WEBVTT

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..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::..
‏.::  www.bolboljan.net ::.

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<i>HARRY: Hey, Jas, you awake?</i>

00:00:32.400 --> 00:00:34.065
Jason?

00:00:34.080 --> 00:00:36.064
Jason, you awake?

00:00:36.320 --> 00:00:39.021
Yeah, been up for hours.
Just getting dressed.

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You finish your English paper?

00:00:44.520 --> 00:00:45.799
I did it last night.

00:00:45.800 --> 00:00:47.879
Did you eat your oatmeal?

00:00:47.880 --> 00:00:50.182
Yeah. Thanks, Mom.
It was delicious.

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Here you go, Trooper.

00:01:04.400 --> 00:01:05.599
(GROANS)

00:01:05.600 --> 00:01:07.106
(SNICKERING)

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Nice board, Shepherd.

00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:14.159
Bret,

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I'd love to stay and be physically
and emotionally abused by you guys,

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but I should get to school.

00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:24.879
Ow.

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I had a feeling you were an
excellent bully, and I was right.

00:01:29.880 --> 00:01:31.420
Take it easy.

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Give me the skateboard.

00:01:38.040 --> 00:01:43.028
You sure? Because now you're going from
harmless bully to hardened boardjacker.

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You don't want that, do you?

00:01:48.480 --> 00:01:50.350
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

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I assume everyone completed their
creative writing assignments.

00:02:02.160 --> 00:02:03.871
(PAGER BEEPING)

00:02:06.080 --> 00:02:08.879
Read your assignments in a
slow and peaceful manner.

00:02:08.880 --> 00:02:10.864
You, Joshua. Go.

00:02:11.080 --> 00:02:12.679
(INAUDIBLE)
JOSHUA: My dog ate it?

00:02:12.680 --> 00:02:14.550
I know you don't have a dog.

00:02:14.680 --> 00:02:16.311
Right. Sorry.

00:02:16.360 --> 00:02:17.799
Ms. Caldwell?

00:02:17.800 --> 00:02:19.279
Yes, Kaylee.

00:02:19.280 --> 00:02:22.359
Can you open the door?
It's kind of toasty in here.

00:02:22.360 --> 00:02:23.900
I suppose so.

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(JASON GROANS)

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Jason Shepherd. Did you just
come in from that window?

00:02:35.800 --> 00:02:36.999
No, you looked a little flushed.

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I was just creating a cross-draft.

00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:42.799
Now that we're all comfortable,
why don't you read us your story?

00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:44.639
Let's give someone else a chance.

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No, I think we'd all
like to hear yours.

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You did do it, didn't you?

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Ms. Caldwell.
Can I call you Phyllis?

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No.
Understood.

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But, as much as I wanted
to write my paper,

00:02:59.800 --> 00:03:04.424
I mean I really, really wanted
to write my paper, I couldn't.

00:03:04.960 --> 00:03:09.788
I spent all last night in the
Greenbury General emergency room.

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See, my mom made Swedish
meatballs for dinner.

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My dad's favorite. He was so excited,
he accidentally swallowed one whole.

00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:23.319
It was awful. He started choking.
His face turned purple.

00:03:23.320 --> 00:03:25.839
The meatball was literally
bulging out his neck.

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We rushed him to the ER.

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I tried to write it in the waiting
room, but it was too hard.

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I needed to be by my father's side.
After all, he's the only dad I got.

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You're lying through your
teeth, you little demon.

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I wish I were.
Call my dad if you want.

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His number is 555-0147.

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I think I will.

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Are you crazy? You're totally
going to get busted.

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(CELL PHONE RINGS)

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Say, "Harry Shepherd's office."
No way.

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Help me out!
What can I do?

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How about write the paper?

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Do it.
No!

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Harry Shepherd's office.
One moment, please.

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Hello?

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(GASPING)

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Hello, Ms. Caldwell.

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Yes, it's true.
It was terrifying.

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I started to see the white light.

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I was just about to cross
over to the other side

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when I heard an angel's
voice calling out.

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When I opened my eyes

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I saw my sweet, sweet
Jason standing over me.

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I said, "Back off, Grim Reaper.

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"I ain't done living yet."

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And with every ounce of gas
I had left in my body,

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(GIRL EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
I burped that meatball
right across the room.

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(BOY CHUCKLES)
And I owe it all to my son.

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I'm sorry, Ms. Caldwell.
I should stop talking now.

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My throat is still
very sore. Thank you.

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(DOOR OPENING)

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Jason?

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I am so sorry.

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You just take your time
handing in that assignment.

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Thank you.

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Now back to those creative essays.
You, Trevor. Go.

00:05:09.400 --> 00:05:11.429
(BELL RINGING)

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Jason! Just who I was looking for.

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I need to see you in here.

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I would love to hang out
and chat with you, Ms. C,

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but I've got to go home and
help take care of my dad.

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Oh, really?

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<i>HARRY:
How could you lie to us, Jas?</i>

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You told me you wrote that paper.

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I don't know.

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Unfortunately, that essay counts for
one-third of Jason's semester grade.

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Without it, he'll fail the class.

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He'll have to repeat
the course in summer school.

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What?
I can't go to summer school!

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There must be something
he can do to make it up.

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I'm teaching English as a second language
at the community college until 6:00.

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If you can get me the paper by
then, I'll consider counting it.

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Don't even think of downloading
something from the Net, Jason.

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I want that essay handwritten.

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A 1,000-word story in three hours?

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It should be no problem, making up
stories is your God-given talent.

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<i>HARRY: Making up stories
is your God-given talent.</i>

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<i>JASON: "Big</i>

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<i>"Fat</i>

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<i>"Liar."</i>

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<i>"Kenny Trooper was the
world's biggest liar.</i>

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<i>"They say a little lie
can grow bigger.</i>

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<i>"One man will pay the price.</i>

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<i>"People everywhere stopped and
stared at the big, fat liar. "</i>

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Yes!

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Why'd he have to steal
my board today?

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Nice wheels, Shepherd!

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(GUFFAWING)

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Freak!

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(GROANS)

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Sir?

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I think we just hit a kid.

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I'm on the phone.

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Sorry about that. Apparently we
ran over a kid or something.

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You all right there, buddy?

00:07:34.520 --> 00:07:35.799
Yeah.

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But you have to help get me
to the community college

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in two minutes or
I fail eighth grade.

00:07:41.080 --> 00:07:42.199
What is going on here?

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I need a ride.

00:07:44.120 --> 00:07:46.359
What am I, running a taxi service?

00:07:46.360 --> 00:07:50.301
It's right down the road! You're lucky
I don't sue you for whiplash!

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Actually, my neck
does feel pretty stiff.

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(GROANING)

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Get in the car.

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Watch the shoes.
Watch the shoes.

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Man. If you only knew
the kind of day I've had.

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Yeah, it must be really,
really tough to be 11.

00:08:15.480 --> 00:08:17.145
I'm actually 14.

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My mistake.

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Jason Shepherd.

00:08:26.440 --> 00:08:28.071
Marty Wolf.

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Famous Hollywood producer.

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I'm in town shooting
my new picture.

00:08:40.200 --> 00:08:41.831
Oh, yeah, you're that guy.

00:08:41.840 --> 00:08:46.509
Dude, no offense, but you have made
some stinkers in the last few years.

00:08:46.680 --> 00:08:49.039
Everyone has a dry spell, Ebert.

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It's Jason.

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Trust me, all it takes is one
hit to get you back on top.

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That's what I'm counting
on with this story.

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Really? Why don't you
tell me more about that?

00:08:57.520 --> 00:08:58.679
(EXCLAIMS SARCASTICALLY)

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I tried to get out of
it, but I got busted.

00:09:00.680 --> 00:09:02.719
What'd you say?
Dog ate your homework?

00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:05.022
No. Dad choked on a meatball.

00:09:05.040 --> 00:09:07.342
You spent all night
with him in the ER?

00:09:07.880 --> 00:09:08.959
Yeah.

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Teacher called the old man to confirm.
You imitated him.

00:09:12.120 --> 00:09:13.831
Yeah, pretty much.

00:09:14.560 --> 00:09:17.519
Listen and learn, short stack.
Here's where you went wrong.

00:09:17.520 --> 00:09:22.079
You should've made your dad your
sister, the meatball a chicken wing.

00:09:22.080 --> 00:09:25.879
Much easier to swallow, if you
G.M.D., which means, "Get my drift."

00:09:25.880 --> 00:09:27.719
Wow. You're good.

00:09:27.720 --> 00:09:29.919
No, no. I'm the best.

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Here we are.

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All right.
God bless you, Jared.

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It's Jason.

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And it always will be. Now you keep
practicing those lies, Jiminy.

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Because you can take it from me:
The truth, it's overrated.

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Now get out! I got a
movie to produce!

00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:51.399
Thanks for the ride, gentlemen.

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<i>Ciao.</i>

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Earl! You left...

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Back to the set, sir?

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Yeah! Double time it, driver!

00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:14.799
Listen, Whitaker,

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I'm not your sister, I'm not your
girlfriend and I'm not your priest.

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So if you want to remain my partner,
I've got two words for you.

00:10:21.720 --> 00:10:23.039
(CHICKEN CLUCKING)

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Shut the heck up!

00:10:24.640 --> 00:10:27.022
You talk way too much!

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Can we cut? Can we...

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(COUGHING)

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This ain't working for me at all.

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MARTY: What are you doing?

00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:35.624
Are you trying to fumigate me?

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Why did you call cut? I did not
tell you to stop acting, Urkel.

00:10:41.960 --> 00:10:45.469
Wolf, how many times have I
told you not to call me Urkel?

00:10:45.480 --> 00:10:47.879
My name is Jaleel White, okay?

00:10:47.880 --> 00:10:50.839
Urkel was a character
I played when I was a child!

00:10:50.840 --> 00:10:52.380
(CHUCKLING)

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Okay, Jaleel.
What's the problem?

00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:58.462
You want to know the problem?

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I'm getting nothing
from the chicken.

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He just sits there with
his head slumped over.

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I have no idea
what my motivation is.

00:11:05.680 --> 00:11:07.399
Well, you're a police
officer named Fowl.

00:11:07.400 --> 00:11:08.519
Mmm-hmm.

00:11:08.520 --> 00:11:11.479
Your new partner is a crime-fighting
chicken named Whitaker.

00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:15.719
And your motivation is a nice, fat paycheck
that keeps you from working at McDonald's!

00:11:15.720 --> 00:11:17.909
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

00:11:18.160 --> 00:11:20.759
Watch yourself, Wolf.
Watch yourself.

00:11:20.760 --> 00:11:23.586
No, you watch yourself, pal!

00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:27.759
You're lucky I'm not making you wear
the freaky glasses and suspenders.

00:11:27.760 --> 00:11:32.279
I swear. I was riding Janie's
old bike and some limo hit me.

00:11:32.280 --> 00:11:36.639
They offered me a ride. I must
have forgotten it in there.

00:11:36.640 --> 00:11:38.639
Give us one reason
why should we believe you.

00:11:38.640 --> 00:11:41.307
Because it's true.

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There was some guy in the limo,
Marty something. Maybe he took it.

00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:48.719
What are our options?

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Without the essay, summer school.

00:11:51.880 --> 00:11:54.865
Or summer school.

00:11:58.600 --> 00:12:05.159
Today, students, we are going to learn
about the joys of a special friend

00:12:05.160 --> 00:12:09.385
I like to call "Mr. Semicolon."

00:12:11.400 --> 00:12:14.999
The semicolon was first used in a

00:12:15.000 --> 00:12:17.319
1734 letter to
British Parliament...

00:12:17.320 --> 00:12:18.479
Shh.

00:12:18.480 --> 00:12:23.627
by Mr. Jedediah Wilkinson.

00:12:23.920 --> 00:12:27.039
W-I-L...

00:12:27.040 --> 00:12:28.990
(SNORING)

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Help me.

00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:36.759
Come on, Jason. You must have
made at least one friend.

00:12:36.760 --> 00:12:41.588
Yeah. The kid behind me who kept
flicking boogers at my neck?

00:12:41.720 --> 00:12:44.359
He seemed like a really nice guy.

00:12:44.360 --> 00:12:47.119
I shouldn't even be in
that stupid summer school.

00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:50.230
If it makes you feel better, my
parents are taking an adventure.

