop. What's going on, man?
00:22:41.580 --> 00:22:43.172
- I'm a hugger!
- What're you doing?
00:22:44.500 --> 00:22:47.617
Hey! I got an idea.
Let's roll. Here's my bike.
00:22:48.860 --> 00:22:49.929
Wait. That's your bike?
00:22:50.100 --> 00:22:51.818
Yeah. Kawasaki 800!
00:22:51.980 --> 00:22:53.413
I know what the bike is.
00:22:53.620 --> 00:22:55.292
I had the same bike in high school, man.
00:22:55.500 --> 00:22:57.092
- You still ride?
- No, man.
00:22:57.260 --> 00:22:58.450
I haven't ridden a bike in years!
00:22:58.460 --> 00:22:59.688
Come on, let's roll.
00:23:02.860 --> 00:23:04.373
Where? Where you trying to go?
00:23:04.700 --> 00:23:07.339
I know the perfect spot. Come on, Jet.
00:23:08.380 --> 00:23:09.859
You know, why not? Why not?
00:23:10.020 --> 00:23:12.215
After this... Yeah, okay!
00:23:12.620 --> 00:23:13.689
Let's roll.
00:23:15.740 --> 00:23:18.891
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, Bob! Slow, slow, slow!
00:23:19.380 --> 00:23:20.529
Bob, hey, hey!
00:23:26.700 --> 00:23:29.737
God, this is so crazy, man.
00:23:29.900 --> 00:23:31.618
This brings back so many memories.
00:23:32.940 --> 00:23:34.009
I don't know, CJ.
00:23:34.180 --> 00:23:35.890
I mean, high school
wasn't easy for me, man.
00:23:35.900 --> 00:23:37.050
I don't know if you know this,
00:23:37.060 --> 00:23:38.700
but I didn't have many friends back then.
00:23:39.380 --> 00:23:40.380
What?
00:23:40.940 --> 00:23:42.578
- Really?
- No.
00:23:42.740 --> 00:23:43.900
I don't know why I thought...
00:23:43.940 --> 00:23:45.259
True story.
00:23:45.420 --> 00:23:48.253
Man, I thought high school
was gonna be like Sixteen Candles
00:23:48.420 --> 00:23:50.217
and I was gonna be like Molly Ringwald.
00:23:50.380 --> 00:23:51.530
Sure, things were difficult
in the beginning,
00:23:51.540 --> 00:23:52.859
but then, by the end,
00:23:53.060 --> 00:23:54.254
everything worked out.
00:23:54.420 --> 00:23:56.490
And Jake Ryan picked her up
in that red Porsche.
00:23:56.660 --> 00:23:57.729
What-what?
00:23:57.940 --> 00:23:58.940
You ever see that movie?
00:24:00.220 --> 00:24:02.256
I'm black, so I don't know the...
00:24:02.420 --> 00:24:04.092
You gotta see it, dude.
00:24:04.260 --> 00:24:07.252
Total classic.
It's my favorite all-time movie.
00:24:07.420 --> 00:24:10.537
Then I realized high school
was nothing like Sixteen Candles.
00:24:11.780 --> 00:24:13.611
And I'll never be like Molly Ringwald.
00:24:15.620 --> 00:24:17.372
Yeah, well, depends on who you ask.
00:24:17.580 --> 00:24:19.093
That's the thing. For me, I...
00:24:20.700 --> 00:24:21.769
What's going on?
00:24:22.980 --> 00:24:24.208
Oh, wow.
00:24:26.100 --> 00:24:27.850
Hey, man, I just wanna say that
I'm really sorry
00:24:27.860 --> 00:24:30.294
about what Trevor and those guys
did to you back then.
00:24:37.140 --> 00:24:39.938
No biggie. I don't even
think about it anymore. No.
00:24:40.580 --> 00:24:41.729
Okay, good.
00:24:41.980 --> 00:24:43.770
Yeah. Here's the secret.
You know what I did, Jet?
00:24:43.780 --> 00:24:46.214
I took all that stuff
and I balled it up real tight
00:24:46.380 --> 00:24:48.894
and then I shoved it way down deep.
00:24:49.420 --> 00:24:51.411
And I just pretty much ignore it.
00:24:51.860 --> 00:24:54.613
You know, that sounds
really unhealthy, Bob.
00:24:54.900 --> 00:24:56.128
Hey, I gotta tell you.
00:24:56.300 --> 00:24:58.210
You were the only one
who helped me out that day.
00:24:58.220 --> 00:24:59.778
In the gym? Remember that?
00:24:59.940 --> 00:25:02.295
And you gave me your letterman's jacket!
00:25:02.500 --> 00:25:05.537
Hey, not for nothing,
but I never got that jacket back, man.
00:25:05.980 --> 00:25:06.980
Huh!
00:25:07.220 --> 00:25:08.938
Really? Strange.
00:25:09.980 --> 00:25:11.370
Hey, but listen, I just wanna thank you
00:25:11.380 --> 00:25:12.610
for what you did for me that day.
00:25:12.620 --> 00:25:13.940
That was really cool of you, Jet.
00:25:14.060 --> 00:25:16.020
Stop, man.
It was the right thing to do, you know?
00:25:17.700 --> 00:25:20.055
- You wanna hear something weird?
- What?
00:25:20.220 --> 00:25:21.938
I have not been naked since that day.
00:25:22.100 --> 00:25:23.419
I mean, not in front of anyone.
00:25:23.820 --> 00:25:24.889
Never.
00:25:25.060 --> 00:25:26.810
So, you're telling me
that for the last 20 years,
00:25:26.820 --> 00:25:28.651
you've never been seen
in your birthday suit?
00:25:28.860 --> 00:25:30.578
- No.
- So, what about when you have sex?
00:25:30.980 --> 00:25:33.130
I keep it pitch-black,
just like Vin Diesel.
00:25:33.700 --> 00:25:34.700
What?
00:25:36.140 --> 00:25:38.700
You know I've been wondering,
whatever happened to Trevor anyway?
00:25:38.860 --> 00:25:41.579
Did he get hit by a bus
or ripped apart by dogs
00:25:41.740 --> 00:25:43.776
or die slowly of anything?
00:25:43.980 --> 00:25:47.768
No. No, no.
He's a bigtime investment banker downtown.
00:25:48.380 --> 00:25:50.575
- Oh, hey, cool.
- Yeah.
00:25:50.740 --> 00:25:52.059
Good for him, man.
00:25:52.460 --> 00:25:54.974
Hey, Bob, look,
if you ever wanna talk, I'm here.
00:25:55.540 --> 00:25:57.098
So I don't mind, you know?
00:25:57.620 --> 00:25:58.810
I don't mind at all, if you wanna...
00:25:58.820 --> 00:25:59.820
What?
00:26:01.220 --> 00:26:02.972
Whoa.
00:26:03.700 --> 00:26:06.055
This is all our stuff from our year!
00:26:06.220 --> 00:26:09.053
Yeah. Must be getting ready
for the reunion tomorrow night.
00:26:09.220 --> 00:26:10.410
Come on, man. Let's get out of here.
00:26:10.420 --> 00:26:12.615
What? No! "Get out..."
Look, you're all over this!
00:26:12.820 --> 00:26:16.130
Look at this.
Basketball, baseball, cross country.
00:26:16.300 --> 00:26:17.528
Hamlet.
00:26:17.740 --> 00:26:18.740
Prom King.
00:26:18.900 --> 00:26:20.458
There's Darla McGuckian.
00:26:20.660 --> 00:26:22.537
Synchronized swimming, that's so sexy.
00:26:22.820 --> 00:26:25.380
This is like the Guinness Book
of Golden Jet Records right there.
00:26:26.620 --> 00:26:27.848
I see that.
00:26:29.140 --> 00:26:31.620
To be honest with you,
I don't even recognize this guy anymore.
00:26:32.180 --> 00:26:33.738
This guy, here, he was gonna...
00:26:33.900 --> 00:26:35.777
He was gonna conquer the world.
00:26:37.340 --> 00:26:38.932
If 18-year-old me could see me now,
00:26:39.140 --> 00:26:40.812
he'd probably think I was a total loser.
00:26:42.180 --> 00:26:44.011
What? That's crazy talk!
00:26:44.180 --> 00:26:45.693
- You're The Golden Jet, dude!
- Stop.
00:26:45.860 --> 00:26:48.693
Stop, Bob. Spare me
with The Golden Jet shit.
00:26:49.500 --> 00:26:51.570
I'm not The Golden Jet, man.
I'm an accountant.
00:26:51.780 --> 00:26:53.133
That's my reality.
00:26:56.180 --> 00:26:59.092
I just thought
I was meant for more, you know?
00:26:59.780 --> 00:27:01.771
My life would be something special.
00:27:03.700 --> 00:27:06.339
You know how they say every man
is the hero of his own story?
00:27:07.540 --> 00:27:08.609
Was that in Twilight?
00:27:09.260 --> 00:27:11.933
No, I don't think that's where it's from.
00:27:12.100 --> 00:27:14.136
But those books are cool, right? Vampires!
00:27:14.340 --> 00:27:16.331
And there's a wolf-boy.
00:27:16.500 --> 00:27:21.290
I'm not... I'm not talking
about Twilight, Bob, okay?
00:27:21.460 --> 00:27:22.770
I'm talking about the fact that
I don't feel like
00:27:22.780 --> 00:27:24.532
I'm the hero of my own story. That's...
00:27:24.700 --> 00:27:26.380
How are you not the hero
of your own story?
00:27:26.500 --> 00:27:27.933
No one else can be!
00:27:28.100 --> 00:27:29.852
Yo, CJ, I gotta be honest with you, man.
00:27:30.020 --> 00:27:31.660
I mean, all this talk about Calvin Joyner
00:27:31.700 --> 00:27:32.940
not feeling like he's a hero...
00:27:33.100 --> 00:27:34.613
That's crazy talk, man.
00:27:35.140 --> 00:27:36.732
No. No, it's not.
00:27:36.900 --> 00:27:38.580
You were the best thing about high school.
00:27:38.980 --> 00:27:40.299
I'll always believe in you.
00:27:40.460 --> 00:27:42.769
Yo, do you remember
those backflips you used to do?
00:27:43.580 --> 00:27:45.260
The crowd would go crazy!
I was there, too.
00:27:45.340 --> 00:27:47.331
I was, like, "What? How's he do that?"
00:27:47.540 --> 00:27:48.575
How did you do that?
00:27:50.460 --> 00:27:52.132
I don't know. I just did it, man.
00:27:52.660 --> 00:27:53.809
Exactly.
00:27:53.980 --> 00:27:54.980
So, do it now.
00:27:55.860 --> 00:27:58.772
No, no. You're crazy! No.
00:27:59.100 --> 00:28:00.169
What's that?
00:28:00.340 --> 00:28:01.530
What're you talking about? What's what?
00:28:01.540 --> 00:28:03.132
- Golden Jet!
- No, stop it.
00:28:03.300 --> 00:28:05.052
- Golden Jet!
- Okay, stop it!
00:28:05.220 --> 00:28:06.733
- Golden Jet!
- All right.
00:28:06.900 --> 00:28:08.219
Golden Jet!
00:28:08.380 --> 00:28:11.258
I'm not gonna stop until
you do The Golden Jet flip!
00:28:11.420 --> 00:28:12.420
Golden Jet!
00:28:12.580 --> 00:28:14.810
All right, everybody, settle down.
Settle down!
00:28:14.980 --> 00:28:17.494
If the crowd wants a Golden Jet flip,
00:28:17.660 --> 00:28:19.378
then they gonna get a Golden Jet flip.
00:28:19.540 --> 00:28:20.655
You go, girl!
00:28:23.460 --> 00:28:26.577
Oh, God!
00:28:26.740 --> 00:28:28.093
That was so close, Jet.
00:28:29.700 --> 00:28:30.700
Here, buddy. Come on.
00:28:31.900 --> 00:28:33.460
They must have just waxed these floors.
00:28:35.740 --> 00:28:37.492
That was definitely a first, man.
00:28:38.940 --> 00:28:40.373
Oh, man, I am beat.
00:28:40.940 --> 00:28:41.940
Oh.
00:28:43.940 --> 00:28:44.975
Hey, Jet!
00:28:45.260 --> 00:28:48.570
Man, I had a great time tonight.
00:28:48.740 --> 00:28:49.740
Whoa!
00:28:50.380 --> 00:28:52.371
You know what?
I had a good time, too, man.
00:28:52.540 --> 00:28:53.980
I feel like I needed this, you know?
00:28:54.140 --> 00:28:56.335
Yeah. Yeah. Me, too!
00:28:56.860 --> 00:28:57.860
Thank you.
00:28:58.060 --> 00:29:00.449
My pleasure, amigo. Any time.
00:29:00.620 --> 00:29:04.010
Hey, if there's ever anything
I can do for you, just say the word.
00:29:04.180 --> 00:29:06.694
Wow. You really mean that?
00:29:07.220 --> 00:29:08.255
Yeah.
00:29:08.420 --> 00:29:11.218
I wasn't gonna bring it up,
but I might as well.
00:29:11.420 --> 00:29:14.537
Lately, I've been having this problem
with my payroll account. And...
00:29:15.260 --> 00:29:16.420
It's all screwed up, somehow.
00:29:16.740 --> 00:29:19.971
You know, I was overseas
working for a while before I got fired.
00:29:20.140 --> 00:29:23.052
So, it's kinda like
a forensic international account thingy
00:29:23.260 --> 00:29:26.457
which, I think,
is kind of your specialty, right?
00:29:27.500 --> 00:29:28.500
Um...
00:29:28.900 --> 00:29:32.688
Yeah, no, it is.
I'll take a look at that for you.
00:29:32.900 --> 00:29:34.210
You would? You would do that for me?
00:29:34.220 --> 00:29:36.734
I've got the login info,
if you wanna crack open your computer,
00:29:36.940 --> 00:29:38.168
we can do this!
00:29:38.620 --> 00:29:40.178
Oh, you mean now?
00:29:40.340 --> 00:29:42.456
- That's awesome! Yeah!
- Okay.
00:29:42.620 --> 00:29:44.292
- Look at this!
- Hey, Bob...
00:29:44.460 --> 00:29:45.495
Whoa!
00:29:45.700 --> 00:29:47.050
Bob, you gotta keep your voice down!
00:29:47.060 --> 00:29:48.175
Maggie's sleeping.
00:29:49.340 --> 00:29:50.340
Wow.
00:29:50.980 --> 00:29:54.211
This is a pretty serious international
account dossier you've got here.
00:29:54.420 --> 00:29:57.537
Right? I just want to make sure
everything was hunky-dory.
00:30:01.900 --> 00:30:03.697
Going to your router.
00:30:03.860 --> 00:30:06.294
Now you're talking to me.
00:30:07.780 --> 00:30:09.850
Bingo. I'm in.
00:30:10.380 --> 00:30:12.655
Oh. That's great, Jet.
Thank you, man!
00:30:16.380 --> 00:30:18.371
I mean, just looking at it first-hand,
00:30:18.540 --> 00:30:21.850
it kinda looks like it's a bunch of
off-shore escrow accounts.
00:30:22.020 --> 00:30:23.533
These have been backwashed into
00:30:23.740 --> 00:30:26.777
a series of domestic dummy accounts
for some reason.
00:30:26.940 --> 00:30:29.500
I mean, the logs are all crazy, too.
You have China,
00:30:30.300 --> 00:30:31.733
Syria, Iran.
00:30:33.220 --> 00:30:34.573
This is an auction site, Bob!
00:30:35.900 --> 00:30:37.492
These are bids. All of these.
00:30:37.660 --> 00:30:40.220
This is hundreds of millions
of dollars in bids, right here.
00:30:40.420 --> 00:30:41.819
And judging by this clock, here,
00:30:41.980 --> 00:30:43.420
it says it's all gonna end tomorrow.
00:30:43.620 --> 00:30:44.655
Whoa!
00:30:44.820 --> 00:30:47.857
- What the hell? Why?
- What did...
00:30:48.020 --> 00:30:49.453
- Oh! I'm sorry, Jet!
- Bob!
00:30:49.620 --> 00:30:52.293
Jet, I'm so sorry! Oh, man.
00:30:52.460 --> 00:30:54.735
- I'm all thumbs.
- It's my computer!
00:30:54.940 --> 00:30:56.453
- I'm sorry.
- No! Please, Bob.
00:30:56.620 --> 00:30:58.010
- I'm sorry, Jet.
- Leave it. I got it.
00:30:58.020 --> 00:31:00.375
It's fine, Bob. It's fine. Just leave it.
00:31:00.540 --> 00:31:01.689
The worst!
00:31:01.980 --> 00:31:03.129
God!
00:31:03.540 --> 00:31:05.929
Hey! What the hell was that on that site?
00:31:06.100 --> 00:31:07.860
That didn't have
anything to do with payroll.
00:31:08.180 --> 00:31:10.171
I don't know. I've never seen that before.
00:31:10.340 --> 00:31:11.340
That was crazy.
00:31:11.540 --> 00:31:13.930
Let's figure it out tomorrow
when we're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
00:31:13.940 --> 00:31:16.249
What do you say, CJ? I am beat.
00:31:17.060 --> 00:31:18.413
Hey, do you mind if I crash here?
00:31:19.260 --> 00:31:20.534
Um...
00:31:21.620 --> 00:31:22.620
No.
00:31:24.140 --> 00:31:26.017
Let me go grab some blankets.
00:31:30.820 --> 00:31:33.129
Hey, thanks for the jammies, Jet.
00:31:34.420 --> 00:31:37.059
Okay, well, you can keep those.
00:31:37.220 --> 00:31:39.017
Those are... Those are officially yours.
00:31:40.460 --> 00:31:41.859
Yeah.
00:31:42.700 --> 00:31:44.497
- All right.
- Oh.
00:31:45.340 --> 00:31:46.820
You gonna sleep with your fanny pack.
00:31:46.980 --> 00:31:49.892
Golden Jet! Yeah, it's my baby.
00:32:01.500 --> 00:32:04.697
You need anything else? You're okay?
00:32:06.660 --> 00:32:10.050
I can't believe I'm having a sleepover
at Calvin Joyner's house right now.
00:32:10.260 --> 00:32:12.728
This is blowing my mind!
00:32:14.220 --> 00:32:15.220
Okay.
00:32:15.780 --> 00:32:16.780
Uh, good night, Bob.
00:32:17.780 --> 00:32:18.929
Good night, Jet.
00:32:38.700 --> 00:32:39.700
Me?
00:32:40.420 --> 00:32:41.614
Yeah, you.
00:32:47.300 --> 00:32:48.779
What the fuck?
