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‫۳۱۶ - Frenemies

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‫In a city where cynicism
‫is as prevalent as pashmina,

3
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‫there is nothing more hopeful
‫than getting ready for the first date.

4
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‫Will O'Connor
‫was a cute urban planner

5
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‫Miranda had met at Starbucks.

6
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‫He mistook her latte
‫for his double-caff

7
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‫and offered to make it up to her

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‫by buying her a drink that Saturday.

9
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‫Samantha preferred the saying
‫good night to the first date routine.

10
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‫His name was Sebastian Wise.

11
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‫For Sam, it was a very good night.

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‫Meanwhile, Trey and Charlotte

13
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‫were practicing their new routine.

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‫- All righty. Schooner's sails are up.
‫- Yes, I can feel it.

15
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‫All righty,
‫I'm bringing it into the harbor.

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‫Bring it in.

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‫All right. Here I come.

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‫Here I come.

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‫Honey؟

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‫The wind died. I'm sorry.

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‫After a week of the same routine,

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‫the only thing getting up
‫in their bed was Charlotte's libido.

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‫As for me, my routine
‫had become very routine.

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‫I was spending
‫almost every night working.

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‫My date is three hours late.

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‫I'm being stood up, right؟

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‫- Maybe he got lost.
‫- Carrie.

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‫Doesn't look good.

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‫And I'm wearing a new dress.
‫And I'm eating out of plastic.

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‫I'm sorry.

31
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‫The least he could do is
‫get to know me before he rejects me.

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‫Yeah, that's illegal dumping.

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‫It's crazy. This hasn't happened
‫to me since I'm ۲۷.

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‫I should know better. I thought I'd got
‫smarter about picking them now.

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‫I can't believe guys still stand girls up.

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‫I can't believe
‫I'm eating a frozen dinner.

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‫I'm such a cliche.
‫Do you wanna grab a drink؟

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‫I can't. I have to work.

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‫I agreed to teach
‫these stupid Learning Annex classes.

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‫They're calling it
‫"Bright Lights Date City".

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‫- I'm so embarrassed for you.
‫- They're paying ۳۰۰ bucks a pop.

42
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‫It's a seminar on where to meet men.
‫Apparently, I'm an expert.

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‫- Tell them to steer clear of Starbucks.
‫- Who would pay for this؟

44
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‫Now؟ Maybe me.

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‫OK, gotta go. This dress
‫is making a mockery of me.

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‫- I'm sorry, sweetie. Bye.
‫- Please. Bye.

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‫Stood up at ۲۷,
‫Miranda had done nothing.

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‫At ۳۴, she decided she wasn't going
‫to take this stand-up lying down.

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‫Will gave her the cold shoulder...
‫and his home number.

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‫- Hello؟
‫- Hi. Is Will there؟

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‫- Who's speaking, please؟
‫- Miranda Hobbes.

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‫Miranda, this is Will's mother.

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‫Well, Will's mother.

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‫I don't know howyou raised your son,
‫but he just stood me up for a date.

55
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‫Will died today.

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‫- They're starting to die on us.
‫- Oh, my God.

57
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‫- At least you weren't stood up.
‫- ۳۵ and they're dying.

58
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‫- We should give up now.
‫- It explains why they don't call back.

59
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‫- How did he...
‫- Heart attack at the gym.

60
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‫- This is why I don't work out.
‫- Do you wanna hear the worst part؟

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‫I felt so bad, I told his mother
‫I would go to the wake.

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‫- You don't even know him.
‫- And she never will.

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‫I'm far from being dead. I got us
‫reservations at Samba next week.

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‫- Fancy.
‫- I could only get us a four-top.

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‫Do you think
‫Trey would mind staying home؟

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‫No. He doesn't seem up
‫for much these days.

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‫Charlotte, is everything OK؟

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‫We've been trying to...

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‫Fuck؟

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‫Whatever. It's just not...

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‫- Getting big and hard؟
‫- Is this dirty mad libs؟

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‫I love him, and he's trying,
‫but this is so frustrating.

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‫- Of course it is.
‫- Last night I got so turned on, I...

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‫You almost masturbated, he almost
‫got it up - you almost had sex.

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‫- Next to him! I feel so ashamed.
‫- Everybody masturbates.

76
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‫- I did it this morning.
‫- That's why I got your voicemail.