00:12:50.280 --> 00:12:52.479
They're going river rafting
in the Grand Canyon.

00:12:52.480 --> 00:12:54.599
But do I get an adventure?
No.

00:12:54.600 --> 00:12:58.905
My big adventure is staying at my
Grandma Pearl's with her toe fungus.

00:12:59.040 --> 00:13:01.279
You can hang out at my place.

00:13:01.280 --> 00:13:05.359
My folks are taking a long weekend at
some health spa for their anniversary.

00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:08.345
It'll just be me and Janie
from Thursday till Sunday.

00:13:12.200 --> 00:13:14.502
<i>MALE ANNOUNCER: In a time</i>

00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:17.184
<i>when a little lie</i>

00:13:17.800 --> 00:13:19.479
<i>can grow bigger</i>

00:13:19.480 --> 00:13:20.639
(THUDDING)

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<i>and bigger,</i>

00:13:22.920 --> 00:13:26.588
<i>one man will pay the price.</i>

00:13:28.160 --> 00:13:31.270
<i>Next summer, people everywhere</i>

00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:35.187
<i>will stop and stare.</i>

00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:39.100
<i>Marty Wolf Pictures presents</i>

00:13:40.560 --> 00:13:41.999
<i>Kenny Trooper,</i>

00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:47.101
<i>the big, fat liar.</i>

00:13:51.160 --> 00:13:53.144
You want to see it?

00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:55.867
See it?
I think I wrote it!

00:13:56.240 --> 00:13:57.639
HARRY: Not that again, Jason.

00:13:57.640 --> 00:13:59.590
JASON: I'm telling you!

00:13:59.760 --> 00:14:01.903
Wait. This is it.

00:14:02.360 --> 00:14:06.759
<i>Big Fat Liar is already being touted
as next summer's must-see movie event.</i>

00:14:06.760 --> 00:14:08.839
<i>I recently talked to Marty Wolf,</i>

00:14:08.840 --> 00:14:11.599
<i>the mastermind behind this
sure-to-be blockbuster.</i>

00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:13.599
That's him.
It's the guy from the limo!

00:14:13.600 --> 00:14:15.519
<i>Where'd you come up with this idea?</i>

00:14:15.520 --> 00:14:19.479
<i>Some ideas you struggle
and struggle with</i>

00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:23.599
<i>but the great ones, well,
they just come to you.</i>

00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:25.599
Yeah, from my backpack, you loser!

00:14:25.600 --> 00:14:27.439
Jason.

00:14:27.440 --> 00:14:28.599
Dad,

00:14:28.600 --> 00:14:32.109
I'm serious.
That guy stole my paper.

00:14:32.120 --> 00:14:34.104
You have to believe me.

00:14:38.680 --> 00:14:40.311
I can't.

00:14:40.640 --> 00:14:43.784
I just don't trust you
right now, Jas.

00:14:49.280 --> 00:14:50.559
Have a nice weekend.

00:14:50.560 --> 00:14:51.919
JANIE: We will.

00:14:51.920 --> 00:14:53.585
CAROL: See you on Sunday.
Have fun.

00:14:54.360 --> 00:14:55.919
HARRY:
Look out for your brother, Janie.

00:14:55.920 --> 00:14:57.599
Bye. Daddy.
Bye-bye.

00:14:57.600 --> 00:14:59.743
JANIE: We'll miss you guys.

00:15:04.200 --> 00:15:05.359
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

00:15:05.360 --> 00:15:06.866
(TIRES SCREECH)

00:15:07.280 --> 00:15:09.423
<i>(HIP-HOP MUSIC BLARING)</i>

00:15:12.320 --> 00:15:14.799
Later. I'm going over to Rudy's.

00:15:14.800 --> 00:15:15.959
Rudy?

00:15:15.960 --> 00:15:17.944
Yo, what's up, dog?

00:15:19.280 --> 00:15:21.105
How you living?

00:15:22.800 --> 00:15:24.239
It's crackin', kid.

00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:25.519
(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)

00:15:25.520 --> 00:15:27.470
Peace out, little G.

00:15:35.680 --> 00:15:37.141
Booyah!

00:15:40.200 --> 00:15:43.879
He's not literally a
catcher eating rye bread.

00:15:43.880 --> 00:15:48.310
It's more of a metaphor for
a state of adolescent angst.

00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:51.639
We need to talk.
I'm tutoring.

00:15:51.640 --> 00:15:53.759
Bet you wish you still
had your skateboard.

00:15:53.760 --> 00:15:54.879
(LAUGHS)

00:15:54.880 --> 00:15:58.184
Let's see.
Fully-developed brain,

00:15:58.360 --> 00:15:59.879
skateboard.

00:15:59.880 --> 00:16:01.199
I think I'll take the brain.

00:16:01.200 --> 00:16:03.343
But I have your skateboard.

00:16:03.920 --> 00:16:06.439
Kaylee, pack your bags.
We're going on a trip.

00:16:06.440 --> 00:16:08.119
KAYLEE:
I can't just go to Los Angeles.

00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:10.599
I can't have my parents
thinking I'm a liar.

00:16:10.600 --> 00:16:11.759
You are a liar.

00:16:11.760 --> 00:16:16.559
In general, that's true. But this time I'm
telling the truth. I wrote that paper.

00:16:16.560 --> 00:16:20.239
I won't rest until Wolf admits he
stole it and my parents know it.

00:16:20.240 --> 00:16:23.020
What are we supposed to do,
walk across the country?

00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:27.239
Three years of yard work and babysitting
money. Our flight leaves in two hours.

00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:30.862
What about my Grandma Pearl?
I'm staying at her house.

00:16:30.920 --> 00:16:33.541
That woman doesn't even
know what year it is.

00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:35.959
You said you wanted an adventure.

00:16:35.960 --> 00:16:40.239
We'll go to LA, I'll get my paper,
and we'll be back before Sunday.

00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:43.464
My grandma will notice if I
don't even show up at all!

00:16:44.200 --> 00:16:46.599
BRET:
Kaylee, have you got a plunger?

00:16:46.600 --> 00:16:50.559
I took a dookie and I clogged up
the toilet! Oh, boy! Oh, no!

00:16:50.560 --> 00:16:51.879
(BRET LAUGHING GOOFILY)

00:16:51.880 --> 00:16:53.545
What a mess.

00:16:56.080 --> 00:16:58.639
KAYLEE: This won't work.
She's not that blind and senile.

00:16:58.640 --> 00:16:59.759
JASON: It'll work.

00:16:59.760 --> 00:17:02.879
If any of my teammates
see me, you're dead.

00:17:02.880 --> 00:17:04.439
We made a deal.

00:17:04.440 --> 00:17:06.902
You want us to do your summer
school homework or not?

00:17:07.120 --> 00:17:10.039
Yeah, it's just that...
It's only a few days.

00:17:10.040 --> 00:17:12.820
And remember to make your
voice sound like a girl's.

00:17:15.360 --> 00:17:17.185
Come on, big fella.

00:17:26.720 --> 00:17:28.279
Who's there?

00:17:28.280 --> 00:17:29.679
I've got a gun.

00:17:29.680 --> 00:17:32.142
It's just Kaylee, Grandma.

00:17:33.320 --> 00:17:34.621
Kaylee?

00:17:35.280 --> 00:17:39.119
You can't be Kaylee.
You've grown so tall.

00:17:39.120 --> 00:17:42.230
And you're so muscular.

00:17:43.400 --> 00:17:44.999
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:47.559
I'm benching like 220, 230.

00:17:47.560 --> 00:17:50.386
Good for you.
Give me a hug.

00:17:52.320 --> 00:17:53.781
Come on.

00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:07.319
<i>WOMAN ON PA: Welcome to Los Angeles
International Airport.</i>

00:18:07.320 --> 00:18:11.181
<i>Airport shuttles are located
outside the baggage claiming area.</i>

00:18:19.560 --> 00:18:20.799
Follow my lead.

00:18:20.800 --> 00:18:22.704
Okay.

00:18:24.880 --> 00:18:26.864
Hi. I'm Mr. Stroog.

00:18:27.480 --> 00:18:29.623
(SNICKERING)

00:18:31.400 --> 00:18:32.559
Are you serious?

00:18:32.560 --> 00:18:33.919
Is there a problem?

00:18:33.920 --> 00:18:35.221
No.

00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:39.719
You're kind of young to be the biggest
fur coat distributor in the Midwest.

00:18:39.720 --> 00:18:43.661
It's a family business. I've been
selling pelts since I was a baby.

00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:46.661
Okay.

00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:49.599
I'm Frank.

00:18:49.600 --> 00:18:52.959
We want to get some sightseeing in
before we cover this town in fur.

00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:54.119
Okay.

00:18:54.120 --> 00:18:58.425
So, this here is a little
place I like to call

00:18:59.800 --> 00:19:02.102
(IN SPANISH ACCENT)
Los Angeles.

00:19:37.800 --> 00:19:40.679
Thanks for the lift, Frank.
We'll take it from here.

00:19:40.680 --> 00:19:45.879
You got it, Mr. Stroog. Look, here's my card.
If you need a ride, give me a shout-out.

00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:47.306
Thanks.

00:19:48.360 --> 00:19:50.119
<i>MAN ON PA:
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.</i>

00:19:50.120 --> 00:19:53.799
<i>This is Ron, your driver. And
I am Arthur, your tour guide.</i>

00:19:53.800 --> 00:19:55.399
So, what's the plan?

00:19:55.400 --> 00:19:59.119
When we get to Wolf's building,
we jump off, infiltrate his office,

00:19:59.120 --> 00:20:01.661
make him admit he stole my story.

00:20:01.840 --> 00:20:06.145
That's it? That's the lamest
plan I've ever heard.

00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:08.303
Trust me, it's going to work.

00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:11.302
<i>So stay tuned.</i>

00:20:13.320 --> 00:20:16.919
<i>Folks, this is the backlot, where
many of our hit movies are made.</i>

00:20:16.920 --> 00:20:20.159
<i>Speaking of movies, in just a
few days we begin filming...</i>

00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:22.303
Come on.
Follow me.

00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:29.679
Excuse me, where is Stage two?

00:20:29.680 --> 00:20:32.142
Security. Let's go.

00:20:50.960 --> 00:20:52.989
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

00:20:55.240 --> 00:20:59.386
Can I take a moment to say
how totally awesome this is?

00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:09.027
(GRUNTING)

00:21:13.200 --> 00:21:14.661
(INAUDIBLE)

00:21:28.160 --> 00:21:29.599
(PHONE RINGS)

00:21:29.600 --> 00:21:35.942
Marty Wolf Pictures.
Please hold.

00:21:36.520 --> 00:21:37.759
Can I help you?

00:21:37.760 --> 00:21:39.599
We're here to see Marty Wolf.

00:21:39.600 --> 00:21:41.629
Do you have an appointment?

00:21:43.000 --> 00:21:44.461
I ask you,

00:21:45.080 --> 00:21:48.199
Astrid, what kind
of sick world is this

00:21:48.200 --> 00:21:51.788
when children need an appointment
to see their own father?

00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:54.504
Mr. Wolf doesn't have children.

00:21:55.600 --> 00:21:57.239
Not that he knows of.

00:21:57.240 --> 00:21:58.519
Shh.

00:21:58.520 --> 00:22:01.759
Look, this will be an emotional
reunion for all of us,

00:22:01.760 --> 00:22:05.639
so once you let us in, probably gonna
want to hold Papa's calls as well.

00:22:05.640 --> 00:22:07.559
Mr. Wolf doesn't see anyone
without an appointment.

00:22:07.560 --> 00:22:08.719
(PHONE RINGING)

00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:11.022
Marty Wolf Pictures.

00:22:11.520 --> 00:22:14.027
No, she stepped away.

00:22:14.200 --> 00:22:17.868
I'd love to take a message.
You got it.

00:22:18.200 --> 00:22:20.025
Well, if you'd slow down, then...

00:22:20.040 --> 00:22:21.959
Help me out.
No.

00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:23.439
Help me out.
No.

00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:24.999
Help me out.
Okay.

00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:26.665
(PHONE RINGING)

00:22:27.160 --> 00:22:30.145
Marty Wolf Pictures.
One moment, please.

00:22:32.600 --> 00:22:35.380
<i>WOMAN: Operator.</i>
Marty Wolf Pictures, please.