00:32:51.660 --> 00:32:52.888
One second.
00:32:57.620 --> 00:32:58.814
Hold on.
00:33:03.300 --> 00:33:04.335
Uh, may I help you?
00:33:04.500 --> 00:33:06.013
Mr. Joyner, my name is Pamela Harris,
00:33:06.180 --> 00:33:08.455
I'm with the Central Intelligence Agency.
00:33:08.620 --> 00:33:10.975
Have you had any contact with this man?
00:33:11.580 --> 00:33:14.219
Uh, yeah, he's on my...
He's on my couch, sleeping.
00:33:14.380 --> 00:33:15.380
Target's in the house.
00:33:15.580 --> 00:33:17.775
What's going on? Hey!
00:33:17.940 --> 00:33:20.374
Excuse me. Excuse me!
00:33:24.100 --> 00:33:25.620
Target's fled.
00:33:25.820 --> 00:33:26.890
Shit.
00:33:27.140 --> 00:33:29.420
- Target's on the move.
- Excuse me! What...
00:33:33.700 --> 00:33:35.500
Hello, hey! Excuse me!
00:33:35.700 --> 00:33:37.890
- ...and voice chatter in the vicinity.
- Hello! Excuse me!
00:33:37.900 --> 00:33:40.250
If he's in the wind again,
it's gonna be your ass. Go now.
00:33:40.300 --> 00:33:42.450
- Hello!
- Alert Langley, asset uncontained.
00:33:42.620 --> 00:33:43.620
Excuse me!
00:33:43.650 --> 00:33:44.650
Can I help you?
00:33:44.700 --> 00:33:45.700
Hello!
00:33:45.880 --> 00:33:47.360
It's my house. Is something going on?
00:33:47.380 --> 00:33:49.814
Well, Mr. Joyner,
your sleepover buddy, Robert Wheirdicht,
00:33:49.980 --> 00:33:53.450
AKA Bob Stone, AKA Bob Golden,
AKA Bob Jet,
00:33:53.740 --> 00:33:55.617
is wanted for murder and treason
00:33:55.780 --> 00:33:58.419
and is presently in possession
of highly classified state secrets
00:33:58.620 --> 00:34:00.292
which he intends to sell to our enemies.
00:34:00.500 --> 00:34:01.535
What?
00:34:01.700 --> 00:34:05.488
And if he succeeds, it's gonna spark
a chain reaction of geopolitical events
00:34:05.660 --> 00:34:06.970
that most of our predictive models
00:34:06.980 --> 00:34:09.733
place somewhere between
World War III and outright Armageddon.
00:34:09.900 --> 00:34:12.209
So, yeah, I guess you could say
something is going on.
00:34:12.620 --> 00:34:13.620
Oh, you mind?
00:34:15.340 --> 00:34:17.900
Creamer's in the fridge. What?
00:34:18.100 --> 00:34:19.579
I don't need it.
00:34:19.740 --> 00:34:21.617
What I do need is information.
00:34:21.780 --> 00:34:24.613
I need you to tell me
everything and anything
00:34:24.780 --> 00:34:26.532
about your contact with Agent Stone.
00:34:27.420 --> 00:34:30.014
- Agent Stone?
- Bob, your friend Bob.
00:34:30.180 --> 00:34:31.977
Come on. Stay with me, please.
00:34:33.060 --> 00:34:35.210
Okay, I think there's a misunderstanding.
00:34:35.380 --> 00:34:37.530
No. No, he is not my friend.
00:34:37.740 --> 00:34:39.490
Then why did he list you
as his emergency contact
00:34:39.500 --> 00:34:40.649
in all his personnel forms?
00:34:40.940 --> 00:34:42.009
I'm sorry... He what?
00:34:42.180 --> 00:34:44.694
Bob Stone has no siblings, or parents,
or family of any kind.
00:34:45.020 --> 00:34:46.135
You are the only person
00:34:46.300 --> 00:34:48.495
he listed in his personal references.
00:34:48.700 --> 00:34:49.928
Oh...
00:34:50.100 --> 00:34:52.534
That's crazy, all right?
I barely even know the guy.
00:34:52.700 --> 00:34:54.130
Then why was he sleeping on your couch?
00:34:54.140 --> 00:34:55.490
Because we went out
and had drinks last night.
00:34:55.500 --> 00:34:57.460
Oh, so you went out drinking
with your non-friend?
00:34:58.340 --> 00:34:59.340
Okay.
00:34:59.940 --> 00:35:01.339
All right, let's... You're not...
00:35:01.820 --> 00:35:02.855
Time out.
00:35:03.060 --> 00:35:04.459
I'm pressing the time out button.
00:35:04.620 --> 00:35:08.056
Okay? You guys barged in my house.
I pay my taxes.
00:35:08.340 --> 00:35:11.491
So you're not gonna come here
and treat me like I'm the enemy, okay?
00:35:11.660 --> 00:35:14.050
That's the first thing.
Now, if you want to get into facts...
00:35:14.060 --> 00:35:15.539
You wanna talk about facts?
00:35:15.740 --> 00:35:16.740
This is Facebook's fault.
00:35:16.900 --> 00:35:18.050
Are you familiar with Facebook?
00:35:18.060 --> 00:35:19.095
We surveil it.
00:35:19.260 --> 00:35:20.818
He sent me a friend request.
00:35:20.980 --> 00:35:22.420
That's how this whole thing started.
00:35:22.620 --> 00:35:23.689
And you accepted?
00:35:24.420 --> 00:35:26.138
Don't do that. Don't do that to me.
00:35:26.300 --> 00:35:29.656
You give me a second. Okay?
Don't fire back like that.
00:35:29.820 --> 00:35:31.936
First of all,
fuck Mark Zuckerberg, all right?
00:35:32.100 --> 00:35:34.455
Now, I accepted because it was Facebook.
00:35:34.620 --> 00:35:35.970
And it's rude when you don't accept it
00:35:35.980 --> 00:35:37.290
and I don't know
if the person on the other end
00:35:37.300 --> 00:35:39.609
can see me not accept it.
That's why I accepted.
00:35:39.780 --> 00:35:41.259
Are you nervous, Mr. Joyner?
00:35:41.580 --> 00:35:42.615
Is it hot?
00:35:42.780 --> 00:35:44.657
Are you getting hot?
Because I'm getting hot.
00:35:44.820 --> 00:35:46.139
I'm not gonna take off my jacket
00:35:46.300 --> 00:35:47.938
because that makes me look guilty.
00:35:48.100 --> 00:35:50.489
And that's what you guys look for. Hmm?
00:35:50.900 --> 00:35:53.255
Is this what a guilty man would do?
00:35:53.500 --> 00:35:55.809
Look how comfortable I am.
00:35:56.460 --> 00:35:58.980
I'm gonna lean up against this counter,
and I'm not gonna sweat.
00:35:59.700 --> 00:36:03.454
I'm not gonna...
I'm not gonna look flustered at all.
00:36:03.660 --> 00:36:05.491
I'm... Bring it.
00:36:05.940 --> 00:36:07.134
What you want to know?
00:36:07.460 --> 00:36:08.495
Hmm?
00:36:08.660 --> 00:36:09.809
- Mr. Joyner.
- Yeah.
00:36:09.980 --> 00:36:11.811
Bob Stone is a dangerous psychotic.
00:36:12.140 --> 00:36:14.131
- You're lucky to be alive.
- Okay, listen to me.
00:36:14.340 --> 00:36:17.138
Agent Harris, I don't know this man.
00:36:17.420 --> 00:36:19.170
He's just a little weird kid
that I knew in high school.
00:36:19.180 --> 00:36:20.850
He used to put Rice Krispies Treats
in my locker.
00:36:20.860 --> 00:36:22.330
Sometimes I ate 'em, sometimes I didn't.
00:36:22.340 --> 00:36:23.739
I wasn't in carbs back then
00:36:24.100 --> 00:36:26.060
'cause I didn't want that weight
going to my hips.
00:36:26.100 --> 00:36:28.500
As a man, you don't want big hips,
especially in high school.
00:36:28.660 --> 00:36:30.969
Bottom line,
I have no allegiance to this man.
00:36:31.140 --> 00:36:32.698
Zero ties, okay?
00:36:32.900 --> 00:36:34.049
All ties are cut.
00:36:34.220 --> 00:36:36.176
I cut them, so this is me and you.
00:36:36.660 --> 00:36:38.332
So don't put me and him...
00:36:38.740 --> 00:36:40.890
I ain't in this shit, okay?
00:36:41.700 --> 00:36:43.975
All right, Mr. Joyner. Prove it.
00:36:44.860 --> 00:36:46.452
Yeah, well, I need a second.
00:36:46.660 --> 00:36:49.128
You gotta step outside.
I gotta take a shit.
00:36:49.300 --> 00:36:50.494
This is a lot.
00:36:50.660 --> 00:36:52.969
I got to go. Just give me a second, man!
00:36:53.780 --> 00:36:55.736
- I'll be waiting.
- Jesus Christ!
00:37:06.100 --> 00:37:08.853
All teams be advised,
we're Oscar Mike with the bait.
00:37:09.060 --> 00:37:10.650
I'm sorry, did you just
call me "the bait"?
00:37:10.660 --> 00:37:11.695
No.
00:37:11.900 --> 00:37:13.090
Yeah, you did.
She just called me the bait.
00:37:13.100 --> 00:37:14.100
Why am I the bait?
00:37:14.260 --> 00:37:15.930
No, that doesn't sound like
something I'd ever say.
00:37:15.940 --> 00:37:18.090
- You just said it.
- What's going on here?
00:37:18.260 --> 00:37:19.898
Sir, I'm gonna need you to step aside.
00:37:20.060 --> 00:37:22.210
This is a matter of national security.
00:37:22.500 --> 00:37:23.728
Yeah, right! I love it.
00:37:23.900 --> 00:37:26.260
What is this? Like a strippergram thing
to suck up to Ethan?
00:37:26.420 --> 00:37:27.899
Gotta love strippers. So dirty.
00:37:28.060 --> 00:37:30.016
Show us your tits! Show us your tits!
00:37:30.180 --> 00:37:32.899
Hey, let's see some titty!
00:37:35.940 --> 00:37:38.056
- This you?
- Yeah, right here.
00:37:38.220 --> 00:37:39.733
You did this to yourself.
00:37:45.100 --> 00:37:47.409
- Small.
- Yeah.
00:37:54.580 --> 00:37:55.580
It's my wife.
00:37:56.460 --> 00:37:59.099
Mr. Joyner, it is my legal obligation
to inform you
00:37:59.260 --> 00:38:01.979
that you are now a part of
a highly classified covert action.
00:38:02.140 --> 00:38:04.370
So, say hello to your wife
and then get off the phone.
00:38:04.540 --> 00:38:05.734
Am I clear?
00:38:05.900 --> 00:38:07.413
Don't tell my wife shit. Got it.
00:38:08.260 --> 00:38:09.375
Don't tell your wife shit.
00:38:10.780 --> 00:38:12.372
- What line?
- Line one.
00:38:14.620 --> 00:38:16.660
Hey, Mags.
Hey, I can't really talk right now, babe.
00:38:16.740 --> 00:38:19.573
- I got a lot going on.
- Okay, okay. I get it. You're hungover.
00:38:19.740 --> 00:38:21.651
Listen, Dr. Dan can see us today at lunch.
00:38:21.900 --> 00:38:24.414
- Wait a minute, Dr. Dan?
- The therapist, remember?
00:38:24.580 --> 00:38:27.856
So, I'm thinking we should just
meet at home and go together. Thank you.
00:38:28.020 --> 00:38:31.217
Go. Go on,
and I'll just see you there, okay?
00:38:31.380 --> 00:38:32.540
But I got to really go, babe.
00:38:32.660 --> 00:38:34.410
I'm slammed in here.
So, I gotta get off the phone.
00:38:34.420 --> 00:38:37.020
- All right. Jeez! Is everything okay?
- Everything is fine, babe.
00:38:37.140 --> 00:38:39.529
I gotta keep the line clear.
I love you. Bye, I gotta go.
00:38:40.900 --> 00:38:42.049
Love you. Bye.
00:38:42.620 --> 00:38:43.620
Hmm.
00:38:44.340 --> 00:38:45.375
"Hmm." What?
00:38:45.540 --> 00:38:48.338
I'm an expert in speech pathology
and psycho-lingual subtext.
00:38:48.500 --> 00:38:50.650
Your wife is not fulfilled
in your relationship.
00:38:50.900 --> 00:38:51.900
Wait, what?
00:38:52.260 --> 00:38:53.659
Also, she wants to have a baby.
00:38:54.220 --> 00:38:55.414
Where are you getting...
00:38:59.100 --> 00:39:00.613
Calvin Joyner, Accounting.
00:39:03.300 --> 00:39:05.450
Hello? Calvin Joyner, Accounting.
00:39:06.220 --> 00:39:07.220
Calvin?
00:39:10.580 --> 00:39:12.650
It's Bob! It's Bob!
00:39:12.820 --> 00:39:14.048
Act natural.
00:39:14.220 --> 00:39:16.336
Calvin. Is that you?
00:39:16.500 --> 00:39:17.649
Are you there?
00:39:18.380 --> 00:39:20.575
Well, hey. Well, yeah.
00:39:21.500 --> 00:39:23.331
Yeah, wassup?
00:39:24.180 --> 00:39:26.740
What up, Bobby-o?
00:39:26.900 --> 00:39:29.095
Are you quite well?
00:39:29.260 --> 00:39:30.329
I'm in big trouble.
00:39:30.500 --> 00:39:32.775
Oh, God! I screwed up.
I screwed up big time.
00:39:32.940 --> 00:39:35.056
We gotta talk. Can you meet me?
00:39:35.220 --> 00:39:37.415
Sure. Yeah. Where?
Where do you want me to meet you?
00:39:37.580 --> 00:39:39.780
I'm in the stairwell of your building,
two flights down.
00:39:39.980 --> 00:39:41.174
- Stairwell?
- Hurry!
00:39:42.620 --> 00:39:44.810
- He's in the stairwell, two flights down!
- Move, move!
00:39:44.820 --> 00:39:45.889
Alert Charlie team.
00:39:46.140 --> 00:39:48.051
Hold on. What's going on? Am I safe here?
00:39:48.260 --> 00:39:50.170
As long as Bob Stone
is in the building, no one's safe.
00:39:50.180 --> 00:39:52.057
Get back in your office now!
00:39:56.660 --> 00:39:57.854
Okay!
00:39:58.060 --> 00:40:00.096
Good news is we heard her, guys.
00:40:00.380 --> 00:40:03.258
So, everybody, let's all just stay calm.
00:40:03.420 --> 00:40:05.854
As long as... As long... Shit!
00:40:08.900 --> 00:40:10.856
What the hell is going on?
00:40:11.020 --> 00:40:12.169
- Relax.
- Hey.
00:40:12.340 --> 00:40:14.020
Great job at
getting them out of here, Jet.
00:40:14.180 --> 00:40:15.329
- Oh, Bob!
- That's teamwork!
00:40:15.700 --> 00:40:17.380
Wait! How did you... What did you just do?
00:40:17.460 --> 00:40:18.654
It's a tradecraft, buddy.
00:40:18.900 --> 00:40:20.174
Spoiler alert...
00:40:20.380 --> 00:40:21.495
I'm in the CIA.
00:40:21.660 --> 00:40:22.729
Oh, no shit!
00:40:22.900 --> 00:40:24.330
Hey, hey! What're you doing with my phone?
00:40:24.340 --> 00:40:26.340
You about to turn my phone
into a bomb, aren't you?
00:40:26.380 --> 00:40:28.416
I've seen Homeland.
So I know what they do.
00:40:28.700 --> 00:40:31.214
Homeland?
No, I'm ordering us an Uber.
00:40:31.380 --> 00:40:33.211
Six minutes. That's kinda tight.
00:40:34.100 --> 00:40:35.692
I'm gonna need your tie.
00:40:36.300 --> 00:40:37.415
You're gonna... No!
00:40:37.580 --> 00:40:38.900
- Your necktie, take it off.
- No,
00:40:38.980 --> 00:40:40.650
- I'm not taking my tie off!
- Come on, Jet!
00:40:40.660 --> 00:40:42.300
Don't do that. Don't do that.
00:40:42.340 --> 00:40:43.610
That's good. Save it, save it, save it.
00:40:43.620 --> 00:40:44.973
Save it, Jet.
00:40:45.140 --> 00:40:47.130
- There we go, just right over here.
- Fine, take it, take it.
00:40:47.140 --> 00:40:49.893
You can have it. Okay, that...
Listen to me. Listen.
00:40:50.060 --> 00:40:51.095
Stop. Stop!
00:40:51.260 --> 00:40:53.251
I need to know
what is happening, right now.
00:40:53.420 --> 00:40:55.411
Okay, okay. You know what?
Moving too fast.
00:40:55.620 --> 00:40:58.771
Bottom line, are you in or you out?
00:40:59.580 --> 00:41:00.930
What are you... In or out of what?
00:41:00.940 --> 00:41:03.408
Mmm-mmm. No time
for questions, just action.
00:41:03.580 --> 00:41:05.650
- In or out?
- Okay, then I'm out.
00:41:06.300 --> 00:41:08.291
I'm sorry, Jet.
Actually, you're already in.
00:41:08.460 --> 00:41:09.893
Then why would you ask me?
00:41:10.060 --> 00:41:11.860
Because I thought
you would go, "I'm in, Bob!"
00:41:12.020 --> 00:41:13.450
And we would've had a really cool moment,
00:41:13.460 --> 00:41:14.940
but you kinda ruined the whole thing.
00:41:15.020 --> 00:41:16.055
I ruined...
00:41:16.220 --> 00:41:17.289
Okay, okay, okay.
00:41:17.460 --> 00:41:18.859
Listen to me right now.
00:41:19.060 --> 00:41:20.770
Bob, I don't know what it is
that you're into
00:41:20.780 --> 00:41:22.213
but what I do know is that
00:41:22.380 --> 00:41:26.259
I am really, really 100% out!
00:41:26.420 --> 00:41:27.420
Do you understand that?
00:41:27.580 --> 00:41:29.855
- God, you are good!
- What?
00:41:30.020 --> 00:41:32.818
Calvin Joyner, president of the Drama Club
for a reason, folks!
00:41:32.980 --> 00:41:35.700
- You're like a snack-size Denzel.
- Okay. Stop it, stop it, stop it.
00:41:36.700 --> 00:41:38.099
This is not a game.
00:41:38.260 --> 00:41:39.773
I'm being serious right now.
00:41:40.460 --> 00:41:41.460
I'm out!