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‫He masturbates and reads porn.
‫When it comes to me, nothing.

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‫- Madonna/whore.
‫- You think؟

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‫Trey sees you as his virginal wife,
‫not as sexual plaything.

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‫You're not going to get anywhere
‫until you change how he sees you.

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‫- I don't know if I can do that.
‫- Yes, you can.

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‫You're sexy. He should see you.
‫You're something to see.

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‫I soon realized how many desperate
‫New York women there were.

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‫I'm flattered that so many of you
‫showed up to hear me talk.

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‫The fact is, I have had
‫a lot of experience with men.

86
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‫Some of it good,
‫some of it bad, some of it very ugly.

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‫There are
‫two million single men in this city.

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‫I have dated about a million of them.

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‫All these men
‫are right outside your door.

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‫Next time you step out with
‫your shoes and traveling cappuccino,

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‫take a look around.
‫Our metropolis is stacked with men.

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‫You never knowwho you'll run into.
‫You can turn a corner,

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‫and boom - bright lights, date city.

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‫Could you be more specific؟

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‫Do you mean places to meet men؟

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‫Sure.

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‫Let's see. Samba.

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‫Any sporting...
‫Sports bars - Mickey Mantle's.

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‫I've gone there.
‫All the men were married.

100
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‫Really؟

101
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‫Let's see. I once met this fellow
‫on the Hampton Jitney.

102
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‫It turned out he couldn't drive,
‫and he was on a parole program.

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‫That's a bad example.

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‫Suddenly, I felt like the bad example.

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‫Yes, you.

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‫- Are you married؟
‫- No.

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‫Yes, you there.

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‫- Have you ever been married؟
‫- No, not that I'm aware of.

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‫Yes, you in the back.

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‫How old are you؟

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‫I'm really not an expert on men.
‫I just write about this stuff.

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‫Then why are we paying
‫to hear you talk about it؟

113
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‫Be quiet.

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‫She's older than us.
‫We can learn something.

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‫The only thing I learned that night
‫was that I should have stayed home.

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‫- Can I smoke in here؟
‫- No.

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‫If you stay single long enough,
‫you should get wiser about dating.

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‫Which men, where to meet them...
‫But what made us experts؟

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‫Wasn't our single status a neon sign
‫that we couldn't get it right؟

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‫What if all these years in New York

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‫have only made us older,
‫more confused or dead؟

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‫Are we getting wiser or just older؟

123
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‫If they'd been holding tomatoes
‫not Louis Vuitton bags, I'd be dead.

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‫- Or at least gazpacho.
‫- Do you know there are no free men؟

125
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‫We're at my date's wake, so yes.

126
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‫- They were so hostile.
‫- Fuck 'em.

127
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‫What do I know about men. All I have
‫is a bunch of failed relationships.

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‫- And one affair.
‫- Thanks.

129
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‫As if being dead-person adjacent
‫isn't bad enough.

130
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‫I'm supposed to teach another class.
‫What am I going to do؟

131
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‫Hire a bodyguard.

132
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‫This is my first wake.

133
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‫Don't expect a goodie bag.

134
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‫Oh, my God, open casket.
‫I've never seen a dead body before.

135
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‫- Let's get out of here.
‫- We can't. People are looking at us.

136
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‫He's cute.

137
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‫Was.

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‫Damn.

139
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‫This would have helped me. A place
‫to meet men - an after wake party.

140
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‫- He had money set aside for this.
‫- It's nice.

141
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‫- "I'm dead. Enjoy the buffet. "
‫- I like him even more now.

142
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‫- He was so organized he had a will.
‫- And attractive friends.

143
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‫- This place is full of men.
‫- Look howfreaked out they look.

144
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‫They know any minute
‫they're out of here.

145
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‫Carrie؟

146
00:10:03,318 --> 00:10:05,047
‫It's me, Jim.

147
00:10:06,555 --> 00:10:08,819
‫Oh, my God.

148
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‫Jim.

149
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‫- Your hair.
‫- I cut it for a real job. I'm an engineer.

150
00:10:16,298 --> 00:10:18,789
‫- On the railroad؟
‫- Civil.

151
00:10:18,967 --> 00:10:23,028
‫- What happened to the band؟
‫- Turns out I wasn't talented.

152
00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:26,971
‫Miranda, sorry, this is Jim.

