1
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‫۳۱۳ - Escape From New York

2
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‫- NewYork City

3
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‫dreary, gray, miserable.

4
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‫Or was that just me؟

5
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‫After a sordid affair
‫with my ex-boyfriend,

6
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‫and a break-up with my current one,

7
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‫it was time for a change of scenery.

8
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‫And I wasn't alone.

9
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‫You're going to LA without me!

10
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‫You went on your honeymoon
‫without us.

11
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‫I have pictures.

12
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‫While we planned our escape,

13
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‫Charlotte celebrated her return.

14
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‫she and Trey had just returned
‫from Bermuda.

15
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‫Here, Trey and I are playing golf.

16
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‫Do you think the studio
‫will send a limo to pick us up؟

17
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‫- No, I do not.
‫- They're making your column a film.

18
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‫It's a little company that's just
‫talking about optioning my columns.

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‫I know. I was just
‫practicing my LA spin.

20
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‫Here's one of Trey pretending to get
‫a hole in one. He loved that gag.

21
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‫Who wouldn't؟

22
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‫Did you notice
‫we're both wearing Bermuda shorts؟

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‫Bermudas in Bermuda.
‫You kids were crazy down there!

24
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‫I'd love to stay, but I've gotta
‫take my cat to the kennel.

25
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‫- Lovely.
‫- I gotta go too.

26
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‫- The car's picking us up at one.
‫- We'll be there.

27
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‫Welcome back, you old married lady.

28
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‫- Bye. Have fun.
‫- All right.

29
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‫- How are you؟
‫- Good. How are you؟

30
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‫Great.

31
00:02:21,623 --> 00:02:24,091
‫I told Aidan about the affair.
‫He broke up with me.

32
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‫- We never had sex on honeymoon.
‫- You win.

33
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‫shall we get more coffee or shall we
‫get guns and kill ourselves؟

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‫He couldn't get it up.

35
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‫We tried twice. It was so frustrating,
‫we started playing golf.

36
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‫After many days of golf, Charlotte's
‫handicap had gone down twelve.

37
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‫Trey's handicap had stayed the same.

38
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‫- Impotence is a common problem.
‫- Oh, God.

39
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‫Do you think he's impotent؟

40
00:02:54,623 --> 00:02:56,056
‫Well...

41
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‫My husband can't be impotent.
‫He's gorgeous.

42
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‫All right then. Glad you solved that.

43
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‫He was nervous about the wedding,
‫the honeymoon and the golf.

44
00:03:08,070 --> 00:03:12,666
‫- He played really badly one day.
‫- What do you want me to say؟

45
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‫- Let's change the subject.
‫- Right.

46
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‫- What happened with Aidan؟
‫- Nothing good.

47
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‫I only agreed to this trip to get
‫away from Aidan and the whole mess.

48
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‫Let's go to Barneys. I can't go
‫to Los Angeles without new shoes.

49
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‫No. You go, I'm gonna stay
‫and have another cup.

50
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‫- Just go. Have fun.
‫- All right.

51
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‫- Call me if you need me.
‫- OK.

52
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‫Later, three single New Yorkers
‫arrived in the City of Angels.

53
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‫I so needed this vacation.

54
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‫- You and me both, sister.
‫- Hooray for Hollywood!

55
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‫That's his job؟ To sit
‫in a fake fish tank in underwear؟

56
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‫- What do you think he's reading؟
‫- The want ads؟

57
00:04:23,445 --> 00:04:26,346
‫- There's a problem.
‫- Words I'm never fond of hearing.

58
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‫I have reservations for Jones
‫and Bradshaw, but not Hobbes.

59
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‫- That's just great.
‫- There should be three reservations.

60
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‫The production company requested
‫two rooms, and we're booked up.

61
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‫Fuck, fuck, fuck.

62
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‫she's from New York.

63
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‫I understand.
‫I'll have another room tomorrow.

64
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‫Until then, could you stay
‫with one of your friends؟

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‫- I'll stay with her.
‫- Don't complain about my smoking.

66
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‫They didn't request smoking rooms.

