1
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‫۳۱۷ - What Goes Around Comes Around

2
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‫Here goes, Charles.

3
00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:49,664
‫Two months into her marriage,

4
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:52,426
‫Charlotte's life seemed
‫to be a bed of roses.

5
00:00:52,601 --> 00:00:55,570
‫That's what it looked like
‫to an onlooker.

6
00:00:55,704 --> 00:00:57,695
‫My boys have been
‫playing each other

7
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‫since prep school.

8
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‫They're still not tired of it.

9
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‫Let the girls play.

10
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‫She's wearing pastels.
‫It's whites only.

11
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‫We can make an exception
‫this one time.

12
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‫Your father would roll over

13
00:01:15,391 --> 00:01:17,723
‫in his grave if he heard you.

14
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‫Charlotte hasn't been issued

15
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‫a copy of the MacDougal house rules.

16
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‫No, but it's time I got one.

17
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‫It's next to the Bible,

18
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‫on your bed stand.

19
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‫Funny.

20
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‫Tradition is a very undervalued virtue.

21
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‫Marrying a MacDougal

22
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‫is marrying history.

23
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‫Yes. I guess I better go change.

24
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‫Charlotte had no interest in hearing
‫any more about the family history.

25
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‫Her history with Trey
‫was depressing enough.

26
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‫After a few half-baked attempts at
‫a sex life, Trey seemed to give up.

27
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‫The only place he even tried to score
‫was on the tennis court.

28
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‫- Good morning.
‫- Morning.

29
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‫Beautiful roses.

30
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‫Thank you.

31
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‫I don't knowwhat it is.
‫I'm strangely drawn to him.

32
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‫- You knowthe man can plough.
‫- He had the most intoxicating scent.

33
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‫Like sweat mixed with something,
‫something sweet yet pungent.

34
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‫- Manure؟
‫- And these full, sensuous lips.

35
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‫- Does he water plants in Manhattan؟
‫- I can't be looking at gardeners.

36
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‫Why be in the suburbs,
‫if you're not gonna fuck a gardener؟

37
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‫He was so tanned and muscular.

38
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‫The sweat ran down from his chest
‫onto his perfectly defined stomach.

39
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‫You read Harlequin Romances
‫in school, haunts you forever.

40
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‫Whatever you do, don't look up.

41
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‫Oh, my God, did you see
‫the way she looked at me؟

42
00:03:27,656 --> 00:03:29,886
‫Did you see the look
‫her friend shot us؟

43
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‫- Contempt, like I was Pol Pot.
‫- He's dead.

44
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‫- She wishes I was.
‫- Who does she think she is؟

45
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‫Big's wife.

46
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‫That was awful. I can't believe
‫that there is a person in New York

47
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‫who could hate me that much.

48
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‫Oh, God.

49
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‫I was so devastated
‫by Natasha's withering look

50
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‫that I decided
‫my only recourse was to go shopping.

51
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‫I took a wrong turn
‫looking for the right shoes,

52
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‫and south of Houston Street
‫I literally lost my direction.

53
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‫Excuse me,
‫I knowthis sounds ridiculous.

54
00:04:09,565 --> 00:04:12,295
‫Can you tell me
‫which way is West Broadway؟

55
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‫- Give me your bag.
‫- What؟

56
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‫Your bag.

57
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‫- It's a baguette.
‫- Let me have it.

58
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‫I couldn't believe it.
‫۱۵ years in New York,

59
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‫and when the city was getting safe,
‫I got mugged.

60
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‫- Is this for real؟
‫- Your watch and your ring.

61
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‫Jesus.

62
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‫- This won't...
‫- Come on.

63
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‫- And your Manolo Blahniks.
‫- What؟

64
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‫- No.
‫- Give me your Blahniks.

65
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‫They weren't just after money.
‫They were after fashion.

66
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‫Please, sir, they're my favorite pair.

67
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‫I got them half price at a sample sale.

68
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‫Thanks.

69
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‫Somebody stop him,
‫he took my strappy sandals.

70
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‫Somebody...

71
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‫Gross!

72
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‫I've been robbed!

73
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‫I've been robbed.

74
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‫He said, "Give me your Blahniks",
‫which I thought was a joke.

75
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‫Then I'm barefoot on a sidewalk
‫in the middle of summer.

