WEBVTT

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..:: Presented by ZarFilm website ::..
‏.::  www.bolboljan.net ::.

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We need to speak on something.

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You didn't buy bread,
did you, Richmond?

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I think it is woeful
how we have abandoned

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the old, respectable mode
of yeast brewing.

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But it is not your place to think.

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- Not in my house.
- Our house.

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You're my wife.

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So in the eyes of the law,
the house is mine.

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Well, the law abides
by the will of the estate.

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A will my father
quite deliberately crafted.

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Now, I don't wish to play
these vulgar games of ownership with you.

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It vexes me. I'm now quite vexed.

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You don't think I'm vexed?

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Then why indulge
in these vexing matters?

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<i>So what really did happen
on that fateful day?</i>

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<i>Was it an accident?
Her husband claimed she tripped,</i>

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<i>but her friends say
she was anything but a klutz.</i>

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<i>Could alcohol have played
a role in her demise?</i>

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<i>Perhaps one too many
mint juleps for the lady.</i>

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<i>The answers to these questions
might lie with the housekeeper.</i>

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<i>Or they might be buried
six feet underground. Who can say?</i>

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Oh. What are you doing up so early?

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There's a <i>Masters of Murder</i>
marathon on.

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Did you finish all the bread?

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Mm, there was only one slice left.

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I wanted to make a sandwich.

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It's breakfast.
What do you want a sandwich for?

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For lunch. To take to work.

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- You know that thing that adults go to?
- I have a job, dick.

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Oh, that's right. You're a...
You're a drug dealer. I almost forgot.

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I'm not a drug dealer, okay?
I'm a drug deliverer.

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Huh. Big difference.

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There is a big difference.

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I don't do the deals.
I just deliver the product.

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Well, one day,
if you play your cards right,

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maybe you can become an actual dealer.

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Every kid's dream.

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You're an asshole.

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I love you too, honey.

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Have a great day. Enjoy your high!

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I will!

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- "Enjoy the high!"
<i>- She was out of control.</i>

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<i>That's what people
were saying about her after she died.</i>

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<i>That story that came out in the press
was not... It was not accurate.</i>

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<i>So what was the truth?
What was accurate?</i>

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<i>Will we ever know?
Stay tuned to find out.</i>

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Shit.

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<i>Next on</i> Masters of Murder...

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<i>♪ Don't think twice ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Although we'd never make it
Tonight I'm gonna fake it ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Only for tonight ♪</i>

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I have to get my roots done at 2:15.
Where the hell is that idiot?

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Honey. I don't know.

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So what's this all about?
Are you guys finally getting a divorce?

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Your father has something
he wants to tell you.

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Shortly, I shall be announcing
my candidacy for mayor of Savannah.

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- Cool. Good luck.
- Sit down.

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Son, I know how much you enjoy doing
absolutely nothing with your life

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and spending your allowance on
God-knows-what or God-knows-who.

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Are you accusing me
of fucking prostitutes?

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- Tanner!
- No, I'm sorry, Mom,

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but it's really insulting.

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I would never pay for sex.
Because I don't have to.

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Would you shut your mouth?
I was not talking about your sex life,

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- which I have no doubt is quite robust.
- Hell yeah.

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In regards to my campaign, there are
gonna have to be some changes made.

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I will no longer have the time,
nor quite frankly the energy,

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to oversee the day-to-day operations
of Wadsworth Manor.

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That responsibility
shall fall upon your shoulders.

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Why can't Mom do it?

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Your mother, bless her heart,
will be joining me on the campaign.

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Sorry to interrupt.
Can I get you folks anything?

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- No, thank you, Nia.
- Okay.

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Yeah, get me an iced pumpkin spice latte.

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I'm sorry, sir.
I don't think we have that.

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Really? That's weird.

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Well, then I guess
I'll just get a mango smoothie.

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But not too sweet.

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Bring him a water, Nia.

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- Of course, ma'am.
- Thank you, Nia.

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Hey, why doesn't she do it?

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- Who?
- The lady that works here.

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The one that won't make me a good drink.

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Nia is already staff manager.

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She has been for years.

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There needs to be someone in charge
of the entire operation.

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To oversee everything.

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I just don't think I have time
to take on another job.

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And what do you mean, "another job"?

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Me and Preston and Chaz
are working on developing an app.

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And what does this app do?

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It, like, gives you rides places.

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Oh, like Uber?

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Yeah, kinda. But with sicker cars.
And like super-hot drivers.

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Well, I'm afraid your app

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is going to have to be put on
the back burner for a little while.

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I think I'm gonna have to say no, Dad.

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Well, then I'm gonna have to say
since Wadsworth Manor is your inheritance,

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you will be on your own
financially from now on.

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This is horseshit!

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Nia will brief you on all the particulars.

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Oh, and, son, this property has been
in our family for over 180 years.

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Don't you be the one to fuck it up.
Darling.

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Hey. Um, it's me.

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Hey, come on in.
Make yourself at home.

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I'm making some sweet tea.

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Mm.

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Come on in.

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Hi.

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Hello.

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- That looks good.
- It is.

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- Is that, like, lemon?
- Rainbow.

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Rainbow. Cool.

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Since I'm a kid, I love lollipops.

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Um, hey, are your, like,

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parents or siblings here, by any chance?

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You wanna make sure I'm alone?

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Yeah.

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Wait, no. That sounds weird. I kinda...

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- Get on the ground!
- On your fucking knees!

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You're under arrest
for the solicitation of a minor.

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What?

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- Hands behind your back.
- Um, okay.

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- Okay. Okay.
- You have the right to remain silent.

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Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.

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- You have the right to an attorney.
- Wait...

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If you cannot afford an attorney,
one will be appointed for you.

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- Not to interrupt...
- With these rights in mind,

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do you still wish to discuss
the charges against you?

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Yes. I certainly do. Um...

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I'm so ticklish.
Is this 72 Jackson Street?

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No. It's 72 Jackson Avenue.

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Oh, my God.
See, this is so funny.

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Well, maybe it's not so funny, but it's...
That I can explain.

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Solicitation of a minor with the intent
to sell narcotics to said minor.

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No, no, no, no. Um, okay.

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Not to narc out my bosses,

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but I work for a company
called Lady Mary Jane.

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And I was supposed to deliver
that weed and, um, yeah,

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that bag of edibles to 72 Jackson Street.

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I'm not here for sex.

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And even if I was here for sex,

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I wouldn't want to do it with him.

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How old is he?
Is he like 12 or something?

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I'm 19.

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You're 19?

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That is just... Really?

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- I'm an actor.
- He doesn't even have pubes.

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I have all the pubes. Tons of pubes.

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- Like tons of pubes?
- Tons.

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That's not something to brag about,
by the way.

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Don't lick your lollipop right now.

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He's like sexually harassing me for real.

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Why don't you arrest this creep?

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- He's just doing his job, ma'am.
- What is wrong with you?

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Doesn't even have to be acting anymore.

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Oh!

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Todd! I'm so glad you're here.

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You don't know the difference
between street and avenue?

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I was a little stoned.

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- Shocking.
- Todd.

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I was arrested for soliciting sex
from a kid today.

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Please just be nice to me.

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For a change.

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Look, my uncle is friends with the DA.
I talked to him.

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- They're giving you a break.
- Oh, that's amazing!

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They're dropping all the drug charges.

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All you have to do
is register as a sex offender.

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Yeah, right.

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Do you know how lucky you are, Hannah?

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This could've been way worse.

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I sure hope you can
get your shit together,

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because this is...
this is really fucking pathetic.

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Wait. Are you breaking up with me?

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Well, I can't introduce my parents
to a sex offender.

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Well...

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I'm gonna go pack up your shit.

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Well, you know what? Good.

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I didn't want to meet them anyway.

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What kind of people name their kid "Todd"?

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Such a stupid name.

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They sound like assholes actually.

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I've been cheating on you.

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Huh? With who?

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With the mailman.

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- Betty?
- With the milkman.

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- We don't have a milkman.
- Ah, fuck.

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Bye, Hannah.

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Now, upon the night that General Sherman

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placed his prized hat
into my grateful hands,

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little did I know our home
would forever become an integral part

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of Savannah's rich and turbulent history.

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Thank you. Thank you.

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I would now be more than happy
to answer any queries

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you may have regarding our beloved manor.

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Yeah. Did General Sherman place
anything else into your grateful hands?

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No, sir, he did not.

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Thank you kindly.

00:11:24.560 --> 00:11:26.604
Thank you. Have a good day.

00:11:26.687 --> 00:11:29.398
Thank you so much.
Bye-bye. Thank you.

00:11:29.481 --> 00:11:31.901
Very impressive, milady.

00:11:31.984 --> 00:11:34.278
Thank you, Mr. Wadsworth.

00:11:34.361 --> 00:11:37.740
Please, "Mr. Wadsworth"
is so stuffy and formal.

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- You can call me Tanner.
- Oh.

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Wadsworth.

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And...

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- Thank you.
- You earned it.

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You sounded exactly like you were
an old colonial lady or whatever.

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It was really hot.

00:11:51.921 --> 00:11:53.505
Thank you, sir.

00:11:53.589 --> 00:11:55.466
Let's have dinner tonight. My treat.

00:11:55.549 --> 00:11:57.509
Oh, uh, thank you, but...

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Fine, we'll split the bill.

00:11:59.428 --> 00:12:02.348
I am actually having dinner
with my boyfriend tonight.

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Cancel it.

00:12:04.225 --> 00:12:06.644
I'm sorry, Mr. Wadsworth.

00:12:07.436 --> 00:12:09.396
Hmm, I'm sorry too.

00:12:09.480 --> 00:12:12.316
- We're gonna have to let you go.
- What?

00:12:12.399 --> 00:12:16.445
Now please leaveth the premises-eths.

00:12:19.490 --> 00:12:22.534
Then what'd she say?

00:12:22.618 --> 00:12:25.704
Nothing. She was just literally like,
"Fuck you."

00:12:25.788 --> 00:12:27.248
- But she didn't say it.
- Oh, yeah.

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- What a slut!
- Total slut!

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"I have a boyfriend who I love."

00:12:33.587 --> 00:12:35.464
Oh, my God. It's my fiancée.

00:12:35.547 --> 00:12:36.966
Sorry. Gotta blaze.

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Hey, baby.
I've been thinking about you too.

00:12:40.052 --> 00:12:45.516
Now I have to register as a sex offender,
which probably isn't going to be easy.

00:12:45.599 --> 00:12:51.313
Like if registering your car
at the DMZ or whatever is such a bitch,

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can you imagine how much more
of a bitch it's gonna be

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to register as a sex offender?

00:12:57.361 --> 00:12:59.822
You know, I hope it's harder.

00:12:59.905 --> 00:13:04.201
If it is easier to register
as a sex offender...

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You know,
I think I could be a stand-up comedian.

00:13:08.455 --> 00:13:11.667
"What's the deal with
registering as a sex offender?"

00:13:11.750 --> 00:13:14.086
I don't know. Why don't you tell me?

00:13:16.797 --> 00:13:22.970
Uh, I don't actually know
'cause I'm not, like, a real sex offender.

00:13:23.053 --> 00:13:27.308
I was set up by this,
like, adult kid actor.

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This fruity little youthful narc.

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- Ugh.
- I see.

00:13:32.229 --> 00:13:34.189
Don't take this the wrong way,

00:13:35.691 --> 00:13:37.669
but you're really, really handsome.

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If that fake kid today
had looked like you?

00:13:40.404 --> 00:13:43.407
Ooh, boy, like, throw the book at me.

00:13:43.490 --> 00:13:44.742
Ooh!

00:13:44.825 --> 00:13:46.577
Can I ask what you do?

00:13:46.660 --> 00:13:49.496
Um, I used to be in
the pharmaceutical business

00:13:49.580 --> 00:13:53.751
and now I am self-unemployed.

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Hmm.

00:13:57.129 --> 00:13:58.339
You just passing through?

00:13:58.422 --> 00:14:00.424
No, I live in Savannah.

00:14:00.507 --> 00:14:02.092
- Oh, where?
- Where?

00:14:04.595 --> 00:14:10.351
What, are you, like, a person who, like,
asks a lot of questions?

00:14:10.434 --> 00:14:12.895
I'm a person who would
like to offer you a job.

00:14:16.148 --> 00:14:18.067
- Fuck off.
- I'm serious.

00:14:18.150 --> 00:14:21.320
Do you have any acting experience,
by any chance?

00:14:23.113 --> 00:14:26.408
Um, yes, by some chance, I do.

00:14:26.492 --> 00:14:28.577
I know. It's crazy.

00:14:28.660 --> 00:14:31.955
I was in an acting play,
<i>Drugs Are For Slugs.</i>

00:14:32.039 --> 00:14:33.916
You've probably heard of it.

00:14:33.999 --> 00:14:35.626
I played the main slug.

00:14:35.709 --> 00:14:37.753
It was part of this, like,
after-school program

00:14:37.836 --> 00:14:41.298
for kids whose parents thought
they might end up doing drugs.

00:14:41.382 --> 00:14:46.220
So pretty good casting, if you ask me.

00:14:46.303 --> 00:14:47.971
I knew you'd be perfect.

00:14:49.348 --> 00:14:50.557
There's only one thing.

00:14:50.641 --> 00:14:53.977
You'll have to live at Wadsworth Manor.

00:14:55.813 --> 00:14:56.855
Okay.

00:15:03.278 --> 00:15:04.631
So pretty much you'll be in charge

00:15:04.655 --> 00:15:07.157
of maintaining the interior
of Wadsworth Manor.

00:15:07.241 --> 00:15:09.326
Laundry, light cleaning,
things of that nature.

00:15:09.410 --> 00:15:10.450
If you have any questions,

00:15:10.494 --> 00:15:12.680
you can direct them towards myself
or my brother, Marcus.

00:15:12.704 --> 00:15:15.416
And of course you'll be
in charge of leading the tours,

00:15:15.499 --> 00:15:17.960
which start promptly at 9:30 every day.

00:15:18.043 --> 00:15:20.963
Hey, sorry to interrupt.
Nia, have you seen my toolbox?

00:15:21.046 --> 00:15:23.048
I think I saw it in the garage.
Check there.

00:15:23.132 --> 00:15:25.634
Oh. Okay. Thanks.

00:15:25.717 --> 00:15:28.929
Who is that sexy hunk of man meat?

00:15:30.180 --> 00:15:32.182
That's Marcus. My brother.

00:15:32.266 --> 00:15:34.852
Oh. Cool. Cool.

00:15:34.935 --> 00:15:37.020
He seems smart. Oh, what's this?

00:15:37.104 --> 00:15:40.149
This is a pretty dress.

00:15:40.232 --> 00:15:41.984
Wow! Who makes this?

00:15:42.067 --> 00:15:46.613
Yep. It is a JZP. I knew it.

00:15:46.697 --> 00:15:51.368
This actually belonged to Lady Wadsworth's
best friend in the entire world,

00:15:51.452 --> 00:15:54.663
<i>who just so happened to be
my great-great-great grandmother,</i>

00:15:54.746 --> 00:15:56.415
<i>Josephine Zelda Pipkin.</i>

00:15:56.498 --> 00:15:59.293
<i>She sewed that into all her possessions,
few as they were.</i>

00:15:59.376 --> 00:16:02.921
Zelda, huh?
This is probably a dumb question,

00:16:03.005 --> 00:16:05.966
but she wasn't, by any chance,

00:16:06.049 --> 00:16:11.388
named after the actual
Legend of Zelda, was she?

00:16:11.472 --> 00:16:12.723
Moving on.

00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:20.898
This right here is the most
prized possession of our Wadsworth Manor.

00:16:20.981 --> 00:16:25.027
Oh, sorry. This is my most
prized possession, too, so...

00:16:25.110 --> 00:16:28.572
When General William Tecumseh Sherman
stayed here during the Civil War,

00:16:28.655 --> 00:16:31.074
<i>he was so charmed by Lady Wadsworth,</i>

00:16:31.158 --> 00:16:33.785
<i>by her hospitality,
graciousness and class,</i>

00:16:33.869 --> 00:16:35.913
<i>he gave her his hat as a gift.</i>

00:16:35.996 --> 00:16:38.123
<i>Oh, shit.</i>

00:16:38.207 --> 00:16:42.503
Lady Wadsworth, that's the role
I'm getting my hands on, right?