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‫- Excuse me؟
‫- You're on a non-smoking floor.

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‫Words I'm even less fond of hearing.

69
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‫Later, decked out
‫in our "New York goes to LA" finest,

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‫we were ready for a night on the town.

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‫- OK, I'm ready.
‫- Let's go.

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‫Back in the hotel bar, we realized

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‫the three-hour time difference made
‫us three hours late for cocktail hour.

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‫- Welcome to LA. I'm Garth.
‫- You know I'm from out of town؟

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‫If you lived here,
‫we would have met by now.

76
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‫What do you do when you're not
‫a one-man welcome wagon؟

77
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‫- I'm a dildo model.
‫- You wouldn't tease a girl؟

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‫I'm the number two selling model
‫in the Us. Number one in Canada.

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‫- My dick's bigger in Canada.
‫- You gotta love that metric system.

80
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‫I gotta run.

81
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‫Where؟
‫A dildo emergency؟

82
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‫You think I'm yanking your chain,
‫but I'm not.

83
00:06:05,914 --> 00:06:09,873
‫We're having a promotional party
‫at Hustler store,

84
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‫celebrating the launch
‫of a new line of toys and accessories.

85
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‫Here's an invitation. come.

86
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‫I always do.

87
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‫As samantha said goodbye
‫to Mr. Dildo,

88
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‫Miranda said hello to Mr. Dique.
‫Mr. Jason Dique.

89
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‫It's spelled D-I-Q-U-E. And yes,
‫I've thought about changing it.

90
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‫It would be worse
‫if your first name was Little.

91
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‫What do you do؟

92
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‫- I'm a lawyer.
‫- I thought I had it bad.

93
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‫- No.
‫- No, it's great. You look like a lawyer.

94
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‫You look like a dick.

95
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‫It is so great
‫to talk to a smart and funny woman.

96
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‫What was I saying؟

97
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‫- It's great to talk to a smart woman.
‫- Yeah.

98
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‫Could you excuse me for a second؟

99
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‫I was having drinks with the most
‫- feared creature in Los Angeles

100
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‫the junior development executive.

101
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‫I love your columns.
‫They're so relatable.

102
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‫- Thanks. I try.
‫- It's like I'm you.

103
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‫I will be when I turn ۳۰.

104
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‫You! You are such a loser.
‫You're a loser.

105
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‫You are. Loser.

106
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‫I'm kidding.

107
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‫What a loser. Last year,
‫he pitched me nothing but shit ۲۴-۷.

108
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‫- That's a lot of shit.
‫- No shit.

109
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‫seriously, I am you.

110
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‫You've had your heart broken,
‫I've had my heart broken.

111
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‫If I have,
‫that means other girls have.

112
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‫If other girls have,
‫that means big opening weekend.

113
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‫Not x-Men big, but chick flick big.

114
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‫The guy who came up with that term
‫should have his balls cut off.

115
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‫- Isn't that a little severe؟
‫- I hope I don't sound like an asshole.

116
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‫- I love your shoes.
‫- Oh, thanks.

117
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‫Big news.
‫I have a star interested. Guess who.

118
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‫- Drew Barrymore؟
‫- No. Guess.

119
00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:20,673
‫- I'm not good with celebrity names.
‫- Guess.

120
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‫- That Jennifer Love something girl؟
‫- No. Guess.

121
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‫I'm done guessing.

122
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‫Matthew McConaughey.

123
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‫- Why would he wanna be involved؟
‫- Because he's smart.

124
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‫He's a producer as well,
‫and he took to the material.

125
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‫We're meeting him tomorrow at ۳:۰۰.

126
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‫Hot, hotty, hot.
‫What do you think؟

127
00:08:52,948 --> 00:08:58,887
‫In New York, Charlotte was dealing
‫with a bed that was cold, coldy, cold.

128
00:08:59,054 --> 00:09:03,423
‫- Trey, come to bed. It's late.
‫- In a minute.

129
00:09:03,592 --> 00:09:06,425
‫I won't sleep until I've entered
‫all these wedding gifts.