76
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‫Anything other than the watch,
‫the bag, the ring, and the shoes؟

77
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‫My dignity.

78
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‫- God, are you all right؟
‫- I'm fine. Thanks for coming.

79
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‫- I can't believe he took your shoes.
‫- I know.

80
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‫- Probably got trichinosis.
‫- You only get that from pork.

81
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‫I'm sure I stepped
‫on a piece of it somewhere.

82
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‫Detective Stevens, this is my friend,
‫my lawyer, Miranda Hobbes.

83
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‫Nice to meet you.
‫Any chance of catching this guy؟

84
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‫We hope so.

85
00:06:04,212 --> 00:06:08,876
‫Maybe you can come with me
‫and read him his Miranda rights.

86
00:06:09,051 --> 00:06:12,851
‫- Sorry, that was lame.
‫- It was funny. A little cop humor.

87
00:06:12,988 --> 00:06:16,617
‫- Are you Irish؟
‫- No. Why؟

88
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‫You have beautiful red hair.

89
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‫Anybody can be Irish
‫with the right colorist.

90
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‫Very funny. A sense of humor,
‫I like that in a lawyer. It's very rare.

91
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‫I'll get back to you
‫as soon as I have something.

92
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‫- Can I have your card؟
‫- Sure.

93
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‫- Just in case.
‫- Sure.

94
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‫Thanks.

95
00:06:43,685 --> 00:06:45,516
‫I can't wear these.

96
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‫I'll call you.

97
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‫I don't understand.
‫I get mugged, and you get him؟

98
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‫I guess that's my karma.

99
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‫He said he'll call.
‫It doesn't mean he will.

100
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‫What are you talking about؟
‫The man was smitten with you.

101
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‫He probably wants free legal advice.
‫That's generally my karma.

102
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‫Samantha discovered that her number
‫had been passed around as well.

103
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‫This is a message for Sam Jones.
‫If you're getting this, it's Brian.

104
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‫I'll see you tomorrow around ۱۰:۰۰.
‫Can't wait. Later.

105
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‫Sam, are you there؟
‫This is Rob, Mike's friend.

106
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‫You don't know me, but I'll be there
‫tomorrowwith some party favorites.

107
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‫- Hello, Sam؟
‫- Yes, this is Sam.

108
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:48,540
‫- Sam Jones؟
‫- Yes. Who is this؟

109
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‫The Sam Jones who's having
‫the big party tomorrow night؟

110
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‫Exactly who is this Sam Jones؟

111
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‫And where is this fabulous party؟

112
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‫The next evening,
‫Miranda had a date with my detective.

113
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‫I'm having an anxiety attack.

114
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‫The most gorgeous man I've met
‫is in my living room.

115
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‫- I can't figure out what to wear.
‫- Breathe.

116
00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:24,641
‫Shut your eyes,
‫and go with your first instinct.

117
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‫I've been in here for ۲۰ minutes.
‫By now he thinks I'm a freak.

118
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‫I'll be right there.

119
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‫What are you so worked up about؟

120
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‫He's too good-looking for me.
‫I don't have outfits that go with Hunk.

121
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‫Wait. Maybe this is karma.

122
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‫- You're getting what you deserve.
‫- Right.

123
00:08:51,947 --> 00:08:55,883
‫Maybe after years of odd men,
‫the universe is throwing me a bone.

124
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‫If you're lucky, a boner as well.

125
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‫- OK, I can do this.
‫- Now go and have fun.

126
00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:06,586
‫Tell Detective Stevens,
‫if he sees a woman

127
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‫wearing pink suede Blahnik sandals,
‫bring her in for questioning.

128
00:09:19,207 --> 00:09:23,701
‫While I ascribed thoughts of karma
‫to fortune cookie psychology,

129
00:09:23,879 --> 00:09:28,714
‫I wondered, does a string of bad dates
‫equal one good one؟

130
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‫And will treating someone badly
‫in one relationship ensure

131
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‫that you'll be treated badly
‫in the next؟

132
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‫Does everything that goes around
‫come around؟

133
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‫If so, will it come around
‫to bite you in the ass؟

134
00:09:42,197 --> 00:09:45,928
‫Is there such a thing as
‫relationship karma؟

135
00:09:48,069 --> 00:09:53,473
‫Later, I accompanied Samantha
‫to a party thrown by Sam Jones.

