1
00:00:01,696 --> 00:00:40,696
‫۳۰۵ - No Ifs, And Or Butts

2
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‫one reason Why people still risk

3
00:00:51,033 --> 00:00:53,160
‫the possible horror of a first date,

4
00:00:53,335 --> 00:00:57,567
‫is the possible magic of
‫the good-night kiss at the front door.

5
00:00:58,173 --> 00:01:00,573
‫I had a great time.

6
00:01:00,743 --> 00:01:02,040
‫so did I.

7
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‫The world slows down for a second

8
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‫as some people take that hopeful lean
‫into a possible future together.

9
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‫All around my mouth.

10
00:01:25,734 --> 00:01:27,565
‫HoW do you think I felt؟

11
00:01:27,736 --> 00:01:29,636
‫His tongue licked my teeth.

12
00:01:29,772 --> 00:01:32,036
‫Did he Wanna fuck you or floss you؟

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‫Bad kissers are the worst.

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‫The worst. The top of the worst.

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‫He has sWeet lips.
‫I thought he,d be a good kisser.

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00:01:39,915 --> 00:01:42,440
‫You can never tell. They look normal.

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‫Until their pointy tongue
‫darts in and out.

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‫Pointy tongue, the Worst of the Worst.

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‫The Worst is When they expect you

20
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‫to do the Work.

21
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‫Their tongue lays in your mouth

22
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‫like a clam.

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‫clam-mouth. That,s the Worst.

24
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‫I,d say... Get it out, put it in a cab
‫and take its lazy ass home....

25
00:02:03,238 --> 00:02:06,298
‫- You,d dump a guy for a bad kiss؟
‫- You have to.

26
00:02:06,442 --> 00:02:10,105
‫If their tongue just lays there,
‫What is their dick gonna do؟

27
00:02:10,279 --> 00:02:11,610
‫point taken.

28
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‫Maybe We can Work on it.

29
00:02:13,949 --> 00:02:16,918
‫A bad kisser is a non-negotiable.

30
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‫I'm not dumping Brad because of that.

31
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‫Then change his name

32
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‫from Brad to Bad.

33
00:02:24,626 --> 00:02:27,026
‫I like him. well, I did until...

34
00:02:27,196 --> 00:02:29,892
‫Until his tongue
‫Was in your stomach؟

35
00:02:30,899 --> 00:02:34,892
‫can you ladies hold it doWn؟
‫This is a respectable restaurant.

36
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‫Adeena williams Was my neWspaper,s
‫former food editor.

37
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‫And the chef and oWner of Fusion,

38
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‫Whose specialty Was a mingling
‫of trendy food with soul food.

39
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‫Martha steWart meets
‫Puff Daddy on a plate.

40
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‫poached salmon with okra...

41
00:02:50,819 --> 00:02:52,912
‫Heaven.

42
00:02:53,055 --> 00:02:56,115
‫This time next year,
‫okra will be so fashionable.

43
00:02:58,293 --> 00:03:01,194
‫we are leaving.
‫come and say goodbye.

44
00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:06,859
‫This is my brother, Who brings me
‫tons of music industry business.

45
00:03:08,403 --> 00:03:10,871
‫I gotta go, but I,m sending dessert.

46
00:03:11,039 --> 00:03:13,303
‫- No.
‫- pecan and praline pie.

47
00:03:13,475 --> 00:03:14,464
‫Yes!

48
00:03:15,511 --> 00:03:18,947
‫Didn't we meet at the columbia
‫Records party for Jennifer Lopez؟

49
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‫I don,t think so. My PR firm handled it.
‫I,m sure I,d have remembered you.

50
00:03:24,887 --> 00:03:28,050
‫I guess I just saWyou.
‫chivon williams, I used to rep for...

51
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‫Tommy Boy Records.
‫I remember from the guest list.

52
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‫- You,re good.
‫- samantha Jones, if you need me...

53
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‫for a party.

54
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‫Ladies, I apologize for interrupting.
‫Have a pleasant evening.

55
00:03:48,977 --> 00:03:50,877
‫could he any be cuter؟

56
00:03:51,046 --> 00:03:53,310
‫Gotta love a fella
‫Who loves jeWellery.

57
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‫That is one fine-looking man.
‫I,d like some of that.

58
00:03:57,486 --> 00:04:00,819
‫- Don't talk like that.
‫- Like what؟

59
00:04:00,989 --> 00:04:06,427
‫Relax with the liberal reaction.
‫That's not black talk. It's sex talk.

60
00:04:06,595 --> 00:04:11,430
‫First of all, it isn,t black talk.
‫It,s African-American talk.

61
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:15,730
‫You shouldn,t be talking like that.
‫It,s rude and politically incorrect.

62
00:04:15,904 --> 00:04:18,532
‫samantha is rude
‫and politically incorrect.