00:16:42.586 --> 00:16:43.795
That's right.

00:16:43.879 --> 00:16:45.506
And she was classy.

00:16:45.589 --> 00:16:47.674
The absolute classiest.

00:16:47.758 --> 00:16:51.094
Okay. I will make sure to do her justice.

00:16:53.347 --> 00:16:54.431
Sorry.

00:16:54.515 --> 00:16:57.184
I did have a few beers tonight.

00:16:57.267 --> 00:16:58.894
Let me show you where you'll be staying.

00:16:58.977 --> 00:17:00.312
- Okay.
- Okay.

00:17:06.527 --> 00:17:08.987
Here we are. The lady's bedroom.

00:17:09.071 --> 00:17:10.405
Oh, my God!

00:17:10.489 --> 00:17:12.241
Remember, this will be part of the tour,

00:17:12.324 --> 00:17:15.160
so it's imperative that you
keep it as the lady kept it.

00:17:15.244 --> 00:17:16.912
Immaculate.

00:17:16.995 --> 00:17:18.705
Wow, this is amazing!

00:17:21.917 --> 00:17:24.336
- Shoes?
- Um...

00:17:24.419 --> 00:17:27.047
I don't know, I think they're Skechers.

00:17:27.130 --> 00:17:29.049
Oh! You mean...

00:17:30.759 --> 00:17:31.760
Excuse me.

00:17:31.843 --> 00:17:33.929
Is there anything else I can get for you?

00:17:34.012 --> 00:17:37.182
Uh, no. I think I'm good.
Thank you so much.

00:17:37.266 --> 00:17:40.185
Make sure you're well versed
on the history of the manor by tomorrow.

00:17:40.269 --> 00:17:43.313
There's a packet with all relevant
information on the side table next to you.

00:17:43.397 --> 00:17:44.773
Oh, yep.

00:17:44.856 --> 00:17:46.858
- Good night, Hannah.
- Okay. Good night.

00:17:51.530 --> 00:17:52.781
What?

00:17:52.864 --> 00:17:58.537
"Wadsworth Manor,
founded in 1840 by Jennings F. Daubmire,

00:17:58.620 --> 00:18:02.457
is one of the oldest
and most treasured historical homes..."

00:18:02.541 --> 00:18:04.084
Ugh!

00:18:33.864 --> 00:18:34.865
Fuck.

00:19:13.862 --> 00:19:18.700
Hear ye, hear ye.
My name is Lady Wadsworth,

00:19:18.784 --> 00:19:22.496
but you can call me Nancy.

00:19:22.579 --> 00:19:29.461
I built this house with my own two hands
in the summer of 1855.

00:19:29.544 --> 00:19:31.922
Uh, I know what you're all thinking.

00:19:32.005 --> 00:19:34.341
Wow, that makes you super old!

00:19:34.424 --> 00:19:36.385
Uh, let me tell you my secret.

00:19:37.135 --> 00:19:40.305
SPF 50.

00:19:40.389 --> 00:19:45.310
And this is, uh, ye olde living room,

00:19:45.394 --> 00:19:49.648
where they used to host parties and shit...
and digs.

00:19:49.731 --> 00:19:50.732
Shindigs.

00:19:52.275 --> 00:19:56.113
Yes. A question.
A little early for a question, but okay.

00:19:56.196 --> 00:19:59.574
Oh, sorry. I just... really quick.
Um, what are you talking about?

00:20:00.575 --> 00:20:01.910
I'm sorry, what?

00:20:01.993 --> 00:20:05.914
Well, first of all,
your name is Elizabeth, not Nancy.

00:20:05.997 --> 00:20:09.251
Uh, this house was built in 1840,
and not 1855.

00:20:09.334 --> 00:20:12.254
It's literally right on
the cover of the pamphlet.

00:20:12.337 --> 00:20:15.507
And, um, this is definitely not called
"ye olde living room"

00:20:15.590 --> 00:20:19.553
because, well, that's-that's ridiculous.

00:20:19.636 --> 00:20:21.221
So what-what are you talking about?

00:20:23.473 --> 00:20:27.811
Uh, if you'll excuse me
just for one minute. Please.

00:20:27.894 --> 00:20:29.187
- Sorry. Uh...
- Please.

00:20:29.271 --> 00:20:30.897
- Okay.
- Please.

00:20:30.981 --> 00:20:33.024
What the fuck is your problem?

00:20:33.108 --> 00:20:35.026
- What's my problem?
- Yeah.

00:20:35.110 --> 00:20:37.904
Oh, I'm sorry I was hoping for
some facts on this tour.

00:20:37.988 --> 00:20:39.489
I am giving you facts.

00:20:39.573 --> 00:20:41.908
- No, you're not.
- Fact after fact.

00:20:41.992 --> 00:20:43.869
Not real facts. Not actual facts.

00:20:43.952 --> 00:20:46.246
Well, what makes you
so qualified to say that?

00:20:46.329 --> 00:20:49.916
- A PhD in American History from Harvard.
- Oh.

00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:52.836
Yeah. What is going on?
Do you even work here?

00:20:52.919 --> 00:20:57.632
Look, I'm just trying not to get fired,
okay? It's my first day.

00:20:57.716 --> 00:21:01.178
I'm sorry.
Just, I really need this job. Please?

00:21:03.930 --> 00:21:06.224
I'm here with some students
from my seminar.

00:21:06.308 --> 00:21:09.728
It's a little weird.
I was hoping they would learn something.

00:21:10.729 --> 00:21:12.397
Ah, screw it.

00:21:12.481 --> 00:21:13.940
I'll catch 'em up later.

00:21:14.024 --> 00:21:15.817
Ugh, thank you. You're so sweet.

00:21:15.901 --> 00:21:16.902
- Sure.
- Thank you.

00:21:16.985 --> 00:21:19.780
Listen, if you ever want
any actual facts...

00:21:19.863 --> 00:21:21.865
- Oh.
- Let me know.

00:21:21.948 --> 00:21:25.160
Thank you.
Just gonna tuck it right in here.

00:21:25.243 --> 00:21:27.162
Okay. Yeah. No pockets.

00:21:27.245 --> 00:21:28.580
- Thank you.
- Sure.

00:21:32.209 --> 00:21:35.003
Now where were we
before we were interrupted?

00:21:35.086 --> 00:21:37.839
Oh, right,
I was gonna show you ye olde den,

00:21:37.923 --> 00:21:39.758
where they used to watch...

00:21:41.092 --> 00:21:42.427
probably plays. Come on.

00:21:42.511 --> 00:21:43.804
Right this way.

00:21:46.097 --> 00:21:51.895
So, as Lady Wadsworth, um,
as I always used to say,

00:21:51.978 --> 00:21:56.107
"Ye don't have to go home,
but ye can't stay here." Thank you.

00:22:00.028 --> 00:22:01.738
Bravo!

00:22:01.822 --> 00:22:02.948
Oh, my God.

00:22:03.031 --> 00:22:05.742
- You were fantastic.
- Was I?

00:22:05.826 --> 00:22:08.703
I couldn't tell the difference
between you and Lady Wadsworth.

00:22:08.787 --> 00:22:10.831
Oh, my God.
That is so nice of you.

00:22:10.914 --> 00:22:13.542
- Well, I'm a nice guy.
- Yeah.

00:22:13.625 --> 00:22:15.585
Let's celebrate tonight.
What do you say?

00:22:17.337 --> 00:22:19.005
Okay. Sure.

00:22:19.089 --> 00:22:20.465
That's the right answer.

00:22:24.261 --> 00:22:26.805
Sorry to bother you, but...

00:22:26.888 --> 00:22:30.559
Don't worry.
I'll clean it up before the next tour.

00:22:30.642 --> 00:22:35.564
I'm trying to figure out what to wear.
I got a hot date with our hunky boss.

00:22:35.647 --> 00:22:38.567
- Lucky you.
- What do you think about this?

00:22:38.650 --> 00:22:40.402
You think Tanner will like this?

00:22:40.485 --> 00:22:43.738
I really think the best thing
is to just be a lady.

00:22:43.822 --> 00:22:48.243
That way you can better serve the role
of "the lady." You feel me?

00:22:48.326 --> 00:22:52.205
Oh, mm-hmm.
Tanner's into classy ladies.

00:22:52.289 --> 00:22:54.499
- Well...
- I got you. I can do this.

00:22:54.583 --> 00:22:57.502
My ex-roommate used to watch
<i>Downtown Abbey</i> all the time, so...

00:22:57.586 --> 00:22:59.880
I guess that's a good start.

00:23:01.339 --> 00:23:03.008
- Hey, Nia?
- Yes?

00:23:03.091 --> 00:23:05.302
- Thank you.
- Don't worry.

00:23:05.385 --> 00:23:06.678
You're gonna do just fine here.

00:23:17.397 --> 00:23:19.774
Mm. I like that dress.

00:23:21.443 --> 00:23:22.736
Classy.

00:23:22.819 --> 00:23:24.279
Thank you, Nia.

00:23:24.362 --> 00:23:25.864
- Huh?
- What?

00:23:25.947 --> 00:23:27.782
My name is Tanner.

00:23:28.950 --> 00:23:30.952
- Yeah.
- Hi. I'm Addison,

00:23:31.036 --> 00:23:32.680
and I'll be your waitress for the evening.

00:23:32.704 --> 00:23:34.205
Can I start you off with some drinks?

00:23:35.248 --> 00:23:39.336
Uh, yes, indeed. I think I shall.

00:23:39.419 --> 00:23:42.923
- Something classy, of course.
- Would you like to look at our wine list?

00:23:43.006 --> 00:23:45.008
Do you think I don't know my wines?

00:23:45.091 --> 00:23:46.593
No. Not at all. I was just...

00:23:46.676 --> 00:23:50.180
I'll peruse the list just to make sure
the ones you got on it

00:23:50.263 --> 00:23:51.806
are classy enough for me.

00:23:51.890 --> 00:23:53.767
Very good.
And for the gentleman?

00:23:54.893 --> 00:23:57.479
Yeah, gimme a shot of Patrón
and a vod sodes.

00:23:57.562 --> 00:24:00.732
- Huh?
- A vodka soda.

00:24:03.485 --> 00:24:06.029
- Yeesh.
- Yeah.

00:24:06.112 --> 00:24:10.367
They have got the most sick
tasting fish here.

00:24:11.117 --> 00:24:12.285
Ham cubes are fire.

00:24:12.369 --> 00:24:13.912
Oh, they have ham cubes? Where?

00:24:13.995 --> 00:24:16.081
- Yeah, you can't go wrong.
- No.

00:24:17.290 --> 00:24:23.004
I still can't believe you just, like,
swooped into the bar and you were like,

00:24:23.088 --> 00:24:27.509
"Hi, I'm hot, you want a job
and a sick place to live?"

00:24:29.469 --> 00:24:33.223
I know this isn't a classy thing to admit,

00:24:33.306 --> 00:24:37.852
but I wasn't really on my way
to join the circus like I said.

00:24:37.936 --> 00:24:39.896
I had no real plan.

00:24:40.814 --> 00:24:42.941
- Hmm.
- Yeah.

00:24:43.024 --> 00:24:48.029
Well, maybe there's some way
you can repay the favor.

00:24:48.113 --> 00:24:53.118
Oh, my God.
You're like a knight in shiny armor.

00:24:53.201 --> 00:24:54.953
But hotter.

00:24:55.036 --> 00:24:58.665
Well, you're pretty great too.

00:25:00.500 --> 00:25:02.585
- Do you mean it?
- I do.

00:25:02.669 --> 00:25:05.714
Oh. That's so beautiful.

00:25:05.797 --> 00:25:08.717
I mean, honestly, you're like a poet.
But hotter.

00:25:10.802 --> 00:25:13.847
I can't believe I get to live
in your family's mansion.

00:25:15.098 --> 00:25:16.891
Yeah, it's a pretty nice house, I guess.

00:25:16.975 --> 00:25:20.437
"Nice house."

00:25:20.520 --> 00:25:23.982
Yeah, and the Taj Mahal
is just a "nice hall."

00:25:25.358 --> 00:25:29.195
So what was it like growing up
in that "nice house"?

00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:30.989
I didn't live in that house.

00:25:31.072 --> 00:25:34.951
It's more like a dusty old family museum.

00:25:35.035 --> 00:25:37.662
But I get to sell it when my parents die,
so that's cool.

00:25:38.496 --> 00:25:40.457
Wow. That's awesome.

00:25:40.540 --> 00:25:43.835
What do you say we head back there
and, uh, dust the bed,

00:25:43.918 --> 00:25:45.170
if you know what I mean?

00:25:47.547 --> 00:25:49.924
I'm pretty sure I do.

00:25:50.008 --> 00:25:52.010
You're talking about sex, right?

00:25:52.093 --> 00:25:53.428
Bingo.

00:25:53.511 --> 00:25:55.031
Can I get you anything else?

00:25:55.096 --> 00:25:56.681
Some coffee perhaps, ma'am?

00:25:56.765 --> 00:25:58.308
- Why would I want coffee?
- No.

00:26:00.310 --> 00:26:03.354
- Hey, uh, Adderall.
- It's Addison.

00:26:03.438 --> 00:26:05.231
I just wanted to let you know
that I finished

00:26:05.315 --> 00:26:09.486
the entire bottle of the strun...
jun... junior.

00:26:09.569 --> 00:26:11.279
So now who doesn't know their wines?

00:26:11.362 --> 00:26:15.075
- Ha-ha.
- Congratulations.

00:26:15.158 --> 00:26:16.284
Thank you.

00:26:16.367 --> 00:26:18.661
I outclassed the fuck outta her.

00:26:25.376 --> 00:26:28.463
You're such a good drunk driver.

00:26:28.546 --> 00:26:29.881
Thanks, I know.

00:26:36.679 --> 00:26:40.934
Whoa. You kiss like a horse.

00:26:46.189 --> 00:26:47.315
Oh, yeah!

00:26:49.526 --> 00:26:50.777
Let's do this.

00:26:51.611 --> 00:26:54.114
Wait. Okay.

00:26:55.031 --> 00:26:56.699
Oh, my God.

00:26:58.326 --> 00:27:01.538
Oh, my God, you're so hot. Okay.

00:27:01.621 --> 00:27:06.793
I'm just, um... I'm gonna go freshen up.

00:27:06.876 --> 00:27:09.712
So just, real quick.

00:27:11.548 --> 00:27:12.841
Wanna smoke?

00:27:27.856 --> 00:27:29.524
Condoms, condoms.

00:27:34.279 --> 00:27:37.073
Thank you, Jesus. I'll be right out!

00:27:37.157 --> 00:27:38.950
Oh, you're great.

00:27:41.870 --> 00:27:44.914
Eat your heart out, Todd. Dickhead.

00:27:53.047 --> 00:27:56.843
Hi. You look comfortable.

00:27:56.926 --> 00:27:59.637
Are you having a little nap?

00:27:59.721 --> 00:28:02.182
Oh, my God, that's so cute.

00:28:06.728 --> 00:28:12.775
Maybe little Tan-Tan
needs a little wake-up call. Hmm?

00:28:12.859 --> 00:28:15.445
Is that a yes? Okay.

00:28:16.279 --> 00:28:17.363
Great.

00:28:20.200 --> 00:28:23.995
I just wanna make sure
that this is consexual.

00:28:24.078 --> 00:28:26.706
Sounds good to me.

00:28:27.624 --> 00:28:28.791
Okay.

00:28:28.875 --> 00:28:30.501
No!

00:28:30.585 --> 00:28:32.128
What the fuck?

00:28:33.463 --> 00:28:35.590
Oh, my God! Who are you?

00:28:35.673 --> 00:28:39.302
No, poor depraved wench,
the question is who are you?

00:28:39.385 --> 00:28:42.931
I am the lady who lives in this room.

00:28:43.014 --> 00:28:45.975
And that is my cock
that you are blocking me from.

00:28:46.059 --> 00:28:48.603
Now, who are you?