130
00:09:06,595 --> 00:09:11,259
‫sleep was the last thing Charlotte
‫hoped Trey would do in bed.

131
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‫I've listed the gifts,
‫who it's from, and the addresses.

132
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‫Make it a breeze when you
‫send out the thank-you notes.

133
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‫I can't wait till this wedding nonsense
‫is behind us.

134
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‫Then we can relax
‫and just be a regular man and wife.

135
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‫Wait.

136
00:09:29,584 --> 00:09:35,045
‫Jamesons were crystal candlesticks
‫and sullivans were silver؟

137
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‫Hello there.

138
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‫You know, since we've been home,

139
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‫I've been feeling
‫so much more relaxed, haven't you؟

140
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‫You've deleted Mr. and Mrs. Handy
‫and their steuben glass bowl. Wait.

141
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‫Trey...

142
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‫We have a problem.

143
00:09:58,313 --> 00:09:59,837
‫I know.

144
00:10:00,015 --> 00:10:04,452
‫We've got two serving platters.
‫We only registered for one.

145
00:10:05,487 --> 00:10:08,581
‫Charlotte walked back
‫to her big park Avenue bed,

146
00:10:08,757 --> 00:10:12,784
‫wishing she had remembered
‫to register for a sex life.

147
00:10:12,961 --> 00:10:16,192
‫When visiting LA,
‫- there are two things you must do

148
00:10:16,431 --> 00:10:18,490
‫one is rent a fabulous car,

149
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:20,862
‫two is learn how to drive it.

150
00:10:21,036 --> 00:10:25,939
‫- You said you could drive a stick.
‫- I did a few times in a parking lot.

151
00:10:26,141 --> 00:10:28,473
‫Why didn't you get an automatic؟

152
00:10:28,643 --> 00:10:31,077
‫I love this car.
‫It goes with my outfit.

153
00:10:31,246 --> 00:10:35,478
‫I believed that cars are to Los Angeles
‫what handbags are to New York.

154
00:10:37,152 --> 00:10:40,883
‫What's with this hill؟
‫LA is supposed to be flat.

155
00:10:41,056 --> 00:10:43,354
‫- They mean culturally.
‫- The hotel's there.

156
00:10:43,525 --> 00:10:46,016
‫To get there
‫we have to go up this hill.

157
00:10:51,933 --> 00:10:54,367
‫That's enough. stop.

158
00:10:56,671 --> 00:11:01,301
‫I'm not going to die in this tin can.
‫I have a date with a dildo.

159
00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:06,103
‫- I'm sorry.
‫- OK. Come on, we're gonna do it.

160
00:11:10,752 --> 00:11:12,447
‫Yeah, baby.

161
00:11:16,524 --> 00:11:19,687
‫A little later,
‫freshly showered and freaked out,

162
00:11:19,895 --> 00:11:23,991
‫I drove to the studio for my meeting
‫with Matthew McConaughey.

163
00:11:42,450 --> 00:11:44,611
‫- Can I help you؟
‫- Building five؟

164
00:11:44,786 --> 00:11:47,914
‫There aren't any hills in there,
‫are there؟

165
00:11:48,123 --> 00:11:51,251
‫- Go down there, make a left.
‫- Thank you.

166
00:11:58,099 --> 00:12:02,126
‫I do. I like all of it.
‫Your writing is brilliant.

167
00:12:02,871 --> 00:12:06,329
‫I really do.
‫It's sharp, edgy, brutal at times.

168
00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:09,500
‫It's always a little juicy.
‫It's very New York.

169
00:12:09,711 --> 00:12:12,908
‫I do like it. I really do.

170
00:12:13,081 --> 00:12:18,951
‫My God. Thank you,
‫Matthew McConaughey.

171
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,111
‫You're welcome,
‫Carrie Bradshaw.

172
00:12:22,157 --> 00:12:24,489
‫- Here's what I've been thinking about

173
00:12:24,659 --> 00:12:29,494
‫how do we get your column
‫to translate to the silver screen؟

174
00:12:29,664 --> 00:12:31,495
‫I think I've got the answer.

