1
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‫۳۱۸ - Cock-A-Doodle-Doo

2
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‫What؟

3
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‫In life, there are
‫all sorts of wake-up calls.

4
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‫But crowing on East ۷۳rd Street

5
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‫was one I was not prepared for.

6
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‫It was my own fault.

7
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‫I'd let my frenzy for a rent-controlled
‫apartment near Barneys,

8
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‫override the fact that it was
‫animal-hospital adjacent.

9
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‫That's the thing about New York - you
‫never know what's around the corner.

10
00:01:50,726 --> 00:01:53,820
‫Or, in Samantha's case,
‫just outside your window.

11
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‫There they were - Samantha's
‫neighborhood transsexual hookers.

12
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‫Half man, half woman,
‫totally annoying.

13
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‫Girl, she got herself
‫a handful with that one!

14
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‫He was all up in my stuff once.

15
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‫I told him to get that thing
‫out of my ass or I'll shit on it.

16
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‫"Get that out my ass, or I'll shit on it. "
‫Is that the dirtiest thing ever؟

17
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‫Let's hope so!

18
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‫I am paying to live in a neighborhood

19
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‫that's trendy by day
‫and tranny by night.

20
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‫- Tranny؟
‫- Transsexuals. Chicks with dicks.

21
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‫Boobs on top, balls down below.

22
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‫- I don't get the appeal there.
‫- It's the other white meat.

23
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‫I understand that pseudo-straight men
‫have to get laid, but not on my block.

24
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‫I thought my chickens were bad.

25
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‫Every morning at ۴:۰۰am they start.
‫It's like they're putting on a show.

26
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‫The "Up-my-ass Players".

27
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‫Too early for tranny talk؟

28
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‫It's so weird to be sitting here
‫eating omelet again

29
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‫like nothing ever happened.

30
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‫It was our first
‫Saturday morning breakfast

31
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‫since Charlotte had left Trey,
‫her husband of three months.

32
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‫I was married.
‫And now, what؟ I'm single again؟

33
00:03:35,931 --> 00:03:40,459
‫- You're not single, just separated.
‫- That's right.

34
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‫I'll never be single again...
‫I'll be divorced.

35
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‫The only thing worse than being ۳۴
‫and single is being ۳۴ and divorced.

36
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‫Thanks.

37
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‫I think it's worse to be ۳۴ and trapped
‫in a marriage that doesn't work.

38
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‫- Did I try hard enough؟
‫- "Hard" is the word.

39
00:03:59,321 --> 00:04:02,654
‫Sweetie, Trey has
‫an impotence problem...

40
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:08,127
‫I am so sick of talking about Trey.
‫I think and talk about Trey all the time.

41
00:04:08,397 --> 00:04:13,425
‫Change the subject, please.
‫Talk about the "up my ass" stuff.

42
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:16,361
‫OK, here's the plan.

43
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‫Sunday, we all come over, have
‫an unpacking party and no Trey-talk.

44
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‫I'll bring the cocktails.

45
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‫I'll bring the food.
‫How about roof-chicken؟

46
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‫Can I help you؟

47
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‫I live around the corner
‫and my window

48
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‫looks over the roof
‫with the chickens and the crowing...

49
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‫- Roosters.
‫- Excuse me؟

50
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‫They are roosters.
‫Roosters crow.

51
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‫Yes, they do.
‫And very loudly.

52
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‫Sorry. We just got them. Rescued
‫from a cockfight in the Bronx.

53
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‫- My God.
‫- I'll move them to the basement.

54
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‫You don't have to do that.
‫They had all that fight-trauma.

55
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‫They need fresh air.
‫I don't want them to be miserable.

56
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‫Don't worry.
‫They have a very lovely life.

57
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‫That's all right. I'll get over it.

58
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‫Thank you for being so nice.

59
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‫Just gonna take one of these
‫for my friend. She has a cat.

60
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‫Are you hungry؟

61
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‫Yeah؟
‫I'm hungry too.

62
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‫- Shanghai Garden. May I help you؟
‫- I'd like to order some take-out.

63
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‫- Address, please.
‫- ۳۳۱ West ۷۸th Street. Apartment ۴F.

64
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‫I'd like to order some chicken
‫with broccoli in a brown...

65
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‫Brown sauce with brown rice.
‫Cold noodles.

66
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‫I know. Every night the same.

67
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‫Right.

68
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‫The Chinese take-out lady
‫thinks I'm pathetic.

69
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‫She said,
‫"Every night, the same thing. "

70
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‫That's a tad bitchy for a take-out lady.

71
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‫- Do you think I'm in a rut؟
‫- A food-rut؟

72
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‫I'm sitting home with my cat, ordering
‫the same thing almost every night.