00:41:44.020 --> 00:41:45.214
Okay. Okay.
00:41:45.420 --> 00:41:47.490
I can't say I'm not disappointed, Jet,
00:41:48.340 --> 00:41:49.614
but if you're out, you're out.
00:41:49.780 --> 00:41:51.657
Thank you! I'm out!
00:41:51.820 --> 00:41:53.776
I'm just happy that we can communicate
00:41:53.940 --> 00:41:55.578
openly and honestly.
00:41:55.740 --> 00:41:58.698
I think it says a lot
about our relationship.
00:41:58.860 --> 00:42:01.215
Wait, hold up, wait.
What're you doing? Oh, my God!
00:42:01.380 --> 00:42:02.415
Here's the thing, though.
00:42:02.580 --> 00:42:04.180
There's only one way for you to get out.
00:42:04.260 --> 00:42:05.375
What's that?
00:42:05.540 --> 00:42:06.734
You gotta get in first.
00:42:06.940 --> 00:42:08.259
What is it that...
00:42:08.420 --> 00:42:09.694
What-what! Take my gun, Jet,
00:42:09.900 --> 00:42:11.413
we may have to kill some people.
00:42:11.580 --> 00:42:13.890
- Come on, it's not gonna bite you.
- I will do no such thing.
00:42:13.900 --> 00:42:14.900
I think you'll like it.
00:42:15.060 --> 00:42:16.500
- I will not!
- You're gonna need it.
00:42:17.340 --> 00:42:19.808
You're gonna need it! He's in here!
00:42:20.020 --> 00:42:21.020
Jet.
00:42:21.180 --> 00:42:23.740
He's in there! Bob's in there!
00:42:23.900 --> 00:42:26.175
He's got a gun! He's got a gun!
00:42:28.380 --> 00:42:30.060
- Down, down, get down!
- Move, move, move!
00:42:30.820 --> 00:42:32.050
All right. I'm gonna need
your improv skills.
00:42:32.060 --> 00:42:33.060
What?
00:42:33.260 --> 00:42:35.694
- Hostage role-play, you ready?
- No!
00:42:35.940 --> 00:42:37.498
- Sweet, let's go.
- No, I said no!
00:42:37.660 --> 00:42:38.809
I said no!
00:42:38.980 --> 00:42:40.413
He's got a hostage!
00:42:41.460 --> 00:42:42.460
No!
00:42:42.620 --> 00:42:44.451
No! Stop it, you gonna get me killed!
00:42:46.060 --> 00:42:47.209
Don't shoot!
00:42:59.860 --> 00:43:00.860
There we go, Jet!
00:43:01.660 --> 00:43:02.740
What are you doing?
00:43:02.820 --> 00:43:03.889
Oh! Shoot!
00:43:05.740 --> 00:43:06.740
Don't shoot!
00:43:18.660 --> 00:43:20.890
- Hang tight, Jet!
- No, I'm not doing anything!
00:43:21.100 --> 00:43:22.579
Stop including me in your stuff!
00:43:24.500 --> 00:43:26.138
Get him, Agent! Hit him with the stick!
00:43:31.140 --> 00:43:32.175
Oh!
00:43:32.500 --> 00:43:34.650
You're doing a great job, Jet.
Just give me a second, okay?
00:43:34.660 --> 00:43:35.695
What the fuck?
00:43:36.740 --> 00:43:37.740
He got a coffee pot!
00:43:55.460 --> 00:43:56.460
He got a banana!
00:44:01.420 --> 00:44:02.933
Oh! Oh!
00:44:03.940 --> 00:44:05.134
Freeze!
00:44:16.460 --> 00:44:18.178
Jet, help!
00:44:18.380 --> 00:44:19.380
What?
00:44:20.380 --> 00:44:22.575
Golden Jet, help.
00:44:22.740 --> 00:44:23.900
No, man, I'm not helping you!
00:44:26.900 --> 00:44:27.900
Oh, shit.
00:44:28.460 --> 00:44:29.734
- Give me the gun!
- Stop it!
00:44:29.900 --> 00:44:31.220
- Stop resisting!
- No, let me go!
00:44:34.980 --> 00:44:36.971
Let me go! I'm trying to give it to you!
00:44:40.020 --> 00:44:41.294
Oh, shit!
00:44:41.460 --> 00:44:42.810
- That was an accident!
- Don't move!
00:44:42.820 --> 00:44:44.094
No, stop! Listen to me!
00:44:46.740 --> 00:44:47.809
Let's go.
00:44:48.580 --> 00:44:50.180
Wait, wait! Come on! What are you... Ah!
00:44:50.700 --> 00:44:51.928
Come on, man!
00:44:52.100 --> 00:44:54.056
This has gotta stop! Okay?
00:44:55.980 --> 00:44:57.015
Shit!
00:45:01.500 --> 00:45:02.774
Don't shoot!
00:45:03.860 --> 00:45:05.691
- Oh, God!
- Show us your hands!
00:45:05.860 --> 00:45:07.293
- Drop your weapon!
- Do it now!
00:45:15.980 --> 00:45:16.980
Ow.
00:45:17.780 --> 00:45:18.780
Sorry, Jet.
00:45:18.940 --> 00:45:21.010
It's over, Bob. Give up.
00:45:21.220 --> 00:45:22.778
You know I can't do that, Pam.
00:45:22.940 --> 00:45:24.771
There's nowhere to run, Agent Stone.
00:45:25.420 --> 00:45:26.614
Just like Caracas.
00:45:27.260 --> 00:45:31.139
Uh, Caracas would've worked
if you trusted me like Calvin trusts me.
00:45:31.300 --> 00:45:32.449
No. No.
00:45:32.620 --> 00:45:34.372
That is not true. I do not trust him!
00:45:34.540 --> 00:45:36.610
I do not trust him at all.
As a matter of fact,
00:45:36.820 --> 00:45:38.330
this is a perfect time
for us to clear this up
00:45:38.340 --> 00:45:40.490
especially in the middle of this standoff.
I shouldn't be here!
00:45:40.500 --> 00:45:43.060
So I feel like me being
in the middle of this throws me in it.
00:45:43.220 --> 00:45:44.539
So let me exclude myself.
00:45:44.740 --> 00:45:46.412
- Hey, stay down!
- Don't move!
00:45:46.620 --> 00:45:49.259
Okay, all right.
I'll stay in. I'll stay in.
00:45:50.540 --> 00:45:51.540
I got a plan.
00:45:52.260 --> 00:45:53.454
Might get us both killed
00:45:53.620 --> 00:45:55.450
but if it works,
it'll be a totally boss story.
00:45:55.460 --> 00:45:56.460
Cool?
00:45:56.620 --> 00:45:58.576
- No! No, it's not cool!
- Cool.
00:45:58.740 --> 00:45:59.889
No, I said it's not cool.
00:46:00.060 --> 00:46:01.573
I said it's not cool!
00:46:01.740 --> 00:46:02.889
Time's up.
00:46:03.580 --> 00:46:04.729
You're right, Pam.
00:46:05.460 --> 00:46:06.529
My time is up.
00:46:06.700 --> 00:46:08.736
In three, two,
00:46:09.580 --> 00:46:10.580
one.
00:46:18.260 --> 00:46:20.296
Bob, Bob, Bob!
00:46:20.860 --> 00:46:23.294
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:46:23.940 --> 00:46:25.134
Oh, shit!
00:46:25.900 --> 00:46:26.900
Whoo-hoo!
00:46:43.820 --> 00:46:45.617
Wow! Did you feel that, Jet?
00:46:45.780 --> 00:46:48.010
That was the balls right there!
00:46:50.060 --> 00:46:51.660
Hey, did you shit yourself a little bit?
00:46:53.420 --> 00:46:55.615
It's all right if you did. Totally cool.
I don't judge.
00:47:01.100 --> 00:47:02.100
Get it off!
00:47:02.500 --> 00:47:03.569
You guys order an Uber?
00:47:06.300 --> 00:47:07.449
What are you doing?
00:47:08.220 --> 00:47:09.730
You better get your tuches in the car.
00:47:09.740 --> 00:47:10.740
You're gonna get shot!
00:47:10.900 --> 00:47:12.049
Don't shoot me! Shoot him!
00:47:12.220 --> 00:47:14.734
Shoot him! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out!
00:47:14.900 --> 00:47:17.130
Let me in! Let me in! Let me in! Go, Bob!
00:47:21.620 --> 00:47:22.973
Hey, that's my car!
00:47:23.660 --> 00:47:24.660
Fuck you!
00:47:25.140 --> 00:47:26.858
You get zero stars!
00:47:27.900 --> 00:47:30.095
Put the word out to all assets.
00:47:30.260 --> 00:47:31.818
I'm doubling the price on Bob's head.
00:47:32.260 --> 00:47:33.818
Hey, what the shit,
honey...
00:47:35.420 --> 00:47:36.773
Get Larry on it.
00:47:42.100 --> 00:47:43.135
Car, car, car!
00:47:43.780 --> 00:47:45.498
All right, here's the dilly-o, Jet.
00:47:45.660 --> 00:47:47.380
About three weeks ago,
an enemy of the state
00:47:47.460 --> 00:47:48.688
codenamed "The Black Badger"
00:47:48.860 --> 00:47:51.818
stole the encryption keys
to the entire US spy satellite program
00:47:51.980 --> 00:47:53.250
which he's gonna sell to a buyer
00:47:53.260 --> 00:47:55.170
from that auction site
on your computer last night.
00:47:55.180 --> 00:47:56.215
Bob...
00:47:56.380 --> 00:47:57.610
If we lose control of our satellites,
00:47:57.620 --> 00:48:00.418
we're completely vulnerable
to any terrorist attacks.
00:48:00.580 --> 00:48:02.650
That's why I had to go back
to your office and get you, Jet.
00:48:02.660 --> 00:48:04.412
I need your super sweet accounting skills
00:48:04.580 --> 00:48:06.580
to help me figure out
the last piece of this puzzle
00:48:06.660 --> 00:48:08.890
which is the transaction number
from the winning bid.
00:48:09.060 --> 00:48:10.937
That'll tell us
where the deal is going down.
00:48:12.820 --> 00:48:14.936
That way, we can get The Black Badger.
00:48:15.300 --> 00:48:16.540
I can't do it without you, Jet.
00:48:16.820 --> 00:48:19.015
Are you kidding me? I'm not helping you.
00:48:19.180 --> 00:48:20.932
You attacked somebody with a banana.
00:48:21.100 --> 00:48:23.819
- A banana, force multiplier.
- What?
00:48:23.980 --> 00:48:26.180
Well, basically what that means
is anything in your hand
00:48:26.220 --> 00:48:28.893
is far more dangerous
than just your bare hands alone,
00:48:29.060 --> 00:48:30.060
including a banana.
00:48:30.700 --> 00:48:31.700
Oh!
00:48:32.860 --> 00:48:34.896
Oh! Ah!
00:48:35.180 --> 00:48:36.738
- A force multiplier!
- Yeah.
00:48:36.900 --> 00:48:38.379
Yeah, that's what it is.
00:48:38.580 --> 00:48:40.571
It makes so much more sense to me now.
00:48:40.740 --> 00:48:42.935
That's page-one CIA stuff.
00:48:43.100 --> 00:48:46.490
I almost forgot
that I wasn't in the fucking CIA!
00:48:47.460 --> 00:48:48.575
Stop the car.
00:48:48.740 --> 00:48:50.617
You stop the car right now! Stop the car!
00:48:50.780 --> 00:48:52.657
Okay, okay. That's a great idea, Jet.
00:48:52.820 --> 00:48:54.458
We should get off the grid right now.
00:48:55.780 --> 00:48:57.577
Whoa!
00:49:02.420 --> 00:49:04.570
All right. We're clear.
00:49:10.420 --> 00:49:11.569
Okay.
00:49:12.100 --> 00:49:14.250
Okay. Let's just take some deep breaths.
00:49:14.420 --> 00:49:15.933
Okay? Deep breaths.
00:49:16.860 --> 00:49:19.454
All you gotta do is get out of this car
00:49:19.620 --> 00:49:21.611
and have a rational conversation with Bob
00:49:21.780 --> 00:49:23.179
and he'll understand.
00:49:31.940 --> 00:49:34.773
Robert, I would like to
go home now, please.
00:49:34.940 --> 00:49:36.612
Buddy, you and me both.
00:49:36.780 --> 00:49:39.010
But until we clear our names,
there's no going home.
00:49:39.180 --> 00:49:41.375
I'm sorry, can you clarify
that last sentence for me?
00:49:41.540 --> 00:49:42.860
Yeah, well, now that you're in...
00:49:43.020 --> 00:49:45.136
Let me stop you right there. I'm not in.
00:49:45.300 --> 00:49:46.972
I never said that I was in.
00:49:47.140 --> 00:49:49.893
In fact, I expressly remember
saying that I was out!
00:49:50.060 --> 00:49:51.380
I know, but they think you're in.
00:49:51.700 --> 00:49:52.700
I am...
00:49:53.220 --> 00:49:55.131
I'm fucking out! I'm out!
00:49:55.300 --> 00:49:56.450
- What's left to tell?
- Hey, no, I get it.
00:49:56.460 --> 00:49:58.290
- I'm not in!
- I'm just saying they think you're in.
00:49:58.300 --> 00:50:01.258
- I'm not in! I am not in!
- I get it.
00:50:01.500 --> 00:50:03.491
I'm not in! I'm out!
00:50:03.660 --> 00:50:06.128
One sec, Jet, just gotta disable the GPS.
00:50:06.580 --> 00:50:07.580
Where did you...
00:50:08.020 --> 00:50:09.380
You wanna go under... That's fine!
00:50:09.820 --> 00:50:10.820
Wait a minute.
00:50:10.860 --> 00:50:12.300
You did this on purpose, didn't you?
00:50:13.260 --> 00:50:15.535
This whole thing was done on purpose.
00:50:15.700 --> 00:50:17.258
This is your plan!
00:50:17.420 --> 00:50:19.138
You tricked me!
00:50:19.300 --> 00:50:21.575
It's fine, but I know you tricked me.
00:50:21.740 --> 00:50:23.260
- Trick you?
- You tricked... Hey, boy!
00:50:23.340 --> 00:50:25.456
What? What'd you just...
00:50:25.620 --> 00:50:27.210
I didn't trick you,
you offered to help me.
00:50:27.220 --> 00:50:28.740
You know what's funny? Harris told me.
00:50:28.940 --> 00:50:30.339
She told me everything, man.
00:50:30.500 --> 00:50:32.058
She told me that you stole the codes.
00:50:32.220 --> 00:50:34.170
Let me tell you something about Harris.
You can't trust her.
00:50:34.180 --> 00:50:36.420
She's already trying to frame me
for my partner's murder!
00:50:36.820 --> 00:50:38.492
- You killed your partner?
- No.
00:50:38.700 --> 00:50:39.700
I would never do that.
00:50:39.860 --> 00:50:41.373
The Black Badger killed my partner.
00:50:41.580 --> 00:50:43.980
Let me explain to you something, dude.
This is what happened.
00:50:44.780 --> 00:50:47.140
After The Black Badger
stole the satellite encryption codes,
00:50:47.180 --> 00:50:50.775
my partner Phil and I
tracked him to a penthouse in Kiev.
00:50:50.940 --> 00:50:52.055
- Hey, Phil.
- Yeah.
00:50:52.700 --> 00:50:53.940
I'll see you on the other side.
00:50:55.220 --> 00:50:56.699
See you on the other side.
00:50:58.020 --> 00:50:59.533
All right.
00:50:59.700 --> 00:51:01.213
God, I love that guy.
00:51:01.380 --> 00:51:02.890
He knew we were coming,
so he set a trap.
00:51:02.900 --> 00:51:04.936
Hey, Bob! Bob!
00:51:05.100 --> 00:51:06.169
No!
00:51:06.340 --> 00:51:08.854
Phil was my partner,
my teammate
00:51:09.620 --> 00:51:11.372
- and I couldn't save him.
- No!
00:51:14.220 --> 00:51:15.778
It was awful, Cal.
00:51:15.940 --> 00:51:17.460
It was a setup, right from the get-go.
00:51:18.980 --> 00:51:20.015
Damn, man.
00:51:20.580 --> 00:51:21.890
The Black Badger was never there.
00:51:21.900 --> 00:51:24.175
I should've been the one
on that elevator, not Phil.
00:51:24.660 --> 00:51:25.695
God.
00:51:25.900 --> 00:51:28.255
Okay. Bob, please...
00:51:28.460 --> 00:51:30.690
I'm begging you, man.
Can you just let me go home?
00:51:30.860 --> 00:51:32.373
CJ, I totally understand.
00:51:32.540 --> 00:51:34.337
But right now,
Agent Harris and her taskforce
00:51:34.500 --> 00:51:36.218
has that place surveilled up the yin-yang.
00:51:36.380 --> 00:51:38.060
She's got contract killers looking for us.
00:51:38.140 --> 00:51:39.368
Your place isn't safe.
00:51:39.540 --> 00:51:41.212
Oh, my God. Maggie.
00:51:41.380 --> 00:51:43.575
Maggie! What the hell
am I supposed to do about Maggie?
00:51:46.060 --> 00:51:47.780
Get down, Jet!
00:51:56.500 --> 00:51:57.933
Shit! Oh!
00:51:58.900 --> 00:51:59.900
Look out, Bob!
00:52:11.900 --> 00:52:14.460
Who the hell is that? Who is that? Bob?
00:52:14.620 --> 00:52:15.848
Oh, shit.
00:52:21.140 --> 00:52:22.140
Larry.
00:52:25.220 --> 00:52:26.494
Thought you retired.
00:52:26.660 --> 00:52:27.660
I did.
00:52:28.220 --> 00:52:30.336
But you're worth a lot of money,
Bob, dead or alive.
00:52:30.580 --> 00:52:33.048
Well, tough luck,
because I've got back up.
00:52:33.220 --> 00:52:34.289
Ain't that right, Jet?
00:52:37.180 --> 00:52:38.180
Jet!
00:53:00.580 --> 00:53:02.889
Hey, baby. I know. I'm sorry I'm late.
00:53:03.100 --> 00:53:05.170
The stupid Koplin deposition ran long.
00:53:05.340 --> 00:53:07.331
I'm leaving right now.
I'll meet you at the house.
00:53:07.500 --> 00:53:08.694
No, no, no! Don't go home!
00:53:08.860 --> 00:53:10.498
- Don't go home!
- Why? What's going on?
00:53:10.660 --> 00:53:13.413
Nothing! Nothing.
I'm just running late, too.