175
00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:35,659
‫What if we flush out
‫the central relationship؟

176
00:12:37,772 --> 00:12:42,505
‫- OK. The central relationship.
‫- Carrie and Mr. Big.

177
00:12:42,677 --> 00:12:45,168
‫I don't see why
‫they couldn't make it work.

178
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:48,009
‫I couldn't believe it.
‫I flew ۳,۰۰۰ miles

179
00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:52,347
‫to have Matthew McConaughey ask
‫what I've asked myself for years؟

180
00:12:52,587 --> 00:12:55,420
‫Look at him.
‫He is such a great guy.

181
00:12:55,623 --> 00:12:59,115
‫I don't know anybody
‫any cooler than Mr. Big.

182
00:12:59,294 --> 00:13:04,493
‫The only question is,
‫"What the fuck is Carrie's problem؟"

183
00:13:04,666 --> 00:13:06,759
‫What do you think؟

184
00:13:06,935 --> 00:13:12,032
‫Well...
‫I don't particularly think

185
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,868
‫it was just her problem.

186
00:13:16,077 --> 00:13:19,979
‫He had some commitment issues.

187
00:13:20,148 --> 00:13:23,049
‫That's bullshit, Carrie,
‫and you know it.

188
00:13:25,053 --> 00:13:26,315
‫Cut.

189
00:13:26,488 --> 00:13:28,513
‫Kidding. I'm acting.

190
00:13:30,291 --> 00:13:33,522
‫That's what I do.
‫see what I mean؟

191
00:13:33,728 --> 00:13:36,959
‫That's why I wanna develop
‫the story with you.

192
00:13:37,132 --> 00:13:38,394
‫I'm Mr. Big.

193
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:42,531
‫Oh, OK.
‫Well. Yeah. That's...

194
00:13:42,704 --> 00:13:45,901
‫Excellent. You're in.
‫You know what else؟

195
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:49,673
‫I really wanna fuck you, baby.

196
00:13:50,845 --> 00:13:55,873
‫- Are you acting now؟
‫- I'm Big, OK؟ You be Carrie.

197
00:13:56,084 --> 00:13:58,143
‫- I am Carrie.
‫- We're animals.

198
00:13:58,319 --> 00:14:04,280
‫Man, woman, walking the earth.
‫We're made of head, heart and loins.

199
00:14:04,459 --> 00:14:06,757
‫We're talking about using them,
‫am I right؟

200
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:11,524
‫I have...

201
00:14:11,733 --> 00:14:16,363
‫The girl said that we would
‫talk about the columns today.

202
00:14:16,604 --> 00:14:19,698
‫Let's get down to the underbelly
‫of these two characters.

203
00:14:19,874 --> 00:14:23,571
‫Let's figure out
‫why they're so fucked up.

204
00:14:23,745 --> 00:14:27,181
‫Well, I have a facial at four.

205
00:14:27,415 --> 00:14:31,852
‫I love you. I don't understand
‫why we can't be together.

206
00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:35,456
‫- Do you mind if I smoke؟
‫- I don't think you should.

207
00:14:35,623 --> 00:14:38,922
‫- What؟
‫- I don't think Carrie should smoke.

208
00:14:40,095 --> 00:14:42,359
‫That's all right.

209
00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:45,658
‫Or in my office. OK؟

210
00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:48,462
‫After I left the meeting
‫I took a wrong turn

211
00:14:48,636 --> 00:14:52,629
‫and somehow found myself
‫- right back where I had started

212
00:14:52,807 --> 00:14:56,800
‫back in New York,
‫back wondering about Big.

213
00:14:57,645 --> 00:14:59,909
‫I had come to LA for a vacation,

214
00:15:00,081 --> 00:15:03,881
‫hoping to get away from Big, Aidan,
‫and most of all myself.

215
00:15:04,052 --> 00:15:08,955
‫sitting on the fake set,
‫all my issues felt more real than ever.

