WEBVTT
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..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::..
.:: www.bolboljan.net ::.
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A wise person
once said about love,
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"We live in a universe
that's ruled by chaos and chance,
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where all it takes is just one moment
of ill fortune
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for all our hopes and dreams
to go right down the shitter."
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You can do it. You can do it.
You can-- Just kiss her.
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Just...
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She likes you, all right?
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Yeah, I think-- I think-- Yeah, she does.
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No, she doesn't. She does. She does.
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You've spent the whole weekend
putting off this moment,
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and now you're actually out of time.
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Literally, out of time.
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Right, this is it, this is it.
This is your moment. This is...
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How long does it take?
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One second!
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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-Hey.
-Hey.
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-Everything okay?
-Yeah, just a bit of tummy trouble.
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-I was worried you might miss your flight.
-No, I've got a few minutes.
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Can you believe how lucky your sister got?
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She gets sent off to Rome for work,
and I get sent off to war-torn hellholes.
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Well, I suppose if you're gonna be
a war journalist,
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that might, more or less,
be what you'd expect.
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Okay, smartass.
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This has, uh...
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This has been a pretty special weekend.
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Yeah.
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I have to admit that when Hayley
told me her older brother
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was coming to visit the same weekend
that I was coming, I was pretty bummed,
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but it turns out you're not as irritating
as I thought you'd be.
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Wow.
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Uh, I think that's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.
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Well, that's the nicest thing
I've ever said to anyone, so...
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- Well, then I'm doubly honored. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
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But, seriously, thanks for...
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an amazing time.
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I don't think I've met anyone
quite like you.
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You're just a charmer, huh?
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No, I promise you I'm not.
I'm a terrible, terrible charmer.
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Uh, I'm just being honest.
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Ah, um...
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So...
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So, so...
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Jack? Mate!
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What are the chances?
What are you doing here?
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Uh...
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- Greg!
- Yeah, no, Greg!
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Yeah, I remember.
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Sorry.
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-Hi. Dina.
-Nice to meet you.
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Nice to meet you, too.
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- We used to share a dorm at university.
- Oh.
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We used to call him Mr. Wank.
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Because he used to wank a lot.
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-I don't think that was me.
-No, that was definitely you!
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Anyway...
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I've actually got to get back to London.
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-I'm going to the airport.
-No way. Me too.
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-Shut up.
-I'm literally going right now.
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-Yeah, I've got a car. I could drive us.
-Really?
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Yeah.
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It's not a problem.
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Oh, so you're gonna go now?
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Yeah.
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I guess I am...
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going now.
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Um...
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Oh, okay.
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Can I-- I just have to say goodbye...
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Um, you know, uh...
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Don't know when
we'll see each other again, so...
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Sure, yeah. Go ahead.
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Uh...
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So, thank you...
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again for an amazing...
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-weekend.
-Yeah, it was--
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-Oh, sorry. I thought--
-Oh, okay. Uh...
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Yeah.
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-Nice to meet you.
-Oh, nice to meet you, too.
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This is happening.
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-Come on, Wank.
-Yup.
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-Mate, can you believe what luck this is?
-No, no, I actually can't.
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And so,
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with the coincidental appearance
of just one twat from the past,
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chance comes along and gives love
a massive kick in the ballsack.
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As the wise person would say,
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"Chance can be a real bastard."
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Done.
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Be careful.
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It's okay for me.
That's fine.
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- You're beautiful.
- She's perfect.
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Are you excited?
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- It's okay? Here we are.
- She's perfect.
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- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
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Congratulations!
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Bye.
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It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine.
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Absolutely fine!
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- Good morning.
- Good morning.
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Hayles?
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Hayley?
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Yeah, just a second.
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You okay?
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-Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
-What's going on?
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Getting married is stressful, isn't it?
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The only reason I slept at all
is because I'm taking these...
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these sleep drops that are literally
strong enough to knock out a horse.
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Oh, my God. Do I look okay?
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You look stunning.
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Life's random, isn't it?
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I mean, one minute I'm exchanging
obscenities with a stranger in a car park,
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and the next, we're six months on,
totally in love and getting married.
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I wish Mum and Dad were here.
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I know.
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Yeah.
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It's all right.
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Yeah.
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Is there a bride
in the fuckin' house?!
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Oh, my God, Hayley-cakes!
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You look absolutely amazing.
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Thanks, Bryan. Everything okay?
You know your role? You're all right?
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-Yeah. I'm great.
-Yeah?
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Um, couple of questions, though.
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Can we stop calling it "maid of honor"
and call it "man of honor" instead?
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No. Second question?
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Only because I'm a man, obviously, but...
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Secondly,
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am I sitting next to Vitelli?
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-No.
-Okay.
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Uh...
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Uh, why not?
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I mean, you know,
he's casting for a new film right now.
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Do you have any idea what
that could do for my career?
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-Give you one?
-Exactly.
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I had to put all the English people
on the same table, but don't worry.
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-I will introduce you. I promise.
-All right. Sorry.
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It's your day anyway. As long
as I'm not sitting next to Rebecca.
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'Cause I can't handle her
holding onto me all night, 'cause she'll--
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-Sorry. I'll shut up.
-Yeah, good.
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Um...
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I think I'm ready.
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Oh, my God!
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This is happening!
My sister's getting married!
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Yes, she is!
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I'm gonna see you there.
Just got to have a quick haircut.
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What, now?
You'll be late for the ceremony.
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Yeah, Bryan?
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Wow! How long have we known each other?
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And you still have absolutely
no faith in me, do you?
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-No.
-None whatsoever.
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I'm meeting Federico Vitelli.
I can't do it with shit hair.
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It's fine. Just go. Don't be late, okay?
It's my wedding day!
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- Please don't be late, Bryan.
- It's my wedding day, Bryan.
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-He's gonna be late.
-Let's go.
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-Uh, Hayley, just... small thing.
-Yeah?
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This English table.
Amanda's not on that, right?
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Ah.
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-She is. Okay.
-Listen.
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I'm really sorry. I had no choice.
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Is that cool?
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Is it cool to be sat next to my nightmare
of an ex-girlfriend for a whole day?
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Look, no, it's-- it's fine.
It's gonna be fine, okay?
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I'll tell you what,
00:10:20.250 --> 00:10:22.291
I'm not having us having
a foreign wedding.
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Well, I haven't said yes to us
getting married yet.
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Yes, I'm well aware of that, believe me.
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My friends think it's mental
you haven't jumped at the chance.
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To spend the rest of your life
with someone is a big deal.
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It's not a decision I'm just
gonna jump into.
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I asked you six months ago.
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Ugh, here we go.
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Amanda!
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That's...
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Here you go, mate.
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You know, I actually thought "penne"
was the Italian for "penis,"
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because of their kind of small,
like, tube-like...
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But it's actually just "penne"
is just the Italian for "penne."
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Did you just buy that to piss me off?
00:10:52.833 --> 00:10:54.333
No, I wore it 'cause it looks cool.
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You look like a fucking magician.
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How the--
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It cost me three grand.
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Oh, my God! Amanda, hi!
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-Oh, wow! You look gorgeous.
-Thank you, love.
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Have they booked a cabaret act?
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-No. I'm Amanda's boyfriend.
-And you're in the cabaret!
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-That's amazing!
-No.
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I didn't know you had a new boyfriend.
That's good.
00:11:13.708 --> 00:11:16.291
I'm so glad you've moved on
from that last guy you were seeing.
00:11:16.375 --> 00:11:18.666
What was his name? Chaz?
Last time I saw her she was like,
00:11:18.750 --> 00:11:20.416
"I'm seeing this dickhead."
00:11:20.500 --> 00:11:21.958
No, I'm Chaz.
00:11:22.041 --> 00:11:23.916
-What?
-I'm Chaz, so...
00:11:25.041 --> 00:11:26.833
Oh, my God.
00:11:27.708 --> 00:11:29.666
Have you gone out
with two Chazes in a row?
00:11:29.750 --> 00:11:31.916
That is such a unique name.
That's nuts.
00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:34.125
Sidney? Sidney, is that you? Sidney!
00:11:34.208 --> 00:11:35.541
Oh, my God, I didn't know--
00:11:35.625 --> 00:11:37.250
I'm coming. Excuse me.
00:11:37.625 --> 00:11:39.666
Chaz, darling, this is Sidney.
00:11:39.750 --> 00:11:41.833
-Hello, Amanda, how are you?
-Our old flatmate.
00:11:41.916 --> 00:11:43.541
Who, for some reason, is wearing a kilt,
00:11:43.625 --> 00:11:46.041
even though he isn't remotely Scottish.
00:11:46.125 --> 00:11:47.416
Yes, I've gone there.
00:11:47.500 --> 00:11:49.333
Already regretting it slightly.
00:11:50.041 --> 00:11:51.250
It's quite a heavy plaid,
00:11:51.333 --> 00:11:53.083
and it's already starting to, um...
00:11:54.166 --> 00:11:55.875
chafe a little bit in the old groinal...
00:11:57.083 --> 00:11:57.916
area.
00:11:59.500 --> 00:12:01.041
The testicles. Hm.
00:12:02.458 --> 00:12:04.500
-Shall we go in?
-Yeah.
00:12:04.583 --> 00:12:05.958
Yes, let's go in. Let's go in.
00:12:06.041 --> 00:12:07.833
How long have you been
in the cabaret business?
00:12:07.916 --> 00:12:09.541
I'm not. I'm a music producer.
00:12:09.625 --> 00:12:12.083
-Who the hell's this other Chaz guy?
-Don't worry about it.
00:12:12.166 --> 00:12:15.125
My balls. My dear, old balls.
I think they'll be fine.
00:12:15.208 --> 00:12:17.541
It's just sort of working out a way
of managing them.
00:12:37.541 --> 00:12:38.666
All right, you ready?
00:12:40.583 --> 00:12:41.625
Yeah.
00:12:41.708 --> 00:12:42.791
Yeah, I think so.
00:12:43.833 --> 00:12:44.666
Come on.
00:12:45.458 --> 00:12:46.500
Wait, Jack, um...
00:12:47.208 --> 00:12:48.625
-Look, I--
-What's up?
00:12:49.666 --> 00:12:51.208
You know that I would've...
00:12:52.541 --> 00:12:54.750
I would've given anything for Dad
to be here today.
00:12:55.500 --> 00:12:58.125
But having you walk me
down the aisle is...
00:12:58.208 --> 00:12:59.666
-Oh...
-...is the next best thing
00:12:59.750 --> 00:13:01.625
that I could ask for, so...
00:13:08.541 --> 00:13:11.375
Also, can you look after
my bag of pills, please?
00:13:11.958 --> 00:13:12.791
Thanks.
00:13:13.166 --> 00:13:14.000
Sure.
00:13:18.125 --> 00:13:19.416
Let's get you hitched.
00:13:19.708 --> 00:13:20.583
Getting hitched!
00:13:20.666 --> 00:13:22.083
Aah!
00:13:22.166 --> 00:13:23.416
-Come on.
-Okay.
00:13:44.708 --> 00:13:47.666
- Where the fuck is Bryan?
- He'll be here.
00:13:47.750 --> 00:13:49.833
Why is he getting
a fucking haircut now?
00:13:49.916 --> 00:13:50.958
What's wrong with him?
00:13:51.041 --> 00:13:53.666
Oh, God! Why did I decide to do this?
00:13:54.291 --> 00:13:55.666
Because you love him.
00:13:57.333 --> 00:13:58.250
All right?
00:14:02.875 --> 00:14:03.708
Yeah.
00:14:06.250 --> 00:14:08.125
Okay. Let's do this.
00:14:09.041 --> 00:14:10.583
Oh, no. I nearly forgot to tell you.
00:14:10.666 --> 00:14:13.250
You remember Dina,
my American friend that you met in Rome?
00:14:13.333 --> 00:14:14.541
-Yeah.
-She's here.
00:14:16.208 --> 00:14:17.791
Uh...
00:14:17.875 --> 00:14:18.958
-What?
-Yeah.
00:14:19.583 --> 00:14:21.250
Sorry, wait, wait, wait...
00:14:21.333 --> 00:14:23.166
You said she definitely couldn't come,
00:14:23.250 --> 00:14:25.333
and besides that, she had
a boyfriend anyway, right?
00:14:25.416 --> 00:14:28.833
Yeah, well, it turns out she can come,
and she's broken up with her boyfriend.
00:14:28.916 --> 00:14:31.125
-Yeah. Come on, let's go.
-W-Wait.
00:14:32.333 --> 00:14:33.250
Okay.
00:14:34.375 --> 00:14:35.250
Okay.
00:14:38.833 --> 00:14:40.291
- Mm-hmm?
- Yeah.
00:14:46.541 --> 00:14:47.541
Oh, my God.
00:15:07.541 --> 00:15:09.416
Welcome to all.
00:15:09.625 --> 00:15:12.708
We are gathered here today
to bring together
00:15:12.916 --> 00:15:15.041
Roberto and Hayley.
00:15:15.375 --> 00:15:16.791
Ladies and gentlemen...
00:15:20.458 --> 00:15:22.375
Sorry. Told you I'd make it.
00:15:24.416 --> 00:15:28.208
Andrea, this is my brother, Jack.
And this is my maid of honor, Bryan.
00:15:28.291 --> 00:15:29.416
Ciao, ciao.
00:15:29.500 --> 00:15:31.125
This is Sophia, Roberto's mother.
00:15:31.541 --> 00:15:32.500
Hello.
00:15:32.583 --> 00:15:33.541
Hi.
00:15:35.458 --> 00:15:36.666
Hello. Um...
00:15:37.833 --> 00:15:39.083
Okay!
00:15:40.083 --> 00:15:41.166
Nice to meet you all.
00:15:44.875 --> 00:15:46.625
-He just kissed me full on the mouth.
-Me too.
00:15:46.708 --> 00:15:48.125
I think I got some tongue, actually.
00:15:48.208 --> 00:15:49.625
Oh, you're not in the cabaret.
00:15:49.708 --> 00:15:51.000
I love your suit, though.
00:15:51.083 --> 00:15:52.458
-Good, innit? Thank you.
-Yeah.
00:15:52.541 --> 00:15:55.291
My six-year-old nephew
has one just exactly like that.
00:15:55.625 --> 00:15:57.833
-Six-year-old nephew.
-Sounds like a pretty cool kid.
00:15:57.916 --> 00:15:59.958
Yeah, except his trousers
are attached to the top half,
00:16:00.041 --> 00:16:02.666
and he's just got this little flap
to let his little out.
00:16:02.750 --> 00:16:05.083
No, this has got the classic zip.
00:16:05.875 --> 00:16:08.708
Look, I suppose I should go mingle
with my new relatives.
00:16:08.791 --> 00:16:09.916
Go, go, go.
00:16:11.625 --> 00:16:14.000
-Don't get emotional.
-No, I won't, I won't, I won't.
00:16:15.041 --> 00:16:15.875
Oh, man.
00:16:15.958 --> 00:16:17.708
-She looks so happy.
-Yeah.
00:16:19.041 --> 00:16:20.250
Did you even get your hair cut?
00:16:20.333 --> 00:16:22.166
-It looks exactly the same.
-No, it doesn't.
00:16:22.250 --> 00:16:23.166
-It does.
-It's rounder.
00:16:23.250 --> 00:16:24.625
-Mate--
-It's rounder, Jack.
00:16:39.708 --> 00:16:40.541
Hot.
00:16:41.541 --> 00:16:43.291
-Yeah, it's really hot today.
-Very hot.
00:16:43.375 --> 00:16:44.416
It's pretty, though.
00:16:44.500 --> 00:16:45.625
Oh, what a dress!
00:16:45.708 --> 00:16:46.958
-Thank you very much.
-Beautiful.
00:16:47.041 --> 00:16:49.666
Appreciate that. You as well.
I mean, it's not-- It's not a dress.
00:16:50.166 --> 00:16:51.041
This is a kilt.
00:16:51.708 --> 00:16:53.375
Yeah, I know. Yeah.
00:16:53.916 --> 00:16:56.458
Traditional Scottish... dress.
00:16:56.541 --> 00:16:58.166
-Right. I knew that.
-Yes.
00:16:58.250 --> 00:16:59.125
I'm not Scottish.
00:16:59.208 --> 00:17:00.333
-You're not?
-No.
00:17:00.416 --> 00:17:01.875
Then why are you wearing a kilt?
00:17:10.166 --> 00:17:12.166
The old Italian sun.
00:17:13.166 --> 00:17:14.000
Huh.
