﻿WEBVTT

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..:: Presented By ZarFilm Website ::..
.::  www.bolboljan.net ::.

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You must do something.
Baby's coming.

00:01:00.770 --> 00:01:04.607
Yeah, I know. Miss, you have to
stay calm and take deep breaths.

00:01:04.690 --> 00:01:06.484
Myra. I need a doctor here now.

00:01:06.567 --> 00:01:09.528
- I'm working on it.
- You're not doctor?

00:01:09.612 --> 00:01:11.947
- I'm a nurse.
- You are man and you are nurse?

00:01:12.031 --> 00:01:14.241
What kind of man is nurse?

00:01:14.325 --> 00:01:17.787
Look, folks. I'm a professional, OK?
I know what I'm doing.

00:01:17.870 --> 00:01:20.623
Trust me, everything's going to be fine.

00:01:20.706 --> 00:01:22.917
Yeah.
Yeah, you're fully dilated.

00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:25.169
Hey. I need that doctor right now.

00:01:25.252 --> 00:01:28.839
There are no free doctors.
You'll have to deliver the baby.

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I can see a head.

00:01:31.634 --> 00:01:34.054
Holy shit.

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Check it out. We did it.

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We had a boy.

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A boy. You're my hero.

00:01:50.237 --> 00:01:53.615
- I name a baby for you.
- You don't have to do that.

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I must. It's a Latvian tradition.
We will name the baby...

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You've reached the Fockers.
We're not around,

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so leave a message. Goodbye.

00:02:14.387 --> 00:02:17.682
Roz. How the hell
do you shut this thing off?

00:02:17.765 --> 00:02:19.851
I have no idea. Just press a button.

00:02:19.934 --> 00:02:23.062
I'm pretty sure it's off.
Honey, you want a chimichanga?

00:02:23.146 --> 00:02:26.482
- They give you gas.
- A little, but it's worth it.

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For you.
I'm the one that gets the fumes.

00:02:28.860 --> 00:02:32.113
- I'm in the mood for a chimichanga.
- So make a...

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Hey, guys, it's me.

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Dad, I told you six months ago
to change that message.

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I'm calling to double check,
cos I didn't hear from you.

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Pam and I are flying out
to Oyster Bay today,

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then to Miami tomorrow
with the Byrneses.

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We get in at 7.30. That should
put us at the house around 9.00.

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So give me a call back
on my cell.

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I want to go over a few things
with you about Pam's dad and

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some other stuff for the weekend.
Love you. Bye.

00:02:57.848 --> 00:03:00.059
- Hey.
- Morning. How was your shift?

00:03:00.142 --> 00:03:02.061
- Guess what.
- What?

00:03:02.144 --> 00:03:04.772
- I delivered my first baby.
- No way.

00:03:04.855 --> 00:03:07.733
- Honey, I'm so proud of you.
- It was incredible.

00:03:07.816 --> 00:03:11.862
I mean, just to be pulling
this life force out of this woman's...

00:03:11.945 --> 00:03:15.908
You know. It was just so...
The whole baby thing is...

00:03:15.991 --> 00:03:18.744
- It's so cool.
- That's great, honey.

00:03:18.827 --> 00:03:21.121
- That's great.
- So, you ready to go?

00:03:21.205 --> 00:03:23.332
- I want to get to the airport.
- In a sec.

00:03:23.415 --> 00:03:25.918
- Things always go wrong.
- We have four hours.

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I wish we could set a wedding date
without our parents meeting.

00:03:29.546 --> 00:03:31.548
This weekend is going to be fine.

00:03:31.632 --> 00:03:34.802
- Your parents are great.
- They're great in small doses.

00:03:34.885 --> 00:03:39.431
48 hours in Coconut Grove is a small
dose. Besides, you've won over my dad.

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And that is the hard part.

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It is true. I am still in the
Byrnes family Circle of Trust.

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You're firmly in the Circle.

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Finally.

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- Taxi.
- Taxi.

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- You going to the airport?
- Yeah.

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- Take mine.
- All right.

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Great.

00:04:08.920 --> 00:04:11.464
- Nice guy, huh?
- Yeah.

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You two, you're up.

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- Oh, dear.
- What?

00:04:56.928 --> 00:04:59.890
Well, they overbooked coach.

00:04:59.973 --> 00:05:03.477
So what does that mean?
Do we miss our flight, or...

00:05:03.560 --> 00:05:07.230
Well, we are gonna
have to upgrade you to first class.

00:05:07.314 --> 00:05:09.566
Really?

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Thank you.

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Sir, why don't you
let me take that for you?

00:05:18.533 --> 00:05:20.452
OK. Yeah.

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You wanna check it? Or put it
on another flight? That's cool.

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Just gonna store it
in the captain's closet.

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- That was nice.
- Yeah.

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- Champagne?
- Thank you.

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- Champagne, sir?
- Thank you.

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Enjoy.

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Would you like to purchase
rental insurance, Mr Focker?

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No.

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- Thanks.
- No?

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It's a scam.
That's how they make all their money.

00:05:59.908 --> 00:06:01.994
That's true. You don't need it.

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Get outta here.

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The house of Byrnes.

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A lot of good memories here.

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Mom? Dad?

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I am watching you.

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Almost.

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But you have to do it
with two fingers,

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one on each eye, like this.

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I am watching you.

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We'll get back to that later.
Guess who's here?

00:06:46.248 --> 00:06:49.084
It's Professor Einstein.

00:06:49.168 --> 00:06:51.920
Hi, Little Jack.
You are a genius.

00:06:52.004 --> 00:06:54.798
I see a Nobel Prize in your future.
Yes, I do.

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Study break, boys.
Company's here.

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- Pamcake.
- Flapjack.

00:07:03.098 --> 00:07:05.225
Short stack,
short stack, coming up.

00:07:05.309 --> 00:07:08.145
Put some syrup in the cup.

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That's how it goes, right?

00:07:15.320 --> 00:07:16.738
That's OK, Greg.

00:07:16.821 --> 00:07:19.324
- Nice to see you.
- Yes.

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- Nice to see you, Grandpa.
- Yeah.

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My goodness. How did my nephew
get so big? Look at you.

00:07:26.831 --> 00:07:30.001
- You look just like your mommy.
- He does, doesn't he?

00:07:30.085 --> 00:07:33.838
Hey, this is Greg.
Remember we talked about him?

00:07:40.720 --> 00:07:43.807
Sorry, Greg.
The card only comes in one gender.

00:07:44.516 --> 00:07:46.601
Yeah, no, that's all right.

00:07:47.602 --> 00:07:49.312
He's taking you in.

00:07:49.396 --> 00:07:52.065
He has a very keen sense
for people, Greg.

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A chip off the old block, huh?

00:07:55.443 --> 00:07:57.696
Might have another CIA man
on our hands.

00:07:57.779 --> 00:08:00.615
I'd be discreet about my profession
if I were you.

00:08:00.699 --> 00:08:04.160
As far as your parents are concerned,
I'm a horticulturalist.

00:08:04.244 --> 00:08:07.247
Are Deb and Bob house-sitting
while we're in Florida?

00:08:07.330 --> 00:08:08.832
No, they're in Thailand,

00:08:08.915 --> 00:08:11.835
visiting the clinic
they opened on their honeymoon.

00:08:11.918 --> 00:08:14.129
What is all this stuff, anyway?

00:08:14.212 --> 00:08:17.008
After Denny was sent away
to military school,

00:08:17.091 --> 00:08:21.137
your father turned this into
a learning laboratory for you-know-who.

00:08:21.220 --> 00:08:24.390
Can't you talk yet,
Mr Munchkin Head, you little...

00:08:29.645 --> 00:08:33.065
Greg, Greg, don't infantilise him.
Talk to him like an adult.

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Muskrat.

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- Muskrat, Jack.
- Right.

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Try to understand, he's a little person.

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His communication skills aren't verbal
yet, but he understands. Observe.

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LJ, are you hungry?

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Look at that.

00:08:55.839 --> 00:09:01.094
"I would like to eat more, please."

00:09:01.178 --> 00:09:05.557
"I'd like a nap, and then later
I'll enjoy a nice poop."

00:09:10.479 --> 00:09:12.981
I've heard about
this baby signing stuff.

00:09:13.065 --> 00:09:15.567
This is, like, cutting edge.
Like... yeah.

00:09:15.650 --> 00:09:18.487
At his age, Greg,
his mind is like a sponge.

00:09:18.570 --> 00:09:20.614
But when he reaches your age,

00:09:20.697 --> 00:09:23.910
his mind will be less capable
of absorbing information.

00:09:23.993 --> 00:09:26.496
He's so cute. Can I hold him?

00:09:26.579 --> 00:09:29.082
I don't think that's
such a good idea, Greg.

00:09:29.165 --> 00:09:31.000
Muskrat.

00:09:32.502 --> 00:09:34.712
All right. All right.

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This is Greg.
Greg will not drop you. OK?

00:09:39.842 --> 00:09:41.177
OK.

00:09:41.260 --> 00:09:44.263
- Be careful.
- Hello. Hello.

00:09:47.183 --> 00:09:49.268
I think he likes me.

00:09:49.352 --> 00:09:50.812
No?

00:09:52.063 --> 00:09:54.440
- Shit.
- Focker.

00:09:54.524 --> 00:09:56.025
He's absorbing you.

00:09:56.109 --> 00:09:58.861
I don't want his first word
to be a profanity.

00:09:58.945 --> 00:10:02.740
It's OK. Cover your nose.
You're terrifying him.

00:10:02.824 --> 00:10:05.660
- I'll get a towel.
- Focker.

00:10:05.743 --> 00:10:08.454
Cool how your dad's
so into being a grandparent.

00:10:08.538 --> 00:10:12.500
I think it freaks my mom out. He spends
every last second with that kid.

00:10:14.627 --> 00:10:16.170
Oh, my God.

00:10:17.588 --> 00:10:19.382
Daddy?

00:10:20.842 --> 00:10:23.177
Daddy, what is this thing?

00:10:23.261 --> 00:10:25.096
A custom-designed motor coach.

00:10:25.179 --> 00:10:27.849
Jack calls it the
"Highlight of our Twilight".

00:10:30.518 --> 00:10:33.772
- This is incredible.
- Isn't it?

00:10:35.941 --> 00:10:37.484
It's like a tank.

00:10:37.568 --> 00:10:41.530
In these uncertain times,
I opted for a Kevlar-reinforced hull

00:10:41.613 --> 00:10:44.366
with two-inch thick Plexiglas windows,

00:10:44.450 --> 00:10:47.202
like on the Russian
Widowmaker submarines.

00:10:47.286 --> 00:10:49.997
I want you to conduct
a field test for us, Greg.

00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:54.418
I want you to demonstrate the
impregnable outer skin of the coach.

00:10:54.501 --> 00:10:56.587
Throw it at the window.

00:10:57.546 --> 00:11:00.549
Jack. I'm not gonna throw
a brick at your window.

00:11:00.632 --> 00:11:02.676
- It's a simple demonstration.
- No.

00:11:02.760 --> 00:11:05.764
- Throw the brick, Greg.
- OK. Just...

00:11:05.847 --> 00:11:07.599
- All your might.
- All right.

00:11:14.856 --> 00:11:18.026
Don't worry. Your rental insurance
will take care of it.

00:11:18.109 --> 00:11:19.152
Jack?

00:11:19.235 --> 00:11:22.572
Come on.
We'll call a tow truck from the road.

00:11:22.655 --> 00:11:26.201
- The road?
- Yeah, we're driving this to Miami.

00:11:26.284 --> 00:11:28.411
I thought we were flying tomorrow.

00:11:28.495 --> 00:11:32.248
No. Airline travel being what
it is these days, so unreliable,

00:11:32.332 --> 00:11:36.086
I'll feel more comfortable knowing
I have my own Posturepedic bed,

00:11:36.169 --> 00:11:38.756
my own thermostat,
my own lavatory facility.

00:11:39.590 --> 00:11:42.051
So we're all gonna be in this together?

00:11:42.134 --> 00:11:46.472
We hit the road in exactly
seven minutes, 27 seconds.

00:11:46.555 --> 00:11:50.726
This way we'll get in early, spend
an extra half-day with your parents.

00:11:50.810 --> 00:11:53.521
- Isn't that great?
- That is great.

00:11:53.604 --> 00:11:55.773
...but I'm the one
that gets the fumes.

00:11:55.856 --> 00:11:59.318
- I'm in the mood for a chimichanga.
- So make a...

00:11:59.402 --> 00:12:02.196
Hey, guys, it's me.

00:12:02.279 --> 00:12:05.616
I'm getting worried that
I haven't heard back from you.

00:12:05.700 --> 00:12:09.829
There's been a little change of plans.
We're coming down in Jack's RV.

00:12:09.912 --> 00:12:13.624
We'll be arriving tomorrow afternoon,
not tomorrow night.

00:12:13.708 --> 00:12:17.670
OK, tomorrow afternoon. And they're
bringing their little grandson.

00:12:17.753 --> 00:12:22.299
So... He's a baby,
so... I don't know.

00:12:23.426 --> 00:12:25.553
Welcome aboard, me hearties.

00:12:25.636 --> 00:12:27.263
This is incredible.

00:12:27.346 --> 00:12:30.182
- It's as big as our apartment.
- Pretty neat, huh?

00:12:34.478 --> 00:12:37.523
Mr Jinx finally learned
how to flush the toilet, huh?

00:12:37.606 --> 00:12:42.695
Yeah, Jack installed a special flusher
and he learned in about two days.

00:12:42.778 --> 00:12:44.739
Hey there, Jinxy.
How are you doing?

00:12:49.536 --> 00:12:52.247
Ready to hit the road, Co-Captain?

00:12:53.540 --> 00:12:56.585
- I'm the co-captain?
- Let's set sail, sailor.

00:13:00.380 --> 00:13:02.174
Good afternoon.

00:13:02.257 --> 00:13:04.384
This is Captain Jack Byrnes speaking.

00:13:05.052 --> 00:13:07.095
- Daddy.
- A quick announcement.

00:13:07.179 --> 00:13:09.473
As a courtesy to fellow passengers,

00:13:09.556 --> 00:13:13.060
the on-board lavatory
should be used for number one only.

00:13:13.143 --> 00:13:15.062
Should a need for number two arise,

00:13:15.145 --> 00:13:17.898
we'll stop at a rest stop
or a heavily wooded area.

00:13:17.981 --> 00:13:19.984
Thank you. Welcome aboard.

00:13:20.068 --> 00:13:24.655
I like that thing. You mind
if I make a little announcement?

00:13:24.739 --> 00:13:27.867
Well, only the captain
gets to make an announcement.

00:13:29.619 --> 00:13:31.496
Do you want to honk the horn?

00:13:32.955 --> 00:13:33.998
Sure.

00:13:34.082 --> 00:13:36.209
Only the captain gets to honk the horn.

00:13:44.258 --> 00:13:45.635
Look.

00:13:45.718 --> 00:13:47.220
Hey, Jinxy. See that?

00:13:53.142 --> 00:13:55.479
LJ, are you hungry,
do you want some milk?

00:13:59.858 --> 00:14:02.111
Hey, Jack.

00:14:03.195 --> 00:14:05.864
- She wants you to honk the horn.
- Not interested.

00:14:06.657 --> 00:14:09.118
Rules of the road.
She honks, you honk.

00:14:09.201 --> 00:14:12.413
Come on, Jack. Give her a honk.

00:14:12.496 --> 00:14:14.373
There you go.

00:14:14.456 --> 00:14:17.543
Yeah. Hey. Looks like a team
or something.

00:14:17.626 --> 00:14:20.963
"Honk if you're horny."

00:14:28.220 --> 00:14:30.347
Thanks for that, Greg.

00:14:37.521 --> 00:14:39.023
I'm the one that gets the fumes.

00:14:39.106 --> 00:14:41.942
- I'm in the mood for a chimichanga.
- So make a...

00:14:47.740 --> 00:14:49.408
Hey, there.

00:14:50.325 --> 00:14:52.703
No hard feelings, all right?

00:14:52.786 --> 00:14:54.663
Friends?

00:14:54.747 --> 00:14:57.041
What's that?
What are you saying?

00:14:57.124 --> 00:15:00.419
Wait a minute. What does this mean?
I know what this means.

00:15:00.502 --> 00:15:03.089
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. Poop.

00:15:03.173 --> 00:15:05.967
You gotta poop? OK. Good.
Thank you for warning me.

00:15:06.051 --> 00:15:09.512
Everybody poops. Sometimes it hurts.
It's OK. Just let it...

00:15:09.596 --> 00:15:11.931
Let it come out.

00:15:12.015 --> 00:15:14.893
- What did you do?
- Nothing. I think he has to poop.

00:15:14.976 --> 00:15:17.854
That's not the sign for poop.
It's the sign for milk.

00:15:17.937 --> 00:15:20.982
- This is the poop sign.
- What's the sign for sour milk?

00:15:21.066 --> 00:15:23.151
This tastes a little funky.

00:15:23.234 --> 00:15:25.779
Because that's from
Debbie's left breast.

00:15:31.117 --> 00:15:34.204
She pumped for a week
to give us enough for the trip.

00:15:34.287 --> 00:15:38.667
- OK, snack pack for Little Jack.
- What are you doing there?

00:15:38.751 --> 00:15:41.045
During the breast-feeding stage, Greg,

00:15:41.128 --> 00:15:44.465
infants can get confused
when separated from their mothers.