216
00:15:09,124 --> 00:15:14,289
‫I couldn't help but wonder - no matter
‫how far you travel or run from it,

217
00:15:14,462 --> 00:15:16,896
‫can you ever really escape your past؟

218
00:15:18,399 --> 00:15:21,300
‫Ma'am؟ No smoking.

219
00:15:21,469 --> 00:15:23,232
‫I'm outside.

220
00:15:23,404 --> 00:15:26,737
‫And it's New York.

221
00:15:37,118 --> 00:15:41,578
‫In New York, the release of a new
‫book is cause for celebration.

222
00:15:41,756 --> 00:15:44,589
‫Here in LA, a new line
‫of sex toys will do the trick.

223
00:15:44,759 --> 00:15:47,626
‫- Isn't this fun؟
‫- The answer would be no.

224
00:15:47,795 --> 00:15:51,424
‫- We want to go.
‫- What؟ We can't leave yet.

225
00:15:51,599 --> 00:15:55,433
‫- They haven't cut the cock.
‫- Do you think it's cream-filled؟

226
00:15:55,603 --> 00:15:58,595
‫I am exhausted
‫from McConaughey mania.

227
00:15:58,773 --> 00:16:02,675
‫I wanna get into bed, go to sleep
‫and pretend this day never happened.

228
00:16:02,844 --> 00:16:07,611
‫stay! Garth is gonna autograph
‫some dildos. He's a big seller.

229
00:16:07,782 --> 00:16:11,479
‫- He's the John Grisham of penises.
‫- I'm gonna get in line.

230
00:16:14,722 --> 00:16:18,351
‫I can't believe how open
‫and "Hi, have sex" this place is.

231
00:16:18,526 --> 00:16:21,359
‫In New York
‫sex is bottom shelf, paper bag.

232
00:16:21,596 --> 00:16:24,030
‫Exactly. It's all hidden, like me.

233
00:16:24,199 --> 00:16:27,635
‫- What do you mean؟
‫- Last night I talked to this cute guy.

234
00:16:27,802 --> 00:16:31,465
‫We were having a great time. Then
‫a woman in a tight dress walked by,

235
00:16:31,639 --> 00:16:34,301
‫- with big breasts
‫just boom, here they are.

236
00:16:34,475 --> 00:16:37,706
‫- He totally went for it.
‫- Right.

237
00:16:37,879 --> 00:16:42,782
‫I wanted to have sex but it was hidden
‫in my witty banter and my little looks.

238
00:16:42,951 --> 00:16:47,615
‫- she put it out there and got the guy.
‫- But how long did she have him؟

239
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,723
‫Who cares؟
‫I wanna get laid.

240
00:16:49,958 --> 00:16:53,985
‫I admire women who can put it
‫out there where you can see it.

241
00:16:54,162 --> 00:16:56,289
‫Like her.

242
00:16:58,066 --> 00:17:01,399
‫- You want to dress like her؟
‫- You know what I mean.

243
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:04,197
‫Do you think there's any chance
‫she's not up for sex؟

244
00:17:04,372 --> 00:17:08,240
‫No, because she's a hooker.

245
00:17:08,443 --> 00:17:12,641
‫- Hi. Have we met؟
‫- No.

246
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:16,011
‫I was telling my friend how much
‫I admire what you're wearing.

247
00:17:16,684 --> 00:17:17,673
‫Thank you.

248
00:17:17,852 --> 00:17:22,551
‫- Are you in the porn industry؟
‫- God, no. I'm a lawyer for Disney.

249
00:17:23,024 --> 00:17:24,082
‫see؟

250
00:17:24,259 --> 00:17:27,922
‫- There you go. Enjoy.
‫- Thank you so much.

251
00:17:28,429 --> 00:17:30,329
‫You made it.

252
00:17:33,935 --> 00:17:37,234
‫My opinion of Canadian consumers
‫just went up a notch.

253
00:17:37,405 --> 00:17:40,101
‫sign it, please.

254
00:17:40,275 --> 00:17:42,971
‫- How shall I sign it؟
‫- I don't know.

255
00:17:43,144 --> 00:17:47,979
‫To samantha, who's staying
‫at the standard, room ۳۲۴.

