WEBVTT 00:00:00.457 --> 00:00:20.457 ..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::.. ‏.:: www.bolboljan.net ::. 00:00:32.481 --> 00:00:39.316 Your attention, please. Flight 217 from Venice, Italy, now arriving at Gate 34. 00:00:39.406 --> 00:00:43.320 Please claim all baggage at carousel number two... 00:01:15.567 --> 00:01:17.109 Hot! Hot! 00:01:48.058 --> 00:01:49.717 I'll be by tomorrow for my stuff. 00:01:49.809 --> 00:01:53.758 Oh. Call first, cos I might be having sex with a complete stranger! 00:01:57.984 --> 00:02:01.067 45 minutes for a cab. This is ridiculous. 00:02:01.153 --> 00:02:02.648 Cheese and rice! 00:02:05.283 --> 00:02:07.608 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah! 00:02:07.702 --> 00:02:12.494 Boy, you got it in there, didn't you, honey? Thank you so much! 00:02:16.127 --> 00:02:18.914 I need a ride. 00:02:19.005 --> 00:02:21.080 Get out of my way. 00:02:35.688 --> 00:02:36.766 Ooh! 00:02:39.066 --> 00:02:40.941 Get in! 00:02:52.788 --> 00:02:55.244 Try and keep it on the road for a change. 00:03:08.429 --> 00:03:12.343 - Can't you get it any closer? - I don't wanna scratch the paint. 00:03:22.360 --> 00:03:24.566 What do you do here, Tom Leezak? 00:03:24.654 --> 00:03:25.934 Open the gate, Yuan. 00:03:26.030 --> 00:03:28.901 You and Tom not together any more. 00:03:28.991 --> 00:03:31.742 - Just open the gate, Yuan! - OK. 00:03:51.304 --> 00:03:52.965 That one looks heavy. 00:03:56.894 --> 00:03:59.267 Get that junk wagon out of here. 00:03:59.355 --> 00:04:01.228 Right away, princess! 00:04:14.745 --> 00:04:17.034 Not one word. 00:04:18.999 --> 00:04:22.867 - Are Mom and Dad home? - No, they're at the Emphysema Ball. 00:04:22.962 --> 00:04:26.746 Don't worry, Peewee. We'll get this Tom mess cleaned up. 00:04:31.053 --> 00:04:32.548 Sarah... 00:04:45.067 --> 00:04:47.771 Kyle... 00:04:52.616 --> 00:04:54.360 Kyle. 00:04:54.868 --> 00:04:56.742 Kyle. 00:05:01.584 --> 00:05:05.366 OK, I'm home, so you can leave whenever you want. 00:05:24.482 --> 00:05:27.436 This is Tom and Sarah. We can"t come to the phone 00:05:27.526 --> 00:05:30.064 because we"re honeymooning in Europe! 00:05:30.154 --> 00:05:34.780 Send a large wedding gift, or we won"t call you bacK. I"m serious. 00:05:36.243 --> 00:05:39.528 Kyle. I got your message. Sorry the honeymoon sucKed. 00:05:39.621 --> 00:05:44.864 Anyway, don"t wig. When you get bacK, we"ll do some Budweiser therapy. 00:05:46.169 --> 00:05:49.503 Hi, Sarah, it"s Peter. I thought I might catch you in. 00:05:49.590 --> 00:05:53.290 Tom, if you"re listening, buddy, I feel your pain. 00:06:01.185 --> 00:06:06.013 - Where you been, man? You're on in five. - I walked over. I had to clear my head. 00:06:06.106 --> 00:06:08.064 So? What happened? 00:06:08.151 --> 00:06:12.277 Well, I had the perfect relationship that was ruined by marriage. 00:06:12.362 --> 00:06:16.360 You saw it, right? We were perfect from the minute we met. Right? 00:06:16.449 --> 00:06:20.530 Yeah. In fact, it was nauseating. 00:06:21.288 --> 00:06:22.912 Thank you, Fred. 00:06:27.878 --> 00:06:31.329 Blue 28! Blue 28! 00:06:31.423 --> 00:06:34.341 Set! Hut! 00:06:35.844 --> 00:06:37.636 I'm open! I'm open! 00:06:40.517 --> 00:06:42.140 Football! 00:06:44.645 --> 00:06:45.842 Oh... 00:06:46.896 --> 00:06:48.094 Sorry! 00:06:49.650 --> 00:06:51.109 Are you OK? 00:06:51.193 --> 00:06:54.111 Yeah. You had nothin' on it. 00:07:00.786 --> 00:07:03.538 Cheers, Sarah McNerney. 00:07:03.622 --> 00:07:06.244 Cheers, Tom Leezak. 00:07:09.420 --> 00:07:12.207 So, what do you do when you're not Joe Montana? 00:07:12.298 --> 00:07:15.297 I work at KNR Radio, 00:07:15.383 --> 00:07:18.550 your traffic information station. 00:07:19.429 --> 00:07:21.967 So I have myself a real live radio host? 00:07:22.057 --> 00:07:26.220 No. Someday I'll be that guy. Sports, hopefully. 00:07:26.311 --> 00:07:29.063 Right now, I just do spot traffic reports. 00:07:29.147 --> 00:07:32.683 On the graveyard shift. Every other week. 00:07:32.777 --> 00:07:35.812 When the full-time guy's sick. 00:07:35.904 --> 00:07:39.070 - You're that Tom. - Yeah. You heard me on the air? 00:07:39.157 --> 00:07:42.361 Yeah, I called in about a week ago. Like, 3am. 00:07:42.453 --> 00:07:45.619 You said the Pasadena freeway was clear, so I took it, 00:07:45.706 --> 00:07:51.957 and got stuck behind a jackknifed big rig for, like, three hours. Yeah. 00:07:52.045 --> 00:07:54.169 Sarah from Beverly Hills. 00:07:55.089 --> 00:07:57.960 Who called me a... fathead. 00:07:58.760 --> 00:08:00.966 We got pretty heated. 00:08:01.054 --> 00:08:02.549 Very heated. 00:08:05.143 --> 00:08:08.262 So, 3am? That's past your bedtime, is it? 00:08:08.354 --> 00:08:13.182 How do you know? I was wrapping out an auction. I'm a gofer at Sotheby's. 00:08:13.275 --> 00:08:17.984 Let me guess: marketing major, Stanford. Smartypants in the front row. 00:08:18.071 --> 00:08:21.903 - Art history major, Wellesley, back row. - Oh, bacK row. 00:08:21.991 --> 00:08:25.610 Sweet! Me too. Communications, Burbank Community College. 00:08:25.704 --> 00:08:27.992 - Wanna hear the fight song? - No, thank you. 00:08:28.081 --> 00:08:30.453 - I'm really good at it. - No, really. Thanks. 00:08:30.542 --> 00:08:32.617 That's a good choice. 00:08:33.628 --> 00:08:35.870 McNerney. 00:08:35.964 --> 00:08:40.425 You're not, by any chance, the daughter of Dan McNerney, 00:08:40.511 --> 00:08:44.674 part-owner-of-the-Lakers-and-Dodgers McNerney? 00:08:45.682 --> 00:08:47.509 I'll take that as a yes. 00:08:48.101 --> 00:08:50.592 Ready to get your ass kicked at eight-ball? 00:08:50.687 --> 00:08:54.387 Oh-ho-ho-ho. You are dreaming, Wellesley. 00:08:54.482 --> 00:08:56.440 I went to day care in a pool hall. 00:08:56.526 --> 00:08:59.361 Oh. Pretty confident there, huh, fathead? 00:09:07.037 --> 00:09:09.610 Bags, shh. Bags, shh! 00:09:46.785 --> 00:09:50.201 - Wow. - Yeah. 00:09:52.874 --> 00:09:56.457 And that was it. A month later, we moved in together. 00:09:57.920 --> 00:10:02.629 Why did we get married when we had loving each other so completely nailed? 00:10:02.717 --> 00:10:04.709 I don't know. Ten seconds. 00:10:04.802 --> 00:10:06.428 Why does anyone get married? 00:10:06.512 --> 00:10:12.017 I mean, does it make sense to be with one person for your entire life? 00:10:13.144 --> 00:10:15.897 People change. They grow. 00:10:15.980 --> 00:10:17.061 You're on, Tom. 00:10:17.900 --> 00:10:22.193 Maybe we'd still be together if I'd gotten the proposal right, but, nope, 00:10:22.279 --> 00:10:24.852 the proposal is critical, and I blew it. 00:10:24.948 --> 00:10:26.608 Tom! 00:10:30.661 --> 00:10:36.914 This is Tom Leezak with KNR traffic at 2.06am. 00:10:37.002 --> 00:10:42.458 At this hour, there are approximately seven vehicles on all Southland freeways, 00:10:42.549 --> 00:10:47.376 so if you feel like skateboarding down the 405, she's wide-open. 00:10:47.470 --> 00:10:51.005 Stay tuned for another traffic update in ten minutes 00:10:51.099 --> 00:10:56.473 on KNR, your traffic information station. 00:10:57.522 --> 00:11:01.353 And we're out. Look here, Tom. You gotta focus, all right, man? 00:11:01.900 --> 00:11:05.769 Forget about proposals. Forget about marriage. All right? 00:11:12.912 --> 00:11:14.455 Bags... 00:11:17.249 --> 00:11:22.126 Do you have to grunt all the time? You're just like a little pig with hair. 00:11:23.756 --> 00:11:27.256 Look at me. I'm the cutest doggy in the world. 00:11:27.344 --> 00:11:32.681 I'm the cutest doggy in the world. Throw the ball for me. I'll pull on your leg all day. 00:11:32.765 --> 00:11:35.434 Bags, seriously, I will... 00:11:35.518 --> 00:11:37.179 Bags, I'm reading. 00:11:41.232 --> 00:11:42.775 Fetch. 00:11:53.579 --> 00:11:55.986 It wasn't like Bags to chase pigeons. 00:11:58.792 --> 00:12:01.746 This pigeon was cruel. It was... 00:12:03.546 --> 00:12:07.875 Bags, he just... he just went for him. 00:12:09.010 --> 00:12:11.085 He was taunting. 00:12:12.638 --> 00:12:16.256 And... squawking. 00:12:16.350 --> 00:12:19.102 Squawking? 00:12:19.187 --> 00:12:21.643 Squawking. 00:12:21.731 --> 00:12:25.148 I mean, at first, it was more of a... more of a purring. 00:12:26.361 --> 00:12:29.565 You know how they... I mean, Bags... It got his attention. 00:12:29.657 --> 00:12:32.194 He has a low tolerance for annoyances. 00:12:32.283 --> 00:12:35.533 But then it turned into this, like, shrill... 00:12:48.090 --> 00:12:50.167 You're Iying. 00:12:51.177 --> 00:12:54.842 - What? - Your nostrils always flare when you lie. 00:12:54.931 --> 00:12:57.173 Flare! Flare! 00:12:57.267 --> 00:13:01.051 They're not flaring. I'm not Iying. 00:13:05.066 --> 00:13:10.106 Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just really overwhelmed. 00:13:11.572 --> 00:13:14.608 Promise we'll never lie to each other. 00:13:17.078 --> 00:13:19.533 It's a promise. 00:13:26.004 --> 00:13:28.542 I love you so much. 00:13:34.553 --> 00:13:36.796 Listen, Sarah... 