73
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‫The only thing sadder would be
‫a Cathy Comic on my refrigerator.

74
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‫Never say Cathy Comic to me again.

75
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‫She giggled at me. The take-out lady.

76
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‫Order from someplace else. There's
‫۶۰۰ Chinese places on your block.

77
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‫This place is my favorite. It's easier
‫than figuring out where else to go.

78
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‫Then bear the take-out food shame.

79
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‫There they were.
‫Our ex-boyfriends.

80
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‫What are they doing together؟
‫Are they friends now؟

81
00:07:03,872 --> 00:07:05,737
‫Apparently. This is bad.

82
00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:09,742
‫What do you think
‫they are talking about؟ Their dogs؟

83
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‫Yeah, here's their conversation:
‫"How's your dog؟ Good, yours؟

84
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‫Was that the bitches
‫who ruined our lives؟"

85
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‫They didn't see us.

86
00:07:23,358 --> 00:07:28,955
‫We have a choice. We can run
‫the other way or move in here.

87
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‫We can't run.

88
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‫These shoe-straps will break.

89
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‫- How do I look؟
‫- Good. Great!

90
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‫You look great too.

91
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‫Thank God I didn't wear
‫my drawstring pants.

92
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‫Look who it is!

93
00:08:03,165 --> 00:08:06,965
‫- Another thing about New York
‫who knows who is around the corner؟

94
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‫This is what I like about New York.
‫Street-traffic.

95
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‫Well, look at you.

96
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,412
‫Look who it is, Pete.

97
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‫My God!
‫Look how big he got.

98
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‫He starts college next year.

99
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‫You must be very proud.

100
00:08:33,195 --> 00:08:37,928
‫Two beers at a time. Did we
‫give you guys a drinking problem؟

101
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‫They are not just for us.

102
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‫I'll have nightmares
‫about that ladies room for weeks.

103
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‫Carrie and Miranda,
‫this is Jessica and Susan.

104
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‫Hello.

105
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‫Honey, do you still wanna see
‫the movie or just crash؟

106
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‫I don't care.

107
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‫- We have to go.
‫- Yeah, we gotta go.

108
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‫It was good to see you, Aidan.

109
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‫Come on, this way.

110
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‫That night at Charlotte's - light
‫unpacking and heavy realisations.

111
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‫Well, they're over us.

112
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‫It's just so hilarious.

113
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‫I'm hemorrhaging inside.

114
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‫We thought they were pining
‫and they have new girlfriends already!

115
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‫- Were they cute؟
‫- The point is not if they were cute.

116
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‫The point is, they were there.

117
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‫- They were cute.
‫- Very cute.

118
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‫How can they have
‫new relationships؟

119
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‫I'm still in the "I just broke up
‫with someone" phase.

120
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‫It's infuriating. Women sit around
‫obsessing about what went wrong.

121
00:09:55,711 --> 00:09:58,646
‫Men just say "all righty" and move on.

122
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‫I take offence at that. Not all women
‫sit around and obsess about men.

123
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‫As soon as my relationships
‫are over, I move on.

124
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‫- Relationships؟
‫- You know, dates.

125
00:10:09,725 --> 00:10:16,289
‫I do try to figure out what went wrong.
‫But I don't think that I obsess.

126
00:10:16,465 --> 00:10:19,832
‫You are Miss Obsess. Big؟

127
00:10:21,169 --> 00:10:25,196
‫Big was tricky.
‫I still don't knowwhat happened.

128
00:10:25,373 --> 00:10:28,308
‫You should have
‫a relationship rear-view mirror.

129
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‫Relationships may appear closer
‫than they actually are.

130
00:10:31,947 --> 00:10:36,384
‫I didn't obsess about Aidan.
‫Aidan was clear. He moved on.

131
00:10:36,551 --> 00:10:40,214
‫- It's much easier for men to move on.
‫- Is it؟

132
00:10:40,388 --> 00:10:44,586
‫Please! The ratio of women to men
‫in this city is huge.

133
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‫They can sit outside, have a beer

134
00:10:47,195 --> 00:10:50,255
‫and wait for the Jessicas
‫and Susans to come to them.

135
00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:54,368
‫Maybe we only obsess over
‫relationships that feel unfinished.

136
00:10:54,536 --> 00:10:58,438
‫I can guarantee that Trey
‫isn't sitting around with his friends,

137
00:10:58,607 --> 00:11:00,632
‫obsessing about what went wrong.

138
00:11:00,809 --> 00:11:03,334
‫Men never think anything is their fault.

139
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‫I wish there were no men.

140
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‫Call someone, she's gone insane.

141
00:11:09,017 --> 00:11:11,986
‫If there were no men,
‫then we wouldn't feel hurt.