256
00:17:48,149 --> 00:17:51,585
‫- perfect. I'll deliver it personally.
‫- You're too kind.

257
00:17:53,588 --> 00:17:58,252
‫That night, samantha took home
‫the Deluxe Garth.

258
00:17:59,627 --> 00:18:03,222
‫Next door, I learned that not only
‫could I not escape my past,

259
00:18:03,398 --> 00:18:06,026
‫I couldn't escape my present.

260
00:18:10,605 --> 00:18:13,699
‫What is it about California air؟
‫It makes me sleep so well.

261
00:18:14,776 --> 00:18:18,337
‫It's not the air. Your headboard
‫knocked you unconscious.

262
00:18:18,513 --> 00:18:20,413
‫- You heard us؟
‫- I didn't.

263
00:18:20,581 --> 00:18:23,243
‫- No, Ms snore, you wouldn't.
‫- Are you OK؟

264
00:18:23,418 --> 00:18:28,117
‫I'm cranky. I have another meeting
‫with McConaughey and his partners

265
00:18:28,289 --> 00:18:32,316
‫to brainstorm what goes wrong
‫with "Carrie" and her relationships.

266
00:18:32,527 --> 00:18:33,960
‫Don't go.

267
00:18:34,128 --> 00:18:36,722
‫I have to.
‫I'm their little writer monkey.

268
00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:41,335
‫I've got something
‫to make you feel better.

269
00:18:42,403 --> 00:18:45,338
‫Dildos before ۱۰:۰۰am.
‫I'm all perked up.

270
00:18:45,506 --> 00:18:47,838
‫They're autographed.
‫One for each.

271
00:18:48,042 --> 00:18:51,273
‫My friend went to California,
‫and all I got was this lousy dildo.

272
00:18:51,446 --> 00:18:54,506
‫Could you put these back؟
‫people are staring.

273
00:18:54,682 --> 00:18:58,618
‫In LA no one cares if your egg whites
‫have a side of cock.

274
00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:01,288
‫Wow! Nobody needs this much.

275
00:19:01,456 --> 00:19:04,186
‫The average woman
‫is only five inches deep.

276
00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:06,520
‫Is that written on your placemat؟

277
00:19:06,694 --> 00:19:10,528
‫- The mark of a fine penis is width.
‫- Couldn't agree more.

278
00:19:10,698 --> 00:19:12,825
‫That's why you'll enjoy your presents.

279
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:17,130
‫Are you saying
‫that Garth has the perfect girth؟

280
00:19:17,372 --> 00:19:18,669
‫Exactly.

281
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:24,506
‫As much as I enjoy
‫the fine life-like craftsmanship,

282
00:19:24,679 --> 00:19:27,204
‫I'm going to leave mine with you.

283
00:19:27,382 --> 00:19:33,014
‫I'm holding on to mine. LA isn't
‫working out the way I had hoped.

284
00:19:33,187 --> 00:19:37,123
‫Meanwhile, back in New York and
‫still no closer to being in-put by Trey,

285
00:19:37,291 --> 00:19:40,454
‫Charlotte addressed thank you notes.

286
00:19:40,628 --> 00:19:46,362
‫Every time she licked a love stamp,
‫it made a mockery of her marriage.

287
00:19:52,607 --> 00:19:57,044
‫It's me. It's been days and nothing.
‫What if he really is impotent؟

288
00:19:57,211 --> 00:19:59,941
‫What kind of impotence
‫do you think it is؟

289
00:20:00,114 --> 00:20:04,517
‫- The kind that makes it soft.
‫- No, no. physical or emotional؟

290
00:20:04,685 --> 00:20:08,177
‫- I don't know.
‫- Have you asked him about it؟

291
00:20:08,356 --> 00:20:11,086
‫He's embarrassed.
‫He doesn't want to talk about it.

292
00:20:11,259 --> 00:20:17,061
‫Here's what to do - put a ring of paper
‫around his penis while he's asleep.

293
00:20:17,231 --> 00:20:20,598
‫- I sound like a perverted Nancy Drew.
‫- What does that do؟

294
00:20:20,768 --> 00:20:26,263
‫If it rips overnight, he is capable of an
‫erection. The problem is not physical.