00:13:37.349 --> 00:13:40.302 I wanna marry you, Tom Leezak. 00:13:43.146 --> 00:13:45.268 I wanna marry you, too. 00:13:56.784 --> 00:14:00.949 Why do you bring Dodge to front? ParK at service entrance! 00:14:01.039 --> 00:14:03.660 - Open the gate, Yuan. - OK. 00:14:05.210 --> 00:14:06.668 Here we go! 00:14:06.752 --> 00:14:08.829 Whoo! 00:14:19.932 --> 00:14:22.601 Well, well, well... 00:14:24.729 --> 00:14:27.137 What a surprise. 00:14:35.615 --> 00:14:39.565 - Welcome to the family, Tom. - Thank you, Mrs McNerney. 00:14:39.953 --> 00:14:41.992 Oh, you can call me Pussy now. 00:14:42.080 --> 00:14:45.613 Thank you... Pussy. 00:14:45.708 --> 00:14:49.836 Well, wonderful. Wonderful! 00:14:49.920 --> 00:14:52.494 Yuan, champagne for everybody! 00:14:54.424 --> 00:14:56.132 Knock it off, Dickie! 00:14:57.428 --> 00:15:02.174 Peewee. My youngest daughter. 00:15:02.267 --> 00:15:04.639 You little rebel. 00:15:05.728 --> 00:15:08.895 And you, Tom Leezak. You're... 00:15:09.733 --> 00:15:12.567 Well, wonderful surprise. 00:15:13.445 --> 00:15:15.603 Thank you, Mr McNerney. 00:15:15.697 --> 00:15:19.397 I... I just hope that I can... 00:15:19.491 --> 00:15:23.739 be just all that I can be... 00:15:25.498 --> 00:15:28.582 in this family. 00:15:35.091 --> 00:15:38.424 Well, I love Sarah. 00:15:38.511 --> 00:15:40.338 That's all I need to know. 00:15:42.265 --> 00:15:45.468 You really missed the boat, didn't you, Prentiss? 00:15:45.560 --> 00:15:46.675 Yes, I did, Dan. 00:15:46.769 --> 00:15:49.176 You bet your ass you did. 00:15:49.271 --> 00:15:53.933 I should've been courting Sarah instead of putting in 19-hour days at the office. 00:15:54.025 --> 00:15:57.893 Anyway, congratulations. To both of you. 00:15:57.988 --> 00:16:00.396 Seriously, from my heart. 00:16:00.491 --> 00:16:02.567 Thank you, Peter. 00:16:03.452 --> 00:16:06.868 - You're a lucky man. - Hey, I know that. 00:16:06.956 --> 00:16:09.031 Grab a flute of bubbly and rise. 00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:13.828 Everybody ready? 00:16:14.213 --> 00:16:18.081 - Why is Peter Prentiss here? - Dad's doing business with him. 00:16:18.176 --> 00:16:21.544 All right. Health, wealth, happiness. 00:16:21.637 --> 00:16:24.211 Health, wealth, happiness. 00:16:25.390 --> 00:16:28.724 All right, Peewee. Ten-yard out. 00:16:28.811 --> 00:16:34.398 Leezak, give me a five-yard slant. You got this, man. Don't worry about it. 00:16:34.483 --> 00:16:36.641 - Calm down. - What do you mean, calm down? 00:16:36.735 --> 00:16:41.694 Why do bad things happen to good people, Father? Where's that in your book? 00:16:41.782 --> 00:16:44.108 - She's determined. - Not even Catholic! 00:16:44.202 --> 00:16:48.116 - He's a Polack! No, he's a Polack. - I know, and I warned you... 00:16:48.206 --> 00:16:50.531 Let's see what Leezak's packing. 00:16:50.625 --> 00:16:53.293 Ready? All right. And break! 00:16:53.877 --> 00:16:55.953 - On one. Ready? - Break! 00:16:59.842 --> 00:17:02.463 You girls ready for this? 00:17:04.096 --> 00:17:05.342 Down! 00:17:07.600 --> 00:17:08.631 Set! 00:17:10.978 --> 00:17:12.307 Ooh! 00:17:13.939 --> 00:17:15.647 That was a hard one. 00:17:16.400 --> 00:17:18.440 - Yeah! - That's what I'm talkin' about! 00:17:18.528 --> 00:17:20.687 - What are you doing, Willie? - I slipped. 00:17:22.573 --> 00:17:26.321 I still got my flag. I'm good. I'm good. 00:17:27.703 --> 00:17:30.870 Oh, my Peewee. Always moving so fast. 00:17:30.956 --> 00:17:35.998 You move in together after a month, live together for nine months, and... 00:17:36.086 --> 00:17:38.659 now you're engaged. 00:17:38.755 --> 00:17:41.426 Oh, I know you love him, but, you know, 00:17:41.508 --> 00:17:46.467 sometimes it takes more than love to sustain a marriage. 00:17:48.140 --> 00:17:50.678 You need to be old enough to know who you are 00:17:50.768 --> 00:17:52.891 and what you want and who he is. 00:17:52.979 --> 00:17:56.513 Oh, Mom, he's wild and spontaneous 00:17:56.607 --> 00:17:59.145 and hysterical and offbeat, 00:17:59.235 --> 00:18:03.102 and on top of all that, he's centred, and he's down-to-earth. 00:18:03.197 --> 00:18:07.610 He's everything I want. And we have this passion for each other that's... 00:18:07.702 --> 00:18:09.575 Oh! 00:18:12.289 --> 00:18:14.163 I'm jealous. 00:18:16.085 --> 00:18:19.336 All right. First thing tomorrow... 00:18:21.757 --> 00:18:24.248 we're gonna plan this wedding! 00:18:48.826 --> 00:18:50.071 Hey, you. 00:19:05.217 --> 00:19:08.503 So I guess everyone thinks we're crazy for doing this. 00:19:08.595 --> 00:19:12.131 Now when did we start caring about what other people think? 00:19:14.016 --> 00:19:19.687 Well, are you sure that you don't wanna marry a guy like Peter? 00:19:21.024 --> 00:19:26.731 If I wanted to know exactly what my life would be from hereon out, 00:19:26.822 --> 00:19:30.322 I would marry a guy like Peter. 00:19:30.408 --> 00:19:33.114 But I love not knowing. 00:19:33.204 --> 00:19:38.909 I love our messy loft... your beater car. 00:19:41.878 --> 00:19:44.749 I wanna start a life with you. 00:19:44.840 --> 00:19:46.250 Sarah? 00:19:46.341 --> 00:19:48.630 Go! Go! 00:19:52.222 --> 00:19:54.131 Hi, Daddy. 00:19:58.228 --> 00:20:03.816 Peewee... Marriage is like a business investment. 00:20:03.901 --> 00:20:09.903 Its long-term viability is best established unemotionally. 00:20:09.990 --> 00:20:14.948 Bottom line, Daddy: we love each other. That is all that matters. 00:20:28.550 --> 00:20:30.294 Leezak. 00:20:30.386 --> 00:20:31.549 Good night, sir. 00:20:35.516 --> 00:20:37.971 Congratulations, Mr Leezak! 00:20:38.060 --> 00:20:41.345 Big Daddy Leezak's in the house! 00:20:43.356 --> 00:20:45.929 Oh, I hope she doesn't spook on you, man. 00:20:46.818 --> 00:20:48.360 What do you mean? 00:20:48.445 --> 00:20:53.107 I love Sarah, don't get me wrong. But rich chicks spook. 00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:57.412 A powerful daddy plus family money equals expectations. 00:20:57.495 --> 00:21:00.864 Expectations are like a fungal rot on a marriage. 00:21:01.917 --> 00:21:05.002 Our marriage is not gonna have a fungal rot. 00:21:05.088 --> 00:21:08.955 We're gonna be happily married every day for the rest of our lives. 00:21:10.300 --> 00:21:14.512 Unless she finds out that you slaughtered her dog. 00:21:14.596 --> 00:21:16.504 I'll take that to my grave. 00:21:22.938 --> 00:21:27.481 OK, if you change your mind at the altar, just pass out. 00:21:27.567 --> 00:21:30.106 I'm not going to change my mind. 00:21:30.196 --> 00:21:33.564 OK. I'm just saying, if you do, just hit the floor. 00:21:33.657 --> 00:21:36.279 Thank you. But it's not gonna happen. 00:21:36.911 --> 00:21:39.781 You're sure you're ready to give up your grazing rights? 00:21:39.872 --> 00:21:41.580 I'm not a grazer, Kyle. 00:21:41.666 --> 00:21:44.037 What if you became one later in life? 00:21:44.125 --> 00:21:49.500 I mean, over the next ten years, you're giving up five hayrides per year. 00:21:49.589 --> 00:21:53.801 So I can either be happily married to Sarah, or have 50 one-night stands. 00:21:53.885 --> 00:21:57.634 - Minimum. - That's not even a choice. 00:21:59.307 --> 00:22:02.178 OK, OK, let's move on. 00:22:02.269 --> 00:22:06.053 Are there any chicks you didn't have that you wish you had? 00:22:06.148 --> 00:22:08.437 You are, like, the worst best man ever! 00:22:08.525 --> 00:22:10.185 Peter! 00:22:12.321 --> 00:22:14.810 I can't believe she invited Prentiss. 00:22:14.906 --> 00:22:17.444 - Glad you made it, buddy. - Hey, man. 00:22:17.534 --> 00:22:20.451 Did she ever hook up with that yahoo? 00:22:21.788 --> 00:22:25.572 Nah. They went backpacking in Europe once, just after high school. 00:22:25.666 --> 00:22:28.288 I don't think anything happened. 00:22:28.378 --> 00:22:34.631 Whoa. You're getting married, and she didn't share the roster? 00:22:36.594 --> 00:22:38.635 She shared the roster. 00:22:41.475 --> 00:22:44.725 Merrick... and Bruce. 00:22:49.690 --> 00:22:51.599 What about Prentiss? 00:22:55.572 --> 00:22:58.277 And you never asked again? 00:22:58.366 --> 00:23:01.367 I won. It's irrelevant. 00:23:03.329 --> 00:23:09.202 Oh. OK. As long as you're OK with a bogus roster. 00:23:09.294 --> 00:23:11.964 - It's not a bogus roster! - Is he on or is he off? 00:23:12.047 --> 00:23:13.589 He's... 00:23:14.883 --> 00:23:16.960 - Shut up. - Huh? Huh? 00:23:21.306 --> 00:23:22.883 And you could've had Peter. 00:23:22.974 --> 00:23:25.725 I did have Peter, and it wasn't that hot. OK? 00:23:27.521 --> 00:23:30.011 Excuse me? 00:23:30.106 --> 00:23:33.357 I was in Seattle, helping at an appraisal. 00:23:33.443 --> 00:23:37.061 Ran into Peter. We went out. I drank way too much, 00:23:37.155 --> 00:23:42.031 and before I knew it, we... tussled. 00:23:42.577 --> 00:23:45.198 You bad girl. 00:23:45.830 --> 00:23:49.580 I wanted to tell Tom so many times, but he gets so jealous. 