153
00:10:27,142 --> 00:10:30,873
‫- We dated a grillion years ago.
‫- Or eight.

154
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‫Miranda. Nice to meet you.

155
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‫I'd ask if you're having fun,
‫but that seems inappropriate.

156
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‫It is, and we are. Thanks.

157
00:10:38,954 --> 00:10:42,185
‫- You were friends with Will؟
‫- May he rest.

158
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‫Roommates in college.
‫We were friends, but competitive.

159
00:10:47,162 --> 00:10:49,630
‫We were always
‫fighting it out for everything.

160
00:10:49,798 --> 00:10:53,029
‫He even died first,
‫just to beat me to the punch.

161
00:10:53,201 --> 00:10:55,795
‫- Bad.
‫- But you laughed.

162
00:10:55,971 --> 00:11:00,169
‫- You were the classic frenemies.
‫- Frenemies. Nice word.

163
00:11:00,342 --> 00:11:02,207
‫- I'm a writer.
‫- I know.

164
00:11:02,377 --> 00:11:04,937
‫- I'm a lawyer.
‫- And I'm not drunk enough.

165
00:11:05,113 --> 00:11:07,343
‫- Can I get you anything؟
‫- Martini.

166
00:11:07,516 --> 00:11:10,041
‫- No.
‫- Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.

167
00:11:10,218 --> 00:11:12,118
‫He's kind of cute.

168
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:16,584
‫- He's kind of an asshole.
‫- Really؟

169
00:11:16,758 --> 00:11:19,625
‫- Yes, indeedy.
‫- He seems great.

170
00:11:19,795 --> 00:11:22,059
‫That's what I thought
‫when I dated him.

171
00:11:22,297 --> 00:11:26,666
‫When it wasn't working, and
‫I broke up with him, "Hello, asshole. "

172
00:11:26,835 --> 00:11:30,737
‫Snide comments,
‫rumor spreading, the works.

173
00:11:30,906 --> 00:11:32,601
‫But he's so cute.

174
00:11:33,642 --> 00:11:35,667
‫- Incoming.
‫- Outgoing.

175
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,239
‫- Here you go.
‫- Thanks.

176
00:11:38,413 --> 00:11:43,680
‫I would love to chat inappropriately,
‫but I'm due to give a toast.

177
00:11:43,852 --> 00:11:46,150
‫So this is a working wake for you.

178
00:11:46,321 --> 00:11:50,382
‫I'd love to get together
‫with you sometime.

179
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:56,359
‫Here's my card. My e-mail address
‫is on the back, and my cell.

180
00:11:56,531 --> 00:12:00,023
‫Will's death had turned Miranda
‫- into my target audience

181
00:12:00,202 --> 00:12:02,295
‫a desperate woman.

182
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:05,838
‫Downtown,
‫Samantha was getting wise,

183
00:12:06,008 --> 00:12:08,943
‫Sebastian Wise, again.

184
00:12:09,144 --> 00:12:13,547
‫While, uptown,
‫Charlotte was getting nothing at all.

185
00:12:13,682 --> 00:12:17,448
‫- We almost broke the bed.
‫- You can't break a bed.

186
00:12:17,619 --> 00:12:21,316
‫- What does this stallion do؟
‫- I'm not sure.

187
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:24,618
‫- Does he go to Mickey Mantle's؟
‫- You got me.

188
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,194
‫How can you not know؟
‫You slept with him.

189
00:12:27,362 --> 00:12:30,126
‫I fucked him.
‫He made me come six times.

190
00:12:30,298 --> 00:12:32,129
‫It's good enough for me.

191
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:33,995
‫Stop it.

192
00:12:34,169 --> 00:12:37,536
‫Why do you always
‫talk about sex like that؟

193
00:12:37,706 --> 00:12:39,401
‫Because I can.

194
00:12:39,574 --> 00:12:42,008
‫Simmer down,
‫mommy hasn't had her caffeine yet.

195
00:12:42,177 --> 00:12:44,168
‫I can't take this any more.

196
00:12:44,379 --> 00:12:45,505
‫Frittata.

197
00:12:46,848 --> 00:12:51,808
‫Sex is something special between
‫two people who love each other.

198
00:12:52,054 --> 00:12:54,386
‫- Or two people who love sex.
‫- You're such a...