00:22:36.120 --> 00:22:37.421
(BARKING)

00:22:38.680 --> 00:22:40.505
(PHONE RINGING)

00:22:41.160 --> 00:22:42.279
Marty Wolf Pictures.

00:22:42.280 --> 00:22:44.359
<i>KAYLEE: Astrid Barker, please.</i>

00:22:44.360 --> 00:22:48.919
This is Doris Del Rio down in parking.
Do you drive a Saturn, ma'am?

00:22:48.920 --> 00:22:50.239
Yes.

00:22:50.240 --> 00:22:51.839
Well, it's...

00:22:51.840 --> 00:22:53.079
Um...

00:22:53.080 --> 00:22:54.399
Parked on a dog.

00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:56.239
I am not going to say that.
Come on.

00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:57.479
Hello?

00:22:57.480 --> 00:23:00.919
Your car is parked on a dog.

00:23:00.920 --> 00:23:04.383
My car is parked on a dog?

00:23:04.440 --> 00:23:08.479
Yes, ma'am. In the tail
area, to be more specific.

00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:11.863
(GAGGING)
It's gruesome. Listen for yourself.

00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:14.269
(YELPING)

00:23:15.840 --> 00:23:17.585
(RETCHING)

00:23:19.040 --> 00:23:22.344
Hang on. I'm coming!
Don't die!

00:23:22.680 --> 00:23:26.871
Just stay. Keep breathing.
Think of a happy place.

00:23:30.440 --> 00:23:34.426
Keep a lookout. I'm sure this thing
will be over in just a few minutes.

00:23:35.240 --> 00:23:37.542
(PHONE RINGING)

00:23:46.320 --> 00:23:49.319
Marty Wolf Pictures.
Can I take a message?

00:23:49.320 --> 00:23:52.146
Mr. Wolf is about
to go into a meeting.

00:23:52.680 --> 00:23:54.061
Uh-huh.

00:23:54.800 --> 00:23:57.102
Sandier.

00:23:57.880 --> 00:24:01.479
MARTY: We're not just looking for
my personal organizer, Monty.

00:24:01.480 --> 00:24:04.719
That thing is my life! If you
lost it, then you've killed me.

00:24:04.720 --> 00:24:09.025
Draw a line of chalk around
me, baby, because I am dead!

00:24:09.160 --> 00:24:10.439
MONTY: I understand that!

00:24:10.440 --> 00:24:11.559
No, you don't.

00:24:11.560 --> 00:24:14.159
You always say that.
No, you don't.

00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:16.159
Did you check your jacket pocket?

00:24:16.160 --> 00:24:17.999
Do I look like a moron?

00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:20.599
No, it's just if you
remember that one time...

00:24:20.600 --> 00:24:22.519
Fine, Monty. Fine.

00:24:22.520 --> 00:24:25.983
If it'll make you happy,
I'll check my jacket pocket.

00:24:28.480 --> 00:24:30.020
It's in there.

00:24:33.000 --> 00:24:34.540
(SIGHS WITH RELIEF)

00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:36.347
Hello?

00:24:36.760 --> 00:24:38.903
Excuse me. How's it going?

00:24:38.920 --> 00:24:40.479
Who are you?

00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:44.102
Jason Shepherd. Remember me?
I wrote <i>Big Fat Liar.</i>

00:24:46.520 --> 00:24:47.719
Uh...

00:24:47.720 --> 00:24:49.306
(CHUCKLES)

00:24:49.520 --> 00:24:51.982
Monty, hold my calls.

00:24:52.200 --> 00:24:57.347
Give me a few minutes alone
here with Mr. Shepherd.

00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:09.502
Well, well, well.

00:25:09.560 --> 00:25:14.343
Jason Shepherd. The young man
from Greenbury, Michigan.

00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:17.863
I must tell you,
this is quite a surprise.

00:25:18.040 --> 00:25:19.719
What can I do for you?

00:25:19.720 --> 00:25:22.559
Call my dad and tell him you
stole the story from me.

00:25:22.560 --> 00:25:25.340
Call your dad? Why?

00:25:25.360 --> 00:25:28.399
It's the truth and you're
the only one he'll believe.

00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:30.639
You traveled halfway
across the country

00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:33.639
to have me tell your dad
you did your homework?

00:25:33.640 --> 00:25:36.830
Make that phone call, and you'll
never hear from me again.

00:25:41.720 --> 00:25:42.919
(BANGS TABLE)

00:25:42.920 --> 00:25:44.919
Okay.
Really?

00:25:44.920 --> 00:25:46.381
Yes.

00:25:50.080 --> 00:25:54.399
It's a great piece of work, kid.
And I'm not just blowing smoke.

00:25:54.400 --> 00:25:57.439
I refer back to it whenever I
get in a bind on the script.

00:25:57.440 --> 00:25:59.981
You'll return it to me
and make the call?

00:26:00.120 --> 00:26:04.744
You gave me my movie, Shepherd. It's
the very least I can do for you.

00:26:06.480 --> 00:26:07.959
You smoke cigars, hot shot?

00:26:07.960 --> 00:26:10.039
I'm 14, Wolf.

00:26:10.040 --> 00:26:11.671
Suit yourself.

00:26:14.280 --> 00:26:17.345
Jason Shepherd of
Greenbury, Michigan,

00:26:20.200 --> 00:26:22.741
it was a pleasure
doing business with you.

00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:24.119
Oh!
No!

00:26:24.120 --> 00:26:25.639
What have I done?

00:26:25.640 --> 00:26:26.879
(EXCLAIMING)

00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:30.980
Stand back, son. Let me try and
stamp it out with this lit cigar.

00:26:31.480 --> 00:26:33.942
I seem to be making matters worse.

00:26:34.520 --> 00:26:35.981
(EXCLAIMS)

00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:37.984
Good move, Smoky!

00:26:39.960 --> 00:26:42.069
Hold on! Help is on the way.

00:26:42.720 --> 00:26:44.465
Stand back!

00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:47.506
(EXCLAIMS)

00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:55.919
You're sick! All I wanted you to do was
to tell my dad I wrote that paper!

00:26:55.920 --> 00:27:00.679
Or what? You'd shoot me with a spitball?
Give me a wedgie?

00:27:00.680 --> 00:27:05.279
Grow up! This is Hollywood, baby.
It's a dog-eat-dog town.

00:27:05.280 --> 00:27:07.239
Worse. We got cats eating cats.

00:27:07.240 --> 00:27:11.909
We got fish munching fish.
We play by our own rules.

00:27:13.840 --> 00:27:16.599
I'm not leaving until
you make that call!

00:27:16.600 --> 00:27:19.062
I'll make a call, all right.

00:27:19.720 --> 00:27:20.999
<i>ROCCO: Malone speaking.</i>

00:27:21.000 --> 00:27:22.399
Rocco, this is the Wolf.

00:27:22.400 --> 00:27:25.021
Send some of your boys
down here. I got a Code W.

00:27:25.200 --> 00:27:29.346
Another angry writer refusing
to leave. Wolf out.

00:27:31.360 --> 00:27:34.039
I tried to play fair, Wolf,
but you asked for it!

00:27:34.040 --> 00:27:35.359
(IMITATES NERVOUS CHUCKLE)

00:27:35.360 --> 00:27:37.959
You don't know who
you're messing with!

00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:39.307
Come on!

00:27:40.040 --> 00:27:43.822
Thanks for holding. Can you
spell Soderbergh for me?

00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:48.504
Thanks, Steven.
I'll have Mr. Wolf return.

00:27:48.560 --> 00:27:50.359
Marty Wolf Pictures.

00:27:50.360 --> 00:27:53.869
You don't understand!
Let go!

00:27:54.040 --> 00:27:55.865
It was my idea!

00:27:56.040 --> 00:27:59.759
And I wrote <i>The Nutty Professor.</i>
I've heard it all before.

00:27:59.760 --> 00:28:01.199
JASON: Get off me!

00:28:01.200 --> 00:28:02.559
Hi.

00:28:02.560 --> 00:28:06.159
Hi, Astrid. Adam Sandier
called to set up a lunch.

00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:10.101
I sent flowers to Meg Ryan because she
sounded like she had a little cold.

00:28:10.320 --> 00:28:13.719
And I scheduled a deep body
massage for you at 3:00.

00:28:13.720 --> 00:28:16.546
You look like you could
use a little "you" time.

00:28:21.240 --> 00:28:22.799
Thank you, kind stranger.

00:28:22.800 --> 00:28:26.946
What can I say? This is Hollywood,
Kaylee. It's a fish-eat-fish town.

00:28:27.480 --> 00:28:29.679
They play by their
own rules out here!

00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:32.119
Does that mean we're going home?

00:28:32.120 --> 00:28:34.468
As soon as Wolf admits
he stole my story.

00:28:34.520 --> 00:28:35.999
I'm not trying to be negative,

00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:39.319
but didn't we just find out
Wolf isn't going to admit that?

00:28:39.320 --> 00:28:40.439
He'll do it.

00:28:40.440 --> 00:28:41.519
How?

00:28:41.520 --> 00:28:44.061
Because I have his life
in the palm of my hand.

00:28:44.080 --> 00:28:46.747
Great. So we're stealing now?

00:28:46.840 --> 00:28:48.759
We're not stealing, we're borrowing.

00:28:48.760 --> 00:28:53.119
I have Wolf's alarm codes, credit
card numbers, his schedule.

00:28:53.120 --> 00:28:54.159
So?

00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:56.199
So, this is awesome.

00:28:56.200 --> 00:28:59.359
In a day, I'll figure out how
to use this info against him.

00:28:59.360 --> 00:29:01.264
I don't know, Jas.

00:29:02.040 --> 00:29:04.820
I can't go home until
my dad knows the truth.

00:29:04.960 --> 00:29:08.742
If you saw how he looked at me.
It was like...

00:29:09.640 --> 00:29:13.103
I don't know, like I
wasn't his kid anymore.

00:29:19.800 --> 00:29:23.422
Do you think your plan might
include food and a place to sleep?

00:29:26.040 --> 00:29:28.468
The guard!
Let's get out of here.

00:29:35.360 --> 00:29:37.788
JASON:
Let's check out that warehouse.

00:29:58.840 --> 00:30:01.541
Looks like we found
our temporary home.

00:30:06.360 --> 00:30:08.662
KAYLEE: Look at all this stuff.

00:30:25.040 --> 00:30:28.759
JASON: All right, Kaylee. We'll need
clothes and supplies. Let's hunker down

00:30:28.760 --> 00:30:32.064
until the law dogs leave, then
start racking up the merch.

00:30:32.080 --> 00:30:34.223
What are you talking about?

00:30:34.720 --> 00:30:39.230
We stay here until closing
time, then we go shopping.

00:31:50.840 --> 00:31:52.744
(TAPPING)

00:31:57.680 --> 00:31:59.027
Jas?

00:31:59.120 --> 00:32:00.945
I'm at the beach!

00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:04.639
Frank? Mr. Stroog. Meet us
at the studio gate in 20.

00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:05.941
Hey.

00:32:07.520 --> 00:32:08.919
What's with the Cokes?

00:32:08.920 --> 00:32:11.319
The machine, it's
great, they're free.

00:32:11.320 --> 00:32:13.110
(HYSTERICALLY)
They're free.

00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:15.426
(CHUCKLES)

00:32:19.320 --> 00:32:21.622
Good morning, Frank.
Let's get moving.

00:32:21.640 --> 00:32:23.942
We've got furs to sell.

00:32:27.640 --> 00:32:31.039
Fur coat king of the
Midwest, my butt!

00:32:31.040 --> 00:32:35.345
I got some R-rated dialogue
for you, but I'll keep it PG.

00:32:35.480 --> 00:32:39.785
You owe me $100
for yesterday's ride.

00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:43.304
(STAMMERING)
You almost cost me my job.

00:32:43.320 --> 00:32:44.639
I'm sorry.
I can explain.

00:32:44.640 --> 00:32:45.959
(GIBBERING)

00:32:45.960 --> 00:32:47.119
Hear that?

00:32:47.120 --> 00:32:48.839
(GIBBERING CONTINUES)

00:32:48.840 --> 00:32:51.599
If we could...
I don't want to hear it, okay?

00:32:51.600 --> 00:32:52.719
(GIBBERING)

00:32:52.720 --> 00:32:55.182
(STAMMERING)

00:32:59.720 --> 00:33:03.706
I'm sorry. We came here to get
even with this guy, Marty Wolf.