00:28:48.686 --> 00:28:52.899
I am Lady Elizabeth Wadsworth,
and I am afraid to tell you

00:28:52.982 --> 00:28:55.652
I take umbrage with the despicable,

00:28:55.735 --> 00:28:58.321
animalistic way
you are behaving in my room!

00:28:58.404 --> 00:29:02.116
Yeah. Okay, right.
No, 'cause Tanner told me about you.

00:29:02.200 --> 00:29:03.701
You had the job before me, right?

00:29:03.785 --> 00:29:05.954
Had I ever the job you possess,

00:29:06.037 --> 00:29:09.791
I shall think I would have long ago
gone mad from syphilis. Or worse.

00:29:11.251 --> 00:29:14.254
- You think I'm a prostitute?
- I know you to be.

00:29:14.337 --> 00:29:16.881
Grateful only that your customer
seems to have saved himself

00:29:16.965 --> 00:29:19.676
from whatever lusty madness
with which you mean to inflict him.

00:29:20.760 --> 00:29:23.263
Okay. You're nuts. Uh, what?

00:29:23.346 --> 00:29:27.267
You quit 'cause you couldn't stand
being around Tanner after he rejected you

00:29:27.350 --> 00:29:30.728
and now you're stalking him
but in character!

00:29:30.812 --> 00:29:32.730
And I'm the mad one?

00:29:32.814 --> 00:29:35.608
Hey, Tanner.

00:29:36.651 --> 00:29:38.611
Seriously, wake up, okay?

00:29:38.695 --> 00:29:40.446
'Cause your weird stalker is here,

00:29:40.530 --> 00:29:43.199
and I don't feel like
getting stabbed by a lunatic.

00:29:45.743 --> 00:29:46.828
Hey.

00:30:02.176 --> 00:30:03.678
Little known fact,

00:30:03.761 --> 00:30:07.724
this is my favorite room
in all of Wadsworth Manor.

00:30:07.807 --> 00:30:13.187
Can anybody guess why?
Yes. You, the natural brunette.

00:30:13.271 --> 00:30:14.856
Because you love to read?

00:30:15.690 --> 00:30:18.609
Wrong. Reading is for nerds.

00:30:18.693 --> 00:30:23.323
I'm joking. So, over here we have...

00:30:23.406 --> 00:30:24.907
Fuck!

00:30:24.991 --> 00:30:28.911
That... Fuck. Fuck.
That was to illustrate,

00:30:28.995 --> 00:30:32.790
uh, the fact that contrary
to popular belief,

00:30:32.874 --> 00:30:37.170
women of the time
had the tongues of filthy sailors.

00:30:37.253 --> 00:30:38.254
They really did.

00:30:38.338 --> 00:30:42.675
It was very customary, uh,
for women to say "fuck"

00:30:42.759 --> 00:30:46.054
and "shit" and even "cocktease."

00:30:46.137 --> 00:30:49.849
"Pussy" was a very popular
word of the day.

00:30:49.932 --> 00:30:53.895
But, you know, "fuck" did not mean
what it means today.

00:30:54.937 --> 00:30:57.065
Right? It didn't mean that.

00:30:57.148 --> 00:31:01.652
It actually meant
a polite wink at a stranger.

00:31:01.736 --> 00:31:07.283
So, in fact, right now,
I am fucking all of you.

00:31:09.786 --> 00:31:10.870
Oh, my God!

00:31:10.953 --> 00:31:14.874
How dare you pose as me
in my own house, spewing such filth!

00:31:15.666 --> 00:31:18.127
Okay, um...

00:31:18.211 --> 00:31:21.464
does everybody see this
old-timey-looking lady right now?

00:31:23.424 --> 00:31:26.094
- Hi.
- Holy shit.

00:31:26.177 --> 00:31:30.098
You are an abomination.
A filthy tramp, you are.

00:31:30.181 --> 00:31:33.518
- What did you call me?
- I didn't call you anything.

00:31:35.228 --> 00:31:40.525
Call... Call on me.
Uh, I had so many gentleman callers...

00:31:40.608 --> 00:31:43.152
- That is a lie!
- ...calling upon me.

00:31:43.236 --> 00:31:45.738
I was a faithfully married woman.
You take your lies...

00:31:45.822 --> 00:31:48.092
- Just one after the other.
- ...and vacate this house at once.

00:31:48.116 --> 00:31:49.876
Just gentleman caller
after gentleman caller.

00:31:49.909 --> 00:31:51.536
One after the other. In and out.

00:31:51.619 --> 00:31:53.347
You should be ashamed
speaking in such a crass manner.

00:31:53.371 --> 00:31:57.625
- It is most unbecoming!
- Okay. Now, that's the end of the tour.

00:31:57.708 --> 00:32:00.169
That's it. Um, thank you for coming.

00:32:00.253 --> 00:32:02.672
And, uh, please come see us again soon.

00:32:04.006 --> 00:32:07.051
Excuse me.
Is that really the end of the tour?

00:32:07.135 --> 00:32:09.637
You are a disgrace.

00:32:09.720 --> 00:32:13.141
I am not listening to you,
you obnoxious old asshole!

00:32:14.058 --> 00:32:15.351
Oh!

00:32:15.435 --> 00:32:17.437
Oh...

00:32:17.520 --> 00:32:20.523
Sorry, ma'am, you were great.

00:32:21.941 --> 00:32:23.609
What the f...

00:32:44.589 --> 00:32:46.215
Come on in.

00:32:46.299 --> 00:32:48.509
So many different theories
that it wouldn't...

00:32:48.593 --> 00:32:50.428
Oh. Sorry.

00:32:50.511 --> 00:32:52.430
I didn't know you were busy with a lady.

00:32:52.513 --> 00:32:56.392
Uh, this is my student, Jenny.
Jenny, this is, uh...

00:32:56.476 --> 00:33:00.480
Hannah. Hi. I'm an actress.
And a model sometimes.

00:33:00.563 --> 00:33:02.440
- Hi.
- Hi.

00:33:02.523 --> 00:33:07.612
Okay. So I guess I'll, uh,
come back when you're not, um...

00:33:07.695 --> 00:33:11.199
Oh, no. No!
Jenny and I were just finishing up.

00:33:11.282 --> 00:33:14.118
Hannah, uh, so that-that
would be perfect. You can do it.

00:33:14.202 --> 00:33:16.579
- Thanks, Dr. Plumm.
- Sure. I'll see you in class, Jenny.

00:33:19.332 --> 00:33:20.958
- Hi.
- Dr. Plumm?

00:33:21.042 --> 00:33:24.170
- What?
- Were you guys doing, like, role-playing?

00:33:24.253 --> 00:33:28.174
Like doctor-patient shit?
You are kinkier than I thought.

00:33:28.257 --> 00:33:30.510
It's nothing inappropriate, I assure you.

00:33:30.593 --> 00:33:33.513
- Oh.
- Just regular office hours. I...

00:33:33.596 --> 00:33:37.391
Honestly. Yeah.
You can throw it away.

00:33:37.475 --> 00:33:40.520
- Don't tell anyone about my office hours.
- Oh, I won't.

00:33:40.603 --> 00:33:42.688
That everyone has. All teachers have.

00:33:42.772 --> 00:33:45.066
- It's just a student.
- Yeah.

00:33:45.149 --> 00:33:47.860
What can I...
What can I help you with, Hannah?

00:33:47.944 --> 00:33:50.571
Okay. So you say you're a doctor.

00:33:50.655 --> 00:33:52.907
- Well, I am a doctor.
- Okay.

00:33:52.990 --> 00:33:54.909
Do you know anyone
who can do an exorcism?

00:33:56.077 --> 00:33:58.079
- An exorcism?
- Mm-hmm.

00:33:58.162 --> 00:34:00.206
What's this about?

00:34:00.289 --> 00:34:04.001
Okay, so,
I was giving a tour this morning,

00:34:04.085 --> 00:34:05.795
and Lady Wadsworth was on it.

00:34:06.587 --> 00:34:08.631
Like, the real Lady Wadsworth.

00:34:08.714 --> 00:34:11.717
Like, she was a ghost, I think.

00:34:11.801 --> 00:34:14.387
But not like a scary, like, ghost.

00:34:14.470 --> 00:34:18.015
She was more like
an old-fashioned bitch ghost.

00:34:18.099 --> 00:34:21.310
Like all like stuffy and shit.
Like, "Neh, neh, neh."

00:34:21.394 --> 00:34:24.313
Super annoying and, like, yelling at me.

00:34:24.397 --> 00:34:26.232
So now I need to try to get rid of her,

00:34:26.315 --> 00:34:28.484
and I thought the easiest way to do that

00:34:28.568 --> 00:34:32.655
would be to find someone who knows about,
like, potions and spells and whatever,

00:34:32.738 --> 00:34:38.327
like a doctor or a witch doctor
or like a priest who can do an exorcism.

00:34:38.411 --> 00:34:40.663
But not like an old weak priest.

00:34:40.746 --> 00:34:44.333
I want, like, a hot, young,
like, athletic priest

00:34:44.417 --> 00:34:46.586
who can really take a beating.

00:34:46.669 --> 00:34:49.213
So what do you think? Can you help me?
Do you know anyone?

00:34:53.050 --> 00:34:54.594
Oh, forget it.

00:34:54.677 --> 00:34:57.305
What... Wait, hold on. I'm sorry. Hold on.

00:34:57.388 --> 00:35:00.099
Wait, wait, wait.
I... You just caught me a little off guard

00:35:00.182 --> 00:35:03.185
- coming in here talking about exorcisms.
- Well...

00:35:03.269 --> 00:35:06.230
So I don't really know much
about this kinda thing.

00:35:06.314 --> 00:35:09.817
- It's not my field. Um...
- Sorry.

00:35:09.900 --> 00:35:12.570
I do know that exorcisms only really work

00:35:12.653 --> 00:35:14.488
if the spirit
is possessing a living person.

00:35:14.572 --> 00:35:17.199
So I don't think that would be
your best bet.

00:35:17.283 --> 00:35:19.118
Okay, well, thanks anyway.

00:35:19.201 --> 00:35:21.412
Well, wait! Where are you going?

00:35:21.495 --> 00:35:23.998
- What do you mean? I'm giving up.
- Just like that?

00:35:24.081 --> 00:35:28.461
Yeah. This is more effort than I've
put into anything in a long time,

00:35:28.544 --> 00:35:29.587
and I'm tired.

00:35:29.670 --> 00:35:31.380
- You're tired already?
- Yes!

00:35:31.464 --> 00:35:33.883
Well, there might be
some other things we can try.

00:35:33.966 --> 00:35:35.134
Okay.

00:35:35.217 --> 00:35:39.889
Um, Cynthia,
cancel all my afternoon appointments.

00:35:41.432 --> 00:35:42.725
Who's Cynthia?

00:35:42.808 --> 00:35:44.352
That's my fake secretary.

00:35:44.435 --> 00:35:47.980
I just told her to cancel
all my fake appointments.

00:35:48.064 --> 00:35:51.317
Oh, it's a joke.
Oh, yeah. It's funny.

00:35:54.070 --> 00:35:56.822
Is that... Okay, now see...

00:35:56.906 --> 00:35:59.075
Ask about ghosts.
How to get rid of ghosts.

00:35:59.158 --> 00:36:00.552
- Think this will be that simple?
- Mm-hmm.

00:36:00.576 --> 00:36:01.492
Oh, yeah.

00:36:03.287 --> 00:36:04.497
- Ow!
- Oh, my God.

00:36:04.580 --> 00:36:05.790
- It's all right.
- Seriously?

00:36:05.873 --> 00:36:06.874
It's fine.

00:36:08.584 --> 00:36:11.629
Wow. It's really going.

00:36:11.712 --> 00:36:15.341
<i>♪ Pushing our way through the crowd ♪</i>

00:36:15.424 --> 00:36:17.718
<i>♪ Wait, he said
got the devil in his head ♪</i>

00:36:17.802 --> 00:36:20.554
I think I'm allergic to sage.

00:36:20.638 --> 00:36:24.183
- Excuse me.
- It's okay.

00:36:24.266 --> 00:36:26.102
<i>♪ And kick the devil out the door ♪</i>

00:36:26.185 --> 00:36:30.189
<i>♪ And watch him walk away like a prince ♪</i>

00:36:30.272 --> 00:36:33.567
<i>♪ Once again he's original as sin ♪</i>

00:36:33.651 --> 00:36:37.196
<i>♪ But there ain't nowhere to run
I got the evidence ♪</i>

00:36:37.279 --> 00:36:38.614
"O."

00:36:39.156 --> 00:36:40.157
"O."

00:36:40.241 --> 00:36:41.826
"N."

00:36:41.909 --> 00:36:43.619
"N."

00:36:43.703 --> 00:36:46.580
- "Clean my roon."
- Huh.

00:36:46.664 --> 00:36:48.582
What's a "roon"?

00:36:48.666 --> 00:36:53.003
Well, I'm-I'm guessing she meant
"room," with an "M."

00:36:53.087 --> 00:36:56.006
I think that's a leap.

00:36:56.090 --> 00:36:58.843
How do you know she didn't mean
"clean your roop"?

00:36:58.926 --> 00:37:00.010
What's a "roop"?

00:37:00.094 --> 00:37:02.805
Exactly.

00:37:02.888 --> 00:37:06.183
<i>♪ Once again he's original as sin ♪</i>

00:37:06.267 --> 00:37:10.604
<i>♪ But there ain't nowhere to run
I got the evidence ♪</i>

00:37:13.607 --> 00:37:16.235
<i>♪ We still got far to go ♪</i>

00:37:16.318 --> 00:37:19.280
<i>♪ But there's plenty of time
And we're watching for the signs ♪</i>

00:37:19.363 --> 00:37:21.323
Whoa.

00:37:21.407 --> 00:37:23.701
What are you, a 13-year-old boy?

00:37:23.784 --> 00:37:25.411
These are from the '80s.

00:37:25.494 --> 00:37:28.456
It was my favorite era of D.
I'm old school.

00:37:28.539 --> 00:37:31.083
- Your favorite era of "D"?
- Yeah. My favorite.

00:37:31.167 --> 00:37:36.964
So keep in mind, these are classics
that I'm throwing out right now.

00:37:40.009 --> 00:37:41.343
Whoa! Jesus.

00:37:42.762 --> 00:37:46.348
See? Old school.
I call this one my Tom Selleck.

00:37:46.432 --> 00:37:49.310
Why? Oh, yeah.

00:37:51.937 --> 00:37:54.398
<i>♪ Once again he's original as sin ♪</i>

00:37:54.482 --> 00:37:58.027
I am keeping Judd Nelson. Okay?

00:38:01.489 --> 00:38:03.491
We've been through too much together.

00:38:03.574 --> 00:38:06.118
I wonder why I'm the only one
who can see her.

00:38:06.202 --> 00:38:08.963
Well, I don't know. You know,
I think when a spirit is stuck in limbo,

00:38:09.038 --> 00:38:11.207
it means that they-they need something.

00:38:11.290 --> 00:38:15.544
Like something's been left unfulfilled
or unsolved or something.

00:38:15.628 --> 00:38:19.507
Then why me?
Why isn't she bugging anyone else?

00:38:19.590 --> 00:38:22.551
Maybe you're the only one who can
get her what she wants.

00:38:22.635 --> 00:38:28.891
Hey! Is this what you want?
Is this okay? Clean enough for you?

00:38:32.144 --> 00:38:33.896
- Pretty clean.
- It's very clean.

00:38:42.279 --> 00:38:44.532
- I've never seen so many dildos before.
- Oh.

00:38:44.615 --> 00:38:46.408
Even in like a dildo store.

00:38:47.660 --> 00:38:50.371
You've been to a dildo store?

00:38:50.454 --> 00:38:52.331
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, lots of them.
- Lots?

00:38:52.414 --> 00:38:54.500
Yeah. Well, I-I don't really buy anything.

00:38:54.583 --> 00:38:58.754
I just peruse the aisles, you know.
I find it very calming.

00:38:58.838 --> 00:38:59.880
Yeah.

00:39:02.299 --> 00:39:05.719
I'm just kidding. Obviously.