63
00:04:18,707 --> 00:04:21,574
‫- she,s an equal opportunity offender.
‫- Precisely.

64
00:04:21,743 --> 00:04:24,268
‫I don't see color. I see conquests.

65
00:04:24,446 --> 00:04:26,505
‫Talk about affirmative action.

66
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‫The next day I had just settled doWn
‫with a cup of fresh coffee

67
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‫and a coffee table
‫full of fashion magazines, When...

68
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‫- who is it؟
‫- Mr Right.

69
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‫Have you seen
‫The NeW York Times... style section؟...

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‫I can't handle hard news before noon.

71
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‫There,s a beautiful man doWntoWn,
‫selling furniture. we,re going.

72
00:04:50,439 --> 00:04:53,670
‫I got a Whole afternoon planned
‫with Australian... vogue....

73
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‫I,m not gonna drop everything
‫to go to see some cute guy.

74
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‫- He,s straight.
‫- I,ll get my purse.

75
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‫People with nothing better to do
‫than ogle some craftsman. Pathetic.

76
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‫Look at this place.
‫Nothing but baguettes and faggots.

77
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‫If you see anything you like, say
‫you,re a designer. You get a discount.

78
00:05:17,499 --> 00:05:22,061
‫- I got $۵۰ off my end table.
‫- You,re a classy guy.

79
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‫His name was Aidan shaw.

80
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‫He Was Warm, masculine and
‫classic American. Like his furniture.

81
00:05:32,881 --> 00:05:34,849
‫The dog is overkill.

82
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‫- Go get him.
‫- Excuse me؟

83
00:05:37,786 --> 00:05:41,882
‫He,s perfect for you. I,ll visit you
‫and the kids at your cabin up state.

84
00:05:42,090 --> 00:05:44,581
‫we,re staring. Look aWay.

85
00:05:44,726 --> 00:05:46,694
‫His name Was Marty Mendleson.

86
00:05:46,862 --> 00:05:50,798
‫He Was Warm, stylish and classic gay.
‫Like his outfit.

87
00:05:50,966 --> 00:05:53,264
‫He,s a designer.
‫And single.

88
00:05:53,435 --> 00:05:57,872
‫Go get him. I,ll come visit you
‫in your cabin up state.

89
00:06:02,778 --> 00:06:05,008
‫Hey, doggie. Hi.

90
00:06:12,054 --> 00:06:14,545
‫Bad doggie. DoWn.

91
00:06:17,092 --> 00:06:18,923
‫Pete, there you go.

92
00:06:20,829 --> 00:06:23,127
‫You should get him a cheWtoy.

93
00:06:23,732 --> 00:06:26,633
‫To his credit,
‫he picks the best-looking ladies.

94
00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:29,168
‫You can,t imagine hoWflattered I am.

95
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‫- I'm Aidan.
‫- I'm humiliated.

96
00:06:31,740 --> 00:06:34,231
‫I shouldn't let him run loose
‫in the store.

97
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‫This is your store؟
‫I had no idea.

98
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‫when I heard the lie come out
‫of my mouth, I kneW I Was interested.

99
00:06:47,622 --> 00:06:51,149
‫- This is a beautiful chair.
‫- This is my favorite piece.

100
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‫You say that about every piece, right؟

101
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‫Not really.
‫This leather is about ۱۰۰ years old.

102
00:06:57,699 --> 00:07:02,136
‫I stripped it off
‫an old railroad car seat. Feel this.

103
00:07:07,509 --> 00:07:10,137
‫- soft؟
‫- I,ll take it.

104
00:07:10,312 --> 00:07:13,440
‫I Wasn,t really in the market
‫for a leather chair.

105
00:07:13,615 --> 00:07:17,244
‫But I had to have
‫Whatever it Was I just felt.

106
00:07:18,954 --> 00:07:23,982
‫I,m a designer. carrie BradshaW.
‫carrie BradshaW Designs.

107
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‫Let,s see. with the designer discount
‫and dog humiliation factor...

108
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‫How's that؟

109
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‫- How soon can it be delivered؟
‫- End of the week.

110
00:07:40,842 --> 00:07:44,710
‫In NeW York city retail lingo,
‫that meant... I like you too....

111
00:07:45,447 --> 00:07:50,350
‫where do you Want it delivered
‫and can I take you out for dinner؟

112
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‫will you knock another $۱۰ off؟

113
00:07:54,723 --> 00:07:59,092
‫The dog humping aside, it Was one of
‫those perfect NeW York saturdays.

114
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‫I'm back!

115
00:08:00,862 --> 00:08:04,855
‫At Miranda,s, steve Was having
‫an even better saturday.

116
00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:07,695
‫- Guess What happened؟ It,s so great!
‫- what؟

117
00:08:07,869 --> 00:08:09,894
‫You knoW at the Knicks game,

118
00:08:10,071 --> 00:08:13,131
‫somebody makes a half-court shot
‫for a million dollars؟

119
00:08:13,308 --> 00:08:18,473
‫- Kind of, but go ahead.
‫- Next Tuesday, it,s me.