142
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‫And we wouldn't be disappointed.

143
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‫And we wouldn't be spending
‫our night obsessing about them.

144
00:11:19,361 --> 00:11:21,295
‫I'm so over men.

145
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:26,434
‫What؟ I am.

146
00:11:26,568 --> 00:11:30,470
‫Later that night I got to thinking about
‫men, women and relationships.

147
00:11:30,639 --> 00:11:34,973
‫Or more to the point, howwomen feel
‫men disappoint them in relationships.

148
00:11:35,143 --> 00:11:39,512
‫Then a radical, earth-shattering
‫thought popped into my head.

149
00:11:39,681 --> 00:11:42,616
‫What if everything
‫isn't the man's fault؟

150
00:11:42,784 --> 00:11:45,912
‫After a certain age
‫and a certain number of relationships,

151
00:11:46,154 --> 00:11:50,250
‫if it still isn't working and the ex's
‫seem to be moving on and we don't,

152
00:11:50,425 --> 00:11:52,916
‫perhaps the problem
‫isn't the last boyfriend,

153
00:11:53,094 --> 00:11:56,120
‫or the one before him
‫or even the one before him.

154
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:59,631
‫Could it be
‫that the problem isn't them,

155
00:11:59,801 --> 00:12:03,396
‫but horror of horrors,
‫is it us؟

156
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:08,608
‫Downtown, the "Up-my-ass Players"

157
00:12:08,743 --> 00:12:11,177
‫were in the middle
‫of their late night repertory.

158
00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:15,338
‫"Much Ado About Up My Ass"
‫and "Long Day's Journey Up My Ass".

159
00:12:19,154 --> 00:12:22,487
‫Samantha decided if she was gonna
‫get a good night's sleep,

160
00:12:22,657 --> 00:12:27,151
‫she'd have to test how effective
‫a PR professional she was.

161
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:29,058
‫Ladies, hello.

162
00:12:32,033 --> 00:12:35,161
‫I live right up there,
‫the loft within earshot.

163
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:38,204
‫As much as I respect a woman's right

164
00:12:38,373 --> 00:12:41,900
‫for a little something
‫with certain New Jersey gentlemen,

165
00:12:42,077 --> 00:12:44,045
‫I have a request.

166
00:12:44,212 --> 00:12:46,703
‫I have a very early business meeting.

167
00:12:46,882 --> 00:12:48,975
‫And I think we all know,

168
00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:54,520
‫there are certain dark circles
‫even the best make-up can't cover.

169
00:12:54,689 --> 00:12:56,316
‫Am I right؟

170
00:12:56,491 --> 00:12:59,426
‫Sorry to wake you, baby.
‫We'll take it down here.

171
00:12:59,594 --> 00:13:03,963
‫I appreciate it.
‫By the way, I'm Samantha.

172
00:13:04,165 --> 00:13:06,793
‫- Destiny.
‫- Chyna.

173
00:13:06,968 --> 00:13:10,768
‫- Jo.
‫- No "e". She got the "e" cut off.

174
00:13:13,208 --> 00:13:15,540
‫Those heels are fierce, Miss Girl.

175
00:13:17,545 --> 00:13:19,604
‫Don't I know it.

176
00:13:20,215 --> 00:13:23,082
‫Samantha knew
‫howto get her way with men,

177
00:13:23,218 --> 00:13:24,947
‫even if they were half women.

178
00:13:33,361 --> 00:13:35,158
‫What؟

179
00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:37,457
‫'Rough night؟'

180
00:13:37,632 --> 00:13:39,862
‫- Who is this؟
‫- It's me.

181
00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:46,904
‫I didn't recognize your voice.
‫You sounded different.

182
00:13:47,075 --> 00:13:49,600
‫Did I wake you؟
‫It's only ۱۱:۳۰.

183
00:13:49,778 --> 00:13:53,407
‫No, I was up late working.

184
00:13:53,581 --> 00:13:58,109
‫And there are these chickens
‫that crow on the roof next door.

185
00:13:58,286 --> 00:14:01,221
‫Roosters. Roosters crow.

186
00:14:01,389 --> 00:14:04,984
‫The "Fun On The Farm" fact
‫everyone's aware of but me.

187
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:09,620
‫- So tell me, is red a mistake؟
‫- In what way؟

188
00:14:10,832 --> 00:14:12,732
‫I'm repainting my bedroom.

189
00:14:12,901 --> 00:14:15,802
‫- A red bedroom؟
‫- Just one wall.

190
00:14:15,971 --> 00:14:19,873
‫But I think it's too red.

191
00:14:20,809 --> 00:14:23,369
‫It's like sleeping in communist china.

192
00:14:27,382 --> 00:14:30,681
‫She left... We ended it.