00:23:49.669 --> 00:23:52.502 Listen, it doesn't matter that he doesn't know. 00:23:52.587 --> 00:23:55.373 It's not like you were married, and even if you were... 00:23:55.464 --> 00:23:58.169 No, no, no. It matters to me. 00:23:58.259 --> 00:24:02.091 It's like living a lie. I cannot live a lie. 00:24:02.179 --> 00:24:06.308 There will always be this big fat elephant in the room with us. 00:24:06.392 --> 00:24:09.063 Listen, Peewee, never tell him. 00:24:11.606 --> 00:24:13.231 It's time to go, Sarah. 00:24:14.860 --> 00:24:16.935 Come on. 00:24:18.113 --> 00:24:19.608 - Got everything? - Yes. 00:24:19.698 --> 00:24:20.979 How are you holding up? 00:24:21.075 --> 00:24:24.074 Pussy's a mess. I'm telling you now, be prepared. 00:25:00.738 --> 00:25:02.316 Wait. 00:25:09.205 --> 00:25:10.403 - Oh! Ow. - Ooh! 00:25:10.498 --> 00:25:12.290 - Oh, are you OK? - Yes. 00:25:12.375 --> 00:25:15.459 - Are you all right? - I'm fine. 00:25:15.545 --> 00:25:18.416 This threshold thing isn't as easy as it looks. 00:25:26.598 --> 00:25:30.844 Daddy got the big suite! Yeah, he did! 00:25:38.568 --> 00:25:41.651 We're really married. We're really, really married. 00:25:41.737 --> 00:25:43.813 For ever and ever. 00:25:46.493 --> 00:25:48.699 Do you feel like it? 00:25:48.787 --> 00:25:51.823 I don't know. Do you? 00:25:54.125 --> 00:25:56.617 I'm kinda tired. 00:25:57.754 --> 00:25:59.829 Me too. 00:26:00.923 --> 00:26:03.211 - I mean, hey... - OK. 00:26:14.270 --> 00:26:16.346 What's the matter? 00:26:17.774 --> 00:26:20.977 It's our wedding night, and we don't wanna have sex. 00:26:21.945 --> 00:26:25.064 No... Well, it's OK. 00:26:26.366 --> 00:26:29.616 We're tired. It's fine. 00:26:29.702 --> 00:26:32.371 Baby, it's just that this is our wedding day, 00:26:32.455 --> 00:26:35.325 something I've fantasised about my whole life. 00:26:39.337 --> 00:26:41.792 And now it's over. 00:26:45.927 --> 00:26:49.712 Did you have wedding fantasies when you were a little boy? 00:26:56.020 --> 00:26:57.431 Kinda. 00:26:57.522 --> 00:27:00.013 Oh, honey. 00:27:00.108 --> 00:27:04.485 Oh, my God! Tomorrow my parents are gonna know I'm not a virgin any more! 00:27:04.570 --> 00:27:06.609 Sarah... 00:27:06.697 --> 00:27:09.901 Oh... You haven't been a virgin since college. 00:27:09.993 --> 00:27:14.701 I know. I know. But tomorrow they're gonna know for sure that I'm not a virgin. 00:27:14.789 --> 00:27:19.249 And they're gonna know that you deflowered me. Oh, God! Oh, no! 00:27:19.335 --> 00:27:21.127 - Oh, honey! - Deflowered? 00:27:21.212 --> 00:27:24.213 That's what my mom always called it. My mommy. 00:27:24.299 --> 00:27:26.587 Oh, Sarah. 00:27:26.676 --> 00:27:30.757 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. Hey. 00:27:31.849 --> 00:27:34.885 I love you. OK? 00:27:34.976 --> 00:27:40.100 And we have our entire lives to have sex. 00:27:41.148 --> 00:27:44.730 So it's OK if we don't do it tonight. 00:27:46.446 --> 00:27:48.106 OK? 00:27:50.658 --> 00:27:52.319 Now I kinda feel like it. 00:27:52.410 --> 00:27:54.901 - Really? - Yeah. 00:27:54.995 --> 00:27:56.870 That was a sexy speech. 00:27:56.956 --> 00:28:00.954 I, you know, turn it on every once in a while. 00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:06.957 Oh, bloody nose! Bloody nose! 00:28:07.050 --> 00:28:10.251 Oh, hello, hello! Hello, hello! 00:28:10.343 --> 00:28:12.420 Here you go. 00:28:14.807 --> 00:28:18.674 You've been mine for one night, and you're falling apart already. 00:28:18.769 --> 00:28:21.474 I'm not gonna have to trade ya in, am I? 00:28:22.190 --> 00:28:23.933 OK... 00:28:24.025 --> 00:28:27.725 There you go. Just like that. It'll stop the bleeding. 00:28:30.073 --> 00:28:32.231 I look like a chimp. 00:28:34.244 --> 00:28:36.320 You look gorgeous. 00:28:38.248 --> 00:28:40.655 Let's go to sleep. 00:28:43.252 --> 00:28:46.170 - I love you. - I love you, too, baby. 00:29:39.643 --> 00:29:42.180 Sweetie, our plane leaves in an hour. 00:29:42.270 --> 00:29:44.345 - Argh! Argh! - Ow! 00:29:48.776 --> 00:29:52.310 OK, so that wasn't the smoothest start to a honeymoon. 00:29:53.197 --> 00:29:58.867 But tomorrow we will be at the foot of the Alps at the Hotel des Reves. 00:29:58.953 --> 00:30:01.443 - Yes, we will. - It'll be totally perfect. 00:30:01.538 --> 00:30:04.540 Yes, it sounds totally perfect. 00:30:07.503 --> 00:30:09.580 But I can't wait until then. 00:30:24.520 --> 00:30:26.596 Jimmy-crack-corn! 00:30:32.654 --> 00:30:34.776 Close it, bitch! 00:30:37.617 --> 00:30:40.154 There's a lock on the door for a reason, Junior. 00:30:40.244 --> 00:30:42.818 I'm claustrophobic, OK? 00:30:42.914 --> 00:30:44.076 Do we have a problem? 00:30:44.165 --> 00:30:45.743 - No. - No, no problem. 00:30:45.833 --> 00:30:47.625 - We're just waiting. - Yeah. 00:30:47.710 --> 00:30:49.536 Mm-hm. 00:30:57.469 --> 00:31:01.846 Mexican food. That's an oxymoron. 00:31:07.688 --> 00:31:10.558 Sweet Lord! Where does that come from? 00:31:10.649 --> 00:31:12.642 - Let's just wait. - Oh, my gosh. 00:31:12.734 --> 00:31:16.399 .. has turned on the "fasten seat belt" sign. 00:31:16.488 --> 00:31:18.529 Kindly return to your seats. 00:31:18.616 --> 00:31:22.447 OK... Breathe through your mouth. Breathe through your mouth. 00:31:22.536 --> 00:31:24.825 - No, it's really bad. - Just do it! 00:31:29.209 --> 00:31:30.408 Hurry up! 00:31:34.173 --> 00:31:36.629 OK, OK, let me just... 00:31:37.259 --> 00:31:39.217 Oh! 00:31:44.266 --> 00:31:46.889 This is gonna work. This is gonna work. 00:31:48.103 --> 00:31:51.058 - I'm gonna step on the toilet. - OK, perfect. 00:32:00.574 --> 00:32:03.408 - What? - The crapper's got my foot. 00:32:03.493 --> 00:32:05.451 - Wait. Let me help. - Sarah... 00:32:05.538 --> 00:32:08.159 OK, OK, one, two, three. 00:32:13.755 --> 00:32:15.082 Return to your seats. 00:32:15.172 --> 00:32:17.580 - Be right out. OK, you OK? - Yeah. 00:32:17.675 --> 00:32:20.960 OK, wait. OK, one, two, three. 00:32:21.971 --> 00:32:24.462 Return to your seats now, please. 00:32:24.556 --> 00:32:26.798 Beat it, stew! 00:32:29.227 --> 00:32:30.721 Return... 00:32:34.317 --> 00:32:39.192 Playtime is over, children. Return to your seats! Do you hear me? 00:32:39.280 --> 00:32:40.987 - Let's flush it. - I'll pull. 00:32:45.661 --> 00:32:46.941 I can't get it out! 00:32:47.038 --> 00:32:49.825 The captain has turned on the "fasten seat belt" sign! 00:32:49.916 --> 00:32:52.786 Wait, wait, wait. Here. Ready? One, two, three. 00:33:01.135 --> 00:33:03.969 Mesdames and messieurs... 00:33:04.054 --> 00:33:08.763 - We can tell the grandchildren about that. - Great story for the kids. 00:33:13.480 --> 00:33:15.722 - Bonjour. - How you doing, chief? 00:33:15.817 --> 00:33:18.816 Can we get le car for Leezak? 00:33:20.029 --> 00:33:24.157 Bonjour. Les reservations sont pour LeezaK. 00:33:24.241 --> 00:33:26.318 Oui, mademoiselle. 00:33:26.995 --> 00:33:31.454 - You never told me you spoke French. - It was that summer I went to Europe. 00:33:31.539 --> 00:33:34.991 Ah, here we are. For Mr and Mrs Leezak. 00:33:35.085 --> 00:33:37.327 Must be some mistake, no? 00:33:37.420 --> 00:33:39.497 No, no mistake. Mr and Mrs. 00:33:41.550 --> 00:33:42.629 What the hell? 00:33:42.718 --> 00:33:45.884 - These sports scores are two days old. - So? 00:33:45.971 --> 00:33:49.636 So? You know if I don't have an up-to-date sports section, 00:33:49.725 --> 00:33:52.726 it throws off my day, starting with my morning dump. 00:33:52.811 --> 00:33:56.180 Honey, there's gonna be satellite TV in the hotel. 00:34:00.068 --> 00:34:01.396 Voila. 00:34:01.486 --> 00:34:04.607 Ah. I wonder what kind of wheels we got. 00:34:05.781 --> 00:34:09.483 I'm telling you, this is not the car. I ordered a compact. 00:34:09.578 --> 00:34:11.120 This is a European compact. 00:34:11.204 --> 00:34:15.155 This is a Ringling Brothers compact. I've owned bigger Tonka trucks. 00:34:15.250 --> 00:34:17.492 Honey, I looked at the brochure, 00:34:17.586 --> 00:34:22.414 and there was a Fiesta on the cover, not a Bingo. 00:34:22.508 --> 00:34:27.217 Aw. Baby needs a great big car to make him happy? 00:34:27.304 --> 00:34:30.425 We could really use a Dodge about now. 00:34:30.517 --> 00:34:33.884 We could really use a Dodge about now. 00:34:35.520 --> 00:34:37.015 What was that? 00:34:37.104 --> 00:34:38.978 You just sound so American. 00:34:39.065 --> 00:34:41.983 We could use a Dodge about now. 00:34:42.069 --> 00:34:45.319 While I'm makin' a doody, can you hand me my sports section? 00:34:45.406 --> 00:34:47.398 Thank you very much, ma'am. 00:34:48.533 --> 00:34:50.692 Are you mocking me? 00:34:50.786 --> 00:34:53.241 No. Baby, just floor it. 00:34:53.330 --> 00:34:57.743 I am flooring it. If I pushed any harder, my foot would blow through the floor, 00:34:57.835 --> 00:35:00.076 and we'd be Flintstoning there. 