00:15:44.548 --> 00:15:48.886
So I invented something to ease
LJ's anxiety during chow time.

00:15:51.430 --> 00:15:54.266
I call it the Manary Gland.

00:15:54.350 --> 00:15:57.812
I had it made from an exact cast
of Debbie's left bosom.

00:16:00.481 --> 00:16:02.525
Oh, yeah. OK.

00:16:02.608 --> 00:16:06.153
It's been so effective,
I'm thinking of getting it patented.

00:16:06.237 --> 00:16:08.865
- Would you like to touch it?
- I wouldn't.

00:16:08.949 --> 00:16:12.285
- Feel how soft it is.
- I can see how soft it is from here.

00:16:12.369 --> 00:16:15.163
- No, feel it, Greg.
- It looks... Yeah.

00:16:15.247 --> 00:16:17.332
Just feel the breast, Greg.

00:16:19.209 --> 00:16:22.504
- Just...
- Watch the nipple. Just around here.

00:16:22.587 --> 00:16:24.673
The nipple is his.

00:16:26.383 --> 00:16:31.221
Oh, yeah.
It's got a great, lifelike kinda...

00:16:31.304 --> 00:16:34.850
Or what I would imagine
Debbie's breast might feel like.

00:16:34.933 --> 00:16:37.394
Not that I would know.

00:16:43.442 --> 00:16:45.235
Greg?

00:16:45.318 --> 00:16:47.237
What?

00:16:47.320 --> 00:16:51.533
You promised you wouldn't take
the boob out in front of company.

00:16:51.616 --> 00:16:54.995
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Breast-feeding is natural.

00:16:55.078 --> 00:16:57.873
Dad, that's not natural,
that's just weird.

00:16:58.790 --> 00:17:02.210
As soon as Little Jack's topped off,
we're gonna hit the road.

00:17:03.253 --> 00:17:06.465
Oh, Jack.
You can't drive any more.

00:17:06.548 --> 00:17:09.968
Dr Monroe said
no aggravating your sciatica.

00:17:10.052 --> 00:17:12.012
We're on a precise schedule.

00:17:12.095 --> 00:17:15.599
We bunk here tonight, we hit
horrendous traffic in the morning.

00:17:17.602 --> 00:17:19.270
- Greg?
- Yeah?

00:17:19.645 --> 00:17:21.731
Maybe you can drive
the night shift.

00:17:21.814 --> 00:17:24.150
I could do that.
I am the co-captain.

00:17:24.233 --> 00:17:28.237
So I think that falls under
my responsibilities, right?

00:17:28.321 --> 00:17:30.907
- Keep her at 55. Stay alert.
- Yeah.

00:17:30.990 --> 00:17:33.618
I want to get behind the wheel
of this big boy.

00:17:39.457 --> 00:17:42.001
You got it. Pass.

00:17:44.545 --> 00:17:48.049
Sorry. Gotta go 55.
Captain Jack's orders.

00:18:06.276 --> 00:18:10.072
- Would you like some company?
- Yeah, sure. You can't sleep?

00:18:10.155 --> 00:18:12.241
Have a seat.

00:18:21.250 --> 00:18:25.130
- How about a cappuccino?
- You don't have to do that.

00:18:25.213 --> 00:18:29.008
- It's no problem for me.
- Really? Yeah? OK.

00:18:29.092 --> 00:18:32.762
Dina. Wake up
and make Greg a cappuccino.

00:18:32.846 --> 00:18:35.223
Shake a leg, woman.

00:18:35.306 --> 00:18:38.518
Jesus. You know what,
I'm not that tired. Really. It's...

00:18:38.601 --> 00:18:41.646
Relax, Greg.
This cockpit's completely soundproof.

00:18:41.730 --> 00:18:44.232
You should have seen
the look on your face.

00:18:44.315 --> 00:18:47.944
OK. You got me.
That was a good one.

00:18:48.028 --> 00:18:49.988
Yes, it was. Yes.

00:18:50.864 --> 00:18:52.699
That's funny.

00:18:52.782 --> 00:18:56.745
But you should never talk to a woman
like that. It's disrespectful.

00:18:56.828 --> 00:19:00.665
- Right. Of course. Yeah.
- Greg.

00:19:00.749 --> 00:19:04.252
A man reaches an age
when he realizes what's truly important.

00:19:05.378 --> 00:19:07.422
And you know what that is?

00:19:07.505 --> 00:19:11.509
Love and friendship?

00:19:12.343 --> 00:19:16.181
Enjoying the moment?
Living, just... Love.

00:19:17.390 --> 00:19:19.809
- His legacy.
- That too. Right. Yeah, sure.

00:19:19.893 --> 00:19:23.104
Now, my grandson, Little Jack,
is part of that legacy.

00:19:23.188 --> 00:19:25.774
In six months, you and Pam
are gonna be married.

00:19:25.857 --> 00:19:28.318
Then you'll want to start
your own family.

00:19:28.401 --> 00:19:30.195
Actually, on that subject...

00:19:30.278 --> 00:19:33.949
- I've thought about the wedding date.
- We'll discuss that later.

00:19:34.033 --> 00:19:35.993
Let's get back on point.

00:19:36.077 --> 00:19:38.120
Let me put it very simply.

00:19:38.204 --> 00:19:42.083
If your family circle does indeed
join my family circle,

00:19:42.166 --> 00:19:44.251
they'll form a chain.

00:19:44.335 --> 00:19:46.253
I can't have a chink in my chain.

00:19:47.421 --> 00:19:49.882
Yeah. OK. I get the metaphor.

00:19:49.965 --> 00:19:54.678
Now, I've never met your parents,
so I won't jump to hasty conclusions.

00:19:54.762 --> 00:19:58.265
But like studying a frozen caveman,
if I see where you came from,

00:19:58.349 --> 00:20:01.519
I'll have a better idea
of where you're going.

00:20:01.602 --> 00:20:04.815
OK. Are you thinking,
maybe my parents

00:20:04.898 --> 00:20:07.609
might be a chink in the chain?

00:20:07.693 --> 00:20:10.612
A doctor and a lawyer.
What's there to worry about?

00:20:36.805 --> 00:20:39.350
It seems very nice.

00:20:45.231 --> 00:20:47.400
Is that your father?

00:20:50.361 --> 00:20:52.155
That is my father.

00:21:01.998 --> 00:21:04.959
Gaylord.
What the heck is that contraption?

00:21:05.043 --> 00:21:08.421
- I thought you were flying in tonight.
- I left you a message.

00:21:08.504 --> 00:21:11.632
- I didn't get a message.
- I left five messages.

00:21:11.716 --> 00:21:14.594
Will you get over here
and plant one on me?

00:21:14.677 --> 00:21:18.056
I've been waiting so long
to see my best buddy.

00:21:18.139 --> 00:21:20.349
- Good to see you.
- Come here. Come here.

00:21:20.433 --> 00:21:22.769
- I missed your smell.
- All right.

00:21:22.852 --> 00:21:25.980
Is this not the most handsome
young man you've ever seen?

00:21:26.064 --> 00:21:29.067
I used to call him
a young Jewish Marlon Brando.

00:21:31.778 --> 00:21:34.614
Can you believe I conceived him
with one testicle?

00:21:34.697 --> 00:21:36.949
No, really. It's true.

00:21:37.033 --> 00:21:40.495
I only have one
because the other one never dropped.

00:21:40.578 --> 00:21:43.498
It's not uncommon.
But look at him.

00:21:43.581 --> 00:21:46.752
Imagine what he would have
looked like if I had two.

00:21:50.756 --> 00:21:53.008
That's a good icebreaker.

00:21:53.092 --> 00:21:56.887
There's the sexiest
second-grade teacher I've ever seen.

00:21:57.888 --> 00:21:59.390
That was a good one.

00:21:59.473 --> 00:22:02.684
Gets her every time.
Goose bumps. She loves it.

00:22:02.768 --> 00:22:05.312
I'm Dina Byrnes.
It's so nice to meet you.

00:22:05.396 --> 00:22:08.774
The pleasure is all mine,
mon cherie.

00:22:10.776 --> 00:22:14.488
- You gotta be the flower man.
- Right. Jack Byrnes. Pam's father.

00:22:14.571 --> 00:22:16.532
Bernard Focker, Gaylord's father.

00:22:16.615 --> 00:22:19.828
We're all grown-ups here,
and we shake hands like men.

00:22:19.911 --> 00:22:21.204
All right.

00:22:23.081 --> 00:22:26.292
We're just playing here.
Give me some love.

00:22:28.753 --> 00:22:30.213
We're family now.

00:22:30.296 --> 00:22:32.924
What are you so shy about?
Come here.

00:22:36.594 --> 00:22:39.389
Look at those pecs.
You're harder than sheetrock.

00:22:39.472 --> 00:22:41.891
You gotta work out
with weights, right?

00:22:41.975 --> 00:22:44.936
I do calisthenics
and medicine-ball training

00:22:45.020 --> 00:22:46.855
and I play bi-monthly football.

00:22:46.938 --> 00:22:50.275
Oh, football.
I was just practising my capoeira.

00:22:50.358 --> 00:22:51.776
- What?
- What?

00:22:51.860 --> 00:22:54.530
The Brazilian martial-art
of dance-fighting.

00:22:54.613 --> 00:22:56.949
He knows what that is. Yeah.

00:22:57.033 --> 00:22:59.493
You know,
I've been doing it for weeks.

00:22:59.577 --> 00:23:02.747
Really into it. Keeps me level.

00:23:02.830 --> 00:23:06.584
Sometimes I get wound up
so tight I could just snap.

00:23:06.667 --> 00:23:08.335
You know what I mean?

00:23:09.211 --> 00:23:11.630
What is that?
Is that a baby on board?

00:23:11.714 --> 00:23:14.258
That's a baby. Yes, yes.

00:23:14.341 --> 00:23:16.927
It's all in the message.

00:23:17.011 --> 00:23:19.889
Moses. Go ahead.
Say hello to your future in-laws.

00:23:19.972 --> 00:23:21.766
- He's harmless.
- Oh, my.

00:23:21.849 --> 00:23:25.519
- Yeah, and fixed. Moses.
- It's all right. He's...

00:23:25.603 --> 00:23:28.773
- Just shake him off.
- No. He likes the shaking. Get off.

00:23:28.856 --> 00:23:31.484
Don't worry.
The pink part didn't get on you.

00:23:31.567 --> 00:23:34.987
- Get in your basket. Go.
- He's all talk.

00:23:35.071 --> 00:23:38.157
- Who's this?
- This is our grandson, Little Jack.

00:23:38.240 --> 00:23:40.242
A widdle baby.

00:23:41.744 --> 00:23:43.454
How are you, Widdle Jack?

00:23:43.537 --> 00:23:47.041
Dad, don't infantilise him.
Just talk to him like a person.

00:23:47.124 --> 00:23:50.419
What are you talking about?
I'm gonna talk to him like a baby.

00:23:55.341 --> 00:23:57.468
He likes me.

00:23:57.551 --> 00:24:01.973
When Roz's dad died I said,
"Hey, we're freezing here in Detroit."

00:24:02.057 --> 00:24:05.977
"Let's head south and get
some year-round fun in the sun."

00:24:06.061 --> 00:24:08.647
This house is over 100 years old...

00:24:08.730 --> 00:24:11.149
Continue the tour.
I'll tell Mom we're here.

00:24:11.233 --> 00:24:15.195
The upstairs bathroom is on el fritzo
so we'll all share this one.

00:24:15.278 --> 00:24:18.907
And there's a water scarcity
on the island, so we abide by

00:24:18.990 --> 00:24:22.953
the "If it's yellow, let it mellow,
if it's brown, flush it down" policy.

00:24:25.789 --> 00:24:27.958
Forgot my own rule.

00:24:30.001 --> 00:24:32.003
The RV's paying for itself already.

00:24:33.422 --> 00:24:37.343
All right, kids.
Forward. And backward.

00:24:37.427 --> 00:24:41.055
Rotate those hips.

00:24:41.139 --> 00:24:43.224
Let's get your kundalini rising.

00:24:43.307 --> 00:24:47.979
It's time for the ladies to get
into the reverse cowgirl position.

00:24:48.062 --> 00:24:50.565
Guys, lie across
the Liberator pad like so.

00:24:50.648 --> 00:24:52.692
Everyone look at how Ira's doing it.

00:24:54.902 --> 00:24:57.655
The man is loose,
he's limber and ready for action.

00:24:57.739 --> 00:25:01.492
Climb aboard, girls,
and let me hear your bodies talk.

00:25:01.576 --> 00:25:03.411
Yes.

00:25:03.494 --> 00:25:08.167
This position is terrific for anyone
with osteoporosis, gout or goitre.

00:25:08.250 --> 00:25:10.252
Stay with me.
We're almost done.

00:25:11.879 --> 00:25:13.380
Honey.

00:25:14.131 --> 00:25:16.383
All right, guys.
We have to wrap it up.

00:25:16.467 --> 00:25:18.052
Take your Liberator pads,

00:25:18.135 --> 00:25:21.472
and don't forget to stretch
before you try this at home.

00:25:21.555 --> 00:25:24.391
We don't want anyone
shattering a pelvis.

00:25:24.475 --> 00:25:27.352
Hello, my precious.
I love you so much.

00:25:27.436 --> 00:25:29.646
I haven't seen my bubeleh in months.

00:25:29.730 --> 00:25:32.941
You feel thin.
You're not eating. What's the matter?

00:25:33.025 --> 00:25:35.486
I'm fine.
How will we explain these people?

00:25:35.569 --> 00:25:38.989
They're leaving.
The Byrneses won't know they were here.

00:25:39.073 --> 00:25:41.992
You agreed to be discreet
about being a sex therapist

00:25:42.076 --> 00:25:44.078
until you know Jack and Dina better.

00:25:44.161 --> 00:25:46.330
I'll be discreet.
I put all my toys away.

00:25:46.413 --> 00:25:49.208
- My office is all ready for them.
- Your office? No.

00:25:49.291 --> 00:25:52.378
- They're going upstairs.
- They'll be comfortable.

00:25:52.461 --> 00:25:54.463
The plumbing, you don't wanna know.

00:25:54.546 --> 00:25:58.133
Talk about something important.
How are things with you and Pam?

00:25:58.217 --> 00:26:00.094
- They're great.
- They're great?

00:26:00.177 --> 00:26:02.304
You have to work to keep things going.

00:26:02.388 --> 00:26:04.765
Does she still climax regularly?

00:26:04.848 --> 00:26:07.476
Mom, you can't talk that way
this weekend, OK?

00:26:07.559 --> 00:26:10.521
Honey, I didn't raise you
to be a so-so lover.

00:26:10.604 --> 00:26:12.606
- What is he doing?
- What?

00:26:12.690 --> 00:26:14.901
Don't worry about that.

00:26:14.984 --> 00:26:18.405
Mom, you've got to get these people
out of here.

00:26:19.447 --> 00:26:22.617
Wipe that little gloss off you. OK.

00:26:23.243 --> 00:26:24.828
- They converted it.
- You hunt deer?

00:26:24.911 --> 00:26:27.664
No, I hate that thing.
Roz's father gave it to us.

00:26:27.747 --> 00:26:31.668
He was into all that
macho-wacho crap.

00:26:31.751 --> 00:26:34.295
So is Greg.
He and I went duck hunting together.

00:26:34.963 --> 00:26:37.632
- Duck hunting. Me and you.
- Duck hunting. Yeah.

00:26:37.716 --> 00:26:41.594
What? Gay?
You went duck hunting with Jack?

00:26:41.678 --> 00:26:44.931
Yeah. We went on a little hunting trip.

00:26:45.014 --> 00:26:49.311
- You shot a duck.
- I shot at a duck.

00:26:49.395 --> 00:26:51.772
You killed an innocent
creature of the sky?

00:26:51.856 --> 00:26:55.359
Did I?
I think I might have clipped it or...

00:26:55.443 --> 00:26:57.570
Never really checked.

00:27:25.223 --> 00:27:26.600
Oh, Lord.

00:27:26.683 --> 00:27:30.353
And now for
the pièce de résistance...

00:27:31.980 --> 00:27:35.817
- My goodness.
- Something I'm working on.

00:27:35.901 --> 00:27:38.278
I see.

00:27:39.780 --> 00:27:41.990
Mom'll be in in a sec.
What's that?

00:27:42.074 --> 00:27:44.701
It's you.
It's the Wall of Gaylord.

00:27:44.785 --> 00:27:46.995
The Wall of Gaylord?

00:27:47.079 --> 00:27:50.165
Isn't it nice to finally display
your accomplishments?

00:27:50.248 --> 00:27:52.709
Look at all your awards.
That's great.

00:27:52.793 --> 00:27:54.419
He's my champion.

00:27:54.503 --> 00:27:57.089
I didn't know they made
ninth place ribbons.

00:27:57.172 --> 00:27:59.674
They got 'em all the way up
to tenth place.

00:27:59.758 --> 00:28:02.219
Anybody want to get a drink
out by the lagoon?

00:28:02.302 --> 00:28:03.970
This one looks impressive.

00:28:04.054 --> 00:28:07.766
"Mazel tov, Gaylord M Focker:
World's Greatest Nurse."

00:28:08.975 --> 00:28:10.227
Very nice.