00:53:13.580 --> 00:53:16.014
So I was gonna say
let's just meet at Dr. Dan's office.
00:53:17.260 --> 00:53:19.216
Yeah. Okay. Is everything all right?
00:53:19.380 --> 00:53:21.689
Yeah! Yeah. Why?
00:53:21.860 --> 00:53:23.088
Everything's fine.
00:53:23.260 --> 00:53:25.690
Because you kind of sound
like Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas.
00:53:25.700 --> 00:53:26.974
What?
00:53:28.140 --> 00:53:30.256
That's so funny, babe.
That's such a good reference.
00:53:30.460 --> 00:53:32.212
That's classic Mags right there.
00:53:32.420 --> 00:53:35.173
So, okay. So you're not
gonna go home, right?
00:53:35.380 --> 00:53:36.608
Okay, fine. I won't go home.
00:53:36.780 --> 00:53:38.330
I'll meet you at Dr. Dan's. See you soon.
00:53:38.340 --> 00:53:39.455
Okay. All right, bye.
00:53:39.620 --> 00:53:40.655
All right, bye.
00:54:03.780 --> 00:54:04.780
Get in.
00:54:22.140 --> 00:54:25.849
I'm gonna
address the elephant in the room.
00:54:26.020 --> 00:54:29.330
Okay, first of all, you...
00:54:29.500 --> 00:54:32.333
You guys, I want to say sorry to.
00:54:32.500 --> 00:54:36.049
Because what you're probably thinking
is not what happened.
00:54:36.220 --> 00:54:37.255
Accidents!
00:54:37.620 --> 00:54:38.655
I know you're like,
00:54:38.860 --> 00:54:40.330
"How can you accidentally
pistol-whip somebody
00:54:40.340 --> 00:54:41.340
"and shoot somebody?"
00:54:41.500 --> 00:54:42.500
It can happen.
00:54:42.660 --> 00:54:46.335
Okay? Today is proof
that it can happen. So...
00:54:46.500 --> 00:54:48.331
I'm glad I got to get that off my chest.
00:54:48.860 --> 00:54:50.578
Relax, Mr. Joyner. I believe you.
00:54:50.740 --> 00:54:52.617
Okay, thank you.
00:54:52.780 --> 00:54:55.340
Trust me, I know a
scared-shitless civilian when I see one.
00:54:55.540 --> 00:54:56.768
You don't have to convince me.
00:54:56.940 --> 00:54:59.693
You got him over here. That is me.
00:54:59.860 --> 00:55:01.691
Right now, I'm not comfortable.
00:55:01.860 --> 00:55:03.578
Okay, I am scared, okay?
00:55:03.740 --> 00:55:06.095
I don't have no shit in my system.
00:55:06.300 --> 00:55:08.256
If I sat down on a toilet,
nothing's coming out.
00:55:08.420 --> 00:55:09.569
Farts or just air.
00:55:16.220 --> 00:55:17.448
It'd sound like lasers.
00:55:17.620 --> 00:55:19.053
Thank you for that description.
00:55:19.620 --> 00:55:21.372
Mr. Joyner, let me explain something.
00:55:21.540 --> 00:55:22.814
Bob's last forced psych eval
00:55:22.980 --> 00:55:25.892
show a person rapidly losing
his grip on reality.
00:55:26.060 --> 00:55:27.573
Bob became obsessed with a ghost,
00:55:28.060 --> 00:55:29.254
a figment of his imagination,
00:55:29.420 --> 00:55:31.058
he started calling "The Black Badger."
00:55:31.220 --> 00:55:33.211
This obsession led to an instability,
00:55:33.380 --> 00:55:36.053
first reported by his partner, Phil,
three weeks ago.
00:55:36.220 --> 00:55:38.734
Just before Phil was killed in the field.
00:55:38.900 --> 00:55:40.094
Do you know how Phil died?
00:55:40.260 --> 00:55:43.058
Yeah, Bob told me that
The Black Badger killed him.
00:55:47.300 --> 00:55:48.335
What?
00:55:49.260 --> 00:55:50.260
What?
00:55:50.420 --> 00:55:54.174
Mr. Joyner, Bob Stone is The Black Badger.
00:55:54.780 --> 00:55:57.294
Phil was Bob's partner of six years.
00:55:57.460 --> 00:55:58.460
His best friend.
00:55:58.660 --> 00:56:00.935
- See you on the other side.
- See you on the other side.
00:56:01.940 --> 00:56:03.419
Hey, Bob!
00:56:03.580 --> 00:56:05.900
After he stole
the satellite encryption codes
00:56:06.020 --> 00:56:07.169
Bob betrayed Phil.
00:56:07.340 --> 00:56:08.340
No!
00:56:09.100 --> 00:56:11.773
He killed him to cover his tracks.
00:56:15.780 --> 00:56:18.852
And, after that, Bob went rogue.
00:56:19.100 --> 00:56:20.818
This is all that's left of Phil.
00:56:24.420 --> 00:56:27.093
Um, this is PornHub.
00:56:27.860 --> 00:56:30.772
Oh, shit, shit, shit. Sorry.
00:56:31.620 --> 00:56:32.620
There you go.
00:56:33.260 --> 00:56:36.536
Oh! Oh, God! Oh, I didn't see that coming.
00:56:37.300 --> 00:56:38.415
Oh, man!
00:56:39.900 --> 00:56:42.050
- It's a hell of a way to go.
- Okay, wait a minute.
00:56:42.220 --> 00:56:44.690
Why wouldn't Bob just go sell
the satellite encryption codes himself?
00:56:44.700 --> 00:56:46.650
Because in a black market
blind-bidding situation,
00:56:46.660 --> 00:56:48.450
the buyer and the seller,
they don't know each other.
00:56:48.460 --> 00:56:50.980
They need the auction site
to tell them exactly where to meet up
00:56:51.020 --> 00:56:52.220
and when to make the exchange.
00:56:52.740 --> 00:56:55.812
The transaction number
from the auction site gives them that,
00:56:55.980 --> 00:56:57.971
which means Bob still needs you.
00:56:58.980 --> 00:57:00.130
Which is why we find ourselves
00:57:00.140 --> 00:57:02.449
in a little catch-and-release scenario.
00:57:02.660 --> 00:57:04.696
You are the only one Bob trusts.
00:57:05.500 --> 00:57:07.050
That's why we're putting you in the field.
00:57:07.060 --> 00:57:08.937
The next time you're with Bob,
00:57:09.980 --> 00:57:11.652
press this button.
00:57:11.820 --> 00:57:13.173
We're going to have him cold.
00:57:19.460 --> 00:57:21.257
Now, go take care of your marriage.
00:57:21.420 --> 00:57:24.332
One more thing. Don't tell your wife shit.
00:57:25.500 --> 00:57:26.819
All right.
00:57:28.740 --> 00:57:30.036
I just don't know
what's wrong.
00:57:30.060 --> 00:57:31.573
I mean, the man that I married,
00:57:31.780 --> 00:57:33.816
the person I knew in high school,
00:57:33.980 --> 00:57:38.098
he was filled
with drive and desire. I mean...
00:57:38.260 --> 00:57:39.730
We used to sneak off every lunch hour
00:57:39.740 --> 00:57:41.220
and make out under the gym bleachers.
00:57:41.340 --> 00:57:43.296
Like, that guy, back then,
00:57:43.500 --> 00:57:45.650
- he wanted things, you know?
- Hmm.
00:57:45.820 --> 00:57:48.095
Hey, I'm sorry I'm late.
I couldn't find parking.
00:57:48.300 --> 00:57:50.250
Hi, no, no, it's okay.
We got started without you.
00:57:50.260 --> 00:57:52.091
Babe, Calvin, this is Dr. Dan.
00:57:52.540 --> 00:57:53.609
Hello, Calvin.
00:57:53.780 --> 00:57:55.896
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, jeez. What's the matter?
00:57:56.100 --> 00:57:58.330
- Holy shit! Get behind me!
- Honey... Calvin, what?
00:57:58.500 --> 00:58:00.775
It's okay, Maggie. It's okay. Just relax.
00:58:00.980 --> 00:58:03.261
This is a very common reaction
in the therapeutic process.
00:58:03.420 --> 00:58:04.420
- It is?
- What?
00:58:04.580 --> 00:58:05.580
It is. It absolutely is.
00:58:05.740 --> 00:58:08.857
Calvin, this is a very safe place.
Please, sit down.
00:58:09.020 --> 00:58:10.970
- This is not a safe place!
- No, no, no. Honey, it's a...
00:58:10.980 --> 00:58:12.610
No, this is most definitely
not a safe place!
00:58:12.620 --> 00:58:14.417
Me and my wife are leaving. Let's go.
00:58:14.580 --> 00:58:16.571
No, no, no! You are going to sit down,
00:58:16.740 --> 00:58:19.698
and we are going to go through
this therapeutic process...
00:58:19.860 --> 00:58:21.737
- Yes.
- ...together, as a couple.
00:58:22.300 --> 00:58:24.131
Um... Fine, fine, fine.
00:58:24.300 --> 00:58:25.779
Sit down. Thank you.
00:58:25.940 --> 00:58:26.975
Fine.
00:58:27.140 --> 00:58:30.894
Okay, guys. Why don't we start off
with a little bit of word association?
00:58:31.060 --> 00:58:32.095
Okay.
00:58:32.300 --> 00:58:33.300
This is exciting.
00:58:33.460 --> 00:58:35.416
I've heard this can
really open a couple up.
00:58:36.180 --> 00:58:39.536
Uh, Maggie, I'm going
to offer you a word,
00:58:39.700 --> 00:58:43.579
and you respond
however you're moved to from here.
00:58:43.740 --> 00:58:44.775
Okay.
00:58:44.980 --> 00:58:46.208
- Black.
- White.
00:58:46.380 --> 00:58:47.859
- Water.
- Ocean.
00:58:48.020 --> 00:58:50.250
- Sunshine.
- Happy.
00:58:50.900 --> 00:58:53.368
- I'm very impressed, Maggie.
- Really?
00:58:53.540 --> 00:58:54.814
You're very in tune.
00:58:55.380 --> 00:58:56.779
I'm very in tune.
00:58:56.940 --> 00:58:59.010
Calvin, you're next.
00:58:59.180 --> 00:59:00.852
I do not want to do this.
00:59:01.180 --> 00:59:03.694
Relax, Calvin. There are no wrong answers.
00:59:03.860 --> 00:59:04.860
Up.
00:59:06.540 --> 00:59:07.575
Down.
00:59:08.180 --> 00:59:09.180
Mmm.
00:59:10.100 --> 00:59:11.294
"Mmm." What is that?
00:59:11.660 --> 00:59:12.690
What're you writing in your book?
00:59:12.700 --> 00:59:14.210
- It's fine. Don't freak out.
- Nobody's freaking out.
00:59:14.220 --> 00:59:16.010
I just don't understand
the rules to the game.
00:59:16.020 --> 00:59:17.214
Freaking out.
00:59:18.180 --> 00:59:20.091
Let's switch gears for a second, okay?
00:59:21.540 --> 00:59:23.212
Maggie, during lovemaking,
00:59:24.820 --> 00:59:27.892
have you ever placed anything
inside of Calvin's anus?
00:59:28.060 --> 00:59:29.379
What the hell did you just say?
00:59:29.540 --> 00:59:31.417
Well, yeah, there was this one time.
00:59:31.580 --> 00:59:33.930
- You remember? Game of Thrones finale.
- What are you talking about?
00:59:33.940 --> 00:59:35.976
I was Khaleesi, you were Littlefinger...
00:59:36.140 --> 00:59:38.779
- Okay, all right, stop. That's enough.
- Please, please, please.
00:59:39.140 --> 00:59:42.416
Why don't we try a simple
role-playing exercise?
00:59:42.620 --> 00:59:44.417
Calvin, you be Calvin
00:59:44.620 --> 00:59:47.009
and I will become Maggie.
00:59:47.340 --> 00:59:48.693
Mmm.
00:59:49.420 --> 00:59:50.739
I'm confused.
00:59:55.420 --> 00:59:57.092
It's called "soul gazing."
00:59:57.300 --> 01:00:00.895
Stare into my soul
and I'll stare into yours.
01:00:01.620 --> 01:00:03.497
- Maggie, this...
- Hey. Shh.
01:00:03.660 --> 01:00:05.730
There's no talking, and don't look away.
01:00:05.900 --> 01:00:07.253
Stare into my soul.
01:00:07.780 --> 01:00:08.895
You are not my...
01:00:09.060 --> 01:00:10.095
Shh. There's no talking.
01:00:10.580 --> 01:00:12.138
Babe, I'm not staring...
01:00:12.580 --> 01:00:15.572
Me and you.
Stay with me. I'm your wife.
01:00:15.780 --> 01:00:17.420
You are not my wife.
01:00:19.940 --> 01:00:21.293
How could you hit your wife?
01:00:21.900 --> 01:00:23.128
How can I... How can I what?
01:00:23.300 --> 01:00:24.892
- You hit your wife!
- No...
01:00:25.060 --> 01:00:26.060
- He hit me!
- Okay.
01:00:26.220 --> 01:00:27.220
- He hit you!
- Okay.
01:00:27.380 --> 01:00:28.654
You hit us!
01:00:33.300 --> 01:00:35.130
- I'm swaddling you.
- I know what you're doing.
01:00:35.140 --> 01:00:36.690
- I'm swaddling you.
- I know what you're...
01:00:36.700 --> 01:00:37.700
Come here.
01:00:38.260 --> 01:00:39.409
Oh, my God!
01:00:39.860 --> 01:00:40.860
You...
01:00:41.980 --> 01:00:44.414
You know what? We're leaving! Let's go!
01:00:44.900 --> 01:00:46.538
This is not real.
01:00:46.700 --> 01:00:48.258
It's real to me.
01:00:48.420 --> 01:00:49.614
You know what, Calvin?
01:00:49.780 --> 01:00:51.930
If you can't commit
to working on our marriage,
01:00:52.100 --> 01:00:53.692
then you need to let me know.
01:00:53.900 --> 01:00:55.219
Maggie, you...
01:00:57.500 --> 01:00:59.138
- What!
- Oh, my God!
01:00:59.300 --> 01:01:00.580
You're... Something's not right.
01:01:00.660 --> 01:01:03.618
Come on, Jet, listen.
Come on, come on, Jet!
01:01:03.780 --> 01:01:05.890
Now, I know things got
a little rough there at the end.
01:01:05.900 --> 01:01:08.290
But the truth is, with all the heat
that you have coming down on you,
01:01:08.300 --> 01:01:10.211
Maggie is definitely safer without you.
01:01:11.300 --> 01:01:13.575
And, trust me,
when this whole thing is said and done
01:01:13.740 --> 01:01:15.450
and you basically
save the entire free world,
01:01:15.460 --> 01:01:17.849
she's going to forgive you.
It'll all work itself out.
01:01:18.020 --> 01:01:19.453
It'll all work itself out?
01:01:20.260 --> 01:01:22.330
Okay, Bob, you know,
I'm sick of playing games with you.
01:01:22.340 --> 01:01:23.739
Where's the real Dr. Dan?
01:01:24.500 --> 01:01:25.569
What-what?
01:01:25.740 --> 01:01:28.652
Oh, my... Dr. Dan,
I had nothing to do with this.
01:01:28.820 --> 01:01:30.290
He's fine. I'll get you some water
in a little bit.
01:01:30.300 --> 01:01:32.530
- Thanks, doc.
- You know...
01:01:32.780 --> 01:01:34.691
That's it. That is it.
01:01:34.900 --> 01:01:36.538
That is it.
01:01:37.940 --> 01:01:38.975
All right, Jet.
01:01:39.140 --> 01:01:41.131
I see that Harris has given you
a button to push.
01:01:42.100 --> 01:01:44.740
Relax, I would've taken the same deal,
too, if I was in your shoes.
01:01:44.860 --> 01:01:47.169
Otherwise, she wouldn't
let you out of her sight, right?
01:01:47.340 --> 01:01:48.773
It makes perfect sense.
01:01:49.980 --> 01:01:51.860
But you're not going to
press the button, right?
01:01:53.020 --> 01:01:55.056
You got the top-secret satellite codes?
01:01:55.620 --> 01:01:56.848
Yes or no?
01:01:57.020 --> 01:01:58.817
This ain't the time to bullshit me.
01:01:58.980 --> 01:02:00.698
Okay, my ass is sweating.
01:02:00.860 --> 01:02:02.100
I'm nervous. Don't bullshit me!
01:02:02.300 --> 01:02:04.370
Of course not, dude. Hey, hey, come on!
01:02:04.540 --> 01:02:05.860
Of course I don't have the codes.
01:02:06.020 --> 01:02:07.650
Why would I go through
all this trouble, then?
01:02:07.660 --> 01:02:09.890
I need your skill set, Jet, to help me get
01:02:10.100 --> 01:02:12.170
the bank transaction numbers
to the winning bid.
01:02:12.340 --> 01:02:14.012
We already know it's going down tonight
01:02:14.180 --> 01:02:15.620
from the countdown on your computer.
01:02:15.700 --> 01:02:17.179
Now, all we need is the "where."
01:02:17.620 --> 01:02:19.901
And the bank transaction numbers
will give us the "where."
01:02:19.980 --> 01:02:21.174
That's why I need you.
01:02:21.340 --> 01:02:22.693
Your job gives you access to
01:02:22.860 --> 01:02:24.578
exactly that kind of information.
01:02:24.780 --> 01:02:26.850
Then we can get The Badger,
we can get the buyer
01:02:27.020 --> 01:02:28.089
in one fell swoop.
01:02:28.260 --> 01:02:29.978
And it'll all be over tonight.
01:02:30.180 --> 01:02:31.374
Please, I swear.
01:02:31.580 --> 01:02:33.013
You gotta believe me.
01:02:42.900 --> 01:02:44.970
Can't you just get us
the transaction number?
01:02:45.380 --> 01:02:47.655
Not when the money
originates from an offshore account.
01:02:47.820 --> 01:02:48.820
When that happens,
01:02:48.980 --> 01:02:51.330
then only a certified international
banking official can access it.
01:02:51.340 --> 01:02:53.420
But, it shouldn't be a problem.
We just give this guy
01:02:53.580 --> 01:02:55.380
the offshore account numbers
that you gave me,
01:02:55.500 --> 01:02:57.130
then he can give us the transaction number
01:02:57.140 --> 01:02:59.450
without knowing that
he's committing treason when he does it.
01:02:59.460 --> 01:03:00.654
Sound familiar?
01:03:00.860 --> 01:03:02.896
Ouch! Low blow, CJ.
01:03:03.060 --> 01:03:04.971
Hey, besides,
it's only treason if we're wrong.