00:33:03.880 --> 00:33:07.199
He stole my story
and he's making it into...

00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:08.279
Did you just say "Marty Wolf"?

00:33:08.280 --> 00:33:09.519
You know him?

00:33:09.520 --> 00:33:12.999
I used to drive him.
He fired me last year.

00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:14.079
Why?

00:33:14.080 --> 00:33:15.506
I'm an actor. See?

00:33:16.480 --> 00:33:20.039
I asked him if I could audition
for one of his movies.

00:33:20.040 --> 00:33:23.919
He could have just said no.
Instead, he takes my headshot,

00:33:23.920 --> 00:33:26.599
writes "loser" across my forehead,

00:33:26.600 --> 00:33:29.719
and faxes it to every
casting director in town.

00:33:29.720 --> 00:33:31.239
You poor thing.

00:33:31.240 --> 00:33:34.908
If you want to mess with
Wolf, I got your back.

00:33:37.240 --> 00:33:39.907
<i>JASON: Today, it's know the enemy.</i>

00:33:55.120 --> 00:33:56.751
Right on schedule.

00:33:56.880 --> 00:33:59.279
<i>MARTY:
We begin production in two days.</i>

00:33:59.280 --> 00:34:02.982
Dusty! El director!
First up's the big stunt.

00:34:03.120 --> 00:34:06.799
I want to blow them away at the start!
Hit me, kiddo.

00:34:06.800 --> 00:34:08.559
Rock and roll, baby.
I am ready to party.

00:34:08.560 --> 00:34:09.839
(EXCLAIMS)

00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:10.959
(IMITATES HORSE NEIGHING)

00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:14.039
We open.
Twelve different camera angles.

00:34:14.040 --> 00:34:17.787
Smoke ascending from the
streets of the city. Kastang!

00:34:17.800 --> 00:34:19.879
Birds descending from the heavens,

00:34:19.880 --> 00:34:23.159
like winged messengers
from above, beckoning.

00:34:23.160 --> 00:34:25.462
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:28.599
Confucius say, "Easy does it," skippy.

00:34:28.600 --> 00:34:32.268
I can barely afford one camera,
let alone 12. And no birds.

00:34:32.840 --> 00:34:34.710
Monty! Talk to me about the budget!

00:34:36.160 --> 00:34:41.079
We're $2 million over, and the studio
hasn't approved the new budget.

00:34:41.080 --> 00:34:42.999
When are they supposed to do that?

00:34:43.000 --> 00:34:47.589
Tomorrow morning. You have a breakfast
meeting at Marcus Duncan's house.

00:34:48.080 --> 00:34:50.599
(MOCKINGLY) A breakfast meeting at
Marcus Duncan's house.

00:34:50.600 --> 00:34:54.519
Tell our little "vice president" he
can drag his sorry butt to my place

00:34:54.520 --> 00:34:56.999
if he wants to talk
to the Wolf Man.

00:34:57.000 --> 00:34:59.302
Actually, sir,

00:34:59.360 --> 00:35:02.140
he's not the V.P. anymore.

00:35:03.520 --> 00:35:05.345
He's the president.

00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:12.744
I see.

00:35:14.200 --> 00:35:17.344
Get his address, then.
We don't want to be late, do we?

00:35:18.200 --> 00:35:19.501
Next!

00:35:19.600 --> 00:35:23.039
For a big movie,
you need a big stunt.

00:35:23.040 --> 00:35:26.359
For a big stunt, you need
serious media coverage.

00:35:26.360 --> 00:35:30.559
I'm talking TV, print,
that Internet crap. Everything.

00:35:30.560 --> 00:35:31.639
Who's handling that?

00:35:31.640 --> 00:35:34.671
I am. Jocelyn Davis,
Senior V.P. of Publicity.

00:35:35.200 --> 00:35:38.026
Sure you're not
Senior V.P. of Twinkies?

00:35:39.560 --> 00:35:41.191
MARTY: Funny.

00:35:43.240 --> 00:35:45.879
I'll make sure the
shoot is well-covered.

00:35:45.880 --> 00:35:50.629
Terrific! Okay, people, meeting's over.
What's next, Monty?

00:35:55.240 --> 00:35:56.541
Cool.

00:35:56.920 --> 00:35:59.063
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
12:30, stunt demonstration.

00:36:00.040 --> 00:36:01.399
What do you think, Marty?

00:36:01.400 --> 00:36:04.199
Perfect!
What'd you think, Dusty?

00:36:04.200 --> 00:36:05.399
Loved it!

00:36:05.400 --> 00:36:09.386
Actually, I think I liked it
better the first time I saw it,

00:36:09.400 --> 00:36:12.749
in 1942, you dinosaur!

00:36:13.120 --> 00:36:16.759
Vince, meet my new effects
whiz, Lester Golub.

00:36:16.760 --> 00:36:18.279
(SHUSHING)
A pleasure to meet...

00:36:18.280 --> 00:36:21.039
Lester is going to design
the stunt on his iBook.

00:36:21.040 --> 00:36:23.759
Your stunt guy will do whatever
the computer tells him.

00:36:23.760 --> 00:36:25.799
I don't need a
computer to do my job.

00:36:25.800 --> 00:36:29.279
Geek boy, ignore Father Time
over here and get working.

00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:32.479
From the looks of you, I'm sure
you don't have a social life.

00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:36.102
You two get together tomorrow
to finalize the details.

00:36:36.280 --> 00:36:39.584
I'm off tomorrow. I'm
taking a personal day.

00:36:40.800 --> 00:36:45.279
What was that? Personal day? What
are you talking about, Vince?

00:36:45.280 --> 00:36:48.424
I'm taking my granddaughter
to a birthday party.

00:36:49.440 --> 00:36:50.759
Oh...

00:36:50.760 --> 00:36:52.391
May I?
Sure.

00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:55.102
That's great.
Look at that.

00:36:56.160 --> 00:36:58.639
The crazy hair. Man.

00:36:58.640 --> 00:37:00.119
(EXCLAIMING)

00:37:00.120 --> 00:37:01.479
(WHOOPING)

00:37:01.480 --> 00:37:02.959
Oh, man. That's fun.

00:37:02.960 --> 00:37:06.787
See, this is the movie business, grandpa!
The talkies, you know?

00:37:06.960 --> 00:37:11.629
You can take your personal day in
a year or two, when you're dead!

00:37:15.640 --> 00:37:19.945
JASON: Today we learned we're officially
dealing with the meanest man alive!

00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:21.639
All right, colored dye.

00:37:21.640 --> 00:37:22.999
Check.

00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:24.199
MegaGlue.

00:37:24.200 --> 00:37:26.025
Check.

00:37:28.520 --> 00:37:30.265
Oh, my God.

00:37:30.480 --> 00:37:32.111
Grandma Pearl.

00:37:33.040 --> 00:37:35.119
Bret must be in a
living hell right now.

00:37:35.120 --> 00:37:36.751
(GROANING)

00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:41.143
How many more, Kaylee?

00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:44.664
Fifty. I gotta get ripped, baby!

00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:48.239
Yeah. Yeah.
Feel the burn!

00:37:48.240 --> 00:37:49.359
(GRUNTING)

00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:52.504
I'm the best, baby!
I'm the best!

00:37:53.200 --> 00:37:57.505
You know, Grandma, you should think
about getting into shape yourself.

00:37:58.200 --> 00:38:01.185
One more, Grandma!
One more!

00:38:01.200 --> 00:38:06.188
It's all you! I ain't helping!
Last one! Yeah!

00:38:09.360 --> 00:38:11.503
(PHONE RINGING)

00:38:15.720 --> 00:38:17.510
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

00:38:22.600 --> 00:38:24.345
Hello.
Hi, Jas.

00:38:24.400 --> 00:38:25.701
Hey, Dad.

00:38:25.720 --> 00:38:27.999
<i>Just called to see
how you were doing.</i>

00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:30.639
I'm doing good.
Staying out of trouble.

00:38:30.640 --> 00:38:31.879
(MACHINE CLANGING)

00:38:31.880 --> 00:38:33.239
What's that noise?

00:38:33.240 --> 00:38:35.623
I'm doing an experiment
for science class,

00:38:35.624 --> 00:38:38.199
it's this thing with
ball bearings and bells.

00:38:38.200 --> 00:38:39.439
Sounds good.

00:38:39.440 --> 00:38:42.559
I just called because you looked
pretty upset when we left.

00:38:42.560 --> 00:38:44.544
<i>Yeah, well, about that, Dad.</i>

00:38:44.600 --> 00:38:48.439
I totally get what you said
about the whole trust thing.

00:38:48.440 --> 00:38:52.904
And when you get back, you'll see I've
been trying really hard to earn it.

00:38:53.040 --> 00:38:54.279
Glad to hear it, pal.

00:38:54.280 --> 00:38:56.503
Good night, Dad.
Good night.

00:38:57.480 --> 00:38:59.599
Call forwarding, got to love it.

00:38:59.600 --> 00:39:01.239
You really think this will work?

00:39:01.240 --> 00:39:03.349
One day.
That's all it'll take.

00:39:03.440 --> 00:39:05.742
Wolf won't know what hit him.

00:39:06.280 --> 00:39:08.742
Jas? A little help here.

00:39:12.600 --> 00:39:14.159
Will your parents call?

00:39:14.160 --> 00:39:16.759
They're in the middle of a canyon.
There's no phones.

00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:19.586
Thanks for coming out here with me.

00:39:19.800 --> 00:39:21.943
I came for the adventure, remember?

00:39:22.440 --> 00:39:23.741
Right.

00:39:24.120 --> 00:39:27.583
Let's get some sleep.
Tomorrow we launch Phase Two.

00:39:28.440 --> 00:39:29.866
KAYLEE: Whoa!

00:39:43.920 --> 00:39:46.029
(ALARM CLOCK BEEPING)

00:39:47.120 --> 00:39:49.787
It's showtime, Mr. Funnybones.

00:39:53.160 --> 00:39:54.319
(CHUCKLING)

00:39:54.320 --> 00:39:56.782
You cute little monkey, you.

00:39:57.200 --> 00:39:59.025
(IMITATING MONKEY)

00:40:04.160 --> 00:40:05.791
Look out!

00:40:06.480 --> 00:40:08.039
(EXCLAIMING)

00:40:08.040 --> 00:40:10.519
(IN HIGH VOICE) Cut it out, Marty!
Hey, that kills, Marty!

00:40:10.520 --> 00:40:12.151
(CHORTLES)

00:40:37.240 --> 00:40:38.951
MARTY: Hungry!

00:40:39.080 --> 00:40:41.542
<i>(SNAPPY POP MUSIC PLAYING)</i>

00:41:15.720 --> 00:41:18.705
Mr. Earpiece, meet Miss MegaGlue.

00:41:46.240 --> 00:41:47.587
(WHOOPS)

00:41:53.680 --> 00:41:55.106
(GROWLS)

00:41:57.600 --> 00:42:00.221
Let's dance, Funnybones!

00:42:00.240 --> 00:42:01.746
(WHOOPING)

00:42:33.160 --> 00:42:35.679
Oh, my God!

00:42:35.680 --> 00:42:39.223
(SCREAMING)

00:42:43.400 --> 00:42:45.464
(PHONE RINGS)

00:42:46.040 --> 00:42:48.319
Marty Wolf Pictures.
This is Monty.

00:42:48.320 --> 00:42:51.319
Monty! Charisma from
Marcus Duncan's office.

00:42:51.320 --> 00:42:53.319
<i>I'm temping for
his second assistant.</i>

00:42:53.320 --> 00:42:57.719
I'm so psyched you're there, cookie.
I was watching Charmed last night,

00:42:57.720 --> 00:43:01.359
<i>and just as Alyssa Milano put a
spell on her cute demon boyfriend,</i>

00:43:01.360 --> 00:43:06.719
I had the biggest panic attack that I
forgot to give you Duncan's new address.

00:43:06.720 --> 00:43:09.500
I didn't know he moved.
That was quick.

00:43:09.520 --> 00:43:13.279
Yeah, in a big way. He
bought like the sickest pad

00:43:13.280 --> 00:43:16.319
in the 90210.
We're talking mondo bucks.