199
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,956
‫A what؟ What am I؟

200
00:12:57,125 --> 00:13:00,993
‫You can't just sleep
‫with everything that comes along.

201
00:13:01,163 --> 00:13:03,597
‫Hey, Mrs. Softie,
‫at least I'm getting laid.

202
00:13:04,599 --> 00:13:06,328
‫You can forget Samba.

203
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:11,699
‫She needs the stick out of her ass
‫and a dick in her coochie pronto.

204
00:13:11,873 --> 00:13:15,604
‫- Not getting involved.
‫- I'm with her.

205
00:13:15,777 --> 00:13:18,837
‫You knowwhat؟ I don't need this.

206
00:13:19,014 --> 00:13:21,414
‫Maybe you should forget Samba too.

207
00:13:25,353 --> 00:13:30,188
‫- We knewthis was coming.
‫- It's so sad and petty.

208
00:13:30,358 --> 00:13:35,728
‫- I'm staying way out of this one.
‫- Way out. New Jersey out.

209
00:13:35,897 --> 00:13:41,199
‫Speaking of petty, how upset
‫would you be if I went out with Jim؟

210
00:13:41,369 --> 00:13:44,770
‫- Jim, Old Boyfriend Jim؟
‫- He called me.

211
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:50,071
‫Miranda, no.
‫He needs to be voted off the island.

212
00:13:50,245 --> 00:13:54,511
‫I know how you feel,
‫but he was so sweet on the phone.

213
00:13:54,683 --> 00:13:57,516
‫It was eight years ago.
‫Maybe he's learned something.

214
00:13:57,686 --> 00:14:01,486
‫- Haven't you learned anything؟
‫- Apparently not.

215
00:14:01,656 --> 00:14:05,592
‫He's alive and he asked me out.
‫I'm fragile right now.

216
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:07,695
‫Fine, go.

217
00:14:07,863 --> 00:14:10,229
‫One woman's asshole
‫is another woman's...

218
00:14:10,398 --> 00:14:11,763
‫A-hole.

219
00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:15,198
‫As long as you're OK with it.

220
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:17,304
‫Later that week,
‫Charlotte decided

221
00:14:17,472 --> 00:14:21,772
‫for Trey to see the sexual part of her,
‫she'd have to dress the part.

222
00:14:21,977 --> 00:14:24,707
‫I'm going to get him to notice me.
‫I have to.

223
00:14:24,913 --> 00:14:28,007
‫That's a bottom.

224
00:14:28,183 --> 00:14:30,344
‫If you're going to go the lingerie route,

225
00:14:30,519 --> 00:14:34,649
‫why not go a little more
‫upscale and less flammable؟

226
00:14:34,823 --> 00:14:37,223
‫I don't wanna be me.
‫I wanna be someone else.

227
00:14:37,392 --> 00:14:40,953
‫- That equals a healthy relationship.
‫- What do these say؟

228
00:14:41,129 --> 00:14:42,926
‫Read my lips.

229
00:14:43,098 --> 00:14:46,932
‫I want to be call girl
‫meets Park Avenue.

230
00:14:47,102 --> 00:14:49,798
‫Then you have to pair that
‫with a cardigan.

231
00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:53,566
‫This is important to me.
‫I need him to see me sexually.

232
00:14:53,742 --> 00:14:57,075
‫I knowyou do.
‫I'm just not sure I need to.

233
00:14:57,245 --> 00:15:00,476
‫This is much more a Samantha job.

234
00:15:00,615 --> 00:15:03,140
‫Please. I need a break from her.

235
00:15:03,318 --> 00:15:06,845
‫You shouldn't be so hard on her.
‫She doesn't mean to be hurtful.

236
00:15:07,022 --> 00:15:08,853
‫She was.

237
00:15:09,024 --> 00:15:11,584
‫There were two of you
‫ruining my breakfast.

238
00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:17,060
‫I have enough problems right now.
‫I don't need any lectures.

239
00:15:19,401 --> 00:15:22,370
‫It was my second lecture that week
‫that was a failure.

240
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:25,769
‫Across town, Samantha decided
‫the wise thing to do was

241
00:15:25,941 --> 00:15:29,001
‫to take a break from all of us
‫and go shopping.

242
00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:35,547
‫- I'm sorry.
‫- Let it go, no one gets hurt.

243
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:39,813
‫- I was holding it first.
‫- I know Tae Kwon Do.