00:17:16.625 --> 00:17:17.791
Lichen.
00:17:18.958 --> 00:17:19.958
Um... Oh.
00:17:20.041 --> 00:17:20.875
Deary me.
00:17:21.333 --> 00:17:22.625
I don't think you--
00:17:22.708 --> 00:17:23.916
I don't think you should...
00:17:24.333 --> 00:17:25.708
So, where's your other half?
00:17:26.208 --> 00:17:27.458
Oh, no other half.
00:17:27.541 --> 00:17:29.333
Just, you know, half a person today.
00:17:29.625 --> 00:17:31.291
-I'm half a person.
-You are?
00:17:31.375 --> 00:17:32.625
Oh, well...
00:17:33.166 --> 00:17:34.791
-Deal?
-Deal.
00:17:35.375 --> 00:17:36.416
-Wedding buddies.
-Oh.
00:17:36.500 --> 00:17:38.166
Is that-- That was the deal we made?
00:17:38.250 --> 00:17:39.791
-We shook on it.
-We shook.
00:17:39.875 --> 00:17:41.666
What do wedding buddies do?
00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:43.708
We hang out a little bit.
00:17:49.916 --> 00:17:51.416
-Would you like a drink?
-I'm good--
00:17:51.500 --> 00:17:52.500
They're free.
00:17:52.958 --> 00:17:54.000
-Two champagnes?
-Yeah.
00:17:54.083 --> 00:17:56.000
-It is, uh, free, but--
-I'll be right back.
00:17:56.083 --> 00:17:57.833
-No, I'm okay.
-You don't go anywhere.
00:18:03.416 --> 00:18:05.041
- God, there he is.
- Who?
00:18:05.125 --> 00:18:06.000
Vitelli.
00:18:06.083 --> 00:18:08.583
-Oh, wow.
-Yeah. He makes movie stars, Jack.
00:18:08.666 --> 00:18:09.541
Movie stars.
00:18:09.625 --> 00:18:11.458
I've got one chance to impress him.
00:18:11.541 --> 00:18:13.375
Maybe you can do it
with your speech later on.
00:18:13.458 --> 00:18:14.333
Yeah.
00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:15.875
What speech?
00:18:15.958 --> 00:18:17.291
Your maid of honor speech.
00:18:17.375 --> 00:18:19.250
No one told me I've got
a maid of honor speech.
00:18:19.333 --> 00:18:21.875
-Yeah, it's in the program.
-No, I don't think I do.
00:18:22.416 --> 00:18:23.875
Oh, no!
00:18:24.208 --> 00:18:26.416
- I've got nothing prepared!
- It's gonna be fine.
00:18:26.500 --> 00:18:28.583
-It's not gonna be fine.
-Just riff one out, man!
00:18:28.666 --> 00:18:30.125
-Shit, there's Rebecca.
-Just vibe it.
00:18:30.208 --> 00:18:32.250
Don't leave me alone with her, please.
She clings on.
00:18:32.333 --> 00:18:33.541
-I can't shake her.
-Oi, boys!
00:18:33.625 --> 00:18:36.333
-Yoo! Hiya!
-Wahey! Here we are!
00:18:36.416 --> 00:18:38.333
You know what that is!
00:18:38.416 --> 00:18:40.666
That's the fun car,
ready to pick you all up.
00:18:40.750 --> 00:18:41.916
Thank you.
00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:43.875
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
00:18:43.958 --> 00:18:45.958
- The fun train. Get aboard.
- Ho!
00:18:46.041 --> 00:18:47.333
There it is.
00:18:47.416 --> 00:18:49.291
-Wow, you look amazing.
-Thanks.
00:18:49.375 --> 00:18:51.208
-You do. You look fantastic.
-You too.
00:18:51.291 --> 00:18:52.500
It's so nice to see you.
00:18:54.583 --> 00:18:56.750
- You look really great.
- Oh, thank you.
00:19:12.875 --> 00:19:14.875
-I'm gonna--
-Did you get taller?
00:19:14.958 --> 00:19:17.250
-Are you wearing a Cuban heel?
-I'll be... Yeah...
00:19:17.333 --> 00:19:18.583
- Jack?
- One sec.
00:19:18.666 --> 00:19:20.083
-Jack? Jack!
-Yeah?
00:19:20.750 --> 00:19:22.250
-Hey, I--
-You look brilliant.
00:19:22.333 --> 00:19:23.666
-Thanks.
-I love your suit.
00:19:23.750 --> 00:19:24.916
Thanks a lot, yeah. I just...
00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:26.875
I'm going to find a drink
or something, I think.
00:19:26.958 --> 00:19:28.166
Oh, yes, please.
00:19:28.625 --> 00:19:29.875
Jack? Oh, my God.
00:19:31.208 --> 00:19:32.500
-Jack.
-Hi.
00:19:32.958 --> 00:19:33.791
Hi.
00:19:34.375 --> 00:19:35.958
-Hi.
-It's nice to see--
00:19:36.041 --> 00:19:37.000
Hi.
00:19:37.083 --> 00:19:38.875
Nice to see you, too.
00:19:38.958 --> 00:19:40.000
God. Uh...
00:19:40.416 --> 00:19:41.291
Yeah, I...
00:19:41.625 --> 00:19:42.458
Good? You're good?
00:19:42.541 --> 00:19:44.500
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Good. Yeah.
00:19:45.083 --> 00:19:46.041
You look great.
00:19:46.500 --> 00:19:47.333
Thanks.
00:19:47.708 --> 00:19:49.791
Still can't believe you made me come
all the way out here
00:19:49.875 --> 00:19:51.958
just to stare at the guy
you were shagging for two years.
00:19:52.041 --> 00:19:53.291
Stop staring at him, then.
00:19:54.333 --> 00:19:55.416
At least you got an upgrade.
00:19:55.791 --> 00:19:58.291
-Pfft! What upgrade?
-What do you mean, "what upgrade"?
00:19:58.375 --> 00:19:59.791
I'm better looking than him,
00:19:59.875 --> 00:20:01.833
I'm taller,
and I'm definitely better in bed.
00:20:01.916 --> 00:20:03.666
How do you know?
Have you slept with him?
00:20:03.750 --> 00:20:05.750
Well, no. It's obvious, look at him.
He's just...
00:20:05.833 --> 00:20:07.083
What do you mean?
00:20:07.166 --> 00:20:08.791
Are you saying
that he's better in bed than me?
00:20:08.875 --> 00:20:10.958
You know what?
I haven't had time for a full analysis.
00:20:11.041 --> 00:20:13.000
Really? Well, I have.
I've literally asked people,
00:20:13.083 --> 00:20:14.583
and they've all pretty much said,
00:20:14.666 --> 00:20:16.083
"Yeah, you're great. Cheers, mate."
00:20:17.583 --> 00:20:19.750
-Go and stand over there, please.
-What?
00:20:24.166 --> 00:20:25.000
Further.
00:20:28.333 --> 00:20:29.166
This good?
00:20:29.791 --> 00:20:30.625
Perfect.
00:20:45.333 --> 00:20:46.833
Are you okay?
00:20:46.916 --> 00:20:48.333
It's a bit overwhelming.
00:20:48.416 --> 00:20:50.208
No, I'm fine. We're fine.
00:20:50.833 --> 00:20:51.875
I love you so much.
00:20:52.500 --> 00:20:54.416
I just want you to have
the best day ever.
00:20:54.500 --> 00:20:55.458
Oh.
00:20:55.833 --> 00:20:57.666
Nothing could spoil this day.
00:21:31.791 --> 00:21:34.750
So, I was in my car
in this empty parking.
00:21:34.833 --> 00:21:36.125
Believe me, there was nobody.
00:21:37.250 --> 00:21:39.083
And Hayley come up to me and say...
00:21:39.166 --> 00:21:40.083
Fuck me.
00:21:44.458 --> 00:21:45.916
What did she say?
00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:48.125
Sorry. Sorry. Just, um...
00:21:48.208 --> 00:21:50.291
- I'll be back in one second.
- Yeah, yeah.
00:21:50.708 --> 00:21:51.916
I understood that.
00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:54.541
No, that's not
what she was trying to say.
00:22:06.416 --> 00:22:08.250
-Hey.
-Marc.
00:22:08.333 --> 00:22:10.250
What the fuck are you doing here?
00:22:10.708 --> 00:22:11.791
You're surprised to see me?
00:22:11.875 --> 00:22:14.541
Yeah, I am a bit.
I mean, everyone else was invited.
00:22:14.875 --> 00:22:15.708
What do you want?
00:22:15.791 --> 00:22:17.041
I know! I know!
00:22:17.125 --> 00:22:19.458
You felt like you had to
go through with this facade.
00:22:19.666 --> 00:22:21.458
But, uh... But I'm here now.
00:22:21.791 --> 00:22:25.250
And I'm ready for us to be a happy couple.
00:22:26.250 --> 00:22:27.083
What?
00:22:28.458 --> 00:22:32.083
Uh, I am already in a happy couple
with my husband,
00:22:32.166 --> 00:22:33.583
who's just in that next room.
00:22:33.666 --> 00:22:35.041
- Hello!
- Beautiful wedding.
00:22:35.125 --> 00:22:37.125
So nice of you.
I'll come and find you in a moment.
00:22:37.208 --> 00:22:38.208
I'll come and find you.
00:22:38.291 --> 00:22:39.875
I've told you several times,
I am not--
00:22:39.958 --> 00:22:41.583
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
00:22:41.666 --> 00:22:44.166
-I am not interested.
-No, I know, I know, I know.
00:22:44.250 --> 00:22:46.791
Because-- Because you thought
I didn't really love you,
00:22:46.875 --> 00:22:49.666
but now I'm proving that I do
by doing something properly romantic.
00:22:49.750 --> 00:22:52.208
This is not properly romantic,
this is psychopathic!
00:22:52.291 --> 00:22:53.541
Please, Marc, just leave.
00:22:53.625 --> 00:22:55.416
-Just leave now, please.
-I just got here.
00:22:55.500 --> 00:22:57.583
If you don't leave,
I will have security throw you out.
00:22:57.666 --> 00:22:59.541
Uh, why-- why don't you try that?
00:22:59.625 --> 00:23:00.708
See what happens.
00:23:01.250 --> 00:23:02.875
-Listen, you tosser--
-Hayley.
00:23:03.375 --> 00:23:05.250
- Hey.
- Oh, Roberto.
00:23:05.333 --> 00:23:07.791
Is this one of your English friends
I'm always hearing about?
00:23:07.875 --> 00:23:09.375
Hi, I'm Roberto.
00:23:09.458 --> 00:23:11.125
Yes, yes, this is, uh...
00:23:11.791 --> 00:23:13.750
This is Marc.
00:23:13.833 --> 00:23:16.666
Um, but he just popped in
and, sadly, can't stay.
00:23:16.750 --> 00:23:19.291
-Yes, I can.
-No. No, you can't, because...
00:23:19.375 --> 00:23:21.875
well, there's, um... there's nowhere
for you to sit, for a start.
00:23:21.958 --> 00:23:23.791
Oh, no, no, it's no problem.
00:23:23.958 --> 00:23:27.166
Your cousin, Laura, couldn't make it,
so we can put him on the English table.
00:23:27.250 --> 00:23:28.458
Oh!
00:23:28.541 --> 00:23:30.166
There you go. Perfect.
00:23:30.250 --> 00:23:31.583
-Come. I'll organize.
-Brilliant.
00:23:31.666 --> 00:23:33.166
- Roberto, just...
- Come on.
00:23:33.250 --> 00:23:34.166
Um...
00:23:34.500 --> 00:23:35.458
Yes...
00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:37.833
Fuck!
00:23:38.541 --> 00:23:39.416
What about you?
00:23:39.500 --> 00:23:41.500
- You had a boyfriend.
- Yeah. No more, though.
00:23:41.583 --> 00:23:44.291
He thought it was a good idea to sleep
with almost all of his staff.
00:23:44.375 --> 00:23:45.583
- Ouch.
- So, yeah.
00:23:45.666 --> 00:23:48.958
So it was either fly out for Hayley's
beautiful wedding in Rome,
00:23:49.041 --> 00:23:51.250
or go home
and kick the living fuck out of him.
00:23:51.333 --> 00:23:52.333
It's not too late.
00:23:52.416 --> 00:23:55.875
You know, you could always kick
the fuck out of him when you get back.
00:23:55.958 --> 00:23:56.833
Best of both worlds.
00:23:56.916 --> 00:23:59.125
I get back on Tuesday.
I can fuck him up then.
00:24:00.875 --> 00:24:01.875
Just before we...
00:24:02.666 --> 00:24:03.500
Yeah?
00:24:05.500 --> 00:24:06.333
Uh...
00:24:08.208 --> 00:24:10.416
I... I used to ask about you...
00:24:11.375 --> 00:24:12.291
all the time.
00:24:15.166 --> 00:24:16.583
I used to ask about you, too.
00:24:20.833 --> 00:24:22.000
There she is!
00:24:22.083 --> 00:24:25.583
-Hi! You look so beautiful!
-So do you. It's so great to see you.
00:24:25.916 --> 00:24:28.000
-I'm just gonna borrow him. One second.
-Yeah.
00:24:28.083 --> 00:24:29.375
We'll be right back. Sorry.
00:24:29.458 --> 00:24:31.458
Hold that thought, please. Hold it.
00:24:50.208 --> 00:24:51.833
Oh, my God, Hayles.
00:24:52.333 --> 00:24:54.458
She's even more gorgeous than I remember.
00:24:54.708 --> 00:24:56.375
Look, I know you're busy,
00:24:56.458 --> 00:24:58.291
but you said there was an English table.
00:24:58.375 --> 00:24:59.333
Is she on that table?
00:24:59.416 --> 00:25:01.625
Can you just--
Can you shut up for a second?
00:25:01.916 --> 00:25:04.083
Just listen to me
'cause I've got a bit of a problem.
00:25:04.166 --> 00:25:06.458
-Fine. What is it?
-Marc Fisher is here.
00:25:06.666 --> 00:25:08.250
-What, the creep from school?
-Yes.
00:25:08.333 --> 00:25:09.958
Why the hell did you invite him?
00:25:10.041 --> 00:25:11.833
I didn't invite him, he just came.
00:25:11.916 --> 00:25:13.083
Well, just tell him to leave.
00:25:13.166 --> 00:25:15.208
You can't just turn up
to a wedding uninvited.
00:25:15.291 --> 00:25:16.375
Jack, you don't understand.
00:25:16.458 --> 00:25:18.375
He's saying that he's in love with me,
00:25:18.458 --> 00:25:21.333
and he's threatening to go full-on psycho
and ruin my wedding!
00:25:21.958 --> 00:25:24.166
-He's what?
-I know. He's fucking nuts.
00:25:24.250 --> 00:25:26.333
And he's fucking coked up to his eyeballs!
00:25:26.666 --> 00:25:28.958
All right. Okay. Don't worry.
I'll-- I'll get him out.
00:25:29.041 --> 00:25:31.375
You can't! He's too volatile.
God knows how he'll react.
00:25:31.458 --> 00:25:34.583
-All right. So what, then?
-I don't know! I don't know! I don't know!
00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:36.458
Oh, God. Have you got my pills?
00:25:37.250 --> 00:25:39.958
Come on. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:25:40.041 --> 00:25:43.083
-You're not gonna vom', are you?
-God, you better have a bucket.
00:25:43.166 --> 00:25:44.458
Fuck!
00:25:44.958 --> 00:25:45.791
Just don't vom--
00:25:45.875 --> 00:25:47.208
-Oh, my God.
-What?
00:25:47.291 --> 00:25:48.333
What? What? What?
00:25:49.666 --> 00:25:50.875
Yes. Yes.
00:25:51.541 --> 00:25:53.625
This is the sleep medicine
that I've been taking.
00:25:53.708 --> 00:25:55.708
Couple of drops of this,
it would knock him out for hours.
00:25:55.791 --> 00:25:57.041
It's seriously strong.
00:25:57.625 --> 00:25:59.416
Sorry, what?
00:25:59.500 --> 00:26:03.083
And Roberto has put him on your table.
Oh, my God, it's perfect.
00:26:03.166 --> 00:26:06.000
Just put a couple of drops of that
in his champagne glass.
00:26:06.083 --> 00:26:06.958
It'll be brilliant.
00:26:07.041 --> 00:26:09.666
But just use it sparingly
'cause it's the last that I have, okay?