00:43:16.320 --> 00:43:17.519
(AFFECTED LAUGHTER)

00:43:17.520 --> 00:43:21.359
Anyhoo, tell Mr. Wolf
that Duncan lives at

00:43:21.360 --> 00:43:24.311
867 North Maple Drive.

00:43:24.520 --> 00:43:26.504
All right.
Thanks. Got it.

00:43:27.360 --> 00:43:29.071
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

00:43:29.960 --> 00:43:31.261
What?

00:43:31.280 --> 00:43:34.439
It's Monty. I'm glad I caught you.
Duncan moved.

00:43:34.440 --> 00:43:39.719
Cancel the meeting. Get a makeup chick to
meet me at the office. It's an emergency.

00:43:39.720 --> 00:43:41.670
No, you cannot cancel the meeting.

00:43:41.720 --> 00:43:45.359
If he doesn't approve the new budget
we can't start shooting tomorrow.

00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:46.719
(LAUGHS)

00:43:46.720 --> 00:43:51.039
I don't think you understand.
I'm blue.

00:43:51.040 --> 00:43:54.503
Come on, now.
We all have our off days.

00:43:56.200 --> 00:43:58.867
No, I mean I'm literally...

00:43:59.880 --> 00:44:01.864
And I've got orange...

00:44:02.240 --> 00:44:03.919
(GRUNTS)

00:44:03.920 --> 00:44:05.239
<i>Come on, Wolf Man.</i>

00:44:05.240 --> 00:44:10.228
Forget it. Give me his address.
I'll figure something out.

00:44:10.240 --> 00:44:12.079
867 North Maple.

00:44:12.080 --> 00:44:13.541
Copy that.

00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:17.079
You come up with
an ending for the script?

00:44:17.080 --> 00:44:21.385
I'm working on it. I'm headed across
the lot now to do some research.

00:44:21.400 --> 00:44:24.226
But I could use
a little help, Marty.

00:44:24.320 --> 00:44:27.079
I'm writing and producing
a major motion picture.

00:44:27.080 --> 00:44:30.879
I don't have time to work on
the script! That's your job.

00:44:30.880 --> 00:44:32.799
<i>Now stop wasting time
and get to work!</i>

00:44:32.800 --> 00:44:36.229
I'm 24 hours away from the most
important shoot of my career!

00:44:37.000 --> 00:44:38.461
(EXCLAIMS)

00:44:39.400 --> 00:44:40.826
(HORN BLARING)

00:44:41.600 --> 00:44:43.439
Get glasses, grandma!

00:44:43.440 --> 00:44:45.230
Up yours, blue boy!

00:44:45.600 --> 00:44:46.981
(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)

00:44:57.720 --> 00:44:59.545
(CAR LOCK CHIRPS)

00:45:04.400 --> 00:45:05.986
(KNOCKING)

00:45:07.760 --> 00:45:09.359
Yeah, I'm...

00:45:09.360 --> 00:45:10.719
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

00:45:10.720 --> 00:45:12.260
Uh-huh.

00:45:31.320 --> 00:45:32.879
Got the alarm codes?

00:45:32.880 --> 00:45:34.839
(CAR LOCK CHIRPS)
I'm all over it.

00:45:34.840 --> 00:45:36.949
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

00:45:39.320 --> 00:45:42.305
Sister, I invented the word "rough."

00:45:42.360 --> 00:45:45.999
He'll be eating sugar cubes out of
my hand when I'm finished with him.

00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:47.919
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

00:45:47.920 --> 00:45:49.551
Right.

00:45:53.200 --> 00:45:54.519
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

00:45:54.520 --> 00:45:56.151
What the...

00:45:56.520 --> 00:45:57.981
The clown!

00:45:58.320 --> 00:45:59.999
Let's hurt him!

00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:01.359
(SCREAMING)

00:46:01.360 --> 00:46:02.991
Excuse me...

00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:07.359
I need backup!

00:46:07.360 --> 00:46:09.039
BOY: Incoming!

00:46:09.040 --> 00:46:10.990
(ALL YELLING)

00:46:13.040 --> 00:46:15.741
I'm a very powerful
Hollywood producer!

00:46:19.520 --> 00:46:21.504
What am I doing here?

00:46:21.520 --> 00:46:23.982
Don't touch that.
Don't touch.

00:46:24.360 --> 00:46:27.719
You kids are all gonna be
hearing from my lawyer!

00:46:27.720 --> 00:46:29.199
Don't let him get away!

00:46:29.200 --> 00:46:30.759
Get off of me!

00:46:30.760 --> 00:46:33.904
You want to dance, kid?
Let's dance!

00:46:34.040 --> 00:46:38.199
(SCREAMING)
You want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me?

00:46:38.200 --> 00:46:41.185
You're going down, clown!
You're going down.

00:46:41.200 --> 00:46:45.789
Bring it! I'm Marty Wolf!
Do you have any idea who I am?

00:46:45.880 --> 00:46:47.705
Come on, four eyes!

00:46:47.960 --> 00:46:49.386
(GRUNTING)

00:46:51.240 --> 00:46:52.399
Hey!

00:46:52.400 --> 00:46:54.479
Heads up, clown!

00:46:54.480 --> 00:46:56.199
(SCREAMING)

00:46:56.200 --> 00:46:57.945
(YELLING)

00:47:01.920 --> 00:47:04.541
BOY: You're not even funny, clown!

00:47:08.160 --> 00:47:09.479
<i>(CELL PHONE RINGS)</i>

00:47:09.480 --> 00:47:11.919
MONTY: Hello?
Where the hell did you send me?

00:47:11.920 --> 00:47:13.799
<i>Because it sure wasn't
Duncan's house!</i>

00:47:13.800 --> 00:47:15.399
How was I supposed to know?

00:47:15.400 --> 00:47:19.750
Don't speak, just listen. You've got
to get me in there with Duncan!

00:47:19.880 --> 00:47:21.599
<i>I'll just reschedule
the meeting, Marty!</i>

00:47:21.600 --> 00:47:22.759
Jeez!

00:47:22.760 --> 00:47:26.064
Okay, that's all you had to say.

00:47:26.280 --> 00:47:28.025
Adiós, <i>sugarpuff.</i>

00:47:29.120 --> 00:47:30.501
(SNARLS)

00:47:34.280 --> 00:47:35.439
(CAR HORN BLARING)

00:47:35.440 --> 00:47:37.119
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

00:47:37.120 --> 00:47:38.751
(BLARING STOPS)
What the...

00:47:39.120 --> 00:47:40.706
(HORN TOOTING)

00:47:43.040 --> 00:47:45.342
(POP MUSIC BLARING ON RADIO)

00:47:49.280 --> 00:47:51.423
(EXCLAIMING)

00:47:52.120 --> 00:47:53.626
Stop!

00:47:54.840 --> 00:47:56.359
(CAR ALARM BLARING)

00:47:56.360 --> 00:47:57.799
(SIREN WAILING)

00:47:57.800 --> 00:47:59.864
(EXCLAIMING)

00:48:00.600 --> 00:48:02.265
(CAR HORN HONKS)

00:48:04.160 --> 00:48:07.464
Marty, I like your new coloring.
It works for you.

00:48:08.960 --> 00:48:10.519
You did this?

00:48:10.520 --> 00:48:12.639
Yes. And it can end anytime.

00:48:12.640 --> 00:48:15.466
All you have to do is make
one phone call to my dad.

00:48:15.680 --> 00:48:20.827
It shouldn't be much of a problem, since
that headset is superglued to your ear.

00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:23.950
Here's my dad's number.

00:48:27.280 --> 00:48:28.945
Hiya!

00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:31.870
Call me.
Bye-bye.

00:48:34.840 --> 00:48:36.719
Rotten kids!

00:48:36.720 --> 00:48:38.039
(HORN BLARING)

00:48:38.040 --> 00:48:39.865
(CAR ALARM BLARING)

00:48:46.000 --> 00:48:47.984
Shepherd!

00:48:54.840 --> 00:48:56.665
(EXCLAIMING)

00:48:58.680 --> 00:49:00.869
(CAR HORN BLARING)

00:49:07.240 --> 00:49:08.999
(CAR ALARM CONTINUES BLARING)

00:49:09.000 --> 00:49:10.631
(SIGHS)

00:49:11.360 --> 00:49:12.741
(EXCLAIMS)

00:49:19.480 --> 00:49:21.191
(CAR LOCK CHIRPS)

00:49:24.520 --> 00:49:27.199
Oh, my God!
I'm going to kill you!

00:49:27.200 --> 00:49:32.039
Take it easy, man. it wasn't my fault.
The old bag rear-ended me.

00:49:32.040 --> 00:49:33.759
Eat my bloomers, blue boy!

00:49:33.760 --> 00:49:38.239
Very nice. That's really charming,
from a woman of your advanced years.

00:49:38.240 --> 00:49:39.871
Have a nice day!

00:49:41.320 --> 00:49:43.861
It's just the tire.
You'll pay for this!

00:49:44.080 --> 00:49:46.399
All right, listen, Masher,

00:49:46.400 --> 00:49:50.159
I'm sure we can come
to some arrangement.

00:49:50.160 --> 00:49:52.303
<i>(HEAVY METAL MUSIC BLARING)</i>

00:49:52.400 --> 00:49:55.101
Yeah, that's what
I thought, tough guy!

00:50:02.760 --> 00:50:04.710
Who's the tough guy now, pal?

00:50:08.600 --> 00:50:10.390
Oh, no. Come on.

00:50:11.120 --> 00:50:12.759
No, dude.

00:50:12.760 --> 00:50:14.919
Back off, man!
No way!

00:50:14.920 --> 00:50:17.666
(WAILING)

00:50:20.440 --> 00:50:22.424
Two meetings in a row, Monty.

00:50:23.360 --> 00:50:26.759
This is not the way to get on
the new president's good side.

00:50:26.760 --> 00:50:28.425
I'm sorry, sir.

00:50:28.680 --> 00:50:31.745
I'm sure there must
be some explanation.

00:50:35.400 --> 00:50:38.101
They told me to pick up
a little blue car.

00:50:39.280 --> 00:50:42.106
They didn't say anything
about a little blue man.

00:50:42.200 --> 00:50:44.548
(LAUGHING)

00:50:47.080 --> 00:50:48.870
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

00:50:49.240 --> 00:50:50.479
You got the Wolf.

00:50:50.480 --> 00:50:54.262
Where are you? I am at
Duncan's office right now!

00:50:54.320 --> 00:50:55.781
I'm...

00:50:56.240 --> 00:51:00.479
I'm not going to make it. Tell him
it's your fault and reschedule.

00:51:00.480 --> 00:51:03.799
I'm not going to lie to the new
president of the studio, Marty.

00:51:03.800 --> 00:51:05.799
Don't get all high
and mighty on me.

00:51:05.800 --> 00:51:10.999
Because if I go down, you're riding shotgun,
Tootsie Roll. Now make something up.

00:51:11.000 --> 00:51:13.479
I'll smooth things over
with him at the premiere.

00:51:13.480 --> 00:51:15.589
Fine.
Wolf out.

00:51:16.920 --> 00:51:20.479
<i>Hi, everybody. I'm Pat O'Brien
and welcome to Tinseltown.</i>

00:51:20.480 --> 00:51:22.919
<i>Here we are again, this time at</i>

00:51:22.920 --> 00:51:27.839
<i>the world premiere of Marty Wolf's
action-comedy, Whitaker and Fowl.</i>

00:51:27.840 --> 00:51:30.239
This must be a very
exciting evening for you.

00:51:30.240 --> 00:51:32.919
Yes. It's just good to
get the past behind me,

00:51:32.920 --> 00:51:35.799
and finally be taken
seriously as an actor.

00:51:35.800 --> 00:51:37.359
Can I give a shout-out?

00:51:37.360 --> 00:51:39.230
Oh, God, it's the chicken!

00:51:39.400 --> 00:51:41.350
(CLUCKING)

00:51:42.160 --> 00:51:44.144
(CLAMORING)

00:51:46.200 --> 00:51:49.119
<i>It looks like all of Hollywood
has turned out for this one.</i>

00:51:49.120 --> 00:51:52.629
<i>But the question is,
where is Marty Wolf?</i>

00:51:58.040 --> 00:51:59.879
WOMAN: Sweet Moses, what is that?

00:51:59.880 --> 00:52:01.439
MAN: Don't look in his eyes.

00:52:01.440 --> 00:52:03.185
(CROWD CHEERING)

00:52:05.160 --> 00:52:06.871
(EXCLAIMS)
Hey there, Marty.