136
00:09:53,642 --> 00:09:56,304
‫I can't believe we're going
‫to the party of a total stranger.

137
00:09:56,478 --> 00:09:59,345
‫It's not a total stranger,
‫we do share the same name.

138
00:09:59,514 --> 00:10:01,641
‫Why are you walking so slow؟

139
00:10:01,816 --> 00:10:04,944
‫I keep waiting for someone
‫to jump out and steal my bra.

140
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:09,454
‫If the guy's a loser, I'll tell him
‫to stop having his friends call me,

141
00:10:09,624 --> 00:10:13,424
‫and we'll go for dinner. If not,
‫who knows؟ His friend sounded cute.

142
00:10:13,595 --> 00:10:16,120
‫- How can you tell over the phone؟
‫- I can.

143
00:10:16,298 --> 00:10:19,927
‫- Besides, Washington Square
‫very money address.

144
00:10:20,101 --> 00:10:23,969
‫I feel like there's
‫some cosmic purpose to all this.

145
00:10:24,139 --> 00:10:26,937
‫It's too much of a coincidence.

146
00:10:27,108 --> 00:10:31,568
‫What was the cosmic purpose
‫of my getting snubbed by Natasha؟

147
00:10:31,746 --> 00:10:36,376
‫If I told you I had information
‫about Big and Natasha,

148
00:10:36,551 --> 00:10:40,180
‫would you consider it cosmic
‫or a random act of gossip؟

149
00:10:40,355 --> 00:10:42,289
‫I'd have to hear it first.

150
00:10:44,159 --> 00:10:49,529
‫Natasha left Big. It's over.
‫She's back working for Ralph Lauren.

151
00:10:49,698 --> 00:10:53,395
‫Oh, my God. Who told you that؟

152
00:10:53,568 --> 00:10:58,301
‫- A little bird I fucked at Ralph Lauren.
‫- You waited ۱۵ blocks to tell me that؟

153
00:10:58,473 --> 00:11:00,236
‫I wanted you to have fun.

154
00:11:00,408 --> 00:11:03,673
‫I can't believe I'm responsible
‫for breaking up their marriage.

155
00:11:03,845 --> 00:11:07,906
‫You're not. It probably wouldn't
‫have worked anyway.

156
00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:12,247
‫- I don't think I could feel any worse.
‫- Here we are.

157
00:11:14,689 --> 00:11:17,954
‫- It's a dorm.
‫- Look at that, I feel worse.

158
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,467
‫Do you think
‫these cute boys are still in college؟

159
00:11:28,636 --> 00:11:30,160
‫Yes.

160
00:11:30,338 --> 00:11:35,970
‫I'm going to find Sam Jones,
‫and then we're outta here.

161
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:41,279
‫Excuse me. Could you tell me
‫where I can find Sam Jones؟

162
00:11:51,192 --> 00:11:53,626
‫- Sam Jones؟
‫- Yeah. Who are you؟

163
00:11:53,795 --> 00:11:57,060
‫- Sam Jones.
‫- Excuse me؟

164
00:11:57,232 --> 00:12:00,292
‫It appears that we have
‫a problem here.

165
00:12:00,468 --> 00:12:05,963
‫We have the same name,
‫and I'm getting all your fucking calls.

166
00:12:06,107 --> 00:12:10,635
‫If you're getting all my "fucking" calls,
‫that explains why I'm still a virgin.

167
00:12:11,646 --> 00:12:15,844
‫Samantha wondered what message
‫the universe was sending her,

168
00:12:16,017 --> 00:12:17,985
‫but Miranda had no doubt.

169
00:12:18,153 --> 00:12:20,451
‫This was fun,
‫and I would invite you in,

170
00:12:20,622 --> 00:12:23,489
‫but you've been in,
‫and I have a huge day tomorrow,

171
00:12:23,725 --> 00:12:29,459
‫which isn't to say I wouldn't like to
‫see you again. I would, if you'd like...

172
00:12:37,172 --> 00:12:39,106
‫I'll call you.

173
00:12:47,916 --> 00:12:52,580
‫She felt like she had
‫just hit the cosmic jackpot.

174
00:12:54,889 --> 00:12:58,017
‫Please don't tell anyone
‫we were here.

175
00:12:58,193 --> 00:13:00,218
‫Some of those boys were cute.