01:03:05.140 --> 01:03:06.459
Who's this mystery man?
01:03:07.860 --> 01:03:08.860
It's Trevor.
01:03:13.580 --> 01:03:14.695
Trevor.
01:03:17.500 --> 01:03:19.220
This week
just keeps getting better.
01:03:19.340 --> 01:03:20.534
You know, I mean,
01:03:20.860 --> 01:03:24.216
Robbie Wheirdicht and Calvin
"The Golden Jet" Joyner in my office.
01:03:24.380 --> 01:03:26.336
Who would've thunk it? Not me.
01:03:26.500 --> 01:03:28.331
This is great, huh?
01:03:28.500 --> 01:03:30.491
Talk about caterpillar to the butterfly...
01:03:30.660 --> 01:03:32.571
What is this? P90X?
01:03:32.740 --> 01:03:35.618
More like "P1,000,000X," huh?
01:03:35.780 --> 01:03:37.338
Congratulations.
01:03:37.780 --> 01:03:39.259
Hey, I, um...
01:03:39.420 --> 01:03:40.900
I really appreciate the help, Trevor.
01:03:41.020 --> 01:03:43.340
My client's all on me
to get this stuff handled right away.
01:03:43.420 --> 01:03:44.569
So, you know, if we could...
01:03:44.780 --> 01:03:46.691
Say no more.
It's my pleasure. I've been there.
01:03:46.860 --> 01:03:48.490
These international accounts
can be very, very tricky
01:03:48.500 --> 01:03:49.730
if you don't have the right clearances.
01:03:49.740 --> 01:03:51.492
You can get a bunch of digital red tape.
01:03:51.900 --> 01:03:53.856
I'm happy to help, you know?
01:03:54.020 --> 01:03:55.055
Robbie.
01:03:55.220 --> 01:03:57.017
You're such a blast from the past, buddy.
01:03:57.180 --> 01:03:58.330
How long has it been since I saw you?
01:03:58.340 --> 01:03:59.375
Was it high school?
01:04:02.380 --> 01:04:03.380
What's that?
01:04:03.540 --> 01:04:05.980
Um... How we doing
with those account access codes?
01:04:06.140 --> 01:04:07.330
- Are they coming?
- It's coming.
01:04:07.340 --> 01:04:08.700
- Everything's good?
- It's coming.
01:04:08.740 --> 01:04:11.330
I'm going as fast as I can. I know
you guys are in a rush. I'm so sorry.
01:04:11.340 --> 01:04:13.376
Anything for a couple of fellow Centaurs.
01:04:13.540 --> 01:04:16.293
Speaking of which, you guys are going
to the reunion tonight, right?
01:04:18.340 --> 01:04:20.058
No, I don't think so.
01:04:20.220 --> 01:04:21.516
You're both going.
01:04:21.540 --> 01:04:23.258
Here it is.
Here's your transaction number.
01:04:23.420 --> 01:04:25.170
You're both going
because you want to know what?
01:04:25.180 --> 01:04:26.460
Stinky Pete's going to be there.
01:04:26.580 --> 01:04:29.492
And Jimmy Longballs called me.
He's going to be hanging.
01:04:30.260 --> 01:04:33.172
Carlos Nagasaki, the Mexican eggroll.
He's going to be there.
01:04:33.700 --> 01:04:35.691
You guys will be missing out on a big one.
01:04:35.860 --> 01:04:37.170
Plus you know what they're going to do?
01:04:37.180 --> 01:04:39.330
They're going to vote on
homecoming king and queen again.
01:04:39.340 --> 01:04:41.100
Maybe you and Maggie
can make it two for two.
01:04:41.260 --> 01:04:43.410
Now, before you go,
stay seated one second.
01:04:43.580 --> 01:04:45.252
Give me two minutes, sit down.
01:04:45.940 --> 01:04:47.532
Men,
01:04:48.060 --> 01:04:49.379
a few years ago...
01:04:50.580 --> 01:04:52.536
I found the Lord Almighty.
01:04:52.700 --> 01:04:53.700
And, ever since then,
01:04:53.860 --> 01:04:56.693
my life has been
completely different. Okay?
01:04:56.860 --> 01:04:59.215
He's got a plan for
each and every one of us
01:04:59.380 --> 01:05:01.257
and, in his infinite wisdom,
01:05:01.420 --> 01:05:03.650
he makes no mistakes. Hmm?
01:05:04.220 --> 01:05:05.539
You're right about that.
01:05:05.700 --> 01:05:07.050
I think the Lord put you here because
01:05:07.060 --> 01:05:08.570
he wants me to get something off my chest.
01:05:08.580 --> 01:05:09.940
He wants me to clear my conscience
01:05:10.060 --> 01:05:11.620
and he wants me to ask for forgiveness.
01:05:11.780 --> 01:05:12.780
Robert.
01:05:12.980 --> 01:05:15.414
What I did to you
at that rally in senior year
01:05:15.620 --> 01:05:17.053
was a cowardly act.
01:05:17.220 --> 01:05:19.575
It's something that
I've regretted every single day.
01:05:19.740 --> 01:05:22.732
Yeah. I mean,
bullying is a national crisis.
01:05:22.900 --> 01:05:27.257
It can leave people
with a lifetime of pain.
01:05:27.420 --> 01:05:30.856
And I just have no excuse
for what I did to you.
01:05:31.020 --> 01:05:33.450
I mean, I did grow up in a house
with a father who was physical,
01:05:33.460 --> 01:05:35.860
but that doesn't give me
the right to take it out on somebody
01:05:35.940 --> 01:05:38.408
who at the time
was weaker, you know? So...
01:05:38.780 --> 01:05:41.897
Calvin, with this particular
transgression,
01:05:42.060 --> 01:05:45.575
I not only embarrassed him
but I also ruined your final speech.
01:05:45.740 --> 01:05:47.378
- No, no.
- Yes, I did.
01:05:47.540 --> 01:05:50.010
- It's okay. No, it's okay.
- No, really, I stole your thunder.
01:05:50.020 --> 01:05:52.570
And it's another thing that
I've had to live with every single day.
01:05:52.580 --> 01:05:55.413
And I work through it
in individual therapy as well as group,
01:05:55.620 --> 01:05:57.292
and I pray about it.
01:05:59.100 --> 01:06:00.215
So...
01:06:03.620 --> 01:06:07.818
I just want to say how truly sorry I am
01:06:07.980 --> 01:06:10.494
for what happened, you know.
01:06:10.660 --> 01:06:12.093
Or for what I did.
01:06:12.300 --> 01:06:13.580
It didn't just happen. I did it.
01:06:13.740 --> 01:06:16.459
I did it, and I wish to God
that I had not done it.
01:06:16.980 --> 01:06:20.097
So, I'm hoping that
you can find it in your heart
01:06:21.300 --> 01:06:23.177
to forgive me.
01:06:24.980 --> 01:06:27.096
I wasn't expecting this at all.
01:06:27.260 --> 01:06:28.932
Don't I know it. I know it.
01:06:30.140 --> 01:06:31.619
I'm just so happy.
01:06:32.740 --> 01:06:34.298
I don't know what to say.
01:06:35.060 --> 01:06:36.652
How about you say...
01:06:38.140 --> 01:06:42.099
"The Oscar goes to Trevor Olson."
01:06:45.540 --> 01:06:47.132
What do you mean?
01:06:55.300 --> 01:06:56.574
Weird Dick!
01:06:56.740 --> 01:06:58.332
You stupid ass!
01:06:58.500 --> 01:07:00.172
Good God, you're dumb!
01:07:00.340 --> 01:07:02.251
Dumber than ever, I guess!
01:07:02.420 --> 01:07:04.172
And you, too, Calvin!
01:07:04.340 --> 01:07:06.979
Look at that stupid look
on those two faces.
01:07:07.140 --> 01:07:09.973
"The Lord taught me to care."
Unbelievable.
01:07:10.140 --> 01:07:13.416
I'm a Scientologist. Okay, that's "A."
01:07:13.580 --> 01:07:15.855
And thetan-free since 2003.
01:07:16.020 --> 01:07:17.020
Clear as shit.
01:07:17.180 --> 01:07:18.420
And "I'm sorry for what I did"?
01:07:18.620 --> 01:07:19.970
Let me tell you what I'm sorry about.
01:07:19.980 --> 01:07:22.530
I'm sorry I didn't toss your naked ass
out there three more times.
01:07:22.540 --> 01:07:23.900
It was the best senior prank ever.
01:07:24.020 --> 01:07:25.499
I still get emails about it.
01:07:25.740 --> 01:07:27.580
And if I'd had
one of these bad boys back then,
01:07:27.740 --> 01:07:29.100
I would have shot it, uploaded it,
01:07:29.220 --> 01:07:31.654
and it would have gone crazy viral,
a zillion hits.
01:07:31.820 --> 01:07:32.855
Know what?
01:07:33.020 --> 01:07:34.770
You're going to regret
you ever opened your mouth.
01:07:34.780 --> 01:07:37.169
- You hear me, Trevor?
- Yeah? How come, Calvin?
01:07:37.340 --> 01:07:38.970
Because he's about to
whoop your ass, that's why.
01:07:38.980 --> 01:07:39.980
Who is?
01:07:40.180 --> 01:07:41.370
Bob, get up and whoop his ass.
01:07:41.380 --> 01:07:43.450
Here she comes!
Let me tell you something...
01:07:43.620 --> 01:07:46.498
Weird Dick can't chug
a bunch of fucking steroids and elk urine
01:07:46.660 --> 01:07:48.537
and suddenly be able to kick my ass.
01:07:48.700 --> 01:07:50.691
Fuck that! It ain't gonna happen.
01:07:51.060 --> 01:07:52.334
'Cause here's why.
01:07:53.740 --> 01:07:57.255
Once a fat kid, always a fat kid.
01:07:57.780 --> 01:07:58.895
Huh? Prove me wrong.
01:07:59.060 --> 01:08:00.700
Bob, come on. Do what you did in the bar.
01:08:11.540 --> 01:08:13.610
Come on, hit me!
01:08:13.780 --> 01:08:16.055
And I'll sue your ass,
and take your fanny pack away.
01:08:18.180 --> 01:08:19.613
You got to make poopies?
01:08:19.980 --> 01:08:20.980
What's wrong, Bob?
01:08:21.180 --> 01:08:22.215
We got a john here.
01:08:22.740 --> 01:08:24.571
Or you got to change your rag?
01:08:25.300 --> 01:08:26.300
Maybe that's it.
01:08:26.660 --> 01:08:28.412
Jenny, you got an extra rag?
01:08:29.620 --> 01:08:31.611
- What's the matter with you?
- I just want to go.
01:08:31.780 --> 01:08:33.054
She wants to go.
01:08:33.780 --> 01:08:35.771
Go ahead. There you go.
01:08:36.380 --> 01:08:37.449
No, it's a push.
01:08:37.620 --> 01:08:39.815
Boy, 50-50 shot. You missed that.
01:08:39.980 --> 01:08:41.299
At least you found the handle.
01:08:41.460 --> 01:08:43.928
Boy, he's still a scared little bitch.
01:08:44.100 --> 01:08:45.460
You know, you're still an asshole.
01:08:45.620 --> 01:08:47.656
Yeah, well, you're still
shorter than my cat.
01:08:48.460 --> 01:08:49.700
Here's your transaction number.
01:08:49.980 --> 01:08:51.459
Hit it, dick licker.
01:08:53.100 --> 01:08:55.056
- Thank you, Trevor.
- Yup.
01:08:56.020 --> 01:08:57.738
Glad to see you haven't changed a bit.
01:08:57.900 --> 01:08:58.900
Bye-bye now.
01:08:59.060 --> 01:09:00.460
- Was it push or pull?
- Clean push.
01:09:00.500 --> 01:09:02.210
- Which one is it?
- You want me to do it for you?
01:09:02.220 --> 01:09:03.220
Which one is it?
01:09:04.460 --> 01:09:07.020
Hey, hey, hey! Goddamn it, Joyner!
01:09:07.180 --> 01:09:08.329
Jenny!
01:09:08.500 --> 01:09:11.378
Jenny, get the Windex!
And security for this one.
01:09:11.540 --> 01:09:13.815
Get your asshole off my door! That's it!
01:09:15.380 --> 01:09:17.257
Bob! Bob!
01:09:17.580 --> 01:09:19.411
Bob! Bob! Bob!
01:09:26.540 --> 01:09:28.735
Mr. Joyner. Guess who
we're about to arrest
01:09:28.900 --> 01:09:30.856
for conspiracy to commit treason.
01:09:33.620 --> 01:09:36.088
That's right. Your lovely wife.
01:09:36.300 --> 01:09:38.052
So, here's what you're going to do.
01:09:38.260 --> 01:09:40.774
You're going to tell us
exactly where you and Bob are.
01:09:40.940 --> 01:09:43.410
Then you're going to go outside
and you're going to keep Bob on-site
01:09:43.420 --> 01:09:44.455
until we arrive.
01:09:44.700 --> 01:09:46.895
And if he leaves, you lose.
01:09:47.660 --> 01:09:49.218
Is that clear?
01:09:54.740 --> 01:09:55.740
Oh, hey.
01:09:55.940 --> 01:09:57.330
I don't know what happened in there,
01:09:57.340 --> 01:09:58.489
and I just froze up.
01:09:58.660 --> 01:10:00.332
I locked up. I'm sorry.
01:10:00.900 --> 01:10:01.935
Look, Bob, I...
01:10:02.100 --> 01:10:04.455
No, I gotta tell you something,
CJ, listen.
01:10:04.660 --> 01:10:06.500
You're the only one
who's ever been nice to me,
01:10:06.660 --> 01:10:08.537
the only one who's never laughed at me.
01:10:08.700 --> 01:10:11.817
And you're the only one
in this whole world that I trust.
01:10:11.980 --> 01:10:13.936
And I know you have a lot of friends,
01:10:16.500 --> 01:10:17.535
but I don't.
01:10:19.340 --> 01:10:20.693
You're my only friend, Calvin.
01:10:21.380 --> 01:10:23.974
And I will never
let you down again, I promise.
01:10:25.740 --> 01:10:27.298
I'm sorry, man.
01:10:30.980 --> 01:10:32.095
Sorry for what?
01:10:32.260 --> 01:10:33.932
I told Harris where we are.
01:10:34.980 --> 01:10:36.538
They were going to hurt Maggie.
01:10:36.700 --> 01:10:38.656
I had to. I didn't have a choice.
01:10:39.180 --> 01:10:40.295
I'm sorry.
01:10:45.380 --> 01:10:47.291
Freeze, Bob! Hands on your head!
01:10:47.460 --> 01:10:48.460
Do it now!
01:11:19.020 --> 01:11:20.533
I know you know how this goes,
01:11:20.700 --> 01:11:22.213
so I'll spare you the dramatics.
01:11:22.380 --> 01:11:24.450
I'll ask you just once.
01:11:24.620 --> 01:11:26.850
Where are the satellite encryption codes?
01:11:28.980 --> 01:11:31.016
Aw. What's the matter, Bob?
01:11:31.740 --> 01:11:34.891
Are you upset that
your friend turned you in?
01:11:35.460 --> 01:11:37.098
I don't have any friends.
01:11:37.260 --> 01:11:38.932
Okay, I don't want to watch this, guys.
01:11:39.100 --> 01:11:40.499
Don't worry, it'll be over quick.
01:11:40.660 --> 01:11:42.218
She always gets them to break.
01:11:42.420 --> 01:11:44.775
Okay. You have it your way.
01:11:44.940 --> 01:11:46.532
We're going to do this old-school.
01:11:54.580 --> 01:11:56.491
Get the extraction tools.
01:11:58.260 --> 01:12:00.216
The extraction tools?
01:12:00.580 --> 01:12:02.536
If you don't have the stomach for it,
you can go.
01:12:03.340 --> 01:12:04.819
Come on.
01:12:07.460 --> 01:12:08.495
Stop recording.
01:12:18.700 --> 01:12:20.820
Why am I coming here?
I was told I'd be able to leave.
01:12:20.860 --> 01:12:21.929
You can leave,
01:12:22.100 --> 01:12:23.580
when Agent Harris says you can leave,
01:12:23.700 --> 01:12:24.769
which might be never.
01:12:24.980 --> 01:12:26.333
I gotta watch this.
01:12:34.700 --> 01:12:36.213
I'm sorry, Bob.
01:12:36.700 --> 01:12:37.974
I'm sorry, man.
01:12:51.180 --> 01:12:52.295
Oh, Jesus!
01:13:00.140 --> 01:13:01.140
What the hell?
01:13:02.700 --> 01:13:04.372
Hey! Hey!
01:13:05.940 --> 01:13:06.940
Don't move!
01:13:07.100 --> 01:13:09.534
You get your hands off!
Get them off the keyboard!
01:13:09.700 --> 01:13:11.780
- What are you doing, Calvin?
- Give me your keycard!
01:13:11.980 --> 01:13:13.493
Give me your keycard!
01:13:14.100 --> 01:13:15.100
Give it to me.
01:13:15.540 --> 01:13:16.575
- Okay...
- Go sit down.
01:13:16.740 --> 01:13:18.332
Okay. Yeah.
01:13:18.500 --> 01:13:19.819
Sorry. I'm sorry.
01:13:20.020 --> 01:13:22.011
- Sit down! Sit down!
- Okay, okay, okay.
01:13:24.260 --> 01:13:25.260
You know, Bob?
01:13:25.420 --> 01:13:28.059
This is actually
my favorite part of the job.
01:13:28.220 --> 01:13:30.450
Thank you for being so uncooperative.
01:13:30.620 --> 01:13:32.250
What do you think
your little buddy, Joyner,
01:13:32.260 --> 01:13:33.860
would say if he could see you like this?
01:13:34.020 --> 01:13:35.020
Two words.
01:13:35.180 --> 01:13:36.215
I'm in.
01:13:37.220 --> 01:13:39.051
What-what?
01:13:39.380 --> 01:13:41.735
You're making a big mistake, Mr. Joyner.
01:13:41.900 --> 01:13:43.856
That's only if I'm wrong.
01:13:45.700 --> 01:13:47.213
Come on, Bob. Let's go!
01:13:47.420 --> 01:13:49.251
What're you doing? Come on, man!
01:13:50.700 --> 01:13:52.895
Okay, listen to me. Bob, I'm sorry.
01:13:53.060 --> 01:13:55.016
I'm sorry I double-crossed you.
You hear me?
01:13:55.220 --> 01:13:57.410
I should've believed you,
I should've trusted you, and I didn't.
01:13:57.420 --> 01:13:58.420
I'm sorry for that.