295
00:20:26,441 --> 00:20:30,138
‫- This floor is non-smoking.
‫- I have an addiction, sir.

296
00:20:30,311 --> 00:20:34,304
‫- A ring of paper.
‫- Yup.

297
00:20:36,551 --> 00:20:41,818
‫That night, samantha invited Mr.
‫Dildo out for dim sum, and then some.

298
00:20:41,989 --> 00:20:46,722
‫Tell me more about yourself.
‫What are your interests؟

299
00:20:46,894 --> 00:20:49,886
‫- That's pretty obvious.
‫- I'm serious.

300
00:20:50,064 --> 00:20:54,501
‫Don't you wanna know
‫more about me, my interests؟

301
00:20:54,669 --> 00:20:58,730
‫- OK.
‫- I'm a poet.

302
00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:01,135
‫I've been published in journals...

303
00:21:02,109 --> 00:21:05,374
‫Garth wanted samantha to know
‫that he was more than just a sex toy.

304
00:21:05,546 --> 00:21:07,514
‫He had a soft side.

305
00:21:07,682 --> 00:21:10,344
‫Do you want to hear one؟

306
00:21:10,518 --> 00:21:14,318
‫Far away, Charlotte was dealing
‫with Trey's soft side as well.

307
00:21:14,489 --> 00:21:17,185
‫she was going to get some answers.

308
00:21:17,358 --> 00:21:20,885
‫she came to bed armed with love.

309
00:21:31,038 --> 00:21:34,166
‫she went to sleep hoping her male
‫had sufficient postage

310
00:21:34,342 --> 00:21:37,209
‫to deliver his package into her box.

311
00:21:37,378 --> 00:21:42,577
‫Back at the hotel, samantha
‫was waiting for a delivery of her own.

312
00:21:42,750 --> 00:21:44,547
‫Once again, the leaves bloomed forth

313
00:21:44,685 --> 00:21:48,485
‫some headed south,
‫some headed north

314
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:53,327
‫That's beautiful.
‫Come here.

315
00:21:54,529 --> 00:21:57,930
‫Blue as a baby bird

316
00:21:58,733 --> 00:22:04,672
‫Winged and aloft
‫My eyes search your eyes

317
00:22:04,839 --> 00:22:07,330
‫For something I've lost

318
00:22:09,076 --> 00:22:11,670
‫samantha, I was thinking.

319
00:22:13,047 --> 00:22:16,073
‫- You were؟
‫- We have this great connection.

320
00:22:16,250 --> 00:22:19,686
‫And I've done LA.
‫How about I move to New York؟

321
00:22:19,854 --> 00:22:22,948
‫I could pursue my two passions,
‫poetry and porn.

322
00:22:23,124 --> 00:22:25,922
‫- I...
‫- Wouldn't it be great؟

323
00:22:26,093 --> 00:22:28,288
‫We could keep seeing each other.

324
00:22:28,462 --> 00:22:30,521
‫Having a fling in LA is one thing,

325
00:22:30,698 --> 00:22:35,294
‫but introducing Mr. Dildo to everyone
‫at a gala at the Met was quite another.

326
00:22:35,469 --> 00:22:39,405
‫I don't think it would work. I know me.

327
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:44,100
‫I'm much too possessive a woman
‫to share your penis with the world.

328
00:22:44,278 --> 00:22:47,941
‫Just like that, samantha escaped
‫a life as Mrs. Dildo.

329
00:22:48,115 --> 00:22:51,346
‫she moved Garth
‫out of her present and into her past.

330
00:22:51,519 --> 00:22:54,215
‫But she took
‫the best part of him with her.

331
00:22:56,624 --> 00:23:00,025
‫I had finally found a place
‫to escape Miranda's snoring.

332
00:23:00,194 --> 00:23:04,290
‫The ghosts of my relationships past
‫weren't so easy to shake.

333
00:23:04,465 --> 00:23:08,629
‫I hadn't really moved on from Big
‫and Aidan. I'd just moved.