176
00:13:00,395 --> 00:13:03,762
‫- Some of them were young enough...
‫- Don't you dare say it.

177
00:13:03,932 --> 00:13:07,060
‫- Excuse me, ladies.
‫- Excuse me, Mom.

178
00:13:12,006 --> 00:13:13,940
‫Cab!

179
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:18,377
‫Natasha fell down the stairs,
‫now I fall down the stairs.

180
00:13:18,546 --> 00:13:21,674
‫This is an open and shut case
‫of karmic retribution.

181
00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:25,047
‫- It was an accident.
‫- This was not an accident.

182
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,279
‫Yesterday, I get mugged,

183
00:13:27,455 --> 00:13:31,755
‫now I can't even get a taxi - and I can
‫always get a taxi. My karma is shot.

184
00:13:31,893 --> 00:13:35,659
‫If everything happens for a reason,
‫why am I getting calls for Sam Jones؟

185
00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:39,630
‫- What's the karmic connection؟
‫- I only know about my own karma.

186
00:13:39,801 --> 00:13:42,099
‫Maybe I should fuck that virgin

187
00:13:42,270 --> 00:13:45,671
‫and give him the great first-time
‫experience that I never had.

188
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,071
‫That's not karma,
‫that's statutory rape.

189
00:13:50,645 --> 00:13:52,772
‫Here, here.

190
00:13:52,947 --> 00:13:54,471
‫Come on.

191
00:13:54,649 --> 00:13:56,014
‫What's up؟

192
00:13:56,184 --> 00:14:01,588
‫Across town, Charlotte was getting
‫a message of her own.

193
00:14:38,226 --> 00:14:40,456
‫Wake up.

194
00:14:43,431 --> 00:14:45,626
‫You had a nightmare.

195
00:14:51,973 --> 00:14:54,806
‫You're all wet.

196
00:14:57,812 --> 00:15:02,044
‫Later that week, my knee still hurting
‫from my trip down the stairs,

197
00:15:02,217 --> 00:15:04,879
‫I decided to take matters
‫into my own hands.

198
00:15:05,053 --> 00:15:09,649
‫- Ralph Lauren, Natasha's desk.
‫- I'd like to speak to Natasha, please.

199
00:15:09,824 --> 00:15:13,624
‫- It's Carrie Bradshaw calling.
‫- What's this regarding؟

200
00:15:13,795 --> 00:15:16,764
‫- It's personal.
‫- Hold.

201
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:20,697
‫I didn't know howto tell an assistant
‫it was of cosmic significance.

202
00:15:20,868 --> 00:15:23,063
‫- She's in a meeting.
‫- I'll hold.

203
00:15:23,238 --> 00:15:26,833
‫I don't mean to be rude,
‫but you'll be holding forever.

204
00:15:27,008 --> 00:15:29,977
‫OK then, I'll hold forever.

205
00:15:30,144 --> 00:15:33,671
‫This wasn't gonna be easy.
‫I had tough karma to overcome.

206
00:15:37,285 --> 00:15:41,585
‫The next week,
‫Charlotte flirted with her own karma.

207
00:15:43,258 --> 00:15:46,056
‫Where did you get
‫such a green thumb؟

208
00:15:46,227 --> 00:15:50,664
‫Runs in the family. We're gardeners
‫for three generations.

209
00:15:50,832 --> 00:15:53,733
‫What a wonderful tradition.

210
00:15:54,769 --> 00:15:58,034
‫I'm Charlotte, by the way. Trey's wife.

211
00:15:58,706 --> 00:16:01,072
‫I know. I'm Burt.

212
00:16:02,010 --> 00:16:06,879
‫These roses are so beautiful.
‫What kind are they؟

213
00:16:08,049 --> 00:16:11,280
‫A special hybrid of American Beauty.

214
00:16:11,452 --> 00:16:13,682
‫They're very fragrant.

215
00:16:15,723 --> 00:16:20,786
‫Charlotte's karma flirted back
‫in a most unexpected way.

216
00:16:35,109 --> 00:16:40,547
‫Samantha was working out
‫some karmic issues of her own.

217
00:16:40,715 --> 00:16:43,650
‫I came over to apologize
‫for all those calls.

218
00:16:45,019 --> 00:16:48,682
‫Thank you.
‫Anything else؟

219
00:16:48,856 --> 00:16:51,950
‫I've been waiting
‫for a woman like you my whole life.