00:28:10.310 --> 00:28:12.979
We have tried to instil
a sense of self in Gaylord

00:28:13.063 --> 00:28:15.607
- without being too goal-oriented.
- Be nice.

00:28:15.690 --> 00:28:19.486
It's not about winning or losing.
It's about passion.

00:28:19.569 --> 00:28:23.615
We just wanted him to love
what he's doing. Know what I mean?

00:28:23.699 --> 00:28:27.577
Not really, Bernard. I think
a competitive drive is the essential key

00:28:27.661 --> 00:28:30.873
that makes America
the only remaining superpower today.

00:28:32.417 --> 00:28:34.794
Well, whatever works.

00:28:34.877 --> 00:28:38.381
- Don't forget the positions.
- Bye. You're a lifesaver.

00:28:38.464 --> 00:28:40.383
Thank you, BJ. Goodbye, Sidelle.

00:28:40.466 --> 00:28:43.636
Ira, easy on the thrusting.
You're not 78 any more.

00:28:43.720 --> 00:28:47.974
What kind of work does
your mother do with those patients?

00:28:48.057 --> 00:28:51.102
Those look like yoga mats.
Is there yoga involved?

00:28:51.185 --> 00:28:55.648
It's yoga-esque.
It's sort of a couples therapy.

00:28:55.732 --> 00:28:58.568
Kind of mind/body.
It's kind of her own sort of...

00:28:58.651 --> 00:29:01.070
Rozala. Sweetheart. Living room.

00:29:01.946 --> 00:29:04.116
Hello. Hello, hello.

00:29:04.199 --> 00:29:07.870
How are you, baby girl?
Oh, my God.

00:29:07.953 --> 00:29:10.372
- Look at you, you're glowing.
- Thank you.

00:29:10.456 --> 00:29:14.585
Hi. I'm Roz Focker.
You must be Jack.

00:29:14.668 --> 00:29:17.004
- And you must be Dina.
- Hi.

00:29:17.087 --> 00:29:20.674
I can't believe
it's taken us this long to meet.

00:29:20.758 --> 00:29:24.303
- And who's this little hairball?
- Their grandson, Baby Jack.

00:29:24.386 --> 00:29:27.014
He's so adorable.
I could eat him up.

00:29:27.097 --> 00:29:29.808
Bern, did you show them
where they're sleeping?

00:29:29.892 --> 00:29:32.102
Right. We don't have air-conditioning,

00:29:32.186 --> 00:29:34.563
so I made a nice spot for you
in Roz's office

00:29:34.646 --> 00:29:37.984
cos it gets a breeze and
it's near the communal commode.

00:29:38.068 --> 00:29:41.029
Actually, we're gonna stay
in our motor home.

00:29:41.112 --> 00:29:43.281
In the trailer? Come on, Jack.

00:29:43.365 --> 00:29:46.284
We're family.
We sleep under the same roof.

00:29:46.368 --> 00:29:49.037
Mom's office is cluttered,
so that works out.

00:29:49.120 --> 00:29:52.582
It's really easier with Little Jack.
No, really, we insist.

00:29:52.665 --> 00:29:55.502
If they want to sleep
in a trailer, let them.

00:29:55.585 --> 00:29:58.922
Mom, it's not a trailer.
It's like a hotel on wheels.

00:29:59.005 --> 00:30:01.716
- It's incredible.
- This is practically a hotel.

00:30:01.800 --> 00:30:05.095
I'd do a turndown service
with chocolates under the pillow.

00:30:05.178 --> 00:30:06.971
Wherever you feel comfortable.

00:30:07.055 --> 00:30:09.015
- It's not right.
- Let it go.

00:30:09.099 --> 00:30:12.143
- Let it go? Fine.
- Yeah, let it go.

00:30:12.227 --> 00:30:15.146
Are you sulking? Look at this.
I married a teenager.

00:30:15.230 --> 00:30:18.024
Right? At least you have
the libido of a teenager.

00:30:18.108 --> 00:30:22.821
- I gave her a little matinee today.
- Don't you dare. Stop it.

00:30:22.904 --> 00:30:24.906
How about a double feature?

00:30:25.949 --> 00:30:27.283
Come on.

00:30:27.367 --> 00:30:30.203
The lagoon.
Why don't we show them the lagoon?

00:30:30.286 --> 00:30:33.623
- The lagoon. Come see the lagoon.
- Jack, come on, come on.

00:30:33.707 --> 00:30:36.376
We'll get drunk.
We'll take a piss in the lagoon.

00:30:36.459 --> 00:30:39.504
Roz, take them outside
and show them around.

00:30:39.587 --> 00:30:40.880
I'll make the drinks.

00:30:48.347 --> 00:30:50.182
Oh, God.

00:30:51.142 --> 00:30:53.811
- Hey, Dad.
- It's going good, right?

00:30:53.894 --> 00:30:56.063
You gotta take down that weird shrine.

00:30:56.147 --> 00:30:59.024
I'm very proud of you.
What's wrong with showing it?

00:30:59.108 --> 00:31:02.445
It's ridiculous.
Most people aren't proud of sixth place.

00:31:02.528 --> 00:31:05.197
Since when do you care
about most people?

00:31:05.281 --> 00:31:10.161
I don't. But Jack is really into
winning and competition and sports.

00:31:10.244 --> 00:31:15.291
- It's a whole other thing with him.
- You're a winner up here and in here.

00:31:15.374 --> 00:31:16.959
That's all that matters.

00:31:17.043 --> 00:31:20.380
OK. Thank you. I don't know
what that means, but thank you.

00:31:21.048 --> 00:31:25.093
To solve that problem
I created a lifelike latex left breast

00:31:25.177 --> 00:31:27.387
moulded from his mother's
left breast,

00:31:27.471 --> 00:31:30.307
so this way LJ will avoid
any nipple confusion.

00:31:30.390 --> 00:31:34.811
You're avoiding confusion
by strapping a boob on a man?

00:31:34.895 --> 00:31:36.980
Believe it or not,
it is less confusing

00:31:37.064 --> 00:31:40.901
because of the texture
of the breast itself.

00:31:41.943 --> 00:31:45.989
I guess it's very creative.
It's very creative.

00:31:48.325 --> 00:31:50.243
A little birdie told me

00:31:50.327 --> 00:31:55.208
that one of our guests here
is a Tom Collins man.

00:31:55.291 --> 00:31:59.003
For pity's sake.
Isn't that nice, Jack?

00:31:59.087 --> 00:32:00.421
That is nice. Thank you.

00:32:00.505 --> 00:32:03.800
Don't drink.
I wanna make a toast.

00:32:05.718 --> 00:32:09.180
Now. I had a vasectomy in 1974.

00:32:09.263 --> 00:32:11.391
- '73, honey.
- You're right. '73.

00:32:11.474 --> 00:32:14.102
So I never had a chance
to procreate a daughter.

00:32:14.185 --> 00:32:17.355
But had I been able to,
I really would have wanted

00:32:17.438 --> 00:32:20.566
a girl as sensitive
and as intelligent

00:32:20.650 --> 00:32:24.195
and as beautiful
as this young lady

00:32:24.278 --> 00:32:27.824
- sitting right here before us.
- Thank you, Bernie.

00:32:27.907 --> 00:32:30.827
- And she's not an accident...
- Greg.

00:32:30.910 --> 00:32:32.954
- Yeah?
- I thought you had a sister.

00:32:33.913 --> 00:32:35.623
Nope. No sister.

00:32:35.707 --> 00:32:39.669
You said you had a sister.
You said you milked your sister's cat.

00:32:44.507 --> 00:32:46.134
OK, I'm not done yet.

00:32:46.217 --> 00:32:50.138
What I'm trying to say is,
it's taken far too long to do this.

00:32:50.221 --> 00:32:53.182
You know.
But we're finally all together.

00:32:53.891 --> 00:32:55.893
That's nice, honey.

00:32:55.977 --> 00:32:57.979
Oh, thank you.

00:32:59.272 --> 00:33:01.024
All right. That's enough.

00:33:01.108 --> 00:33:03.819
- L'Chaim, everyone.
- L'Chaim.

00:33:05.404 --> 00:33:08.073
Like you have popcorn
stuck in the throat.

00:33:08.157 --> 00:33:12.995
- OK. To family.
- Family.

00:33:13.078 --> 00:33:16.290
I forgot. I want to say
one more thing about my vasectomy.

00:33:16.373 --> 00:33:19.877
Sit down.
Honey, get yourself over here.

00:33:19.960 --> 00:33:22.546
- I went overboard?
- A little bit, honey.

00:33:22.629 --> 00:33:25.340
But you're so cute
they'd forgive you anything.

00:33:25.424 --> 00:33:30.429
God, you're so beautiful.
You are the sexiest woman alive.

00:33:30.512 --> 00:33:32.931
You're just trying
to get me back into bed.

00:33:33.015 --> 00:33:34.350
Or the hammock.

00:33:34.434 --> 00:33:36.686
This is a delicious Tom Collins.

00:33:36.770 --> 00:33:40.774
I use real lemon juice.
It's from our trees. That's the secret.

00:33:40.857 --> 00:33:42.734
He was squeezing all afternoon.

00:33:42.817 --> 00:33:47.155
Yeah. And, Jack, I managed
to make some lemon juice, too.

00:33:50.241 --> 00:33:52.994
- Gay. Are you all right?
- Are you OK, honey?

00:34:00.043 --> 00:34:04.798
I think that Roz and Bernie
seem like very nice people.

00:34:04.881 --> 00:34:09.053
Very nice.
A little off-colour, but very nice.

00:34:09.136 --> 00:34:13.974
But isn't it wonderful? After all this,
the kids are finally getting married.

00:34:14.058 --> 00:34:17.436
- I feel so happy.
- Wait, I think he just spoke.

00:34:17.520 --> 00:34:20.147
Little Jack.
Were you about to speak?

00:34:23.442 --> 00:34:26.278
No. Just a little flatulence.
What were you saying?

00:34:26.362 --> 00:34:28.823
Nothing, dear.

00:34:29.573 --> 00:34:31.367
- Guys.
- What?

00:34:31.450 --> 00:34:34.787
- Where are you going?
- Checking out Jack's macho trailer.

00:34:34.870 --> 00:34:38.416
- I want to see that boob.
- Could I talk to you for a second?

00:34:38.499 --> 00:34:40.876
Don't let Moses go in there.
They have a cat.

00:34:40.960 --> 00:34:43.671
Moses is perfectly trained.
What boob?

00:34:43.754 --> 00:34:46.340
- He humps everything.
- He's like his father.

00:34:46.424 --> 00:34:49.593
- I never cheated on you.
- They're not listening to me.

00:34:52.388 --> 00:34:55.933
- What's up?
- They're getting along really well.

00:34:56.016 --> 00:34:58.853
Yeah, they are.
I feel bad that I worried so much.

00:34:58.936 --> 00:35:00.563
Yeah. It's OK.

00:35:00.646 --> 00:35:02.106
What's going on?

00:35:03.274 --> 00:35:05.901
- I'm pregnant.
- You're pregnant?

00:35:06.736 --> 00:35:08.654
I'm two weeks late, nauseous,

00:35:08.738 --> 00:35:11.032
my boobs hurt
and I can smell everything.

00:35:11.115 --> 00:35:13.951
- You're gonna have a baby.
- A baby, yeah.

00:35:14.035 --> 00:35:17.080
- We're gonna have a little baby.
- A baby. I'm pregnant.

00:35:21.334 --> 00:35:23.336
Yeah.

00:35:24.671 --> 00:35:26.214
Oh, shit.

00:35:27.716 --> 00:35:30.135
You realize your father's
going to kill me.

00:35:31.511 --> 00:35:34.890
No. He's not gonna find out,
because we're not gonna tell him.

00:35:34.973 --> 00:35:37.434
No. Come on.
He's a human lie detector.

00:35:37.517 --> 00:35:41.229
- He lives to sniff out stuff like this.
- We'll get through tomorrow

00:35:41.313 --> 00:35:45.317
and we'll tell them on Sunday
before we go.

00:35:45.400 --> 00:35:47.736
I just hate keeping secrets
from your dad.

00:35:47.819 --> 00:35:50.073
It's just one little secret.

00:35:50.907 --> 00:35:52.367
Oh, hi, neighbours.

00:35:52.450 --> 00:35:54.702
- Hello.
- The Fockers, honey.

00:35:54.786 --> 00:35:58.247
- Fancy-schmancy.
- Welcome to the chateau.

00:35:58.331 --> 00:36:01.501
No wonder they don't
want to sleep in our shitbox.

00:36:03.002 --> 00:36:05.088
I don't think the dog
is a good idea.

00:36:05.171 --> 00:36:07.548
Moses is more of a lover
than a fighter.

00:36:07.632 --> 00:36:09.550
- Jinx.
- Moses.

00:36:09.634 --> 00:36:13.262
He's always dreamed of me
having a white wedding. He'll be upset.

00:36:13.346 --> 00:36:14.389
I know.

00:36:14.472 --> 00:36:16.099
Moses.

00:36:16.849 --> 00:36:18.393
- Jinxy.
- Moses.

00:36:18.476 --> 00:36:20.436
I told you to keep him
out of the RV.

00:36:20.520 --> 00:36:22.523
- He wanted to see it.
- Dad.

00:36:22.606 --> 00:36:24.191
Moses. Moses.

00:36:24.274 --> 00:36:26.944
Get that goddamn dog out of here.

00:36:29.530 --> 00:36:30.864
Mo...

00:36:31.865 --> 00:36:33.951
- Oh, God.
- Dad.

00:36:35.119 --> 00:36:36.787
- Whoa.
- Jinx.

00:36:36.870 --> 00:36:39.873
- Jinx, don't do it.
- Jinxy, no.

00:36:39.957 --> 00:36:42.209
No.

00:36:42.292 --> 00:36:45.087
Jesus. Moses. Hold on.

00:36:49.258 --> 00:36:50.884
Moses, hold on, I'll save you.

00:36:50.968 --> 00:36:52.761
The cat can flush?

00:36:52.845 --> 00:36:54.847
Oh, my God.

00:36:54.930 --> 00:36:57.683
- It's OK.
- Get out of the way.

00:36:57.766 --> 00:37:00.018
- That's my toilet.
- I have to get my dog.

00:37:00.102 --> 00:37:01.937
What about my toilet?

00:37:02.938 --> 00:37:05.357
Moses.

00:37:08.193 --> 00:37:09.820
Greg, grab the baby.

00:37:20.289 --> 00:37:21.790
He's alive.

00:37:23.125 --> 00:37:26.712
He's fine. So much for the protection
of our rolling safe house.

00:37:26.795 --> 00:37:29.007
Oh, honey,
he was trying to save his pet.

00:37:29.090 --> 00:37:33.011
I mean, what if it was Jinxy
who got flushed into a toilet?

00:37:33.094 --> 00:37:37.474
Mr Jinx has had aquatic training.
He would have known exactly what to do.

00:37:42.437 --> 00:37:45.148
20-minute warning
for dinner, guys.

00:37:45.231 --> 00:37:47.942
Sorry about the trailer, Jack.

00:37:48.026 --> 00:37:49.861
Muskrat.

00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:54.282
It's OK, Bernard.

00:37:55.784 --> 00:37:59.037
- We're not telling your father.
- That's what I was saying.

00:37:59.120 --> 00:38:01.498
- What do you want to do?
- I'm not sure.

00:38:01.581 --> 00:38:04.335
I thought we'd be married
before we got pregnant.

00:38:04.418 --> 00:38:07.046
- Hey.
- What?

00:38:07.129 --> 00:38:10.341
What if we move the wedding
up to next month?

00:38:10.424 --> 00:38:13.469
Then we tell your dad you got
pregnant on the honeymoon.

00:38:13.552 --> 00:38:15.721
Oh, my God.
Yeah, that could work.

00:38:15.805 --> 00:38:17.473
- It's perfect, right?
- Yeah.

00:38:17.556 --> 00:38:21.394
- OK, good, just follow my lead.
- OK.

00:38:22.728 --> 00:38:27.191
Without further ado,
my famous Focker fondue.

00:38:27.274 --> 00:38:29.402
Go on. Dig in.
Get it while it's hot.

00:38:29.485 --> 00:38:32.822
That is so impressive, Bernie.
Did you do that yourself?

00:38:32.905 --> 00:38:34.615
Sure. I love to cook.

00:38:34.698 --> 00:38:37.703
I can't even fry an egg.
I burn cornflakes.

00:38:38.537 --> 00:38:42.207
I'm amazed he finds time to cook
with such a high-powered career.

00:38:42.290 --> 00:38:45.085
High-powered?
I wouldn't exactly call it...

00:38:45.919 --> 00:38:48.714
- Why did you kick me?
- I kicked you because

00:38:48.797 --> 00:38:52.008
you're being modest
and you should tell people

00:38:52.092 --> 00:38:54.219
that you are a good lawyer.

00:38:54.302 --> 00:38:57.222
He's fought some big,
important legal battles.

00:38:57.305 --> 00:39:02.185
When Gay was born, I stopped practising
and became a stay-at-home dad.

00:39:02.269 --> 00:39:05.021
Believe me,
he won a trial or two in his day.

00:39:05.105 --> 00:39:08.442
- Extremely good trial lawyer.
- A regular Clarence Darrow.

00:39:08.525 --> 00:39:11.445
So Roz was the breadwinner
and you didn't have a job.

00:39:11.528 --> 00:39:13.071
- Dad...
- Honey.