01:13:58.580 --> 01:14:01.140
Listen to me. Bob,
we don't have time for this, man!
01:14:01.300 --> 01:14:03.416
I need you to tap into
that super-spy stuff
01:14:03.580 --> 01:14:06.492
and I need you to get us the hell
out of here right now. Do you hear me?
01:14:06.740 --> 01:14:08.492
I'm not a super spy, Calvin.
01:14:09.580 --> 01:14:11.696
I'm Robbie Wheirdicht, super tool.
01:14:11.860 --> 01:14:13.930
No, stop. You're not a super tool.
01:14:14.100 --> 01:14:16.489
You're not even Robbie Wheirdicht.
You're Bob Stone!
01:14:17.100 --> 01:14:18.820
- I made that name up.
- So what?
01:14:18.940 --> 01:14:21.300
- It's not real.
- What does that mean? What does that mean?
01:14:21.340 --> 01:14:25.094
You think Mr. T and Sting
were born with those names?
01:14:26.820 --> 01:14:28.810
How do you think I got
the name "Golden Jet" at high school?
01:14:28.820 --> 01:14:31.732
- 'Cause you're awesome.
- No, that's not how.
01:14:32.620 --> 01:14:35.259
In the eighth grade, I ran track.
It was my first race.
01:14:35.420 --> 01:14:38.298
Okay, the race came down
to me and this other kid.
01:14:38.460 --> 01:14:39.939
I wanted to win the race so damn bad
01:14:40.140 --> 01:14:42.290
that I ended up peeing in my pants
at the finish line.
01:14:42.540 --> 01:14:44.292
That's how I got the name "Golden Jet."
01:14:45.020 --> 01:14:48.060
So, take it from a guy who's literally
pissed his pants in front of everybody
01:14:48.100 --> 01:14:49.453
just to win a race.
01:14:49.700 --> 01:14:51.611
You are who you decide to be.
01:14:52.140 --> 01:14:54.893
And you chose to be
an international CIA spy.
01:14:55.260 --> 01:14:57.220
Come on, man.
You get to kill people for a living.
01:14:57.660 --> 01:14:58.660
How cool is that?
01:15:00.820 --> 01:15:03.015
I don't know.
01:15:03.300 --> 01:15:04.300
Kinda cool I guess.
01:15:04.900 --> 01:15:07.016
What do you mean "kinda cool"?
Ain't no kinda cool.
01:15:07.380 --> 01:15:09.336
Stop it! It's awesome.
01:15:09.660 --> 01:15:10.979
Now, come on, man. We boys?
01:15:12.660 --> 01:15:13.660
- We're boys.
- Oh!
01:15:15.340 --> 01:15:16.340
Sorry, Jet.
01:15:16.820 --> 01:15:18.492
Oh, God!
01:15:19.420 --> 01:15:20.420
Oh, God!
01:15:20.820 --> 01:15:22.412
See? Good as new.
01:15:23.700 --> 01:15:25.531
Wow. Sorry, man.
01:15:29.460 --> 01:15:30.495
Go, go!
01:15:31.020 --> 01:15:32.196
Get me out!
01:15:32.220 --> 01:15:34.097
He got the jump on us. Give me the key.
01:15:37.500 --> 01:15:38.940
Look out, Bob!
01:15:39.660 --> 01:15:41.776
Here, Jet! Get him!
01:15:41.940 --> 01:15:43.339
Watch out!
01:15:52.020 --> 01:15:53.373
Did you see that, Bob?
01:15:53.540 --> 01:15:55.610
I did the thing! I did the thing, Bob!
01:15:55.780 --> 01:15:56.780
Yeah!
01:15:56.940 --> 01:15:58.851
Yeah! Yeah!
01:15:59.140 --> 01:16:00.540
- Come on! Follow me!
- Let's do it!
01:16:00.660 --> 01:16:03.220
No! What the fuck am I doing?
Here! You get the gun.
01:16:03.380 --> 01:16:05.018
- I'm behind you. Go.
- All right.
01:16:09.580 --> 01:16:11.411
Oh, my God. There's two of them.
01:16:11.580 --> 01:16:14.014
Yeah, I'll distract them
and you open the door, okay?
01:16:14.180 --> 01:16:15.579
- What? No!
- Let's roll.
01:16:15.780 --> 01:16:16.815
No, no.
01:16:18.780 --> 01:16:20.054
Go, go!
01:16:20.780 --> 01:16:22.930
- Close in!
- Moving out!
01:16:23.100 --> 01:16:25.011
- Freeze, Bob!
- Sorry about this, guys.
01:16:28.180 --> 01:16:29.738
Nope, come here.
01:16:39.820 --> 01:16:41.094
Come on.
01:16:41.260 --> 01:16:43.490
Wrong keycard, pal. Turn around.
01:16:45.580 --> 01:16:46.729
You needed this one.
01:16:46.900 --> 01:16:48.128
On the ground, now.
01:16:48.300 --> 01:16:49.574
Can I say something first?
01:16:49.740 --> 01:16:51.298
- What?
- This is going to hurt.
01:16:54.180 --> 01:16:56.500
- Hey, get the keycard! Let's roll.
- All right, all right.
01:16:59.100 --> 01:17:00.374
Which car are we taking?
01:17:02.420 --> 01:17:03.455
Not that one.
01:17:03.660 --> 01:17:05.252
Oh, my God.
01:17:05.820 --> 01:17:07.617
Oh, God. Oh, sh...
01:17:08.540 --> 01:17:09.540
Oh.
01:17:09.860 --> 01:17:11.054
Here we go, Jet.
01:17:13.180 --> 01:17:15.620
- Bob, they are shooting at us!
- It's okay, it's bulletproof.
01:17:15.780 --> 01:17:16.780
Drive, drive!
01:17:28.660 --> 01:17:29.854
Here you go, Jet.
01:17:30.580 --> 01:17:31.580
What's this?
01:17:31.740 --> 01:17:33.776
Bug-out bag, courtesy of the CIA.
01:17:33.980 --> 01:17:35.450
Go ahead and grab that
encrypted phone in there.
01:17:35.460 --> 01:17:36.460
For what?
01:17:36.620 --> 01:17:38.260
You still have the bank transaction code?
01:17:38.420 --> 01:17:41.340
How are transaction numbers gonna help us
find out where the bad guys are?
01:17:41.500 --> 01:17:44.100
Well, it's not bank transaction
numbers or codes, it's actually...
01:17:44.180 --> 01:17:45.693
Longitude and latitude.
01:17:47.100 --> 01:17:50.809
Look at the spy brain
on the Jet! What-what!
01:17:51.140 --> 01:17:53.370
You're like a chocolate Google.
01:17:53.540 --> 01:17:55.576
Bob, don't do that. Stop it. Stop it.
01:17:55.740 --> 01:17:56.970
You're getting good at this, man.
01:17:56.980 --> 01:17:58.970
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
It's longitude and latitude.
01:17:58.980 --> 01:18:02.416
All you gotta do is plug those
digits into the GPS, and boom!
01:18:02.620 --> 01:18:05.180
We're gonna catch the buyer
and The Badger, just like that.
01:18:07.340 --> 01:18:09.012
Boston.
01:18:12.540 --> 01:18:14.212
We're gonna need a plane.
01:18:27.620 --> 01:18:28.894
You ever steal a plane before?
01:18:29.060 --> 01:18:31.335
- I stole some Starbursts one time.
- Mmm-hmm.
01:18:31.780 --> 01:18:33.850
So I don't know
if that compares or anything,
01:18:34.020 --> 01:18:35.453
but I wasn't successful with that.
01:18:35.620 --> 01:18:36.820
On the way out, I dropped 'em.
01:18:36.900 --> 01:18:38.290
Dropped the whole bag. The guy caught me.
01:18:38.300 --> 01:18:40.036
"What's that? " I just said, "A Starburst."
01:18:40.060 --> 01:18:42.051
Told him myself. It was a mess.
01:18:44.860 --> 01:18:47.294
Check it out. The universe provides.
01:18:49.820 --> 01:18:50.820
Oh.
01:18:52.780 --> 01:18:53.780
Golden Jet.
01:18:54.020 --> 01:18:55.419
- Golden Jet.
- Golden Jet.
01:18:59.340 --> 01:19:01.217
- It's just one guard in there.
- All right.
01:19:01.380 --> 01:19:03.018
90% of spy work is distraction.
01:19:03.180 --> 01:19:04.370
You get in there and distract that guard,
01:19:04.380 --> 01:19:05.449
I'm gonna get us a plane.
01:19:06.180 --> 01:19:07.215
What?
01:19:09.060 --> 01:19:10.660
I don't know what the hell you expect...
01:19:12.980 --> 01:19:13.980
Bob!
01:19:14.780 --> 01:19:15.780
Bob!
01:19:16.420 --> 01:19:17.455
Fuck!
01:19:18.060 --> 01:19:19.129
Fuck you, Bob!
01:19:20.540 --> 01:19:21.540
Damn it!
01:19:29.620 --> 01:19:31.929
Hey, I need a plane.
01:19:32.140 --> 01:19:35.052
Sir, you cannot be in here.
This is a private airfield.
01:19:35.220 --> 01:19:37.734
I understand that but I have an organ
in this cooler right now
01:19:37.940 --> 01:19:39.931
that needs to get transported ASAP.
01:19:40.620 --> 01:19:41.620
Really?
01:19:41.820 --> 01:19:44.812
Because my sister-in-law
had a heart transplant last year
01:19:44.980 --> 01:19:47.813
and they did not bring it
in a Playmate lunch cooler.
01:19:47.980 --> 01:19:49.777
I hate to break it to you,
01:19:49.940 --> 01:19:51.658
but this is not a...
01:19:52.900 --> 01:19:54.540
- This is not a heart.
- It's not a heart?
01:19:55.260 --> 01:19:56.295
No, it's not.
01:19:56.500 --> 01:19:57.694
Hmm. What is it then?
01:19:58.780 --> 01:20:00.930
- It's a dick.
- Okay.
01:20:02.500 --> 01:20:04.377
I am made of questions right now.
01:20:04.540 --> 01:20:05.814
Well, you don't have to ask.
01:20:05.980 --> 01:20:07.777
Last night, lady got into it with a man.
01:20:07.940 --> 01:20:09.612
She ended up cutting his pecker off.
01:20:09.780 --> 01:20:11.657
She left with it, got in a car, drove,
01:20:11.820 --> 01:20:13.776
got on 95, threw it out the window.
01:20:14.140 --> 01:20:16.973
The second largest penis hunt
in the state history.
01:20:17.140 --> 01:20:18.610
The man was Korean, so you better believe
01:20:18.620 --> 01:20:19.894
it took a long time to find.
01:20:20.500 --> 01:20:22.377
You're stereotyping Korean dicks.
01:20:22.540 --> 01:20:23.609
That's racist.
01:20:23.820 --> 01:20:25.538
I've seen Korean dicks bigger than you.
01:20:25.740 --> 01:20:28.254
Okay, after finding it,
the guy brought it to me,
01:20:28.420 --> 01:20:31.410
and he said, "Do your due diligence in
getting this dick where it's got to go."
01:20:31.420 --> 01:20:32.694
That's what I do.
01:20:32.860 --> 01:20:35.169
I'm a dick deliverer specialist.
01:20:35.620 --> 01:20:36.620
Oh, DDS?
01:20:36.860 --> 01:20:38.452
Like a dentist but for dicks.
01:20:39.220 --> 01:20:40.220
Uh...
01:20:40.900 --> 01:20:43.698
So, people are like,
"Here's a dick. Find a plane."
01:20:44.540 --> 01:20:46.610
That's how you do it?
You're like an Uber for dicks?
01:20:46.900 --> 01:20:48.580
Where do you get these jobs?
On Craigslist?
01:20:48.740 --> 01:20:50.740
Okay, sir, we don't need
to demean each other here.
01:20:50.820 --> 01:20:52.300
I don't believe a word you're saying.
01:20:52.820 --> 01:20:54.094
Let me see it.
01:20:54.700 --> 01:20:56.452
I have no problem showing you this.
01:20:56.620 --> 01:20:59.054
So if you wanna see it
then get ready to see.
01:20:59.420 --> 01:21:01.331
- Here I go.
- Go for it.
01:21:02.660 --> 01:21:05.493
Oh, shit! Oh, shit.
01:21:05.660 --> 01:21:08.094
I'm just kidding. This is my friend.
01:21:08.460 --> 01:21:10.132
- Oh!
- It's my buddy.
01:21:10.380 --> 01:21:12.177
His name's Snake Gyllenhaal.
01:21:12.380 --> 01:21:14.371
- He guards my lunch.
- Okay, that's enough.
01:21:38.100 --> 01:21:39.499
It's gotta be Harris, right?
01:21:40.780 --> 01:21:41.815
What do you mean?
01:21:42.020 --> 01:21:43.620
I mean, she's gotta be The Black Badger.
01:21:43.700 --> 01:21:45.010
It's the only thing that makes sense.
01:21:45.020 --> 01:21:46.900
I mean, she's had access
to the encryption codes
01:21:46.940 --> 01:21:49.620
and she's so hot and bothered about
pinning this whole thing on you.
01:21:49.780 --> 01:21:50.849
It's gotta be her!
01:21:51.020 --> 01:21:52.533
I don't know, Jet.
01:21:52.740 --> 01:21:54.620
I'm pretty sure she thinks
I'm The Black Badger.
01:21:54.780 --> 01:21:56.970
She worked me over pretty good
in that interrogation room.
01:21:56.980 --> 01:21:59.396
Hold on, wait, wait... What's going on?
01:21:59.420 --> 01:22:01.854
What's that?
What's going on right now, Bob?
01:22:02.020 --> 01:22:04.301
No biggie. We're completely outta gas.
01:22:04.380 --> 01:22:05.859
Oh, my... Oh!
01:22:07.820 --> 01:22:10.095
We're going down, Jet!
There's nothing I can do!
01:22:10.300 --> 01:22:12.894
- Oh, shit!
- Really quickly...
01:22:13.060 --> 01:22:16.655
What's the one thing
you wish you'd done in your life?
01:22:16.820 --> 01:22:19.330
The one thing I wish I hadn't done
is not get in a plane with a guy
01:22:19.340 --> 01:22:21.251
who didn't check the goddamned fuel!
01:22:21.420 --> 01:22:24.378
- Why wouldn't you check the fuel?
- No, something that's real.
01:22:24.540 --> 01:22:26.974
What's the one thing
you regret not doing for you?
01:22:27.140 --> 01:22:29.290
Oh, my God! I think we're gonna die!
01:22:34.020 --> 01:22:35.976
Not having a kid, man!
01:22:36.500 --> 01:22:37.694
Not being a father!
01:22:37.860 --> 01:22:40.215
I regret not being a father!
01:22:40.380 --> 01:22:42.257
Maggie, I should've gave you a kid!
01:22:42.460 --> 01:22:44.894
I should've gave you my seed, Maggie!
01:22:45.060 --> 01:22:46.459
I should've!
01:22:46.620 --> 01:22:47.973
I'm so selfish!
01:22:49.380 --> 01:22:51.371
I'm sorry, Maggie!
01:22:55.540 --> 01:22:57.815
- That wasn't so hard, right?
- What?
01:22:57.980 --> 01:22:59.698
Hey, just for the record,
01:22:59.860 --> 01:23:01.532
I think you'd make a great dad.
01:23:02.180 --> 01:23:03.977
Did you just fake this whole thing?
01:23:04.660 --> 01:23:05.660
Yeah, kinda.
01:23:05.820 --> 01:23:07.458
You gotta be shitting me glory!
01:23:07.620 --> 01:23:09.099
No, not at all.
01:23:09.260 --> 01:23:11.490
I just thought that maybe a
facing-your-own-death situation
01:23:11.500 --> 01:23:14.572
might help motivate you
to clarify some of your goals in life.
01:23:14.780 --> 01:23:16.293
And, hey, between me and you,
01:23:16.780 --> 01:23:18.460
I know you've been struggling
a little bit.
01:23:18.900 --> 01:23:21.095
You know what I'm struggling with
right now, Bob?
01:23:21.260 --> 01:23:22.739
Not whooping your ass.
01:23:22.900 --> 01:23:25.116
Okay, Jet.
Hey, you're really cute when you cry.
01:23:25.140 --> 01:23:27.051
Stop it! Enough!
01:23:40.700 --> 01:23:41.894
I don't get it.
01:23:42.100 --> 01:23:43.290
I mean, if these coordinates are correct,
01:23:43.300 --> 01:23:45.370
we should be standing right on top of it.
01:23:45.540 --> 01:23:48.418
The deal doesn't go down
for another 30 minutes, Jet,
01:23:48.580 --> 01:23:51.094
- so we're kinda early.
- No!
01:23:51.260 --> 01:23:52.810
Why would you do it
out in the open like this?
01:23:52.820 --> 01:23:54.333
Why would you take that risk?
01:23:54.500 --> 01:23:56.172
Just doesn't make any sense, man.
01:23:57.500 --> 01:23:59.172
Shit! Come on.
01:24:01.220 --> 01:24:02.255
Wait.
01:24:03.940 --> 01:24:05.817
Oh, wait.
It's not happening up here.
01:24:07.620 --> 01:24:09.019
No, it's not. It's...
01:24:11.900 --> 01:24:14.460
Oh, it's happening beneath us. Look.
01:24:14.620 --> 01:24:16.497
It's an underground parking garage.
01:24:17.420 --> 01:24:18.853
Yeah, that's a good eye, Jet.
01:24:19.380 --> 01:24:21.610
Why don't you stay up here?
Keep overwatch.
01:24:21.780 --> 01:24:23.380
I'll go down there and check things out.
01:24:23.420 --> 01:24:25.251
Wait, what? No, I'm going with you.
01:24:25.420 --> 01:24:28.173
You can't go with me.
The smarter play is if we split up.
01:24:28.340 --> 01:24:29.534
Smarter play for who?
01:24:29.980 --> 01:24:31.810
Do you know what happens
when people split up, Bob?
01:24:31.820 --> 01:24:32.855
Somebody dies!
01:24:33.020 --> 01:24:34.460
I'd be the one to die. You know why?
01:24:34.580 --> 01:24:37.060
Because I don't have a bulletproof vest
and I don't have a gun!
01:24:37.140 --> 01:24:38.900
Which means that you
are my bulletproof vest!
01:24:38.940 --> 01:24:41.490
My little black ass is gonna stay
behind you, you're not leaving me!
01:24:41.500 --> 01:24:43.377
That's exactly why
you should stay up here.