00:39:13.102 --> 00:39:15.229
You know, I can't believe I'm saying this.

00:39:15.312 --> 00:39:19.358
Uh, all this exorcising
really worked up my appetite.

00:39:19.441 --> 00:39:22.278
What-what are you doing for dinner?
You have plans?

00:39:23.654 --> 00:39:28.951
Oh, sorry, I-I kinda just made plans.

00:39:29.034 --> 00:39:31.370
- Oh, yeah. Okay.
- Yeah.

00:39:31.453 --> 00:39:35.457
That's all right.
Um, I'm gonna... I'm gonna head out.

00:39:35.541 --> 00:39:38.669
- Okay. Yeah. Another time.
- Yeah. Okay, good.

00:39:38.752 --> 00:39:39.837
- Yeah.
- Good, good.

00:39:39.920 --> 00:39:41.714
- Sorry.
- No. No, no.

00:39:41.797 --> 00:39:44.425
Have fun, uh, with your plans,
and I'll-I'll see you.

00:39:44.508 --> 00:39:45.759
- Okay.
- Okay.

00:39:53.225 --> 00:39:54.852
- What's up, bro?
- Nothing. Bro.

00:39:56.729 --> 00:39:57.855
What'd you say?

00:39:59.315 --> 00:40:00.608
Nothing.

00:40:00.691 --> 00:40:02.776
Did you just call me "bro"?

00:40:02.860 --> 00:40:05.446
Well, yeah, but you called me bro,
so I thought it was cool.

00:40:05.529 --> 00:40:08.782
It's cool for me, not for you.

00:40:08.866 --> 00:40:10.784
- Okay, bro?
- Okay. Sorry.

00:40:10.868 --> 00:40:11.868
Yeah, you are.

00:40:15.205 --> 00:40:16.332
Dick.

00:40:17.124 --> 00:40:18.542
What'd you say?

00:40:20.210 --> 00:40:21.211
Nothing.

00:40:36.143 --> 00:40:38.020
Knock, knock. I got your cock, cock.

00:40:38.103 --> 00:40:39.772
- Oh.
- I'm just kidding.

00:40:39.855 --> 00:40:41.565
Ha. Good one.

00:40:42.733 --> 00:40:44.109
- Hey.
- Hey.

00:40:44.985 --> 00:40:46.362
Let me see that smile.

00:40:46.445 --> 00:40:49.281
- Uh. There it is. There it is.
- Yeah.

00:40:52.076 --> 00:40:56.038
- Mm. One second.
- What's wrong, baby?

00:40:56.121 --> 00:40:57.122
Nothing.

00:40:58.207 --> 00:40:59.917
What do you do exactly?

00:41:00.584 --> 00:41:02.378
Huh? You serious?

00:41:03.170 --> 00:41:05.005
Yeah. Uh...

00:41:05.089 --> 00:41:08.842
Like I just realized
I don't really know anything about you,

00:41:08.926 --> 00:41:14.348
like, what you do
for a living or anything.

00:41:14.431 --> 00:41:16.600
I don't know. I do lots of stuff.

00:41:16.684 --> 00:41:18.852
Like with my family business.

00:41:21.230 --> 00:41:23.857
Cool. Like-like what?

00:41:25.025 --> 00:41:29.363
Like I run family business or whatever.

00:41:29.446 --> 00:41:31.365
Oh, sure. Okay.

00:41:34.743 --> 00:41:35.953
For shame!

00:41:36.036 --> 00:41:38.831
I would never play with
the carnal emotions of a man

00:41:38.914 --> 00:41:40.499
in such a childish manner.

00:41:40.582 --> 00:41:43.836
Yeah, well, get it through your thick,
translucent ghost brain,

00:41:43.919 --> 00:41:45.462
I am not you.

00:41:45.546 --> 00:41:48.674
- What?
- Nothing.

00:41:51.010 --> 00:41:54.304
If you do not wish to engage
in these debaucherous activities,

00:41:54.388 --> 00:41:56.557
then simply extricate yourself
from his presence.

00:41:56.640 --> 00:41:58.976
He's clearly not in a sober state of mind.

00:41:59.059 --> 00:42:02.104
- It's not that easy.
- No shit. Can you help?

00:42:02.187 --> 00:42:05.816
A lady should be neither
a trollop nor a tease.

00:42:05.899 --> 00:42:08.444
Yet somehow you succeed in being both.

00:42:08.527 --> 00:42:11.613
I can't do this.

00:42:11.697 --> 00:42:14.700
Dude, are you serious?
What the fuck?

00:42:14.783 --> 00:42:17.953
Yeah. I'm so sorry, um...

00:42:19.121 --> 00:42:22.458
I have diarrhea.

00:42:22.541 --> 00:42:27.379
Well, I guess we'll just cross that bridge
when we come to it.

00:42:27.463 --> 00:42:29.923
Mm, uh, okay. Yeah, we've come to it.

00:42:30.007 --> 00:42:32.051
So you should probably go.

00:42:33.802 --> 00:42:34.970
Fine.

00:42:36.847 --> 00:42:38.307
Wait. Where are you going?

00:42:38.390 --> 00:42:39.641
To jerk off in your bathroom.

00:42:39.725 --> 00:42:42.227
I can't drive home like this.

00:42:43.729 --> 00:42:46.690
I cannot believe you would let him...

00:42:46.774 --> 00:42:50.486
...defile himself in
the sanctity of my powder room!

00:42:50.569 --> 00:42:52.780
Who cares? It's a bathroom.

00:42:52.863 --> 00:42:56.784
I'm sure you've done plenty
of unsanctimoni-bous things in there.

00:42:56.867 --> 00:43:00.871
A lady does not indulge
in the scatological particulars

00:43:00.954 --> 00:43:02.081
of her daily routine.

00:43:02.164 --> 00:43:04.124
Why not? It's natural.

00:43:04.208 --> 00:43:08.796
Not everything in nature
needs to be indulged in. Onanism, for one.

00:43:08.879 --> 00:43:10.297
What is that?

00:43:10.380 --> 00:43:12.341
The spilling of one's seed.

00:43:12.424 --> 00:43:17.012
The act of self-arousal
just for one's own pleasure.

00:43:17.096 --> 00:43:19.681
Oh, my God. What is wrong with pleasure?

00:43:19.765 --> 00:43:21.266
There's nothing wrong with pleasure.

00:43:21.350 --> 00:43:24.103
I myself have experienced many pleasures
in my lifetime.

00:43:24.186 --> 00:43:25.521
- Baking.
- Easy...

00:43:26.313 --> 00:43:27.898
Taking walks.

00:43:28.774 --> 00:43:30.025
Writing in my journal.

00:43:30.109 --> 00:43:32.569
Journal. Wow.

00:43:32.653 --> 00:43:37.366
Should be some good stuff in here, I bet.
Look out, <i>"Penthouse</i> Forum."

00:43:37.449 --> 00:43:41.286
Oh. My God. That was fast.

00:43:41.370 --> 00:43:43.122
What can I say, you turn me on.

00:43:44.206 --> 00:43:45.958
Um, I'm sorry about that...

00:43:46.041 --> 00:43:47.334
Good luck with your shits.

00:43:50.546 --> 00:43:53.882
Good riddance! Ugh!

00:43:53.966 --> 00:43:57.845
Being so close to that wantonly
spilled seed is making me uncomfortable

00:43:57.928 --> 00:43:59.888
so I will take my leave as well.

00:44:01.223 --> 00:44:03.934
Wait a minute. Hey!

00:44:04.017 --> 00:44:08.272
Don't just leave the door
closed in my face!

00:44:08.355 --> 00:44:09.940
I'm talking to you!

00:44:10.023 --> 00:44:12.693
Your anger is most unwarranted.

00:44:12.776 --> 00:44:15.237
If anything,
I should be the one angry at you

00:44:15.320 --> 00:44:18.866
for shamelessly
and so inaccurately impersonating me.

00:44:18.949 --> 00:44:21.410
Okay. Let me explain something to you.

00:44:21.493 --> 00:44:24.037
I am not pretending to be you. Okay?

00:44:24.121 --> 00:44:27.207
I was hired as a tour guide
for this house.

00:44:27.291 --> 00:44:29.960
It's not your house anymore,
but people know you used to live here,

00:44:30.043 --> 00:44:34.756
so as part of the tour,
I dress as you and I act like you.

00:44:34.840 --> 00:44:36.175
Okay?

00:44:36.258 --> 00:44:39.595
- Do you get it?
- Well, I think you are a disgrace,

00:44:39.678 --> 00:44:43.265
and I won't have people
thinking I behave like you,

00:44:43.348 --> 00:44:44.892
a common miscreant.

00:44:44.975 --> 00:44:49.563
Hey! I am not a miscreant.
I don't think.

00:44:49.646 --> 00:44:52.482
And can you just stay the hell
out of my room?

00:44:55.944 --> 00:44:59.406
Oh, okay. Stay outta my room too, please.

00:44:59.489 --> 00:45:02.409
Oh...
Not you... Not you, Marcus.

00:45:02.492 --> 00:45:04.369
It's...

00:45:06.830 --> 00:45:08.373
I have a proposition for you.

00:45:08.457 --> 00:45:10.918
If you insist on pretending to be me,

00:45:11.001 --> 00:45:13.730
for whatever reason you have
concocted in your mad, syphilitic mind...

00:45:13.754 --> 00:45:16.590
Oh, my God, for the last time,
I don't have syphilis.

00:45:16.673 --> 00:45:23.263
Then I insist that you do so properly,
with dignity and, dare I say, respectably.

00:45:23.347 --> 00:45:28.977
In other words, will you allow me
to teach you how to act like a lady?

00:45:29.061 --> 00:45:32.356
Oh, I am a lady!

00:45:32.439 --> 00:45:36.652
Oh, fine. No. Don't disappear
into the floor or whatever.

00:45:36.735 --> 00:45:39.863
I... Okay. I'll do it.

00:45:39.947 --> 00:45:45.452
Just give me some space and please,
please stop cock-blocking me.

00:45:46.411 --> 00:45:49.164
Cock. Blocking?

00:45:49.248 --> 00:45:51.541
Just-just let me do me.

00:45:51.625 --> 00:45:55.128
- Do you?
- Just...

00:45:55.212 --> 00:46:00.717
Let me do some things that are not
necessarily ladylike from time to time,

00:46:00.801 --> 00:46:02.261
in my room.

00:46:02.344 --> 00:46:06.974
All right. If you will allow yourself
to be taken under my tutelage,

00:46:07.057 --> 00:46:09.017
then I suppose I could look the other way

00:46:09.101 --> 00:46:13.438
if you would like to occasionally
indulge in a second mint julep.

00:46:13.522 --> 00:46:17.401
- Thank you.
- Or have a spot of morphine or cocaine.

00:46:17.484 --> 00:46:19.236
Geez, calm down.

00:46:19.319 --> 00:46:21.947
Well, one never knows when one
will be taken by the vapors,

00:46:22.030 --> 00:46:26.618
especially in this powerful afternoon heat
of these Savannah summers.

00:46:27.494 --> 00:46:30.455
- Right. Right.
- Yes.

00:46:30.539 --> 00:46:32.833
I think I'll be okay,
but thank you for the...

00:46:32.916 --> 00:46:34.459
All right.

00:46:35.419 --> 00:46:37.671
Well, then...

00:46:37.754 --> 00:46:40.882
I suppose we have
what your gambling addicted customers

00:46:40.966 --> 00:46:42.426
would refer to as a deal.

00:46:43.802 --> 00:46:48.807
A deal, but only if you
stop referring to me as a prostitute.

00:46:48.890 --> 00:46:52.019
- I will indeed.
- Thank you.

00:46:52.102 --> 00:46:53.937
As long as you stop behaving like one.

00:47:02.738 --> 00:47:04.364
Yeah. I forgot my razor.

00:47:05.782 --> 00:47:08.452
Now, the family portrait wall.

00:47:08.535 --> 00:47:11.038
This is my Aunt Helena.

00:47:11.121 --> 00:47:14.082
Uh, so this is my Aunt Helena.

00:47:14.166 --> 00:47:17.711
Whenever I would have guests
over to the manor,

00:47:17.794 --> 00:47:21.673
I would make sure I was properly
dressed and, of course,

00:47:21.757 --> 00:47:24.092
I would offer them tea and sex.

00:47:24.176 --> 00:47:25.635
- Snacks!
- Snacks!

00:47:26.553 --> 00:47:30.557
So, uh, anyway. Right this way.

00:47:30.640 --> 00:47:33.643
So a lady should walk
as though her entire body

00:47:33.727 --> 00:47:35.771
is being lifted off the ground.

00:47:35.854 --> 00:47:38.565
Like a marionette. Like this.

00:47:38.648 --> 00:47:40.859
Okay. Marionette.

00:47:44.571 --> 00:47:48.075
Bread-making is an art that a lady
should do well to master.

00:47:48.158 --> 00:47:51.370
- Diction is very important.
- Hmm.

00:47:51.453 --> 00:47:54.456
It's not funny, Hannah. Diction.

00:47:55.540 --> 00:47:57.542
Say it. Without laughing.

00:47:57.626 --> 00:47:59.294
Diction.

00:48:03.507 --> 00:48:05.425
I think I am getting it.

00:48:05.509 --> 00:48:09.221
Oh, I can assure you
by any objective measure, you are not.

00:48:09.304 --> 00:48:13.475
Who wants to walk like
a fucking marionette anyway?

00:48:22.317 --> 00:48:26.488
After every bite of food,
a lady dabs her lips with her napkin.

00:48:26.571 --> 00:48:31.034
- Even if there's no reason to?
- Even if there is no reason to.

00:48:31.118 --> 00:48:33.328
But in this case, there is.

00:48:33.412 --> 00:48:36.039
We have these things called grocery stores

00:48:36.123 --> 00:48:41.002
where you can literally just pick up
as much of this stuff as you want.

00:48:45.298 --> 00:48:46.675
No.

00:48:46.758 --> 00:48:48.718
Miraculously, you keep missing it.

00:48:48.802 --> 00:48:52.139
It's actually worse.
It's worse than it was before.

00:48:52.222 --> 00:48:53.682
- Try this one. Ready?
- Mm-hmm.

00:48:53.765 --> 00:48:55.767
To sit in solemn silence
on a dull, dark dock

00:48:55.851 --> 00:48:57.978
in a pestilential prison
with a life-long lock,

00:48:58.061 --> 00:49:00.188
awaiting the sensation
of a short, sharp shock

00:49:00.272 --> 00:49:02.441
from a cheap and chippy chopper
on a big black block.

00:49:02.524 --> 00:49:03.524
Oh, you gotta be fu...

00:49:12.701 --> 00:49:14.911
Careful. Hmm.

00:49:14.995 --> 00:49:16.288
Yeah!

00:49:21.626 --> 00:49:22.627
Mm!

00:49:32.637 --> 00:49:33.805
Oh, my God!

00:49:33.889 --> 00:49:36.099
Thou shalt not take
the Lord's name in vain.

00:49:36.183 --> 00:49:38.327
Red leather, yellow leather.
Red leather, yellow leather.

00:49:38.351 --> 00:49:40.687
Red leather, yellow leather.
Red leather, yellow leather.

00:49:40.770 --> 00:49:43.064
Red leather, yellow leather.
Red leather, yellow leather.

00:49:43.148 --> 00:49:45.734
Red leather, yellow leather.
Red leather, yellow leather!

00:49:45.817 --> 00:49:47.360
Very good!

00:49:47.444 --> 00:49:49.779
This is my cousin Mandy.

00:49:49.863 --> 00:49:53.325
- This is my cousin... Mandy?
- She died.

00:49:53.408 --> 00:49:55.720
She fell off a horse and broke her neck
right in front of my eyes.

00:49:55.744 --> 00:49:56.745
It was awful.

00:49:56.828 --> 00:49:59.706
- That's my mother.
- Oh, this is my mother.

00:49:59.789 --> 00:50:02.542
A lady is not, under any circumstances,

00:50:02.626 --> 00:50:08.048
to produce nonverbal sounds. Hmm?

00:50:08.131 --> 00:50:09.549
While in mixed company.