00:52:09.880 --> 00:52:12.023
Ready to end this?

00:52:12.160 --> 00:52:13.950
(CHORTLING)

00:52:14.880 --> 00:52:19.039
Kid, you have no idea
who you are dealing with.

00:52:19.040 --> 00:52:21.399
You think I care about
a couple of little pranks?

00:52:21.400 --> 00:52:22.679
Nah.

00:52:22.680 --> 00:52:24.359
(LAUGHS)

00:52:24.360 --> 00:52:26.310
See you around, Shep.

00:52:30.840 --> 00:52:32.869
(DIALING CELL PHONE)

00:52:33.720 --> 00:52:35.749
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

00:52:37.920 --> 00:52:38.999
Hello.

00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:40.639
This is J-Dog calling K-Bird.

00:52:40.640 --> 00:52:41.919
<i>J-Dog calling K-Bird.</i>

00:52:41.920 --> 00:52:43.399
Jas, is that you?

00:52:43.400 --> 00:52:48.388
I'm using code names. Wolf didn't throw in
the towel. We're moving to Phase Three.

00:52:48.480 --> 00:52:50.020
What's Phase Three?

00:52:50.080 --> 00:52:52.519
We're going to our first
Hollywood soirée.

00:52:52.520 --> 00:52:55.141
<i>(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)</i>

00:52:55.680 --> 00:52:59.559
I don't know what you think, but all
of a sudden, it's like bam! Bad movie!

00:52:59.560 --> 00:53:01.319
Can you say boring?

00:53:01.320 --> 00:53:06.279
I mean, when you did <i>Saved by the Bell?</i>
Quality. Okay? Substance.

00:53:06.280 --> 00:53:07.959
Worst film in the world.

00:53:07.960 --> 00:53:09.679
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

00:53:09.680 --> 00:53:11.220
(CLUCKING)

00:53:12.280 --> 00:53:13.439
Whoa!

00:53:13.440 --> 00:53:16.519
There he is!
<i>El presidente!</i>

00:53:16.520 --> 00:53:17.919
(VOCALIZING)

00:53:17.920 --> 00:53:19.079
(EXCLAIMS)

00:53:19.080 --> 00:53:22.639
And his wife,
the very lovely Shaniqua.

00:53:22.640 --> 00:53:23.919
It's Shandra.

00:53:23.920 --> 00:53:27.799
Great to see you. I think they
loved it! Don't you?

00:53:27.800 --> 00:53:31.946
I think that sad excuse for a movie
just lost the studio $30 million.

00:53:31.960 --> 00:53:34.661
I'm pulling the plug on <i>Big Fat Liar.</i>
What?

00:53:34.800 --> 00:53:35.839
It's over, Wolf.

00:53:35.840 --> 00:53:37.790
Just hear me out!

00:53:38.800 --> 00:53:40.943
The truth is...

00:53:41.040 --> 00:53:43.183
Would you excuse us
please, Shananny?

00:53:43.800 --> 00:53:45.784
The truth is

00:53:45.960 --> 00:53:51.664
I missed those meetings because I had
an incredible breakthrough on <i>BFL,</i>

00:53:51.760 --> 00:53:53.639
which I was working on all day.

00:53:53.640 --> 00:53:56.799
I wanted to wait until we were
in front of the entire industry

00:53:56.800 --> 00:53:58.625
to make my presentation.

00:54:03.840 --> 00:54:05.639
One chance is all I'm giving you.

00:54:05.640 --> 00:54:07.159
That's all I need.

00:54:07.160 --> 00:54:12.466
Strap on your seat belt, Dr. Duncanstein,
because you are about to be blown away.

00:54:13.600 --> 00:54:15.231
Monty!

00:54:16.800 --> 00:54:18.590
Sorry. Marty!

00:54:19.680 --> 00:54:24.159
What's going on? What is this big
presentation you're giving about the movie?

00:54:24.160 --> 00:54:26.667
I have no idea!

00:54:26.840 --> 00:54:28.159
None!

00:54:28.160 --> 00:54:29.319
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

00:54:29.320 --> 00:54:30.621
None.

00:54:31.600 --> 00:54:33.231
I can help you.

00:54:34.040 --> 00:54:36.820
Why do you keep showing
up in my life?

00:54:37.040 --> 00:54:40.503
Sounds like you need to come up
with a big idea for <i>Big Fat Liar.</i>

00:54:41.520 --> 00:54:43.799
(SCOFFS)
What, some 10-year-old kid

00:54:43.800 --> 00:54:46.831
is going to tell me how
to fix my entire movie?

00:54:47.040 --> 00:54:51.345
First of all, I'm 14. Second
of all, I created the story.

00:54:51.760 --> 00:54:54.825
You think I can't at least come
up with a few good twists?

00:54:56.920 --> 00:54:58.159
No...

00:54:58.160 --> 00:55:03.307
You mean that this kid really
did write <i>Big Fat Liar?</i>

00:55:03.440 --> 00:55:06.399
No. He wrote a little English paper

00:55:06.400 --> 00:55:08.919
with the same title.
Big deal.

00:55:08.920 --> 00:55:11.029
(STAMMERING)

00:55:15.240 --> 00:55:16.879
Don't do it, Jason.

00:55:16.880 --> 00:55:20.079
Kid, I swear to you,

00:55:20.080 --> 00:55:22.239
you get me out of this mess,

00:55:22.240 --> 00:55:25.839
and I'll tell your dad
you wrote <i>Big Fat Liar,</i>

00:55:25.840 --> 00:55:29.781
<i>Erin Brockovich and
Saving Private Ryan, too.</i>

00:55:40.080 --> 00:55:42.906
Ladies and gentlemen, friends,

00:55:42.920 --> 00:55:47.159
if I could have your attention
for just a moment, please.

00:55:47.160 --> 00:55:49.359
You're all probably wondering
why I'm blue and orange.

00:55:49.360 --> 00:55:50.599
(CROWD LAUGHING)

00:55:50.600 --> 00:55:52.599
No, just go with me for a second.

00:55:52.600 --> 00:55:55.426
You see, <i>Big Fat Liar,</i>

00:55:56.120 --> 00:55:59.424
<i>BFL,</i> "Biffle," as it
has come to be known,

00:55:59.960 --> 00:56:02.959
is full of action,
romance, effects,

00:56:02.960 --> 00:56:07.584
you bet. But what it lacks
right now is a message.

00:56:08.040 --> 00:56:09.959
Trooper's girlfriend
makes a new potion.

00:56:09.960 --> 00:56:14.504
<i>Which is supposed to make him shrink, but
instead it causes him to change color.</i>

00:56:14.960 --> 00:56:16.261
Why?

00:56:16.280 --> 00:56:17.945
<i>Because now the twist is,</i>

00:56:18.040 --> 00:56:20.119
he can't lie about
his feelings anymore.

00:56:20.120 --> 00:56:24.199
You see, his girlfriend, Penny,
she makes Trooper an antidote,

00:56:24.200 --> 00:56:28.479
which, instead of curing him,
causes him to change colors.

00:56:28.480 --> 00:56:30.559
When he's bummed out,
he turns blue.

00:56:30.560 --> 00:56:32.399
When he's depressed, he turns blue.

00:56:32.400 --> 00:56:34.799
When he's mad, his hair turns red.

00:56:34.800 --> 00:56:37.262
When he's angry, boom,

00:56:37.440 --> 00:56:40.799
his curly locks turn the color
of a flaming brushfire.

00:56:40.800 --> 00:56:43.999
<i>But when he discovers
the ultimate truth,</i>

00:56:44.000 --> 00:56:46.559
<i>that he's in love with Penny,</i>

00:56:46.560 --> 00:56:48.703
the softest shade of pink

00:56:48.840 --> 00:56:51.439
finds its way across his visage.

00:56:51.440 --> 00:56:53.469
I didn't tell him that.

00:56:53.600 --> 00:56:56.159
What are you doing?
You're not listening to me.

00:56:56.160 --> 00:56:57.439
<i>Just stick to the plan...</i>

00:56:57.440 --> 00:56:58.901
(GROANS)

00:57:01.840 --> 00:57:06.464
I'm sorry. The emotions in this
movie are just so painful.

00:57:07.840 --> 00:57:10.119
They're painful because

00:57:10.120 --> 00:57:14.266
they hit home right here,
in the old corazón.

00:57:14.520 --> 00:57:17.799
Who among us hasn't told
a little white lie?

00:57:17.800 --> 00:57:20.387
MAN: I have.
Anybody else? You?

00:57:20.400 --> 00:57:21.861
MAN 2: Guilty.
You?

00:57:23.120 --> 00:57:25.999
It's all right, don't be ashamed.
I am right there with you.

00:57:26.000 --> 00:57:28.667
I am right there with you.

00:57:28.880 --> 00:57:32.980
Because our picture looks the
audience right in the eye,

00:57:33.000 --> 00:57:36.304
and says, "Enough is enough!"

00:57:36.360 --> 00:57:38.759
The lying has got to stop!

00:57:38.760 --> 00:57:43.999
The truth and the truth alone
shall set ye free! Friends!

00:57:44.000 --> 00:57:48.039
God bless all of you!
God bless America!

00:57:48.040 --> 00:57:52.119
And God bless <i>Big Fat Liar!</i>

00:57:52.120 --> 00:57:54.104
(CROWD CHEERING)

00:57:57.720 --> 00:57:59.431
Very impressive, Marty.

00:57:59.520 --> 00:58:02.039
Does this mean that you
will approve the budget?

00:58:02.040 --> 00:58:04.159
You start shooting tomorrow.
That's great.

00:58:04.160 --> 00:58:07.759
But if anything, and I
mean anything, goes wrong,

00:58:07.760 --> 00:58:10.984
your movie, your deal
at the studio,

00:58:11.240 --> 00:58:13.542
and your career is over.
You hear me?

00:58:15.240 --> 00:58:16.559
Okay.

00:58:16.560 --> 00:58:18.039
(EXCLAIMS)

00:58:18.040 --> 00:58:19.319
(CHORTLES)

00:58:19.320 --> 00:58:22.639
Shepherd, you are a genius, buddy.

00:58:22.640 --> 00:58:24.226
(EXCLAIMING)

00:58:24.760 --> 00:58:26.079
Ready to make that call?

00:58:26.080 --> 00:58:27.999
Time to let my fingers
do the walking.

00:58:28.000 --> 00:58:30.029
Here's my dad's phone number.

00:58:30.560 --> 00:58:32.191
Daddy.

00:58:33.880 --> 00:58:35.750
(DIALING)

00:58:38.280 --> 00:58:41.060
Hello, this is Marty Wolf.

00:58:41.280 --> 00:58:45.585
I'm standing here in my
kitchen with Jason Shepherd.

00:58:46.640 --> 00:58:48.783
I'm looking at him as we speak.

00:58:50.640 --> 00:58:52.430
And you better bring backup.

00:58:55.280 --> 00:58:57.639
Weren't you on the phone
with my dad?

00:58:57.640 --> 00:59:00.839
I was on the phone, but it
ain't with your old man.

00:59:00.840 --> 00:59:03.319
You're a real piece of work.
Who are you?

00:59:03.320 --> 00:59:05.839
Rocco Malone, head of
security at Wolf Pictures.

00:59:05.840 --> 00:59:08.302
Thanks for all your help, kid.

00:59:08.480 --> 00:59:11.829
Saving my butt twice in one year.
Who would have thunk it?

00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:14.479
Let's go.
You, too, Punky Brewster.

00:59:14.480 --> 00:59:17.319
You can't do this!
We have a witness!

00:59:17.320 --> 00:59:21.625
First lesson in Hollywood, sweetheart:
Always get it in writing!

00:59:23.680 --> 00:59:25.505
What a day.

00:59:35.240 --> 00:59:36.951
<i>ROCCO: Here's the deal.</i>

00:59:37.680 --> 00:59:41.189
The two of you are going to
get on a plane, go back home,

00:59:41.560 --> 00:59:45.148
and forget this ever happened.
Clear?

00:59:49.840 --> 00:59:53.986
Good. Let's go get
you two guys packed up.

00:59:54.160 --> 00:59:56.827
I can't believe we're
just going to give up.

00:59:57.440 --> 01:00:01.381
You're Jason Shepherd.
You can get out of anything.