00:35:00.170 --> 00:35:02.329 Ooh, whoa, whoa, turn here! 00:35:10.722 --> 00:35:12.097 - You OK? - Yeah. You? 00:35:12.182 --> 00:35:13.641 Yeah. 00:35:16.395 --> 00:35:21.520 If you'd told me about the turn before, I wouldn't have had to pull such a manoeuvre! 00:35:21.608 --> 00:35:25.273 I was busy looking at the map! Somebody had to navigate. 00:35:32.369 --> 00:35:36.497 Listen to us. We sound like an old married couple. 00:35:38.791 --> 00:35:40.867 Never again. 00:35:47.634 --> 00:35:51.714 Just for the record, why did I almost get us killed back there? 00:35:52.597 --> 00:35:54.720 Because that's our hotel. 00:35:55.976 --> 00:35:59.725 - It looks like a castle. - It is a castle. 00:35:59.813 --> 00:36:02.767 Then that's precisely why it looks like one. 00:36:04.609 --> 00:36:06.353 - Let's go. - OK. 00:36:26.047 --> 00:36:30.591 This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 00:36:32.429 --> 00:36:34.505 Let's go. 00:36:48.236 --> 00:36:52.400 Ohh. Look, baby, look. It comes with free nuns. 00:36:52.491 --> 00:36:54.234 - Bonjour. - Bonjour. 00:36:54.326 --> 00:36:56.532 - Bonjour. Merci. - Bonjour. Merci. 00:36:56.619 --> 00:36:58.280 - Bonjour. - Bonjour. 00:36:58.372 --> 00:36:59.403 Merci. 00:37:00.540 --> 00:37:03.411 - Ah! Bonjour. - Bonjour. 00:37:03.502 --> 00:37:07.500 Merci. Bonjour. Merci. 00:37:07.589 --> 00:37:12.584 Bonjour. Merci. Bonjour. Merci. 00:37:12.677 --> 00:37:14.717 - Vous etes Americains? - Oui. 00:37:14.805 --> 00:37:17.924 Welcome to Hotel des Reves. I am Henri Margeaux. 00:37:18.016 --> 00:37:20.423 Nous sommes Sarah et Tom LeezaK. 00:37:20.519 --> 00:37:21.893 - Leezak, no! - Oui. 00:37:21.978 --> 00:37:23.852 - The honeymooners? - Oui. 00:37:23.938 --> 00:37:26.691 - No! - Oui. Why? 00:37:26.775 --> 00:37:30.523 So fresh and young to have marriage, no? 00:37:30.612 --> 00:37:32.687 No. We're married. 00:37:33.156 --> 00:37:35.826 I almost forget. 00:37:35.910 --> 00:37:38.530 Ooh, presents. 00:37:38.620 --> 00:37:42.072 "Congratulations. Have a wonderful honeymoon. Love... 00:37:42.833 --> 00:37:44.742 Peter. " 00:37:44.835 --> 00:37:47.408 That's a platonic "love". 00:37:49.047 --> 00:37:51.454 Forget about Peter. 00:37:51.550 --> 00:37:53.625 Here. Please enjoy. 00:37:54.802 --> 00:37:57.425 Room, all upstairs. 00:37:57.514 --> 00:38:00.598 Francois, les bagages, en haut. Tout de suite, s"il vous plaitt. 00:38:00.684 --> 00:38:02.012 Oh! 00:38:02.102 --> 00:38:04.308 - Bonjour! - Merci! 00:38:08.817 --> 00:38:12.601 Ohh! Tell me this isn't your fantasy. 00:38:15.282 --> 00:38:17.074 This is better than my fantasy. 00:38:17.158 --> 00:38:19.650 Good, cos we're paying out the ass for it. 00:38:19.744 --> 00:38:22.947 Honey, just for the record, when you talk about money, 00:38:23.039 --> 00:38:28.330 especially it coming out of your heinie, it sort of kills the romance of the moment. 00:38:28.962 --> 00:38:30.752 Right. Sorry. 00:38:33.549 --> 00:38:38.710 Now fight your deep urge to be cheap, and give the bellboy a large tip. 00:38:38.805 --> 00:38:39.968 All right. 00:38:40.056 --> 00:38:44.600 - Hey, do you guys provide satellite TV? - TV in bar. 00:38:46.063 --> 00:38:49.847 - So there's no TV in this room? - TV in bar. 00:38:53.069 --> 00:38:56.153 - Ask him if they have ESPN. - Pour I"amour de Dieu. 00:38:56.239 --> 00:38:59.442 Je lui ai dit, a monsieur, que la tele est dans le bar. 00:38:59.784 --> 00:39:04.327 Je crois que sa femme n"est pas vous. C"est la tele. 00:39:07.125 --> 00:39:09.830 He said the TV's in the bar. 00:39:13.964 --> 00:39:18.710 He also said that if he were here with me, he wouldn't be concerned with TV. 00:39:20.764 --> 00:39:22.259 He makes a point. 00:39:22.349 --> 00:39:26.891 - Oh, I gotta call Mom and Dad. - Talk about killing the romance. 00:39:26.978 --> 00:39:29.895 I told them I'd call. It'll just take a minute. 00:39:31.816 --> 00:39:34.223 Hi, Mom? It's Peewee. 00:39:34.318 --> 00:39:36.146 Oh, say hi to Pussy for me. 00:39:36.237 --> 00:39:37.946 Pussy... 00:39:40.074 --> 00:39:41.652 Tom says hello. 00:39:42.244 --> 00:39:44.817 Yeah. Oh, it's so great. 00:39:46.206 --> 00:39:47.534 Uh-huh. 00:39:47.624 --> 00:39:52.914 "To Tom and Sarah. Enhance thy honeymoon. Love, Kyle. " 00:39:53.505 --> 00:39:55.579 I'll call you later, Mom. Bye. 00:39:56.965 --> 00:40:00.170 Cheese and rice. Is that a Thunderstick A200? 00:40:00.261 --> 00:40:02.134 Since when did you become an expert? 00:40:02.221 --> 00:40:06.468 - I told you about that night I had in college. - Not about the hardware. 00:40:06.559 --> 00:40:08.801 Getting a visual? 00:40:10.230 --> 00:40:12.685 We gotta charge this thing. 00:40:20.574 --> 00:40:25.034 - That plug won't fit in a European outlet. - I'll make it fit. 00:40:28.205 --> 00:40:29.403 Come on. 00:40:29.498 --> 00:40:30.529 Don't force it. 00:40:42.971 --> 00:40:44.844 Are you OK? Are you OK? 00:40:44.931 --> 00:40:49.676 Holy dude Jesus. Good thing that didn't happen when we were using it. 00:40:52.063 --> 00:40:53.178 Oh, God. 00:40:53.273 --> 00:40:56.688 Allez dans la cour, s"il vous plaitt, tout de suite. 00:40:56.776 --> 00:40:59.147 Come on! Come on, Thunderstick! 00:40:59.235 --> 00:41:02.854 - Oh, no. OK, just leave it. - Let's go, let's go, let's go. 00:41:29.851 --> 00:41:34.559 My grandparents installed the wiring in the hotel 00:41:34.647 --> 00:41:37.398 before World War First! 00:41:39.360 --> 00:41:45.363 It worked fine, until you young kids had to bring out your toys and ignore the sign! 00:41:50.914 --> 00:41:53.534 That is the... the... 00:41:53.624 --> 00:41:57.669 - That's in French, for chrissakes. - That's because we're in France. 00:41:57.754 --> 00:42:01.040 - Is there anything we could do? - Pay the damages. 00:42:01.133 --> 00:42:02.508 Hold on there, Jacques. 00:42:02.592 --> 00:42:05.462 Je m"appelle Henri Margeaux. 00:42:05.552 --> 00:42:09.881 Whatever! Look, this hotel gets guests from all over the world. 00:42:09.973 --> 00:42:12.975 It's your responsibility to put American on your signs. 00:42:13.061 --> 00:42:14.388 He means English. 00:42:14.478 --> 00:42:17.100 I'm trying to negotiate. 00:42:17.189 --> 00:42:19.395 So I must make my hotel of dreams 00:42:19.483 --> 00:42:22.520 like every Howard Johnson's, with a bright orange roof? 00:42:22.612 --> 00:42:25.945 - It wouldn't hurt. - Imbecile de cochon d"Americain. 00:42:26.032 --> 00:42:29.234 - Cochon what? - Stupid American pig. 00:42:29.326 --> 00:42:33.194 Oh. Oh, yeah? 00:42:33.289 --> 00:42:36.242 Well, I guess that makes you a stupid French... 00:42:37.168 --> 00:42:38.911 frog! 00:42:39.003 --> 00:42:41.042 Oh, yeah. I said it. Frog! 00:42:41.130 --> 00:42:43.372 Get out of my Hotel des Reves! 00:42:43.465 --> 00:42:46.881 I wouldn't stay in this dump if you paid us! 00:42:47.761 --> 00:42:50.632 - Let's go to the Ho Jo's. - There are no Ho Jo's here. 00:42:50.722 --> 00:42:52.467 Sarah, please! 00:42:52.558 --> 00:42:56.852 There is a farm up the road. And they have a nice pigsty for you! 00:42:56.937 --> 00:43:00.142 Yeah? Maybe they'll have a nice little bulldozer, 00:43:00.233 --> 00:43:03.483 and we can finish this place off, tough guy! 00:43:03.569 --> 00:43:07.068 And the credit bill will be a fat one, Mr Tough Guy! 00:43:07.156 --> 00:43:11.782 Yeah? Well, we're keeping the champagne and the cheese, Jacques-strap! 00:43:13.495 --> 00:43:15.120 Let's go, honey. 00:43:16.916 --> 00:43:18.992 What's wrong? 00:43:20.044 --> 00:43:22.795 Where are we gonna stay, Tom? 00:43:22.879 --> 00:43:26.415 Don't worry. This is a vacation zone. We'll find a place. 00:43:26.509 --> 00:43:28.466 Now get your shit. Let's go. 00:43:29.554 --> 00:43:31.463 What's the next place? 00:43:31.556 --> 00:43:37.595 The next hotel with no vacancy would be Schloss Hilliger Winterswald. 00:43:37.687 --> 00:43:40.640 - How far is it? - 120 kilometres. 00:43:40.731 --> 00:43:42.689 In miles, please! 00:43:42.774 --> 00:43:45.811 74.4. You multiply by 0.6. 00:43:45.903 --> 00:43:49.817 - I'm learning so much. - Oh, me too. Me too. 00:43:56.747 --> 00:43:58.372 Let me guess... 00:44:05.130 --> 00:44:07.704 This is great. This is just what we need. 00:44:07.801 --> 00:44:11.632 - Do you want me to drive? - Honey, I can drive in the snow. 00:44:14.390 --> 00:44:16.677 Turn off your brights, jackass! 00:44:48.840 --> 00:44:53.004 Great. Now we get to freeze to death. 00:44:55.848 --> 00:45:01.353 Look, we'll just... We'll sleep in here and we'll dig out in the morning. 00:45:01.437 --> 00:45:05.435 I'm so glad I get to hear the phrase "We'll dig out" on my honeymoon. 00:45:05.524 --> 00:45:07.351 Yeah. 00:45:10.780 --> 00:45:13.236 Just get it over with now and blame me. 00:45:13.324 --> 00:45:18.318 If you hadn't insulted Henri, we wouldn't be spending the evening in a snowball. 00:45:18.412 --> 00:45:23.999 I'm sorry. Next time, I'll try to be a little bit more refined like your friend Peter. 00:45:24.084 --> 00:45:26.872 - Good night, Tom. - Good night, Sarah. 