00:50:09.633 --> 00:50:12.052
- Do you mean like a fart?
- Oh!

00:50:12.135 --> 00:50:16.431
Well, a lady would also not use
a crass term like... like fart.

00:50:16.515 --> 00:50:21.311
But if you must expel any naughtiness
from your nether regions,

00:50:21.394 --> 00:50:25.482
you would excuse yourself from
whatever room you're in to go be alone,

00:50:25.565 --> 00:50:26.983
in another room.

00:50:27.943 --> 00:50:29.694
Actually, uh, if you don't mind,

00:50:29.778 --> 00:50:32.239
I'm going to test out
this method right now.

00:50:32.322 --> 00:50:36.243
- Oh! Already?
- So, yeah. Um, if you'll excuse me.

00:50:36.326 --> 00:50:37.953
By all means.

00:50:39.538 --> 00:50:41.039
- Milady.
- Yes.

00:50:54.386 --> 00:50:56.137
Did you just come into my room to fart?

00:50:57.681 --> 00:50:59.349
Did somebody fart?

00:51:00.976 --> 00:51:02.352
I think it was the floor.

00:51:02.435 --> 00:51:04.813
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah. It's creaky.

00:51:04.896 --> 00:51:06.356
Yeah, I smell it now. Yeah.

00:51:06.439 --> 00:51:09.025
- Mm-hmm. Mm.
- Mm. Huh.

00:51:09.109 --> 00:51:10.277
Hmm. Hmm. Yeah.

00:51:10.360 --> 00:51:11.653
- It wasn't you?
- No.

00:51:11.736 --> 00:51:12.737
- No.
- No.

00:51:13.655 --> 00:51:16.241
- How's the book?
- It stinks.

00:51:19.619 --> 00:51:20.620
Okay.

00:51:30.964 --> 00:51:32.674
What are you doing?

00:51:32.757 --> 00:51:36.261
A lady arises promptly
to greet the morning.

00:51:36.344 --> 00:51:39.514
Ugh. What time is it?

00:51:39.598 --> 00:51:42.392
It's 6:00 a.m.,
and I apologize for my tardiness.

00:51:42.475 --> 00:51:45.854
Okay. Ten more minutes. Ten more minutes.

00:51:45.937 --> 00:51:48.481
No, Hannah. It's time to wake up now.

00:51:48.565 --> 00:51:50.066
Yoop, yoop, yoop, yoop!

00:51:50.150 --> 00:51:52.110
- Yoop!
- Please shut the fuck...

00:52:08.835 --> 00:52:11.963
Hey. We had a deal.

00:52:12.047 --> 00:52:14.883
<i>Force of habit. My apologies.</i>

00:52:16.676 --> 00:52:17.927
Thank you.

00:52:19.220 --> 00:52:20.555
<i>Enjoy your opium.</i>

00:52:22.724 --> 00:52:25.518
And it's weed. It's not opium.

00:53:06.393 --> 00:53:08.436
Happy anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Wadsworth.

00:53:08.520 --> 00:53:10.840
We'd love to offer you
a complimentary bottle of champagne.

00:53:10.897 --> 00:53:12.273
Thanks.

00:53:13.233 --> 00:53:14.442
Baby Yoda.

00:53:22.701 --> 00:53:24.035
Congratulations.

00:53:24.744 --> 00:53:26.705
Tanner. Pic.

00:53:36.381 --> 00:53:38.425
Make sure you tag me this time.

00:53:39.718 --> 00:53:40.760
Okay?

00:53:43.555 --> 00:53:46.395
I'd like to
thank you all for coming to my home today.

00:53:46.433 --> 00:53:48.560
And I wish you all a lovely day.

00:53:52.063 --> 00:53:54.065
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you. Thank you.

00:53:54.149 --> 00:53:57.527
Lady Wadsworth. Look at you.
That was very impressive, I must say.

00:53:57.610 --> 00:53:59.290
I only saw the tail end of it,
but so good.

00:53:59.362 --> 00:54:02.615
Oh, well, that's very nice of you to say,
Professor Plumm.

00:54:02.699 --> 00:54:04.367
Oh, please don't call me that.

00:54:04.451 --> 00:54:06.411
Would you rather be called
Colonel Mustard?

00:54:06.494 --> 00:54:08.496
- Yeah. You know, I would actually.
- Okay.

00:54:08.580 --> 00:54:11.040
So what are you, uh, doing here?

00:54:11.124 --> 00:54:13.960
Uh, well, uh, I'm the head
of the Savannah Historical Society.

00:54:14.043 --> 00:54:16.254
We're cosponsoring this event
for Grayson Wadsworth

00:54:16.337 --> 00:54:17.897
that's coming up here in a couple days.

00:54:17.922 --> 00:54:20.550
I was just picking up contracts for that.

00:54:20.633 --> 00:54:25.930
I'm so sorry. I saw a dog,
and I, like, spaced out for a minute.

00:54:26.014 --> 00:54:28.767
Actually, I just came by to see
if my favorite reenactress

00:54:28.850 --> 00:54:31.186
wanted to hang... hang out.

00:54:32.645 --> 00:54:34.189
If you want. Or not.

00:54:34.272 --> 00:54:35.857
- Not a a big deal. Yeah.
- I would.

00:54:36.900 --> 00:54:40.987
I just, like... I would feel like
I was cheating on my new boyfriend.

00:54:41.070 --> 00:54:43.823
I'm so sorry. I didn't know you
had a boyfriend. I'm sorry.

00:54:43.907 --> 00:54:48.453
Yeah. I mean it's, like, our status
is kind of up in the air right now.

00:54:48.536 --> 00:54:51.372
- Right.
- I'm not good at a lot of things,

00:54:51.456 --> 00:54:54.042
but one thing I am good at
is reading people,

00:54:54.125 --> 00:54:57.253
and I just have a feeling
it's about to get serious.

00:54:57.337 --> 00:54:59.422
- Oh. Uh...
- It's gotta be like...

00:54:59.506 --> 00:55:03.885
Of course. Of course.
Uh, well, I'm happy for you. That's nice.

00:55:03.968 --> 00:55:05.929
- Thank you.
- You deserve...

00:55:06.012 --> 00:55:09.724
Uh, I'm gonna go. Well, I'll see you...
I'll see you around.

00:55:09.808 --> 00:55:10.809
Yeah.

00:55:14.479 --> 00:55:17.482
- That's bullshit, by the way.
- What?

00:55:17.565 --> 00:55:19.317
You're good at a lot of things.

00:55:19.943 --> 00:55:21.277
I think.

00:55:31.037 --> 00:55:32.914
Oh, thanks.

00:55:32.997 --> 00:55:35.458
Did that boy finally muster
the courage to ask you out?

00:55:36.251 --> 00:55:37.418
Oh, he mustered it.

00:55:37.502 --> 00:55:39.587
Oh, thank God. I like him.

00:55:39.671 --> 00:55:41.673
Yeah, I like him too.

00:55:44.342 --> 00:55:48.012
Oh, I've been dying to talk
to someone about this.

00:55:48.096 --> 00:55:51.516
I actually think I'm falling for Tanner.

00:55:51.599 --> 00:55:52.684
Don't say it.

00:55:54.727 --> 00:55:57.146
- What?
- Mm.

00:55:57.230 --> 00:56:01.526
Okay. Look, I know he comes across,
like, weird a little bit.

00:56:01.609 --> 00:56:07.031
Like a little bit cool
and, like, douchey, but...

00:56:07.115 --> 00:56:09.284
And he's also a little, um...

00:56:09.367 --> 00:56:12.161
- Married?
- Married. Yeah, and, like...

00:56:12.245 --> 00:56:13.788
Wait, married?

00:56:13.872 --> 00:56:15.748
Married, like married to his work?

00:56:17.041 --> 00:56:18.960
No, like married to his wife.

00:56:21.462 --> 00:56:24.340
I'm sorry, honey. I thought you knew.

00:56:29.178 --> 00:56:30.178
Wow.

00:56:32.223 --> 00:56:33.641
Hey, sweetie.

00:56:33.725 --> 00:56:35.310
Tum-tum all better?

00:56:39.689 --> 00:56:42.358
- Where were you?
- Sorry I was a little late.

00:56:42.442 --> 00:56:45.862
Keeping a lady waiting is not
a gentlemanly thing to do.

00:56:45.945 --> 00:56:47.572
A lady?

00:56:47.655 --> 00:56:51.951
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Don't you think I'm a lady?

00:56:53.036 --> 00:56:54.621
You're sexy when you're mad.

00:56:57.540 --> 00:56:58.666
Are you married?

00:57:01.920 --> 00:57:03.004
Yes, I am.

00:57:03.087 --> 00:57:05.381
But before we get into that,

00:57:05.465 --> 00:57:08.426
I think we need to talk about
your performance the last few weeks.

00:57:08.509 --> 00:57:09.594
What about it?

00:57:10.637 --> 00:57:11.930
It hasn't been good.

00:57:13.181 --> 00:57:15.433
So I'm afraid we're gonna
have to let you go.

00:57:16.643 --> 00:57:18.603
- You're firing me?
- You were right.

00:57:18.686 --> 00:57:20.855
You're just not cut out for this.

00:57:24.484 --> 00:57:26.527
What are you doing?

00:57:26.611 --> 00:57:27.737
What do you mean?

00:57:27.820 --> 00:57:30.239
- You just fired me.
- Yeah.

00:57:30.323 --> 00:57:32.367
I fired you. I didn't break up with you.

00:57:32.450 --> 00:57:35.161
Let's make your last night here
a special one.

00:57:39.707 --> 00:57:43.962
So then he was like,
"We should fuck anyway."

00:57:44.045 --> 00:57:46.047
And I was like, "Hmm, what?"

00:57:46.130 --> 00:57:48.216
And he was like, "Yeah."

00:57:48.299 --> 00:57:50.593
And I was like,
"I'm not gonna go near your dick."

00:57:50.677 --> 00:57:53.638
- Anna.
- Sorry. It's Hannah.

00:57:53.721 --> 00:57:57.517
Okay. Um, I have other customers
I have to take care of, so...

00:58:03.398 --> 00:58:04.607
Where?

00:58:05.441 --> 00:58:08.861
Here. Surprise!

00:58:10.488 --> 00:58:12.824
- Whoo!
- Shit.

00:58:12.907 --> 00:58:15.368
It's fun to be a ghost.

00:58:15.451 --> 00:58:17.829
Boy, what I wouldn't give
for a mint julep.

00:58:17.912 --> 00:58:19.455
I miss my mortal lips.

00:58:19.539 --> 00:58:23.543
What are you doing here?
I mean, how can you be here?

00:58:23.626 --> 00:58:25.420
I can be anywhere I want to be,

00:58:25.503 --> 00:58:28.006
even in this place of ill repute.

00:58:28.089 --> 00:58:33.136
So you've just been choosing to be
in the mansion this whole time?

00:58:33.219 --> 00:58:35.388
I have. And what of it?

00:58:35.471 --> 00:58:37.932
I... It's just...

00:58:38.016 --> 00:58:41.394
- so boring.
- Hmm.

00:58:41.477 --> 00:58:45.606
Hannah, if you do not wish to share in my
company this evening, please just say so.

00:58:45.690 --> 00:58:47.418
I can see you are here with
a group of friends,

00:58:47.442 --> 00:58:49.277
of which I am clearly not welcome.

00:58:49.360 --> 00:58:51.738
Oh, no, these are just mine.

00:58:51.821 --> 00:58:54.198
I'm-I'm here alone.

00:58:54.282 --> 00:58:55.950
I actually could use some company.

00:58:56.034 --> 00:58:58.911
Well, you must get yourself
to an apothecary immediately

00:58:58.995 --> 00:59:01.289
for some leeches
or you'll risk death by alcohol!

00:59:01.372 --> 00:59:05.418
No. I'm fine. I'm good.
I've got the tolerance of a fat guy.

00:59:05.501 --> 00:59:08.546
By the way,
did you hear I got fired tonight?

00:59:08.629 --> 00:59:12.383
Hopefully the new "you"
is gonna be more to your liking.

00:59:12.467 --> 00:59:16.512
- Why did the Pipkins fire you?
- Huh?

00:59:16.596 --> 00:59:19.223
What error did you commit
to lose favor with them?

00:59:19.307 --> 00:59:21.559
Why do you think the Pipkins fired me?

00:59:23.019 --> 00:59:25.188
Well, because they own the house.

00:59:26.647 --> 00:59:29.400
They... They do?

00:59:29.484 --> 00:59:32.236
Don't be silly. Of course, they do.
I left it to them.

00:59:35.823 --> 00:59:39.077
Holy fucking shit.

00:59:58.888 --> 01:00:03.768
Oh, there you are.
Before you say anything, hear me out.

01:00:03.851 --> 01:00:07.480
I need your help,
but not because you're a man, okay?

01:00:07.563 --> 01:00:08.648
Okay.

01:00:08.731 --> 01:00:11.067
- Because you're a nerd.
- Oh.

01:00:11.150 --> 01:00:13.903
- Why are you so out of breath?
- Oh, my God.

01:00:13.986 --> 01:00:16.572
I've been running around
this whole dumb place looking for you.

01:00:16.656 --> 01:00:19.242
- Well, I wasn't in my office.
- Tanner kicked me out.

01:00:19.325 --> 01:00:20.326
Oh. I'm so sorry.

01:00:20.409 --> 01:00:22.179
And I'm pretty sure
his relatives might have stolen

01:00:22.203 --> 01:00:25.373
Wadsworth Manor from Nia's relatives,
according to the ghost.

01:00:25.456 --> 01:00:28.626
Anyway, I think I like her.
I think we might be friends.

01:00:28.709 --> 01:00:31.087
And, like, it kinda sucks
nobody but me can see her.

01:00:31.170 --> 01:00:34.215
Also, can I crash on the couch
in your office for a few days?

01:00:34.298 --> 01:00:37.009
Please? And by the way,
why aren't you in your office?

01:00:38.761 --> 01:00:40.346
Should I go, Dr. Plumm?

01:00:44.308 --> 01:00:46.060
- No.
- Oh, wow.

01:00:46.144 --> 01:00:47.520
Dewey... What?

01:00:47.603 --> 01:00:51.023
I-I mean, I wasn't expecting that.

01:00:51.107 --> 01:00:53.568
- Expecting what?
- I'm sorry, Dewey.

01:00:53.651 --> 01:00:56.696
Actually, it kind of makes sense.

01:00:56.779 --> 01:00:59.031
You know, look, I know that I hurt you

01:00:59.115 --> 01:01:03.244
and I'm really sorry,
but you moved on really fast.

01:01:03.327 --> 01:01:05.454
He's...

01:01:05.538 --> 01:01:08.207
Dewey, hold on one second.
Just give me a minute, okay?

01:01:08.291 --> 01:01:09.667
Sorry, Dewey.

01:01:09.750 --> 01:01:11.502
- He's my student, idiot.
- Sure.

01:01:11.586 --> 01:01:14.505
- All right, look...
- I mean, I get it, like...

01:01:14.589 --> 01:01:18.301
What? Sorry, Dewey.

01:01:19.760 --> 01:01:21.637
You can crash on the couch
for a day or two,

01:01:21.721 --> 01:01:24.891
but I gotta start drawing boundaries
for myself, okay?

01:01:24.974 --> 01:01:28.186
I can't help you out any more than that.

01:01:28.269 --> 01:01:31.647
Okay. I... I understand.

01:01:34.025 --> 01:01:36.027
I'm sorry. Hold on.

01:01:51.083 --> 01:01:53.586
Oh, gimme a break!

01:01:54.629 --> 01:01:55.880
Sorry.

01:02:03.930 --> 01:02:07.892
No, it's just about the dumb tour
and the Wadsworth's.

01:02:07.975 --> 01:02:12.271
There's a whole worldwide web
of information.

01:02:12.355 --> 01:02:13.648
What do they call it?

01:02:13.731 --> 01:02:15.775
Well, they call it the internet, okay?

01:02:15.858 --> 01:02:18.527
- Internet.
- Yes.

01:02:20.154 --> 01:02:24.992
Oh. There's that bespectacled
gentleman caller of yours.