244
00:15:39,988 --> 00:15:42,388
‫I knowthe manager.

245
00:15:44,826 --> 00:15:47,795
‫You're spunky. I like spunky women.

246
00:15:47,996 --> 00:15:50,624
‫- We're a dying breed.
‫- No kiddin'.

247
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:54,836
‫I'm Claire Anne.
‫Don't let the southern accent fool you.

248
00:15:54,970 --> 00:15:57,803
‫I'm Samantha. Nothing fools me.

249
00:15:59,374 --> 00:16:02,172
‫I'll let you have this scarf

250
00:16:02,344 --> 00:16:06,940
‫if you show me where a girl can get
‫a hard drink in a dark bar around here.

251
00:16:07,115 --> 00:16:09,777
‫Done and done.

252
00:16:09,918 --> 00:16:14,719
‫My last date died. The fact that you're
‫still breathing makes this a success.

253
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,757
‫Low standards. I like that.

254
00:16:24,366 --> 00:16:27,199
‫- This was really nice.
‫- Yeah, it was.

255
00:16:27,369 --> 00:16:30,236
‫Carrie wasn't sure
‫that we would get along.

256
00:16:30,405 --> 00:16:33,636
‫She knew me a long time ago.
‫I've changed.

257
00:16:33,842 --> 00:16:37,869
‫Back then, I was in a band
‫called Uncle Ted's Ass.

258
00:16:38,046 --> 00:16:41,743
‫- And I could sit on my hair.
‫- That's impressive.

259
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,681
‫You didn't hear us play.

260
00:16:52,394 --> 00:16:56,296
‫- I'd like to see you again.
‫- I'd like that.

261
00:16:56,464 --> 00:16:59,160
‫- Night.
‫- Night.

262
00:17:02,504 --> 00:17:08,374
‫The next morning, Miranda called with
‫the post mortem on her date with Jim.

263
00:17:09,678 --> 00:17:11,942
‫- Hello؟
‫- It's me.

264
00:17:12,113 --> 00:17:15,742
‫I thought it was the Learning Annex
‫bugging me about my class.

265
00:17:15,917 --> 00:17:18,317
‫- When's that؟
‫- ۱۲th of Never Gonna Happen.

266
00:17:18,486 --> 00:17:21,319
‫People asked for refunds
‫after my first class.

267
00:17:21,489 --> 00:17:24,185
‫- What do they know؟
‫- More than I do.

268
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,384
‫I feel like a total sham.

269
00:17:26,594 --> 00:17:29,392
‫Easy. That's my friend
‫you're talking about.

270
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:36,236
‫- I went out with Jim.
‫- Don't make me say, "I told you so. "

271
00:17:36,404 --> 00:17:39,635
‫It was great.
‫He was fun and romantic.

272
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:42,436
‫We talked till the restaurant closed.
‫You're wrong about him.

273
00:17:42,610 --> 00:17:46,478
‫- 'This could be good. '
‫- Are we talking about Asshole Jim؟

274
00:17:46,614 --> 00:17:49,640
‫- He's not an asshole.
‫- Not till you break up with him.

275
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:52,946
‫- He says great things about you.
‫- He does؟

276
00:17:53,121 --> 00:17:56,488
‫- I'm going out with him on Friday.
‫- Go, God's speed.

277
00:17:56,658 --> 00:18:01,186
‫I feel weird dating a guy
‫that you don't like.

278
00:18:01,363 --> 00:18:05,663
‫We should all go out
‫have a drink sometime. One drink.

279
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:09,270
‫What do you know about this guy؟
‫You've been on one date.

280
00:18:09,437 --> 00:18:12,998
‫What do you know؟ It's been
‫eight years. Think about the drink.

281
00:18:13,141 --> 00:18:17,874
‫Charlotte decided this would be
‫a good time to spend with old friends,

282
00:18:18,046 --> 00:18:20,173
‫the sisters of Kappa Kappa Gamma.

283
00:18:20,348 --> 00:18:23,545
‫Oh, my goodness.
‫Has it been forever or what؟

284
00:18:23,718 --> 00:18:27,779
‫- It has.
‫- Charlotte, we've really missed you.

285
00:18:27,956 --> 00:18:30,550
‫And I have missed you.
‫You have no idea.