120
00:08:18,647 --> 00:08:22,139
‫They picked my name from
‫the contest I entered at sam Goodies.

121
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‫Great!

122
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‫It,s not great.
‫A million dollars. It,s fucking great.

123
00:08:31,726 --> 00:08:33,751
‫It is fucking great.

124
00:08:33,929 --> 00:08:37,660
‫But don,t get your hopes up.
‫It,s a tough shot, isn,t it؟

125
00:08:37,833 --> 00:08:40,996
‫For other guys,
‫but they don,t have my moves.

126
00:08:43,538 --> 00:08:46,598
‫The problem is
‫you don,t knoW hoW good I am.

127
00:08:46,775 --> 00:08:49,073
‫Don,t let these legs fool you.
‫I,m great.

128
00:08:49,244 --> 00:08:51,109
‫I like your little legs.

129
00:08:51,279 --> 00:08:54,271
‫Let,s go to the playground.
‫I,ll shoWyou.

130
00:08:54,482 --> 00:08:57,940
‫No, please. I believe you.
‫You,ve got the moves.

131
00:08:58,119 --> 00:09:01,452
‫I don,t Want no charity.
‫seeing is believing.

132
00:09:01,623 --> 00:09:05,650
‫Next Week, come to the playground
‫and Watch me shoot. Promise؟

133
00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:08,091
‫promise؟

134
00:09:10,265 --> 00:09:15,669
‫- That,s Ralph Lauren paint.
‫- I,ll buy you more. I,m a millionaire.

135
00:09:17,606 --> 00:09:19,870
‫I have a crush.

136
00:09:20,041 --> 00:09:21,941
‫- Yeah؟
‫- Yeah.

137
00:09:22,110 --> 00:09:25,773
‫You haven,t had a crush in a While.
‫Not since Big.

138
00:09:25,947 --> 00:09:28,177
‫Big Wasn,t a crush, he Was a crash.

139
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:36,786
‫His name is Aidan.
‫And I believe him to be very cute.

140
00:09:37,626 --> 00:09:42,188
‫so cute, I bought a chair I couldn,t
‫afford just because he made it.

141
00:09:42,430 --> 00:09:44,660
‫Did he ask you out؟

142
00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:47,063
‫so the chair is a Write-off.

143
00:09:47,269 --> 00:09:50,204
‫I haven,t had a crush
‫since sean cassidy.

144
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:51,361
‫No Way.

145
00:09:51,539 --> 00:09:55,168
‫At this age I,d have to say
‫I,m crush-proof.

146
00:09:55,343 --> 00:09:57,277
‫what about steve؟

147
00:09:57,445 --> 00:10:02,075
‫I forgot about my boyfriend.
‫Is that normal؟

148
00:10:02,250 --> 00:10:03,945
‫You,re asking me؟

149
00:10:04,119 --> 00:10:06,781
‫steve thinks he,s gonna win
‫a million dollars.

150
00:10:06,955 --> 00:10:10,550
‫- You told me.
‫- I have to repeat it until I believe it.

151
00:10:10,759 --> 00:10:14,024
‫It,s totally illogical
‫and he Wants me to be supportive.

152
00:10:14,195 --> 00:10:18,757
‫It's a half-court shot.
‫There are Knicks who can't make it.

153
00:10:18,934 --> 00:10:25,203
‫I would support a real dream,
‫like opening his own bar. This is silly.

154
00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:29,571
‫Isn,t that What you couples do,
‫support each other,s silly dreams؟

155
00:10:29,744 --> 00:10:31,769
‫You,re asking me؟

156
00:10:34,115 --> 00:10:37,107
‫That Week, chivon invited samantha
‫to go uptoWn

157
00:10:37,285 --> 00:10:39,719
‫and hear an artist
‫he Was thinking of signing.

158
00:10:39,888 --> 00:10:42,550
‫Back in the line, motherfucker.

159
00:10:50,865 --> 00:10:53,925
‫Although samantha
‫had been in the club scene for years,

160
00:10:54,102 --> 00:10:59,563
‫she,d never been asked to spread
‫without being offered a cocktail.

161
00:11:03,979 --> 00:11:05,810
‫This is DJ oldman.

162
00:11:05,981 --> 00:11:10,281
‫In a matter of minutes, samantha
‫felt at home in chivon,s World.

163
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:13,319
‫Hi, guys. I,m samantha.

164
00:11:14,389 --> 00:11:18,792
‫In a matter of hours, chivon Was
‫at home in samantha,s home.

165
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,396
‫Do you like this groove؟
‫It,s the neW kid.

166
00:11:22,564 --> 00:11:26,159
‫It,s so soft.
‫I thought all rap had a harder edge.

167
00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:29,895
‫They can be hard or soft, like you.