00:26:09.750 --> 00:26:10.666
Put it in your pocket.
00:26:10.750 --> 00:26:12.250
-Just a quick question.
-Yes?
00:26:12.916 --> 00:26:14.125
Are you fucking mental?
00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:16.791
I'm not gonna roofie Marc Fisher.
00:26:16.875 --> 00:26:18.083
Listen, Jack.
00:26:18.166 --> 00:26:20.875
Marc is just about mad enough
to ruin this whole wedding
00:26:20.958 --> 00:26:23.500
and humiliate me
in front of my new family,
00:26:23.583 --> 00:26:26.291
many of whom already think
I'm a bit of a dick.
00:26:26.375 --> 00:26:28.458
-There has to be another way.
-There is no other way.
00:26:28.541 --> 00:26:30.291
-There isn't. Please.
-There has to be.
00:26:30.375 --> 00:26:32.625
-No, there is no other way.
-There has to be another way!
00:26:32.708 --> 00:26:33.541
Jack--
00:26:33.625 --> 00:26:36.625
Hayley! Why do you keep disappearing,
my beautiful?
00:26:37.708 --> 00:26:39.083
-We need to do the photos.
-Oh!
00:26:39.166 --> 00:26:40.583
- Hey.
- Hey.
00:26:40.666 --> 00:26:42.375
Your sister is an angel, isn't she?
00:26:44.666 --> 00:26:45.708
-Yeah!
-Yes.
00:26:45.791 --> 00:26:46.666
Come.
00:26:47.833 --> 00:26:48.666
Hayley...
00:26:49.875 --> 00:26:52.083
Hayles? Hayles?
00:26:52.458 --> 00:26:53.416
Hayles?
00:26:53.500 --> 00:26:54.416
Hayley!
00:26:58.500 --> 00:27:00.666
She's your sister. She's your sister.
She's your sister.
00:27:02.916 --> 00:27:03.916
Okay.
00:27:10.041 --> 00:27:10.875
Ciao.
00:27:37.916 --> 00:27:39.750
You fucking owe me, Hayley.
00:27:49.875 --> 00:27:52.250
Do you know
how many different ways eight people
00:27:52.333 --> 00:27:53.416
can sit around a table?
00:27:54.208 --> 00:27:56.916
No, don't try to work it out.
It's really complicated math.
00:27:57.000 --> 00:27:57.958
You won't be able to.
00:27:58.458 --> 00:27:59.541
But there are thousands.
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:00.916
Trust me.
00:28:01.208 --> 00:28:02.458
Look it up later.
00:28:03.041 --> 00:28:04.375
Anyway, the point is,
00:28:04.458 --> 00:28:08.250
something as seemingly insignificant
as where we're sitting at a table
00:28:09.041 --> 00:28:10.583
is actually chance
00:28:11.208 --> 00:28:13.750
dictating whether love will succeed
00:28:14.166 --> 00:28:15.041
or fail.
00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:30.375
Signore e signori,
ladies and gentlemen...
00:28:33.583 --> 00:28:35.791
Please be seated.
Lunch will be served.
00:28:48.625 --> 00:28:50.583
Come on. Come on. Come on.
00:28:50.666 --> 00:28:52.666
He's just a man. No different to anyone.
00:28:53.583 --> 00:28:57.000
A handsome, imposing,
successful man.
00:28:57.083 --> 00:28:59.458
But it's fine.
Just go over and say hello for God's sake.
00:28:59.541 --> 00:29:00.625
"Hi, I'm Bryan."
00:29:00.708 --> 00:29:01.666
See, it's easy.
00:29:02.458 --> 00:29:03.750
He's only human.
00:29:03.833 --> 00:29:05.541
He goes to the toilet
just like anyone else.
00:29:06.166 --> 00:29:07.208
Just imagine him naked.
00:29:07.750 --> 00:29:08.958
Yeah, a naked man.
00:29:09.041 --> 00:29:11.125
Just a naked man shitting on a toilet.
00:29:27.208 --> 00:29:29.375
Oh, we're sat beside each other.
How fun is that?
00:29:29.458 --> 00:29:30.791
Brilliant.
00:29:37.166 --> 00:29:38.083
Thanks.
00:29:41.458 --> 00:29:42.291
Mm.
00:29:42.375 --> 00:29:43.208
Thank you.
00:29:45.500 --> 00:29:46.583
More, please. Thanks.
00:29:48.666 --> 00:29:50.166
Ahh!
00:29:51.833 --> 00:29:52.708
Hi.
00:29:53.041 --> 00:29:54.000
Hi.
00:29:54.208 --> 00:29:56.041
I'm here. And you are...
00:29:56.625 --> 00:29:57.833
-There. Right.
-Not quite...
00:29:58.291 --> 00:29:59.458
Okay.
00:29:59.541 --> 00:30:01.125
We can just, you know,
wave at each other.
00:30:03.375 --> 00:30:04.541
- Hi.
- Hi.
00:30:04.666 --> 00:30:05.916
-Hello, I'm Bryan.
-Dina.
00:30:06.333 --> 00:30:07.166
Wait...
00:30:07.750 --> 00:30:08.708
Wait a second...
00:30:10.541 --> 00:30:11.833
Hey, man. Hey.
00:30:14.375 --> 00:30:15.791
Look, can I just, uh...
00:30:18.500 --> 00:30:19.333
Cheers.
00:30:21.750 --> 00:30:22.625
Uh...
00:30:23.375 --> 00:30:25.083
There's no way his cock's
bigger than mine.
00:30:25.166 --> 00:30:27.250
It might be thicker,
but it's definitely not longer.
00:30:27.333 --> 00:30:29.166
Are you seriously
still going on about this?
00:30:29.458 --> 00:30:30.500
Well, yeah.
00:30:31.208 --> 00:30:34.041
For you information,
thicker is just as important.
00:30:34.125 --> 00:30:36.541
You don't want a long, thin pencil dick
going up there.
00:30:37.208 --> 00:30:39.333
-Have I got a pencil dick?
-Can you please stop?
00:30:39.416 --> 00:30:41.875
-You're like a 12-year-old.
-I haven't got the equipment of one.
00:30:41.958 --> 00:30:43.833
No, you don't.
You have the brain of one, though.
00:30:43.916 --> 00:30:44.875
Okay, well...
00:30:46.625 --> 00:30:48.500
- Hey.
- Oh, hello.
00:30:51.625 --> 00:30:53.250
You have got to be kidding me.
00:30:53.583 --> 00:30:55.791
Oh, great. I'm not even sitting with you.
00:30:55.875 --> 00:30:57.916
I've got to sit
with people I don't know.
00:30:58.000 --> 00:30:59.500
What was your sister thinking, Jack?
00:30:59.583 --> 00:31:01.583
You know, I have really no idea.
00:31:01.916 --> 00:31:03.541
- All right?
- Hi.
00:31:03.875 --> 00:31:05.000
This is brilliant, innit?
00:31:05.083 --> 00:31:06.083
Ah!
00:31:08.125 --> 00:31:09.791
-We're meant to be together.
-Mm.
00:31:09.875 --> 00:31:10.833
Apparently.
00:31:16.125 --> 00:31:17.625
- Hi, everyone.
- All right, mate?
00:31:21.083 --> 00:31:22.333
What's Marc Fisher doing here?
00:31:22.791 --> 00:31:23.833
Uh, I'll explain later.
00:31:23.916 --> 00:31:26.458
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. and Mrs. Carboni.
00:31:37.791 --> 00:31:39.625
Cheers. Cheers, guys. Marc.
00:31:40.083 --> 00:31:42.791
Welcome to table four.
Yeah, to table four.
00:31:42.875 --> 00:31:44.500
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
00:31:45.208 --> 00:31:46.500
Cheers.
00:31:48.875 --> 00:31:50.416
- To us.
- Cheers.
00:31:50.500 --> 00:31:51.458
Could be.
00:31:55.125 --> 00:31:55.958
Thank you.
00:31:56.833 --> 00:31:59.583
So how long have you and Amanda
been seeing each other?
00:31:59.666 --> 00:32:01.916
-I've been with her for about a year.
-Whoa!
00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:04.166
Yeah, and she's chose
to sit next to her ex-boyfriend
00:32:04.250 --> 00:32:06.000
over her actual boyfriend, so...
00:32:06.083 --> 00:32:07.250
It is pretty rude.
00:32:07.333 --> 00:32:11.041
Especially when you consider
what sort of, um, relationship they had.
00:32:11.125 --> 00:32:13.416
-What do you mean?
-It was all very physical, you know?
00:32:13.500 --> 00:32:14.791
I personally don't believe
00:32:14.875 --> 00:32:18.166
that any sort of meaningful relationship
is ever built on that much sex,
00:32:18.250 --> 00:32:20.208
so it is kind of weird
that they'd sit together.
00:32:20.291 --> 00:32:22.000
It's just like more...
00:32:22.083 --> 00:32:22.958
And less, like...
00:32:23.041 --> 00:32:24.666
-Do you know what I mean?
-Yes. Yeah.
00:32:24.750 --> 00:32:26.500
Lots of banging, but very little chat.
00:32:26.583 --> 00:32:29.666
And, you know, where does that sort
of thing end up, you know?
00:32:29.750 --> 00:32:32.125
Sorry, mate, can we get a proper drink?
00:32:32.208 --> 00:32:33.541
All about the...
00:32:33.625 --> 00:32:35.583
And not about the...
Know what I mean?
00:32:35.666 --> 00:32:36.500
Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:36.875 --> 00:32:39.500
I see you're wearing
the cuff links I bought you.
00:32:40.791 --> 00:32:42.000
Oh, yeah.
00:32:42.500 --> 00:32:44.166
Well, they were the only ones I had, so...
00:32:46.125 --> 00:32:46.958
Fuck you.
00:32:48.250 --> 00:32:50.833
So, um, I hear you're a journalist.
00:32:51.833 --> 00:32:53.000
-Yeah.
-In journalism.
00:32:53.750 --> 00:32:54.791
Yes, that's right.
00:32:54.875 --> 00:32:56.333
Yes, got it in one.
00:32:57.708 --> 00:32:59.333
So, what is that? Fashion stuff?
00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:01.291
No, I'm a war journalist.
00:33:01.375 --> 00:33:02.750
I think someone said-- Hang on.
00:33:02.833 --> 00:33:03.875
Did you get kidnapped?
00:33:04.208 --> 00:33:05.166
Yes. Yeah.
00:33:05.875 --> 00:33:06.708
Whoops.
00:33:06.791 --> 00:33:08.958
-Yeah, whoops.
-Big whoops. No, not whoops.
00:33:09.041 --> 00:33:11.375
But you know what I mean, like, careless.
Well, not careless.
00:33:11.458 --> 00:33:13.416
-No, not careless.
-So what happened there?
00:33:13.833 --> 00:33:15.750
We were on a report in Afghanistan and--
00:33:15.833 --> 00:33:17.750
Oh, there's your first mistake.
00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:20.708
Afghanistan, if you please.
00:33:22.041 --> 00:33:23.458
And what happened? Don't tell me.
00:33:23.583 --> 00:33:25.375
Um, well, the Taliban--
00:33:25.458 --> 00:33:27.750
-The Taliban, quelle suprise. Yeah.
-Right.
00:33:27.833 --> 00:33:31.125
Yeah, there were Taliban forces
who came into our space--
00:33:31.208 --> 00:33:32.166
Uninvited?
00:33:33.541 --> 00:33:34.958
-Yeah.
-Of course they were.
00:33:35.041 --> 00:33:37.250
-Of course.
-Why are you inviting the Taliban?
00:33:38.333 --> 00:33:40.291
Doing a report in Afghanistan,
00:33:40.375 --> 00:33:42.916
and the Taliban forces came in
and took us outside,
00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:45.000
-lined us up, held guns to our heads--
-What were you wearing?
00:33:45.083 --> 00:33:47.041
-What?
-What were you wearing?
00:33:47.125 --> 00:33:48.791
Because, obviously, this would be, um...
00:33:49.708 --> 00:33:50.541
not for them.
00:33:50.625 --> 00:33:53.291
Out there they don't like the, um,
exposed...
00:33:55.291 --> 00:33:56.166
breast.
00:33:57.208 --> 00:33:58.875
Not that this is exposed. This is...
00:33:59.583 --> 00:34:00.958
This is... Yeah.
00:34:01.041 --> 00:34:03.000
Absolutely... very well judged.
00:34:03.083 --> 00:34:04.250
I'd kidnap you.
00:34:04.333 --> 00:34:05.250
-Oh.
-Mm-hmm.
00:34:06.625 --> 00:34:09.125
The proof was in the pudding.
They ended up breaking up.
00:34:09.208 --> 00:34:11.708
Well, no, because she keeps talking
about his massive dick, so...
00:34:11.791 --> 00:34:15.291
-Really?
-Yeah, well, mine's big anyway, so...
00:34:15.375 --> 00:34:17.708
-How big?
-Bigger than his, probably.
00:34:17.791 --> 00:34:19.458
What you talking about? A spoon or a fork?
00:34:19.541 --> 00:34:21.500
-Both.
-Can you point out on the table what size?
00:34:21.625 --> 00:34:23.250
Both. Stuck together.
00:34:23.333 --> 00:34:24.916
-Those two stuck together?
-Yes.
00:34:32.583 --> 00:34:36.083
-Who's the American?
-Oh, that's Hayley's friend, Dina.
00:34:36.166 --> 00:34:39.166
God, yeah, the lady you met in Rome
and wouldn't stop going on about.
00:34:39.250 --> 00:34:40.291
I don't go on about her.
00:34:40.375 --> 00:34:43.458
Oh, come on, you found every excuse
in the world to talk about her.
00:34:43.541 --> 00:34:46.416
We'd been there for, uh, many days.
00:34:46.500 --> 00:34:50.291
We actually had no idea if it was,
you know, day or night at that point and--
00:34:50.375 --> 00:34:51.666
I'm in car insurance.
00:34:53.458 --> 00:34:55.375
-What?
-I'm in car insurance.
00:34:58.166 --> 00:34:59.375
-Okay.
-It is okay.
00:34:59.708 --> 00:35:00.666
Oh, okay.
00:35:00.750 --> 00:35:02.916
It's not as boring as it sounds,
thank you.
00:35:04.125 --> 00:35:06.875
-I'm sorry. Go ahead.
-That's fine. So, yes, um...
00:35:06.958 --> 00:35:10.958
I work with a couple of guys
called Jim and, um, Jeff.
00:35:11.166 --> 00:35:13.458
Well, I call him Jeff.
Jim calls him Jeffrey.
00:35:13.916 --> 00:35:16.041
Jim started in 2001.
00:35:16.583 --> 00:35:18.041
And then Jeff started...
00:35:18.125 --> 00:35:19.375
-Lovely.
-Thanks.
00:35:19.458 --> 00:35:20.291
Grazie.
00:35:20.750 --> 00:35:21.916
-Grazie.
-That's it.
00:35:22.291 --> 00:35:25.416
And then Jeff started
a couple of years after that...
00:35:25.500 --> 00:35:27.083
I thought she had a boyfriend.
00:35:27.166 --> 00:35:28.541
Well, not anymore.
00:35:28.916 --> 00:35:31.000
Turns out he cheated on her
really horrifically.
00:35:31.083 --> 00:35:32.500
Oh, that's great, man.
00:35:32.583 --> 00:35:34.833
That's great. You should really
take your chance this time.
00:35:34.916 --> 00:35:36.416
Well, now I intend to.
00:35:36.500 --> 00:35:40.375
So, yes, Jim and Jeff
are hilarious.
00:35:40.458 --> 00:35:42.541
God, you're slinging 'em back,
aren't you?
00:35:43.000 --> 00:35:45.458
-You know, if the situation calls for it.
-Oh, sure.
00:35:45.541 --> 00:35:46.375
Which it does.
00:35:46.458 --> 00:35:48.375
Were you allowed to drink
when you were kidnapped?
00:36:09.333 --> 00:36:11.041
Another time.
I must tell you this.
00:36:11.125 --> 00:36:13.416
I've parked my bike
and outside it's spring,
00:36:13.500 --> 00:36:15.375
and locked her up, and I go in,
00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:16.958
open the door,
00:36:17.041 --> 00:36:18.041
and, um, syrup.
00:36:18.791 --> 00:36:19.791
-What?
-Syrup.
00:36:19.875 --> 00:36:21.833
-Syrup?
-Syrup all on the door handle.
00:36:21.916 --> 00:36:24.541
To the extent that there's syrup
actually on the floor underneath it.