193
00:14:32,754 --> 00:14:36,588
‫- I heard.
‫- You did؟ How؟

194
00:14:37,625 --> 00:14:40,253
‫I think it was on the news.

195
00:14:43,365 --> 00:14:46,766
‫Could we have lunch sometime؟

196
00:14:46,901 --> 00:14:49,301
‫I really need to talk to you.

197
00:14:50,972 --> 00:14:53,133
‫- Please؟
‫- Where؟

198
00:14:53,308 --> 00:14:58,644
‫Boathouse restaurant, Central Park.
‫How about Saturday at ۲:۰۰؟

199
00:15:00,615 --> 00:15:02,913
‫- Carrie؟
‫- I'm nodding.

200
00:15:03,084 --> 00:15:06,247
‫- So I'll see you at ۲:۰۰ then.
‫- Bye.

201
00:15:09,357 --> 00:15:13,817
‫Later that day, I met Miranda
‫at my favorite thrift store,

202
00:15:14,029 --> 00:15:15,929
‫to dig for buried treasure.

203
00:15:16,097 --> 00:15:20,227
‫Do you think I can get away with
‫a "Hang in there, baby" halter top؟

204
00:15:20,402 --> 00:15:24,668
‫Nobody gets away with
‫a "Hang in there, baby" halter top.

205
00:15:24,806 --> 00:15:28,572
‫Do you wanna go to the
‫Hopper exhibit Saturday afternoon؟

206
00:15:28,743 --> 00:15:30,768
‫I can't. I have to work.

207
00:15:37,352 --> 00:15:39,183
‫I lied.
‫I don't have to work.

208
00:15:39,387 --> 00:15:42,720
‫I'm meeting Big for lunch
‫and I didn't think you'd approve.

209
00:15:42,891 --> 00:15:45,724
‫- You're meeting Big؟
‫- He called.

210
00:15:45,894 --> 00:15:50,297
‫- He sounded upset and needs to talk.
‫- Since when does Big talk؟

211
00:15:50,498 --> 00:15:52,762
‫What does that mean؟

212
00:15:56,971 --> 00:15:58,768
‫He's upset about Natasha leaving...

213
00:15:58,973 --> 00:16:02,238
‫I'm not holding your hand
‫through this again.

214
00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:06,005
‫I'm not asking you to hold anything.
‫We're just having lunch.

215
00:16:06,181 --> 00:16:08,149
‫It's a huge mistake.

216
00:16:08,316 --> 00:16:11,217
‫It's not a huge mistake, it's lunch.

217
00:16:11,386 --> 00:16:16,187
‫How many more times are you gonna
‫go through this؟ He is bad for you.

218
00:16:16,357 --> 00:16:21,226
‫Every time you get near him you turn
‫into this pathetic, needy victim.

219
00:16:21,429 --> 00:16:25,160
‫What pisses me off is that you are
‫more than willing to go back for more.

220
00:16:25,366 --> 00:16:29,029
‫I am not going back for more
‫and I can't even believe...

221
00:16:29,237 --> 00:16:31,797
‫I can't believe
‫you would say that to me.

222
00:16:31,973 --> 00:16:35,272
‫- If you start up with Big again...
‫- I am not starting up with Big again.

223
00:16:35,443 --> 00:16:37,968
‫If you do, I don't wanna know
‫anything about it.

224
00:16:38,146 --> 00:16:40,171
‫No calls. No crying.

225
00:16:40,348 --> 00:16:43,249
‫Are you gonna cut me out of your life
‫like you did to Steve؟

226
00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:44,680
‫What؟

227
00:16:44,919 --> 00:16:49,879
‫The first sign of any little weakness
‫and you just write people off.

228
00:16:50,058 --> 00:16:52,788
‫My God, Miranda.
‫You are so judgmental.

229
00:16:53,928 --> 00:16:58,888
‫You can say I'm pathetic and needy
‫and I can't say anything to you؟

230
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:02,161
‫Everybody is not
‫as tough as you, Miranda.

231
00:17:02,370 --> 00:17:05,897
‫People... Some of us make mistakes.

232
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,943
‫That's just perfect.
‫Walk away.

233
00:17:12,914 --> 00:17:15,007
‫It's all my fault.

234
00:17:15,183 --> 00:17:18,448
‫Right there,
‫next to the two for $۵ bin,

235
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:21,054
‫Miranda and I had our first big fight.

236
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,585
‫'You have no messages. '

237
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:36,560
‫I thought by the time I got home,
‫she'd have left an apology.

238
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:43,376
‫I was gonna call her,
‫but wasn't quite sure what to say.

239
00:17:43,545 --> 00:17:45,672
‫Or whose fault it really was.