01:24:43.580 --> 01:24:46.050
Look, if you went down
in that garage and you got shot to death,
01:24:46.060 --> 01:24:47.220
you know how hurt I would be?
01:24:47.380 --> 01:24:49.060
I'd be super bummed out!
I don't want that.
01:24:49.180 --> 01:24:50.772
It's safer for you up here.
01:24:50.940 --> 01:24:52.970
If something happened up here,
what am I supposed to do, Bob?
01:24:52.980 --> 01:24:55.096
How do I get your attention?
Make a bird call?
01:24:57.420 --> 01:24:59.490
Does that sound like a bird to you? Huh?
01:24:59.660 --> 01:25:01.690
That's my biggest weakness!
I can't make bird noises.
01:25:01.700 --> 01:25:02.735
I never could.
01:25:02.900 --> 01:25:04.652
So if that's what
I gotta depend on to live,
01:25:04.820 --> 01:25:07.653
it means I'm gonna die!
I'mma die up here, by myself
01:25:07.820 --> 01:25:10.129
sounding like a dead-ass pigeon.
01:25:11.900 --> 01:25:14.494
- I have no idea what a pigeon...
- Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet!
01:25:14.660 --> 01:25:16.332
You don't have to make bird noises.
01:25:16.500 --> 01:25:17.650
You don't have to sound like a pigeon.
01:25:17.660 --> 01:25:20.493
All you gotta do
is call me on the encrypted phone
01:25:20.700 --> 01:25:22.497
that's in your hand.
01:25:27.100 --> 01:25:28.453
- Okay?
- Okay, yeah.
01:25:28.940 --> 01:25:30.293
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
01:25:30.500 --> 01:25:31.649
All right?
01:25:31.900 --> 01:25:33.094
Oh, Jet.
01:25:34.620 --> 01:25:36.292
I'll see you on the other side.
01:25:37.140 --> 01:25:38.140
Yeah.
01:25:38.460 --> 01:25:39.460
Yeah.
01:26:05.620 --> 01:26:06.689
You're early.
01:26:07.380 --> 01:26:08.972
So are you.
01:26:11.620 --> 01:26:12.973
Come on.
01:26:23.660 --> 01:26:24.979
Oh, my God!
01:26:28.820 --> 01:26:30.697
Oh, my God.
01:26:31.540 --> 01:26:32.540
I knew it.
01:26:32.700 --> 01:26:35.055
I knew it. I knew
she was The Black Badger!
01:26:35.220 --> 01:26:36.858
Oh, my God!
01:26:37.380 --> 01:26:39.500
Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone.
01:26:39.660 --> 01:26:40.660
Yello?
01:26:40.860 --> 01:26:43.454
Bob, Harris is The Black Badger!
01:26:43.660 --> 01:26:44.660
Hello?
01:26:45.020 --> 01:26:46.419
Harris is The Black Badger!
01:26:46.620 --> 01:26:47.655
I can't hear you.
01:26:47.820 --> 01:26:49.651
Harris is The Black Badger!
01:26:51.020 --> 01:26:53.534
Just kidding! I'm not here.
Leave a message at the beep.
01:26:53.700 --> 01:26:54.820
What?
01:27:05.020 --> 01:27:06.533
Oh. Harris is
The Black Badger!
01:27:06.700 --> 01:27:08.338
Harris is The Black Badger!
01:27:08.500 --> 01:27:10.809
I knew it. I knew it.
Harris is The Black Badger!
01:27:12.020 --> 01:27:14.136
Bob! Harris is The...
01:27:15.620 --> 01:27:16.620
Who is he?
01:27:17.060 --> 01:27:18.060
That's my partner.
01:27:31.940 --> 01:27:33.498
I don't like splitting my fees.
01:27:35.180 --> 01:27:38.331
The package. Please.
01:27:39.500 --> 01:27:41.138
Thought you'd never ask.
01:27:41.380 --> 01:27:44.770
Wait! You're making a mistake.
01:27:46.340 --> 01:27:48.012
Hello, Bob.
01:27:49.700 --> 01:27:51.292
But you're dead.
01:27:51.460 --> 01:27:53.496
Not as much as people think.
01:27:54.260 --> 01:27:57.013
Look, he's not The Black Badger...
01:27:57.700 --> 01:27:58.700
I am.
01:27:58.900 --> 01:28:01.016
And those aren't the encryption codes,
01:28:01.180 --> 01:28:02.499
these are.
01:28:02.660 --> 01:28:03.775
He's lying to you.
01:28:03.940 --> 01:28:05.419
This man is a CIA agent,
01:28:05.780 --> 01:28:07.380
and he's trying to sell you bogus plans.
01:28:14.620 --> 01:28:15.655
Damn.
01:28:17.620 --> 01:28:18.939
Ow, ow.
01:28:22.540 --> 01:28:23.609
He shot me.
01:28:27.540 --> 01:28:29.690
These are the real codes
01:28:30.540 --> 01:28:32.132
and I am the real Black Badger.
01:28:36.260 --> 01:28:37.739
Bob is The Black Badger.
01:28:39.420 --> 01:28:40.716
Bob is The Black Badger.
01:28:40.740 --> 01:28:42.810
I am The Black Badger.
01:28:43.300 --> 01:28:44.494
Phil?
01:28:45.740 --> 01:28:48.300
No, I'm The Black Badger.
01:28:48.460 --> 01:28:51.452
I'm starting to think
I might be The Black Badger.
01:28:53.700 --> 01:28:55.338
Here's the thing.
01:28:55.540 --> 01:28:58.612
I have no idea
who is the real Black Badger.
01:28:59.660 --> 01:29:01.173
And I don't care.
01:29:01.380 --> 01:29:02.859
'Cause I'm The Honey Badger.
01:29:03.020 --> 01:29:04.931
And The Honey Badger doesn't give a shit.
01:29:05.100 --> 01:29:06.692
The Honey Badger's nasty.
01:29:06.860 --> 01:29:09.533
He's so nasty, he'll take them both.
01:29:10.060 --> 01:29:11.380
Hand them over.
01:29:11.620 --> 01:29:13.815
Phil, when this thing is over,
01:29:13.980 --> 01:29:18.019
I'm going to rip your throat out
like Patrick Swayze in Road House.
01:29:18.180 --> 01:29:19.660
Oh, my God. You and Road House.
01:29:19.700 --> 01:29:20.735
Get over that movie.
01:29:20.940 --> 01:29:22.658
It sucked then, it sucks now.
01:29:23.180 --> 01:29:24.499
Fuck Patrick Swayze!
01:29:25.500 --> 01:29:26.615
How dare you!
01:29:31.940 --> 01:29:33.339
Drop your weapons!
01:29:39.100 --> 01:29:40.135
Oh! Oh, shit!
01:29:52.460 --> 01:29:53.609
The codes.
01:29:54.020 --> 01:29:55.135
Don't do it.
01:29:55.780 --> 01:29:56.849
Stupid.
01:29:59.300 --> 01:30:00.300
Okay.
01:30:00.860 --> 01:30:01.895
One,
01:30:02.940 --> 01:30:03.940
two,
01:30:05.300 --> 01:30:06.300
three! Shit!
01:30:11.620 --> 01:30:13.292
Uh-oh! Oh!
01:30:13.820 --> 01:30:14.820
No!
01:30:15.300 --> 01:30:16.415
He's got the codes!
01:30:51.420 --> 01:30:52.420
Whoo!
01:30:52.860 --> 01:30:54.498
I mean, this is crazy, right?
01:30:54.860 --> 01:30:56.170
You stay the hell away from me, Bob!
01:30:56.180 --> 01:30:57.454
You shot me in the neck!
01:31:00.500 --> 01:31:01.500
Jet!
01:31:22.780 --> 01:31:23.815
Okay.
01:31:28.220 --> 01:31:30.370
Golden Jet for the win!
01:31:32.020 --> 01:31:33.533
No. Shit!
01:31:33.740 --> 01:31:35.093
Drop your weapon, Bob.
01:31:36.300 --> 01:31:37.300
Oh, shit!
01:31:37.460 --> 01:31:39.018
Get behind me, Mr. Joyner.
01:31:39.460 --> 01:31:40.813
Ah, you don't wanna do that, Jet.
01:31:41.060 --> 01:31:42.334
It's obvious he's the bad guy.
01:31:42.540 --> 01:31:44.130
I'm the good guy. You wanna get behind me.
01:31:44.140 --> 01:31:45.971
Agent Harris had me go dark
01:31:46.140 --> 01:31:49.212
to get Bob to reveal himself
as The Black Badger.
01:31:49.420 --> 01:31:51.170
You don't seriously
believe this guy, do you?
01:31:51.180 --> 01:31:52.340
You wanna get behind me, Jet.
01:31:52.500 --> 01:31:54.218
You betrayed your nation, Bob.
01:31:54.580 --> 01:31:56.889
You betrayed your partner, Phil.
01:31:57.060 --> 01:32:00.416
Okay, no, wait! Everybody just stop!
01:32:00.580 --> 01:32:01.615
Cut the shit!
01:32:02.180 --> 01:32:03.818
I'mma cut the line right now!
01:32:04.020 --> 01:32:05.373
I cut the shit!
01:32:05.540 --> 01:32:07.417
Hear me? Now I don't care
who betrayed who.
01:32:07.580 --> 01:32:09.013
Okay? I just don't wanna get hurt!
01:32:09.460 --> 01:32:11.974
So there ain't gonna be no... Shit!
01:32:20.860 --> 01:32:21.860
Come on.
01:32:37.740 --> 01:32:38.740
Shi...
01:32:43.420 --> 01:32:44.420
Shit.
01:33:03.140 --> 01:33:05.210
Smart move, Mr. Joyner.
01:33:05.380 --> 01:33:07.655
You've done your country a great service.
01:33:07.820 --> 01:33:10.015
Now, hand me the firearm
01:33:10.180 --> 01:33:13.411
and we'll turn over
the satellite codes together.
01:33:13.820 --> 01:33:17.415
Stay right there, man.
Don't you take another step.
01:33:17.660 --> 01:33:19.969
Just because I shot him
does not mean I trust you.
01:33:20.380 --> 01:33:21.529
We don't have time for this.
01:33:21.740 --> 01:33:24.493
Stop! I said, "Stop."
01:33:25.260 --> 01:33:27.012
Aw, whoopsie.
01:33:31.220 --> 01:33:33.256
Nice throw, bitch.
01:33:37.980 --> 01:33:42.496
You wanna know why your pal Bob
could never have been The Black Badger?
01:33:43.660 --> 01:33:45.776
It's because he's too weak.
01:33:45.940 --> 01:33:48.249
And if I had to hear
another goddamned story
01:33:48.420 --> 01:33:51.617
about Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner
01:33:51.780 --> 01:33:53.930
and how awesome you were in high school
01:33:54.100 --> 01:33:56.694
and how you were
this big idiot's best friend,
01:33:56.860 --> 01:33:58.373
I was just gonna lose it.
01:33:59.660 --> 01:34:02.970
Looking at you right now,
you don't seem so cool.
01:34:03.180 --> 01:34:06.616
You just seem like a regular guy.
01:34:07.060 --> 01:34:08.493
An everyday Joe.
01:34:09.380 --> 01:34:12.975
You know, faking my own death
was the easy part.
01:34:13.860 --> 01:34:17.136
But dealing with Bob, day after day,
was the hard part.
01:34:17.300 --> 01:34:18.300
Hey, Phil.
01:34:18.460 --> 01:34:19.529
What, Bob?
01:34:20.460 --> 01:34:22.291
I'll see you on the other side.
01:34:22.980 --> 01:34:25.289
No, I hope we don't. All right?
01:34:25.460 --> 01:34:27.018
Just, no. Bye, bye, bye.
01:34:27.180 --> 01:34:28.180
Just go.
01:34:28.340 --> 01:34:31.059
I made up the Black Badger,
rigged up a blood bag
01:34:31.220 --> 01:34:32.380
and that big dummy bought it.
01:34:32.540 --> 01:34:33.689
Bob!
01:34:33.900 --> 01:34:35.811
No, no! Hang on, buddy.
01:34:36.420 --> 01:34:37.940
No, there's some sort of bomb in here.
01:34:37.980 --> 01:34:39.857
You're pushing it closed, I think.
01:34:40.020 --> 01:34:42.090
- No, no, no. Sorry.
- No, don't give up!
01:34:42.300 --> 01:34:43.300
Bye, Bob.
01:34:44.340 --> 01:34:46.649
I'm getting away with
a half a billion dollars.
01:34:46.820 --> 01:34:50.256
And Boy Scout Bob is gonna
spend his life in prison.
01:34:50.420 --> 01:34:52.012
Ain't America great?
01:34:52.820 --> 01:34:57.336
So now you're gonna be
the second partner of Bob's to die.
01:34:57.500 --> 01:34:58.500
Just relax.
01:34:58.660 --> 01:35:01.254
On your knees, Golden Jet.
01:35:10.980 --> 01:35:12.174
What the hell was that?
01:35:14.020 --> 01:35:15.658
Golden Jet flip.
01:35:16.180 --> 01:35:19.092
Yeah? Well, you really suck at it.
01:35:19.300 --> 01:35:20.528
I know.
01:35:20.700 --> 01:35:22.372
Then why'd you do it?
01:35:22.540 --> 01:35:23.540
Distraction.
01:35:27.580 --> 01:35:28.980
Oh, you just pulled his throat out!
01:35:31.380 --> 01:35:33.098
I'll see you on the other side.
01:35:38.220 --> 01:35:39.970
Jet, come here.
Give me your hand, old buddy.
01:35:39.980 --> 01:35:41.698
Oh, shit! Get that away from me!
01:35:41.900 --> 01:35:43.049
Sorry, Jet.
01:35:44.100 --> 01:35:46.375
Come here, Jet.
That was a trachea.
01:35:46.540 --> 01:35:48.053
Great distraction, man!
01:35:48.220 --> 01:35:49.653
Sorry I had to shoot you, Jet.
01:35:49.820 --> 01:35:51.538
It was the only way
I could save your life.
01:35:51.700 --> 01:35:53.895
But when you shot me
to get Phil to confess
01:35:54.060 --> 01:35:55.379
that he was The Black Badger,
01:35:55.580 --> 01:35:57.536
that was some next-level-type shit!
01:35:57.700 --> 01:36:01.454
Yeah, no.
I'm glad you see it the way I saw it.
01:36:01.620 --> 01:36:03.576
That was my plan the whole time. So...
01:36:03.740 --> 01:36:05.412
You are a natural for this line of work.
01:36:05.580 --> 01:36:07.090
I mean, you're smart,
you got the skill set,
01:36:07.100 --> 01:36:08.135
you're a people person
01:36:08.300 --> 01:36:11.576
and you already got a dope-ass code name,
"The Golden Jet!" What?
01:36:11.740 --> 01:36:13.650
But in the meantime,
we gotta get those encryption codes
01:36:13.660 --> 01:36:15.580
over to Harris right away
or we're gonna be late.
01:36:15.740 --> 01:36:18.095
What are you talking about? Late for what?
01:36:20.100 --> 01:36:25.015
The reunion, dude. What-what!
This shit's on!
01:36:26.980 --> 01:36:28.936
Bob. Damn it.
01:36:52.460 --> 01:36:53.460
Bob!
01:36:53.620 --> 01:36:54.620
One more thing.
01:36:54.780 --> 01:36:56.380
Thanks for securing the satellite codes.
01:36:56.540 --> 01:36:58.053
You really saved my ass.
01:36:58.220 --> 01:36:59.289
Your country thanks you.
01:36:59.900 --> 01:37:00.900
Just doing my job.
01:37:00.940 --> 01:37:03.818
I'm really sorry about your hand.
I hope you know that wasn't personal.
01:37:03.980 --> 01:37:05.700
Oh, no hard feelings at all, Pam.
01:37:06.100 --> 01:37:07.579
Besides, everybody makes mistakes.
01:37:07.780 --> 01:37:09.771
Calvin, here, thought
you were The Black Badger.
01:37:11.740 --> 01:37:12.980
I don't... No, I don't think...
01:37:13.020 --> 01:37:15.530
When we were in the plane,
you said, "Hey, Harris is the Black..."
01:37:15.540 --> 01:37:17.420
I think you should... Maybe I...
01:37:17.700 --> 01:37:20.453
Mr. Joyner, it was a pleasure
working with you.
01:37:20.620 --> 01:37:23.339
If you ever want a career change,
you give me a call.
01:37:24.060 --> 01:37:26.410
If I were to give you a call,
how would I get in touch with you?
01:37:26.420 --> 01:37:28.251
Just pick up any phone in your house.
01:37:28.420 --> 01:37:29.535
They're all bugged.
01:37:31.220 --> 01:37:32.938
You're crazy. Hey, you're crazy!
01:37:33.500 --> 01:37:35.411
That's a good one.
01:37:35.580 --> 01:37:38.014
Calvin! I got your text
and came right over.
01:37:38.180 --> 01:37:41.297
Where the hell have you been?
Why did you get out of a helicopter?
01:37:41.740 --> 01:37:43.298
Hey, uh, Maggie.
01:37:43.460 --> 01:37:44.575
Uh, hi!
01:37:45.020 --> 01:37:46.612
Babe, why is Dr. Dan with you?
01:37:47.020 --> 01:37:48.055
Well... Uh...
01:37:48.420 --> 01:37:49.773
That's not Dr. Dan.
01:37:49.940 --> 01:37:52.215
Allow me to properly introduce myself.
01:37:52.380 --> 01:37:53.529
My name is Bob Stone,
01:37:54.100 --> 01:37:56.773
the artist formerly known as
Robbie Wheirdicht.
01:37:56.940 --> 01:37:57.975
I work for the CIA.
01:37:58.140 --> 01:38:00.290
I roped your husband
into helping me track down a traitor,
01:38:00.300 --> 01:38:03.098
who was gonna sell
military state secrets to a terrorist.
01:38:03.260 --> 01:38:04.818
We did all that, we stopped them,
01:38:04.980 --> 01:38:07.096
we saved the free world, and here we are.
01:38:08.940 --> 01:38:10.293
What the hell is going on?
01:38:10.460 --> 01:38:12.098
Okay, listen, listen.
01:38:12.300 --> 01:38:14.291
I've been a fool. All right?
01:38:14.460 --> 01:38:16.451
I thought that my life was a failure.
01:38:16.620 --> 01:38:18.929
I thought that it wasn't special.
But it is special.
01:38:19.140 --> 01:38:20.971
It's special because I have you in it.
01:38:21.140 --> 01:38:24.291
You are my world.
You are what makes me special!
01:38:24.860 --> 01:38:27.010
You're everything to me, Mags.
01:38:27.180 --> 01:38:28.454
I love you.