00:36:24.625 --> 00:36:26.333
-On the carpet.
-Another Jeff bit?
00:36:26.416 --> 00:36:27.750
Jim. What, Jeff?
00:36:28.333 --> 00:36:29.833
I said, "Jeff bit," like Jeff--
00:36:29.916 --> 00:36:31.916
No, this is not Jeff. This is before Jeff.
00:36:32.458 --> 00:36:33.458
Oh, I'm sorry, I--
00:36:33.833 --> 00:36:35.041
Yeah, you're right, it's...
00:36:36.625 --> 00:36:38.750
This is Jim. Am I talking to myself?
00:36:38.833 --> 00:36:39.666
No.
00:36:39.958 --> 00:36:41.916
Jeff didn't start until 2008.
00:36:42.666 --> 00:36:43.625
No, hang on a minute.
00:36:43.708 --> 00:36:44.916
I'd got rid of the bike,
00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:47.666
so he would've started in the spring...
00:36:47.750 --> 00:36:48.583
of...
00:36:48.791 --> 00:36:51.166
two thousand and...
00:36:51.708 --> 00:36:52.708
wait for it...
00:36:53.458 --> 00:36:55.708
-You know what? Don't worry about it.
-May as well get it.
00:36:55.791 --> 00:36:56.625
Bryan.
00:36:57.750 --> 00:36:59.458
Bryan, can you do me a favor, mate?
00:36:59.958 --> 00:37:02.791
Could you keep an eye on Marc?
If he moves, just come and grab me.
00:37:04.166 --> 00:37:05.958
I'm gonna make my move.
00:37:06.041 --> 00:37:06.875
Wish me luck.
00:37:07.291 --> 00:37:09.666
It was 2006, back on in--
00:37:09.750 --> 00:37:11.583
Yes, 2008. Yes, here he his.
00:37:11.666 --> 00:37:13.208
-Sorry to interrupt.
-Hello.
00:37:13.291 --> 00:37:16.750
Good, man. Um, just wondering if you
want to grab a drink at the bar.
00:37:16.833 --> 00:37:19.500
-I would love to. Excuse us.
-That sounds fantastic!
00:37:23.958 --> 00:37:24.791
Okay.
00:37:25.041 --> 00:37:27.625
- You coming, Jack?
- Yeah. Of course.
00:37:44.541 --> 00:37:45.875
Oh, Vitelli.
00:37:46.333 --> 00:37:48.375
-What? Where are you going?
-Vitelli.
00:37:48.625 --> 00:37:50.958
-Oh, do you want me to come with you?
-God, no.
00:37:51.875 --> 00:37:52.708
Cool.
00:37:54.750 --> 00:37:56.666
Oh... I told you...
00:37:58.708 --> 00:38:00.500
Mr... Mr. Vitelli.
00:38:01.416 --> 00:38:02.833
-Yeah?
-My name is Bryan.
00:38:02.958 --> 00:38:04.500
Oh, nice to meet you.
00:38:05.291 --> 00:38:06.125
Bryan?
00:38:09.541 --> 00:38:11.458
Mm. Sorry. Um...
00:38:11.541 --> 00:38:13.250
Would you mind if I sit down?
00:38:14.875 --> 00:38:16.166
I just want to sit down.
00:38:17.875 --> 00:38:19.166
It's okay, Bryan. Can I help you?
00:38:19.250 --> 00:38:20.541
-Oh, yes.
-Yeah?
00:38:20.625 --> 00:38:24.916
Mr. Vitelli, I just wanted to say
that I am such a huge fan.
00:38:25.458 --> 00:38:27.958
-Thank you. Thank you very much.
-No, really, I am.
00:38:28.208 --> 00:38:33.833
And I would just be fascinated
to understand where you get the...
00:38:35.125 --> 00:38:36.500
...idea for your films.
00:38:36.833 --> 00:38:38.250
-The ideas?
-The ideas.
00:38:38.333 --> 00:38:39.458
Oh, well...
00:38:39.541 --> 00:38:40.458
Uh...
00:38:40.916 --> 00:38:43.416
Well, you know,
the thing about ideas is that...
00:38:43.750 --> 00:38:44.750
Hmm.
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:46.500
...they're not created.
00:38:46.583 --> 00:38:48.500
They come to you just like...
00:38:49.083 --> 00:38:51.041
um, happy accidents.
00:38:51.583 --> 00:38:54.208
You know what I mean?
Inside you. Just really...
00:38:55.333 --> 00:38:57.625
from somewhere inside you.
Some secret, dark...
00:38:58.333 --> 00:39:00.708
-Dark place.
-...blind place inside of you.
00:39:00.791 --> 00:39:01.916
That's brilliant.
00:39:07.833 --> 00:39:08.708
Hey, man?
00:39:16.166 --> 00:39:17.041
Mm.
00:39:17.916 --> 00:39:18.750
Vitelli.
00:39:20.833 --> 00:39:23.166
-Okay, thank you for coming.
-Thank you.
00:39:23.250 --> 00:39:24.083
Thank you.
00:39:27.208 --> 00:39:29.125
-It's been nice to talk with you.
-Thank you.
00:39:29.208 --> 00:39:30.125
Yeah.
00:39:30.416 --> 00:39:31.250
Thank you.
00:39:35.458 --> 00:39:36.291
How'd it go?
00:39:36.750 --> 00:39:37.583
Hm?
00:39:37.666 --> 00:39:40.166
-Vitelli? How did it go?
-Yeah, all right.
00:39:40.250 --> 00:39:41.666
Oh, my God, I knew it.
00:39:41.750 --> 00:39:43.333
What a story. What a night.
00:39:43.416 --> 00:39:45.833
That is nuts.
I can see that you're buzzin'.
00:39:56.041 --> 00:39:58.458
Jeff's stood there, laughing.
He's still got the glove on.
00:39:58.541 --> 00:40:00.208
-Laughing behind the glove.
-Oh.
00:40:00.291 --> 00:40:02.375
Still, also with the purple track suit.
00:40:02.458 --> 00:40:05.708
And I'm like, "Yeah, that worked.
That worked. As planned."
00:40:05.791 --> 00:40:07.166
-Sidney, sorry.
-Mm.
00:40:07.833 --> 00:40:09.958
I'd hate to sound rude, but, um...
00:40:11.083 --> 00:40:12.541
I was just kind of hoping
00:40:12.625 --> 00:40:15.458
to have kind of a private chat.
00:40:15.541 --> 00:40:17.291
As in...
00:40:17.375 --> 00:40:18.583
just the two of us.
00:40:19.041 --> 00:40:19.958
Man to man.
00:40:21.791 --> 00:40:23.166
Would you mind just, um...?
00:40:26.708 --> 00:40:28.000
Okay, Sidney?
00:40:28.083 --> 00:40:30.916
-Yes, Jack?
-What I meant, uh...
00:40:31.666 --> 00:40:32.958
I meant Dina and me.
00:40:36.250 --> 00:40:37.250
So, where do I go?
00:40:37.333 --> 00:40:38.666
I mean, I don't know, man.
00:40:39.041 --> 00:40:40.166
Uh, over there?
00:40:40.583 --> 00:40:42.000
-Over there?
-Yeah.
00:40:46.416 --> 00:40:47.291
I'll pop off.
00:40:47.958 --> 00:40:50.291
Yeah, you're cool.
I'll see you in a minute.
00:40:50.375 --> 00:40:51.583
-You're cool, too.
-Okay.
00:40:53.125 --> 00:40:54.291
-Oh!
-I feel awful.
00:40:54.666 --> 00:40:56.250
That felt horrible.
00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:06.125
Look at you, you're such a baller.
00:41:06.208 --> 00:41:09.291
You're so chilled out about it. I love it.
I think you're amazing.
00:41:09.375 --> 00:41:11.333
I actually do think you're amazing.
00:41:11.416 --> 00:41:12.416
But whatever, you know?
00:41:15.958 --> 00:41:17.375
She loves you. She loves you!
00:41:19.166 --> 00:41:20.125
She's yours.
00:41:21.083 --> 00:41:21.916
You got this.
00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:24.208
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She definitely loves you.
00:41:27.833 --> 00:41:31.333
Quickly, before Sidney gets back.
Just tell me what you've been up to.
00:41:31.416 --> 00:41:32.458
Quickly? Just tell you--
00:41:32.541 --> 00:41:35.083
Tell me everything you've done
in three years in ten seconds.
00:41:35.166 --> 00:41:36.291
-Just...
-Sid can do that.
00:41:36.375 --> 00:41:39.791
Since the last time I saw you,
I've had a failed relationship.
00:41:39.875 --> 00:41:41.750
Amanda, who's sat right next to me.
00:41:41.833 --> 00:41:43.125
Um...
00:41:43.208 --> 00:41:45.166
Then I went to Asia, traveled around,
00:41:45.250 --> 00:41:47.791
got a horrible disease, um, came back,
00:41:47.875 --> 00:41:50.750
and then I just recently qualified
as a structural engineer...
00:41:51.041 --> 00:41:52.666
at last.
00:41:52.750 --> 00:41:54.000
Hey! That was eight seconds!
00:41:54.083 --> 00:41:55.750
-You were actually counting?
-Mm-hmm.
00:41:55.833 --> 00:41:59.583
I mean, you have two seconds left,
but you don't have anything to fill.
00:41:59.666 --> 00:42:02.291
No, I really don't.
It's a sad, sad, sad admission.
00:42:02.375 --> 00:42:04.583
I mean, that's a lot of just... blah.
00:42:09.875 --> 00:42:11.750
-Hey.
-Sorry, just one second.
00:42:13.333 --> 00:42:14.541
You're-- You're awake.
00:42:14.625 --> 00:42:16.041
I'm awake. Of course I'm awake.
00:42:16.125 --> 00:42:18.458
Why wouldn't I be awake?
Anyway, we need to talk.
00:42:20.083 --> 00:42:21.458
Right. Um, yes.
00:42:21.541 --> 00:42:24.291
Just as long as you're not going to say
that we're meant to be together.
00:42:24.583 --> 00:42:25.708
Oh, uh...
00:42:26.750 --> 00:42:27.833
We are meant to be together.
00:42:28.333 --> 00:42:30.041
What planet are you on, Marc?
00:42:30.750 --> 00:42:32.583
Do you want me to just tattoo it
on my forehead?
00:42:32.666 --> 00:42:34.291
I love Roberto.
00:42:34.583 --> 00:42:36.041
Uh, no.
00:42:37.666 --> 00:42:38.666
What do you mean, "no"?
00:42:38.750 --> 00:42:40.916
The connection between us is undeniable.
00:42:41.000 --> 00:42:43.583
You're just scared of telling Roberto,
but it's okay, it's okay.
00:42:43.666 --> 00:42:46.583
He does need to know,
so you tell him, or I'll do it for you.
00:42:46.666 --> 00:42:48.791
Signore e signori,
ladies and gentlemen...
00:42:52.625 --> 00:42:54.708
We'll now have
our first dance
00:42:54.791 --> 00:42:56.083
with Hayley and Roberto.
00:42:58.666 --> 00:42:59.791
Please stay here.
00:43:32.958 --> 00:43:34.625
So, come on. Your turn.
00:43:35.041 --> 00:43:37.333
I was a foreign correspondent,
as you might remember.
00:43:37.416 --> 00:43:40.500
I went off to some very horrific places.
00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:43.291
I saw a lot of people get shot.
I was kidnapped.
00:43:43.375 --> 00:43:44.291
Came back home.
00:43:44.375 --> 00:43:46.416
My mom got sick and died.
00:43:46.500 --> 00:43:48.208
And I found out that my boyfriend
00:43:48.291 --> 00:43:51.916
loves having sex with anything
with an available orifice, so...
00:43:54.416 --> 00:43:55.250
That's...
00:43:55.625 --> 00:43:56.833
-Wow.
-That's it.
00:43:57.833 --> 00:43:59.708
- Um...
- Yeah.
00:44:00.166 --> 00:44:01.125
I'm sorry.
00:44:01.458 --> 00:44:03.750
Oh, yeah, it's okay. It's just--
You know, it's life.
00:44:03.833 --> 00:44:06.125
No, I mean I'm sorry
that it was 12 seconds.
00:44:07.291 --> 00:44:08.208
So, that's...
00:44:08.625 --> 00:44:10.458
Oh, it means you lose.
00:44:11.083 --> 00:44:11.958
Wow.
00:44:12.041 --> 00:44:12.916
Well, let's...
00:44:13.625 --> 00:44:14.583
Hey, let's just hope...
00:44:15.375 --> 00:44:17.541
it's only good luck from now, right?
00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:19.416
Yeah, fingers crossed.
00:44:31.625 --> 00:44:33.125
-Your dress!
-Sorry!
00:44:33.208 --> 00:44:35.791
-Where are we going?
-Just here is fine. Just here.
00:44:37.041 --> 00:44:38.541
-You okay?
-No, not really.
00:44:38.625 --> 00:44:40.875
-Marc is still totally fucking wide awake!
-What? How?
00:44:40.958 --> 00:44:42.666
Jesus, Jack. It was a simple plan.
00:44:42.750 --> 00:44:44.291
How did you mess this up?
00:44:44.375 --> 00:44:45.375
Hey!
00:44:45.458 --> 00:44:47.791
You do know this is my first time
spiking someone's drink.
00:44:47.875 --> 00:44:48.750
Shush!
00:44:48.833 --> 00:44:51.500
-I already feel awful about it, and now--
-Yeah, I know.
00:44:51.583 --> 00:44:55.125
Look, please, will you just make sure
he doesn't go anywhere near Roberto?
00:44:55.208 --> 00:44:56.458
I have to go and do something.
00:44:56.541 --> 00:44:58.916
-What do you have to go do?
-Just more fucking photos!
00:44:59.500 --> 00:45:00.791
How's it going with Dina?
00:45:01.250 --> 00:45:03.041
Yeah, no, it's good, it's good, it's good.
00:45:03.125 --> 00:45:04.333
-It's good.
-That's great.
00:45:04.416 --> 00:45:06.291
You know what, though?
It's like Mum used to say.
00:45:06.375 --> 00:45:08.416
You expect the worst,
but hope for the best,
00:45:08.500 --> 00:45:10.208
and I feel like this is our moment.
00:45:10.291 --> 00:45:12.458
-This is-- This is--
-Yeah, that's great. Great.
00:45:21.291 --> 00:45:22.208
Hello, nads.
00:45:23.041 --> 00:45:23.875
Hello.
00:45:24.083 --> 00:45:25.125
-Hi.
-Hi.
00:45:25.208 --> 00:45:27.875
-I'm Cristina.
-Would you mind holding that, Cristina?
00:45:28.833 --> 00:45:30.125
I need to do a bit of, um...
00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:32.833
a bit of admin.
00:45:34.375 --> 00:45:36.000
Kilt... Hang on.
00:45:37.166 --> 00:45:38.000
Sorry.
00:45:39.041 --> 00:45:40.125
Under the, uh...
00:45:41.208 --> 00:45:42.916
How do they bloody do this?
00:45:44.083 --> 00:45:46.541
That's wrapped 'round like nunchucks.
00:45:47.625 --> 00:45:48.541
Ah.
00:45:48.958 --> 00:45:49.833
Just unwrapping.
00:45:54.250 --> 00:45:55.416
Hm. Hey presto.
00:45:56.208 --> 00:45:58.083
Thank you. I'm Sidney.
00:45:58.166 --> 00:45:59.000
Okay.
00:45:59.625 --> 00:46:00.500
Okay.
00:46:01.208 --> 00:46:02.083
That's okay.
00:46:02.833 --> 00:46:03.750
Off she goes.
00:46:11.666 --> 00:46:12.541
Mm!
00:46:12.958 --> 00:46:14.458
Hey, man. Uh...
00:46:14.583 --> 00:46:15.416
All right?
00:46:15.500 --> 00:46:17.208
I was gonna say, well done back there.
00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:18.833
Excuse me?
00:46:18.916 --> 00:46:20.291
No, it's the way you orchestrated
00:46:20.375 --> 00:46:22.791
that you'd be sitting next to Amanda
at the wedding.
00:46:23.750 --> 00:46:27.125
What, you think I wanted to sit next to
my ex-girlfriend at my sister's wedding?
00:46:27.208 --> 00:46:28.708
But I'm not a masochist.
00:46:28.791 --> 00:46:31.291
-Bit of a coincidence, though, isn't it?
-Is it, though?