240
00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:50,609
‫And at the exact
‫same moment across town,

241
00:17:50,785 --> 00:17:54,721
‫Miranda was preparing to make
‫the call she'd been dreading all day.

242
00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:59,986
‫'Shanghai Garden.
‫May I help you؟'

243
00:18:00,161 --> 00:18:02,095
‫I'd like to order some takeout.

244
00:18:02,263 --> 00:18:04,094
‫'Address, please. '

245
00:18:04,265 --> 00:18:08,827
‫۳۳۱ West ۷۸th Street, Apartment ۴F.
‫I'd like some...

246
00:18:09,003 --> 00:18:13,963
‫'Chicken with broccoli, brown sauce,
‫brown rice and cold noodles, right؟'

247
00:18:14,142 --> 00:18:17,373
‫You know what؟
‫I don't need this. Never mind.

248
00:18:17,579 --> 00:18:19,137
‫'OK. Bye-bye. '

249
00:18:19,314 --> 00:18:22,943
‫After she hung up, Miranda couldn't
‫get the giggle out of her head.

250
00:18:23,785 --> 00:18:26,913
‫She decided to walk the two blocks
‫to confront the woman

251
00:18:27,088 --> 00:18:31,047
‫with the judgmental giggle
‫who thought she was better than her.

252
00:18:32,026 --> 00:18:34,995
‫Shanghai Garden.
‫May I help you؟

253
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:40,190
‫OK. Address, please.

254
00:18:40,368 --> 00:18:47,399
‫۲۲۴ West ۷۸th... Sorry, ۷۳.

255
00:18:51,479 --> 00:18:56,143
‫Miranda realized the giggle wasn't
‫about her. It wasn't about anything.

256
00:19:02,523 --> 00:19:06,755
‫It wasn't the noodles that kept her
‫coming back to this restaurant.

257
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:09,954
‫It was the fact that
‫this was their place

258
00:19:10,098 --> 00:19:11,292
‫and it was filled with happy memories.

259
00:19:16,170 --> 00:19:19,367
‫Twice in one week.
‫Am I lucky or what؟

260
00:19:19,507 --> 00:19:24,570
‫- I thought I got custody of this place.
‫- I like their hot and sour soup.

261
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:29,342
‫Are you here by yourself؟
‫Me too. Sit down.

262
00:19:29,517 --> 00:19:33,578
‫I've got this bowl of crunchies
‫that I'll never get through.

263
00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:37,921
‫How are you؟

264
00:19:38,092 --> 00:19:41,186
‫Not good.
‫Carrie and I had a huge fight.

265
00:19:41,362 --> 00:19:43,227
‫About what؟

266
00:19:43,398 --> 00:19:48,802
‫Me, her, you, Big... Me.

267
00:19:53,107 --> 00:19:56,804
‫My judgmental stuff.
‫How bad was it؟

268
00:19:56,978 --> 00:20:01,312
‫- It wasn't good.
‫- I didn't throwyou away. Did I؟

269
00:20:01,449 --> 00:20:04,282
‫- No.
‫- She said I did.

270
00:20:05,286 --> 00:20:10,280
‫Miranda, only you and I really know
‫what happened between you and I.

271
00:20:10,458 --> 00:20:13,325
‫It's nobody else's business.

272
00:20:15,763 --> 00:20:20,632
‫But she said that, huh؟
‫Must've been pretty mad.

273
00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:26,798
‫I didn't say nice things to her either.
‫I just don't want her to get hurt again.

274
00:20:26,974 --> 00:20:29,408
‫So you yelled at her؟

275
00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:32,001
‫Yeah.

276
00:20:34,115 --> 00:20:36,140
‫Sounds about par.

277
00:20:36,351 --> 00:20:38,376
‫I guess your new girlfriend
‫doesn't yell.

278
00:20:38,553 --> 00:20:39,918
‫No.

279
00:20:40,088 --> 00:20:42,147
‫How's that going؟

280
00:20:43,358 --> 00:20:44,791
‫It's ok.

281
00:20:44,959 --> 00:20:49,726
‫- Like to order؟
‫- I'd like the chicken with broccoli...

282
00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:55,901
‫Let me see the menu.
‫I should try something new.

283
00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:58,971
‫You should.
‫Go ahead. Live a little.

284
00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:02,400
‫There is so much.

285
00:21:07,648 --> 00:21:10,082
‫You're so fucking hot.

286
00:21:10,718 --> 00:21:14,484
‫I can't believe they go away for one
‫night and then back three in a row.

287
00:21:14,655 --> 00:21:16,919
‫Forget them. Look at me.

288
00:21:17,959 --> 00:21:20,553
‫I'm sorry. I'm here.

289
00:21:25,299 --> 00:21:28,598
‫Where are those cops؟
‫I called them half an hour ago.