00:39:13.155 --> 00:39:16.074
Come on. You could say
he had the hardest job.

00:39:16.158 --> 00:39:19.286
- He's just kidding.
- Of course. I'm... Yes.

00:39:19.369 --> 00:39:22.622
Why don't we jump into
the big Focker-Byrnes wedding?

00:39:22.706 --> 00:39:24.541
Yes. Good.

00:39:24.624 --> 00:39:27.085
I know we've mentioned
a fall wedding...

00:39:27.169 --> 00:39:29.212
Isabel?

00:39:31.173 --> 00:39:34.634
- Is that Isabel?
- Yes. Our former housekeeper.

00:39:34.718 --> 00:39:37.262
She has her own
catering business now.

00:39:37.345 --> 00:39:40.307
I asked her to come
and help Bernie in the kitchen.

00:39:40.390 --> 00:39:43.811
- You didn't say she was here.
- Gay had a monster crush on her.

00:39:43.895 --> 00:39:46.814
- Really?
- I didn't have a monster crush...

00:39:46.898 --> 00:39:48.983
- You didn't tell me.
- It's not true.

00:39:49.067 --> 00:39:53.279
Not true that I didn't catch you doing
a ba-ziga to her passport photo?

00:39:53.362 --> 00:39:56.783
- Honey, stop.
- I walk in the door...

00:39:56.866 --> 00:39:59.202
Where is he?
There's my baby.

00:40:05.500 --> 00:40:07.502
It's good to see you.

00:40:07.585 --> 00:40:11.422
- I haven't seen you in years.
- I know.

00:40:11.506 --> 00:40:15.426
Yes. You... Yeah, look at you.
You look...

00:40:15.510 --> 00:40:18.430
I know. I had a boob job.

00:40:18.514 --> 00:40:21.058
Yeah.

00:40:21.141 --> 00:40:24.228
Hey.
This is Dina and Jack Byrnes.

00:40:25.687 --> 00:40:27.481
Hi, Isabel.

00:40:27.564 --> 00:40:30.651
And this is Pam Byrnes,
my fiancée.

00:40:32.569 --> 00:40:34.530
Nice to meet you too.

00:40:34.613 --> 00:40:38.534
Not yet married
and already a little one?

00:40:39.159 --> 00:40:41.954
He is a handsome little Focker.

00:40:43.622 --> 00:40:46.458
- No, he's not a Focker.
- No, he's not mine.

00:40:46.542 --> 00:40:50.087
You stayed to raise her child?
Good for you.

00:40:50.170 --> 00:40:53.925
He's Pam's nephew. He has
no connection to Greg whatsoever.

00:40:59.013 --> 00:41:01.266
I love you, too.

00:41:01.349 --> 00:41:03.351
He wants some milk.

00:41:04.269 --> 00:41:07.522
Little Jack, no.
Those aren't for you.

00:41:13.319 --> 00:41:16.197
- Mom.
- I think I'll take him inside.

00:41:16.281 --> 00:41:17.907
Good idea.

00:41:20.368 --> 00:41:22.912
You are a very lucky woman, Pam.

00:41:22.996 --> 00:41:25.999
He is very special, this one.

00:41:27.459 --> 00:41:31.046
- I think so too.
- I could tell you some stories.

00:41:31.129 --> 00:41:35.008
- Really?
- She's just being silly.

00:41:35.091 --> 00:41:38.136
- It was nice to meet you all.
- Nice to meet you.

00:41:38.219 --> 00:41:41.139
So sweet. Gosh. So sweet.

00:41:42.640 --> 00:41:45.560
Do you guys want some more wine?

00:41:51.316 --> 00:41:52.984
You did good.

00:41:53.068 --> 00:41:57.864
- She's very pretty, this one.
- Yeah, she's really great.

00:41:57.947 --> 00:42:01.202
Can you believe
it's been 15 years?

00:42:02.912 --> 00:42:05.456
So many wonderful memories
from those days.

00:42:05.539 --> 00:42:11.712
Yes. Yes. A lot of wonderful,
kind of private, memories.

00:42:11.796 --> 00:42:16.133
So you never told
your fiancée about us?

00:42:16.217 --> 00:42:19.387
No, I don't think I did.
It never really came up.

00:42:19.470 --> 00:42:22.723
Not that I didn't want her to know,
it just never really...

00:42:22.807 --> 00:42:27.228
Not that it wasn't great.
It was really... For me, it...

00:42:27.311 --> 00:42:30.648
And you were so helpful.

00:42:30.731 --> 00:42:33.276
Don't worry,
your secret's safe with me.

00:42:33.360 --> 00:42:35.445
OK. There's no secrets.

00:42:35.529 --> 00:42:38.281
But good.
Yeah, maybe keep it quiet this weekend.

00:42:38.365 --> 00:42:40.575
I don't want Pam to feel uncomfortable.

00:42:40.659 --> 00:42:43.662
And then later,
when it's the proper setting...

00:42:43.745 --> 00:42:45.372
OK. Yeah. Good.

00:42:46.373 --> 00:42:47.666
Good.

00:42:47.749 --> 00:42:50.961
And the fondue. It's going over.

00:42:51.044 --> 00:42:52.629
Gay, you're just in time

00:42:52.713 --> 00:42:55.841
to hear me tell
how you lost your virginity to Isabel.

00:42:57.592 --> 00:43:00.262
He was 19. A late bloomer.

00:43:01.847 --> 00:43:03.682
You slept with Isabel?

00:43:03.765 --> 00:43:05.726
We were relieved.

00:43:05.809 --> 00:43:09.981
- Why would you bring that up?
- What? It was 15 years ago.

00:43:10.064 --> 00:43:14.485
Your father thought it would be fun
to share stories about our first time.

00:43:14.569 --> 00:43:19.031
- Really? That sounds like fun.
- It's fine.

00:43:19.115 --> 00:43:21.659
Tell how you poppity-popped
your cherry.

00:43:21.743 --> 00:43:24.787
I don't feel comfortable
discussing that with you.

00:43:24.871 --> 00:43:27.331
Let's get back
to talking about the wedding.

00:43:27.415 --> 00:43:29.584
- Yeah.
- Thank you.

00:43:30.877 --> 00:43:34.213
What... Didn't you just take
Little Jack back to the room?

00:43:34.297 --> 00:43:38.509
I'm monitoring him from
a microphone planted in his crib.

00:43:39.427 --> 00:43:43.848
Baby monitors, hidden cameras.
Whatever happened to privacy?

00:43:43.931 --> 00:43:46.684
Surveillance technology
protects the freedoms

00:43:46.768 --> 00:43:48.978
we Americans take advantage of today.

00:43:52.690 --> 00:43:55.276
He's right. It has been good.

00:43:57.445 --> 00:43:59.655
Son, that is bullcrap
in a chef's salad.

00:43:59.739 --> 00:44:02.450
Jack, tell me one smart thing
the CLIA has done,

00:44:02.533 --> 00:44:05.203
I will give you the deed
to her house.

00:44:05.286 --> 00:44:06.454
The CLIA?

00:44:06.537 --> 00:44:09.290
The Central Lack
of Intelligence Agency.

00:44:18.467 --> 00:44:22.429
That baby might need a pull
on that knocker of yours, Jack.

00:44:25.224 --> 00:44:27.059
It's OK.
We're Ferberizing him.

00:44:27.142 --> 00:44:28.727
- What?
- The Ferber method.

00:44:28.811 --> 00:44:31.855
You let him cry it out
so he doesn't depend on coddling.

00:44:31.939 --> 00:44:34.066
And yet, the Continuum Concept

00:44:34.149 --> 00:44:38.862
shows that a baby benefits more
from constant physical contact.

00:44:39.905 --> 00:44:42.908
- We use the Ferber method.
- We used the Focker method.

00:44:43.492 --> 00:44:47.121
We hugged and kissed our little prince
like there was no tomorrow.

00:44:47.205 --> 00:44:49.332
We Fockerised him.

00:44:49.416 --> 00:44:53.002
That's right.
Greggy slept in our bed till he was ten.

00:44:53.086 --> 00:44:55.797
- Oh, my God.
- It wasn't quite that long.

00:44:55.880 --> 00:44:57.632
- Yes, it was.
- I wasn't ten.

00:44:57.716 --> 00:45:00.719
- Nine and a half at least.
- Mom, I don't think so.

00:45:00.802 --> 00:45:03.263
I didn't sleep in their bed
till I was ten.

00:45:03.346 --> 00:45:06.307
- Get the photo album.
- I'm one step ahead of you.

00:45:06.391 --> 00:45:08.977
No, we're eating dinner. Come on.

00:45:10.019 --> 00:45:13.398
These are the curls
from his first trip to the barber shop.

00:45:13.481 --> 00:45:15.442
Nobody wants to see this.

00:45:15.525 --> 00:45:19.070
- Show Jack.
- Look at all those little teeth.

00:45:19.154 --> 00:45:23.701
Isn't that sweet?
Somebody looks very grumpy there.

00:45:23.784 --> 00:45:26.412
- That's Gay with the mohel.
- The mohel?

00:45:26.495 --> 00:45:29.749
He's the man who snips
the baby's little winky-dink.

00:45:29.832 --> 00:45:32.626
That's Greg getting circumcised,
right here.

00:45:32.710 --> 00:45:34.795
The ceremony was at my parents'.

00:45:34.879 --> 00:45:36.922
There was a cold snap...
Tell it.

00:45:37.006 --> 00:45:39.717
The heater conked out
so no matter how he tried,

00:45:39.800 --> 00:45:43.804
the mohel couldn't coax
Greggy's tiny turtle from its shell.

00:45:43.888 --> 00:45:47.516
Let's not talk about
the tiny turtle, OK? This is dinner.

00:45:47.600 --> 00:45:50.394
Honey, half the people
at this table have penises.

00:45:50.478 --> 00:45:53.898
- Mom, control yourself.
- Roz, he's right.

00:45:53.981 --> 00:45:56.275
- You're embarrassing him.
- I'm sorry.

00:45:56.358 --> 00:45:59.737
To make a long story short,
he wound up with a semi-circ.

00:46:02.573 --> 00:46:05.034
- What's that?
- I can't wait to hear this.

00:46:05.117 --> 00:46:09.371
- A cross between an anteater...
- And a German army helmet.

00:46:13.376 --> 00:46:17.922
But, honey, you wanted to talk
about the wedding, right?

00:46:19.632 --> 00:46:22.343
Don't tell me
you kept his umbilical cord.

00:46:22.426 --> 00:46:24.887
Of course not.
That's Greg's foreskin.

00:46:26.555 --> 00:46:28.266
That's it. That's enough.

00:46:28.350 --> 00:46:31.228
- Come on. We're having fun.
- We're not having fun.

00:46:31.311 --> 00:46:34.147
- Why deny us our memories?
- Because we're done.

00:46:41.154 --> 00:46:44.366
Anyone in the mood for a Chinese?

00:46:46.493 --> 00:46:49.663
You told me your first time
was with a Danish transfer student.

00:46:49.746 --> 00:46:52.707
You weren't upfront
about your engagement to Kevin.

00:46:52.791 --> 00:46:56.336
- Well, he wasn't my baby-sitter.
- OK, I should have told you.

00:46:56.420 --> 00:46:58.213
Can we just let it go, please?

00:46:58.296 --> 00:47:01.341
We've both got enough stuff
to deal with this weekend.

00:47:06.222 --> 00:47:08.975
- Oh. Hi, Jack.
- Hello, Greg.

00:47:09.058 --> 00:47:12.437
- Funny dinner, huh?
- How do you mean?

00:47:12.520 --> 00:47:15.356
You're studying my family
like the frozen caveman.

00:47:15.440 --> 00:47:17.859
So I just don't want you
to be worried, OK?

00:47:17.942 --> 00:47:21.863
They're a little quirky
but they're really well-intentioned.

00:47:21.946 --> 00:47:25.116
- I think they were just nervous.
- Greg.

00:47:25.199 --> 00:47:26.993
Tomorrow will be better.

00:47:27.076 --> 00:47:30.037
Sorry, ma'am.
I thought you ordered room service.

00:47:30.121 --> 00:47:33.958
Are you sure you don't want any
whipped cream with your sundae?

00:47:34.041 --> 00:47:36.170
- Bern, stop it.
- Who's Bern?

00:47:36.253 --> 00:47:39.256
- I'm Chad the bellhop.
- Oh, no. We did that last week.

00:47:39.339 --> 00:47:41.216
Be Sam the carpet-cleaning man.

00:47:41.300 --> 00:47:44.094
Why would a carpet cleaner
have whipped cream?

00:47:44.178 --> 00:47:45.512
Improvise, honey.

00:47:45.596 --> 00:47:48.432
Evening, Miss,
I'm here to clean your carpet.

00:47:49.933 --> 00:47:52.770
Do you mind if I put some foam
down on your rug?

00:47:52.853 --> 00:47:54.396
I don't mind at all.

00:47:54.480 --> 00:47:56.398
- Good night, Greg.
- Sleep well.

00:47:56.482 --> 00:47:58.901
How long have you worked at this hotel?

00:47:58.984 --> 00:48:02.237
It's time to put some snow
on your mountains.

00:48:02.321 --> 00:48:04.865
Get some whipped cream
on those Tetons.

00:48:06.700 --> 00:48:08.827
- Guys.
- Come back in the morning.

00:48:08.911 --> 00:48:11.455
Gay, see the cowboy hat on the door?

00:48:11.538 --> 00:48:14.249
Hat is off the door.
No cowboy hat this weekend.

00:48:14.333 --> 00:48:16.919
I'm coming in,
so stop doing what you're doing.

00:48:17.002 --> 00:48:20.255
Look, I was talking to... Oh, no.

00:48:20.339 --> 00:48:22.841
You know what
that cowboy hat means.

00:48:22.925 --> 00:48:26.929
- Please help me out here.
- What? We're just being ourselves.

00:48:27.012 --> 00:48:29.264
- Mom, please...
- He's saying not to be.

00:48:29.348 --> 00:48:31.725
Be yourselves,
but be yourselves in a way

00:48:31.809 --> 00:48:34.520
that's a little less
than being your full selves.

00:48:34.603 --> 00:48:37.940
I don't understand this.
Why are you so afraid of Jack?

00:48:38.023 --> 00:48:40.317
You've kissed his ass
since you got here.

00:48:40.401 --> 00:48:42.277
I'm not afraid. That's not true.

00:48:42.361 --> 00:48:44.656
- It is.
- You went duck hunting with him.

00:48:44.739 --> 00:48:46.950
Our people don't shoot ducks.

00:48:47.033 --> 00:48:49.327
Just make Jack
feel more comfortable.

00:48:49.411 --> 00:48:51.329
You don't want us to be ourselves.

00:48:51.413 --> 00:48:54.749
I don't want you to break his RV
and say I had sex with Isabel

00:48:54.833 --> 00:48:58.962
and play weird sex games
that everybody can hear. Mom.

00:48:59.045 --> 00:49:02.966
If you ask me, it wouldn't be so bad
if your future in-laws heard this.

00:49:03.049 --> 00:49:07.011
Don't therapise the Byrneses
this weekend. At all. OK?

00:49:07.095 --> 00:49:10.014
A few minutes of concentrated work
with him and Dina,

00:49:10.098 --> 00:49:12.183
she'd get him to blow like Krakatoa.

00:49:12.267 --> 00:49:14.978
Right. OK. Yeah.
You know what?

00:49:15.061 --> 00:49:17.857
Just give me one day
without any complications.

00:49:17.940 --> 00:49:21.360
We get through it, everybody
goes off, we go on with our lives.

00:49:21.444 --> 00:49:23.654
- Can we do that?
- You got it, dude.

00:49:23.738 --> 00:49:25.948
- Thank you.
- Hon?

00:49:26.031 --> 00:49:28.075
- Put the hat back on the door.
- No.

00:49:28.159 --> 00:49:31.704
- No cowboy hat this weekend.
- But tonight doesn't count.

00:49:33.038 --> 00:49:35.708
- All aboard.
- My God, that tickles.

00:49:46.177 --> 00:49:48.137
Morning, partner.

00:49:50.264 --> 00:49:53.852
- Morning.
- Sleep OK?

00:49:53.935 --> 00:49:56.021
I slept all right, thank you.

00:50:02.402 --> 00:50:05.572
It's nice all of us being here together,
don't you think?

00:50:06.865 --> 00:50:09.534
Bernard, do you mind
if I have some privacy?

00:50:09.618 --> 00:50:11.620
Almost done.

00:50:18.627 --> 00:50:21.963
Bernie, this frittata is wonderful.
What's in it?

00:50:22.047 --> 00:50:25.467
A lot of the taste comes from
this skillet. I never wash it.

00:50:25.550 --> 00:50:29.221
Hey, guys, can I have
everybody's attention, please?

00:50:29.304 --> 00:50:31.515
Gay, I'll be back in a sec.

00:50:31.598 --> 00:50:33.809
OK. Dad? All right.

00:50:34.643 --> 00:50:36.478
- So... Mom?
- Yeah.

00:50:36.561 --> 00:50:40.399
I know we've been talking about
having the wedding in October,

00:50:40.482 --> 00:50:43.402
but Pam and I have been
playing around with some ideas

00:50:43.485 --> 00:50:45.987
and we're thinking
of moving it up to June.

00:50:46.071 --> 00:50:47.948
- Nice.
- This June?