00:46:02.915 --> 00:46:05.122 Are you gonna hate me for ever? 00:46:05.208 --> 00:46:07.747 Mmm... 00:46:07.836 --> 00:46:11.288 I don't know. Hm... 00:46:14.093 --> 00:46:15.754 Wanna get drunk and make out? 00:46:15.845 --> 00:46:19.629 Well, that's not gonna get me drunk, but we could make out. 00:46:24.978 --> 00:46:28.062 We could get injured doing this. 00:46:28.148 --> 00:46:31.767 I'll settle for a cuddle. Just let me get the shifter out of my ass. 00:46:31.860 --> 00:46:33.936 OK. 00:46:42.830 --> 00:46:45.914 Sarah... It's morning. 00:47:05.644 --> 00:47:07.851 Oh, my God. 00:47:11.483 --> 00:47:13.607 - Oh, my... - Oh, my God. 00:47:13.693 --> 00:47:15.521 It's incredible. 00:47:15.945 --> 00:47:20.443 - Let's just stay here for the rest of the trip. - Fine with me. 00:47:27.749 --> 00:47:29.872 - Hey! Help! - Excuse me! 00:47:29.960 --> 00:47:31.159 Hey! 00:47:34.256 --> 00:47:36.830 Blue car, blue car! 00:47:36.925 --> 00:47:38.799 - Oh. - It worked. 00:48:11.001 --> 00:48:14.833 We can catch the two o'clock train to Venice and go straight to the Gianna. 00:48:14.921 --> 00:48:18.966 - Our reservation isn't until Tuesday. - So we'll stay a few extra days. 00:48:19.051 --> 00:48:21.423 I just put a castle on my credit card. 00:48:21.511 --> 00:48:24.797 We can't afford to stay at the Gianna for a few extra days. 00:48:24.890 --> 00:48:27.891 So I'll call my dad up, and he'll lend us the money. 00:48:27.977 --> 00:48:31.261 No, there's no way I'm taking money from your dad. 00:48:31.354 --> 00:48:33.727 Pride is the crutch of the insecure. 00:48:33.816 --> 00:48:36.650 You are not taking the money. I am taking the money. 00:48:36.735 --> 00:48:40.946 No, we don't need to take the money. This is about us now. 00:48:41.031 --> 00:48:44.815 My dad told me about this nice little pensione in Venice... 00:48:44.910 --> 00:48:46.155 Pensione? 00:48:46.244 --> 00:48:49.365 - GroBes ScheiBhaus. - Excuse me. 00:48:49.457 --> 00:48:51.413 Could you just drive? 00:48:51.499 --> 00:48:53.159 Please just let me call my dad. 00:48:53.251 --> 00:48:56.501 No! This is our honeymoon, not his. 00:48:56.588 --> 00:49:00.289 So it's fine to stay at a pensione that yourfather recommended? 00:49:00.385 --> 00:49:04.333 We're staying at the Pensione Funicello, and we'll have a good time. 00:49:04.428 --> 00:49:08.640 I can't take this any more! Honeymoons are supposed to be all champagne 00:49:08.725 --> 00:49:12.508 and room service and lovemaking! We haven't made love! 00:49:12.603 --> 00:49:15.689 No. What do we get? We get evicted from a five-star hotel 00:49:15.774 --> 00:49:19.641 and, to boot, I'm yelling at you! We're yelling at each other. 00:49:19.736 --> 00:49:24.481 We're not yelling at each other. I'm the one yelling. I'm sorry, I wanna go home. 00:49:24.574 --> 00:49:26.448 Maybe we should go home. 00:49:26.535 --> 00:49:29.950 I know this honeymoon hasn't been perfect, 00:49:30.038 --> 00:49:34.746 but I'm sure the pensione is gonna be fine. Look, we'll check in, sleep late, 00:49:34.834 --> 00:49:38.619 eat pasta, gaze out at the Piazza del... 00:49:39.880 --> 00:49:41.957 something-something. 00:49:42.884 --> 00:49:44.294 It's gonna be heaven. 00:49:54.938 --> 00:49:57.310 - Pensione Funicello? - Si, si. 00:50:01.736 --> 00:50:04.063 - Are you sure this is correcto? - Si, si. 00:50:06.365 --> 00:50:08.157 How bad could it be? 00:50:11.996 --> 00:50:13.870 Aw, crap. 00:50:19.212 --> 00:50:21.288 Hey... 00:50:21.380 --> 00:50:23.623 We're in this together, right? 00:50:25.802 --> 00:50:29.503 Do you have four men staring at your boobies right now? 00:50:30.683 --> 00:50:33.517 Che bella! Vieni qua, ragazza! 00:50:35.228 --> 00:50:36.639 No. 00:51:13.266 --> 00:51:15.092 Yeah, just... 00:51:15.184 --> 00:51:18.849 You know, we'll try it for one night, and if we don't... 00:51:18.938 --> 00:51:21.180 Live. 00:51:21.274 --> 00:51:26.860 .. like it, we'II, you know, go somewhere nicer tomorrow. 00:51:26.946 --> 00:51:28.773 - Grazie. - Grazie. 00:51:36.498 --> 00:51:39.203 This is actually happening! 00:51:43.963 --> 00:51:46.963 We're never gonna forget this honeymoon. 00:51:47.049 --> 00:51:48.248 Mm-mm. 00:52:18.581 --> 00:52:20.289 Sorry. 00:52:22.502 --> 00:52:23.699 Buonasera. 00:52:32.846 --> 00:52:38.718 Di su, di giu, dentro, sopra, fuori, sotto, non ce la faccio piu! 00:52:45.442 --> 00:52:48.015 We can show those paisanos how it's done. 00:52:52.823 --> 00:52:55.528 Cockroach, cockroach, cockroach! 00:52:55.618 --> 00:52:58.109 Oh, honey! Honey, honey! I'll get him! 00:52:58.204 --> 00:53:00.328 OK, OK, OK. 00:53:00.415 --> 00:53:03.451 Let's get outta here, please! 00:53:03.543 --> 00:53:06.033 - We're checking out! - I don't wanna touch it! 00:53:06.128 --> 00:53:08.003 Get it off me! 00:53:12.302 --> 00:53:14.544 Thanks for the help, Daddy. 00:53:15.681 --> 00:53:18.681 I miss you. 00:53:18.765 --> 00:53:20.723 OK. Bye. 00:53:20.810 --> 00:53:22.684 Honey, he wants to talk to you. 00:53:22.769 --> 00:53:27.313 Can't you just tell him thank you from all of us here at the gorgeous Gianna? 00:53:29.402 --> 00:53:31.063 Shh. 00:53:36.535 --> 00:53:38.526 Hello there, Mr McNerney. 00:53:38.619 --> 00:53:42.534 Please bear in mind that our daughter loves him, Dan. 00:53:42.624 --> 00:53:48.828 Listen, Leezak, I don't expect a cracker like you to ever measure up 00:53:48.922 --> 00:53:52.753 to anything approaching what I'd consider a good match for my daughter. 00:53:52.842 --> 00:53:54.668 But I'll tell you what I do expect. 00:53:54.759 --> 00:53:59.387 I expect you to pay me bacK in full just as soon as that silly-ass radio show ofyours 00:53:59.473 --> 00:54:01.679 yields any Kind of reasonable income. 00:54:01.767 --> 00:54:04.057 Goodbye, cracKer. 00:54:05.980 --> 00:54:08.223 Ass-bag! 00:54:08.316 --> 00:54:10.985 - What was that? - He called me a cracker! 00:54:11.069 --> 00:54:13.311 A cracker, honey! 00:54:13.404 --> 00:54:15.481 He did not. 00:54:15.573 --> 00:54:19.868 That surprises you? Your dad hates me. "Well, wonderful, wonderful. " 00:54:19.953 --> 00:54:23.617 He's got your whole family praying that this marriage fails. 00:54:23.706 --> 00:54:26.279 Mom's never said a bad word about you. 00:54:26.375 --> 00:54:30.871 Wow, Pussy's never insulted me! Now I feel loved. 00:54:30.963 --> 00:54:33.454 Like your father's never judged me? 00:54:33.549 --> 00:54:36.668 No, he hasn't. Not once. 00:54:43.225 --> 00:54:45.018 Maybe we should just have sex. 00:54:45.103 --> 00:54:48.803 Call me crazy, but I'm just not in the mood to make love. 00:54:51.109 --> 00:54:55.901 I'm not, either. But we haven't had sex once since we've been married, 00:54:55.988 --> 00:54:59.191 and there is something very, very wrong with that. 00:54:59.282 --> 00:55:02.320 And I have to tell you... It's not funny! 00:55:02.412 --> 00:55:04.736 I'm sorry. 00:55:04.830 --> 00:55:07.156 I'm concerned. 00:55:07.249 --> 00:55:13.252 Let's go to sleep. We'll get a good rest, we'll sightsee tomorrow. 00:55:13.339 --> 00:55:15.415 Be fresh in the morning. 00:55:17.135 --> 00:55:18.759 Fine. 00:55:20.387 --> 00:55:22.761 And then we'll have sex. 00:56:15.568 --> 00:56:19.862 Imagine Ernest Hemingway sitting right over there at the Caffe Florian, 00:56:19.947 --> 00:56:24.693 just sipping a single malt, dreaming up his next masterpiece. 00:56:28.331 --> 00:56:30.538 Those birds are psychotic. 00:56:32.001 --> 00:56:34.835 History doesn't interest you at all, does it? 00:56:34.920 --> 00:56:40.162 Huh? Yeah, it does. I wasn't an art history major, though, so it's not like... 00:56:40.259 --> 00:56:43.841 You don't have to be an art history major to appreciate art. 00:56:43.929 --> 00:56:46.764 - Whoa, whoa. - What? What? 00:56:46.849 --> 00:56:49.007 Do you hear that? 00:56:49.101 --> 00:56:52.851 The bells? No? What is it, honey? 00:56:52.939 --> 00:56:55.015 What? 00:56:55.816 --> 00:56:57.609 - What? - Ahh... 00:56:57.693 --> 00:56:58.892 - What? - Shh! 00:56:58.987 --> 00:57:02.190 What are we listening to? 00:57:03.574 --> 00:57:06.064 What? What? What is it? I can help. 00:57:06.159 --> 00:57:09.410 - It's a message from God. It's a mes... - God? 00:57:09.497 --> 00:57:13.625 There"s a ground ball... 00:57:13.709 --> 00:57:15.582 Jackpot! 00:57:17.505 --> 00:57:20.209 Honey, we still have to see the Tintorettos. 00:57:22.218 --> 00:57:27.461 Oh, the church art is unbelievable, 00:57:27.556 --> 00:57:30.130 but it all kinda looks the same to me. 00:57:31.769 --> 00:57:34.556 You know I love sports. 00:57:34.647 --> 00:57:38.264 I mean, I'm a sports freak. But how often are we in Europe? 00:57:38.359 --> 00:57:41.313 How often are the Dodgers on TV in Europe? 00:57:44.281 --> 00:57:48.860 You're right. You go watch sports. I'll go see the Tintorettos. 00:57:59.212 --> 00:58:00.791 - Honey... - Yeah? 00:58:00.882 --> 00:58:06.089 Is this a loving act of generosity, or am I gonna pay for this later? 00:58:06.929 --> 00:58:09.633 Does it make a difference? 