290
00:21:28,770 --> 00:21:32,001
‫Look at me.
‫Let's bring it on home.

291
00:21:33,908 --> 00:21:35,136
‫I can't.

292
00:21:35,309 --> 00:21:38,210
‫- I'm close.
‫- Well, I'm not.

293
00:21:40,314 --> 00:21:43,442
‫The idea that she'd miss
‫a night's sleep pissed Samantha off.

294
00:21:43,684 --> 00:21:47,711
‫The idea that she'd miss an orgasm,
‫was more than she could bear.

295
00:21:48,723 --> 00:21:51,658
‫Shut up, you bitches!
‫I've called the cops.

296
00:21:51,826 --> 00:21:53,691
‫Suck my cock!

297
00:21:53,861 --> 00:21:57,126
‫Keep talking and I'll come down there
‫and cut it off for you.

298
00:21:57,331 --> 00:22:03,167
‫I'd like to see you try, motherfucker.
‫You think we want that BS؟ No way!

299
00:22:07,275 --> 00:22:09,402
‫Are you gonna pull a Lorena Bobbit؟

300
00:22:09,577 --> 00:22:14,173
‫$۷,۰۰۰ a month and I have to put up
‫with a trilogy of fucking trannies؟

301
00:22:14,348 --> 00:22:16,942
‫I don't fucking think so!

302
00:22:17,118 --> 00:22:21,214
‫I am a taxpayer and member of
‫the Women's Business Association.

303
00:22:21,389 --> 00:22:25,189
‫- I don't have to put up with this shit!
‫- Forget them and come back to bed.

304
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:29,352
‫There was nothing anyone could do
‫to stop her. Samantha was obsessed.

305
00:22:29,564 --> 00:22:33,898
‫She had a date with Destiny,
‫Chyna and Jo, no "e".

306
00:22:34,068 --> 00:22:36,093
‫Take this, ladies!

307
00:22:38,706 --> 00:22:42,005
‫I'm gonna come up there
‫and kick your ass, bitch!

308
00:22:45,346 --> 00:22:48,110
‫Get off my hair now!

309
00:22:50,885 --> 00:22:53,752
‫'Move it along, girls. '

310
00:22:53,888 --> 00:22:57,824
‫You heard the man, move it along.

311
00:22:59,494 --> 00:23:01,985
‫Hey, where are you going؟

312
00:23:02,163 --> 00:23:04,927
‫Home. You freak me out.

313
00:23:06,734 --> 00:23:10,226
‫And Uptown, Charlotte was
‫a bit freaked out as well.

314
00:23:10,404 --> 00:23:12,565
‫Unable to sleep
‫and unable to unpack,

315
00:23:12,740 --> 00:23:17,404
‫she was with the only man
‫she could tolerate - The Dalai Lama.

316
00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:21,740
‫- Charlotte؟ It's me.
‫- Trey؟

317
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:28,384
‫What are you doing here؟
‫It's ۴:۰۰am.

318
00:23:28,556 --> 00:23:32,686
‫I sawyour light on from the street.
‫I figured you'd still be up.

319
00:23:32,860 --> 00:23:34,885
‫What do you want؟

320
00:23:35,129 --> 00:23:38,189
‫Ever since you left,
‫I can't stop thinking about you.

321
00:23:41,168 --> 00:23:44,001
‫- Honey, we're separated.
‫- I know.

322
00:23:46,140 --> 00:23:50,634
‫Once Charlotte swore off men,
‫this man couldn't get enough of her.

323
00:23:56,884 --> 00:24:00,786
‫He wasn't a rooster and it wasn't
‫the Bronx but from deep inside,

324
00:24:00,955 --> 00:24:03,253
‫Trey's cock began to crow.

325
00:24:07,728 --> 00:24:10,561
‫Across town, I was still wide awake.

326
00:24:10,731 --> 00:24:13,825
‫I couldn't get my fight with Miranda
‫out of my head.

327
00:24:14,035 --> 00:24:19,439
‫I was not only capable of obsessing
‫about relationships with men,

328
00:24:19,607 --> 00:24:23,873
‫I was capable of obsessing
‫about relationships with women.

329
00:24:36,757 --> 00:24:39,817
‫East Side Animal Shelter.
‫Please leave a message.

330
00:24:39,994 --> 00:24:43,395
‫This is your neighbor
‫who complained about the chickens.

331
00:24:43,564 --> 00:24:47,898
‫I can't take it any more.
‫Move them in. Thanks.

332
00:24:48,769 --> 00:24:52,728
‫I figured if they had a lovely life,
‫I was entitled to the same thing.

333
00:24:57,612 --> 00:24:58,738
‫Well...

334
00:25:00,348 --> 00:25:02,612
‫All righty.