01:02:25.076 --> 01:02:28.037
I fear he suffers from consumption.
He does not look well.

01:02:28.120 --> 01:02:30.831
No, he's just a nerd.
That's what they look like.

01:02:30.915 --> 01:02:32.208
A nerd.

01:02:32.291 --> 01:02:34.710
- Maxi-pad! Yoo-hoo!
- Shh!

01:02:34.794 --> 01:02:37.338
- I'm here by this computer.
- Shh!

01:02:38.464 --> 01:02:40.091
Who's shushing?

01:02:40.174 --> 01:02:41.676
What are you doing?

01:02:41.759 --> 01:02:43.678
Why are you talking like that?

01:02:43.761 --> 01:02:46.389
What do you mean?
It's a library. I'm whispering.

01:02:46.472 --> 01:02:48.557
That's just as loud as I was being!

01:02:48.641 --> 01:02:50.059
Shh!

01:02:50.142 --> 01:02:53.145
- Sorry. Sorry.
- Shh!

01:02:53.229 --> 01:02:55.398
- What are you even doing here?
- Research.

01:02:55.481 --> 01:02:58.359
Something that you
wouldn't know anything about.

01:02:58.442 --> 01:03:00.361
It's literally what I do for a living.

01:03:00.444 --> 01:03:03.239
What books have you been looking in?

01:03:03.322 --> 01:03:05.616
Oh, yeah, they have books here.

01:03:05.700 --> 01:03:08.786
Look, this is not me helping you,

01:03:08.869 --> 01:03:12.164
but you're gonna have much better luck
finding anything from the 1800s

01:03:12.248 --> 01:03:14.083
if you go to the county courthouse.

01:03:14.166 --> 01:03:16.686
That's where they keep all that stuff.
Wills, deeds, everything.

01:03:16.711 --> 01:03:19.463
Yeah, I know.
We were going to do that next.

01:03:19.547 --> 01:03:20.715
But thank you.

01:03:20.798 --> 01:03:23.968
Consumption. I told you.

01:03:39.734 --> 01:03:42.361
Ma'am? Ms. Gunderson.

01:03:42.445 --> 01:03:44.864
- Can I help you?
- Yes, you may.

01:03:44.947 --> 01:03:49.327
Uh, I am a cold case attorney
from the firm, um...

01:03:50.328 --> 01:03:54.832
- Salt and Pepperstein.
- Okay.

01:03:54.915 --> 01:04:00.338
And, um, I would like to
heretofore request the will

01:04:00.421 --> 01:04:04.925
of one Elizabeth Wadsworth
from the year...

01:04:05.009 --> 01:04:06.677
- 1875.
- 1875.

01:04:06.761 --> 01:04:10.723
Best I can do is provide you
with a printout copy.

01:04:10.806 --> 01:04:13.642
Uh, I'm not sure if you heard me,

01:04:13.726 --> 01:04:18.397
but I'm an attorney, so, like,
I'm gonna need the original copy.

01:04:18.481 --> 01:04:20.399
This is all public record.

01:04:20.483 --> 01:04:22.943
- Oh, is it?
- What does that mean?

01:04:23.027 --> 01:04:24.987
What does that mean?

01:04:25.071 --> 01:04:28.074
That means you don't have to pretend
to be an attorney to see them.

01:04:28.157 --> 01:04:30.242
Sorry.

01:04:30.326 --> 01:04:32.912
The records from that era
are no longer available.

01:04:32.995 --> 01:04:35.623
They were converted to digital years ago.

01:04:35.706 --> 01:04:41.837
But this should suffice
for whatever your purposes are.

01:04:44.090 --> 01:04:46.592
Just regular purposes.
Like nothing weird. Just...

01:04:46.675 --> 01:04:51.889
I don't believe it!
This document has been forged!

01:04:51.972 --> 01:04:54.266
How do you know it's been forged?

01:04:55.601 --> 01:04:56.602
Bluetooth.

01:04:56.685 --> 01:04:58.771
That is not my signature!

01:04:58.854 --> 01:05:01.148
- I didn't do my H's that way.
- Oh.

01:05:01.232 --> 01:05:06.195
I put a squiggle with my W's.
And I would never use a quill that thin.

01:05:06.278 --> 01:05:10.491
And the ink I used
is so much thicker, Hannah.

01:05:10.574 --> 01:05:13.577
I had the most beautiful penmanship.

01:05:13.661 --> 01:05:17.081
I simply do not understand why
my husband would have done this.

01:05:17.164 --> 01:05:20.543
I was explicitly clear
that Wadsworth Manor,

01:05:20.626 --> 01:05:24.046
my beloved father's home,
would be left to the Pipkin family,

01:05:24.130 --> 01:05:26.090
since I could not bear
children of my own.

01:05:26.173 --> 01:05:28.926
Wait, so if you couldn't bear children,

01:05:29.009 --> 01:05:31.637
that means you're not even
related to Tanner?

01:05:31.720 --> 01:05:34.932
I am not.
After my death, my husband remarried

01:05:35.015 --> 01:05:36.350
and began a legacy of his own.

01:05:36.434 --> 01:05:38.602
A legacy that is thriving today.

01:05:38.686 --> 01:05:41.605
I don't know if I'd say "thriving."
He's a total dick.

01:05:41.689 --> 01:05:43.607
You and that word "Dick."

01:05:43.691 --> 01:05:46.444
It's a shortened version
of "Richard," yes?

01:05:46.527 --> 01:05:49.488
I have known many,
many Dicks in my lifetime.

01:05:49.572 --> 01:05:52.491
I don't understand why it took you
over 100 years

01:05:52.575 --> 01:05:54.910
to figure out that he fucked you over.

01:05:54.994 --> 01:05:58.289
- Ugh!
- Oh! That he screwed you over.

01:05:58.372 --> 01:06:00.791
Messed you over?

01:06:00.875 --> 01:06:02.042
That's better.

01:06:02.126 --> 01:06:05.838
You know, for a ghost,
your powers are pretty limited.

01:06:05.921 --> 01:06:10.009
Aren't you supposed to be, like,
all-knowing or whatever?

01:06:10.092 --> 01:06:12.428
I just assumed my wishes
had been fulfilled.

01:06:12.511 --> 01:06:15.389
Nia always seemed so in charge,
like her mother before her.

01:06:15.473 --> 01:06:18.684
Okay. I have watched enough
cold case shows

01:06:18.767 --> 01:06:20.478
to be able to figure this out.

01:06:20.561 --> 01:06:25.524
The first thing they do is
they talk about what they already know.

01:06:25.608 --> 01:06:29.612
So, what do we already know?

01:06:29.695 --> 01:06:34.867
- Wadsworth Manor has tours.
- You can write on a wall.

01:06:34.950 --> 01:06:39.330
- I, Hannah, worked there for a while.
- Just wipe it right off.

01:06:40.331 --> 01:06:43.459
You, Lady Wadsworth,

01:06:43.542 --> 01:06:47.671
is a ghost with crappy powers.

01:06:47.755 --> 01:06:50.883
That's hurting my feelings a little bit.

01:06:50.966 --> 01:06:53.344
"Crappy powers."

01:06:53.427 --> 01:06:58.849
Oh. Anyone can get a will
from a courthouse.

01:07:01.393 --> 01:07:04.647
Well, you have just
broken this case wide open.

01:07:04.730 --> 01:07:06.065
Oh. Sarcasm.

01:07:06.148 --> 01:07:09.026
I didn't think that was invented
until the 1900s.

01:07:09.109 --> 01:07:14.240
You know, for such an anal lady,
you're actually pretty careless.

01:07:14.323 --> 01:07:17.451
I don't know why you
wouldn't have made a duplicate copy

01:07:17.535 --> 01:07:18.994
of the will or something.

01:07:19.078 --> 01:07:21.413
- Of course I made a duplicate copy.
- What?

01:07:21.497 --> 01:07:23.916
- Where is it?
- In a book in my bedroom.

01:07:23.999 --> 01:07:26.210
Oh, my God!
Why didn't you tell me that?

01:07:26.293 --> 01:07:29.713
We've wasted so much time
doing all this research!

01:07:29.797 --> 01:07:32.258
Well, surely the duplicate
would have been discovered by now.

01:07:32.341 --> 01:07:33.661
My crucial mistake was putting it

01:07:33.717 --> 01:07:36.720
inside of such a wildly popular
work of literature.

01:07:36.804 --> 01:07:39.098
Where did you put it, in the Jesus book?

01:07:39.181 --> 01:07:41.267
- The Bible?
- Yes.

01:07:41.350 --> 01:07:44.728
Close. <i>The American Woman's Home</i>
by Harriet Beecher Stowe.

01:07:44.812 --> 01:07:47.606
Oh, my God.
Did you erase my lesson plan?

01:07:47.690 --> 01:07:50.109
Look, I'm sorry to offend you,

01:07:50.192 --> 01:07:52.611
but what we are doing
is so much more important

01:07:52.695 --> 01:07:53.862
than your little lesson plan.

01:07:53.946 --> 01:07:56.782
- Okay?
- Oh, yeah. I can see that.

01:07:56.865 --> 01:08:01.328
You know, if you're not gonna help,
I'm going to kindly ask you to leave.

01:08:01.412 --> 01:08:04.415
- This is my office.
- Oh, yeah.

01:08:04.498 --> 01:08:09.003
Out of curiosity, how much longer
are you planning on living here?

01:08:12.673 --> 01:08:14.550
Hold that thought.

01:08:14.633 --> 01:08:16.885
You don't happen to know
someone in the play department,

01:08:16.969 --> 01:08:18.971
by any chance, do you?

01:08:19.054 --> 01:08:20.222
What?

01:08:24.768 --> 01:08:27.479
And while I lived here, I hosted...

01:08:27.563 --> 01:08:30.107
I'm sorry, but the 12:00 tour
already started, Rabbi.

01:08:30.190 --> 01:08:31.483
You can come back for the 2:00.

01:08:31.567 --> 01:08:33.485
Uh, that's okay.

01:08:33.569 --> 01:08:37.948
I have to, uh, snip a little boy's
wiener at that time,

01:08:38.032 --> 01:08:40.284
so, uh, I'll just go to this one.

01:08:40.367 --> 01:08:43.787
Uh, enjoy the tour.

01:08:44.788 --> 01:08:45.789
Mazel.

01:08:48.417 --> 01:08:52.630
In fact, in a few days,
this lobby will once again host...

01:09:09.063 --> 01:09:13.442
Yes!

01:09:13.525 --> 01:09:18.113
Thief! I must insist that you
vacate my bedroom at once!

01:09:18.197 --> 01:09:20.240
It's me.

01:09:20.324 --> 01:09:23.494
Oh, my God. It's Hannah, you idiot.

01:09:23.577 --> 01:09:25.371
- Oh, my word!
- I found the will.

01:09:26.246 --> 01:09:28.332
What kind of sorcery is this?

01:09:28.415 --> 01:09:31.085
How have you come to
transform yourself so?

01:09:32.378 --> 01:09:35.172
I got bit by a dog that has rabbis.

01:09:35.255 --> 01:09:37.883
Oh, you don't get it.

01:09:37.966 --> 01:09:40.886
I get it. I just don't find it
to be humorous.

01:09:40.969 --> 01:09:42.846
Oh, like you would know funny.

01:09:42.930 --> 01:09:45.516
I thought it was against
the lady rules to even laugh.

01:09:45.599 --> 01:09:48.852
It's against them to indulge in laughter.

01:09:48.936 --> 01:09:51.772
That's nuts.
Laughter is such a great part of life.

01:09:51.855 --> 01:09:53.774
A little laughter is fine.

01:09:53.857 --> 01:09:56.485
A touch of silliness.

01:09:56.568 --> 01:10:00.614
I myself have been known to make
a silly face from time to time.

01:10:00.698 --> 01:10:03.367
- Really? Let's see it.
- Mm-mmm.

01:10:03.450 --> 01:10:05.160
I want to see it. Come on.

01:10:07.371 --> 01:10:09.581
That's it? That's your silly face.

01:10:09.665 --> 01:10:11.709
- Yes!
- Oh, come on.

01:10:11.792 --> 01:10:14.503
It's like this. It's not even...

01:10:15.254 --> 01:10:16.797
Okay. Try this one.

01:10:20.217 --> 01:10:21.218
How about this?

01:10:22.219 --> 01:10:23.887
- Oh, I couldn't possibly.
- Come on.

01:10:23.971 --> 01:10:26.491
- I couldn't possibly!
- You were going like this. Try this one.

01:10:53.876 --> 01:10:55.377
I'd love to hear what's so funny.

01:10:57.963 --> 01:10:59.214
What have you got there?

01:11:00.174 --> 01:11:01.341
Oh, nothing.

01:11:01.425 --> 01:11:03.093
Psst. Catch.

01:11:05.179 --> 01:11:06.638
Oh!

01:11:08.849 --> 01:11:10.559
- Hello, police?
- Fuck.

01:11:10.642 --> 01:11:13.687
I'd like to report a break-in
at Wadsworth Manor.

01:11:14.438 --> 01:11:16.857
Now we must remain calm,

01:11:16.940 --> 01:11:19.526
so we can figure out how to
get another copy of that will

01:11:19.610 --> 01:11:20.962
since your carelessness destroyed it,

01:11:20.986 --> 01:11:23.197
along with my most cherished book,
I might add.

01:11:23.280 --> 01:11:25.574
Oh, I destroyed it?
You're the one who didn't catch it!

01:11:25.657 --> 01:11:28.243
I cannot touch material things
of this world. You know that!

01:11:28.327 --> 01:11:30.913
Then how the fuck were you
planning on reading the book again?

01:11:30.996 --> 01:11:34.583
- Your language is...
- Is unladylike?

01:11:34.666 --> 01:11:38.045
- Yes!
- Guess what, Lizzie, it's not 1875.

01:11:38.128 --> 01:11:40.589
Ladies say "fuck" and "shit" and "fart,"

01:11:40.672 --> 01:11:44.301
and sometimes, gasp,
they actually do fart and shit and fuck!

01:11:44.384 --> 01:11:47.596
- At the same time?
- Time to catch up to the 20th century.

01:11:47.679 --> 01:11:48.764
It's the 21st century.

01:11:48.847 --> 01:11:50.516
That's what I meant!

01:11:50.599 --> 01:11:53.268
You always gotta be right, don't you?

01:11:53.352 --> 01:11:55.813
I'm just never good enough
or smart enough

01:11:55.896 --> 01:11:57.773
or-or fucking ladylike enough.

01:11:57.856 --> 01:12:00.776
And I am so sick
of constantly being reminded.

01:12:00.859 --> 01:12:03.695
Well, I am so sick of having to remind!

01:12:03.779 --> 01:12:06.490
You are so utterly careless
with your own affairs.

01:12:06.573 --> 01:12:08.426
I was a fool to think
you could help me with mine,

01:12:08.450 --> 01:12:09.493
as friends are wont to do.

01:12:09.576 --> 01:12:11.912
Friends? Oh, we're not friends.

01:12:13.664 --> 01:12:16.834
I never asked to be part of your life.
Or afterlife.

01:12:16.917 --> 01:12:19.837
Or whatever the fuck this is.

01:12:19.920 --> 01:12:22.297
Everything okay in here, ladies?

01:12:22.381 --> 01:12:24.883
Uh, can I request a transfer?

01:12:26.927 --> 01:12:30.722
Well, if that is the way that you feel,
then I will not bother you anymore.

01:12:30.806 --> 01:12:31.974
I'm sorry I haunted you.

01:12:32.057 --> 01:12:34.059
I'm sorry if I have caused you any pain.

01:12:34.142 --> 01:12:39.356
And I'm sorry for any cock blockage
I may have put you through.

01:12:41.525 --> 01:12:43.652
Oh, wait! Don't go!

01:12:46.989 --> 01:12:48.490
Okay.

01:12:49.324 --> 01:12:50.576
I'm Jinx, by the way.

01:12:50.659 --> 01:12:53.161
You got any extra meds that I can get?

01:12:54.580 --> 01:12:58.166
Hey, Rabbi. You made bail.

01:13:00.460 --> 01:13:01.837
I'm over here.