00:46:31.375 --> 00:46:32.833
Yeah, it is. You know, yeah.
00:46:32.916 --> 00:46:35.666
Look, uh, mate, um...
00:46:35.750 --> 00:46:38.875
Amanda and I are totally, totally done.
00:46:38.958 --> 00:46:40.416
I mean, we went out for two years,
00:46:40.500 --> 00:46:42.708
but by the end of which,
we pretty much hated each other.
00:46:42.791 --> 00:46:44.208
So you're saying you hate her now, eh?
00:46:44.750 --> 00:46:47.083
-"Hate" is a strong word.
-You just said it.
00:46:47.166 --> 00:46:49.083
But definitely dislike.
00:46:49.666 --> 00:46:50.583
You be careful, mate.
00:46:50.666 --> 00:46:53.000
'Cause that's my future fiancée
you're talking about.
00:46:53.125 --> 00:46:55.083
-Really?
-What do you mean, "really?"
00:46:56.041 --> 00:46:58.708
Oh, what? Because I haven't got that?
Yeah?
00:46:59.083 --> 00:47:02.375
I couldn't fill those boots? Huh? What?
What went through your mind just then?
00:47:02.458 --> 00:47:04.000
"Oh, this guy in front of me
00:47:04.083 --> 00:47:06.541
has got a really tiny, weird penis
that everyone's laughing at."
00:47:06.625 --> 00:47:08.041
No, they're not. They're laughing at you.
00:47:08.125 --> 00:47:10.625
'Cause you're the weirdo
who's walking around with your big penis.
00:47:10.708 --> 00:47:13.625
"Oh, look at me!
I'm at a wedding with a big dick!
00:47:13.708 --> 00:47:15.875
Everyone respect me
because of my big penis!
00:47:15.958 --> 00:47:18.333
Ooh! Oh, it's really girthy!
It's really girthy!
00:47:18.416 --> 00:47:20.125
Please like it! Please like it!"
00:47:23.041 --> 00:47:25.416
-I'm sorry, you completely lost me.
-Exactly.
00:47:25.750 --> 00:47:27.125
Stay away from her.
00:47:28.333 --> 00:47:29.500
-Okay.
-Good.
00:47:29.583 --> 00:47:30.666
-I will.
-Okay.
00:47:31.416 --> 00:47:32.500
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
00:47:32.583 --> 00:47:34.500
-Good chat.
-Yeah, great chat.
00:47:34.583 --> 00:47:36.333
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
00:47:37.041 --> 00:47:38.416
-All right.
-Yeah.
00:47:40.916 --> 00:47:42.041
Hey.
00:47:43.125 --> 00:47:45.458
-Hey, you.
-Is everything okay?
00:47:46.833 --> 00:47:48.083
Uh, yeah, yeah.
00:47:49.333 --> 00:47:51.833
- Do you want a drink?
- Yeah, no, I really do.
00:47:51.916 --> 00:47:54.333
I think I might change out the wine
and go for a gin and...
00:47:54.583 --> 00:47:55.458
Fuck.
00:47:56.041 --> 00:47:56.916
One sec.
00:48:00.041 --> 00:48:02.083
He wants a Gin and Fuck, please. Thanks.
00:48:05.000 --> 00:48:06.125
I'm kidding.
00:48:13.166 --> 00:48:14.458
What are you doing?
00:48:14.541 --> 00:48:15.583
- Just here.
- Ow!
00:48:15.666 --> 00:48:16.833
I'm so sorry.
00:48:16.916 --> 00:48:18.125
Sorry. Sorry.
00:48:18.375 --> 00:48:20.958
Um... Why... No, okay.
00:48:21.041 --> 00:48:23.375
Just hold on one sec.
00:48:24.000 --> 00:48:25.041
Sorry.
00:48:25.125 --> 00:48:27.083
I know you have this thing
for Hayley, right,
00:48:27.166 --> 00:48:29.958
but she doesn't feel the same,
so you need to accept that.
00:48:30.041 --> 00:48:31.666
Oh, oh, oh. Is that right?
00:48:31.750 --> 00:48:33.208
Then, um... hmm...
00:48:33.291 --> 00:48:36.125
how come we shagged three weeks ago?
00:48:41.500 --> 00:48:42.875
-What?
-That's right.
00:48:43.625 --> 00:48:45.916
Shagged.
00:48:46.291 --> 00:48:47.541
Just...
00:48:48.000 --> 00:48:50.708
Okay, I really-- I really don't know
what's happening here,
00:48:50.791 --> 00:48:52.166
but I do know that she's happy.
00:48:53.333 --> 00:48:55.416
Please, please don't ruin that.
00:48:55.500 --> 00:48:56.625
Okay, okay.
00:48:56.708 --> 00:48:58.875
But I'm gonna make her happy! Idiot!
00:48:58.958 --> 00:49:01.041
No, okay...
00:49:01.666 --> 00:49:02.791
Okay, okay...
00:49:03.291 --> 00:49:04.458
Oh, God, this is happening!
00:49:04.541 --> 00:49:07.041
I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
00:49:08.291 --> 00:49:11.000
-Ah, now, Jack...
-Sidney!
00:49:11.083 --> 00:49:13.625
I'm gonna nip back to the hotel,
put some trousers on.
00:49:13.708 --> 00:49:15.291
-The kilt's too much.
-Brilliant! Great!
00:49:15.375 --> 00:49:17.875
Could you just give me
a hand for just one second? Sidney!
00:49:17.958 --> 00:49:19.708
-Sidney!
-Yes. Yes, Jack.
00:49:19.791 --> 00:49:21.333
-Sidney!
-Yes, I'm coming.
00:49:22.041 --> 00:49:24.041
-I need to find a room.
-Yeah, what's going on?
00:49:24.125 --> 00:49:25.458
I'll explain it later.
00:49:26.208 --> 00:49:28.583
-I'm Federico Vitelli.
-Dina.
00:49:28.666 --> 00:49:30.500
-Dina, nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
00:49:31.125 --> 00:49:32.000
I love your work.
00:49:32.375 --> 00:49:33.291
Ah!
00:49:33.375 --> 00:49:35.416
We're in! Okay.
00:49:36.083 --> 00:49:37.000
-Sidney?
-Yes?
00:49:37.083 --> 00:49:37.916
-That cupboard!
-Yes.
00:49:38.000 --> 00:49:39.708
-The other door, Sidney!
-Both doors?
00:49:39.791 --> 00:49:41.291
There we go. Okay.
00:49:42.208 --> 00:49:43.166
Wowzers!
00:49:43.250 --> 00:49:45.333
-Please don't put me in the cupboard!
-Bye-bye!
00:49:45.416 --> 00:49:47.125
I think Jim has that painting.
00:49:47.208 --> 00:49:49.250
-Yeah!
-Lovely stuff.
00:49:49.875 --> 00:49:52.333
Please! Help!
00:49:57.541 --> 00:49:58.416
Hello.
00:49:59.083 --> 00:50:00.625
Can I borrow you for a sec?
00:50:00.708 --> 00:50:02.041
Uh, yeah, sure.
00:50:02.208 --> 00:50:03.708
Um, sorry.
00:50:04.250 --> 00:50:05.166
Sorry.
00:50:06.166 --> 00:50:07.083
Jack?
00:50:09.125 --> 00:50:10.083
All right.
00:50:10.375 --> 00:50:11.875
I want an answer, and I want it now.
00:50:12.125 --> 00:50:13.541
About what, Chaz?
00:50:13.625 --> 00:50:15.083
Just the whole marriage thing.
00:50:15.166 --> 00:50:17.666
Look, is it because of your ex-boyfriend?
Is that the issue?
00:50:17.750 --> 00:50:19.500
Oh, God! Don't be ridiculous!
00:50:20.166 --> 00:50:21.583
All right, good, 'cause, um...
00:50:21.958 --> 00:50:23.208
he said he hated you, so...
00:50:24.583 --> 00:50:25.500
Mmm.
00:50:27.458 --> 00:50:28.375
That's good stuff.
00:50:31.333 --> 00:50:32.166
He what?
00:50:37.500 --> 00:50:38.375
Help me!
00:50:38.458 --> 00:50:39.833
I'm in the cupboard!
00:50:40.125 --> 00:50:41.125
Hello!
00:50:52.083 --> 00:50:52.916
What?
00:50:53.583 --> 00:50:56.041
So, I just heard something
a little bit weird.
00:50:56.375 --> 00:50:59.583
Apparently, you shagged
Marc Fisher three weeks ago.
00:51:01.208 --> 00:51:02.125
Did he say that?
00:51:02.791 --> 00:51:05.250
You know, that really is unbelievable.
I mean, the nerve!
00:51:05.333 --> 00:51:08.083
My God! You are the worst liar
in the entire world!
00:51:08.166 --> 00:51:09.375
What were you thinking?
00:51:09.458 --> 00:51:12.208
I know, I really fucked up.
It was an accident.
00:51:12.916 --> 00:51:14.333
- Hello!
- Hello.
00:51:17.708 --> 00:51:19.958
How the hell do you have sex
with someone by accident?
00:51:20.041 --> 00:51:20.916
How does that happen?
00:51:21.000 --> 00:51:22.541
Shh. Please. Let me explain.
00:51:22.625 --> 00:51:24.583
You know when I came to London
a couple weeks ago,
00:51:24.666 --> 00:51:26.291
and I was really fucking stressed
about the wedding?
00:51:26.375 --> 00:51:28.375
I went to the pub,
and I had a couple of drinks,
00:51:28.458 --> 00:51:30.125
and who walks in but Marc Fisher.
00:51:30.208 --> 00:51:32.041
We start chatting,
we had a couple of shots,
00:51:32.125 --> 00:51:34.458
and before we know it,
one thing leads to another, all right?
00:51:34.541 --> 00:51:36.291
But it didn't mean anything, Jack.
00:51:36.750 --> 00:51:40.458
Of course, it turns out that he's been
obsessed with me since we were 15.
00:51:40.541 --> 00:51:43.125
Fifteen, Jack, and nothing ever happened.
00:51:43.208 --> 00:51:45.958
Yeah, we snogged a couple of times.
Maybe he felt my tits. I don't know.
00:51:46.041 --> 00:51:48.791
-Maybe I rubbed him up against his jeans.
-I don't need the details.
00:51:48.875 --> 00:51:49.708
Sorry.
00:51:50.625 --> 00:51:52.708
Jesus, Hayley.
I thought you loved Roberto.
00:51:52.791 --> 00:51:54.791
Oh, my God. I do.
00:51:55.208 --> 00:51:57.000
I do. More than anything.
00:51:57.958 --> 00:51:59.500
He can never find out.
00:52:00.041 --> 00:52:01.208
It would kill him.
00:52:01.875 --> 00:52:03.208
Ladies and gentlemen,
00:52:03.291 --> 00:52:07.375
now we'll have the speech
of the maid of honor, Bryan.
00:52:10.333 --> 00:52:11.375
Where is Bryan?
00:52:17.625 --> 00:52:18.458
Bryan.
00:52:19.833 --> 00:52:22.375
Oh! Hey, hey. How you doing, man?
00:52:22.791 --> 00:52:23.666
Okay.
00:52:23.875 --> 00:52:24.833
Um...
00:52:25.333 --> 00:52:27.916
-They're calling to do your speech.
-Speech?
00:52:28.541 --> 00:52:30.791
The speech you have to do
for the wedding, remember?
00:52:30.875 --> 00:52:32.000
-What wedding?
-This one.
00:52:32.083 --> 00:52:34.375
The one we're at. Hayley's wedding.
You're maid of honor.
00:52:34.458 --> 00:52:36.375
-Man of honor, yeah.
-Yeah, right, right, right.
00:52:36.458 --> 00:52:39.750
-You wanted to impress Vitelli, remember?
-Oh, yeah, Vitelli.
00:52:42.708 --> 00:52:43.958
Where is he?
00:52:45.708 --> 00:52:46.750
Oh!
00:52:53.625 --> 00:52:54.833
Whoa, whoa, hey.
00:53:14.375 --> 00:53:15.208
Mm.
00:53:19.041 --> 00:53:21.458
Why are all these people
looking at me?
00:53:26.625 --> 00:53:27.458
Oh.
00:53:28.125 --> 00:53:30.083
This dream just gets weirder and weirder.
00:53:35.875 --> 00:53:37.250
Even Vitelli.
00:53:38.625 --> 00:53:40.083
The Italian film director.
00:53:41.458 --> 00:53:43.125
Yeah, he's good-looking, isn't he?
00:53:44.625 --> 00:53:45.750
I fancy him a bit, but...
00:53:47.250 --> 00:53:48.625
I'm not even gay, but...
00:53:50.041 --> 00:53:51.083
I'd do it anyway.
00:53:51.666 --> 00:53:52.541
Mm.
00:53:53.416 --> 00:53:55.750
I wish he'd give me a part
in one of his films, though.
00:53:57.000 --> 00:53:58.000
Just a part.
00:53:58.416 --> 00:53:59.541
Just a little part.
00:54:01.291 --> 00:54:02.208
I'd do it good.
00:54:02.791 --> 00:54:03.875
I'd do it good for you.
00:54:07.416 --> 00:54:09.458
Just give me a part, you bastard!
00:54:19.166 --> 00:54:20.000
That's cake.
00:54:23.125 --> 00:54:24.000
Dream cake.
00:54:26.958 --> 00:54:28.083
Bryan, Bryan...
00:54:37.833 --> 00:54:39.375
-I'll just...
-No!
00:54:39.458 --> 00:54:41.458
I'm just gonna take you
to the toilet, okay?
00:54:41.541 --> 00:54:43.916
An applause for the maid of honor.
00:54:48.375 --> 00:54:49.208
Yeah. Hm.
00:54:53.833 --> 00:54:54.916
Help!
00:54:55.541 --> 00:54:56.958
Help!
00:54:58.166 --> 00:54:59.500
Help!
00:55:01.125 --> 00:55:02.916
Help! Help! Help!
00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:05.291
Help! Help! Help!
00:55:05.666 --> 00:55:06.625
Anybody!
00:55:09.208 --> 00:55:10.708
Oh.
00:55:14.208 --> 00:55:15.041
Thanks.
00:55:15.916 --> 00:55:17.083
That beautiful cake.
00:55:20.291 --> 00:55:21.875
What? What's wrong?
00:55:22.541 --> 00:55:25.375
Oh, my God. I've got a crisis at work.
I have to leave.
00:55:25.916 --> 00:55:28.875
-We can take my car if you want.
-Oh, my God, that would be amazing.
00:55:28.958 --> 00:55:31.500
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah. Let's go.
00:55:32.000 --> 00:55:33.375
I'll see you out there.
00:55:40.916 --> 00:55:42.625
Hayley, hi. Scusi.
00:55:42.708 --> 00:55:44.000
I have to leave. I'm so sorry.
00:55:44.083 --> 00:55:45.250
-Oh, no!
-Something at my work.
00:55:45.333 --> 00:55:46.708
Oh, okay. Look, don't worry.
00:55:47.166 --> 00:55:49.000
Dina's leaving. Come on, go.
00:55:50.208 --> 00:55:51.208
-Okay.
-Oh, God!
00:55:51.291 --> 00:55:52.250
Um...
00:55:53.333 --> 00:55:55.333
Yeah, uh, sit down. Sit down, Bryan.
00:55:56.625 --> 00:55:57.791
Oh, my God.
00:55:59.500 --> 00:56:00.333
Okay.
00:56:00.750 --> 00:56:01.666
Bye, Bryan.
00:56:02.500 --> 00:56:03.458
Bye.
00:56:08.333 --> 00:56:09.333
Dina?
00:56:09.875 --> 00:56:11.958
Jack. Hi. I was looking for you.
00:56:12.041 --> 00:56:13.916
-You're not going, are you?
-I know. I'm so sorry.
00:56:14.000 --> 00:56:16.583
I was trying to say goodbye.
There's been this hurricane in Mexico.
00:56:16.666 --> 00:56:18.583
I gotta get back 'cause
my editor has food poisoning.
00:56:18.666 --> 00:56:20.333
It's a long story, but I'm so sorry.
00:56:20.416 --> 00:56:23.458
But maybe we can
get together another time or...
00:56:23.541 --> 00:56:26.916
Will you be in Mexico
or Guadalajara anytime soon?
00:56:27.000 --> 00:56:29.250
Look, I just have to say something. Um...
00:56:29.666 --> 00:56:30.583
Yeah.