335
00:25:02,783 --> 00:25:05,411
‫I knewthat was in me somewhere.

336
00:25:05,586 --> 00:25:07,451
‫You did؟

337
00:25:08,556 --> 00:25:11,787
‫I just hadn't felt it since before...

338
00:25:14,028 --> 00:25:17,259
‫Why did you stop yourself؟
‫Before what؟

339
00:25:17,431 --> 00:25:19,991
‫Since before we got engaged.

340
00:25:20,701 --> 00:25:22,566
‫Oh.

341
00:25:22,737 --> 00:25:25,137
‫Yeah. Oh.

342
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:30,069
‫Do you think our whole problem
‫had to do with the fact that...

343
00:25:32,346 --> 00:25:34,610
‫What؟

344
00:25:34,782 --> 00:25:36,579
‫Say it.

345
00:25:37,585 --> 00:25:40,816
‫- You didn't really wanna marry me.
‫- No.

346
00:25:43,457 --> 00:25:48,087
‫I think it may be due to the fact that
‫I didn't want to get married at all.

347
00:25:48,262 --> 00:25:52,756
‫- Then why did you؟
‫- I guess I thought it was time.

348
00:25:52,933 --> 00:25:57,893
‫I'm of a certain age,
‫people expect you to get married.

349
00:25:58,072 --> 00:26:01,803
‫Yes, well... That sounds familiar.

350
00:26:03,110 --> 00:26:05,977
‫- One other thing...
‫- What؟

351
00:26:07,214 --> 00:26:09,409
‫I married you because I knew

352
00:26:09,550 --> 00:26:12,314
‫I'd never find anyone
‫as wonderful as you to marry.

353
00:26:44,952 --> 00:26:47,682
‫He may have gone away,
‫the pre-op transsexual,

354
00:26:47,855 --> 00:26:50,585
‫but he came back, loaded with eggs.

355
00:26:51,325 --> 00:26:53,555
‫Nowwho's laughing, bitch؟

356
00:26:54,929 --> 00:26:58,262
‫Samantha knewthis was
‫one relationship with a man

357
00:26:58,399 --> 00:27:00,390
‫she couldn't walk away from.

358
00:27:00,568 --> 00:27:03,435
‫Because this man was half woman.

359
00:27:06,941 --> 00:27:10,502
‫- Good, you're there.
‫- I was just gonna call you.

360
00:27:10,644 --> 00:27:12,839
‫Do you really think I'm pathetic؟

361
00:27:13,013 --> 00:27:16,779
‫No, I'm so sorry.
‫I don't think you're pathetic at all.

362
00:27:16,951 --> 00:27:19,886
‫I'm outside the restaurant,
‫hiding in some bushes.

363
00:27:20,054 --> 00:27:22,181
‫Do you still not think I'm pathetic؟

364
00:27:23,624 --> 00:27:25,990
‫'I knowyou think it's a huge mistake. '

365
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,425
‫It's just something I feel
‫I need to do to move on.

366
00:27:29,597 --> 00:27:33,431
‫Don't listen to me. I have no idea
‫what's right for you and Big.

367
00:27:33,601 --> 00:27:38,595
‫But if I'm wrong and it is a mistake,
‫I need to know you'll be there for me.

368
00:27:38,773 --> 00:27:40,263
‫I'm there.

369
00:27:40,441 --> 00:27:44,172
‫I'm going in.
‫Any last minute advice؟

370
00:27:44,345 --> 00:27:48,247
‫Don't let him kiss you. That seems
‫to be where you get into trouble.

371
00:27:49,917 --> 00:27:52,579
‫- 'Carrie؟'
‫- I'm nodding.

372
00:28:09,804 --> 00:28:11,362
‫Hello, you.

373
00:28:12,540 --> 00:28:14,167
‫Hello, you.

374
00:28:18,145 --> 00:28:19,976
‫It's good to see you.

375
00:28:35,196 --> 00:28:37,096
‫Are you OK؟

376
00:28:39,633 --> 00:28:42,397
‫My hair is in a duck pond.

377
00:28:42,570 --> 00:28:44,401
‫My Dior purse.

378
00:28:44,605 --> 00:28:46,197
‫I'll get it.

379
00:28:50,211 --> 00:28:53,408
‫Oh, my God! What is that؟

380
00:29:01,088 --> 00:29:04,546
‫- Howwas your shower؟
‫- I no longer smell of pond.

381
00:29:09,597 --> 00:29:12,657
‫Exactly how many
‫terry-cloth robes do you have؟

382
00:29:12,900 --> 00:29:16,358
‫- Three or four.
‫- Oh, three or four.

383
00:29:18,772 --> 00:29:21,639
‫I swore I would never be in this room
‫with you again.