334
00:23:08,836 --> 00:23:10,861
‫Excuse me.

335
00:23:11,038 --> 00:23:13,029
‫I'll put it out, ok؟

336
00:23:13,207 --> 00:23:16,267
‫No, I was wondering
‫if I could bum one.

337
00:23:16,444 --> 00:23:19,277
‫sorry, it was my last one.

338
00:23:21,549 --> 00:23:24,347
‫Do you want some company؟

339
00:23:28,889 --> 00:23:32,916
‫- Are you sure you wanna be alone؟
‫- I am.

340
00:23:33,094 --> 00:23:36,393
‫As soon as I said it out loud,
‫I knew that that was what I wanted...

341
00:23:39,233 --> 00:23:41,201
‫and needed....

342
00:23:45,306 --> 00:23:49,606
‫Charlotte woke up as excited
‫as a little girl on Christmas morning.

343
00:23:49,777 --> 00:23:54,146
‫she couldn't wait to see
‫if Trey's package was unwrapped.

344
00:24:05,226 --> 00:24:07,558
‫Morning, morning, morning.

345
00:24:08,496 --> 00:24:11,556
‫Good morning.
‫What are you so excited about؟

346
00:24:11,732 --> 00:24:14,292
‫Nothing. I just love you.

347
00:24:15,636 --> 00:24:17,536
‫I love you, too.

348
00:24:17,705 --> 00:24:21,573
‫For the first time in weeks,
‫Charlotte felt relieved.

349
00:24:21,742 --> 00:24:25,735
‫Trey's problem wasn't physical.
‫Then she realized,

350
00:24:25,913 --> 00:24:30,543
‫if it wasn't physical, she couldn't
‫escape that it might be emotional.

351
00:24:30,718 --> 00:24:34,586
‫There was no easy
‫love stamp solution to fix that.

352
00:24:36,824 --> 00:24:39,452
‫I am totally digging this scene.

353
00:24:39,627 --> 00:24:42,994
‫It's so urban cowboy circa ۱۹۸۲.

354
00:24:43,164 --> 00:24:47,396
‫All the great places in LA and we're
‫at the saddle Ranch Chop House؟

355
00:24:47,568 --> 00:24:50,696
‫Don't complain, it's the closest bar
‫without a hill involved.

356
00:24:50,871 --> 00:24:52,998
‫This is what I'm talking about.
‫Look at her.

357
00:24:53,174 --> 00:24:56,473
‫she screams sex. It's so honest.

358
00:24:56,644 --> 00:25:01,672
‫- I wish I could be more like that.
‫- stop complaining. Do something.

359
00:25:05,820 --> 00:25:08,516
‫OK, which lovely lady
‫is gonna be next؟

360
00:25:08,689 --> 00:25:12,318
‫- I will.
‫- Miranda, no.

361
00:25:12,493 --> 00:25:14,358
‫- she will.
‫- No.

362
00:25:31,746 --> 00:25:34,078
‫Hold on.

363
00:25:36,851 --> 00:25:42,118
‫We weren't sure if it was the climate
‫or the five beers she drank,

364
00:25:42,289 --> 00:25:47,226
‫but as soon as she got on that bull,
‫Miranda escaped Miranda.

365
00:25:58,005 --> 00:26:01,873
‫Wow, I can see
‫she really did need a vacation.

366
00:26:06,046 --> 00:26:10,210
‫The next day,
‫as I pulled up to the studio, I realized,

367
00:26:10,384 --> 00:26:12,716
‫I was the one who held the key
‫to my escape.

368
00:26:12,887 --> 00:26:17,517
‫I could go in and have someone tell
‫me the mistakes I'd made in my past,

369
00:26:17,691 --> 00:26:21,752
‫or I could drive on
‫and figure them out myself.

370
00:26:27,268 --> 00:26:28,895
‫That's what I did.

371
00:26:29,103 --> 00:26:32,971
‫If I could master a stick shift,

372
00:26:33,140 --> 00:26:37,076
‫could a successful relationship
‫be that far behind؟