286
00:18:30,725 --> 00:18:35,059
‫Congratulations on your wedding.
‫Welcome to the married old girls club.

287
00:18:35,230 --> 00:18:38,563
‫He is so handsome.

288
00:18:38,733 --> 00:18:42,396
‫I would like to trade
‫my husband in for him, please.

289
00:18:42,570 --> 00:18:46,404
‫They would understand her.
‫After all, they were married too.

290
00:18:46,608 --> 00:18:50,544
‫I remember being a newly-wed.
‫We hardly ever got out of bed.

291
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:54,170
‫- Sydney.
‫- What؟ It's just us girls.

292
00:18:54,382 --> 00:18:57,408
‫My husband can't get it up.

293
00:18:57,585 --> 00:19:02,181
‫It would have been wiser to have
‫a cappuccino instead of a third drink.

294
00:19:02,357 --> 00:19:05,451
‫- I'm so frustrated.
‫- Charlotte؟

295
00:19:05,627 --> 00:19:09,028
‫Don't you ever
‫just want to be pounded hard؟

296
00:19:09,197 --> 00:19:12,894
‫Like when the bed is moving
‫all around, and it's all sweaty,

297
00:19:13,034 --> 00:19:18,438
‫your head is knocking the headboard
‫and you feel it might blow off؟

298
00:19:18,606 --> 00:19:24,545
‫Dammit, I just really want
‫to be fucked. Just really fucked.

299
00:19:24,679 --> 00:19:28,843
‫The only heads blowing off
‫were those of Kappa Kappa Grandma.

300
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:33,546
‫- This is really inappropriate.
‫- Yeah, we're eating.

301
00:19:33,721 --> 00:19:38,784
‫- What's wrong with you؟ You're a...
‫- What؟ What am I؟

302
00:19:40,462 --> 00:19:44,922
‫Charlotte realized how much
‫they'd all changed since college.

303
00:19:45,133 --> 00:19:48,159
‫Her friends had become frenemies.

304
00:19:48,336 --> 00:19:51,533
‫And to them,
‫she had become Samantha.

305
00:19:53,341 --> 00:19:58,142
‫- Here's to newfriends.
‫- And gorgeous New York men.

306
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:05,184
‫Would you like to join me
‫at Samba on Friday night؟

307
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:09,120
‫Two hot broads at a hot restaurant.
‫I love it.

308
00:20:09,257 --> 00:20:11,487
‫The reservation is for four.

309
00:20:16,764 --> 00:20:19,995
‫Done and done.

310
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:25,603
‫Samantha couldn't believe
‫how much fun she was having.

311
00:20:25,773 --> 00:20:29,766
‫She had found a woman who was
‫as open about her sexuality as her.

312
00:20:29,944 --> 00:20:31,935
‫I call the blondes.

313
00:20:33,848 --> 00:20:35,440
‫You are too cute.

314
00:20:35,617 --> 00:20:38,450
‫I could just eat you up.

315
00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:40,952
‫Yes, I could.

316
00:20:41,122 --> 00:20:43,352
‫I'm gonna eat you up.

317
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,359
‫Claire Anne؟

318
00:20:53,334 --> 00:20:55,928
‫- Oh, my God.
‫- Excellent.

319
00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:00,971
‫I'm going.

320
00:21:01,142 --> 00:21:03,770
‫Wait I'll come with you.

321
00:21:07,916 --> 00:21:11,852
‫- You can forget Samba.
‫- Where are you going؟

322
00:21:12,053 --> 00:21:15,386
‫Samantha learned
‫she had a little Charlotte in her.

323
00:21:15,523 --> 00:21:21,621
‫She had a line that could be crossed.
‫Hers was just more to the left.

324
00:21:21,796 --> 00:21:25,232
‫The next night, I agreed
‫to meet Jim and Miranda for drinks.

325
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,868
‫Jim took me to a poetry reading
‫last night.

326
00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:30,163
‫The unpublished works
‫of Robert Lowell.

327
00:21:30,338 --> 00:21:33,000
‫- He wrote his thesis on Lowell.
‫- I didn't knowthat.

328
00:21:33,174 --> 00:21:37,543
‫There's a lot you never knew.
‫Another Chardonnay for the lady.

329
00:21:37,712 --> 00:21:39,111
‫Thank you.

330
00:21:39,247 --> 00:21:43,775
‫I lost track of you,
‫but I always read your column.