168
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:34,306
‫You have so much attitude up front.

169
00:11:34,943 --> 00:11:38,811
‫Look at you noW. soft, sWeet...

170
00:11:39,514 --> 00:11:41,709
‫sWeet, me؟

171
00:11:42,751 --> 00:11:45,242
‫who do you think you,re fooling؟

172
00:11:49,824 --> 00:11:54,887
‫I don,t usually sleep with men
‫Who have nicer accessories than me.

173
00:11:55,063 --> 00:11:58,294
‫where did you get
‫these fabulous earrings؟

174
00:11:58,466 --> 00:11:59,763
‫Tiffany.

175
00:11:59,934 --> 00:12:01,959
‫where else؟

176
00:12:03,838 --> 00:12:06,068
‫I hope you can sleep in a little.

177
00:12:07,142 --> 00:12:09,007
‫sleep؟

178
00:12:10,311 --> 00:12:13,007
‫samantha rarely asked a man
‫to stay over,

179
00:12:13,181 --> 00:12:17,015
‫but she couldn,t resist
‫having breakfast with his Tiffanies.

180
00:12:17,952 --> 00:12:22,355
‫one reason some people still risk
‫the possible horror of a first date,

181
00:12:22,557 --> 00:12:26,584
‫is the possible magic of
‫the good-night kiss at the front door.

182
00:12:26,761 --> 00:12:29,525
‫My dog is obsessed with you.

183
00:12:29,697 --> 00:12:33,895
‫He kept me up talking all night.
‫Her leg, man.......

184
00:12:35,370 --> 00:12:39,898
‫I had to say,
‫Pete, let her go. It,s over.......

185
00:12:43,678 --> 00:12:46,078
‫I have a confession to make...

186
00:12:48,716 --> 00:12:51,742
‫I,m not a designer. I,m a Writer.

187
00:12:53,655 --> 00:12:56,556
‫what Was that؟
‫Fiction؟

188
00:12:56,758 --> 00:13:01,388
‫I Wanted the discount.
‫It,s shameful, but true.

189
00:13:02,697 --> 00:13:07,134
‫But don,t Worry,
‫I only lie about furniture, nothing else.

190
00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:11,067
‫Are you upset؟

191
00:13:12,941 --> 00:13:15,068
‫You smoke؟

192
00:13:16,478 --> 00:13:18,673
‫Just a little.

193
00:13:18,847 --> 00:13:23,181
‫when the lie came out of my mouth,
‫I realised hoW much I liked him.

194
00:13:23,351 --> 00:13:25,376
‫If it bothers you, I,ll just...

195
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:31,491
‫I had a great time.

196
00:13:42,537 --> 00:13:47,167
‫- I can taste that cigarette.
‫- I,m sorry, I have an Altoid.

197
00:13:49,344 --> 00:13:51,141
‫I think you,re...

198
00:13:51,346 --> 00:13:57,114
‫I totally get it. I have a mint here.
‫They are curiously strong.

199
00:13:58,453 --> 00:14:01,684
‫- can you just hold that؟
‫- sure.

200
00:14:01,856 --> 00:14:06,486
‫I don,t Wanna be a jerk,
‫but I can,t date a smoker.

201
00:14:10,431 --> 00:14:13,958
‫so... Really؟

202
00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:18,572
‫It,s a thing I have.

203
00:14:18,773 --> 00:14:23,176
‫I couldn,t believe What my crush
‫Was saying. I Was crushed.

204
00:14:23,344 --> 00:14:25,539
‫Later that night, I Wondered...

205
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,308
‫when did dating become
‫so dump-friendly؟

206
00:14:28,516 --> 00:14:31,815
‫what happened to the time
‫When a bad kiss or a cigarette

207
00:14:31,986 --> 00:14:35,353
‫or a ridiculous dream
‫Was part of a person,s portfolio؟

208
00:14:35,523 --> 00:14:39,084
‫In today,s dating market,
‫is it wise to liquidate certain stocks,

209
00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:42,559
‫the first sign they might not perform
‫as Well as expected؟

210
00:14:42,730 --> 00:14:45,722
‫or are there things
‫one should try and negotiate؟

211
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:49,836
‫In relationships,
‫What are the... deal breakers...؟

212
00:14:50,838 --> 00:14:55,138
‫I think it,s really sexy When you
‫lightly touch your lips to mine.

213
00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:58,370
‫Never one to trade a stock
‫before it had matured,

214
00:14:58,546 --> 00:15:02,846
‫a determined and patient charlotte
‫tried to teach Bad hoW to kiss good.

215
00:15:03,017 --> 00:15:05,679
‫You like that؟

216
00:15:06,487 --> 00:15:10,446
‫And I like it When you
‫slowly open your mouth...

217
00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:14,789
‫and just tickle my lips
‫with the tip of your tongue.