01:13:01.920 --> 01:13:05.048
Actually, I think I'm gonna walk.

01:13:05.132 --> 01:13:07.217
- I've got work to do.
- Oh, yeah?

01:13:07.301 --> 01:13:10.846
Yeah.
Someone's gotta save Wadsworth Manor.

01:13:10.929 --> 01:13:13.640
- You really care about her, huh?
- What do you mean?

01:13:13.724 --> 01:13:15.493
Lady Wadsworth.
Remember, it wasn't that long ago

01:13:15.517 --> 01:13:18.145
we were trying to sage her
out of existence.

01:13:18.937 --> 01:13:20.606
I care about Nia.

01:13:20.689 --> 01:13:22.190
She deserves that house.

01:13:22.274 --> 01:13:24.902
And I'm gonna make damn sure she gets it.

01:13:45.380 --> 01:13:51.803
It's, like, how the fuck
am I supposed to do this by myself?

01:13:51.887 --> 01:13:56.350
Like, who do I think I am?
Do you know who I am?

01:13:56.433 --> 01:13:59.478
Do you? Huh? Like...

01:14:00.979 --> 01:14:06.109
I was friends with a ghost,
like, an actual ghost,

01:14:06.193 --> 01:14:12.491
and now it's like, like,
Tanner is such a dick!

01:14:12.574 --> 01:14:15.786
You know, like, who cares?

01:14:15.869 --> 01:14:17.329
Like, who cares?

01:14:19.498 --> 01:14:24.544
Listen, I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about, but here's the deal.

01:14:24.628 --> 01:14:27.255
You're a smart, confident woman,

01:14:27.339 --> 01:14:30.300
who I fully believe could do
anything she sets her mind to.

01:14:30.384 --> 01:14:31.885
Now go do it.

01:14:33.553 --> 01:14:36.223
- Go.
- You're right.

01:14:36.306 --> 01:14:39.893
I can do anything you set my mind to.

01:14:39.977 --> 01:14:41.269
Close enough.

01:14:41.353 --> 01:14:43.730
I'm gonna make you proud!

01:14:43.814 --> 01:14:48.443
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
You still have a tab here for $279.

01:14:48.527 --> 01:14:53.490
- How you want to settle that?
- Oh. What? Oh.

01:14:53.573 --> 01:14:57.369
Yeah? 'Cause my friend is,
like, calling out to me.

01:14:57.452 --> 01:15:00.455
No, I'll be right there! Sorry.

01:15:03.458 --> 01:15:05.627
I-I don't hear anything.

01:15:19.224 --> 01:15:23.895
When I was alive, I hosted
a number of festive galas and balls.

01:15:23.979 --> 01:15:27.899
In fact... we may once again
play host to such an event.

01:15:27.983 --> 01:15:31.945
And right over here, of course,
we have General Sherman's hat.

01:15:32.029 --> 01:15:34.573
<i>♪ Maybe living on another shore ♪</i>

01:15:34.656 --> 01:15:37.617
<i>♪ Something different
that I'm living for ♪</i>

01:15:37.701 --> 01:15:41.329
<i>♪ Or someone ♪</i>

01:15:41.413 --> 01:15:44.082
<i>♪ Cover to cover ♪</i>

01:15:44.166 --> 01:15:47.294
<i>♪ Never satisfied ♪</i>

01:15:47.377 --> 01:15:52.924
<i>♪ I'm going under
I wanna go home won't never look back ♪</i>

01:15:53.008 --> 01:15:56.970
<i>♪ Maybe I'll try
Maybe I'll die trying ♪</i>

01:15:57.054 --> 01:15:59.556
<i>♪ To let this be enough ♪</i>

01:15:59.639 --> 01:16:04.311
<i>♪ For now, for now, enough ♪</i>

01:16:04.394 --> 01:16:08.065
<i>♪ Maybe I'll try
Maybe I'll die trying ♪</i>

01:16:08.148 --> 01:16:10.901
<i>♪ To let this be enough ♪</i>

01:16:10.984 --> 01:16:13.111
<i>♪ For now... ♪</i>

01:16:18.033 --> 01:16:20.077
<i>♪ I'm over everyone ♪</i>

01:16:20.160 --> 01:16:22.829
<i>♪ I stay home, stay on the run ♪</i>

01:16:22.913 --> 01:16:25.791
<i>♪ I go blind when the visions come ♪</i>

01:16:25.874 --> 01:16:28.835
<i>♪ I'm kept under ♪</i>

01:16:28.919 --> 01:16:31.505
<i>♪ And there's no other life ♪</i>

01:16:31.588 --> 01:16:34.174
<i>♪ There's no living in another lie ♪</i>

01:16:34.257 --> 01:16:37.969
<i>♪ There's nothing special
about you and I ♪</i>

01:16:38.053 --> 01:16:41.014
<i>♪ We're on our own like everyone else ♪</i>

01:16:41.098 --> 01:16:45.102
<i>♪ Maybe I'll try
Maybe I'll die trying ♪</i>

01:16:45.185 --> 01:16:47.813
<i>♪ To let this be enough ♪</i>

01:16:47.896 --> 01:16:52.692
<i>♪ For now, for now, enough ♪</i>

01:16:52.776 --> 01:16:56.446
<i>♪ Maybe I'll try
Maybe I'll die trying ♪</i>

01:16:56.530 --> 01:16:59.199
<i>♪ To let this be enough ♪</i>

01:16:59.282 --> 01:17:01.118
<i>♪ For now... ♪</i>

01:17:01.201 --> 01:17:03.954
You've been tidying up in here, I see.

01:17:04.037 --> 01:17:06.873
How's the investigation going, Sherlock?

01:17:06.957 --> 01:17:10.252
I would kindly thank you
not to patronize me.

01:17:10.335 --> 01:17:12.671
You sound like you're giving a tour.

01:17:13.880 --> 01:17:16.925
I'm sorry. Seriously, how is it going?

01:17:17.008 --> 01:17:22.139
Not great. I just feel like
I'm missing something.

01:17:22.222 --> 01:17:24.516
Oh, I got it!
You're missing your pipe and your hat.

01:17:25.851 --> 01:17:27.269
Sherlock? Get it?

01:17:29.146 --> 01:17:30.814
Oh, my God!

01:17:30.897 --> 01:17:32.333
I'm sorry.
That was the last one, I swear.

01:17:32.357 --> 01:17:34.734
No. The hat.

01:17:34.818 --> 01:17:37.821
It's in the hat! Holy shit.
You're a genius!

01:17:37.904 --> 01:17:40.699
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm-I'm not following you.

01:17:40.782 --> 01:17:44.911
Okay. It doesn't matter.
I will explain it to you on the way.

01:17:44.995 --> 01:17:46.163
On the way to where?

01:17:46.246 --> 01:17:48.582
On the way to the fancy campaign
thing that you're hosting.

01:17:48.665 --> 01:17:50.625
- Come on!
- That's not for another four hours.

01:17:50.709 --> 01:17:53.336
Come on, great. Well, that will give us
time to find costumes.

01:17:53.420 --> 01:17:55.088
Costumes?

01:17:55.172 --> 01:17:57.048
Welcome to Wadsworth Manor.

01:17:57.132 --> 01:17:58.758
Damn it, Hannah. If Tanner sees you,

01:17:58.842 --> 01:18:00.403
- he's gonna flip his shit.
- I know, but...

01:18:00.427 --> 01:18:04.014
No! No! Sorry. Sorry, freaks.
Not on the list.

01:18:04.097 --> 01:18:07.809
Oh, well, actually, um, I am Max Plumm,
head of the Savannah Historical Society

01:18:07.893 --> 01:18:09.973
and keynote speaker for the evening.
Check your list.

01:18:10.020 --> 01:18:12.480
We'll just get one of
the other history nerds to do it.

01:18:12.564 --> 01:18:16.026
Babe, what the fuck?
You just left me there talking to...

01:18:16.109 --> 01:18:18.153
Oh, my God, stop.

01:18:18.236 --> 01:18:19.696
- What?
- I can't.

01:18:19.779 --> 01:18:21.907
- You can't what?
- Deal.

01:18:21.990 --> 01:18:23.533
- With what?
- I'm dead.

01:18:23.617 --> 01:18:25.577
I cannot deal with your outfits.

01:18:25.660 --> 01:18:28.121
- I'm obsessed.
- Oh. That's a good thing...

01:18:28.205 --> 01:18:30.248
Well, it's a funny story.

01:18:30.332 --> 01:18:33.752
Hannah used to work here
until she was let go.

01:18:33.835 --> 01:18:36.922
Don't know if you care to explain
to your wife the reason behind that.

01:18:37.005 --> 01:18:38.506
Bro.

01:18:55.273 --> 01:18:58.443
I simply adore your costumes.

01:18:58.526 --> 01:19:00.946
Oh, I simply adore yours.

01:19:02.697 --> 01:19:03.949
Wonderful.

01:19:04.032 --> 01:19:06.660
Gertrude Armitage.

01:19:06.743 --> 01:19:09.829
My ex-husband went to school with Grayson.

01:19:09.913 --> 01:19:11.790
Did he now?

01:19:11.873 --> 01:19:15.502
This is my second husband.
This is Felix.

01:19:15.585 --> 01:19:20.924
Oh, hello. Lady Wadsworth,
and this is my first husband...

01:19:21.007 --> 01:19:24.094
- Um...
- Uh, Richmond Wadsworth.

01:19:24.177 --> 01:19:26.054
She forgot my name.

01:19:26.137 --> 01:19:28.348
Please forgive me.
I was already thinking of

01:19:28.431 --> 01:19:31.851
who I would like my second husband to be.
Perhaps Felix.

01:19:31.935 --> 01:19:34.229
Ooh! I'm gonna keep you two apart.

01:19:34.312 --> 01:19:35.772
Grayson!

01:19:35.855 --> 01:19:37.274
Felix, hello there.

01:19:37.357 --> 01:19:39.901
You simply must meet
our charming new guests.

01:19:39.985 --> 01:19:43.280
Well, charming,
I'm afraid I can't argue with,

01:19:43.363 --> 01:19:45.156
but we are anything but new.

01:19:45.240 --> 01:19:47.742
Yes, because we are dead.

01:19:49.160 --> 01:19:50.912
- Yeah.
- Well...

01:19:50.996 --> 01:19:54.207
I just love the fact
that you have decided to dress

01:19:54.291 --> 01:19:56.293
as our beloved ancestors.

01:19:56.376 --> 01:19:58.336
It's charming. Simply charming.

01:19:58.420 --> 01:20:00.130
And may I introduce my wife.

01:20:00.213 --> 01:20:01.840
- Lydia.
- Charmed.

01:20:01.923 --> 01:20:03.883
I'm charmed too.

01:20:03.967 --> 01:20:05.885
- Oh!
- The hem of your dress is filthy.

01:20:05.969 --> 01:20:10.015
Oh, and who is this
charming little rascal?

01:20:11.266 --> 01:20:14.519
Don't mind Mother.
She's not of sound mind, I'm afraid.

01:20:14.602 --> 01:20:16.604
Sounder mind than you, rummy.

01:20:16.688 --> 01:20:18.690
Mother. Please.

01:20:18.773 --> 01:20:19.816
If you'll excuse us,

01:20:19.899 --> 01:20:21.818
I think she just may need
a breath of fresh air.

01:20:21.901 --> 01:20:24.362
- Yes.
- Come along, Mama.

01:20:24.446 --> 01:20:26.531
So nice catching up with you.

01:20:26.614 --> 01:20:29.075
Is that the accent you're going with?

01:20:29.159 --> 01:20:31.328
- No good?
- It's awful.

01:20:31.411 --> 01:20:32.620
- Really?
- It's so bad.

01:20:33.705 --> 01:20:35.832
Attention! Your attention, please.

01:20:35.915 --> 01:20:38.877
As most of you know,
my name is Edna Smythe.

01:20:40.128 --> 01:20:42.964
Please. Save your applause until the end.

01:20:43.048 --> 01:20:47.177
Now, as vice chairwoman of the SPS,

01:20:47.260 --> 01:20:50.722
I feel fortunate to introduce
one of the earliest inhabitants

01:20:50.805 --> 01:20:52.932
of this stunning domicile.

01:20:53.016 --> 01:20:56.394
But before I do,
I'd like to say a few words about...

01:20:56.478 --> 01:20:57.979
Just "Wadsworth."

01:20:58.063 --> 01:20:59.105
"Wadsworth."

01:20:59.189 --> 01:21:00.774
- Oh, my God.
- "Oh, my God."

01:21:00.857 --> 01:21:02.776
You gonna do my Airbnb joke?

01:21:02.859 --> 01:21:06.071
- I don't think so.
- I think that's a mistake.

01:21:06.154 --> 01:21:08.948
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I'm gonna lose my job.

01:21:09.032 --> 01:21:12.202
...of the glorious
historical legacy of Savannah.

01:21:12.285 --> 01:21:17.540
Ladies and gentlemen,
Lord Richmond Wadsworth.

01:21:19.125 --> 01:21:22.712
Thank you!
What a wonderful introduction.

01:21:22.796 --> 01:21:25.840
Thank you kindly.

01:21:25.924 --> 01:21:30.512
It is an honor to be back here
for this most auspicious occasion.

01:21:30.595 --> 01:21:32.597
But it is not I to whom this house

01:21:32.680 --> 01:21:35.767
owes its rightful place
among Savannah notoriety.

01:21:35.850 --> 01:21:39.604
In 1865, General Sherman and his troops,

01:21:39.687 --> 01:21:43.149
while they held my wife
hostage at gunpoint,

01:21:43.233 --> 01:21:49.739
and this is after they savagely marauded
and pillaged their way across Georgia.

01:21:49.823 --> 01:21:52.992
Too bad they didn't just use Airbnb.

01:21:57.539 --> 01:22:03.628
So now, may I present my lovely wife,
the Lady Elizabeth Wadsworth.

01:22:05.213 --> 01:22:07.173
Oh, shit.

01:22:07.257 --> 01:22:09.527
Thank you kind citizens of Savannah.

01:22:09.551 --> 01:22:12.512
I'd like to thank my husband
for that kind introduction,

01:22:12.595 --> 01:22:17.600
even though, truth be told,
he wasn't always the kindest husband.

01:22:17.684 --> 01:22:20.061
For one thing, he murdered me.

01:22:20.145 --> 01:22:22.105
So...

01:22:23.481 --> 01:22:25.567
What... what did she say?

01:22:25.650 --> 01:22:29.028
What I said was your relative murdered me.

01:22:29.112 --> 01:22:35.368
I'm pretty sure he did, anyway.
Uh, but I am definitely sure of one thing.

01:22:35.452 --> 01:22:39.372
This house, known as Wadsworth Manor,

01:22:39.456 --> 01:22:42.417
was, in fact,
not left to the Wadsworth's at all.

01:22:42.500 --> 01:22:46.629
It was left to the family of my friend,
Josephine Pipkin.

01:22:46.713 --> 01:22:49.340
Oh, snap.

01:22:49.424 --> 01:22:52.177
Dear? Whatever is she talking about?

01:22:52.260 --> 01:22:53.887
Okay, enough! This is crazy.

01:22:53.970 --> 01:22:56.139
I know this lady, and she's no lady!

01:22:56.222 --> 01:22:59.601
There are cameras everywhere, idiot.
Don't do something stupid.

01:22:59.684 --> 01:23:04.647
I recently came into possession
of the original will, uh, my will,

01:23:04.731 --> 01:23:07.984
which I found had been doctored.

01:23:08.067 --> 01:23:11.237
Sadly, that will was destroyed

01:23:11.321 --> 01:23:14.866
because of a clumsy miscalculation
on my part.

01:23:14.949 --> 01:23:19.370
I tried to, uh... It's a long story.
It's not important.

01:23:19.454 --> 01:23:24.375
But I do have here my diary.

01:23:24.459 --> 01:23:28.213
Here. My diary.

01:23:28.296 --> 01:23:29.506
Jesus Christ.

01:23:29.589 --> 01:23:31.883
Which can easily be authenticated.