331
00:21:43,952 --> 00:21:46,011
‫- It's really good.
‫- Thank you.

332
00:21:46,187 --> 00:21:50,920
‫Maybe I'd been wrong.
‫Jim seemed kind, funny, attentive.

333
00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:55,587
‫- There's a lot of sex in there.
‫- It creeps in.

334
00:21:55,763 --> 00:21:59,290
‫You didn't knowtoo much about sex
‫when we were dating.

335
00:21:59,434 --> 00:22:00,924
‫And still an asshole.

336
00:22:01,069 --> 00:22:03,264
‫- Good to see you.
‫- Don't leave.

337
00:22:03,438 --> 00:22:07,101
‫I was joking. Stay.
‫I have really bad timing.

338
00:22:07,275 --> 00:22:10,676
‫- Did you ever hear his band play؟
‫- No.

339
00:22:10,845 --> 00:22:15,214
‫- She was busy shopping for shoes.
‫- I do like my shoes.

340
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:19,417
‫They come in handy
‫when you're walking all over people.

341
00:22:19,621 --> 00:22:23,113
‫- Come on.
‫- I'm reliving happy memories.

342
00:22:23,291 --> 00:22:26,283
‫- Carrie doesn't walk all over people.
‫- She did with me.

343
00:22:26,427 --> 00:22:28,895
‫Maybe that's because
‫you're an asshole.

344
00:22:29,030 --> 00:22:33,296
‫She's the asshole. She never
‫called me once after we broke up.

345
00:22:33,468 --> 00:22:36,699
‫- That's because you're an asshole.
‫- She's the asshole.

346
00:22:36,871 --> 00:22:39,101
‫- She's not.
‫- Thank you.

347
00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:42,107
‫You knowwhat؟ Never call me again.

348
00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:45,041
‫- Are you breaking up with me؟
‫- Yeah.

349
00:22:45,213 --> 00:22:49,115
‫The fancy lawyer lady is breaking up
‫with me, like I give a shit.

350
00:22:49,284 --> 00:22:51,718
‫Jim hadn't gotten older or wiser.

351
00:22:51,886 --> 00:22:54,377
‫Once dumped,
‫he'd still dumped on everyone.

352
00:22:54,555 --> 00:22:57,422
‫You are such assholes.

353
00:23:03,231 --> 00:23:06,200
‫- OK, say it.
‫- I told you so.

354
00:23:06,401 --> 00:23:09,529
‫- What an asshole.
‫- I told you so.

355
00:23:09,704 --> 00:23:12,195
‫Is it bad that it makes me
‫feel good to say that؟

356
00:23:12,373 --> 00:23:15,638
‫No. I can't believe
‫I fell for that asshole.

357
00:23:15,810 --> 00:23:17,971
‫Your date died. You panicked.

358
00:23:18,179 --> 00:23:20,010
‫You know me too well.

359
00:23:20,181 --> 00:23:23,378
‫There are plenty
‫of other assholes out there.

360
00:23:23,551 --> 00:23:26,782
‫- You think؟
‫- I know. And I'm an expert.

361
00:23:26,921 --> 00:23:29,617
‫You're such an asshole.

362
00:23:29,824 --> 00:23:36,024
‫Meanwhile, uptown, the Samantha
‫in Charlotte was ready to come out.

363
00:23:40,401 --> 00:23:43,962
‫What in God's name are you wearing؟

364
00:23:44,138 --> 00:23:46,606
‫It's supposed to be sexy.

365
00:23:48,209 --> 00:23:51,144
‫Come on, you're my wife.

366
00:23:51,346 --> 00:23:53,246
‫That's not you.
‫Take it off.

367
00:23:54,382 --> 00:23:55,644
‫Fine.

368
00:24:05,159 --> 00:24:07,627
‫Look at me.

369
00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:14,191
‫This is me.

370
00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:18,866
‫I'm not a madonna,
‫and I'm not a whore.

371
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:24,144
‫I'm your wife.
‫I'm sexual and I love you.

372
00:24:35,356 --> 00:24:37,688
‫What are you doing؟

373
00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:41,221
‫I'm touching myself.

374
00:24:42,930 --> 00:24:46,593
‫I can... I can see that.

375
00:24:47,902 --> 00:24:49,631
‫Good.