00:50:48.031 --> 00:50:49.241
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

00:50:49.324 --> 00:50:51.868
That's... That's in a month.

00:50:51.952 --> 00:50:54.162
I always wanted a spring wedding.

00:50:54.246 --> 00:50:56.498
We can announce it
at the party tonight.

00:50:56.581 --> 00:50:58.418
- Good idea.
- Wait. What party?

00:50:58.501 --> 00:51:00.920
Jack, let's play football.

00:51:01.003 --> 00:51:04.132
Your father and I
are throwing an engagement soirée

00:51:04.215 --> 00:51:06.092
for you two lovebirds.

00:51:06.175 --> 00:51:08.845
Would you look at that punim?

00:51:08.928 --> 00:51:10.763
That's so sweet.
Thank you, guys.

00:51:10.847 --> 00:51:13.099
I thought we were having
a quiet dinner?

00:51:13.182 --> 00:51:17.353
- It was supposed to be a surprise.
- The list keeps growing.

00:51:17.437 --> 00:51:19.063
Now it's up to 50 Fockers.

00:51:19.147 --> 00:51:21.899
When were you going to tell us
about this?

00:51:21.983 --> 00:51:25.486
50 Fockers.
What could be better?

00:51:25.945 --> 00:51:28.030
What are you doing?
We never play football.

00:51:28.114 --> 00:51:29.991
Trying to cement relationships.

00:51:30.074 --> 00:51:32.077
Jack said he was into footie-ball.

00:51:32.161 --> 00:51:34.538
Let's show El Stiffo
how we play the game.

00:51:34.621 --> 00:51:37.332
- "Footie-ball"?
- Come on. Come on, let's play.

00:51:37.416 --> 00:51:40.419
I'm feeling tired.
I'll sit this out with Little Jack.

00:51:40.502 --> 00:51:42.755
- You want company?
- No, Dina.

00:51:42.838 --> 00:51:45.049
You and I
will take on Jack and Roz.

00:51:45.132 --> 00:51:48.135
Come on, Jack. It'll be fun.
We'll swap wives.

00:51:49.303 --> 00:51:52.473
Don't worry.
You'll get him back after the game.

00:51:52.556 --> 00:51:55.642
We'll play three on two
with somebody as quarterback.

00:51:55.726 --> 00:51:59.188
- Gay goes both ways.
- Oh, I bet he does.

00:52:00.981 --> 00:52:02.649
One. Two.

00:52:24.297 --> 00:52:26.383
- Huddle up.
- I want it down and in.

00:52:26.466 --> 00:52:30.303
Draw in the defence,
then you'll hit Roz here for a TD.

00:52:30.387 --> 00:52:33.056
What do you mean?
He hits me where with a what? Why?

00:52:33.139 --> 00:52:34.557
I'll throw it, you catch.

00:52:34.641 --> 00:52:38.353
- You want me to catch that thing?
- Yeah. On two. Ready?

00:52:38.436 --> 00:52:41.064
One. Two.

00:52:41.147 --> 00:52:42.732
Go, Mom, go.

00:52:42.816 --> 00:52:45.860
- This way.
- That way. That way.

00:52:47.779 --> 00:52:50.532
It's over. It's over.

00:52:50.615 --> 00:52:52.367
Your ass is mine.

00:52:52.450 --> 00:52:55.787
Remember that time in the park?
Remember the park?

00:52:55.870 --> 00:52:57.414
Guys, come on, cut it out.

00:52:57.497 --> 00:53:01.209
- I'm so proud of you.
- I caught the ball, honey.

00:53:01.292 --> 00:53:03.420
- Mom, come on.
- I caught the ball.

00:53:03.503 --> 00:53:05.797
- Huddle up.
- I'm bored.

00:53:05.880 --> 00:53:08.258
Here. Dina, come on. Let's go.

00:53:08.341 --> 00:53:12.262
- You want a spritzer?
- What? Oh, a spritzer. Yummy.

00:53:12.345 --> 00:53:15.891
Dad, you've got to focus.
He's beating you down the field.

00:53:15.975 --> 00:53:18.102
- You want me to be macho-wacho?
- What?

00:53:18.185 --> 00:53:20.563
Have I ever said "macho-wacho" to you?

00:53:20.646 --> 00:53:24.233
I got it.
Gay, I won't disappoint you.

00:53:24.316 --> 00:53:26.819
OK, let's try again.
I want to stop and go.

00:53:26.902 --> 00:53:30.448
Fake the short pass and hit me
with a Hail Mary. Got that?

00:53:30.531 --> 00:53:33.409
Yeah. Do you want
to mix it up a little, or...

00:53:33.492 --> 00:53:37.204
No. I've exposed Bernie's weakness.
I want to take advantage of it.

00:53:37.288 --> 00:53:40.332
Exposed his weakness?
OK. All right. On four?

00:53:40.416 --> 00:53:41.917
Four.

00:53:52.888 --> 00:53:56.475
Just you and me, Jack.
Mano a mano.

00:53:56.558 --> 00:53:58.435
Think you can take me, Flower Man?

00:53:58.518 --> 00:54:01.354
Pretty sure I can, Mr Mom.

00:54:02.189 --> 00:54:03.982
You're going down, Byrnesy boy.

00:54:04.066 --> 00:54:06.151
I'm gonna rearrange your bouquet.

00:54:08.445 --> 00:54:11.698
Sell the pump-fake, Greg.
That Focker's gonna bite.

00:54:22.877 --> 00:54:25.713
One. Two. Three.

00:54:25.797 --> 00:54:27.799
Four.

00:54:54.742 --> 00:54:56.744
- Oh, God.
- Daddy, are you OK?

00:54:59.080 --> 00:55:01.916
Shit. Jack, don't move.

00:55:03.584 --> 00:55:07.171
- Hey, Jack, are you OK?
- I'm fine, Greg. Thank you.

00:55:07.255 --> 00:55:11.342
I see that kind of injury all the time.
Let me give you a quick exam.

00:55:11.426 --> 00:55:16.681
No, I'm fine.
I'll have my doctor look at it at home.

00:55:17.390 --> 00:55:18.850
OK.

00:55:18.933 --> 00:55:22.270
It's amazing how your father
anticipated the pump-fake.

00:55:22.353 --> 00:55:26.399
It's almost like
he knew it was coming.

00:55:27.233 --> 00:55:32.030
Well, he definitely takes
competition seriously.

00:55:32.114 --> 00:55:34.533
How a man handles himself
on the field

00:55:34.616 --> 00:55:37.035
says a lot about his character.

00:55:37.119 --> 00:55:41.081
- Know what I mean?
- Yeah. OK.

00:55:44.877 --> 00:55:48.589
- Hey.
- Hey, we got him, didn't we, dude?

00:55:48.672 --> 00:55:51.049
- Was he impressed?
- No, Dad. He wasn't.

00:55:51.133 --> 00:55:53.677
That was a hard shot,
you could have hurt him.

00:55:53.761 --> 00:55:56.346
I just wanted it to be fun,
but you wanted to win

00:55:56.430 --> 00:55:58.682
so, you know,
you got me all steamed up.

00:55:58.766 --> 00:56:02.854
I asked you to play a little defence,
not turn it into a blood sport.

00:56:02.937 --> 00:56:05.315
I play too easy. I play too hard.

00:56:05.398 --> 00:56:09.152
- What are you asking me to do?
- I'm not asking anything of you, Dad.

00:56:09.235 --> 00:56:12.655
Just go down there and apologize.
He thinks it was a cheap shot.

00:56:12.739 --> 00:56:15.366
- Sure. OK. Whatever you say.
- OK.

00:56:18.495 --> 00:56:21.956
- I can't win with this kid.
- Honey, it's OK.

00:56:22.040 --> 00:56:24.125
- Hi, baby.
- Hey.

00:56:24.209 --> 00:56:26.127
So...

00:56:26.211 --> 00:56:29.089
- How far along is Pam?
- What?

00:56:29.172 --> 00:56:31.424
Come on,
I knew it the minute I saw her.

00:56:31.508 --> 00:56:35.429
Her boobs are bigger, she's hormonal,
no wine at dinner, no football.

00:56:36.138 --> 00:56:39.058
She just found out yesterday.

00:56:39.809 --> 00:56:43.145
Honey.
My bubeleh's gonna have a baby.

00:56:43.229 --> 00:56:45.981
My bubeleh's gonna be a father.
Oh, my God.

00:56:46.065 --> 00:56:48.859
Tell me. Talk to me.
This is so exciting.

00:56:48.943 --> 00:56:49.985
What?

00:56:50.069 --> 00:56:52.988
- You didn't tell Dad?
- Not yet. He's gonna plotz.

00:56:53.072 --> 00:56:54.907
- You can't tell him.
- Why not?

00:56:54.990 --> 00:56:58.702
Because he can't keep a secret.
Do you think Jack knows?

00:56:58.786 --> 00:57:02.665
That guy is in such denial,
he thinks his daughter's still a virgin.

00:57:02.748 --> 00:57:06.085
Pam doesn't want to tell him
till after the wedding.

00:57:06.168 --> 00:57:08.045
- That is ridiculous.
- It isn't.

00:57:08.129 --> 00:57:10.756
- You don't know him.
- Fine. My lips are sealed.

00:57:10.840 --> 00:57:14.176
I am so excited and thrilled for you.

00:57:14.760 --> 00:57:17.138
I'm so happy for you two.

00:57:18.305 --> 00:57:21.225
- Did you plan this?
- No, it just sorta happened.

00:57:21.308 --> 00:57:23.394
- How did it happen?
- How?

00:57:23.477 --> 00:57:25.771
It just happened.
You know how it happens.

00:57:25.855 --> 00:57:27.898
I mean, I'm not gonna go into details.

00:57:27.982 --> 00:57:30.234
- But, honey, I love details.
- Sorry.

00:57:30.317 --> 00:57:32.361
All right. OK.

00:57:32.445 --> 00:57:35.448
You know, honey,
many unplanned pregnancies happen

00:57:35.531 --> 00:57:39.034
because the man
is such a sexual dynamo

00:57:39.118 --> 00:57:41.370
and the woman craves his sperm

00:57:41.454 --> 00:57:44.583
on an unconscious
but very powerful level.

00:57:44.666 --> 00:57:47.586
I'm not comfortable
having this conversation.

00:57:47.669 --> 00:57:50.589
- No?
- I've said that since I was 11.

00:57:50.672 --> 00:57:53.842
- All right. Love you.
- Love you, too.

00:57:55.302 --> 00:57:57.721
Jack, what say you and me
go into town?

00:57:57.804 --> 00:58:02.392
- I got a guy who can fix your RV.
- I'm in far too much physical agony.

00:58:02.476 --> 00:58:06.313
I'm sorry. But it'll be good for you
to get out and about.

00:58:06.396 --> 00:58:09.775
Perfect. I can take the girls
shopping in Coconut Grove.

00:58:09.858 --> 00:58:12.611
Little Jack is on
a specific napping schedule.

00:58:12.694 --> 00:58:15.697
- I'd better stay here.
- No. Go.

00:58:15.781 --> 00:58:19.786
Greg can watch him.
He has wonderful parental instincts.

00:58:19.869 --> 00:58:23.122
Greg deals with little kids
in the E.R. All the time.

00:58:23.206 --> 00:58:25.958
They don't call me
Barry Poppins for nothing.

00:58:26.042 --> 00:58:28.086
That's funny.

00:58:28.169 --> 00:58:30.463
Why would someone
call you Barry Poppins?

00:58:34.717 --> 00:58:36.844
They wouldn't.

00:59:01.245 --> 00:59:04.123
Remember, Greg,
we're Ferberizing him,

00:59:04.206 --> 00:59:05.791
so unless it's an emergency,

00:59:05.874 --> 00:59:10.212
under no circumstances
should you pick him up when he cries.

00:59:10.295 --> 00:59:12.673
- OK.
- He's learning to self-soothe.

00:59:12.756 --> 00:59:15.342
That means no television,
no unapproved toys,

00:59:15.426 --> 00:59:18.721
and most of all, no monkey business
of any kind. Clear?

00:59:19.513 --> 00:59:20.931
No monkey business.

00:59:21.014 --> 00:59:24.643
- Jack. Shall we get a move on?
- I'm ready.

00:59:35.863 --> 00:59:38.449
I love this, Roz.
This is a great find.

00:59:38.532 --> 00:59:43.245
Oh, good. It's loose, so you can wear it
even if you gain a few pounds.

00:59:43.328 --> 00:59:45.372
Isn't that lovely?

00:59:45.456 --> 00:59:49.001
Honey, are you all right?
You look a little flushed.

00:59:49.084 --> 00:59:51.670
It's the heat.
It takes some getting used to.

00:59:51.754 --> 00:59:54.798
I'm fine, I'm gonna try this on.
Thank you, Roz.

00:59:54.882 --> 00:59:59.262
And now, madam. Let's find something
sexy for the mama to wear.

00:59:59.345 --> 01:00:01.347
Look at this little number.

01:00:01.431 --> 01:00:03.850
I think this'll get
Jack's blood flowing.

01:00:03.933 --> 01:00:06.019
Jack would have a coronary.

01:00:06.102 --> 01:00:08.021
I thought so.

01:00:08.104 --> 01:00:10.940
Oh, Dina. Talk to me.

01:00:11.024 --> 01:00:15.820
What's really going on with that man?
He seems very uptight.

01:00:15.904 --> 01:00:18.281
Jack's always been a little wound up.

01:00:18.364 --> 01:00:20.408
His job was very stressful.

01:00:20.492 --> 01:00:22.243
Being a florist is stressful?

01:00:22.327 --> 01:00:24.579
There's more to it than people think.

01:00:25.663 --> 01:00:28.917
If you don't mind me asking...
How's your sex life?

01:00:30.126 --> 01:00:32.129
I can't tell you that.

01:00:32.213 --> 01:00:34.548
What's the big deal?
I'm a professional.

01:00:34.632 --> 01:00:38.135
I'm a sex therapist
specializing in senior sexuality.

01:00:38.219 --> 01:00:40.471
I knew those weren't yoga mats.

01:00:40.554 --> 01:00:42.390
No.

01:00:42.473 --> 01:00:45.142
Well, we're not 25 anymore.

01:00:45.226 --> 01:00:46.936
You're not dead, either.

01:00:47.019 --> 01:00:49.730
Many couples our age
lack intimacy in marriage.

01:00:49.814 --> 01:00:53.401
I didn't say we weren't intimate.
There are special occasions.

01:00:53.484 --> 01:00:57.571
Anniversaries and...
Well, on our anniversary.

01:00:59.323 --> 01:01:01.325
- I beg your pardon?
- Not good.

01:01:01.409 --> 01:01:04.328
I think that I can help
you and Jack reconnect.

01:01:04.412 --> 01:01:05.664
How?

01:01:05.747 --> 01:01:10.544
Well, it all starts with
a little bit of,

01:01:10.627 --> 01:01:13.130
how shall I say, intimate contact.

01:01:13.213 --> 01:01:15.924
Yeah? Oh, my. That tingles.

01:01:16.007 --> 01:01:21.012
Every pleasure in the body
can be stimulated through the ears.

01:01:21.096 --> 01:01:24.474
I would give it a shot
with Jack tonight.

01:01:24.558 --> 01:01:28.353
- What's going on over here?
- Nothing. Just having some girl talk.

01:01:29.312 --> 01:01:30.480
Roz.

01:01:59.092 --> 01:02:01.261
OK. Here's the deal, LJ.

01:02:01.344 --> 01:02:03.180
I'll give you some attention.

01:02:03.263 --> 01:02:06.975
But you have to promise you don't tell
Grandpa Jack anything, OK?

01:02:07.642 --> 01:02:09.644
All right. Good.

01:02:11.813 --> 01:02:14.734
OK, I don't know what that means,
but I'll trust you.

01:02:16.319 --> 01:02:19.989
All right. Here we go.
OK. OK.

01:02:20.073 --> 01:02:22.075
It's OK.

01:02:22.700 --> 01:02:25.244
A little huggy-wuggy
never hurt anybody.

01:02:33.419 --> 01:02:38.382
I know we're not supposed to watch TV,
but we won't tell Grandpa Jack.

01:02:38.466 --> 01:02:41.219
Oh, look. Look. It's Elmo.

01:02:41.302 --> 01:02:43.513
Do you like fishes?

01:02:43.596 --> 01:02:45.766
You don't like fishes? No.

01:02:48.394 --> 01:02:50.562
OK. OK.

01:02:58.695 --> 01:03:02.074
Hey. I got an idea. Let's see
what pre-approved genius toys

01:03:02.157 --> 01:03:06.370
Grandpa Jack has
in his big basket of fun.

01:03:06.453 --> 01:03:10.249
Oh, look. Look. It's a...
It's a... an abacus.

01:03:10.332 --> 01:03:13.085
Abacuses aren't that much fun,
are they?

01:03:13.168 --> 01:03:15.337
I don't know why
people think they are.

01:03:15.421 --> 01:03:19.759
Look at this. Look.
It's bolts on a plank.

01:03:20.260 --> 01:03:23.012
Fun bolts. No, not very fun.

01:03:23.638 --> 01:03:25.598
Hey.

01:03:27.142 --> 01:03:30.311
A little birdie. Look. He sings.