00:56:31.125 --> 00:56:32.333
Listen. I--
00:56:32.416 --> 00:56:33.791
Ha! There he is!
00:56:33.875 --> 00:56:36.708
-So, you hate me, huh?
-What?
00:56:36.791 --> 00:56:39.041
-Chaz just told me you hate me.
-I didn't say "hate."
00:56:39.125 --> 00:56:40.166
Well, you did say, so...
00:56:40.250 --> 00:56:43.541
Okay, no, I did say "hate,"
00:56:43.625 --> 00:56:44.916
but then I changed it.
00:56:45.000 --> 00:56:46.083
Yeah, to "dislike."
00:56:46.166 --> 00:56:49.708
-Aww, that's so sweet of you, Jack.
-You don't like me either!
00:56:49.791 --> 00:56:53.291
Why do we have to pretend our relationship
was anything other than the misery it was?
00:56:57.375 --> 00:57:00.000
-Right?
-Okay. Yeah, okay.
00:57:00.125 --> 00:57:02.458
I guess you make a fair point.
00:57:03.250 --> 00:57:04.583
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
00:57:05.041 --> 00:57:06.208
Just one more thing.
00:57:06.291 --> 00:57:08.708
-What?
-Oh my God! Jack!
00:57:08.791 --> 00:57:10.625
You are a piece of shit!
00:57:10.708 --> 00:57:12.208
Jack, are you okay?
00:57:12.291 --> 00:57:13.541
Oh, my God. Jack, wait.
00:57:13.625 --> 00:57:15.083
Yes, I will marry you, Chaz.
00:57:15.166 --> 00:57:16.833
Yeah, I don't know if I...
00:57:17.125 --> 00:57:17.958
Um...
00:57:18.041 --> 00:57:19.083
Let me just--
00:57:19.583 --> 00:57:21.166
- Woo!
- My nose bleeds all the time!
00:57:28.625 --> 00:57:29.666
Hayley and I shagged!
00:57:30.666 --> 00:57:32.875
- What did he say?
- No!
00:57:32.958 --> 00:57:34.833
But what is he doing?
00:57:35.458 --> 00:57:37.958
Sorry, but it's true, Hayley and I shagged,
and we love each other.
00:57:38.041 --> 00:57:39.916
Hayley, come on. Tell them.
00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:41.458
Get the hell off the stage.
00:57:45.541 --> 00:57:47.750
Hayley! Hayley! Hayley!
00:57:48.875 --> 00:57:51.041
-No, you go. You go save the world.
-I'm so sorry.
00:57:51.333 --> 00:57:52.416
It always bleeds.
00:57:53.541 --> 00:57:54.416
It's fine.
00:57:55.166 --> 00:57:56.416
Go.
00:57:56.500 --> 00:57:57.666
-I'll text you.
-Yeah.
00:57:58.083 --> 00:57:59.500
Damn it.
00:57:59.583 --> 00:58:01.500
Go. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:58:01.750 --> 00:58:02.666
Pfft!
00:58:06.375 --> 00:58:08.208
Hayley!
00:58:08.291 --> 00:58:09.541
Hayley!
00:58:14.250 --> 00:58:15.166
Is it true?
00:58:25.541 --> 00:58:26.583
Listen...
00:58:26.666 --> 00:58:27.500
No...
00:58:35.416 --> 00:58:37.666
Come on, take a seat.
00:58:46.708 --> 00:58:47.833
Vitelli...
00:58:48.500 --> 00:58:49.458
Vitelli...
00:58:50.208 --> 00:58:51.333
Vitelli...
00:58:52.208 --> 00:58:53.833
Give us a part, you bastard.
00:59:02.916 --> 00:59:04.125
Oh, shit.
00:59:09.458 --> 00:59:10.750
Roberto, please.
00:59:11.291 --> 00:59:12.625
Please just talk to me.
00:59:14.208 --> 00:59:15.875
I can't believe it. How could you do it?
00:59:16.333 --> 00:59:18.541
-It's a fucking nightmare, Hayley.
-I know.
00:59:18.625 --> 00:59:21.375
It was such a mistake, and I'm so sorry,
and I love you more than--
00:59:21.458 --> 00:59:22.791
No, it's over.
00:59:22.875 --> 00:59:26.083
-Please, let me just explain it to you.
-No, no, no. I don't want to talk to you.
00:59:26.166 --> 00:59:28.166
Never. Never again. It's over.
00:59:28.625 --> 00:59:30.375
-This wedding is over!
-Roberto!
00:59:30.458 --> 00:59:31.541
Oh, my God!
00:59:37.250 --> 00:59:38.500
And there we go.
00:59:39.416 --> 00:59:42.541
One bit of bad luck
and it all goes tits up.
00:59:43.666 --> 00:59:45.750
But what if things had gone differently?
00:59:46.958 --> 00:59:50.000
Remember what I was saying
about the thousands of ways
00:59:50.083 --> 00:59:52.250
eight people can sit around a table?
01:00:51.125 --> 01:00:52.000
Cheers.
01:00:52.708 --> 01:00:53.625
Cheers.
01:00:54.125 --> 01:00:55.375
And then, finally,
01:00:55.791 --> 01:00:59.291
there's just one last hope
that it might all go right.
01:01:00.750 --> 01:01:02.041
Hey, uh, everyone.
01:01:11.958 --> 01:01:12.916
Oh, fuck.
01:01:15.166 --> 01:01:16.916
-What's the matter?
-Oh, fuck!
01:01:17.291 --> 01:01:18.125
Jack?
01:01:18.208 --> 01:01:20.833
Oh, shit!
01:01:21.291 --> 01:01:23.416
- Jack, what's--
-I'm not supposed to be here.
01:01:23.500 --> 01:01:24.750
What? Jack.
01:01:28.250 --> 01:01:29.375
Sorry, sorry...
01:01:29.458 --> 01:01:30.541
Sorry.
01:01:31.041 --> 01:01:31.875
Fuck!
01:01:32.750 --> 01:01:34.166
Excuse us. Scusi.
01:01:49.083 --> 01:01:50.791
What on earth are you doing?
01:01:50.875 --> 01:01:52.750
I've just taken a really strong sedative.
01:01:52.833 --> 01:01:55.708
That's a really weird thing
to do at your sister's wedding.
01:01:55.791 --> 01:01:57.958
Well, I didn't do it on purpose, you tit!
01:01:59.250 --> 01:02:00.791
Stop it, Jack. You're making me sick.
01:02:00.875 --> 01:02:03.416
Jesus! How do you make this
fingers-down-the-throat thing work?
01:02:03.500 --> 01:02:05.500
Oh, I can't-- I can't do it.
01:02:06.041 --> 01:02:08.625
Look, you have to help me.
Put your fingers down my throat.
01:02:09.458 --> 01:02:12.041
-What?
-I can't do it myself. I just--
01:02:12.125 --> 01:02:13.625
I need you to do it for me, all right?
01:02:13.708 --> 01:02:16.375
You've got those big, long, weird,
gangly fingers.
01:02:16.458 --> 01:02:18.291
They'll go further down my throat.
01:02:18.375 --> 01:02:21.166
I've got to go impress Vitelli.
I can't be getting involved in this.
01:02:21.250 --> 01:02:23.166
What's Dina gonna think
if I start falling asleep at the table?
01:02:23.250 --> 01:02:26.250
-She's gonna think I'm a total fuck-wit!
-Yeah.
01:02:26.333 --> 01:02:27.916
Please, Bryan, for me.
01:02:28.375 --> 01:02:30.791
-I don't want to.
-I really need you to do this for me.
01:02:30.875 --> 01:02:32.333
I really don't want to.
01:02:32.458 --> 01:02:33.916
Please, it's Hayley's wedding.
01:02:38.583 --> 01:02:40.583
-Okay, okay.
-Okay.
01:02:40.666 --> 01:02:42.791
But I want you to remember
what a good friend I am.
01:02:42.875 --> 01:02:44.583
Okay, yeah. Great friend.
01:02:44.666 --> 01:02:47.166
-Best friend.
-Best friend. You're my best friend.
01:02:52.333 --> 01:02:54.958
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. and Mrs. Carboni.
01:03:02.833 --> 01:03:05.125
How do you-- How do you want to--
01:03:05.208 --> 01:03:07.208
-No!
-Just give me your fucking fingers.
01:03:07.291 --> 01:03:08.916
-Okay, okay, okay!
-Just keep 'em straight.
01:03:09.000 --> 01:03:09.916
I am.
01:03:10.000 --> 01:03:12.291
No!
01:03:12.375 --> 01:03:14.208
No, no, no!
01:03:15.000 --> 01:03:17.458
Oh, God!
This is the worst moment of my life.
01:03:18.083 --> 01:03:19.000
Oh, no!
01:03:21.500 --> 01:03:23.125
Oh.
01:03:25.500 --> 01:03:26.625
Uh...
01:03:26.708 --> 01:03:28.541
Uh, sorry-- No, I was just--
01:03:28.625 --> 01:03:31.250
I just wanted to check to see
if you guys were good. You good?
01:03:31.750 --> 01:03:32.708
Good? Uh...
01:03:33.500 --> 01:03:35.583
Yeah, I can-- I'm gonna find--
I'm just gonna--
01:03:35.666 --> 01:03:37.500
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna find something...
01:04:04.708 --> 01:04:05.708
Um...
01:04:05.833 --> 01:04:06.916
Great. Thank you. Could I--
01:04:07.000 --> 01:04:08.666
Could I also grab, um...
01:04:09.291 --> 01:04:10.416
some coffees?
01:04:10.875 --> 01:04:12.166
- Thanks.
- I have no idea.
01:04:17.958 --> 01:04:19.458
Look, I'd wish you'd never...
01:04:19.541 --> 01:04:21.041
Can we just pretend that,
01:04:21.125 --> 01:04:23.166
you know, whatever you saw back there
never happened?
01:04:23.916 --> 01:04:25.541
It's a pretty enduring image.
01:04:25.625 --> 01:04:27.166
Kind of hard to forget.
01:04:28.166 --> 01:04:29.916
Right. Uh, no.
01:04:30.000 --> 01:04:31.583
There's-- There's a totally...
01:04:32.333 --> 01:04:34.291
totally reasonable explanation for that.
01:04:34.375 --> 01:04:35.333
It's a funny story.
01:04:35.625 --> 01:04:37.291
Really. Very funny.
01:04:38.041 --> 01:04:41.416
And I will tell you about it,
just not today.
01:04:41.750 --> 01:04:43.875
Could we just try to forget it?
01:04:48.125 --> 01:04:49.250
Yeah, I can try.
01:04:49.333 --> 01:04:50.500
-Good, good.
-Okay.
01:04:50.833 --> 01:04:52.333
That was-- It was weird. It was weird.
01:04:52.708 --> 01:04:54.208
Yeah. I know.
01:04:54.291 --> 01:04:55.833
-But...
-I'm sorry. So, come on.
01:04:55.916 --> 01:04:58.625
You were about to tell me...
01:04:59.416 --> 01:05:01.625
what you've been up to
since I last saw you.
01:05:01.708 --> 01:05:04.875
Okay, well, I guess the main thing
has been work. Uh...
01:05:04.958 --> 01:05:06.833
You know, it's taken everything.
01:05:07.291 --> 01:05:10.958
Honestly. I mean, I only really
stopped and looked up
01:05:11.041 --> 01:05:12.208
when my mom got sick.
01:05:16.458 --> 01:05:18.708
Is my mom's terminal cancer boring you?
01:05:18.791 --> 01:05:21.000
No. No, it's not.
01:05:22.083 --> 01:05:22.916
Carry on.
01:05:23.541 --> 01:05:24.583
-You sure?
-Yeah.
01:05:25.833 --> 01:05:26.666
Okay.
01:05:27.750 --> 01:05:28.583
Um...
01:05:32.583 --> 01:05:33.416
You know, I...
01:05:33.500 --> 01:05:37.875
I had-- I know told you how
she and I were really close, and, um...
01:05:38.083 --> 01:05:39.000
Hm.
01:05:39.416 --> 01:05:40.583
Well, you know, it just...
01:05:42.375 --> 01:05:44.458
You know, the whole thing was just
01:05:44.541 --> 01:05:47.083
a really huge punch to the gut, honestly.
01:05:49.541 --> 01:05:50.916
Uh...
01:05:54.416 --> 01:05:57.750
The truth is, I just can't get over
the randomness of it, you know?
01:05:59.916 --> 01:06:00.791
Like, why her?
01:06:02.708 --> 01:06:03.625
Yeah, why?
01:06:03.708 --> 01:06:04.750
You know, I don't, um...
01:06:05.791 --> 01:06:07.208
I don't normally...
01:06:08.125 --> 01:06:11.375
talk to people about this
because it just feels really weird, but...
01:06:11.458 --> 01:06:12.333
Mm-hmm?
01:06:14.083 --> 01:06:16.041
You know,
I'm really devastated by it.
01:06:19.291 --> 01:06:21.375
I don't really think I'm over it, and I...
01:06:24.125 --> 01:06:27.500
The truth is, I don't think I'll ever
really be over it, you know?
01:06:30.958 --> 01:06:32.666
Are you fucking kidding me?
01:06:44.916 --> 01:06:46.166
Sorry. One second.
01:06:46.250 --> 01:06:49.166
-Why are you awake?
-Why am I awake? Why wouldn't I be awake?
01:06:53.041 --> 01:06:53.916
Ah.
01:06:54.875 --> 01:06:55.916
Shots!
01:06:56.000 --> 01:06:57.791
- Shots?
- Shots, shots, shots, shots!
01:06:57.875 --> 01:06:59.833
-She's saying shots.
-Shots! Shots! Shots!
01:06:59.916 --> 01:07:01.125
Get this lady a shot.
01:07:03.041 --> 01:07:04.291
All right.
01:07:05.125 --> 01:07:06.916
-Maddie Richards.
-What?
01:07:07.000 --> 01:07:09.583
Maddie Richards never had any complaints
about me in the bedroom.
01:07:09.666 --> 01:07:12.625
She always said I was
a solid 7,5 out of 10.
01:07:13.125 --> 01:07:15.500
And most of the time,
I didn't even have a full erection,
01:07:15.583 --> 01:07:17.208
so imagine what you're getting.
01:07:20.791 --> 01:07:22.125
I'm so lucky, right?
01:07:22.583 --> 01:07:24.250
Well done. Well done.
01:07:24.333 --> 01:07:25.666
Yeah, well, you are lucky, and...
01:07:26.666 --> 01:07:27.791
you should feel lucky.
01:07:29.458 --> 01:07:31.250
Come on, come on, come on.
01:07:31.333 --> 01:07:33.375
Just go over and say hello for God's sake.
01:07:49.291 --> 01:07:50.458
Bryan, fuck off.
01:07:54.541 --> 01:07:55.375
Jack.
01:07:56.541 --> 01:07:57.916
Jack. Jack.
01:07:58.458 --> 01:07:59.291
Hm?
01:08:01.000 --> 01:08:01.833
Jack!
01:08:03.250 --> 01:08:04.791
Wassup?
01:08:05.250 --> 01:08:07.166
So, Chaz asked me to marry him.
01:08:13.791 --> 01:08:16.083
I said, Chaz asked me to marry him.
01:08:17.083 --> 01:08:18.083
Oh, congrats.
01:08:33.208 --> 01:08:34.125
Oh, fuck.
01:08:45.916 --> 01:08:48.083
Uh... what d'you want?
01:08:49.916 --> 01:08:50.875
Dude.
01:08:51.791 --> 01:08:53.625
Don't ruin my sister's wedding, all right?
01:08:53.708 --> 01:08:55.000
It's out of order.
01:08:55.333 --> 01:08:57.500
I'm not ruining anything.
01:08:59.666 --> 01:09:01.125
I'm saving her.
01:09:02.250 --> 01:09:04.791
Signore e signori,
ladies and gentlemen...
01:09:05.208 --> 01:09:06.208
No, Marc.
01:09:08.250 --> 01:09:12.083
We'll now have our first dance
with Hayley and Roberto.
01:09:34.708 --> 01:09:35.666
Jack.
01:09:36.750 --> 01:09:37.750
Jack.
01:09:39.291 --> 01:09:41.333
-Come on.
-Hey, Bryan.
01:09:41.416 --> 01:09:43.041
Get up, Jack.
01:09:46.291 --> 01:09:47.583
Oh, my God.
01:09:47.958 --> 01:09:49.458
Jack, come on.
01:09:55.833 --> 01:09:56.791
Jack.