220
00:16:52,126 --> 00:16:54,890
‫You are the hottest thing
‫I've ever seen.

221
00:17:06,774 --> 00:17:08,742
‫Slow down.

222
00:17:23,091 --> 00:17:25,616
‫Oh, Lord. Oh, my Lord!

223
00:17:25,793 --> 00:17:27,124
‫Here we go.

224
00:17:46,047 --> 00:17:48,174
‫That was awesome.

225
00:17:48,349 --> 00:17:50,249
‫Yes, it was.

226
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,251
‫Sam؟

227
00:17:54,422 --> 00:17:58,188
‫- Yes, Sam؟
‫- I think I love you.

228
00:17:59,394 --> 00:18:03,455
‫Honey, that wasn't love.

229
00:18:03,631 --> 00:18:05,861
‫That was sex.

230
00:18:07,201 --> 00:18:09,169
‫No, ma'am. I...

231
00:18:09,370 --> 00:18:11,361
‫I love you.

232
00:18:14,942 --> 00:18:16,807
‫Time to move.

233
00:18:18,679 --> 00:18:24,515
‫- Do I have to؟
‫- Oh, yes. I've got stuff to do.

234
00:18:27,555 --> 00:18:30,718
‫Goodbye to the sweetest lips
‫I've ever kissed.

235
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,326
‫Bye-bye.

236
00:18:37,265 --> 00:18:40,393
‫Later, the MacDougals
‫were enjoying their cocktail hour,

237
00:18:40,568 --> 00:18:43,799
‫which generally lasted
‫from ۵:۰۰pm to last man standing.

238
00:18:43,971 --> 00:18:47,737
‫- I beat you three sets in a row.
‫- We didn't finish.

239
00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:51,140
‫- It was getting dark as you recall.
‫- Stop bickering.

240
00:18:51,345 --> 00:18:53,336
‫- Sandwiches, ma'am؟
‫- No.

241
00:18:53,514 --> 00:18:55,004
‫No, thank you.

242
00:18:56,017 --> 00:18:58,542
‫I certainly had an interesting day.

243
00:18:58,719 --> 00:19:03,588
‫I went riding. In the afternoon,
‫I took a walk around the property

244
00:19:03,758 --> 00:19:06,784
‫and saw Charlotte
‫kissing the gardener.

245
00:19:10,364 --> 00:19:13,663
‫Charlotte, you're a MacDougal now.

246
00:19:20,842 --> 00:19:26,041
‫Samantha found that the universe
‫had sent her many messages.

247
00:19:26,214 --> 00:19:29,206
‫You have ۳۵ new messages.

248
00:19:29,383 --> 00:19:33,444
‫It's Sam Jones. call me.
‫I can't stop thinking about you.

249
00:19:36,057 --> 00:19:40,221
‫I have to see you tonight.
‫It's really important.

250
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:46,491
‫Sam, it's Sam. I don't think
‫I can live without you, OK؟

251
00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:55,109
‫Are you there, babe؟ I have to see
‫you tonight. It's really important.

252
00:19:57,378 --> 00:19:59,869
‫OK, Sam. It's Sam.

253
00:20:00,047 --> 00:20:04,313
‫Across town, Miranda met
‫her karmic treasure for dinner.

254
00:20:04,485 --> 00:20:07,045
‫After ten years,
‫I made partner two months ago.

255
00:20:07,221 --> 00:20:09,951
‫Or was it three؟ I'm losing track.

256
00:20:10,124 --> 00:20:11,887
‫- Congratulations.
‫- Thank you.

257
00:20:12,059 --> 00:20:16,359
‫- Can I get you another drink؟
‫- Double vodka martini, please.

258
00:20:16,531 --> 00:20:20,433
‫- And you, sir؟
‫- I'm fine.

259
00:20:21,903 --> 00:20:24,736
‫- Would you care to order؟
‫- Could we have a minute؟

260
00:20:25,806 --> 00:20:28,104
‫Take your time.

261
00:20:28,276 --> 00:20:32,940
‫I thought about law school.
‫I loved Columbo so much as a kid...

262
00:20:33,114 --> 00:20:37,676
‫Miranda realized that every woman
‫was staring at her date.

263
00:20:37,885 --> 00:20:41,184
‫Your friend is the typical case
‫that I see on the job.