218
00:15:22,036 --> 00:15:23,970
‫You like that؟

219
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:31,304
‫with just a little negotiating,
‫Brad,s stock suddenly began to rise.

220
00:15:39,587 --> 00:15:41,020
‫stop it!

221
00:15:41,189 --> 00:15:45,353
‫You,re sucking too hard.
‫And my mouth is up here.

222
00:15:45,526 --> 00:15:51,692
‫- Is there a problem؟
‫- I can't do this. You're a bad kisser.

223
00:15:51,866 --> 00:15:53,925
‫It,s my thing.

224
00:15:56,804 --> 00:15:58,669
‫where are you going؟

225
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,240
‫DoWntoWn at Marty Mendleson,s,

226
00:16:01,409 --> 00:16:05,311
‫others Were experiencing
‫a much more successful first kiss.

227
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:07,505
‫Let's move it to the bedroom.

228
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:23,121
‫These are my dolls.
‫I,ve been collecting them for years.

229
00:16:23,298 --> 00:16:25,323
‫I had no idea.

230
00:16:26,701 --> 00:16:31,297
‫This... is the Queen of siam.

231
00:16:32,106 --> 00:16:33,801
‫she,s my favorite.

232
00:16:33,975 --> 00:16:37,706
‫Bisque china face.
‫she,s a real collector,s item.

233
00:16:40,048 --> 00:16:44,542
‫And this... is Mary, Queen of scots.

234
00:16:47,522 --> 00:16:51,618
‫- Are they all queens؟
‫- The ones from Madame Alexander,s.

235
00:16:53,895 --> 00:16:56,455
‫Help me clear the bed؟

236
00:17:01,302 --> 00:17:04,863
‫No, the southern Belle
‫sits on the table.

237
00:17:07,442 --> 00:17:12,311
‫was stanford enough of a queen to
‫sleep with one Who collected queens؟

238
00:17:13,147 --> 00:17:16,981
‫UptoWn at Fusion, samantha felt
‫a bit like a queen herself.

239
00:17:17,151 --> 00:17:20,643
‫Did I tell you
‫hoW beautiful you look tonight؟

240
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:21,982
‫Thank you.

241
00:17:23,658 --> 00:17:25,853
‫what,s up, genius؟

242
00:17:26,027 --> 00:17:30,157
‫Genius, over-tired ass
‫is dragging all over this restaurant.

243
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:35,530
‫Aunt Alice and her friends are leaving,
‫if you Want to pay your respects.

244
00:17:35,703 --> 00:17:37,762
‫Favorite aunt. I,ll introduce you.

245
00:17:37,972 --> 00:17:43,501
‫Aunt Alice is out of the door already.
‫You go and I,ll talk with samantha.

246
00:17:52,186 --> 00:17:54,017
‫HoW is everything؟

247
00:17:54,188 --> 00:17:57,021
‫chivon is right, you are a genius.

248
00:17:57,191 --> 00:17:59,125
‫Thank you.

249
00:17:59,293 --> 00:18:04,026
‫A non-food related question. what,s
‫going on between you and chivon؟

250
00:18:04,198 --> 00:18:07,690
‫- what do you mean؟
‫- You,ve been in here three times.

251
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:10,429
‫well, We,re dating. why؟

252
00:18:10,605 --> 00:18:12,539
‫You,re not just fucking؟

253
00:18:14,075 --> 00:18:17,943
‫Not that,s any of your business,
‫but no, We,re not just fucking.

254
00:18:18,112 --> 00:18:20,137
‫we actually really like each other.

255
00:18:21,449 --> 00:18:24,077
‫I don,t Want you seeing my brother.

256
00:18:24,252 --> 00:18:26,948
‫- Excuse me؟
‫- I don't approve.

257
00:18:27,121 --> 00:18:29,954
‫- You don,t knoW me...
‫- Let,s not get personal.

258
00:18:30,124 --> 00:18:34,083
‫I,m sure you,re a nice person,
‫but you,re White.

259
00:18:34,262 --> 00:18:38,460
‫I have a problem with my brother
‫getting serious with a White Woman.

260
00:18:38,633 --> 00:18:42,000
‫To Adeena, samantha,s skin
‫Was a non-negotiable.

261
00:18:42,170 --> 00:18:45,435
‫- HoW can you say that؟
‫- That,s hoW I feel.

262
00:18:45,606 --> 00:18:50,009
‫I,m never going to approve and my
‫approval means a lot to my brother.

263
00:18:50,211 --> 00:18:57,117
‫Just save us the time and trouble
‫and get out before anybody gets hurt.

264
00:19:00,721 --> 00:19:04,418
‫I'll send over some
‫Mississippi mud pie.

265
00:19:04,592 --> 00:19:10,553
‫The only place Adeena Was interested
‫in fusion Was on a plate.

266
00:19:10,798 --> 00:19:15,758
‫- she can,t dis me just cos I,m White.
‫- Please tell me you didn,t say dis.