01:09:58.375 --> 01:09:59.333
Jack.
01:10:01.125 --> 01:10:02.083
Jack!
01:10:02.375 --> 01:10:04.166
Ow! What are you doing?
01:10:04.250 --> 01:10:05.375
I'm trying to help you.
01:10:05.458 --> 01:10:07.125
By whacking me in the face?
01:10:07.208 --> 01:10:09.125
Fine. Go to sleep, then. I'm just--
01:10:09.208 --> 01:10:11.625
No, look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:10:11.708 --> 01:10:13.000
I know you're trying to help.
01:10:13.083 --> 01:10:14.666
I'm just really stressed.
01:10:14.750 --> 01:10:16.666
Hayley's in a really big mess.
01:10:16.750 --> 01:10:19.541
Look, you're always getting Hayley
out some mess or other.
01:10:19.625 --> 01:10:22.166
Well, yeah, she's my sister. She needs me.
01:10:24.833 --> 01:10:27.375
Also, I think Dina hates me.
01:10:27.875 --> 01:10:28.750
Why?
01:10:30.916 --> 01:10:34.166
I was falling asleep as she was telling me
about her mum dying.
01:10:34.500 --> 01:10:35.583
Oh, man.
01:10:36.416 --> 01:10:38.166
-Yeesh.
-Yeah.
01:10:39.666 --> 01:10:40.833
I'm such an arsehole.
01:10:40.916 --> 01:10:42.583
No, you're not an arsehole, Jack.
01:10:43.416 --> 01:10:44.375
-I am.
-You're not.
01:10:45.000 --> 01:10:47.000
I think you might be
the best person I know.
01:10:48.000 --> 01:10:50.416
But you can't keep putting
everybody else first.
01:10:51.333 --> 01:10:52.708
I'm worried about you, man.
01:10:55.916 --> 01:10:56.791
Yeah.
01:11:00.333 --> 01:11:01.666
I love you, man.
01:11:03.250 --> 01:11:05.916
-Yeah, all right.
-No, I mean-- No, no.
01:11:10.041 --> 01:11:11.416
I properly love you.
01:11:12.375 --> 01:11:14.000
More than just a mate, you know?
01:11:15.958 --> 01:11:17.583
Yeah... All right--
01:11:24.666 --> 01:11:26.250
Hey!
01:11:26.333 --> 01:11:27.291
You told Roberto yet?
01:11:27.375 --> 01:11:30.291
-I haven't. Piss off.
-I'll give you till the cake comes out.
01:11:38.333 --> 01:11:39.166
Oh, my God.
01:11:40.083 --> 01:11:41.833
Jack, come with me.
01:11:41.916 --> 01:11:43.708
-Come on.
-Oh, come on. I'm too tired.
01:11:43.791 --> 01:11:44.875
Up you get. Come on.
01:11:45.541 --> 01:11:47.500
You've taken the sleep drops,
haven't you?
01:11:47.583 --> 01:11:48.666
- Hmm?
- Jack!
01:11:50.416 --> 01:11:51.791
You total bell end.
01:11:51.875 --> 01:11:54.000
-Please wake up.
-I'm so awake.
01:11:54.083 --> 01:11:55.916
-Walking!
-I am walking.
01:11:57.500 --> 01:11:58.791
-Honestly.
-I am walking.
01:11:59.833 --> 01:12:03.750
- Where are you taking me?
- Just somewhere private.
01:12:04.791 --> 01:12:06.166
This is so private.
01:12:08.375 --> 01:12:10.000
Jack, please.
01:12:10.083 --> 01:12:12.666
-Ow! Why does everyone keep hitting me?
-I need you.
01:12:12.750 --> 01:12:13.583
Why?
01:12:13.666 --> 01:12:16.541
I mean, look, is this really
such a big deal?
01:12:16.625 --> 01:12:18.541
Like, can't we just relax and go to sleep?
01:12:18.875 --> 01:12:20.583
Marc is gonna tell Roberto...
01:12:21.500 --> 01:12:23.000
that I had sex with him.
01:12:23.541 --> 01:12:26.250
But, like, from when you were younger?
01:12:31.500 --> 01:12:33.541
-How recently?
-A few weeks ago.
01:12:33.625 --> 01:12:34.583
Oh, Jesus.
01:12:35.291 --> 01:12:37.333
And Roberto is gonna leave me!
And I deserve it!
01:12:37.416 --> 01:12:39.583
Because I fuck everything up!
01:12:39.666 --> 01:12:41.458
-No, you don't.
-Yes, I do! Yes!
01:12:41.541 --> 01:12:43.708
I'm a colossal loser!
01:12:43.791 --> 01:12:45.958
You are not a loser.
01:12:47.625 --> 01:12:48.458
All right?
01:12:49.041 --> 01:12:50.666
You are my sister.
01:12:52.750 --> 01:12:56.125
And you're the funniest, most brilliant,
most caring person in the world.
01:12:56.208 --> 01:13:00.583
And if it turns out that Roberto can't
forgive you for a really stupid mistake--
01:13:00.666 --> 01:13:03.125
-Oh, Jack!
-But-- No, listen, listen, listen.
01:13:03.208 --> 01:13:05.625
If he can't--
Look, if he can't forgive you...
01:13:08.750 --> 01:13:09.750
I'll still be here.
01:13:13.708 --> 01:13:15.000
I'll always be around.
01:13:17.541 --> 01:13:18.625
We can be losers together.
01:13:28.416 --> 01:13:29.250
Hey.
01:13:31.041 --> 01:13:33.166
I think you and I have the same problem.
01:13:34.000 --> 01:13:34.833
Do we?
01:13:34.916 --> 01:13:35.875
Mm-hmm.
01:13:36.500 --> 01:13:40.250
We're just afraid to let
a real relationship happen 'cause...
01:13:42.541 --> 01:13:45.000
we know how easy it is
to lose the ones we love.
01:13:57.750 --> 01:13:59.250
-Jack. Jack!
-I'm awake.
01:13:59.958 --> 01:14:02.416
-I'm awake, I'm awake, I'm awake.
-Please.
01:14:02.833 --> 01:14:04.458
-Please.
-I'm so here.
01:14:07.625 --> 01:14:08.541
Coffee?
01:14:09.125 --> 01:14:10.083
-Yeah.
-Okay.
01:14:11.958 --> 01:14:15.791
So, I arrived back at my desk
to find...
01:14:19.250 --> 01:14:20.708
They've smashed my laptop.
01:14:20.791 --> 01:14:21.750
Jim and Jeff?
01:14:21.833 --> 01:14:23.750
An old laptop. It's not my main laptop.
01:14:25.416 --> 01:14:27.166
Jim and Jeff sound like assholes.
01:14:28.541 --> 01:14:29.625
An old laptop.
01:14:30.333 --> 01:14:32.416
-Oh, my God, I have to tell you something.
-Mm-hmm?
01:14:32.500 --> 01:14:34.625
-They're not your friends. Cheers.
-Cheers.
01:14:38.083 --> 01:14:39.916
-You drink that?
-I am drinking this.
01:14:41.708 --> 01:14:43.125
Oh, God, I need bread.
01:15:01.541 --> 01:15:02.375
Hello!
01:15:03.416 --> 01:15:05.541
A vision in navy.
01:15:08.875 --> 01:15:10.041
-Rebecca?
-Yes?
01:15:10.750 --> 01:15:11.750
Why do you like me?
01:15:12.375 --> 01:15:13.291
I...
01:15:13.458 --> 01:15:17.250
I mean, I'm a totally self-obsessed,
neurotic mess.
01:15:18.250 --> 01:15:21.041
Yeah. Yeah. But I'm... I'm...
01:15:21.625 --> 01:15:24.583
I suppose I don't really mind
those-- those things about you.
01:15:25.583 --> 01:15:27.416
But don't you think I'm a bit of an idiot?
01:15:28.333 --> 01:15:29.458
Oh, yeah.
01:15:29.541 --> 01:15:30.375
Yeah.
01:15:30.458 --> 01:15:32.333
I mean, you're a massive idiot. Yeah.
01:15:33.000 --> 01:15:34.625
-Yeah.
-Well, yeah.
01:15:36.541 --> 01:15:38.666
But I suppose there's one or two people
01:15:38.750 --> 01:15:42.458
who would say that I am
a bit of a massive idiot.
01:15:44.250 --> 01:15:46.958
And so you being
a massive idiot is sort of
01:15:47.041 --> 01:15:50.625
what I actually like the best about you.
01:15:53.250 --> 01:15:56.458
I suppose what I'm saying is
that I just like you for being you.
01:15:58.708 --> 01:15:59.583
Oh, wow.
01:16:00.916 --> 01:16:01.750
That's...
01:16:02.166 --> 01:16:03.166
It's...
01:16:03.958 --> 01:16:07.000
I don't think anybody's ever
liked me for being me before.
01:16:07.083 --> 01:16:09.500
They usually like me
for who I pretend to be.
01:16:10.083 --> 01:16:11.083
Like, occasionally.
01:16:13.666 --> 01:16:14.500
Well...
01:16:16.166 --> 01:16:18.125
with me you don't have to pretend.
01:16:37.208 --> 01:16:38.041
Oh.
01:16:42.583 --> 01:16:43.500
Um...
01:16:44.208 --> 01:16:45.041
Thank you.
01:16:45.125 --> 01:16:46.333
No, thank you.
01:16:48.125 --> 01:16:50.041
-Sorry, that was-- I didn't know this--
-No.
01:16:50.125 --> 01:16:51.750
-No, I don't--
-I just, I--
01:16:51.833 --> 01:16:53.125
I-- I definitely didn't.
01:16:54.208 --> 01:16:55.375
'Cause it's, uh...
01:16:56.583 --> 01:16:57.833
I'm-- Would you mind if--
01:16:57.916 --> 01:16:59.541
-If we did just one more?
-That'd be good.
01:16:59.625 --> 01:17:00.833
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
01:17:13.666 --> 01:17:14.500
She's yours.
01:17:20.250 --> 01:17:21.375
-Marc!
-What do you want?
01:17:21.458 --> 01:17:24.166
-I just want to talk to you.
-Well, there's nothing to talk about.
01:17:24.250 --> 01:17:26.208
Marc, please, please, please, please.
01:17:26.291 --> 01:17:28.375
Just... Just-- Just listen.
01:17:28.458 --> 01:17:30.833
I know how you feel about Hayley.
01:17:31.750 --> 01:17:34.958
But maybe some things
just aren't meant to be.
01:17:35.041 --> 01:17:36.375
-Not this.
-Just...
01:17:38.333 --> 01:17:40.833
What I do know is that Hayley
deserves to be happy.
01:17:40.916 --> 01:17:41.750
Yeah.
01:17:44.083 --> 01:17:46.041
But she's happy with Roberto.
01:17:48.125 --> 01:17:49.166
If you...
01:17:50.333 --> 01:17:54.541
If you really, truly care about her,
please let her go.
01:18:10.791 --> 01:18:12.541
Okay. Okay.
01:18:25.458 --> 01:18:26.291
Jack.
01:18:26.375 --> 01:18:27.333
Jack.
01:18:27.416 --> 01:18:28.250
Sidney...
01:18:29.208 --> 01:18:32.416
-I'm really not on my best right now.
-You see, Jack, you're good with ladies,
01:18:32.500 --> 01:18:34.666
and I was wondering
if you had any pointers.
01:18:35.333 --> 01:18:41.458
Believe me, I'm not the best person
to ask for advice about anything.
01:18:41.541 --> 01:18:43.125
-Yes, you are, Jack.
-Not right now.
01:18:43.541 --> 01:18:46.250
Now, I know I'm not as sexy as...
01:18:47.125 --> 01:18:47.958
Brad Pitt.
01:18:53.625 --> 01:18:55.833
But now I'm starting to worry
that I might be...
01:18:57.166 --> 01:18:59.041
I'm probably overthinking it, but...
01:19:00.583 --> 01:19:01.666
Well, am I boring?
01:19:03.875 --> 01:19:04.708
Jack?
01:19:10.250 --> 01:19:11.083
Jack?
01:19:21.958 --> 01:19:24.208
-Sidney? Sidney, Sidney.
-Yes? Sorry, Jack.
01:19:24.875 --> 01:19:25.750
Go on.
01:19:26.458 --> 01:19:27.416
Look.
01:19:27.833 --> 01:19:31.208
-Try to listen more--
-Yes. Because you're good at that.
01:19:31.291 --> 01:19:32.333
-No.
-You're--
01:19:32.416 --> 01:19:33.375
Yes.
01:19:33.458 --> 01:19:35.333
-Try to--
-You let people have their say.
01:19:36.166 --> 01:19:37.583
-Sidney--
-You create a vibe.
01:19:37.666 --> 01:19:38.916
You create a vibe.
01:19:41.833 --> 01:19:44.958
Just listen more to people.
01:19:45.375 --> 01:19:47.458
And I know they're your friends,
all right, but...
01:19:49.250 --> 01:19:50.708
stop going on about Jim and Jeff.
01:19:53.250 --> 01:19:54.708
I don't know them that well.
01:19:58.416 --> 01:20:00.083
Then why do you go on about them?
01:20:01.416 --> 01:20:03.791
I suppose to make myself
sound more popular.
01:20:04.708 --> 01:20:05.708
It's not working.
01:20:07.750 --> 01:20:08.625
No.
01:20:11.875 --> 01:20:13.500
- No?
- No.
01:20:14.291 --> 01:20:16.000
-Definitely not?
-It's--
01:20:16.083 --> 01:20:17.583
Stop talking about Jim and Jeff.
01:20:18.083 --> 01:20:19.041
And for heaven's sake...
01:20:20.166 --> 01:20:21.000
listen.
01:20:22.333 --> 01:20:23.166
Good luck.
01:20:24.416 --> 01:20:25.541
-Onwards.
-Yeah.
01:20:43.916 --> 01:20:45.875
Signore e signori,
ladies and gentlemen,
01:20:45.958 --> 01:20:49.041
now we'll have the speech
of the maid of honor, Bryan.
01:20:50.333 --> 01:20:52.041
-Where are you going?
-Shit, that's me.
01:20:52.125 --> 01:20:53.166
That's you. That's you.
01:20:53.583 --> 01:20:54.416
Hey!
01:21:13.916 --> 01:21:14.791
Hello, everyone.
01:21:15.500 --> 01:21:16.416
Uh...
01:21:16.958 --> 01:21:19.125
Apologies for my lack of Italian.
01:21:19.250 --> 01:21:20.166
Um...
01:21:27.375 --> 01:21:28.208
Um...
01:21:31.333 --> 01:21:33.000
Love is a weird thing, isn't it?
01:21:34.333 --> 01:21:36.291
It's unpredictable sometimes...
01:21:37.625 --> 01:21:38.541
confusing.
01:21:40.583 --> 01:21:41.625
But I think...
01:21:42.416 --> 01:21:43.958
the most important thing...
01:21:46.166 --> 01:21:47.708
is that the person you're with...
01:21:48.750 --> 01:21:50.500
loves you for being you.
01:21:51.541 --> 01:21:52.583
You are enough.
01:21:53.541 --> 01:21:55.458
And you love them just for being them.
01:21:55.875 --> 01:21:57.958
And that's what Hayley and Roberto have.
01:22:01.958 --> 01:22:03.583
And that's what I have with Rebecca.
01:22:05.458 --> 01:22:06.291
Animal!
01:22:06.375 --> 01:22:08.125
I am-- I am so sorry. My God.
01:22:12.291 --> 01:22:14.708
I love you to bits, Hayles, and...
01:22:15.041 --> 01:22:18.416
I'm so glad you're happy.
01:22:19.500 --> 01:22:22.125
And I hope it lasts forever.
01:22:24.750 --> 01:22:25.916
Hayley and Roberto.
01:22:26.875 --> 01:22:28.875
Hayley and Roberto!
01:22:30.375 --> 01:22:31.208
Thank you.
01:22:42.375 --> 01:22:43.625
Was that okay?
01:22:43.708 --> 01:22:44.583
Mm.
01:22:44.958 --> 01:22:46.958
I thought it was brilliant.
You were very good.
01:22:48.166 --> 01:22:50.916
-Um, I'll just get another drink.
-Yeah, yeah.
01:23:19.750 --> 01:23:20.791
Hayley and I...
01:23:27.500 --> 01:23:28.541
Hayley and...
01:23:32.041 --> 01:23:32.875
Hayley...
01:23:34.000 --> 01:23:35.500
Hayley... uh...