01:03:30.395 --> 01:03:33.273
And if that mocking bird don't sing

01:03:33.356 --> 01:03:37.402
Then Greg is gonna buy you
a diamond ring

01:03:37.485 --> 01:03:41.573
And if that diamond ring gets sold

01:03:41.656 --> 01:03:46.828
Greg's gonna feel like
a big asshole

01:03:48.037 --> 01:03:50.874
Ass... hole.

01:03:51.624 --> 01:03:55.420
No, no, you don't want to say that word.
No, that's a bad word.

01:03:55.503 --> 01:03:58.339
- Ass... hole.
- No, no.

01:04:01.676 --> 01:04:04.554
- I thought this was a repair shop.
- This is better.

01:04:04.637 --> 01:04:08.141
That's Isabel's son, Jorge.
15 years old. He can fix anything.

01:04:08.224 --> 01:04:10.226
Hey, Bernie.

01:04:11.227 --> 01:04:12.854
Georgie-boy.

01:04:12.937 --> 01:04:16.399
So, I think you got a tear
in the bilateral valve.

01:04:16.483 --> 01:04:19.235
- 15, huh?
- Genius.

01:04:21.196 --> 01:04:26.034
Jorge, no more tinkering until
you finish your science homework.

01:04:27.787 --> 01:04:33.334
I was gonna finish it,
but Mr Gerson is out with rickets.

01:04:33.417 --> 01:04:38.714
He said definitely don't do it
until his rickets are cured, and...

01:04:40.049 --> 01:04:42.510
Who knows if he's ever
telling the truth?

01:04:42.593 --> 01:04:43.886
Bernie?

01:04:45.096 --> 01:04:47.181
I made chimichangas.
You guys want?

01:04:47.264 --> 01:04:49.892
Have you ever known me
to turn down a chimi?

01:04:49.975 --> 01:04:52.978
- Jack, you in the mood, amigo?
- No, thanks.

01:04:56.399 --> 01:05:00.069
Why are you looking at me funny?
I said I...

01:05:00.152 --> 01:05:03.365
No, you just look like somebody I know.

01:05:04.574 --> 01:05:07.077
No, no, no. Tadpole. Tadpole.

01:05:07.160 --> 01:05:11.498
- Can you say tadpole?
- Ass... hole.

01:05:11.581 --> 01:05:14.209
Jack's mole.
Jack has a big mole on his face.

01:05:14.292 --> 01:05:17.838
- Is your father a mechanic?
- I don't know. I never met him.

01:05:17.921 --> 01:05:21.174
Never met your dad?
Well, that's unfortunate.

01:05:21.258 --> 01:05:23.260
But very interesting.

01:05:23.343 --> 01:05:25.303
Mind if I take a picture of you?

01:05:25.387 --> 01:05:28.265
- You know, just for fun.
- OK.

01:05:32.185 --> 01:05:34.897
Mr Moose likes to say good words

01:05:34.981 --> 01:05:37.275
He doesn't like you to say bad words

01:05:37.358 --> 01:05:39.527
Ass... hole.

01:05:39.610 --> 01:05:41.821
OK, just hang on a sec there.

01:05:44.031 --> 01:05:45.658
Ass... hole.

01:05:47.994 --> 01:05:51.205
- Yeah, hello?
- Hi, it's me. How's it going?

01:05:51.289 --> 01:05:54.959
Horribly.
He's crying and screaming and cursing.

01:05:55.042 --> 01:05:57.712
That poor kid
is desperate for human contact.

01:05:57.795 --> 01:06:00.715
Hold him and kiss him.
Do whatever it takes.

01:06:00.798 --> 01:06:04.260
I've been hugging him in secret.
Feeding him chocolates, too.

01:06:10.808 --> 01:06:13.394
...and told Elmo all about it.

01:06:13.478 --> 01:06:15.188
All animals have babies.

01:06:20.151 --> 01:06:22.653
Say hello to my little friend.

01:06:25.364 --> 01:06:29.035
He's probably teething,
so put a dab of rum in his milk.

01:06:29.118 --> 01:06:31.454
It'll ease the pain
and he'll go to sleep.

01:06:31.537 --> 01:06:34.582
- Give him a drink?
- Less than a thimbleful.

01:06:34.665 --> 01:06:37.502
You don't want Jack coming home
to a screaming baby.

01:06:46.428 --> 01:06:48.847
Listen to your mother.
Goodbye. I love you.

01:06:48.931 --> 01:06:51.016
All right. Mom?

01:06:57.689 --> 01:07:01.110
OK, Little Jack,
I got a surprise for you.

01:07:03.654 --> 01:07:05.364
Little Jack?

01:07:06.365 --> 01:07:09.535
Mr Moose is looking for you.
Oh, shit.

01:07:09.618 --> 01:07:11.578
Where the hell did he go?

01:07:11.662 --> 01:07:14.206
LJ? Little Jack.

01:07:18.670 --> 01:07:22.382
LJ. Little Jack. Where are you?

01:07:23.133 --> 01:07:25.677
Does that Jorge
resemble anyone you know?

01:07:25.760 --> 01:07:27.720
No one I know.

01:07:37.981 --> 01:07:41.401
There's something
you don't see every day.

01:07:41.484 --> 01:07:43.528
Focker. Focker.

01:07:43.611 --> 01:07:46.156
OK, I know this looks bad,
but I can explain.

01:07:46.239 --> 01:07:48.700
What happened?
I said no monkey business.

01:07:48.783 --> 01:07:52.037
- There was no monkey business.
- You're wearing my breast.

01:07:52.121 --> 01:07:55.040
Little Jack is drinking.
Moses is sodomizing Jinxy.

01:07:55.124 --> 01:07:58.669
No monkey business?
What is going on here?

01:07:58.753 --> 01:08:00.838
- We're home.
- Hey, guys.

01:08:00.921 --> 01:08:02.631
Give me the bottle.

01:08:02.715 --> 01:08:05.634
- What happened to Little Jack?
- His hands are stuck.

01:08:05.718 --> 01:08:07.595
- Thanks.
- You bet they're stuck.

01:08:07.678 --> 01:08:10.931
Greg, how did this happen?
And why are you wearing antlers?

01:08:11.015 --> 01:08:14.518
- It's very complicated.
- It's just glue. He's fine.

01:08:14.602 --> 01:08:17.396
He's not. If he had
the use of his hands, he'd say so.

01:08:17.480 --> 01:08:21.776
- All right.
- Honey, are you OK?

01:08:21.859 --> 01:08:23.986
- Greg...
- Dina? Pam?

01:08:24.070 --> 01:08:26.614
Yes, Dad. Coming.
Little Jack?

01:08:26.697 --> 01:08:28.991
Honey, I said a thimble,
not a bottle.

01:08:33.162 --> 01:08:35.164
- Oh, Greg.
- Hey.

01:08:35.956 --> 01:08:39.502
- How's the little guy doing?
- Everything's just as good as new.

01:08:40.169 --> 01:08:42.171
- Yeah?
- Dad, come on.

01:08:50.805 --> 01:08:52.890
- Is he all right?
- He's asleep.

01:08:52.973 --> 01:08:56.937
I don't care if they called you
Larry Poppins. You can't handle a child.

01:08:57.020 --> 01:09:00.732
- It was Barry Poppins.
- What cocktail were you making?

01:09:00.816 --> 01:09:04.194
He's teething. I told Greg
to give him rum to ease the pain.

01:09:04.277 --> 01:09:05.612
- It was your idea?
- Yes.

01:09:05.695 --> 01:09:09.908
- What is wrong with you people?
- I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums.

01:09:09.991 --> 01:09:13.912
Look what happened to him.
You couldn't follow simple instructions?

01:09:13.995 --> 01:09:17.040
He was screaming so I gave him
a little attention, OK?

01:09:17.124 --> 01:09:20.669
These setbacks are disastrous
for his development.

01:09:20.752 --> 01:09:21.878
Don't exaggerate.

01:09:21.962 --> 01:09:24.756
The child is adorable,
but he's not Little Buddha.

01:09:24.840 --> 01:09:26.216
What are you saying?

01:09:26.299 --> 01:09:29.970
I've seen that kid eat at least
15 boogers since he's been here.

01:09:30.053 --> 01:09:33.641
I've got news for you.
Prodigies don't eat their own boogers.

01:09:33.724 --> 01:09:36.602
And prodigies don't come in tenth place.

01:09:36.686 --> 01:09:38.438
OK, Dad, that's my fiancé.

01:09:38.521 --> 01:09:41.441
I have never seen people
celebrate such mediocrity.

01:09:41.524 --> 01:09:44.902
Why? Because we love our son?
We hug our son?

01:09:44.986 --> 01:09:48.364
The truth is, you are so concerned
about that Little Jack

01:09:48.448 --> 01:09:52.493
but I think it's the Little Jack in you
who's crying out for a hug.

01:09:54.120 --> 01:09:56.456
The Little Jack in me?

01:09:57.665 --> 01:10:02.462
You have issues. You run around with
a rubber boob strapped to your chest.

01:10:02.545 --> 01:10:04.631
- Were you breast-fed?
- Mom, stop.

01:10:04.715 --> 01:10:06.300
- Key question.
- I guess not.

01:10:06.383 --> 01:10:08.260
Spare the drugstore psychology.

01:10:08.343 --> 01:10:12.347
- It all comes down to that.
- Everybody, all right, just...

01:10:12.431 --> 01:10:15.350
Everybody just stop. OK?

01:10:15.434 --> 01:10:19.813
Jack, yes, Little Jack wouldn't
stop crying so I gave him some hugs

01:10:19.897 --> 01:10:21.482
and I let him watch TV.

01:10:21.565 --> 01:10:23.734
I answered the phone,
I came back in,

01:10:23.817 --> 01:10:26.695
he'd let himself out of the playpen,
put on Scarface

01:10:26.779 --> 01:10:29.907
and glued his hands
to the rum bottle. OK?

01:10:32.743 --> 01:10:34.787
- That's it.
- Oh. That's it.

01:10:34.870 --> 01:10:37.873
Greg just said that's it,
so I feel better. That's it.

01:10:40.000 --> 01:10:43.921
OK, let it go.
He's fine, Greg. He's asleep.

01:10:46.715 --> 01:10:48.008
He spoke.

01:10:48.092 --> 01:10:50.594
Ass... hole.

01:10:50.677 --> 01:10:53.514
- What?
- I dunno. Come on.

01:10:53.597 --> 01:10:55.641
Did he say what I thought he said?

01:10:56.975 --> 01:10:59.686
Little Jack, what did you just say?

01:10:59.770 --> 01:11:02.856
Ass... hole.

01:11:05.609 --> 01:11:07.611
His first word?

01:11:11.533 --> 01:11:14.035
It just slipped out of my mouth. He...

01:11:14.119 --> 01:11:16.246
- He has a mind like a sponge.
- Enough.

01:11:16.329 --> 01:11:18.206
I'm calling a family conference.

01:11:18.289 --> 01:11:21.668
Great idea. Let's finally get
your problems out on the table.

01:11:21.751 --> 01:11:25.797
With my own family. Excuse us. I'd like
to talk to Pam and Dina in private.

01:11:25.880 --> 01:11:28.383
Of course. Of course.
Take your time.

01:11:29.175 --> 01:11:30.176
Come on, honey. Come on.

01:11:33.138 --> 01:11:36.433
I'm not sure this wedding
is a good idea, to say the least.

01:11:36.516 --> 01:11:38.726
I don't like what I see
of these Fockers.

01:11:38.810 --> 01:11:39.853
What?

01:11:39.936 --> 01:11:41.813
Has Greg mentioned a Jorge to you?

01:11:41.896 --> 01:11:44.566
I don't know
what you're talking about. No, why?

01:11:44.649 --> 01:11:47.611
I think your fiancé
may have skeletons in his closet

01:11:47.695 --> 01:11:51.490
he's not telling you about.
Skeletons don't like living in closets.

01:11:51.574 --> 01:11:53.617
God, here we go again.
Dad, listen.

01:11:53.701 --> 01:11:56.454
- Greg has no skeletons, OK?
- Oh, really?

01:11:56.537 --> 01:11:57.955
- No.
- You know that?

01:11:58.038 --> 01:11:59.248
- Yes.
- I see.

01:11:59.331 --> 01:12:00.958
- She knows.
- I'm not a child.

01:12:01.041 --> 01:12:02.668
This wedding is happening.

01:12:02.752 --> 01:12:05.504
The sooner you accept it,
the better for all of us.

01:12:05.588 --> 01:12:09.133
- I can't talk to you.
- Wait a second, sweetheart.

01:12:10.676 --> 01:12:13.929
I'm not so sure Roz
is a yoga instructor either.

01:12:14.013 --> 01:12:16.766
Jack, you promised
you would behave yourself.

01:12:16.849 --> 01:12:19.436
What you said to them
was really hurtful.

01:12:19.519 --> 01:12:22.147
I think you should go up there
and apologise.

01:12:22.230 --> 01:12:24.232
I'm not going to apologise to them.

01:12:25.108 --> 01:12:27.194
Jack.

01:12:30.322 --> 01:12:35.160
A little birdie told me
that somebody's gonna be a daddy.

01:12:35.243 --> 01:12:36.995
- Mom.
- Sorry, honey.

01:12:37.079 --> 01:12:38.997
Look at that face.
How could I keep it a secret?

01:12:39.081 --> 01:12:41.333
He's so excited about being a grandpa.

01:12:41.416 --> 01:12:43.376
We can call me Poppity-Pop.

01:12:43.460 --> 01:12:45.754
- Pop-a-doodle-doo.
- OK, OK. Look.

01:12:45.837 --> 01:12:47.547
- But no champagne, OK?
- Why?

01:12:47.631 --> 01:12:48.715
Jack's angry.

01:12:48.799 --> 01:12:51.635
He's also a bit meshuggener.
Come on, honey.

01:12:51.718 --> 01:12:53.845
How often do we get
to be grandparents?

01:12:53.929 --> 01:12:56.223
- We are having a toast.
- This is a secret.

01:12:56.306 --> 01:13:00.018
- Jack can't know till we're married.
- Why? We're honest people.

01:13:00.102 --> 01:13:03.021
No. I can't stand this secrecy any more.

01:13:03.105 --> 01:13:04.481
Please, be quiet.

01:13:04.564 --> 01:13:07.651
Why diminish our joy
because they live in denial?

01:13:08.193 --> 01:13:09.778
Seriously.

01:13:12.572 --> 01:13:14.533
I promised Pam, OK?

01:13:14.616 --> 01:13:16.910
She thinks it'll break his heart.

01:13:16.993 --> 01:13:19.329
- I'm not drinking.
- Your father's right.

01:13:19.413 --> 01:13:20.914
This is the 21 st century.

01:13:20.997 --> 01:13:23.667
Married or not,
there's no shame in fatherhood.

01:13:23.750 --> 01:13:25.794
This is the fruit of your loins.

01:13:25.877 --> 01:13:28.548
That is so beautiful.
Say that to him again.

01:13:28.631 --> 01:13:30.550
- The fruit of your loins?
- Yes.

01:13:30.633 --> 01:13:32.802
This is the fruit of your loins.

01:13:32.885 --> 01:13:35.221
Let's toast and make a sandwich.

01:13:35.304 --> 01:13:37.557
Mom wants to be the cheese.

01:13:37.640 --> 01:13:39.600
What are you doing?

01:13:40.726 --> 01:13:42.770
What did you do?

01:13:43.604 --> 01:13:46.858
- You OK there, Jacko?
- What's the matter? What happened?

01:13:48.067 --> 01:13:52.405
I was coming to apologise
and my back went into spasm.

01:13:52.488 --> 01:13:55.366
It's tender
from that horrific football accident.

01:13:55.450 --> 01:13:57.994
I feel it.
You're knotted like a pretzel.

01:13:58.077 --> 01:13:59.997
You must be in a lot of pain.

01:14:00.080 --> 01:14:01.832
I don't mind. I learn from pain.

01:14:01.915 --> 01:14:05.294
Pain, schmain. My fingers are magic.
I'll work out the kinks.

01:14:05.377 --> 01:14:08.005
Oh, yeah,
that's a lovely offer, Jack.

01:14:08.088 --> 01:14:09.965
No, thanks, I'll be fine.

01:14:10.048 --> 01:14:12.885
My wife does
wonderful body work, Jack.

01:14:12.968 --> 01:14:14.595
I don't think he needs it.

01:14:19.099 --> 01:14:21.602
OK, handsome, shirt off.

01:14:21.685 --> 01:14:23.437
I'd rather have it on.

01:14:23.520 --> 01:14:26.774
Oh, no dice. No, no, no.
It has to come off.

01:14:27.399 --> 01:14:28.442
Lovely.

01:14:28.525 --> 01:14:33.113
You know,
most back pain is psychological.

01:14:33.197 --> 01:14:37.285
We carry our emotional baggage
right here in our muscles.

01:14:39.037 --> 01:14:41.331
I've been watching you, Jack.

01:14:41.414 --> 01:14:43.249
Studying your body language.

01:14:43.333 --> 01:14:46.127
And you're a very sensual man.

01:14:46.211 --> 01:14:49.172
But I'm not sure you realize that.

01:14:49.255 --> 01:14:52.759
- What are you doing?
- It's a technique I learned in Hawaii.

01:14:52.842 --> 01:14:55.136
It's a Lomi-Lomi massage.

01:14:55.220 --> 01:14:58.973
Named after the gentle waves
of the Polynesian sea.

01:14:59.057 --> 01:15:02.685
The waves go in,
and the waves go out.