01:00:02.560 --> 01:00:06.182
Come on. You must have a
Phase Four up your sleeve.

01:00:09.360 --> 01:00:11.981
Yeah, I guess I do.

01:00:18.600 --> 01:00:20.823
(DIALING CELL PHONE)

01:00:25.920 --> 01:00:29.039
<i>HARRY: Hello?</i>
Dad, it's Jason.

01:00:29.040 --> 01:00:30.671
I haven't...

01:00:31.920 --> 01:00:36.191
I haven't been totally honest about what
I've been up to the last couple days.

01:00:37.680 --> 01:00:39.982
And I think it's time
I told you the truth.

01:00:42.080 --> 01:00:43.745
<i>The truth?</i>

01:00:48.920 --> 01:00:50.381
Hey, Rocco.

01:00:52.720 --> 01:00:53.959
Hey.

01:00:53.960 --> 01:00:57.959
Why don't you head home?
I'll take the kids to the airport.

01:00:57.960 --> 01:00:59.279
You sure?

01:00:59.280 --> 01:01:03.585
I'll be up all night rewriting Wolf's
script anyway, so it's no problem.

01:01:03.920 --> 01:01:08.066
All right, then. I'm getting too
old for this babysitting anyway.

01:01:09.040 --> 01:01:10.599
Take it easy.
Good night.

01:01:10.600 --> 01:01:12.061
Good night.

01:01:12.600 --> 01:01:17.542
The worst part of this whole thing is, Wolf
is just going to keep getting away with it.

01:01:17.600 --> 01:01:21.119
He treats people like dirt
and no one stands up to him!

01:01:21.120 --> 01:01:22.279
Forget it, Kaylee.

01:01:22.280 --> 01:01:24.759
I can't forget it!
It makes me sick

01:01:24.760 --> 01:01:27.439
your parents will never
know you wrote that story!

01:01:27.440 --> 01:01:31.745
What can we do? My parents will be here
in the morning! We tried everything!

01:01:31.880 --> 01:01:34.799
It'd take an army to get
Wolf to admit the truth!

01:01:34.800 --> 01:01:38.070
I think I know where
we can find our troops.

01:01:40.280 --> 01:01:41.799
What are you doing here?

01:01:41.800 --> 01:01:45.582
I've been pushed around
by Wolf for too long.

01:01:45.760 --> 01:01:48.904
Tomorrow, his whole
career is on the line.

01:01:50.480 --> 01:01:53.306
So are you guys up
for one last fight?

01:01:54.520 --> 01:01:55.821
Jas?

01:01:57.800 --> 01:01:59.784
It's payback time.

01:02:03.160 --> 01:02:06.799
You gots to look good for
the first day of shooting.

01:02:06.800 --> 01:02:09.944
Do you copy that, Mr. Funnybones?

01:02:09.960 --> 01:02:12.159
(IN HIGH VOICE)
That's a big 10-4, Marty.

01:02:12.160 --> 01:02:13.700
(CHUCKLES)

01:02:14.160 --> 01:02:15.359
(WHOOPS)

01:02:15.360 --> 01:02:18.519
I've brought you all here
tonight for two reasons.

01:02:18.520 --> 01:02:21.479
A: You're all the best
in your given fields.

01:02:21.480 --> 01:02:24.784
And B: You all despise this man.

01:02:25.120 --> 01:02:26.679
A lot.

01:02:26.680 --> 01:02:30.780
Gang, let's roll up our
sleeves and get to work.

01:02:35.640 --> 01:02:37.783
Let's begin.
Assignments.

01:02:37.840 --> 01:02:40.839
Red team, you stall him until
my parents get to the set.

01:02:40.840 --> 01:02:43.719
That's it. One more!
That's it!

01:02:43.720 --> 01:02:47.502
Blue team, I need your help in
the distract and delay tactics.

01:02:47.560 --> 01:02:50.359
Gold team, you are responsible
for mental warfare.

01:02:50.360 --> 01:02:52.999
To get what we need, we are talking

01:02:53.000 --> 01:02:56.399
complete physical and
psycho-emotional breakdown, people!

01:02:56.400 --> 01:02:58.031
(EXCLAIMING)

01:02:58.200 --> 01:03:00.343
I want to see a broken man.

01:03:01.200 --> 01:03:04.868
I'm talking broken like, "I threw
a baseball through your window."

01:03:04.880 --> 01:03:07.199
Snap him like a twig.

01:03:07.200 --> 01:03:09.319
Squeeze him like a bug!

01:03:09.320 --> 01:03:13.599
I want you to turn him into mincemeat!
And I don't even know what mincemeat is!

01:03:13.600 --> 01:03:15.879
I want him to scream for his mommy.

01:03:15.880 --> 01:03:16.999
(SCREAMING)

01:03:17.000 --> 01:03:19.559
"Mommy! Mommy!"
You hear me, people?

01:03:19.560 --> 01:03:21.305
Do you read me?

01:03:21.720 --> 01:03:24.182
I think they read you.

01:03:24.720 --> 01:03:26.226
Fair enough.

01:03:26.400 --> 01:03:27.599
JASON: Guys?

01:03:27.600 --> 01:03:29.584
I just got one thing to say.

01:03:32.760 --> 01:03:34.585
It's showtime.
It's showtime.

01:03:39.080 --> 01:03:41.382
You from the studio?
Yes, sir.

01:03:42.280 --> 01:03:44.559
Don't I know you?
Yeah, you do.

01:03:44.560 --> 01:03:48.079
Frank Jackson. I was your driver
last year till you fired me.

01:03:48.080 --> 01:03:50.064
Fabulous!

01:03:50.080 --> 01:03:53.919
The acting career must really be
taking off. Bravo, Brando.

01:03:53.920 --> 01:03:55.239
Get moving.
I don't want to be late.

01:03:55.240 --> 01:03:56.399
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

01:03:56.400 --> 01:03:58.384
<i>MARTY: Monty, it's me.</i>

01:03:58.920 --> 01:04:01.985
Hey, Marty. You get some
rest for the big day?

01:04:02.080 --> 01:04:06.599
Are you kidding me? I spent half the night
with a scrub brush and a can of turpentine.

01:04:06.600 --> 01:04:10.063
But, bye-bye, Little Boy Blue!
I am back!

01:04:10.120 --> 01:04:11.279
Hey!

01:04:11.280 --> 01:04:14.679
Pedal to the metal, Ricky Retardo!
I got a movie to shoot!

01:04:14.680 --> 01:04:16.106
(CAR RATTLING)

01:04:16.360 --> 01:04:19.903
Sorry, sir. There seems to be
something wrong with the car.

01:04:24.640 --> 01:04:25.941
(SIGHS)

01:04:27.800 --> 01:04:29.431
I'll fix it.

01:04:31.800 --> 01:04:34.421
Hot smoke.
Very hot smoke.

01:04:35.120 --> 01:04:36.660
(BLOWING)

01:04:38.120 --> 01:04:39.279
What the hell is happening here?

01:04:39.280 --> 01:04:40.519
Stay right there.

01:04:40.520 --> 01:04:44.461
No, Mr. Wolf, don't come up here.
We have a situation.

01:04:44.640 --> 01:04:49.799
The carbide lateral valve is connected
to the defibrillator and it's acting up.

01:04:49.800 --> 01:04:51.799
The point is,
it could blow anytime.

01:04:51.800 --> 01:04:53.719
You might want to back up.
Back up.

01:04:53.720 --> 01:04:55.624
What are you saying?

01:04:55.640 --> 01:04:57.799
The engine's fried.
I need a backup car.

01:04:57.800 --> 01:05:02.159
Are you kidding me? My movie
starts shooting in an hour!

01:05:02.160 --> 01:05:06.159
Mr. Wolf, please, I would very much
appreciate it if you didn't yell at me, okay?

01:05:06.160 --> 01:05:07.319
Mmm-mmm.

01:05:07.320 --> 01:05:09.319
I want to do right.
Don't.

01:05:09.320 --> 01:05:13.147
Don't touch, dude!
Do not touch!

01:05:13.160 --> 01:05:14.791
Don't.

01:05:15.520 --> 01:05:16.981
Hey!

01:05:17.680 --> 01:05:18.999
Everything okay here?

01:05:19.000 --> 01:05:22.679
Urkel. Jaleel.
Oh, my God. My man.

01:05:22.680 --> 01:05:25.319
You got to get me
out of here, buddy.

01:05:25.320 --> 01:05:26.985
Hop in.

01:05:27.000 --> 01:05:29.999
No! Mr. Wolf, please.
Mr. Wolf, no.

01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:32.906
Could you unlock it?

01:05:34.000 --> 01:05:36.667
No! Mr. Wolf, please!
Drive.

01:05:36.680 --> 01:05:38.311
<i>Sayonara,</i> loser!

01:05:41.200 --> 01:05:43.104
(SOBBING)

01:05:45.360 --> 01:05:49.759
F-Man to J-Dog. The
baton has been passed.

01:05:49.760 --> 01:05:51.824
JASON: Roger that, F-Man.
Well done.

01:05:53.040 --> 01:05:57.186
Who's a bad actor now, Mr. Wolf?
Those were real tears!

01:05:57.320 --> 01:05:59.429
K-Bird, the baton has been passed.

01:06:00.320 --> 01:06:01.985
Got it!

01:06:07.400 --> 01:06:08.799
Nice car!

01:06:08.800 --> 01:06:13.503
TV money! I didn't wear those glasses and
suspenders all those years for free!

01:06:14.240 --> 01:06:17.719
That's a relief. Do you
know where you're going?

01:06:17.720 --> 01:06:19.039
I'm taking a shortcut.

01:06:19.040 --> 01:06:23.629
Put your seat back and relax, old man.
You're in Jaleel's hands now.

01:06:23.920 --> 01:06:25.381
Okay.

01:06:25.400 --> 01:06:26.559
(WHOOPS)

01:06:26.560 --> 01:06:28.559
MARTY: You're going to fishtail!

01:06:28.560 --> 01:06:30.039
That was close.

01:06:30.040 --> 01:06:31.421
(WHOOPING)

01:06:37.560 --> 01:06:39.385
JALEEL: Yeah, baby!

01:06:39.400 --> 01:06:42.479
Where in the hell
are you taking me?

01:06:42.480 --> 01:06:44.039
I told you.
I know a shortcut.

01:06:44.040 --> 01:06:45.519
Through the desert?

01:06:45.520 --> 01:06:47.919
Slow down, you maniac!
I'm getting out!

01:06:47.920 --> 01:06:49.159
It's your call.

01:06:49.160 --> 01:06:50.839
I'll do it.
Do what you got to do!

01:06:50.840 --> 01:06:51.919
I'm getting out!

01:06:51.920 --> 01:06:53.301
Go!

01:06:54.080 --> 01:06:56.269
(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

01:06:58.920 --> 01:07:00.585
Not bad.

01:07:01.120 --> 01:07:03.229
Yo, Jaleel at the wheel.

01:07:03.360 --> 01:07:05.199
<i>The condor has flown the coop.</i>

01:07:05.200 --> 01:07:08.439
Roger, J-Dub. Wait.
What does that mean?

01:07:08.440 --> 01:07:12.599
It means I'm leaving Wolf in the
middle of the desert. Urkel is out.

01:07:12.600 --> 01:07:13.981
(WHOOPS)

01:07:33.920 --> 01:07:35.631
(GRUNTS)

01:07:51.520 --> 01:07:53.159
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

01:07:53.160 --> 01:07:54.479
Hello?

01:07:54.480 --> 01:07:56.748
Monty, it's me.

01:07:57.040 --> 01:07:59.820
Hey, Marty.
Is everything okay?

01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:03.622
No, no, everything is fine.
Except...

01:08:03.840 --> 01:08:06.791
Yeah, I'm stuck in the
middle of the desert!

01:08:06.840 --> 01:08:08.999
<i>Do you hear what
I am saying to you?</i>

01:08:09.000 --> 01:08:10.079
The what?

01:08:10.080 --> 01:08:11.620
<i>The desert.</i>

01:08:11.680 --> 01:08:14.301
Get me out of here.
<i>How?</i>

01:08:14.360 --> 01:08:18.301
I don't care how, Monty!
Just do it!

01:08:24.200 --> 01:08:26.502
Ready to go wolf hunting?