264
00:20:41,355 --> 00:20:44,950
‫It's not as exciting as you might think.
‫It's not homicide...

265
00:20:45,126 --> 00:20:51,622
‫- She knewwhat they were thinking
‫why is that attractive man with her؟

266
00:20:51,799 --> 00:20:54,859
‫If your friend hadn't lost her shoes,
‫I wouldn't be here.

267
00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:58,199
‫There you go.

268
00:20:58,406 --> 00:21:00,203
‫Thank you.

269
00:21:01,409 --> 00:21:04,901
‫She drank to feel better about herself.

270
00:21:11,986 --> 00:21:17,151
‫Six vodka martinis later,
‫she was feeling pretty damn good.

271
00:21:17,325 --> 00:21:20,317
‫- You're hot.
‫- And you're a little drunk.

272
00:21:20,494 --> 00:21:23,327
‫I'm fine. I'm great.

273
00:21:24,799 --> 00:21:27,063
‫Hot, hot, hot.

274
00:21:27,234 --> 00:21:30,726
‫You may be the most beautiful man
‫that I've ever been with.

275
00:21:30,905 --> 00:21:32,930
‫You're not bad yourself.

276
00:21:33,107 --> 00:21:37,737
‫I'm no Mena Suvari,
‫but I'm great in bed.

277
00:21:43,217 --> 00:21:48,018
‫When Trey didn't come to bed,
‫Charlotte went looking for him.

278
00:21:57,064 --> 00:22:01,296
‫- What are you doing out here؟
‫- Improving my serve.

279
00:22:02,603 --> 00:22:07,063
‫Stop. You're upset,
‫and what I did was so wrong.

280
00:22:07,241 --> 00:22:09,641
‫- I'm sorry.
‫- What can I say؟

281
00:22:09,810 --> 00:22:12,711
‫I'm unable to meet your needs,
‫so from time to time,

282
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:18,011
‫as much as I detest it,
‫I'll have to look the other way.

283
00:22:18,185 --> 00:22:20,653
‫I don't want a husband
‫who looks the other way.

284
00:22:20,821 --> 00:22:24,518
‫I want a husband who makes me
‫not want to kiss the gardener.

285
00:22:36,470 --> 00:22:38,631
‫No marriage is perfect.

286
00:22:40,141 --> 00:22:43,133
‫So much of what we have
‫is wonderful.

287
00:22:43,310 --> 00:22:47,713
‫We can have separate lives
‫and still be together.

288
00:22:47,882 --> 00:22:50,612
‫It's totally acceptable.

289
00:22:50,785 --> 00:22:53,754
‫As Charlotte looked at
‫her perfect husband

290
00:22:53,888 --> 00:22:57,085
‫at their family's
‫perfect country house,

291
00:22:57,258 --> 00:22:59,522
‫she realized
‫the one thing that was missing

292
00:22:59,694 --> 00:23:03,596
‫was that perfect connection
‫with an imperfect person.

293
00:23:06,801 --> 00:23:11,135
‫When we get back to the city,
‫I think we should separate for a while.

294
00:23:14,775 --> 00:23:16,106
‫All righty.

295
00:23:21,916 --> 00:23:27,115
‫Seven unreturned phone calls,
‫and still no response from Natasha.

296
00:23:27,288 --> 00:23:31,156
‫Buddhists believe you pay for what
‫you do wrong in this life in the next.

297
00:23:31,325 --> 00:23:35,455
‫I knewwhat I'd done. I just didn't think
‫I could wait a lifetime to be forgiven.

298
00:23:42,937 --> 00:23:48,500
‫The next morning, Miranda woke up
‫with the worst hangover of her life.

299
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,441
‫Detective Stevens؟

300
00:24:01,422 --> 00:24:06,621
‫On her hall table, she discovered that
‫Detective Stevens had left a number...

301
00:24:07,428 --> 00:24:10,192
‫for her local AA chapter....

302
00:24:11,499 --> 00:24:14,059
‫Samantha got her karmic retribution.

303
00:24:14,235 --> 00:24:17,136
‫I love you, Sam Jones.

304
00:24:17,304 --> 00:24:21,001
‫In screwing Sam Jones,
‫she wound up screwing herself.

305
00:24:21,175 --> 00:24:23,439
‫I love you, Sam Jones.