01:15:02.769 --> 01:15:05.855
The waves go in...

01:15:06.523 --> 01:15:08.483
Hit some driftwood.

01:15:10.443 --> 01:15:14.114
Jack Byrnes, you are a caged lion.

01:15:14.197 --> 01:15:16.908
But lions can't be captives
their entire lives.

01:15:16.991 --> 01:15:20.870
They have to be free
to roam the bush, free and wild.

01:15:20.954 --> 01:15:25.917
Your wife is a hot, sexy tigress.
She's waiting for you to pounce on her.

01:15:26.000 --> 01:15:28.545
Let me hear you roar, baby, roar.

01:15:28.628 --> 01:15:30.839
Your body is talking to me.

01:15:30.922 --> 01:15:33.133
It's hungry for action.
I can feel it.

01:15:33.216 --> 01:15:37.178
- Unleash the beast inside you.
- Stop it, you're hurting him.

01:15:37.262 --> 01:15:39.973
I am not hurting him,
I am helping him.

01:15:40.056 --> 01:15:41.600
Just don't...

01:15:41.684 --> 01:15:43.644
You shouldn't move just yet.

01:15:43.727 --> 01:15:47.356
Jack, come back for
an afternoon session. It'll do you good.

01:15:47.440 --> 01:15:49.442
- What are you doing?
- We were close.

01:15:49.525 --> 01:15:52.903
- I was getting through to him.
- He doesn't like to be touched.

01:15:52.987 --> 01:15:55.614
He has the emotional hide
of a rhinoceros.

01:15:55.698 --> 01:15:59.118
- Don't break him down.
- I was trying to do you a favour.

01:15:59.201 --> 01:16:01.245
You were riding him like Seabiscuit.

01:16:49.712 --> 01:16:51.506
Dial Foxtrot One.

01:16:56.761 --> 01:16:58.137
Alpha Foxtrot One.

01:16:58.221 --> 01:17:01.099
Foxtrot One,
I need a full comparative DNA analysis

01:17:01.182 --> 01:17:05.228
on one Gaylord M Focker,
one Jorge Villalobos,

01:17:05.311 --> 01:17:08.189
translation:
George House of the Wolves.

01:17:08.272 --> 01:17:11.692
- Might take a few weeks, Santa.
- I need a 12-hour turnaround.

01:17:11.776 --> 01:17:13.569
I'll secure physical evidence.

01:17:13.653 --> 01:17:16.489
Handoff at Harry Focker's
Good Time Supper Club,

01:17:16.572 --> 01:17:17.949
2100 hours tonight.

01:17:18.032 --> 01:17:19.826
You got it. Foxtrot One, out.

01:17:23.246 --> 01:17:25.957
- Hello.
- Bernie, this is Jack Byrnes.

01:17:26.040 --> 01:17:27.959
Where are you calling from?

01:17:28.042 --> 01:17:31.254
My RV. Would you have Greg
meet me here in three minutes?

01:17:31.337 --> 01:17:33.256
- Your trailer?
- Thanks. Goodbye.

01:17:33.339 --> 01:17:34.382
But...

01:17:36.592 --> 01:17:37.885
Hey, Gaylord.

01:17:37.969 --> 01:17:42.932
Jack wants you to meet him in
his trailer in precisely three minutes.

01:17:43.015 --> 01:17:47.437
And I have to tell you, El Stiffo
is really starting to freak me out.

01:17:47.520 --> 01:17:49.397
Greg, wait, OK?

01:17:49.480 --> 01:17:53.151
No matter how hard he probes you,
promise you will not break.

01:17:53.234 --> 01:17:55.445
I'm not ready to tell him I'm pregnant.

01:17:55.528 --> 01:17:57.114
- Honey.
- What?

01:17:57.197 --> 01:18:00.784
Let him probe.
Cos he's probing a brick wall.

01:18:03.287 --> 01:18:06.874
Now show me how you would
like a romantic evening to go.

01:18:06.957 --> 01:18:11.712
Jack, wine and candles.
Gosh, it's not even our anniversary.

01:18:11.795 --> 01:18:13.797
Come here, hot stuff.

01:18:14.882 --> 01:18:17.176
Yes. Yes.

01:18:17.259 --> 01:18:20.679
- Jack.
- That was good, Dina.

01:18:21.388 --> 01:18:24.057
- Jack?
- Down here, under the bed.

01:18:31.691 --> 01:18:33.693
Down here, Greg.

01:18:37.614 --> 01:18:39.824
Have a seat.

01:18:40.492 --> 01:18:42.535
Watch the panel.

01:18:43.453 --> 01:18:45.455
This is incredible.

01:18:56.549 --> 01:19:00.804
So this is like
your mobile command centre

01:19:00.887 --> 01:19:02.931
for all your spy activities?

01:19:03.014 --> 01:19:05.851
Mainly a secure space
for me to spend some alone time

01:19:05.935 --> 01:19:08.521
and reflect on my thoughts.

01:19:08.604 --> 01:19:10.231
Very cool.

01:19:10.314 --> 01:19:12.191
- Greg.
- Yeah?

01:19:12.274 --> 01:19:15.194
You'll recall we had a discussion
earlier in the week

01:19:15.277 --> 01:19:19.198
regarding my feelings about family,
legacies, children and so forth.

01:19:19.281 --> 01:19:20.866
Yeah, of course I recall.

01:19:22.535 --> 01:19:25.287
I'm going to just ask you once.

01:19:25.371 --> 01:19:27.581
Is there anything you want to tell me

01:19:27.665 --> 01:19:30.126
regarding things that
might have happened?

01:19:30.209 --> 01:19:33.129
Unplanned things.

01:19:33.212 --> 01:19:36.632
Things involving
the fruit of your loins.

01:19:40.094 --> 01:19:41.637
No.

01:19:50.104 --> 01:19:53.190
Well, if he's not going
to admit it on his own...

01:20:07.246 --> 01:20:09.623
- Hello.
- Hello, Jorge.

01:20:09.707 --> 01:20:13.378
- It's Jack Byrnes. Remember me?
- Yeah, sure.

01:20:13.462 --> 01:20:16.089
You came with Bernie.
You had that camera pen.

01:20:16.173 --> 01:20:17.883
Yeah, that's right.

01:20:17.966 --> 01:20:21.470
- Do you have any plans tonight?
- No.

01:20:21.553 --> 01:20:24.055
Good, cos I'd like
to invite you to a party.

01:20:42.532 --> 01:20:44.034
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hey.

01:20:44.117 --> 01:20:46.204
- Having a good time?
- No, not really.

01:20:46.287 --> 01:20:49.957
No? Did you tell your mother
I'm pregnant?

01:20:50.041 --> 01:20:52.502
She keeps touching my stomach, smiling.

01:20:52.585 --> 01:20:56.547
- Like that.
- No, I didn't tell her, she guessed.

01:20:56.631 --> 01:20:58.716
- She what?
- Then she told my dad.

01:20:58.800 --> 01:20:59.842
Oh, my God.

01:20:59.926 --> 01:21:03.262
Stop it, Bernie. Bernie, stop.

01:21:03.346 --> 01:21:04.764
It's not funny.

01:21:04.847 --> 01:21:07.391
- Well, I told my mom.
- What?

01:21:07.475 --> 01:21:09.310
- Yeah.
- What are you... I...

01:21:09.393 --> 01:21:11.062
- Your dad will find out.
- No.

01:21:11.145 --> 01:21:13.064
She knows him.
She won't say a word.

01:21:13.147 --> 01:21:15.358
- He's very suspicious.
- Greg.

01:21:15.441 --> 01:21:17.026
- Hi.
- Hi.

01:21:17.110 --> 01:21:18.904
Please take this to your mother.

01:21:18.987 --> 01:21:21.824
It's a wine spritzer.
That's all she drinks now.

01:21:21.907 --> 01:21:24.326
OK. You boys have fun.

01:21:28.789 --> 01:21:31.583
Nice... Nice party. Isn't it?

01:21:31.667 --> 01:21:35.838
Yeah, it is.
It's got a nice, festive vibe.

01:21:35.921 --> 01:21:38.590
You've met some of the cousins?

01:21:38.674 --> 01:21:41.802
I met some, yes, I met some...

01:21:41.885 --> 01:21:43.137
Dom.

01:21:43.220 --> 01:21:46.348
Yeah, Dom Focker,
that's my dad's first cousin.

01:21:46.432 --> 01:21:49.226
Did you meet his kids,
Randy and Orny?

01:21:49.309 --> 01:21:52.521
I've met Randy and Orny, yes.

01:21:52.604 --> 01:21:55.566
Come on, I want to introduce you
to somebody. Come on.

01:21:57.568 --> 01:21:59.528
There he is.

01:21:59.611 --> 01:22:01.572
Glad you could make it, Jorge.

01:22:02.781 --> 01:22:04.742
Thanks for the invite, Mr B.

01:22:04.825 --> 01:22:08.036
Greg, this is Jorge Villalobos.

01:22:08.120 --> 01:22:10.080
How you doing?

01:22:10.164 --> 01:22:11.790
Isabel's son.

01:22:11.874 --> 01:22:14.543
I didn't realise Isabel had a son.

01:22:15.669 --> 01:22:18.297
- When did she get married?
- She's not married.

01:22:18.380 --> 01:22:20.466
He's never met his father.

01:22:23.260 --> 01:22:26.431
I'm sorry.
I mean, that's too bad.

01:22:26.514 --> 01:22:28.475
Oh, no, it's cool.

01:22:28.558 --> 01:22:32.812
My mom said my dad wasn't
mature enough to deal with a kid.

01:22:32.896 --> 01:22:34.731
So, yeah.

01:22:34.814 --> 01:22:36.691
So how do you know each other?

01:22:36.775 --> 01:22:39.068
This young man
is quite the mechanic.

01:22:39.152 --> 01:22:41.863
He's only 15 years old.
Isn't that impressive?

01:22:41.946 --> 01:22:43.406
Really? You're 15?

01:22:43.490 --> 01:22:45.617
- Yeah.
- That is impressive.

01:22:45.700 --> 01:22:48.453
- He's a handsome kid, huh?
- Yeah.

01:22:48.536 --> 01:22:51.623
Almost like a young,
half-Hispanic Marlon Brando.

01:22:54.209 --> 01:22:58.254
Well, I'll leave you two guys to talk.

01:22:58.338 --> 01:23:00.424
You probably have a lot in common.

01:23:07.640 --> 01:23:10.643
Well...

01:23:10.726 --> 01:23:14.188
So you're 15?

01:23:35.585 --> 01:23:38.463
Come on, you Fockers, conga.

01:23:38.547 --> 01:23:40.924
Did you order the Tom Collins, sir?

01:23:41.007 --> 01:23:43.135
Is it made with fresh lemon juice?

01:23:43.218 --> 01:23:46.680
They're Bermuda lemons, sir,
and I squeezed them myself.

01:23:49.141 --> 01:23:50.851
Stay safe, Santa.

01:23:54.312 --> 01:23:56.314
Go, Bernie. Go, Focker.

01:24:06.700 --> 01:24:08.952
Go, Bernie. Go, Focker.

01:24:12.247 --> 01:24:15.083
I mean, it's romantic out here,
don't you think?

01:24:15.959 --> 01:24:17.919
The moon, the sea.

01:24:18.003 --> 01:24:20.797
- Isn't it nice?
- Yeah, it's nice.

01:24:22.924 --> 01:24:25.135
You look very handsome tonight, Jack.

01:24:25.218 --> 01:24:27.262
Thank you, I...

01:24:31.683 --> 01:24:33.894
What are you doing to my ears?

01:24:33.977 --> 01:24:36.563
Nothing. I was...

01:24:38.982 --> 01:24:41.068
Gay. Gay.

01:24:41.152 --> 01:24:43.863
I have to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.

01:24:43.946 --> 01:24:45.948
OK.

01:24:54.707 --> 01:24:56.709
- Hello, Greg.
- Hi, Jack.

01:25:00.463 --> 01:25:03.049
Did you have a nice conversation
with your son?

01:25:03.132 --> 01:25:06.427
Jack, I never even
met that kid before.

01:25:06.511 --> 01:25:09.764
Focker, you've been
covering this up from the beginning.

01:25:09.847 --> 01:25:13.726
No, I haven't, Jack. It's just
another one of your crazy theories.

01:25:13.810 --> 01:25:16.855
Greg, you're still in
the Circle of Trust,

01:25:16.939 --> 01:25:19.733
so I'm gonna give you
one more chance.

01:25:19.817 --> 01:25:23.737
Are you ready to admit
you've been hiding this from Pam?

01:25:23.821 --> 01:25:25.322
No, I haven't.

01:25:25.405 --> 01:25:27.825
- You're not hiding anything?
- No.

01:25:27.908 --> 01:25:30.160
All right?

01:25:30.244 --> 01:25:32.996
Oh, Greg...

01:25:33.080 --> 01:25:35.999
What are you holding?
What's in your hand?

01:25:36.083 --> 01:25:37.501
Nothing.

01:25:37.584 --> 01:25:40.838
I can see in the mirror.
There's something in your hand.

01:25:40.921 --> 01:25:43.424
- Don't worry about it.
- Is that a needle?

01:25:44.091 --> 01:25:46.093
Yes, it is.

01:25:46.176 --> 01:25:50.098
You seem tense.
I was going to offer you a sedative.

01:25:50.181 --> 01:25:53.560
- You're joking, right?
- No, I'm not.

01:25:54.894 --> 01:25:57.647
- Jack...
- Is that tartar sauce on your shoulder?

01:25:57.730 --> 01:25:59.774
Tartar sauce?

01:26:02.694 --> 01:26:04.904
Why?

01:26:04.988 --> 01:26:08.825
You've been injected with
a concentrated dose of sodium pentothal,

01:26:08.908 --> 01:26:12.537
street name "truth serum".
You will have no recollection of this.

01:26:12.620 --> 01:26:17.041
Tonight, for the first time in
your life, you are going to be honest.

01:26:19.753 --> 01:26:21.838
Keep the pressure on it.

01:26:21.921 --> 01:26:25.091
Get down, Little Jack.
Get funky.

01:26:29.179 --> 01:26:31.055
- Hey there, preggers.
- Quiet.

01:26:31.139 --> 01:26:33.308
- How you doing?
- Where've you been?

01:26:33.391 --> 01:26:35.351
I went to the bathroom to pee,

01:26:35.435 --> 01:26:39.814
and now I am talking to you, my fiancée,
who I've delayed marrying for two years

01:26:39.898 --> 01:26:43.443
because I didn't want
our parents to meet.

01:26:43.526 --> 01:26:44.611
What?

01:26:44.694 --> 01:26:47.572
- What?
- What?

01:26:47.655 --> 01:26:51.284
You don't like me? It's OK.
I don't like your little red outfit.

01:26:51.367 --> 01:26:53.495
Makes you look
like a demon baby.

01:26:53.578 --> 01:26:56.457
Maybe I'll get you
a pitchfork for Christmas,

01:26:56.540 --> 01:26:58.834
so we can put you on a can
of Underwood ham.

01:26:58.918 --> 01:27:01.253
I'm sorry I can't make
little poop sounds

01:27:01.337 --> 01:27:05.257
and I can't make little things that
tell people when I want to do things.

01:27:05.341 --> 01:27:08.135
Guess what.
I can make a sign to you, too.

01:27:08.219 --> 01:27:09.929
How's that for a sign?

01:27:13.265 --> 01:27:15.351
Look, Bernie's onstage. Come on.

01:27:15.434 --> 01:27:17.937
Now, to say a few words,

01:27:18.020 --> 01:27:22.441
one of the great
registered nurses of all time,

01:27:22.525 --> 01:27:24.735
Gaylord Myron Focker.

01:27:24.819 --> 01:27:28.740
Come on, let's give it up to Gay.
Give it up to him.

01:27:32.369 --> 01:27:35.539
Bernie Focker.

01:27:35.622 --> 01:27:38.208
I love the shirt, Dad.

01:27:38.291 --> 01:27:40.210
Thank you.

01:27:40.293 --> 01:27:43.755
All right.
It's great to be here with all of you,

01:27:43.839 --> 01:27:49.803
as I am about to set sail
in my ship of life

01:27:49.886 --> 01:27:52.097
with my first mate,

01:27:52.180 --> 01:27:55.183
the beautiful young
blonde lass there. Hey, baby.

01:27:56.309 --> 01:27:58.311
I love you, honey.

01:28:01.189 --> 01:28:03.526
I still masturbate to Pam.

01:28:03.609 --> 01:28:05.570
- Greg.
- What? It's true.

01:28:05.653 --> 01:28:08.698
Honey, what? Come on.
You're hot. Look at her.

01:28:08.781 --> 01:28:10.992
Look at those boobs. Man.

01:28:11.075 --> 01:28:15.496
I just wanna lather them up with soap
and just...

01:28:15.580 --> 01:28:17.165
I love it.

01:28:17.248 --> 01:28:23.296
Man, I just wanna nestle in there
and take a little vacation in there.

01:28:24.088 --> 01:28:27.008
- Honey.
- Honey, what? I'm sorry.

01:28:27.091 --> 01:28:29.427
OK, excuse me for you being perfect.

01:28:29.510 --> 01:28:32.638
Hey, you know who else is great?
That woman over there.

01:28:32.722 --> 01:28:35.516
My future mother-in-law,
Dina Byrnes.