384
00:29:21,809 --> 00:29:25,973
‫You said to take you
‫to the nearest shower.

385
00:29:29,817 --> 00:29:32,149
‫That is one red wall.

386
00:29:32,319 --> 00:29:35,152
‫Yes, it's red.

387
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,492
‫I gotta ask you a question.

388
00:29:45,833 --> 00:29:49,667
‫- Was it all my fault؟
‫- No.

389
00:29:51,405 --> 00:29:53,566
‫It wasn't all your fault.

390
00:29:53,741 --> 00:29:57,643
‫We really screwed that up.
‫What were we thinking؟

391
00:29:59,246 --> 00:30:01,271
‫I have no idea.

392
00:30:02,049 --> 00:30:05,815
‫Fuck. I was counting on you
‫for answers.

393
00:30:11,992 --> 00:30:15,120
‫- How are you doing, kid؟
‫- Pretty good. How are you doing؟

394
00:30:15,296 --> 00:30:16,820
‫Good.

395
00:30:16,997 --> 00:30:20,398
‫Aside from the fact
‫I feel like I've been through a war.

396
00:30:21,402 --> 00:30:26,806
‫Really, we're like war buddies.
‫War buddies in Calvin Klein robes.

397
00:30:31,378 --> 00:30:36,281
‫I hate to admit this,
‫but I kind of like living alone again.

398
00:30:39,820 --> 00:30:42,482
‫Why doesn't that surprise me؟

399
00:30:50,764 --> 00:30:55,224
‫- I should go.
‫- Don't you want to stay a while؟

400
00:30:55,402 --> 00:30:57,267
‫I can't.

401
00:30:57,471 --> 00:30:59,462
‫Why؟

402
00:31:02,376 --> 00:31:04,776
‫Because, sweet friend,

403
00:31:04,945 --> 00:31:08,506
‫you and I are like that red wall.

404
00:31:09,750 --> 00:31:14,881
‫It's a good idea in theory.
‫But somehow, it doesn't quite work.

405
00:31:20,260 --> 00:31:23,821
‫And just like that, I realized
‫Big and I weren't "us" any more.

406
00:31:23,998 --> 00:31:29,459
‫We had become something else.
‫What it was, I had no idea.

407
00:31:48,055 --> 00:31:50,250
‫'You have one new message. '

408
00:31:50,424 --> 00:31:54,827
‫(Miranda) It's me. I'm wondering how
‫it went. Call me when you get home.

409
00:32:08,008 --> 00:32:12,240
‫I had no idea where the chickens had
‫gone, but I hoped it wasn't the Bronx.

410
00:32:12,413 --> 00:32:14,404
‫And I hoped they were happy.

411
00:32:21,989 --> 00:32:23,854
‫Who wants a wiener؟

412
00:32:24,024 --> 00:32:26,049
‫Girl, I'm trying to get rid of one.

413
00:32:26,894 --> 00:32:30,830
‫The next Saturday, Samantha decided
‫to throw a kiss and make up party

414
00:32:30,998 --> 00:32:33,193
‫for the "Up-my-ass Players".

415
00:32:33,367 --> 00:32:36,495
‫Trey called me three times last week.
‫He's dying to get back together.

416
00:32:36,670 --> 00:32:40,071
‫But I don't know.
‫Is that wise؟

417
00:32:41,075 --> 00:32:44,442
‫- I'm obsessing again, aren't I؟
‫- A bit.

418
00:32:44,611 --> 00:32:46,602
‫So, what are we all drinking؟

419
00:32:46,780 --> 00:32:49,943
‫"Flirtinis. " Vodka, pineapple
‫and champagne.

420
00:32:50,117 --> 00:32:51,982
‫Flirtinis.

421
00:32:52,152 --> 00:32:56,486
‫- Destiny made them.
‫- I'm past a Flirtini. I need a "Fucktini".

422
00:32:56,657 --> 00:32:59,091
‫Watch your language.
‫There are ladies present.

423
00:32:59,259 --> 00:33:01,193
‫Where؟

424
00:33:02,129 --> 00:33:06,623
‫- You with the flower.
‫- Are you talking to me؟

425
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,701
‫It's you, girl. Come on.

426
00:33:11,939 --> 00:33:15,272
‫- What do you want؟
‫- I want you to give me a swirl.

427
00:33:15,442 --> 00:33:18,002
‫I need to see you spin first, sister.

428
00:33:22,583 --> 00:33:26,451
‫- Is that good enough؟
‫- Give me the shake.

429
00:33:27,754 --> 00:33:30,848
‫Don't mind the weight.
‫Eat something.

430
00:33:40,767 --> 00:33:44,533
‫Don't worry,
‫they have a very lovely life.