306
00:24:27,381 --> 00:24:31,715
‫A few days later, Charlotte came
‫home to her old apartment.

307
00:24:31,886 --> 00:24:37,290
‫It was good fortune that she had only
‫sublet it, not to mention good sense.

308
00:24:40,261 --> 00:24:43,697
‫Not wanting to come back
‫in my next life as a dung beetle,

309
00:24:43,864 --> 00:24:46,890
‫I asked Samantha's assistant
‫to pump Natasha's assistant

310
00:24:47,067 --> 00:24:50,036
‫to find out
‫where she was having lunch.

311
00:25:01,148 --> 00:25:03,309
‫I need to talk to you.

312
00:25:03,551 --> 00:25:06,577
‫- I'm gonna scream.
‫- I'm only gonna stay a minute.

313
00:25:06,754 --> 00:25:08,881
‫I tried to call you at work, but...

314
00:25:10,191 --> 00:25:12,421
‫Anyway, it's not important.

315
00:25:14,094 --> 00:25:17,120
‫Can I have a sip of this؟

316
00:25:26,574 --> 00:25:28,269
‫Thanks.

317
00:25:33,781 --> 00:25:36,511
‫I heard about your marriage.

318
00:25:37,885 --> 00:25:42,322
‫It's just so terrible.

319
00:25:43,457 --> 00:25:45,982
‫I never meant
‫for any of this to happen.

320
00:25:46,126 --> 00:25:50,495
‫If there was something
‫I could do to take it away, I would.

321
00:25:50,664 --> 00:25:51,961
‫But I can't.

322
00:25:53,367 --> 00:25:58,270
‫I came here today because
‫I needed to say how sorry I am.

323
00:25:59,373 --> 00:26:02,968
‫I am deeply sorry
‫for what I did to you.

324
00:26:03,477 --> 00:26:05,604
‫It was wrong.

325
00:26:06,447 --> 00:26:08,472
‫I'm sorry.

326
00:26:12,419 --> 00:26:15,217
‫Are you through؟

327
00:26:15,389 --> 00:26:19,291
‫Yes. Thank you for listening.

328
00:26:23,063 --> 00:26:25,054
‫Wait.

329
00:26:26,300 --> 00:26:28,063
‫I'm sorry, too.

330
00:26:29,904 --> 00:26:31,337
‫You are؟

331
00:26:31,505 --> 00:26:35,498
‫Yes. I'm sorry about it all.

332
00:26:37,778 --> 00:26:41,908
‫I'm sorry he moved to Paris
‫and fell in love with me.

333
00:26:42,116 --> 00:26:44,812
‫I'm sorry that we ever got married.

334
00:26:47,121 --> 00:26:49,282
‫I'm sorry he cheated on me with you,

335
00:26:49,456 --> 00:26:53,620
‫and I'm sorry that I pretended
‫to ignore it for as long as I did.

336
00:26:55,462 --> 00:26:57,987
‫I'm sorry I found you in my apartment,

337
00:26:58,165 --> 00:27:00,895
‫fell down the stairs
‫and broke my tooth.

338
00:27:02,770 --> 00:27:06,001
‫I'm very sorry
‫that after much painful dental surgery

339
00:27:06,173 --> 00:27:09,631
‫this tooth is still
‫a different color than this tooth.

340
00:27:10,678 --> 00:27:16,116
‫Finally, I'm sorry that you felt
‫the need to come down here.

341
00:27:16,350 --> 00:27:20,616
‫Not only have you
‫ruined my marriage,

342
00:27:20,788 --> 00:27:23,586
‫you've ruined my lunch.

343
00:27:27,094 --> 00:27:30,393
‫That's just what I had to say.

344
00:27:32,433 --> 00:27:34,697
‫I was just leaving.

345
00:27:37,471 --> 00:27:43,603
‫My actions had set into motion
‫a karmic chain of events

346
00:27:43,777 --> 00:27:46,678
‫that put Natasha
‫back on the singles market.

347
00:27:46,847 --> 00:27:49,645
‫As if single women
‫didn't have it hard enough.

348
00:28:00,995 --> 00:28:04,795
‫Somewhere out there,
‫Big was alone again.

349
00:28:04,965 --> 00:28:07,433
‫The universe may not
‫always play fair,

350
00:28:07,601 --> 00:28:11,093
‫but at least it's got
‫a hell of a sense of humor.