376
00:25:01,349 --> 00:25:02,338
‫Trey؟

377
00:25:04,218 --> 00:25:06,982
‫I think we have a stiff breeze.

378
00:25:07,155 --> 00:25:10,420
‫That night,
‫Trey successfully screwed his wife

379
00:25:10,591 --> 00:25:14,391
‫for a full minute and a half
‫before the wind died.

380
00:25:15,430 --> 00:25:19,264
‫After Charlotte's night of love,
‫she called the one person she knew

381
00:25:19,434 --> 00:25:21,402
‫who would appreciate it the most.

382
00:25:21,569 --> 00:25:23,400
‫Hello؟

383
00:25:23,571 --> 00:25:25,334
‫He fucked me.

384
00:25:25,506 --> 00:25:28,771
‫Honey, that's great.
‫I knew you could do it.

385
00:25:28,976 --> 00:25:32,434
‫- Thanks.
‫- Don't forget Samba Friday night.

386
00:25:32,613 --> 00:25:33,978
‫I'll be there.

387
00:25:34,148 --> 00:25:35,581
‫Did you come؟

388
00:25:37,819 --> 00:25:39,878
‫Having spent time
‫with their frenemies,

389
00:25:40,054 --> 00:25:44,286
‫they forgot they were enemies
‫and went back to being friends.

390
00:25:44,459 --> 00:25:47,485
‫I realized I had become
‫my own worst frenemy.

391
00:25:47,662 --> 00:25:51,189
‫I had let ۳۰۰ desperate women
‫and one asshole convince me

392
00:25:51,399 --> 00:25:55,130
‫that I didn't know anything.
‫I did. I was older and wiser.

393
00:25:55,336 --> 00:25:58,396
‫I decided to keep my second date
‫with the Learning Annex.

394
00:25:58,573 --> 00:26:01,736
‫Unfortunately,
‫my reputation had preceded me.

395
00:26:01,909 --> 00:26:03,433
‫Is this it؟

396
00:26:09,717 --> 00:26:12,618
‫I'm carrie Bradshaw.

397
00:26:12,787 --> 00:26:17,190
‫You've paid good money
‫to find out how to meet men.

398
00:26:17,358 --> 00:26:19,155
‫I don't know a lot about it,

399
00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:22,728
‫but you're not going to
‫meet them in a Learning Annex class.

400
00:26:22,897 --> 00:26:24,797
‫So, grab your bags.

401
00:26:26,834 --> 00:26:29,166
‫Come on,
‫we're not getting any younger.

402
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,803
‫That's right. Just trying
‫to give you your money's worth.

403
00:26:35,977 --> 00:26:41,415
‫I took them to a bar,
‫took my $۳۰۰ and bought them drinks.

404
00:26:41,582 --> 00:26:44,949
‫Anne, the guy over there
‫is checking you out.

405
00:26:45,653 --> 00:26:47,177
‫Twelve o'clock.

406
00:26:47,355 --> 00:26:49,585
‫Not everybody, just Anne.

407
00:26:49,757 --> 00:26:53,693
‫- Go and ask him for a light.
‫- I'm already lit.

408
00:26:55,796 --> 00:26:58,128
‫Go.

409
00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:04,330
‫- Hi, got a light؟
‫- Sure.

410
00:27:04,505 --> 00:27:06,803
‫Oh, yeah. See؟

411
00:27:06,974 --> 00:27:09,340
‫OK, one down, five to go.

412
00:27:09,544 --> 00:27:13,605
‫- What about him؟
‫- It's cool with me. It's fine.

413
00:27:13,781 --> 00:27:18,582
‫Excuse me؟ Hi, have you met Liz؟
‫She works in TV.

414
00:27:18,753 --> 00:27:22,348
‫- I love TV.
‫- Something in common.

415
00:27:22,523 --> 00:27:24,582
‫That night, I made three matches.

416
00:27:24,759 --> 00:27:28,593
‫I didn't look for myself.
‫I try not to date while at work.

417
00:27:28,763 --> 00:27:33,325
‫- The old and wise adage is true
‫those who can't do, teach.

418
00:27:33,501 --> 00:27:35,765
‫Those who can't teach, do.

419
00:27:35,970 --> 00:27:38,370
‫Here's a live one.
‫Go, get him, tiger. Go.

420
00:27:38,539 --> 00:27:40,632
‫Run like the wind.