01:38:29.140 --> 01:38:30.289
I love you.
01:38:34.980 --> 01:38:35.980
Okay.
01:38:37.140 --> 01:38:38.971
Here come the waterworks.
01:38:39.140 --> 01:38:41.131
I promised myself I wouldn't do this.
01:38:43.820 --> 01:38:45.651
- Come on, come on.
- Okay.
01:38:48.620 --> 01:38:50.338
- That's Robbie Wheirdicht?
- Yeah.
01:39:12.700 --> 01:39:13.894
- Hi, Brian.
- Hi, Gail.
01:39:14.060 --> 01:39:16.176
Guys, this isn't a good idea.
You know what?
01:39:16.340 --> 01:39:18.649
I'll just meet you later.
I shouldn't have come.
01:39:18.820 --> 01:39:19.820
Wait, wait, wait.
01:39:19.980 --> 01:39:23.017
Bob, calm down, okay? Listen to me.
01:39:23.180 --> 01:39:25.690
Tonight is not gonna be
how high school was for you 20 years ago.
01:39:25.700 --> 01:39:26.894
I promise.
01:39:27.060 --> 01:39:29.528
Attention, por favor.
01:39:29.740 --> 01:39:30.889
And now,
01:39:31.060 --> 01:39:33.699
for the moment
you've all been waiting for,
01:39:33.860 --> 01:39:38.411
tonight's vote for the reunion
homecoming king and queen!
01:39:38.580 --> 01:39:40.252
We'll announce the queen in one moment.
01:39:40.420 --> 01:39:42.854
But first, without further ado...
01:39:43.380 --> 01:39:45.211
The new homecoming king
01:39:45.380 --> 01:39:49.055
for the Central High School Centaurs,
Class of 1996 is...
01:39:49.380 --> 01:39:50.574
I really gotta pee, Jet.
01:39:50.740 --> 01:39:52.219
Bob Stone!
01:39:54.740 --> 01:39:56.298
Do we have a Bob Stone?
01:39:56.460 --> 01:39:58.769
Here he is, Bob Stone, huh!
01:39:59.500 --> 01:40:00.660
Yeah!
01:40:01.820 --> 01:40:03.776
Go on, get your rock-hard ass up there.
01:40:04.500 --> 01:40:05.500
For reals?
01:40:05.660 --> 01:40:07.810
For reals, for reals. Go ahead, man.
01:40:08.420 --> 01:40:09.420
Whoo!
01:40:09.660 --> 01:40:11.173
You did it, big guy!
01:40:17.180 --> 01:40:20.252
How did Bob Stone win homecoming king?
01:40:20.540 --> 01:40:22.815
I hacked into the votes on the flight in.
01:40:23.020 --> 01:40:25.978
Calvin Joyner, forensic accountant,
at your service.
01:40:27.340 --> 01:40:29.649
I had no idea you could do that.
01:40:30.420 --> 01:40:33.537
There's a lot of things
that you don't know about me, Maggie.
01:40:34.140 --> 01:40:35.300
No, scratch that I said that.
01:40:35.460 --> 01:40:37.170
It was supposed to
come out cool. It didn't.
01:40:37.180 --> 01:40:38.570
It was something I thought of,
it was like a...
01:40:38.580 --> 01:40:39.615
Forget it.
01:40:41.020 --> 01:40:42.851
Well, well, let's hear it for him!
01:40:43.020 --> 01:40:44.499
Fat Robbie made good.
01:40:44.660 --> 01:40:47.936
King Robbie Weird Dick, our naked mascot.
01:40:48.580 --> 01:40:50.290
Why don't you just
get out of the way, Trevor?
01:40:50.300 --> 01:40:51.619
Or what, Golden Jet?
01:40:51.780 --> 01:40:53.170
You're gonna hop up here
and punch me in the belt?
01:40:53.180 --> 01:40:54.295
Simmer down, Ant-Man.
01:40:54.460 --> 01:40:56.690
- You know what? That's it. That's it.
- It's okay.
01:40:56.860 --> 01:40:58.050
- It's all right.
- No, I've had it!
01:40:58.060 --> 01:40:59.652
- I got it, Jet. It's okay.
- It's okay.
01:40:59.820 --> 01:41:00.935
I'll handle it.
01:41:01.220 --> 01:41:05.133
Whoa, whoa! Hang on. I'm not buying
this whole transformation
01:41:05.300 --> 01:41:06.892
from ugly duckling into swan.
01:41:07.100 --> 01:41:08.100
No one in here is.
01:41:08.260 --> 01:41:11.696
You can fly in, in a bunch of helicopters
and dress up in a thousand suits,
01:41:11.900 --> 01:41:15.495
but to everybody, including me,
you'll always just be the fat kid.
01:41:18.780 --> 01:41:20.500
I've been thinking
about this a lot, Trevor.
01:41:21.420 --> 01:41:23.012
And the only thing I want to say to you
01:41:23.660 --> 01:41:24.660
is I forgive you.
01:41:25.220 --> 01:41:27.734
You forgive me! Oh, boy! For what?
01:41:27.900 --> 01:41:29.413
For being rad as shit.
01:41:29.580 --> 01:41:30.774
Fuck you, fat boy.
01:41:30.980 --> 01:41:32.460
Still a scared little bitch.
01:41:36.700 --> 01:41:37.894
I don't like bullies.
01:41:41.700 --> 01:41:43.930
And the name is Bob Stone, bitch!
01:41:44.260 --> 01:41:45.260
Whoo-whoo!
01:41:45.900 --> 01:41:47.299
Come on, baby. Step over.
01:41:51.260 --> 01:41:52.409
Hi, everybody!
01:41:53.380 --> 01:41:56.850
Most of you knew me back in high school as
01:41:57.820 --> 01:41:59.299
Robbie Wheirdicht.
01:41:59.500 --> 01:42:01.411
- That's Robbie Wheirdicht?
- No way!
01:42:01.580 --> 01:42:03.616
I wore prescription pants every day.
01:42:05.700 --> 01:42:07.930
Twenty years ago, in this gym,
01:42:09.140 --> 01:42:11.096
I stood in front of you all
01:42:11.940 --> 01:42:13.055
naked
01:42:13.780 --> 01:42:15.179
and embarrassed.
01:42:16.140 --> 01:42:18.051
Some of you might remember that day.
01:42:19.260 --> 01:42:21.376
A lot of you probably even laughed.
01:42:22.380 --> 01:42:24.018
But that's okay.
01:42:25.140 --> 01:42:27.734
Tonight's gonna be different because
01:42:27.900 --> 01:42:30.972
my best friend is here with me.
01:42:33.140 --> 01:42:38.294
And he taught me what it means
to be the hero of your own story.
01:42:41.060 --> 01:42:42.460
Would you hold this for me, please?
01:42:44.140 --> 01:42:46.051
Being the hero of your own story
01:42:46.220 --> 01:42:50.577
isn't about stopping bad guys
or climbing mountains.
01:42:50.740 --> 01:42:53.857
It's about overcoming bullies
in your life,
01:42:54.020 --> 01:42:56.932
whatever or whomever they may be.
01:42:57.900 --> 01:43:00.573
It's about putting it all out there
01:43:01.260 --> 01:43:02.295
for everyone
01:43:03.660 --> 01:43:04.809
to see.
01:43:05.660 --> 01:43:07.491
And it's realizing that, in life,
01:43:07.660 --> 01:43:10.015
the most important thing that you can be
01:43:11.140 --> 01:43:12.209
is yourself.
01:43:12.980 --> 01:43:17.292
So, Central High, Class of 1996,
01:43:18.260 --> 01:43:21.138
this is me, Robbie Wheirdicht.
01:43:32.420 --> 01:43:35.014
Oh, my God! Bob just went commando!
01:43:36.860 --> 01:43:38.452
Yes! Yes!
01:43:42.900 --> 01:43:44.492
Way to go, Bob!
01:43:45.380 --> 01:43:46.608
Be you!
01:43:47.140 --> 01:43:49.210
Robbie!
Robbie! Robbie!
01:43:49.380 --> 01:43:52.372
Robbie! Robbie! Robbie!
01:43:57.900 --> 01:43:59.049
Hey, man!
01:43:59.220 --> 01:44:01.415
Dude, this is amazing!
I'm so happy for you!
01:44:01.580 --> 01:44:03.298
Thank you, Jet! I feel so free!
01:44:03.820 --> 01:44:04.855
- Come here.
- No, no, no.
01:44:05.020 --> 01:44:06.772
Your junk is out.
01:44:07.140 --> 01:44:09.700
- Oh. Sorry, Jet.
- Excuse me.
01:44:12.140 --> 01:44:13.493
Hi, Robbie.
01:44:14.580 --> 01:44:16.650
- You probably don't remember me.
- Darla.
01:44:17.900 --> 01:44:19.936
- Is that Darla McGuckian?
- Yeah.
01:44:20.100 --> 01:44:22.375
Wow! She looks great!
01:44:22.740 --> 01:44:24.140
Didn't she used to have a lazy eye?
01:44:24.300 --> 01:44:25.619
- Two of them.
- Wow.
01:44:25.780 --> 01:44:27.850
I can't believe you remember me.
01:44:28.020 --> 01:44:29.499
Remember you?
01:44:29.660 --> 01:44:31.218
How could I forget you?
01:44:31.900 --> 01:44:35.688
You still have the same sweet smile,
the same sweet face.
01:44:36.260 --> 01:44:39.093
But your hair's changed.
You used to wear it curlier.
01:44:39.260 --> 01:44:40.488
I like it though.
01:44:40.940 --> 01:44:42.578
You haven't changed at all.
01:44:42.780 --> 01:44:44.293
Oh, I don't know.
01:44:50.420 --> 01:44:52.251
You're still as beautiful as ever.
01:44:52.580 --> 01:44:53.580
Oh.
01:45:02.940 --> 01:45:04.658
- Yeah, Bob!
- Go, Bob!
01:45:05.660 --> 01:45:07.139
No, no, no.
01:45:14.380 --> 01:45:16.450
Oh, I got spinny.
01:45:16.660 --> 01:45:18.457
Super spinny.
01:45:21.060 --> 01:45:22.857
Yeah, that's nice.
01:45:23.540 --> 01:45:26.293
- Can I take you to get ice-cream...
- Yes.
01:45:27.140 --> 01:45:29.131
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
01:45:29.740 --> 01:45:32.732
Super lactose intolerant, but that's okay.
Let's roll the dice.
01:45:35.740 --> 01:45:36.740
That's my jam!
01:45:36.900 --> 01:45:37.940
Go show them what you got.
01:45:38.140 --> 01:45:39.971
- All right, Darla.
- Okay.
01:45:40.300 --> 01:45:42.291
Darla, hi. Calvin.
01:45:42.500 --> 01:45:44.138
Hi, Colin. Nice to meet you.
01:45:44.740 --> 01:45:46.651
- Calvin.
- And Maggie.
01:45:46.820 --> 01:45:48.492
Maggie, hi!
01:45:48.660 --> 01:45:50.969
Hi. You look so good.
01:45:51.180 --> 01:45:53.489
- My gosh, you look the same.
- You do too.
01:45:53.660 --> 01:45:54.660
Oh, I don't know.
01:45:54.820 --> 01:45:56.936
You probably remember me
as The Golden Jet.
01:45:57.140 --> 01:45:59.734
Your name's Golden Jeff? Hi, Jeff.
01:46:00.500 --> 01:46:02.172
It's okay. Good to see you.
01:46:05.580 --> 01:46:08.014
- Good going, Bob!
- Come on, Bob!
01:46:23.740 --> 01:46:25.253
- All right.
- Good luck!
01:46:25.460 --> 01:46:26.688
- Love you.
- I love you.
01:46:26.860 --> 01:46:28.737
I love you, too, little Golden Jet!
01:46:31.420 --> 01:46:32.420
Mmm...
01:46:32.580 --> 01:46:33.649
Okay. Uh...
01:46:34.740 --> 01:46:36.298
How long do you think he's been there?
01:46:37.060 --> 01:46:38.857
Hmm, probably since last night.
01:46:39.460 --> 01:46:40.900
All right, babe, I'll see you later.
01:46:41.060 --> 01:46:42.778
Have fun with your friend!
01:46:48.380 --> 01:46:49.380
Who, me?
01:46:49.540 --> 01:46:50.814
Yes, you.
01:47:00.020 --> 01:47:01.339
Wow, Jet!
01:47:01.540 --> 01:47:03.212
You look amazing!
01:47:03.420 --> 01:47:05.172
- Do you think?
- Oh, what? Yes!
01:47:05.380 --> 01:47:07.211
I just didn't know
the kind of look to go for
01:47:07.420 --> 01:47:08.570
on my first day at the agency.
01:47:08.580 --> 01:47:10.616
You look like a black Will Smith,
or something.
01:47:10.820 --> 01:47:12.500
Okay, I'm not sure
if that's racist or not,
01:47:12.660 --> 01:47:13.850
but I'll take it as a compliment.
01:47:13.860 --> 01:47:15.259
All right, cool. Yeah, come on!
01:47:15.420 --> 01:47:16.569
Okay.
01:47:17.220 --> 01:47:18.414
All right. Don't be nervous.
01:47:18.580 --> 01:47:20.420
You are gonna do great.
They're gonna love you!
01:47:20.500 --> 01:47:21.899
Oh, Jet, Jet, Jet!
01:47:22.100 --> 01:47:23.220
Um, before we go, man, uh...
01:47:24.660 --> 01:47:25.775
I got a surprise for you.
01:47:27.020 --> 01:47:28.931
Okay. What's the surprise?
01:47:29.100 --> 01:47:31.739
Well, you gotta close your eyes first.
01:47:33.420 --> 01:47:34.569
Eyes are closed.
01:47:34.780 --> 01:47:35.780
No peeking.
01:47:41.260 --> 01:47:42.409
Open your eyes.
01:47:46.740 --> 01:47:49.095
Is that my... Is that my jacket?
01:47:49.260 --> 01:47:50.295
Yes!
01:47:50.460 --> 01:47:52.451
- Bob, is that my jacket?
- Yes!
01:47:52.620 --> 01:47:54.053
- No, wait a minute.
- Yes!
01:47:54.260 --> 01:47:55.932
Oh, my God!
01:47:56.300 --> 01:47:57.570
Dude, where'd you get this from?
01:47:57.580 --> 01:48:01.209
Well, I sleep in it most nights,
but it's clean now, totally good. Yeah!
01:48:01.380 --> 01:48:03.974
Man! You are the man! Yes!
01:48:04.140 --> 01:48:07.018
- Family hug! What?
- Ooh. Okay.
01:48:09.100 --> 01:48:10.215
All right, let's go!
01:48:10.380 --> 01:48:11.699
- Okay.
- All right.
01:48:26.100 --> 01:48:28.056
You still ride?
01:48:28.580 --> 01:48:30.810
Cut! The fire department's here.
01:48:31.100 --> 01:48:33.489
All right. That's our cue, guys!
01:48:34.420 --> 01:48:36.300
Here we are
shooting Central Intelligence.
01:48:36.340 --> 01:48:38.251
They shut us down.
The fire trucks are out here.
01:48:38.420 --> 01:48:40.250
- Shut the fuck up!
- Will you get the fuck out of my video?
01:48:40.260 --> 01:48:41.410
I'mma slap the dogshit out of you.
01:48:41.420 --> 01:48:42.570
Why do you do your video behind me?
01:48:42.580 --> 01:48:43.930
- I'm trying to do my video!
- This is my video!
01:48:43.940 --> 01:48:45.570
- You're in my fucking video!
- I'm pissed off.
01:48:45.580 --> 01:48:47.210
Watch your mouth,
I'll slap the shit out of you.
01:48:47.220 --> 01:48:48.220
Fuck you!
01:48:49.180 --> 01:48:51.694
Okay. You have it your way.
01:48:52.660 --> 01:48:54.651
You leave me no choice.
01:48:55.940 --> 01:48:56.940
Pam...
01:48:58.260 --> 01:48:59.260
Tickler! Tickler!
01:48:59.420 --> 01:49:01.934
Where are the codes? Where are the codes?
01:49:02.940 --> 01:49:04.419
It's just nice.
01:49:06.100 --> 01:49:08.660
In here and it's kind of all...
01:49:10.180 --> 01:49:11.579
- Oh, my God.
- Sorry.
01:49:16.180 --> 01:49:17.533
- Can you do both?
- Yeah.
01:49:17.900 --> 01:49:19.015
Oh, my God!
01:49:22.260 --> 01:49:24.057
It's called "soul gazing."
01:49:24.220 --> 01:49:27.769
Stare into my soul
and I'll stare into yours.
01:49:27.980 --> 01:49:29.420
- Come in. Shh.
- You're not my wife!
01:49:29.580 --> 01:49:30.979
Oh, that's it.
01:49:32.860 --> 01:49:34.259
- Bob, I'm gonna...
- Shh.
01:49:35.380 --> 01:49:37.140
I promise you'll never...
01:49:38.060 --> 01:49:39.732
Let's keep on, keep on.
01:49:39.900 --> 01:49:41.300
Okay, for real this time.
01:49:42.060 --> 01:49:44.051
It's for real.
This is for real, guys, yeah.
01:49:44.580 --> 01:49:45.695
- That's it!
- Oh.
01:49:45.860 --> 01:49:47.373
One more. Come on.
01:49:47.580 --> 01:49:48.850
- I can't do this, I'm not...
- Shh.
01:49:48.860 --> 01:49:51.533
Oh, my God. I've fucking had it.
01:49:51.700 --> 01:49:52.850
Lock it! We're professionals.
01:49:52.860 --> 01:49:54.780
- This is what we do. You ready?
- Come on, baby!
01:49:54.820 --> 01:49:56.538
I'm gonna hit you. I told you!
01:49:56.700 --> 01:49:57.894
Fuck!
01:49:59.860 --> 01:50:00.860
Are you not a super tool?
01:50:01.020 --> 01:50:03.295
You're not even Robbie Wheirdicht.
You're Bob Stone!
01:50:04.020 --> 01:50:05.676
- I made that name up.
- So what?
01:50:05.700 --> 01:50:07.220
- It's not real.
- What does that mean?
01:50:07.340 --> 01:50:11.219
What, you think Mr. T and Sting
01:50:11.380 --> 01:50:12.608
and The Rock...
01:50:12.780 --> 01:50:14.259
You think those guys are real?
01:50:14.420 --> 01:50:17.412
That's a bunch of dumbass nicknames
by a bunch of dumbass people.
01:56:02.620 --> 01:56:03.894
Fanny!
01:56:03.918 --> 01:56:14.918
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