00:58:09.723 --> 00:58:12.927 I'm gonna make this up to you huge. Huge. 00:58:13.019 --> 00:58:16.968 Tonight, everything is your choice. Dinner in a church, if you want. 00:58:22.152 --> 00:58:23.945 - Meet you at the hotel. - Love you! 00:58:24.029 --> 00:58:26.318 I love you. 00:58:54.935 --> 00:58:57.176 Grazie. Grazie, grazie. 00:58:59.064 --> 00:59:01.141 Grazie, goddammit. 00:59:03.777 --> 00:59:05.356 Buongiorno, Fredo. 00:59:05.447 --> 00:59:09.526 Buongiorno, Mr Peter Prentiss. Buongiorno. Come stai? 00:59:09.617 --> 00:59:10.648 Bene, bene. 00:59:11.119 --> 00:59:13.156 Peter? 00:59:13.244 --> 00:59:16.614 - Peewee? What a surprise! - What are you doing here? 00:59:16.707 --> 00:59:18.082 - In Venice? - Yes. 00:59:18.166 --> 00:59:24.419 Nextron's buying out Ferrugia Chocolate, so they sent me in to close the deal. 00:59:24.506 --> 00:59:29.085 - Did you get that cognac I sent you? - Yes. I thought it a tad inappropriate. 00:59:30.053 --> 00:59:32.461 I'm sor... I didn't, uh... 00:59:32.556 --> 00:59:35.261 I'm just trying to be the gallant loser here. 00:59:35.350 --> 00:59:37.510 - Peter... - Why don't we celebrate? 00:59:37.603 --> 00:59:39.809 I'll take you guys to dinner. 00:59:39.897 --> 00:59:42.305 I'm on my honeymoon. 00:59:42.400 --> 00:59:44.854 - My honeymoon. - Right, right, right. 00:59:44.942 --> 00:59:47.149 See? Yeah. 00:59:47.237 --> 00:59:49.692 I can be so thick sometimes. I'm sorry. 00:59:49.781 --> 00:59:53.197 I got a lot of work to do anyway, so I'm going to disappear. 00:59:53.285 --> 00:59:54.778 But you guys have fun. 00:59:54.869 --> 00:59:56.494 Oh... Peter, wait. 00:59:56.580 --> 00:59:58.074 I'm... 00:59:58.165 --> 01:00:00.620 I don't mean to be rude. 01:00:01.668 --> 01:00:03.745 You couldn't be rude if you tried. 01:00:04.505 --> 01:00:07.589 How's the honeymoon? It's good? It's a dream? 01:00:07.675 --> 01:00:09.086 - It's great. - Yeah? 01:00:09.177 --> 01:00:11.881 - Oh, yeah, great. - Where's Tom? 01:00:11.971 --> 01:00:17.594 Oh, he's at the, uh, the church with, uh... with... 01:00:17.684 --> 01:00:22.013 He's a huge history buff. Yeah. 01:00:23.690 --> 01:00:28.767 - It's good you guys share that passion. - Oh, yeah. Yeah. 01:00:29.947 --> 01:00:32.651 Uh, well... Bye. 01:00:41.333 --> 01:00:45.877 Fredo, I need to know where that little signora is at all times. 01:00:46.631 --> 01:00:49.500 Very bold, Mr Prentiss. 01:00:49.591 --> 01:00:51.086 Grazie. 01:00:55.639 --> 01:00:58.390 The Dodgers won! The Dodgers won! 01:00:58.474 --> 01:01:00.551 The Dodgers won, honey. 01:01:01.686 --> 01:01:06.729 See? I knew you were gonna make me pay for watching the game. 01:01:06.817 --> 01:01:10.268 No. No, it's not that. 01:01:11.571 --> 01:01:13.232 We need to talk. 01:01:15.826 --> 01:01:18.069 About what? 01:01:18.162 --> 01:01:20.238 Have you always told me the truth? 01:01:20.330 --> 01:01:23.830 Yeah. Except the time I told you I liked your brother Willie. 01:01:23.917 --> 01:01:26.669 - This is serious. - I am serious. I don't like him. 01:01:26.753 --> 01:01:29.956 - Marriage is built on honesty and trust. - I agree. 01:01:30.048 --> 01:01:33.631 OK. Did you ever do something that you wanted to tell me about, 01:01:33.719 --> 01:01:36.506 but you couldn't because you felt bad about it? 01:01:36.597 --> 01:01:39.468 And the more time went on, the harder it was to tell me, 01:01:39.559 --> 01:01:43.852 and it turned into this big fat lie, so you kept not telling me about it... 01:01:43.938 --> 01:01:46.475 Did you talk to Kyle? 01:01:46.564 --> 01:01:48.973 - No. Why? - No reason. 01:01:49.067 --> 01:01:51.819 - Does he know something I should know? - No. 01:01:51.904 --> 01:01:53.942 - You covered your nose. - I had an itch. 01:01:54.030 --> 01:01:57.481 You were hiding flared nostrils. What do you have to tell? 01:01:59.828 --> 01:02:01.701 OK... 01:02:01.787 --> 01:02:04.244 It's just... 01:02:04.333 --> 01:02:06.741 when Bags died, 01:02:06.836 --> 01:02:11.746 he didn't exactly die the way that I described it. 01:02:11.841 --> 01:02:16.717 Him chasing the squawking pigeons off the balcony? 01:02:16.804 --> 01:02:18.677 That. 01:02:18.764 --> 01:02:20.638 What happened? 01:02:20.725 --> 01:02:24.639 Well... OK, I'm reading my magazine, 01:02:24.728 --> 01:02:27.266 and I'm focusing, and I'm really into it. 01:02:27.355 --> 01:02:30.640 And along comes Bags. He comes trucking over, 01:02:30.733 --> 01:02:35.230 and he starts tugging on my ankle. 01:02:35.321 --> 01:02:38.323 And I was, like, "Bags, I'm... " I was like... 01:02:38.659 --> 01:02:42.027 I think I even said "I'm trying to focus. " 01:02:42.121 --> 01:02:47.826 And he looked up at me and gave me the "Hey, are you gonna play with me or not?" 01:02:47.918 --> 01:02:51.750 I was, like, "Yeah, I really just wanna read, though, Bags. " 01:02:51.838 --> 01:02:55.088 And... and... he started pulling at my ankle again, 01:02:55.175 --> 01:02:59.042 and so I grabbed the ball and I was, like, "Go get it, buddy. " 01:02:59.137 --> 01:03:04.380 I threw the ball over my shoulder, it went out the window, Bags dove, and he died. 01:03:05.476 --> 01:03:07.184 You killed Bags? 01:03:07.270 --> 01:03:10.769 - It was an accident. - And you lied about it all this time? 01:03:11.691 --> 01:03:15.606 - Actually, it was more of an omission. - No, it was more like a lie! 01:03:16.153 --> 01:03:17.732 Where are you going? 01:03:17.823 --> 01:03:21.654 - I have to figure out what to do with this. - What does that mean? 01:03:21.743 --> 01:03:24.495 I can deal with you being cheap and a shitty driver. 01:03:24.579 --> 01:03:27.580 I cannot - not - deal with you being a liar! 01:03:28.625 --> 01:03:31.460 Wait a second. 01:03:31.544 --> 01:03:34.830 This started with you wanting to talk about something. 01:03:34.923 --> 01:03:37.544 Well, I don't wanna talk about it right now. 01:03:38.551 --> 01:03:40.841 So you feel guilty about something, too. 01:03:40.929 --> 01:03:45.472 Yes, there is something I "omitted" that I don't wanna talk about right now. 01:03:45.559 --> 01:03:48.513 You want a marriage based on trust and honesty? 01:03:48.603 --> 01:03:50.929 Well, here's your chance! Come on! 01:03:51.023 --> 01:03:54.142 Yeah, yeah, you got it! I can see it! Bring it! 01:03:54.234 --> 01:03:56.725 I slept with Peter Prentiss. 01:04:02.116 --> 01:04:03.148 What? 01:04:03.243 --> 01:04:06.659 - I slept with Peter... - I heard you. 01:04:06.746 --> 01:04:08.987 - I'm sorry. - I need to hear everything. 01:04:09.081 --> 01:04:11.407 - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. That's what I do. 01:04:11.500 --> 01:04:13.625 I need to know everything. 01:04:13.712 --> 01:04:17.662 Where you were, what he did, how small his wiener was. Everything. 01:04:17.757 --> 01:04:21.755 - I was helping on an appraisal in Seattle... - I don't wanna hear it! 01:04:24.598 --> 01:04:27.385 - You slept with that... - It was a long time ago. 01:04:27.476 --> 01:04:28.804 - When? - Before we... 01:04:28.894 --> 01:04:30.009 - Got married? - Yes! 01:04:30.103 --> 01:04:31.135 - Engaged? - Of course. 01:04:31.229 --> 01:04:34.978 - Got together? - Yes... No, no. 01:04:35.066 --> 01:04:38.482 It was right after we met. My parents were pressuring me to... 01:04:38.569 --> 01:04:42.152 Aha. Imagine my surprise. 01:04:44.492 --> 01:04:47.576 I was confused. I'm in Seattle. 01:04:47.662 --> 01:04:50.865 He asked me out to dinner. The champagne is flowing... 01:04:50.957 --> 01:04:53.283 Please, try not to break into song. 01:04:53.710 --> 01:04:58.870 My feelings for you were very, very strong, 01:04:58.965 --> 01:05:01.374 and I needed to know that they were real. 01:05:01.468 --> 01:05:05.381 I wasn't brought up to manage feelings like that very well. 01:05:05.471 --> 01:05:09.765 Yeah. You had a real tough upbringing. 01:05:13.061 --> 01:05:16.147 - I need some air. - Yeah? Me too. 01:05:16.233 --> 01:05:19.019 Happy now? You broke it. 01:05:19.110 --> 01:05:21.400 By the way, Peter's staying at the hotel. 01:05:21.487 --> 01:05:23.610 That's funny! 01:05:29.412 --> 01:05:31.204 - Hooker! - Murderer! 01:05:52.894 --> 01:05:56.060 - What's the score? - 3-2, top of the ninth. 01:05:59.234 --> 01:06:02.069 Are you American? 01:06:02.154 --> 01:06:03.434 Good guess. 01:06:39.608 --> 01:06:41.600 Where's Tom? 01:06:41.693 --> 01:06:45.108 We don't feel the need to be with each other all the time. 01:06:46.573 --> 01:06:48.149 OK. 01:06:50.910 --> 01:06:55.406 I just find it odd that you're spending so much time apart 01:06:55.498 --> 01:06:57.575 on your honeymoon. 01:07:00.753 --> 01:07:02.877 Are you OK? 01:07:02.965 --> 01:07:06.630 Peter... just go, please. 01:07:08.011 --> 01:07:09.802 Go. 01:07:28.740 --> 01:07:31.230 Sarah, Sarah... 01:07:31.325 --> 01:07:34.909 - Why are you still here? - I won't leave you here like this. 01:07:37.582 --> 01:07:41.580 Listen, I have a car. I'm having a quick drink at a friend's house. 