267
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:19,134
‫Maybe you should stop seeing him.
‫Race is a big issue.

268
00:19:19,307 --> 00:19:21,468
‫There is no reason
‫to bring race into this.

269
00:19:21,642 --> 00:19:24,611
‫chivon is a sWeet man.
‫we have great sex.

270
00:19:24,745 --> 00:19:26,508
‫He happens to have the biggest...

271
00:19:26,681 --> 00:19:29,673
‫Black cock.
‫we knoW he has a big black cock.

272
00:19:29,851 --> 00:19:32,479
‫I Was about to say the biggest heart.

273
00:19:32,653 --> 00:19:35,383
‫But, yes, he does have
‫a big black cock.

274
00:19:35,556 --> 00:19:38,320
‫It,s big African-American cock.

275
00:19:38,493 --> 00:19:41,792
‫- Don,t make fun of me. My chin hurts.
‫- what happened؟

276
00:19:42,029 --> 00:19:44,520
‫He raped my face.
‫I,m never seeing him again.

277
00:19:44,699 --> 00:19:47,691
‫To charlotte, a black and blue chin
‫Was a deal breaker.

278
00:19:47,902 --> 00:19:51,269
‫I,m not backing doWn to her.
‫That,s not Who I am.

279
00:19:51,439 --> 00:19:56,274
‫she shouldn,t sacrifice Who she is
‫because somebody has a problem.

280
00:19:56,444 --> 00:20:00,540
‫Like me and smoking.
‫Too bad Aidan had a problem with it.

281
00:20:00,715 --> 00:20:03,183
‫But you have to accept people
‫for Who they are.

282
00:20:03,351 --> 00:20:06,548
‫- You choose cigarettes over a guy؟
‫- He,s not that cute.

283
00:20:06,721 --> 00:20:08,882
‫You bought furniture, he Was so cute.

284
00:20:09,056 --> 00:20:12,025
‫For him to dump me
‫over a little thing like smoking.

285
00:20:12,193 --> 00:20:16,721
‫smoking is not a little thing.
‫It,s dirty and you,re killing yourself.

286
00:20:16,898 --> 00:20:22,928
‫we hate it. we put up with it cos We
‫love you. You have a reason to quit.

287
00:20:23,137 --> 00:20:26,800
‫- I don,t like being ganged up on.
‫- who,s ganging up on you؟

288
00:20:26,941 --> 00:20:28,909
‫smoking is a part of Who I am.

289
00:20:29,043 --> 00:20:32,945
‫I,ll quit When I Want to,
‫not cos a cute guy told me to.

290
00:20:33,114 --> 00:20:35,105
‫- Right, samantha؟
‫- No.

291
00:20:35,283 --> 00:20:41,051
‫Fighting for chivon is one thing.
‫Holding on to cigarettes is just Wack.

292
00:20:41,222 --> 00:20:43,247
‫Tell me she didn,t say... Wack....

293
00:20:43,424 --> 00:20:45,551
‫It's all total bullshit.

294
00:20:45,726 --> 00:20:47,956
‫what is Wrong with cigarettes؟

295
00:20:48,129 --> 00:20:50,393
‫Nothing, they,re fabulous.

296
00:20:50,565 --> 00:20:53,762
‫It,s not like you have
‫a hideous doll-collection.

297
00:20:53,935 --> 00:20:57,336
‫You think that,s an overreaction
‫to a repressed childhood؟

298
00:20:57,505 --> 00:20:59,939
‫who cares؟ It,s freaky.

299
00:21:00,141 --> 00:21:06,671
‫I could overlook his receding hair.
‫But the dollies؟ No.

300
00:21:06,847 --> 00:21:10,908
‫so, it,s... Goodbye, Dolly...؟

301
00:21:11,085 --> 00:21:13,212
‫It's too bad. I kind of liked him.

302
00:21:13,387 --> 00:21:18,347
‫well, stannie, if I may call you that.
‫Maybe you should reconsider؟

303
00:21:18,526 --> 00:21:22,690
‫when Was the last time someone
‫you had a crush on asked you out؟

304
00:21:22,863 --> 00:21:25,559
‫You,re no one to talk,
‫Miss Marlboro Lights.

305
00:21:25,733 --> 00:21:29,396
‫You,re right. I am no one to talk.

306
00:21:30,004 --> 00:21:34,100
‫Maybe I could quit, just a little.
‫Till I see What,s up.

307
00:21:34,609 --> 00:21:38,409
‫- Et tu؟
‫- Fine.

308
00:21:38,579 --> 00:21:40,706
‫I can,t see myself getting excited

309
00:21:40,881 --> 00:21:46,080
‫because my boyfriend,s three-foot
‫Lady Di doll is arriving from Qvc.

310
00:21:48,356 --> 00:21:51,325
‫Let,s go.
‫Time to go shoot hoops.