01:08:36.560 --> 01:08:38.942
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)

01:09:11.560 --> 01:09:14.919
I borrowed the chopper from
the shoot. You're in good hands.

01:09:14.920 --> 01:09:17.559
I flew 49 combat
missions in Vietnam.

01:09:17.560 --> 01:09:21.069
Save me the sob story, Methuselah!

01:09:21.080 --> 01:09:23.399
I already sat through <i>Platoon!</i>

01:09:23.400 --> 01:09:26.067
Just get me to the set.

01:09:29.200 --> 01:09:30.581
(LAUGHING)

01:09:37.440 --> 01:09:39.559
This is Father Time.
We're headed your way.

01:09:39.560 --> 01:09:41.021
Roger, F.T.

01:09:43.080 --> 01:09:45.382
They're airborne.
Copy that.

01:09:47.240 --> 01:09:51.439
Let's punch a hole in the
sky, grandpa! Go! Go! Go!

01:09:51.440 --> 01:09:53.071
(YELLING)

01:09:53.240 --> 01:09:56.079
Let's get a tail wind behind
this bird, old-timer!

01:09:56.080 --> 01:09:58.348
Go, go, go!

01:10:02.880 --> 01:10:07.026
Brando to Base. The sheep has located
the Shepherds and we're coming home.

01:10:07.360 --> 01:10:08.661
Yes!

01:10:19.120 --> 01:10:21.388
(BEEPING)

01:10:21.960 --> 01:10:23.625
Oh, boy.

01:10:23.800 --> 01:10:26.626
What's that?
What's happening?

01:10:28.960 --> 01:10:32.787
One of our blades is jammed! We're
going to have to do a forced evac!

01:10:33.480 --> 01:10:35.623
What are you talking about?

01:10:37.920 --> 01:10:41.144
We got to jump!
This bird is going down!

01:10:41.640 --> 01:10:43.021
Vince.

01:10:46.480 --> 01:10:47.781
Vince?

01:10:50.320 --> 01:10:51.839
Are you kidding me?

01:10:51.840 --> 01:10:53.630
No, but I wish I was.

01:10:53.840 --> 01:10:56.679
You'll have to hold on tight.
We've only got one chute.

01:10:56.680 --> 01:10:58.823
I hope it supports us both.

01:11:00.360 --> 01:11:03.559
Wait a minute.
This is insanity!

01:11:03.560 --> 01:11:06.119
Vince, have you done this before?

01:11:06.120 --> 01:11:08.759
Don't worry, Wolf,
I'm a professional.

01:11:08.760 --> 01:11:12.746
Granddad's been doing
this a long, long time.

01:11:13.200 --> 01:11:15.787
(SCREAMING)

01:11:18.200 --> 01:11:21.071
(BEEPING)

01:11:25.760 --> 01:11:28.381
This is Chopper One to Control.

01:11:28.480 --> 01:11:31.181
Papa Bear and the Wolf
have left the building.

01:11:38.080 --> 01:11:39.745
Not like this!

01:11:39.760 --> 01:11:42.839
Sweet God, not like this!

01:11:42.840 --> 01:11:44.744
(SCREAMING)

01:11:56.840 --> 01:11:58.346
Hello, sir.

01:11:58.440 --> 01:11:59.980
Where's Wolf?

01:12:00.360 --> 01:12:01.821
Late.

01:12:02.280 --> 01:12:03.627
Bad.

01:12:26.240 --> 01:12:27.780
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

01:12:31.760 --> 01:12:32.839
Hello?

01:12:32.840 --> 01:12:36.144
I'm on the lot, Monty!
I'll be there in a minute!

01:12:36.160 --> 01:12:37.439
Marty.

01:12:37.440 --> 01:12:41.519
I'm not lying. Stall Duncan
another second, okay? I'm coming.

01:12:41.520 --> 01:12:42.639
Hey, Wolf.

01:12:42.640 --> 01:12:44.544
How's it hanging, Shepherd?

01:12:58.640 --> 01:13:00.066
(SQUEAKS)

01:13:01.880 --> 01:13:03.306
(GASPS)

01:13:09.280 --> 01:13:11.389
Give me back my monkey.

01:13:11.520 --> 01:13:13.060
Come get him.

01:13:26.600 --> 01:13:29.107
You two, good-bye!

01:13:30.120 --> 01:13:31.879
I'm coming, Funnybones!

01:13:31.880 --> 01:13:33.750
(EXCLAIMING)

01:13:43.480 --> 01:13:44.919
Coming through!

01:13:44.920 --> 01:13:46.199
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

01:13:46.200 --> 01:13:47.501
Move it!

01:13:47.720 --> 01:13:50.182
<i>(CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING)</i>

01:13:56.720 --> 01:13:58.181
(CHORTLING)

01:13:59.800 --> 01:14:01.465
Look out!

01:14:04.000 --> 01:14:05.631
Come on!

01:14:09.000 --> 01:14:11.621
Right behind you, Shepherd!

01:14:26.600 --> 01:14:29.159
You can't outrun the Wolf, kid!

01:14:29.160 --> 01:14:31.144
We'll see about that.

01:14:32.880 --> 01:14:35.759
Hang on, Funnybones!
Daddy's coming!

01:14:35.760 --> 01:14:37.903
He's all yours, Lester.

01:14:40.360 --> 01:14:42.310
Activate water.

01:14:46.320 --> 01:14:48.031
(SCREAMING)

01:14:53.320 --> 01:14:56.703
Who's the geek boy now, you spaz?

01:15:03.560 --> 01:15:07.865
This is it, Monty. If he's not here
in 60 seconds, this movie is over.

01:15:07.880 --> 01:15:10.706
Right there is where the
big stunt is taking place.

01:15:13.160 --> 01:15:14.825
This way.

01:15:29.440 --> 01:15:32.266
(IN HIGH VOICE) Help.
Come and rescue me, Marty.

01:15:35.920 --> 01:15:38.063
Feets, don't fail me now.

01:15:44.560 --> 01:15:47.101
(ROARING)

01:15:48.840 --> 01:15:50.744
(BOTH GRUNT)

01:16:00.480 --> 01:16:01.986
(SQUEAKS)

01:16:03.160 --> 01:16:04.586
(GRUNTS)

01:16:15.520 --> 01:16:18.039
Let go of the monkey.

01:16:18.040 --> 01:16:19.159
Call my dad.

01:16:19.160 --> 01:16:20.985
Never.
Yes.

01:16:21.280 --> 01:16:23.105
No!

01:16:23.960 --> 01:16:28.743
That's it, kid.
It's over! You lose and I win!

01:16:28.800 --> 01:16:30.199
I don't think so, Wolf.

01:16:30.200 --> 01:16:32.264
You don't think so?

01:16:32.280 --> 01:16:35.424
Come on, Jason.
You're smarter than that.

01:16:35.480 --> 01:16:37.799
You write a story, I steal it,

01:16:37.800 --> 01:16:41.559
and I'm about to shoot the
greatest movie of my career.

01:16:41.560 --> 01:16:43.799
So, you admit you stole my story?

01:16:43.800 --> 01:16:46.479
We've been over this.
It's ancient history.

01:16:46.480 --> 01:16:48.279
Yeah, I stole your story!

01:16:48.280 --> 01:16:50.079
Whoop-dee-doodle-doo!

01:16:50.080 --> 01:16:51.639
You happy now?

01:16:51.640 --> 01:16:56.787
I stole Jason Shepherd's paper
and turned it into <i>Big Fat Liar!</i>

01:16:56.960 --> 01:17:00.264
You know who's listening, pal?
No one.

01:17:00.360 --> 01:17:02.199
And they never will.

01:17:02.200 --> 01:17:07.279
So, for the last time, give it up.
Because I will never, ever, ever,

01:17:07.280 --> 01:17:10.424
like, never, ever, ever, ever,

01:17:10.640 --> 01:17:13.591
ever infinity tell the truth.

01:17:14.160 --> 01:17:15.679
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

01:17:15.680 --> 01:17:17.519
Because the truth
is overrated, right?

01:17:17.520 --> 01:17:20.061
That's right!
<i>MAN: And cut.</i>

01:17:40.280 --> 01:17:42.719
I told you, Wolf.
The only way to shoot this scene

01:17:42.720 --> 01:17:46.919
is from 12 different camera
angles, with birds flying around.

01:17:46.920 --> 01:17:48.399
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

01:17:48.400 --> 01:17:50.039
By the by,

01:17:50.040 --> 01:17:52.866
Confucius say, "Kastang!

01:17:52.880 --> 01:17:54.670
"You're busted!"

01:17:57.720 --> 01:17:59.260
Rock and roll, baby.

01:18:09.880 --> 01:18:12.501
It's just like you wanted, Wolf!

01:18:12.720 --> 01:18:15.864
The press is all here!

01:18:42.760 --> 01:18:46.667
You stole the idea for this
movie from a 13-year-old boy?

01:18:46.760 --> 01:18:48.744
Well, he's...

01:18:50.120 --> 01:18:52.070
He's 14.

01:18:52.120 --> 01:18:55.902
This is the end of the line, Wolf.
It's over.

01:19:05.080 --> 01:19:06.586
(GRUNTS)

01:19:07.800 --> 01:19:10.580
Wolf, I want to say thanks.

01:19:10.720 --> 01:19:13.102
You taught me a valuable lesson.

01:19:13.440 --> 01:19:15.105
The truth?

01:19:15.120 --> 01:19:17.104
It's not overrated.

01:19:18.240 --> 01:19:20.463
(SCOFFING)

01:19:24.120 --> 01:19:27.629
I am going to get you, Shepherd!

01:19:32.360 --> 01:19:33.866
(JASON SCREAMING)

01:19:34.240 --> 01:19:35.951
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

01:19:45.640 --> 01:19:47.159
(PEOPLE GASPING)

01:19:47.160 --> 01:19:48.825
(CROWD CLAPPING)

01:19:59.160 --> 01:20:01.679
You did all this just to
prove you weren't lying?

01:20:01.680 --> 01:20:04.142
I wanted to earn
your trust back, Dad.

01:20:04.840 --> 01:20:07.905
You've earned it, buddy.
You've earned it.

01:20:16.200 --> 01:20:17.786
(MARTY SHOUTS)

01:20:20.040 --> 01:20:22.039
We've got a movie to shoot!

01:20:22.040 --> 01:20:24.661
Come on!
Let's make some magic.

01:20:24.880 --> 01:20:27.599
The human hit factory
is ready to roll!

01:20:27.600 --> 01:20:29.140
(SNICKERS)

01:20:29.360 --> 01:20:31.025
Let's go.

01:20:31.440 --> 01:20:33.742
Where do you think you're going?

01:20:34.200 --> 01:20:37.663
You cannot turn your backs on me!

01:20:37.720 --> 01:20:39.510
I'm Marty Wolf!

01:20:39.880 --> 01:20:42.342
All right, fine! Fine!

01:20:43.040 --> 01:20:44.719
You're all fired!

01:20:44.720 --> 01:20:46.704
MAN: You suck, Marty.

01:21:12.280 --> 01:21:16.107
You certainly know
how to make an entrance.

01:21:16.280 --> 01:21:18.105
What can I say?

01:21:18.440 --> 01:21:19.639
I got big feet.

01:21:19.640 --> 01:21:21.066
(GIGGLES)

01:21:21.800 --> 01:21:26.424
You were right, Penny. The truth?
It's not overrated.

01:21:27.120 --> 01:21:29.309
(APPLAUSE)

01:21:53.840 --> 01:21:55.665
(WHOOPS)

01:22:00.600 --> 01:22:02.231
(EXCLAIMING)

01:22:04.320 --> 01:22:06.907
Congratulations.
It was incredible.

01:22:21.520 --> 01:22:23.106
(DOORBELL RINGS)

01:22:25.360 --> 01:22:27.503
It's showtime.

01:22:31.200 --> 01:22:34.119
Hey, kids.
I'm Wolfie the Clown.

01:22:34.120 --> 01:22:35.501
(WHOOPS)

01:22:35.720 --> 01:22:40.025
(IN HIGH VOICE) And I'm Mr. Funnybones!
Happy birthday, Darren.

01:22:40.920 --> 01:22:42.959
Oh, my God!

01:22:42.960 --> 01:22:44.359
Oh, no.

01:22:44.360 --> 01:22:46.199
Yo, Little Mash,
show him your nutcracker.

01:22:46.223 --> 01:23:06.223
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