01:23:38.708 --> 01:23:40.541
Hay... Hayley...
01:23:56.041 --> 01:23:56.958
Hayley...
01:23:57.750 --> 01:23:58.583
and...
01:24:00.208 --> 01:24:01.083
Roberto...
01:24:09.166 --> 01:24:10.000
I hope you'll...
01:24:11.583 --> 01:24:13.583
both be very happy together.
01:24:23.833 --> 01:24:24.791
Thank you.
01:24:27.791 --> 01:24:28.666
Chin-chin.
01:24:31.875 --> 01:24:33.333
I'll be-- I'll be right back, okay?
01:24:37.333 --> 01:24:38.166
Just--
01:24:38.250 --> 01:24:40.041
-I'm gonna go and talk to him.
-Okay, okay.
01:24:41.625 --> 01:24:42.875
-Here you go.
-Oh, thank you.
01:24:50.375 --> 01:24:51.208
Marc.
01:25:25.166 --> 01:25:26.125
All right?
01:25:26.958 --> 01:25:27.791
Hey.
01:25:27.875 --> 01:25:28.750
Um...
01:25:28.875 --> 01:25:29.833
I've been thinking.
01:25:31.416 --> 01:25:32.333
We...
01:25:33.208 --> 01:25:34.541
Maybe we shouldn't get married.
01:25:36.500 --> 01:25:38.291
'Cause, I mean...
01:25:38.375 --> 01:25:40.458
you're clearly not in love with me, and...
01:25:41.875 --> 01:25:44.000
that wouldn't really work, would it?
01:25:47.875 --> 01:25:48.708
Would it?
01:25:50.916 --> 01:25:54.375
Someone somewhere is going to be
so lucky to have you.
01:25:55.750 --> 01:25:56.750
Yeah.
01:25:57.833 --> 01:26:00.125
Especially with those awesome genitals.
01:26:00.625 --> 01:26:01.458
Ah...
01:26:02.041 --> 01:26:02.875
I knew it.
01:26:03.666 --> 01:26:06.708
It's-- But it's nice of you
to confirm it 'cause...
01:26:06.791 --> 01:26:09.583
...it's been
playing on my mind.
01:26:09.708 --> 01:26:11.833
So, yeah.
01:26:29.500 --> 01:26:32.000
No, here your watermelons
have way too many seeds.
01:26:32.083 --> 01:26:33.458
That's where you're wrong.
01:26:33.541 --> 01:26:34.458
You're wrong.
01:26:34.541 --> 01:26:36.250
Okay, in America, we don't do seeds.
01:26:36.333 --> 01:26:38.083
You know, we just make 'em
without the seeds.
01:26:38.166 --> 01:26:39.166
I don't even know how...
01:26:45.625 --> 01:26:46.500
-Hi.
-Hello.
01:26:47.333 --> 01:26:49.250
-My name is Cristina.
-Cristina?
01:26:49.333 --> 01:26:51.333
-Cristina, yeah.
-My name's Sidney.
01:26:51.541 --> 01:26:53.041
-Oh, Sidney.
-Hello.
01:26:53.666 --> 01:26:56.666
-Ah, so what do you do, Sidney?
-I'm in car insurance.
01:26:56.750 --> 01:26:57.666
Oh.
01:26:58.416 --> 01:26:59.916
Not as dry as it sounds.
01:27:00.625 --> 01:27:02.000
I work with a couple of, um...
01:27:04.750 --> 01:27:06.541
Tell me about yourself.
What do you do?
01:27:06.958 --> 01:27:08.458
-Myself?
-What do you do? Yeah.
01:27:09.500 --> 01:27:12.291
-I work in a post office.
-In the post office?
01:27:12.375 --> 01:27:14.583
-Yeah, in Rome.
-You're joking me. Wow. In Rome?
01:27:15.208 --> 01:27:17.041
-And I have one friend.
-Very exotic. Go on.
01:27:17.125 --> 01:27:19.458
-She works with me. Julia.
-Julia?
01:27:19.541 --> 01:27:20.625
-Julia.
-Keep talking.
01:27:20.708 --> 01:27:23.166
-Yeah, she's a very crazy woman.
-Mad lady.
01:27:23.250 --> 01:27:25.125
-Funny.
-Yeah, fantastic.
01:27:25.208 --> 01:27:27.125
- Yeah.
- She sounds incredible.
01:27:28.541 --> 01:27:29.375
Oh.
01:27:30.041 --> 01:27:32.208
-I love your kilt.
-Ooh, careful!
01:27:32.833 --> 01:27:34.750
Buy me dinner first.
01:27:35.333 --> 01:27:36.916
Are you here alone?
01:27:37.000 --> 01:27:38.958
I am here alone, yes.
01:27:40.333 --> 01:27:41.625
Are you here alone?
01:27:41.875 --> 01:27:43.500
Yes, I'm alone.
01:27:43.958 --> 01:27:44.916
Oh.
01:27:58.541 --> 01:27:59.625
What time is it?
01:28:00.666 --> 01:28:02.458
Um, I don't know. I don't know.
01:28:02.541 --> 01:28:04.166
I don't know, no.
01:28:05.708 --> 01:28:06.750
I don't know.
01:28:06.833 --> 01:28:08.833
- What, do you live in a box?
- Yeah.
01:28:09.333 --> 01:28:11.791
'Cause it's, like, seedless,
kind of thing.
01:28:13.166 --> 01:28:14.041
Shit.
01:28:14.500 --> 01:28:15.833
Oh, God, I have to go.
01:28:17.500 --> 01:28:19.166
Ciao. All right.
01:28:20.958 --> 01:28:21.791
Hayley!
01:28:21.958 --> 01:28:23.333
-Hi. Sorry.
-Hey, Dina.
01:28:24.000 --> 01:28:25.958
You look so beautiful.
I'm so happy for you.
01:28:26.291 --> 01:28:28.875
I'll call you 'cause I've just got to go
to some work thing.
01:28:28.958 --> 01:28:30.250
- Right now?
- Yeah, sorry.
01:28:30.333 --> 01:28:32.708
I love you, babe. Bye! Bye!
01:28:38.583 --> 01:28:39.458
Dina?
01:28:41.041 --> 01:28:42.666
Oh, look who's woken up.
01:28:45.583 --> 01:28:46.958
Uh, hi.
01:28:47.708 --> 01:28:50.791
Yeah, I am so sorry
about what happened earlier. I...
01:28:52.041 --> 01:28:55.416
Tonight didn't quite turn out
as I'd planned.
01:28:55.500 --> 01:28:56.625
Yeah? Well...
01:28:57.041 --> 01:28:58.708
what in life really turns out as planned?
01:28:59.583 --> 01:29:01.250
Yeah, I suppose.
01:29:01.791 --> 01:29:02.791
Um...
01:29:04.583 --> 01:29:06.000
-Shit.
-So you're going?
01:29:06.083 --> 01:29:07.166
Oh, yeah, I have to.
01:29:07.250 --> 01:29:10.791
I've had, like, 16 missed calls from work,
and I was just too drunk to notice.
01:29:13.416 --> 01:29:14.291
I, uh...
01:29:14.375 --> 01:29:15.333
Huh?
01:29:15.416 --> 01:29:16.833
I was, um...
01:29:17.125 --> 01:29:18.166
I was about to kiss you...
01:29:19.333 --> 01:29:20.166
that night.
01:29:20.625 --> 01:29:21.458
I...
01:29:22.375 --> 01:29:25.083
I just felt that there was something
special between us.
01:29:25.958 --> 01:29:28.125
And, um, I know this seems nuts
01:29:28.208 --> 01:29:31.500
'cause we'd only known each other
a couple of days, but I...
01:29:33.208 --> 01:29:36.041
I've never felt a connection
like that before.
01:29:38.166 --> 01:29:39.125
Or since.
01:29:41.250 --> 01:29:43.750
And I had a feeling you felt the same.
01:29:48.125 --> 01:29:49.083
So I just want to--
01:29:49.166 --> 01:29:51.000
I just need to know, uh...
01:29:51.916 --> 01:29:53.041
if I was imagining it.
01:29:59.375 --> 01:30:00.666
You weren't imagining it.
01:30:02.083 --> 01:30:03.875
I guess we just missed our moment.
01:30:05.375 --> 01:30:06.666
-God.
-Right.
01:30:08.250 --> 01:30:09.083
Right. Uh...
01:30:10.000 --> 01:30:10.833
I...
01:30:11.625 --> 01:30:12.458
Yeah.
01:30:28.333 --> 01:30:29.166
Right.
01:30:49.833 --> 01:30:51.000
Yeah. Thank you.
01:30:53.083 --> 01:30:53.916
Grazie.
01:30:54.875 --> 01:30:55.875
Hey.
01:30:55.958 --> 01:30:56.833
Hey.
01:30:57.541 --> 01:30:59.666
Oh, so you and Rebecca, eh?
01:30:59.750 --> 01:31:00.791
I mean, I don't...
01:31:01.458 --> 01:31:03.791
I just-- I don't know.
I don't know how that happened.
01:31:06.208 --> 01:31:07.541
Where's the American?
01:31:07.625 --> 01:31:08.750
Ah, she's gone.
01:31:10.791 --> 01:31:11.791
I'm sorry, man.
01:31:13.541 --> 01:31:15.500
Some things just aren't meant to work out.
01:31:15.583 --> 01:31:16.416
True.
01:31:16.791 --> 01:31:18.125
Like me and acting.
01:31:19.666 --> 01:31:20.666
-Really?
-Yeah.
01:31:21.583 --> 01:31:25.083
I've realized that I don't need to act.
I'm fine just being me.
01:31:27.291 --> 01:31:28.625
So that's it. Just...
01:31:28.708 --> 01:31:29.583
That's it.
01:31:30.625 --> 01:31:32.208
Done. No more.
01:31:32.875 --> 01:31:35.041
You've got to change
at some point, don't you?
01:31:35.458 --> 01:31:37.166
- You can't keep--
-Oh, you're here.
01:31:38.041 --> 01:31:39.125
-Hi.
-Hey.
01:31:40.208 --> 01:31:41.541
I was really moved by your speech.
01:31:42.000 --> 01:31:43.250
-Really?
-Yeah, really.
01:31:43.333 --> 01:31:44.583
Thank you very much.
01:31:45.000 --> 01:31:47.000
-You're Hayley's actor friend?
-Yes, I am.
01:31:47.458 --> 01:31:49.083
I'm doing my new film.
01:31:49.166 --> 01:31:50.416
Why don't you take my card
01:31:50.500 --> 01:31:52.916
and give my assistant a call tomorrow?
01:31:53.000 --> 01:31:54.208
-Yeah.
-We'll have a coffee.
01:31:54.291 --> 01:31:55.875
-Yeah, brilliant. I will.
-Okay.
01:31:55.958 --> 01:31:58.041
-I love coffee.
-See you. Bye. Yeah.
01:31:58.375 --> 01:32:00.041
Oh, my God!
01:32:00.125 --> 01:32:03.583
-That was incredible. What just happened?
-I don't know.
01:32:04.125 --> 01:32:06.666
I thought you were quitting acting.
01:32:06.750 --> 01:32:08.916
No, that's bullshit. I'm all about acting.
01:32:11.625 --> 01:32:13.333
At least one of us has had some luck.
01:32:13.958 --> 01:32:15.666
What are you talking about?
We're all lucky.
01:32:16.083 --> 01:32:17.166
Are we really?
01:32:20.041 --> 01:32:23.916
Have you ever thought
about how small the chances are
01:32:24.000 --> 01:32:25.166
that you would be born?
01:32:26.541 --> 01:32:28.708
If just one thing in history had changed,
01:32:29.458 --> 01:32:31.750
just one of your millions of ancestors
01:32:31.833 --> 01:32:34.583
hadn't crossed paths
at the exact moment they did,
01:32:35.416 --> 01:32:36.666
then you wouldn't exist.
01:32:39.250 --> 01:32:41.291
You'd never have even lived a single day.
01:32:43.333 --> 01:32:44.625
-Did you just make that up?
-No.
01:32:44.708 --> 01:32:47.625
It's a quote from one of Vitelli's films.
But it's true, though, right?
01:32:47.708 --> 01:32:48.541
Yeah.
01:32:49.291 --> 01:32:51.375
I mean, it's pretty scary,
01:32:52.041 --> 01:32:53.666
but if we're honest with ourselves,
01:32:53.750 --> 01:32:55.416
then it all comes down to chance.
01:32:56.041 --> 01:33:00.000
And I guess life is about grabbing
those chances when they come 'round.
01:33:51.958 --> 01:33:53.416
Can I call you right back?
01:33:53.500 --> 01:33:54.333
Thanks.
01:34:05.583 --> 01:34:06.416
Hi.
01:34:08.416 --> 01:34:09.250
Hi.
01:34:13.875 --> 01:34:15.250
Just going for run?
01:34:22.291 --> 01:34:23.291
Dina?
01:34:24.416 --> 01:34:25.583
-Hi.
-Oh, my God!
01:34:25.666 --> 01:34:27.541
-Do I know you?
-Do you remember we met at that--
01:34:27.625 --> 01:34:28.625
Fuck off.
01:34:30.958 --> 01:34:32.291
Seriously, fuck off.
01:34:36.375 --> 01:34:37.250
Yeah.
01:34:38.000 --> 01:34:38.916
Okay.
01:34:39.625 --> 01:34:40.666
Okay.
01:34:59.625 --> 01:35:00.750
Hey, everyone.
01:35:00.875 --> 01:35:03.208
Hang on. You're not supposed
to be sat there, are you?
01:35:03.333 --> 01:35:04.625
I think I am.
01:35:08.375 --> 01:35:11.416
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck was that about?
01:35:13.833 --> 01:35:15.375
He's the most amazing actor
you've ever seen.
01:35:15.458 --> 01:35:17.708
-I don't know about that.
-No, he is. He's brilliant.
01:35:18.250 --> 01:35:19.375
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
01:35:19.458 --> 01:35:20.666
And you'd be, uh...
01:35:20.750 --> 01:35:24.791
You'd be "amoron"
not to put him into one of your movies.
01:35:24.875 --> 01:35:26.708
-Like, an actual fucking moron.
-Calm it down.
01:35:26.791 --> 01:35:28.833
If he was any more obsessed with you,
he'd be a stalker.
01:35:28.916 --> 01:35:30.541
-I'm not a stalker.
-He's not a stalker.
01:35:30.625 --> 01:35:32.583
-I'm a watcher.
-But he's a bit like a crazy fan.
01:35:32.958 --> 01:35:35.458
Expect him in your shower
being like, "I wanna watch your films."
01:35:35.541 --> 01:35:36.791
-No!
-Thank you.
01:35:38.083 --> 01:35:40.041
I'm sorry, sir. Oh, my goodness!
01:35:40.125 --> 01:35:42.666
-It was an accident!
-There you go! Whoa!
01:35:42.750 --> 01:35:45.166
I thought it'd be cold on top of hot!
01:35:48.083 --> 01:35:50.125
I hope he didn't burn his penis.
01:35:58.666 --> 01:35:59.791
-Hello.
-Hi.
01:36:09.291 --> 01:36:10.166
Thanks!
01:36:13.875 --> 01:36:15.458
Nothing's coming up. It's just air.
01:36:15.541 --> 01:36:17.458
Bryan!
01:36:18.500 --> 01:36:19.416
Oh.
01:36:19.833 --> 01:36:21.875
There's a wolf licking a baby's arsehole!
01:36:22.916 --> 01:36:24.083
I don't like that.
01:36:27.458 --> 01:36:29.833
It's formed--
A rash is forming because of the kilt.
01:36:30.041 --> 01:36:31.750
Ah, here he is!
01:36:32.458 --> 01:36:33.541
You cock!
01:36:33.625 --> 01:36:35.166
-Get it out, then.
-Excuse me?
01:36:35.250 --> 01:36:37.666
Look, everyone!
Jack's about to get his dick out!
01:36:37.750 --> 01:36:38.791
Take off your--
01:36:42.791 --> 01:36:44.625
What are you doing?!
01:36:50.250 --> 01:36:52.541
These British folk are mad!
01:36:52.625 --> 01:36:55.083
♪ But in Rome do as the Romans do ♪
01:36:55.416 --> 01:36:57.208
♪ With you ♪
01:36:57.916 --> 01:37:00.500
♪ On an evening in Roma ♪
01:37:04.541 --> 01:37:07.708
♪ On an evening in Roma ♪
01:37:20.041 --> 01:37:27.041
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