311
00:21:51,492 --> 00:21:56,862
‫- I can,t. I got behind on this file.
‫- No, you don,t. You promised.

312
00:21:57,031 --> 00:22:01,866
‫This has to be ready Monday. I don,t
‫have time to Watch you shoot hoops.

313
00:22:02,036 --> 00:22:06,996
‫I ask you to do one thing for me
‫and you can,t. what is that؟

314
00:22:07,174 --> 00:22:08,869
‫what,s with the attitude؟

315
00:22:09,043 --> 00:22:12,206
‫You knoW hoW many times
‫I do What you Want؟

316
00:22:12,446 --> 00:22:15,745
‫why are you getting so upset؟
‫It,s just a stupid shot.

317
00:22:15,916 --> 00:22:18,749
‫Not to me it's not.

318
00:22:21,088 --> 00:22:24,683
‫why are you alWays pessimistic؟
‫You can,t make that shot.......

319
00:22:24,859 --> 00:22:26,986
‫steve, come on.

320
00:22:27,161 --> 00:22:30,619
‫It,s not just the shot. It,s everything.
‫we can,t move in together.......

321
00:22:30,798 --> 00:22:34,564
‫If this is ever gonna Work,
‫I need you to believe in us.

322
00:22:35,736 --> 00:22:40,503
‫I need you to believe in me,
‫even if you think it,s fucking stupid.

323
00:22:51,686 --> 00:22:55,349
‫All right, hot shot.
‫shoW me What you got.

324
00:23:02,263 --> 00:23:04,754
‫Nice legs! very nice!

325
00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:08,764
‫This is for the big money!

326
00:23:19,547 --> 00:23:22,778
‫steve never did win the big money
‫at Madison square Garden.

327
00:23:22,950 --> 00:23:26,579
‫But having Miranda shoW up,
‫made him feel like a million bucks.

328
00:23:26,754 --> 00:23:28,949
‫You Were robbed!

329
00:23:29,123 --> 00:23:31,591
‫- Do over!
‫- oK.

330
00:23:39,934 --> 00:23:42,903
‫- Don,t get any ideas.
‫- Pete. Let,s go.

331
00:23:46,807 --> 00:23:50,265
‫This isn,t fair.
‫He Was just starting to get over you.

332
00:23:51,245 --> 00:23:55,181
‫since you negotiated
‫such a good price for me on the chair,

333
00:23:55,349 --> 00:24:00,377
‫maybe I can negotiate a little deal
‫for you on the smoking.

334
00:24:01,655 --> 00:24:03,555
‫what kind of deal؟

335
00:24:03,758 --> 00:24:07,660
‫I,ve been thinking
‫about quitting anyWay. why not noW؟

336
00:24:09,230 --> 00:24:11,391
‫No cigarettes.

337
00:24:12,333 --> 00:24:14,096
‫can you do that؟

338
00:24:14,301 --> 00:24:17,464
‫Maybe you think
‫I,m more of a smoker than I am.

339
00:24:17,638 --> 00:24:20,937
‫I only have like a cigarette
‫with cocktails.

340
00:24:23,344 --> 00:24:25,972
‫I,m done here.
‫Do you Wanna get some coffee؟

341
00:24:26,180 --> 00:24:30,116
‫The second he said coffee,
‫I kneW I Wanted a cigarette.

342
00:24:30,284 --> 00:24:32,309
‫I'd love it.

343
00:24:32,486 --> 00:24:36,183
‫It Was one of those dates
‫When you have so much to say

344
00:24:36,357 --> 00:24:39,724
‫that coffee turns into a movie,
‫a movie into a long Walk

345
00:24:39,927 --> 00:24:43,761
‫and a long Walk turns into
‫the beginning of cold turkey rehab.

346
00:24:43,931 --> 00:24:46,491
‫would you like to eat some dinner؟

347
00:24:46,700 --> 00:24:49,533
‫I Was completely ready
‫to trade in my crush...

348
00:24:51,038 --> 00:24:52,027
‫Hi.

349
00:24:52,206 --> 00:24:56,700
‫When it daWned on me hoW much...
‫I Was willing to give up for a cigarette.

350
00:24:56,877 --> 00:24:59,175
‫Maybe a quick bite.

351
00:25:16,230 --> 00:25:19,597
‫Her name is sheeba.
‫she,s French.

352
00:25:19,767 --> 00:25:22,201
‫MeanWhile,
‫back in the... valley of the Dolls...

353
00:25:22,369 --> 00:25:26,863
‫stanford thought there Was something
‫more rare than a porcelain face...

354
00:25:27,041 --> 00:25:28,736
‫his passion.

355
00:25:31,712 --> 00:25:33,577
‫wait, the dolls.

356
00:25:53,234 --> 00:25:57,330
‫To Marty Mendleson,
‫a broken face Was a deal breaker.