01:23:31.966 --> 01:23:36.221
"The hat. Now my hat,
once a symbol of Southern aggression,

01:23:36.304 --> 01:23:40.225
I hereby proclaim anew
as a symbol of Southern hospitality

01:23:40.308 --> 01:23:44.938
and fellowship to all persons
be they rich or poor, White or Black.

01:23:45.021 --> 01:23:49.692
And I further declare
whosoever possesses this hat

01:23:49.776 --> 01:23:53.613
to be the rightful owner of the manor
in which it should forever rest."

01:23:55.573 --> 01:23:58.493
- My dear, my dear, my dear.
- Yeah.

01:23:58.576 --> 01:24:01.704
I do admire your dedication
to this matter.

01:24:01.788 --> 01:24:04.541
- Thank you.
- But that hat has been in the possession

01:24:04.624 --> 01:24:06.584
of my family for generations now.

01:24:06.668 --> 01:24:09.420
So, if we could get on
with the festivities.

01:24:09.504 --> 01:24:11.857
Marcus, would you escort the young lady
from the stage please. Madam?

01:24:11.881 --> 01:24:14.842
- Just one minute, sir.
- Marcus! Do your job!

01:24:16.177 --> 01:24:18.012
Wait! Wait! I can explain!

01:24:19.556 --> 01:24:23.476
Nia. Nia Pipkin,
will you please come up here?

01:24:26.104 --> 01:24:31.985
Now, Nia, what did your great-great-lots-
of-greats-grandmother

01:24:32.068 --> 01:24:35.530
always sew in everything that she owned?

01:24:36.155 --> 01:24:37.574
Her initials.

01:24:38.449 --> 01:24:40.827
- Her initials.
- So?

01:24:40.910 --> 01:24:45.331
Josephine Zelda, it is not just the name
of a legendary video game, sir...

01:24:45.415 --> 01:24:50.878
- What is she talking about?
- Pipkin. JZP.

01:24:50.962 --> 01:24:56.801
Sewn into every dress, every pair of socks
and every hat that she owned.

01:24:56.884 --> 01:24:58.303
Darling, your cane?

01:24:59.637 --> 01:25:01.222
- You sure about this?
- Mm-hmm.

01:25:07.604 --> 01:25:09.814
Everybody, please stand back.

01:25:09.897 --> 01:25:14.277
And the truth shall reveal itself.

01:25:19.991 --> 01:25:21.492
What is she doing?

01:25:21.576 --> 01:25:23.578
Okay. I'm just gonna... just...

01:25:23.661 --> 01:25:25.079
Fucker.

01:25:26.080 --> 01:25:29.125
Uh... Okay. Oh, God.

01:25:29.876 --> 01:25:30.876
Okay!

01:25:36.257 --> 01:25:38.134
Oh, my God.

01:25:39.218 --> 01:25:40.218
All right.

01:25:43.973 --> 01:25:45.600
Sorry about that.

01:25:45.683 --> 01:25:49.687
As I said, the truth shall reveal itself.

01:25:49.771 --> 01:25:53.066
Show me "JZP."

01:26:02.241 --> 01:26:03.844
- Huh.
- Very exciting, wasn't it? Very exciting.

01:26:03.868 --> 01:26:05.953
That was a wonderful performance.
Just wonderful.

01:26:06.037 --> 01:26:08.373
Okay. Let's go, psycho.
Come on.

01:26:08.456 --> 01:26:11.209
I don't get the big deal
with that ugly old hat.

01:26:11.292 --> 01:26:14.087
It used to be filthy. Like your dress.

01:26:14.170 --> 01:26:15.731
What do you mean "it used to be filthy"?

01:26:15.755 --> 01:26:17.215
It used to be filthy, yes,

01:26:17.298 --> 01:26:21.260
until I took it and had it cleaned
and had the old lining restored.

01:26:24.639 --> 01:26:25.640
Okay.

01:26:28.226 --> 01:26:31.312
JZP!

01:26:33.439 --> 01:26:37.193
Marcus, do your fucking job
and get her outta here.

01:26:37.276 --> 01:26:38.945
I don't think I work for you anymore.

01:26:42.156 --> 01:26:43.908
What about the murder?

01:26:43.991 --> 01:26:47.620
Oh, right. Oh, my God.
The-the murder. Uh, yes.

01:26:47.704 --> 01:26:51.124
Because I, Elizabeth,
was unable to bear children,

01:26:51.207 --> 01:26:53.751
my husband became increasingly agitated.

01:26:53.835 --> 01:26:58.464
In fact, he became very abusive
and, in short, he was quite a...

01:26:58.548 --> 01:27:01.801
How would you say? Kind of a...

01:27:01.884 --> 01:27:02.885
Dick.

01:27:04.220 --> 01:27:07.014
Ah, yes, thank you. A dick.

01:27:09.684 --> 01:27:12.937
"I fear Richmond,
perhaps in an intoxicated state,

01:27:13.020 --> 01:27:14.897
<i>of which he is increasingly prone
to being in,</i>

01:27:14.981 --> 01:27:16.816
may come to do me harm."

01:27:16.899 --> 01:27:21.612
That was one of the lady's
last diary entries.

01:27:21.696 --> 01:27:25.616
<i>She died one week later
of injuries sustained</i>

01:27:25.700 --> 01:27:28.619
<i>from a fall, you guys.</i>

01:27:28.703 --> 01:27:32.790
Oh, friends, ladies and gentlemen,
please, please.

01:27:32.874 --> 01:27:36.294
Tonight marks the launch
of my campaign for mayor of Savannah.

01:27:36.377 --> 01:27:40.214
And as mayor, one of my chief goals
is to promote justice

01:27:40.298 --> 01:27:43.050
for all of Savannah's citizens.

01:27:43.134 --> 01:27:48.264
In light of the information
and evidence presented here tonight,

01:27:48.347 --> 01:27:51.684
I do hereby bequeath this house...

01:27:51.768 --> 01:27:53.186
Did he just say "queef"?

01:27:53.269 --> 01:27:55.146
...and all the contents herein

01:27:55.229 --> 01:28:00.526
to its rightful heirs,
and my dear friends,

01:28:00.610 --> 01:28:04.530
- Nia and Marcus Pipkin.
- This is retarded bullshit!

01:28:04.614 --> 01:28:06.175
So, ladies and gentlemen... Son...

01:28:06.199 --> 01:28:10.244
Would you all kindly raise your glasses
and join me in a toast.

01:28:10.912 --> 01:28:13.581
To Pipkin Manor.

01:28:16.584 --> 01:28:19.045
Wonderful! Mama, drinks in the bar.

01:29:30.992 --> 01:29:32.076
She's gone?

01:29:32.785 --> 01:29:33.786
Yeah.

01:29:34.537 --> 01:29:35.746
It's a good thing.

01:29:35.830 --> 01:29:39.625
Thanks to you,
she's not stuck here anymore.

01:29:41.085 --> 01:29:43.045
- And thanks to you.
- Yeah.

01:30:03.357 --> 01:30:05.151
How's everybody doing today?

01:30:05.234 --> 01:30:06.694
- Everyone all right?
- Yeah.

01:30:06.777 --> 01:30:07.778
Awesome.

01:30:13.117 --> 01:30:16.996
Oh, shit. Oh, I overslept.

01:30:17.079 --> 01:30:19.790
Come on. Five more minutes.

01:30:19.874 --> 01:30:24.587
- Oh, I would love to, but I can't.
- Okay.

01:30:30.384 --> 01:30:34.055
- Five minutes. Four minutes.
- Jesus.

01:30:37.767 --> 01:30:39.101
Knock 'em dead, lady.

01:30:39.185 --> 01:30:40.603
Yeah, no problem.

01:30:40.686 --> 01:30:42.647
My brother will reach out to you.
Thank you.

01:30:42.730 --> 01:30:44.857
Nia, I'm so sorry.
We forgot to set the alarm.

01:30:44.941 --> 01:30:46.400
Girl, you're fine.

01:30:46.484 --> 01:30:48.945
- Have fun on the tour.
- Thank you!

01:30:50.237 --> 01:30:52.782
Well, the lady should be here
any minute now.

01:30:55.952 --> 01:30:57.954
Oh! And here she is now.

01:30:59.997 --> 01:31:01.683
Thank you, Lord Pipkin.

01:31:01.707 --> 01:31:03.334
I am your humble hostess,

01:31:03.417 --> 01:31:04.919
Lady Elizabeth Daubmire.

01:31:05.002 --> 01:31:07.213
I'd like to welcome you to Pipkin Manor.

01:31:07.296 --> 01:31:09.215
Today you'll learn a bit about me,

01:31:09.298 --> 01:31:13.010
but mostly I'll be telling you
about this beautiful manor

01:31:13.094 --> 01:31:15.221
and why it is so very, very special.

01:31:15.304 --> 01:31:19.642
So, today's tour will begin
where all good home tours should begin,

01:31:19.725 --> 01:31:22.144
in the bar room.

01:31:22.228 --> 01:31:24.021
Usually, I like to wait until the sun

01:31:24.105 --> 01:31:26.315
has dipped below the banyan tree
in our backyard

01:31:26.399 --> 01:31:29.652
before I have my afternoon
mint julep, but...

01:31:31.821 --> 01:31:34.073
since-since y'all are here...

01:31:36.367 --> 01:31:38.369
why don't you go on ahead
with Lord Pipkin,

01:31:38.452 --> 01:31:39.996
and, uh, I'll see you in the lobby.

01:31:40.913 --> 01:31:42.081
Well, come on, friends.

01:31:42.957 --> 01:31:44.417
Come on in. Don't push.

01:31:44.500 --> 01:31:47.086
There you go. Welcome to my home.

01:31:47.169 --> 01:31:50.006
- I'm so proud of you.
- Oh.

01:31:51.007 --> 01:31:52.591
Wow! What are you doing here?

01:31:52.675 --> 01:31:54.593
I just wanted to say hello.

01:31:54.677 --> 01:31:57.805
It was my house, after all.

01:31:57.888 --> 01:32:03.310
I don't quite know how to say this,
but you don't have to be here.

01:32:03.394 --> 01:32:05.354
Like, I'm good.

01:32:05.438 --> 01:32:06.856
Looking for Hannah Daniels.

01:32:06.939 --> 01:32:11.485
Okay. I'm Hannah Daniels.
Can I help you, Officers?

01:32:11.569 --> 01:32:16.198
Ma'am, you are under arrest for violating
the Georgia penal code 147-b.

01:32:16.282 --> 01:32:20.828
- What? What even is that?
- Public flatulence.

01:32:20.911 --> 01:32:23.789
Failure to register as
a sex offender within 30 days.

01:32:23.873 --> 01:32:25.374
- Oh, Hannah.
- Oh, that's real?

01:32:25.458 --> 01:32:29.837
Hannah, haven't I taught you
that a lady never offends sexually?

01:32:29.920 --> 01:32:31.130
I didn't. Shit.

01:32:31.213 --> 01:32:33.299
- Language!
- Sorry.

01:32:34.592 --> 01:32:37.470
Okay, y'all. Let's-let's go on inside.

01:32:42.892 --> 01:32:45.811
I'll be here when you get back!

01:32:48.189 --> 01:32:49.440
Bye, Hannah!

01:33:08.918 --> 01:33:11.754
<i>♪ I used to wish I was never born ♪</i>

01:33:11.837 --> 01:33:13.197
<i>♪ Now I don't 'cause I found you ♪</i>

01:33:13.255 --> 01:33:14.757
<i>♪ It's really cool you like me too ♪</i>

01:33:14.840 --> 01:33:17.968
You don't need to be in character anymore.
You already told me you're 19.

01:33:18.052 --> 01:33:20.805
- "Tons of pubes."
- I have tons of pubes, by the way.

01:33:25.810 --> 01:33:27.603
I don't like this kid.

01:33:30.189 --> 01:33:32.024
- You're laughing.
- Sorry!

01:33:32.108 --> 01:33:34.777
Cubed is my favorite way to eat meat.

01:33:39.281 --> 01:33:42.118
I have a great teeth whitening team
if you want to borrow them.

01:33:42.201 --> 01:33:44.537
- It's more than one guy?
- Yeah, it's a team.

01:33:44.620 --> 01:33:45.955
Well, all right.

01:33:49.875 --> 01:33:53.420
- That's bullshit, by the way.
- What?

01:33:53.504 --> 01:33:56.465
You're good at a lot of things. I think.

01:34:07.601 --> 01:34:10.187
Oh.

01:34:10.271 --> 01:34:12.189
- Sorry.
- Yeah. You're messing this up.

01:34:13.858 --> 01:34:17.778
What's a good dildo shake position?

01:34:17.862 --> 01:34:20.114
Keep in mind this is
gonna be my Oscar clip, so...

01:34:20.197 --> 01:34:22.092
- Yeah. "For your consideration."
- We want it... Yeah.

01:34:22.116 --> 01:34:23.909
- She's gone?
- Yeah.

01:34:23.993 --> 01:34:25.369
Well, most of her is gone.

01:34:28.455 --> 01:34:30.166
But it's good. It's nice.

01:34:30.249 --> 01:34:32.293
It's good.
You know, she's not stuck anymore.

01:34:32.376 --> 01:34:33.586
Yeah.

01:34:33.669 --> 01:34:37.882
She's not all pent up anymore.
She's been relieved.

01:34:37.965 --> 01:34:41.010
- Just go away.
- Okay.

01:34:41.093 --> 01:34:43.888
Look. I've cracked the code.

01:34:46.015 --> 01:34:47.933
And I've changed your flight.

01:34:48.017 --> 01:34:50.436
You'll now take off at 4:00 p.m.

01:34:50.519 --> 01:34:52.229
You'll connect in Dallas.

01:34:56.567 --> 01:34:58.235
What the fuck is your problem?

01:34:58.319 --> 01:35:01.530
- What's your problem?
- Sorry. We're so close.

01:35:01.614 --> 01:35:04.074
What do you mean?
What's your problem?

01:35:04.158 --> 01:35:07.286
Look, my uncle's friends with the DA.
I talked to him.

01:35:07.369 --> 01:35:10.331
They're dropping all the charges.
No, they're not. Sorry.

01:35:10.414 --> 01:35:14.793
Yeah, I think so. Maybe a little bounce.
This would be fun.

01:35:14.877 --> 01:35:16.837
- Okay.
- Who is this man?

01:35:19.298 --> 01:35:25.471
Well, if you must create wind
from either the front or the back...

01:35:26.180 --> 01:35:27.389
If you must...

01:35:28.098 --> 01:35:29.308
If you must...

01:35:29.391 --> 01:35:31.560
Look.

01:35:31.644 --> 01:35:34.230
This is not me helping you, but you...
Would you stop?

01:35:34.313 --> 01:35:36.982
Oh, what? I'm acting in the scene.

01:35:37.066 --> 01:35:38.275
So good. I'm sorry.

01:35:38.359 --> 01:35:41.612
Yes. You and that word "Dick."

01:35:45.574 --> 01:35:47.243
Sorry. It's my fault.

01:35:47.326 --> 01:35:50.663
I guess I'll get
a fresh squeezed tangerine juice.

01:35:50.746 --> 01:35:51.997
Uh, but no pulp.

01:35:52.081 --> 01:35:54.792
I guess I'll just have
a Cajun-spice Bloody Mary,

01:35:54.875 --> 01:35:57.962
but don't crowd it up with all those
celery stalks and bullshit.

01:35:58.045 --> 01:36:00.381
I guess I'll just take
a green tea matcha latte,

01:36:00.464 --> 01:36:01.632
but with cow milk!

01:36:01.715 --> 01:36:03.259
None of that vegan bullshit.

01:36:03.342 --> 01:36:07.721
Then I'll just get a mint
chocolate-chip milkshake, but no chips.

01:36:07.805 --> 01:36:10.307
Then I'm getting a bikini wax at 3:00.

01:36:10.391 --> 01:36:13.978
Well, thank God.
I had a whisker rash for four days.

01:36:14.061 --> 01:36:16.355
I wasn't able to do campaign.

01:36:16.438 --> 01:36:18.649
Brian, can you start
closer to this camera?

01:36:18.732 --> 01:36:20.442
I guess that'll never make the cut.

01:36:20.526 --> 01:37:21.902
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