01:07:41.669 --> 01:07:45.039 Just take a ride with me. You know? Catch your breath. 01:07:45.132 --> 01:07:47.206 I'll take you back to Tom. 01:07:54.307 --> 01:07:56.881 - Champagne? - Sure. 01:08:08.404 --> 01:08:10.860 And that"s the ball game! 01:08:13.033 --> 01:08:15.822 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I love this song! 01:08:15.912 --> 01:08:19.955 No, wait, I really shouldn't... I can't... No, listen. 01:08:21.125 --> 01:08:25.074 Bernardo Salviati can actually trace his family back to Machiavelli. 01:08:25.170 --> 01:08:26.416 Huh. 01:08:36.390 --> 01:08:40.340 Oh, wow. That's a big house. 01:08:40.436 --> 01:08:44.269 Nextron's thinking of buying it, turn it into a resort complex. 01:08:56.869 --> 01:08:58.494 Buongiorno, Bernardo! 01:08:58.579 --> 01:09:00.370 Peter, hello. 01:09:00.456 --> 01:09:04.074 Good to see you. Bernardo, Sarah McNerney. 01:09:04.168 --> 01:09:06.243 Ciao, Bernardo. 01:09:07.588 --> 01:09:10.957 Tell me, pretty one, what brings you to Venice? 01:09:11.050 --> 01:09:13.089 Oh, I'm on my honeymoon. 01:09:13.177 --> 01:09:14.636 - Your honeymoon? - Yeah. 01:09:14.721 --> 01:09:18.801 - She's so young to be married. - Why does everyone keep on saying that? 01:09:19.434 --> 01:09:20.893 Where is your husband? 01:09:20.977 --> 01:09:26.564 Oh, I'm going to meet up with him... you know, later. 01:09:27.650 --> 01:09:29.227 Yeah. Yeah. 01:09:29.318 --> 01:09:34.359 I was married for 27 years before my wife passed away. 01:09:34.448 --> 01:09:38.945 Believe me, the first months are the most difficult. 01:09:43.541 --> 01:09:46.245 Bernardo here's a little bit of a romantic. 01:09:48.713 --> 01:09:50.789 I love that. 01:09:51.549 --> 01:09:53.257 Let's have a drink. 01:09:54.009 --> 01:09:55.290 Please. 01:09:55.385 --> 01:09:59.133 You're on the radio? That's awesome! 01:10:00.724 --> 01:10:06.763 So, when are we gonna go back to do the neenoo-neenoo-neenoo? 01:10:07.189 --> 01:10:10.355 Whoa, yeah. I can't do that. 01:10:10.442 --> 01:10:15.519 Don't tell me all the cute conversation and air-humping is leading nowhere. 01:10:16.198 --> 01:10:19.366 No. Oh! 01:10:19.452 --> 01:10:24.612 OK, you mean when are we gonna...? 01:10:24.708 --> 01:10:27.078 Ah! OK. 01:10:27.167 --> 01:10:33.252 All right, so I'm gonna go and hit the... and then we'II... do that thing. 01:10:33.340 --> 01:10:35.914 - Cool. - OK. 01:10:36.010 --> 01:10:38.085 I'll be waiting! 01:10:53.402 --> 01:10:54.565 Whoa! 01:10:57.199 --> 01:10:59.949 And the hits just keep on comin'. 01:11:10.919 --> 01:11:14.704 Ciao. Can I get the key to 309, please? 01:11:14.798 --> 01:11:17.800 And do you know if my wife's up in the room? 01:11:17.885 --> 01:11:21.051 A good husband knows where his wife is at all time. 01:11:22.557 --> 01:11:26.720 And a good maitre d' answers questions when he's asked. 01:11:32.942 --> 01:11:35.348 Look, I'm not gonna pay you for an answer. 01:11:36.403 --> 01:11:38.811 In this case, you should. 01:11:48.916 --> 01:11:53.412 Your wife is in a car on her way to Salviati's... with Mr Prentiss. 01:11:54.129 --> 01:11:56.206 Mr Peter Prentiss? 01:11:59.218 --> 01:12:02.219 Of course. What's Salviati's? 01:12:02.304 --> 01:12:05.673 One of the oldest and most beautiful estates in Venice. 01:12:05.765 --> 01:12:10.013 - Maybe Mr Peter will buy it. - Of course Mr Peter will buy it. 01:12:10.104 --> 01:12:12.772 All right, where is this place? 01:12:17.527 --> 01:12:20.445 You can't go. You will be shot on sight. 01:12:20.531 --> 01:12:22.772 OK. That's... 01:12:22.867 --> 01:12:26.995 Uh, when are they coming back? 01:12:27.080 --> 01:12:30.365 Your wife and Mr Peter are out for the evening. 01:12:30.458 --> 01:12:32.415 You know what? Nah. 01:12:32.502 --> 01:12:37.744 I'm not gonna be waiting here for her when she gets back. 01:12:37.839 --> 01:12:39.631 Oh, no! 01:12:43.595 --> 01:12:47.641 Precipitevolissimevolmente. 01:12:48.685 --> 01:12:51.222 I wanna say that word! 01:12:53.064 --> 01:12:55.139 - Alla tua salute. - Salute. 01:12:55.983 --> 01:12:59.897 Sarah, Sarah. Sarah, maybe we should switch to water, huh? 01:13:04.158 --> 01:13:06.483 I think we should go find Tom now. 01:13:12.916 --> 01:13:15.952 That was the longest freakin' piss in Italian history. 01:13:16.044 --> 01:13:17.872 Hey, Wendy. 01:13:17.963 --> 01:13:22.043 Uh, I couldn't find you in the crowd. 01:13:24.053 --> 01:13:26.543 That's cool. You ready to go? 01:13:28.181 --> 01:13:30.804 Uh, yeah. Listen, um... 01:13:30.893 --> 01:13:35.271 Why don't I just walk you back to your hotel and drop you off? 01:13:35.356 --> 01:13:37.432 That sounds like a plan. 01:13:37.525 --> 01:13:40.193 OK. Um, what hotel are you staying at? 01:13:40.277 --> 01:13:42.352 What hotel are you staying at? 01:13:43.530 --> 01:13:45.606 Uh, the Gianna. 01:13:45.699 --> 01:13:47.987 Oh, my God! Me too! 01:13:48.076 --> 01:13:50.828 Yay. Wow. 01:14:04.468 --> 01:14:05.879 Um... 01:14:06.762 --> 01:14:10.546 Oh, my God. This is like a Twilight Zone. 01:14:10.641 --> 01:14:12.716 I couldn't agree with you more. 01:14:25.447 --> 01:14:27.820 We're here. 01:14:29.700 --> 01:14:33.366 Damn, I don't have my key. Can I use your phone? 01:14:33.455 --> 01:14:35.162 My... my phone? 01:14:35.248 --> 01:14:38.084 Yeah, to call downstairs. For my key. 01:14:41.004 --> 01:14:42.582 Yeah. 01:14:48.470 --> 01:14:52.253 Oh, oh, oh, oh, slow down there. I think you got the wrong room. 01:14:56.728 --> 01:14:58.306 Oh, my! 01:15:00.232 --> 01:15:01.264 Oh, God. 01:15:01.358 --> 01:15:04.229 Insult me, radio man! 01:15:06.072 --> 01:15:08.396 I'm on my honeymoon. 01:15:09.658 --> 01:15:11.486 Eugh. 01:15:11.577 --> 01:15:14.150 Yeah, eugh. 01:15:14.830 --> 01:15:16.906 - I'm telling you... - You pig! 01:15:38.145 --> 01:15:39.936 Grazie. Thank you. 01:15:41.649 --> 01:15:43.772 Grazie. Buonasera. 01:15:47.113 --> 01:15:49.400 What? What? 01:15:49.488 --> 01:15:51.362 - What? - I can't take this any more. 01:15:55.161 --> 01:15:57.237 I'm on my honeymoon! 01:16:01.001 --> 01:16:04.500 Calm down. You were just doing the same thing with Wendy. 01:16:04.588 --> 01:16:06.877 You have no right to be angry. 01:16:06.965 --> 01:16:09.539 - You slut! - Excuse me? 01:16:09.635 --> 01:16:13.134 You had your tongue down his throat. I saw it out the window! 01:16:13.847 --> 01:16:15.591 Did you see me slap him, then? 01:16:15.682 --> 01:16:17.806 Don't give me that. 01:16:17.893 --> 01:16:21.261 Some part of you wants him! Just say it! 01:16:21.354 --> 01:16:25.850 Fine. I'm not gonna lie any more. 01:16:25.942 --> 01:16:29.062 Certain things would be easier, given his background. 01:16:29.153 --> 01:16:33.614 And a small part of me thought that I wanted that once. A very small part. 01:16:37.662 --> 01:16:41.245 Why would you invite him on our honeymoon? 01:16:41.333 --> 01:16:45.200 I didn't invite him. I don't know how he found us. 01:16:45.295 --> 01:16:47.916 Oh, yeah? Well, maybe it was magic. 01:16:48.006 --> 01:16:51.210 No, Peter must be a warlock. 01:16:55.972 --> 01:16:57.431 That's yours. 01:16:57.516 --> 01:17:01.727 Yeah, sure. It matches perfect with my red leather panties! 01:17:03.604 --> 01:17:07.935 OK, I met a woman at a bar. Nothing happened. 01:17:08.027 --> 01:17:12.439 You picked up a total stranger at a bar, brought her back to our honeymoon suite, 01:17:12.530 --> 01:17:14.607 and took off her disgusting red bra? 01:17:14.699 --> 01:17:16.360 Nothing happened, I swear. 01:17:16.452 --> 01:17:20.117 No, the bra just jumped off her bare naked breasts. 01:17:20.204 --> 01:17:21.486 Sarah... 01:17:21.582 --> 01:17:26.823 You sit there and make me feel guilty for a kiss, a kiss that I didn't even want! 01:17:26.919 --> 01:17:29.624 Don't tell me you didn't want it! 01:17:30.464 --> 01:17:34.759 You wanted it! I could see from the balcony that you wanted it! 01:17:37.055 --> 01:17:39.297 I'm sorry. Oh, my God. 01:17:39.391 --> 01:17:41.513 Son of a biatch! 01:17:41.601 --> 01:17:44.306 - Oh, my skull is on fire! - Oh, oh, oh, OK... 01:17:45.647 --> 01:17:47.806 - Who is it? - Room service. 01:17:48.233 --> 01:17:51.649 Just... You just... 01:17:54.365 --> 01:17:56.441 - No, go away! - Listen, I'm leaving. 01:17:56.533 --> 01:17:59.153 Last chance. Come with me to Seattle. 01:17:59.243 --> 01:18:02.659 Hello, Peter. So glad you could join us. 01:18:03.832 --> 01:18:06.952 Welcome to the honeymoon from hell, shitheel! 01:18:07.044 --> 01:18:08.371 What are you doing, Tom? 01:18:08.461 --> 01:18:12.127 I think it's time for Peter and I to tangle! 01:18:12.216 --> 01:18:15.631 - See? You have no future with this lunatic! - Shut up! 01:18:15.719 --> 01:18:17.379 Tom, you're acting crazy! 01:18:17.471 --> 01:18:22.382 Maybe it's cos I just got hit in the head with a ten-pound ashtray! 01:18:22.935 --> 01:18:27.811 I gotta warn you, Leezak. I studied karate with a Chinese grandmaster. 