357
00:26:03,477 --> 00:26:04,466
‫Adeena!

358
00:26:04,645 --> 00:26:09,105
‫samantha Was about to come
‫face to face with her deal breaker.

359
00:26:09,283 --> 00:26:12,047
‫- what,s up؟
‫- You tell me. I just got here.

360
00:26:12,219 --> 00:26:14,278
‫You knoW samantha.

361
00:26:14,455 --> 00:26:17,788
‫what,s my favorite girl drinking؟

362
00:26:17,958 --> 00:26:20,392
‫- champagne.
‫- Marguerita.

363
00:26:20,561 --> 00:26:22,722
‫coming right up.

364
00:26:24,665 --> 00:26:28,499
‫what are you doing here؟
‫I don,t Want you dating my brother.

365
00:26:28,669 --> 00:26:31,729
‫I,m a lovely person.
‫Get to knoW me, then hate me.

366
00:26:31,906 --> 00:26:35,273
‫This is not a game.
‫This is my brother We,re talking about.

367
00:26:35,442 --> 00:26:38,275
‫For a Woman with such
‫a progressive vieW of World food...

368
00:26:38,445 --> 00:26:41,744
‫- That,s business, this is family.
‫- I don,t understand...

369
00:26:41,949 --> 00:26:46,716
‫I,ll say it to you plain. I don,t care
‫hoW many Jennifer Lopez dresses

370
00:26:46,887 --> 00:26:50,721
‫you have hanging in your closet,
‫you don,t belong in here.

371
00:26:51,025 --> 00:26:54,927
‫You,ll never understand What I,m
‫talking about. This is a black thing.

372
00:26:55,095 --> 00:26:59,122
‫Please go
‫and leave my brother alone.

373
00:27:00,301 --> 00:27:04,704
‫As samantha turned to leave,
‫she realised this Wasn,t a black thing.

374
00:27:04,872 --> 00:27:06,772
‫It Was a samantha thing.

375
00:27:06,941 --> 00:27:10,934
‫she,d never backed doWn to a bitch
‫and she Wasn,t about to start.

376
00:27:11,111 --> 00:27:16,174
‫No Woman, no matter What color,
‫has the right to tell me Who I fuck.

377
00:27:16,350 --> 00:27:19,444
‫Get your little White pussy
‫aWay from my brother!

378
00:27:19,620 --> 00:27:22,145
‫Get your big, black ass
‫out of my face!

379
00:27:22,323 --> 00:27:25,258
‫And your okra Wasn,t all that!

380
00:27:29,763 --> 00:27:31,390
‫Get off me!

381
00:27:34,268 --> 00:27:36,600
‫Keep it real.

382
00:27:36,737 --> 00:27:38,932
‫I,m trying to keep it real.

383
00:27:44,178 --> 00:27:47,545
‫seven hours into the World,s
‫longest date, all I could think Was,

384
00:27:47,715 --> 00:27:51,617
‫Five more minutes and I can smoke...
‫the cigarette hidden in my purse....

385
00:27:51,785 --> 00:27:55,881
‫- would you like a dessert menu؟
‫- I,ll take a look.

386
00:27:56,090 --> 00:27:59,059
‫I forgot, I have a deadline.
‫I have to go.

387
00:27:59,226 --> 00:28:01,490
‫- I,ll Walk with you.
‫- No!

388
00:28:01,662 --> 00:28:04,631
‫stay and enjoy your dessert.
‫I,m fine.

389
00:28:41,568 --> 00:28:47,131
‫carrie...
‫we,ve got a little problem.

390
00:28:52,446 --> 00:28:57,076
‫what can I say؟
‫Adeena has alWays been there for me.

391
00:28:57,251 --> 00:29:01,620
‫Ever since Mom died,
‫it,s only been the two of us.

392
00:29:02,923 --> 00:29:08,520
‫Adeena has her issues,
‫but you didn,t have to insult her food.

393
00:29:09,997 --> 00:29:12,056
‫You mean the World to me.

394
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,569
‫But Adeena, she,s my blood.

395
00:29:25,145 --> 00:29:28,637
‫samantha kneWthe real problem
‫Wasn,t her White pussy.

396
00:29:28,816 --> 00:29:33,651
‫It Was that chivon Was a black pussy
‫Who Wouldn,t stand up to his sister.

397
00:29:36,123 --> 00:29:40,958
‫And for samantha Jones,
‫that Was the deal breaker.

398
00:29:41,128 --> 00:29:46,122
‫It Was too bad We had to end.
‫But that,s the Way it goes, I guess.

399
00:29:46,300 --> 00:29:51,260
‫we had some good times together
‫and I,m sure We could have had more.

400
00:29:51,472 --> 00:29:53,770
‫But, it,s over.

401
00:30:00,047 --> 00:30:04,609
‫In the end, I really did it for me.
‫I just hope he,s Worth it.