01:18:27.898 --> 01:18:32.559 Yeah? Well, I hope he showed you how to pull a fire poker out of your ass! 01:18:32.652 --> 01:18:34.728 Tom, put the poker down. 01:18:38.617 --> 01:18:41.487 Fredo, call the police! 01:18:41.578 --> 01:18:42.609 Polizia! 01:18:42.704 --> 01:18:44.910 Move, move, move! 01:18:50.962 --> 01:18:53.833 You sat at our wedding! 01:18:53.924 --> 01:18:56.675 You heard us take our vows. 01:18:56.759 --> 01:19:02.098 And you still had the nerve to show up on our honeymoon 01:19:02.181 --> 01:19:04.851 and try to have sex with my wife! 01:19:10.981 --> 01:19:12.227 Run, you coward! 01:19:12.317 --> 01:19:14.393 You stay away from my wife! 01:19:17.030 --> 01:19:18.571 I didn't... 01:19:18.656 --> 01:19:22.903 - Please, stop! That's my husband! - Signorina, si calmi. 01:19:32.128 --> 01:19:34.536 - Maybe they were right. - Who? 01:19:37.092 --> 01:19:41.670 Everyone. They said that we were too young, 01:19:42.472 --> 01:19:45.806 and that we needed to get to know each other better. 01:19:48.311 --> 01:19:50.470 Maybe they were right. 01:19:51.689 --> 01:19:53.481 Maybe love isn't enough. 01:19:56.569 --> 01:20:00.519 Peter Prentiss vi ha pagato la cauzione. 01:20:00.615 --> 01:20:01.730 What did he say? 01:20:01.825 --> 01:20:04.066 Peter just bailed us out. 01:20:06.036 --> 01:20:08.409 Well, that's just jim-dandy. 01:20:10.040 --> 01:20:11.998 Forget it. 01:20:12.084 --> 01:20:14.244 - I'm going home. - Yeah, me too! 01:20:17.757 --> 01:20:20.128 Passports, please. 01:20:20.217 --> 01:20:24.715 Are you leaving with any fruit, vegetables or currency in excess of $10,000? 01:20:24.807 --> 01:20:29.966 No. No, but my husband does have two pounds of hash hidden in his rectum. 01:20:41.571 --> 01:20:47.610 The first sex I had on my honeymoon was with a man named Santino. 01:20:48.830 --> 01:20:50.739 And you're laughing? 01:20:52.291 --> 01:20:55.458 Excuse me, stewardess. Can I...? 01:20:57.088 --> 01:21:00.920 Uh, can I get one of those, uh... 01:21:01.009 --> 01:21:03.714 doughnut pillows? 01:21:04.345 --> 01:21:06.422 Yeah, right away. 01:21:09.058 --> 01:21:11.596 Sweet girl. 01:21:14.313 --> 01:21:16.555 Excuse me. Sorry. 01:21:16.649 --> 01:21:18.024 Argh! 01:21:32.290 --> 01:21:34.995 I feel like we've been married for 50 years. 01:21:35.084 --> 01:21:37.208 Oh, you should be so lucky. 01:21:40.215 --> 01:21:45.172 - Tell me how Peter ended up in our hotel. - Tell me what happened with Red Bra. 01:21:46.094 --> 01:21:48.847 What? What? What are you looking at? 01:21:48.932 --> 01:21:52.929 - I hope you used a rubber. - No, I didn't! It didn't get that far. 01:21:53.018 --> 01:21:55.770 - I hope Peter used one. - They don't sell condoms that big. 01:21:55.855 --> 01:21:58.227 Ha, ha, ha! 01:21:58.316 --> 01:22:01.685 That's funny. You hear that? We got a comedian on the plane. 01:22:01.777 --> 01:22:04.268 - You want me to make you laugh? - Yeah. 01:22:04.364 --> 01:22:07.033 I'm moving out when I get home. How funny is that? 01:22:07.116 --> 01:22:09.572 - Great! - The second we get home. 01:22:09.661 --> 01:22:11.487 - I'm done talking now. - Me too. 01:22:14.164 --> 01:22:16.951 And that was it. Game over. 01:22:29.389 --> 01:22:31.761 - What's up? - She came to the apartment. 01:22:31.850 --> 01:22:33.888 - Is she there now? - No, she left. 01:22:34.602 --> 01:22:37.390 - Did she say anything? - She took all her stuff. 01:22:38.188 --> 01:22:40.265 That can't be good. 01:22:41.568 --> 01:22:43.856 Oh, and she left you this. 01:22:44.237 --> 01:22:45.814 What's that? 01:22:50.617 --> 01:22:52.076 Beer? 01:22:52.786 --> 01:22:58.954 Come on, man. You're getting divorced. Breakfast beer is a must. 01:23:01.003 --> 01:23:04.123 - I need to talk to my dad. Give me a lift? - Sure. 01:23:08.136 --> 01:23:11.256 Gonna tell me what you're chewing on? 01:23:13.391 --> 01:23:15.882 I just don't know if love is enough any more. 01:23:15.977 --> 01:23:18.847 What do you mean, "enough"? 01:23:18.937 --> 01:23:23.813 I mean, even if Sarah and I do love each other, 01:23:25.069 --> 01:23:28.403 maybe we did need more time to get to know each other. 01:23:31.783 --> 01:23:36.944 So... what you're saying here is 01:23:37.039 --> 01:23:41.785 you had a couple of bad days in Europe, and it's over. 01:23:43.963 --> 01:23:46.086 Time to grow up, Tommy. 01:23:47.800 --> 01:23:52.461 Some days your mother and me loved each other. Other days we had to work at it. 01:23:53.514 --> 01:23:56.515 You never see the hard days in a photo album. 01:23:57.226 --> 01:24:01.889 But those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next. 01:24:03.857 --> 01:24:09.730 I'm sorry your honeymoon stunk, but that's what you got dealt. Now work through it. 01:24:11.240 --> 01:24:16.068 Sarah doesn't need a guy with a fat wallet to make her happy. 01:24:16.161 --> 01:24:21.453 I saw how you love this girl. How you two lit each other up. 01:24:23.544 --> 01:24:26.497 She doesn't need any more security than that. 01:24:31.635 --> 01:24:32.963 Thanks, Dad. 01:24:34.346 --> 01:24:36.422 Is it over? 01:24:38.267 --> 01:24:40.259 Not even close. 01:24:46.817 --> 01:24:50.187 What you do here, Tom Leezak? You no allowed here no more. 01:24:50.280 --> 01:24:52.071 Open the gates, jack-in-the-box. 01:24:52.156 --> 01:24:55.903 Me no jack-in-box! You jack-in-box! Go away now! 01:24:55.992 --> 01:24:58.662 Don't make me break my foot off in your ass. 01:24:58.746 --> 01:25:01.283 Look, Yuan, I just need to talk to her. 01:25:01.372 --> 01:25:04.374 Relationship over. She no like you any more. 01:25:04.460 --> 01:25:07.377 - Open the goddamn gate! - Shut up, Kyle! 01:25:07.463 --> 01:25:10.583 Look, Yuan, did she actually say those words to you? 01:25:10.675 --> 01:25:14.090 She say you have KiKiwith bimbo. Same thing. 01:25:15.388 --> 01:25:17.795 We are not leaving this intercom. 01:25:17.890 --> 01:25:22.303 until Sarah herself confirms that she is shitcanning Tom! 01:25:23.562 --> 01:25:24.641 We're not. 01:25:24.730 --> 01:25:30.234 All right, that is damn straight! This is my wife! Now open up the gate! 01:25:30.319 --> 01:25:32.608 Can't we give the guy a chance to explain? 01:25:32.696 --> 01:25:34.736 Don't even think about it, Dickie. 01:25:35.323 --> 01:25:38.988 Either you're gonna open the gate, or I'm gonna open the gate. 01:25:39.077 --> 01:25:40.620 Either way, I'm coming in! 01:25:41.538 --> 01:25:46.247 - We'll sic the hounds on you, Leezak! - Bring "em on, Willie! 01:25:58.807 --> 01:25:59.836 What's going on? 01:25:59.931 --> 01:26:03.431 You leave me no choice! I"m gonna have to ram the gate! 01:26:03.519 --> 01:26:05.677 Oh, I am so down with that! 01:26:08.398 --> 01:26:10.272 - What we do now? - Call the cops. 01:26:11.944 --> 01:26:14.020 We call SWAT team on your ass! 01:26:14.447 --> 01:26:20.484 I"m ramming the gate! I don"t Know ifyou"re hearing, but I am going to ram your gate! 01:26:21.620 --> 01:26:25.452 - What is the commotion in here? - Tom ram gate. 01:26:32.380 --> 01:26:34.124 What the hell is this? 01:26:34.550 --> 01:26:36.837 It's go time. 01:26:54.570 --> 01:26:56.314 That is one strong gate. 01:27:00.410 --> 01:27:01.441 Tom? 01:27:16.258 --> 01:27:22.131 LooK, Yuan, Willie, whoever else is listening... 01:27:22.223 --> 01:27:27.098 You don"t want me to be with Sarah, and I can"t change that. 01:27:27.186 --> 01:27:33.141 I don"t Know where we"re gonna be in ten, 20, 40 years. 01:27:33.233 --> 01:27:35.226 I don't know who we're gonna be. 01:27:35.319 --> 01:27:39.317 I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to give her all of this. 01:27:40.448 --> 01:27:44.577 There are a million things that I don"t Know. 01:27:45.204 --> 01:27:48.039 But there's one thing that I do. 01:27:48.123 --> 01:27:51.123 And that's that I love Sarah. 01:27:51.209 --> 01:27:55.754 And I am going to love her day in and day out 01:27:55.839 --> 01:27:58.128 for the rest of my life. 01:28:00.219 --> 01:28:02.507 Now, will you please... 01:28:03.597 --> 01:28:05.673 please... 01:28:07.059 --> 01:28:11.138 open the gate so I can tell that to my wife. 01:28:35.671 --> 01:28:38.162 I'm sorry, man. 01:28:38.882 --> 01:28:43.461 Sometimes when it's over, it's just... over. 01:29:05.158 --> 01:29:08.860 Drop the love bomb, baby! Yeah! 01:29:14.751 --> 01:29:16.542 Now do you get it? 01:29:19.131 --> 01:29:21.372 I love him, Daddy. 01:29:22.717 --> 01:29:24.840 Then go get him. 01:29:55.250 --> 01:29:57.409 - Hi. - Hi. 01:30:00.714 --> 01:30:02.956 - I'm sorry. - Me too. 01:30:04.676 --> 01:30:07.215 I miss you. 01:30:07.304 --> 01:30:09.795 I miss you, too. 01:30:10.432 --> 01:30:13.802 I miss wrecking airplane bathrooms with you. 01:30:13.894 --> 01:30:16.466 I miss sleeping with you inside a snowball. 01:30:18.398 --> 01:30:21.482 And torching hotels in Europe. 01:30:23.445 --> 01:30:27.525 I miss doing time in prison with you. 01:30:38.001 --> 01:30:40.918 - Do you wanna try to...? - Definitely. 01:30:40.942 --> 01:31:00.942 Telegram Channel and Instagram Page .:: @bollbolljan_com ::.