01:28:44.192 --> 01:28:46.652
If you want to know
what a woman will look like

01:28:46.736 --> 01:28:48.946
when she gets older,
look at her mother.

01:28:49.030 --> 01:28:53.201
Well, I'm a-lookin'
and I'm a-likin'.

01:28:53.284 --> 01:28:56.120
Look at her. Sweetness.

01:28:58.581 --> 01:29:01.334
Good genes in the Byrnes gene pool.

01:29:02.877 --> 01:29:06.005
Hey. Hey, you.
Yeah, you.

01:29:06.089 --> 01:29:11.178
Hold on. Pam, I got to tell you
something about this little dude.

01:29:11.261 --> 01:29:15.099
In my first really passionate
sexual awakening,

01:29:15.182 --> 01:29:17.726
I did in fact lose my virginity

01:29:17.810 --> 01:29:20.187
to our beautiful
housekeeper, Isabel...

01:29:20.270 --> 01:29:22.898
Greg, that was in the past.
So come and sit down.

01:29:22.981 --> 01:29:25.526
No, honey, I have to
get this off my chest.

01:29:25.609 --> 01:29:27.444
Sit.

01:29:29.071 --> 01:29:31.865
We conceived a child.

01:29:33.492 --> 01:29:36.995
His name is Jorge Villalobos.
Come up here, Jorge.

01:29:37.913 --> 01:29:40.040
Let's lift the veil of mystery.

01:29:40.124 --> 01:29:43.085
The fruit of my loins is right here.

01:29:43.168 --> 01:29:48.133
Everybody, take a look.
See his face. He is mine.

01:29:48.216 --> 01:29:50.593
Search your feelings, Jorge.

01:29:50.677 --> 01:29:52.345
You know it to be true.

01:30:01.062 --> 01:30:03.898
It's OK, I know. I know.
A lot of information.

01:30:03.982 --> 01:30:06.609
You let it settle.
Who'd have thunk it?

01:30:06.693 --> 01:30:08.945
Give that kid a hand.

01:30:10.029 --> 01:30:11.656
Oh, and, Jack.

01:30:13.116 --> 01:30:14.617
Pam's pregnant.

01:30:16.953 --> 01:30:18.914
Focker out.

01:30:55.159 --> 01:30:57.244
What happened last night?

01:30:58.245 --> 01:31:00.956
Well, you got drunk
and told my dad I'm pregnant.

01:31:01.040 --> 01:31:04.043
You revealed you have
a 15-year-old son named Jorge.

01:31:04.126 --> 01:31:06.587
And apparently,
you have the hots for my mom.

01:31:07.213 --> 01:31:09.215
Oh, my God.

01:31:10.174 --> 01:31:14.261
- Is that really true?
- I think she's attractive.

01:31:14.345 --> 01:31:18.015
No. That you have a son
you never told me about.

01:31:18.099 --> 01:31:22.561
Honey, if it is, I never heard about it
before last night.

01:31:22.645 --> 01:31:24.648
Isabel never said anything to me.

01:31:25.732 --> 01:31:28.401
I mean,
I don't even remember drinking.

01:31:29.402 --> 01:31:33.740
- You're telling me the truth?
- Of course I am. Pam, I love you.

01:31:33.824 --> 01:31:36.326
I'd never lie to you
about anything like that.

01:31:41.623 --> 01:31:43.417
I love you, too.

01:31:43.500 --> 01:31:47.504
And if Jorge really is your son,
then we will make it work.

01:31:49.381 --> 01:31:51.007
OK.

01:31:53.927 --> 01:31:57.097
How did your dad react
to the pregnancy news?

01:31:57.180 --> 01:31:59.308
Well...

01:31:59.392 --> 01:32:01.561
Just as you'd expect.

01:32:01.644 --> 01:32:05.106
Slept in the RV. Hasn't spoken to anyone
since last night.

01:32:08.234 --> 01:32:11.863
Pam, we have to leave.
Get in the RV now.

01:32:11.946 --> 01:32:16.033
Bernard, get out from under the vehicle
or I will run you over.

01:32:16.117 --> 01:32:19.203
I'm not moving.
There's a nonviolent way to handle this.

01:32:19.287 --> 01:32:20.538
What's going on?

01:32:20.621 --> 01:32:23.666
Your father wants to leave,
Bernie is staging a sit-in.

01:32:23.749 --> 01:32:25.585
Dad, get up.
This is ridiculous.

01:32:25.668 --> 01:32:29.088
You weren't around in the '60s.
This is how we got things done.

01:32:29.172 --> 01:32:32.885
Pam, Dina, we have to get off
this island. It's evil.

01:32:32.968 --> 01:32:37.389
Jack Byrnes, out of the RV.
You are acting like such a jerk.

01:32:42.519 --> 01:32:45.939
Yes. There you go, Jacko. Yes.

01:32:46.023 --> 01:32:48.025
Man, we're gonna have
a grandchild.

01:32:48.108 --> 01:32:51.028
- We should be celebrating.
- How could you not see it?

01:32:51.111 --> 01:32:53.489
Greg is completely unfit
to handle a child.

01:32:53.572 --> 01:32:56.074
He's neglected his own son
for 15 years.

01:32:56.158 --> 01:32:58.368
Jack, I didn't even know he existed.

01:32:58.452 --> 01:33:01.538
Who knows?
You're dishonest about everything.

01:33:01.622 --> 01:33:03.499
You're so much better?

01:33:03.582 --> 01:33:06.710
Tell us all what you did
last night to Greg at the party.

01:33:06.794 --> 01:33:09.546
- Muskrat, Dina.
- Stuff your muskrat, Jack.

01:33:09.630 --> 01:33:13.300
He shot Greg with truth serum
before his speech.

01:33:13.383 --> 01:33:16.136
- What?
- I found this in his pocket.

01:33:16.220 --> 01:33:18.138
Here we go again, Dad.

01:33:18.222 --> 01:33:20.766
He did this
to Pam's junior-prom date.

01:33:20.849 --> 01:33:23.727
Wait a minute. Yes.
You stuck a needle in my neck.

01:33:23.811 --> 01:33:26.480
- You drugged my son?
- I had no choice.

01:33:26.563 --> 01:33:29.441
- He refuses to tell the truth.
- He's terrified.

01:33:29.525 --> 01:33:31.276
He thinks he has to impress you.

01:33:31.360 --> 01:33:33.195
He's had us trying to impress you,

01:33:33.278 --> 01:33:36.782
but in my opinion, it's you
who should be trying to impress us.

01:33:36.865 --> 01:33:38.283
Jack.

01:33:38.367 --> 01:33:42.122
You've insulted me, my wife,
my son, our entire way of life.

01:33:42.205 --> 01:33:45.750
I've sat back and taken it,
but you've crossed the line, sir,

01:33:45.834 --> 01:33:48.086
and I am gonna have to
kick your ass.

01:33:48.169 --> 01:33:49.712
Dad, wait a second.

01:33:49.796 --> 01:33:53.174
I'm going to teach this florist
some justice, Focker-style.

01:33:53.258 --> 01:33:55.885
- Calm down.
- Just give a minute to stretch.

01:33:55.969 --> 01:33:57.846
You're gonna hurt yourself.

01:33:57.929 --> 01:34:00.557
- We can talk this through.
- Too late for words.

01:34:00.640 --> 01:34:03.768
Dad. No dance-fighting. Stop.

01:34:03.852 --> 01:34:06.229
This is capoeira.
This is hardcore shit.

01:34:06.312 --> 01:34:09.607
Bernard, if you continue,
you will force me to engage you

01:34:09.691 --> 01:34:13.654
and once I begin the secrets of combat,
it will only end with your demise.

01:34:13.737 --> 01:34:16.031
Bring it, dawg.
Come on, bring it. Come on.

01:34:16.115 --> 01:34:18.784
- He's taunting me.
- Dad, chill out.

01:34:18.868 --> 01:34:21.454
- Greg.
- What? You're gonna snap now?

01:34:22.079 --> 01:34:23.706
- Greg.
- What?

01:34:25.541 --> 01:34:27.835
- Greg, honey.
- Now look what you did.

01:34:27.918 --> 01:34:30.796
- It's your fault.
- He's bleeding, Daddy.

01:34:30.880 --> 01:34:33.799
Pam, Dina,
I'm calling a family conference.

01:34:33.883 --> 01:34:36.302
- Come on.
- No, Dad, this is the family.

01:34:36.385 --> 01:34:39.972
In a few weeks I won't be Pam Byrnes.
I'll be Pamela Focker.

01:34:40.055 --> 01:34:42.349
Or Byrnes-Focker.
We haven't decided.

01:34:42.433 --> 01:34:44.977
No, no, no,
I'm gonna be Pamela Martha Focker.

01:34:45.060 --> 01:34:48.023
I know how that sounds,
but that's the name I'm taking.

01:34:48.106 --> 01:34:51.568
Pamcake, you're upset.
I'm not sure you're thinking clearly.

01:34:51.651 --> 01:34:56.114
It's you who is not thinking clearly.
These two kids love each other.

01:34:56.198 --> 01:34:59.117
We've been kvelling over
the pregnancy all weekend.

01:34:59.201 --> 01:35:01.536
You knew she was pregnant?

01:35:02.370 --> 01:35:04.080
We all did, Jack.

01:35:05.457 --> 01:35:08.418
I was gonna tell you after the wedding.

01:35:10.420 --> 01:35:13.215
This was the reason
I created the Circle of Trust,

01:35:13.298 --> 01:35:15.509
so we could discuss these things.

01:35:15.592 --> 01:35:19.679
The circle isn't gonna work
if you don't trust anyone that's in it.

01:35:19.763 --> 01:35:22.099
That's right, honey.

01:35:27.104 --> 01:35:29.439
- Dad.
- Jack.

01:35:29.523 --> 01:35:32.567
- Don't go.
- Daddy.

01:35:32.651 --> 01:35:35.070
Daddy, please.
Daddy, where are you going?

01:35:35.153 --> 01:35:37.781
- Come on.
- Don't drive away.

01:35:40.492 --> 01:35:44.246
- Daddy, come back, please.
- Jack.

01:35:44.329 --> 01:35:46.540
- What are you doing?
- Dad.

01:35:49.835 --> 01:35:51.753
This is nisht gut.

01:36:07.895 --> 01:36:10.273
- Is it ringing?
- There's no answer.

01:36:10.356 --> 01:36:12.984
Give him space.
Maybe he's self-soothing.

01:36:13.067 --> 01:36:16.070
- Roz.
- This is crazy. I'm going.

01:36:16.154 --> 01:36:18.614
- I'm coming with you.
- I can do it myself.

01:36:18.698 --> 01:36:21.534
I know these roads
like the back of my hand.

01:36:23.828 --> 01:36:27.123
Come on.
Let's put this family back together.

01:36:27.206 --> 01:36:29.585
Floor it, Gay.
I know a shortcut.

01:36:29.668 --> 01:36:31.753
We'll beat El Stiffo to the freeway.

01:36:33.088 --> 01:36:35.632
I think you make a right up here.
Or a left.

01:36:35.716 --> 01:36:37.718
It's either one or the other.

01:36:37.801 --> 01:36:40.596
- You don't know where we are.
- Something's wrong.

01:36:40.679 --> 01:36:44.099
- This makes no sense.
- Dad. It's a map of Detroit.

01:36:44.183 --> 01:36:46.852
- Well, that explains it.
- Dad...

01:36:46.935 --> 01:36:49.730
Punch it, Gay.
We're gonna catch that dude.

01:36:52.858 --> 01:36:55.611
- Oh, shit.
- Come on. Come on. Keep going.

01:36:55.694 --> 01:36:57.946
Dad, it's a cop.

01:36:58.030 --> 01:37:00.365
Listen carefully.
Let me do the talking.

01:37:00.449 --> 01:37:02.202
I know how to handle local cops.

01:37:02.285 --> 01:37:05.705
- Dad, don't do any talking.
- Don't shush me. I'm a lawyer.

01:37:05.789 --> 01:37:08.416
Know how many tickets
I've talked myself out of?

01:37:08.500 --> 01:37:11.669
Look at this yutz.
Don't they have height requirements?

01:37:11.753 --> 01:37:15.090
We're screwed. Don't. Dad.
He said to remain in the vehicle.

01:37:17.258 --> 01:37:20.011
Sir, I said to remain in your vehicle.

01:37:20.095 --> 01:37:22.555
- I just wanna talk...
- I gave you an order.

01:37:22.639 --> 01:37:25.892
- Let's talk like...
- Fail to comply, I will arrest you.

01:37:25.975 --> 01:37:28.228
- His future father-in-law...
- Shut it.

01:37:28.311 --> 01:37:31.147
...thinks Gay has a bastard son.
- I said, shut it.

01:37:31.231 --> 01:37:33.274
- Shut it.
- I know my civil rights.

01:37:33.358 --> 01:37:35.568
You know your rights?

01:37:36.820 --> 01:37:40.365
- I have sensitive wrists.
- Sir, return to your vehicle.

01:37:40.448 --> 01:37:43.535
- I don't know what he said...
- That's it. On your belly.

01:37:43.618 --> 01:37:46.037
- My belly?
- Got a hearing problem, freak?

01:37:46.871 --> 01:37:49.999
Now we got two failures to comply.

01:37:50.083 --> 01:37:56.631
Now, I need the two of you
to remain on the vehicle.

01:37:59.342 --> 01:38:03.513
- OK, now, here's my plan.
- Plan? Dad, no.

01:38:03.596 --> 01:38:05.557
It was just a joke.

01:38:07.600 --> 01:38:09.520
I'm sorry.

01:38:09.603 --> 01:38:11.939
I was just trying to help you, Gay.

01:38:12.022 --> 01:38:15.276
I know, Dad.
You're always trying to help.

01:38:20.990 --> 01:38:23.826
What's the intel
on Operation Living Skeleton?

01:38:23.909 --> 01:38:26.704
Focker's not the kid's father, Jack.

01:38:26.787 --> 01:38:29.707
Are you kidding me?
I was sure I had that pegged.

01:38:29.790 --> 01:38:31.709
I'm sending you a visual uplink.

01:38:31.792 --> 01:38:35.254
The dad was a minor-league
Florida ballplayer.

01:38:35.337 --> 01:38:37.757
His name is Rusty Bridges.

01:38:39.592 --> 01:38:42.219
We all make mistakes, Santa.
Foxtrot One out.

01:38:52.606 --> 01:38:56.026
34 years spent reading other people
and I get it all wrong.

01:38:56.109 --> 01:38:58.820
My own wife,
I don't even know what she's thinking

01:38:58.904 --> 01:39:01.948
and my daughter
keeps secrets from me.

01:39:02.032 --> 01:39:06.119
Sometimes I think you're the only person
I can really talk to, LJ.

01:39:06.203 --> 01:39:09.998
Ass... hole.

01:39:15.712 --> 01:39:17.590
I know.

01:39:33.689 --> 01:39:35.858
F-O-C-K...

01:39:35.942 --> 01:39:37.235
Fock-kare.

01:39:37.819 --> 01:39:40.947
Hey, it's Jack.
Hey, Jack. Jack.

01:39:43.074 --> 01:39:44.450
Jack.

01:39:44.534 --> 01:39:45.785
Halt.

01:39:45.868 --> 01:39:48.871
- Jack. Jack.
- Jack.

01:39:49.789 --> 01:39:51.833
Weaver stance.

01:39:54.085 --> 01:39:55.670
Oh, my God. You shot my son.

01:39:55.753 --> 01:39:57.255
Halt.

01:39:57.338 --> 01:40:01.426
Your son has merely been stunned
by a less-than-lethal weapon.

01:40:03.803 --> 01:40:06.722
Remain calm.
50,000 volts of electricity

01:40:06.806 --> 01:40:09.809
are now passing into
your skeletal muscle tissue.

01:40:09.892 --> 01:40:12.437
Your nervous system
has been incapacitated,

01:40:12.520 --> 01:40:15.898
but you will regain
motor functions momentarily.

01:40:19.402 --> 01:40:22.405
Do you mind telling me
why you are arresting these men?

01:40:22.488 --> 01:40:25.826
Oh, mercy.
It just gets better and better.

01:40:25.909 --> 01:40:28.745
That is none of your business,
lookie-loo.

01:40:28.829 --> 01:40:30.497
- Gay?
- Return to your camper.

01:40:30.581 --> 01:40:32.207
At ease. Put away the TASER.

01:40:32.291 --> 01:40:35.586
- Jack Byrnes, CIA.
- Cl-what?

01:40:35.669 --> 01:40:39.840
It says here you're retired.
What you gonna show me now, old timer?

01:40:39.923 --> 01:40:43.969
- Your AARP card?
- You listen to me. Listen good.

01:40:44.052 --> 01:40:46.221
- What's he doing?
- Don't worry.

01:40:46.305 --> 01:40:48.515
- He'll get us out of this.
- You have...

01:40:48.599 --> 01:40:51.560
- Stand down, sir.
- I will not. You stand down.

01:40:51.643 --> 01:40:53.604
- I will not stand down.
- You will.

01:40:53.687 --> 01:40:56.732
Or you'll be working security
in a retirement home.

01:40:56.815 --> 01:40:58.193
Remain calm.

01:40:58.818 --> 01:41:01.696
It's been an hour.
You think they caught up with him?

01:41:01.780 --> 01:41:03.782
I'm sure, sweetheart.

01:41:03.865 --> 01:41:06.951
If I know Bernie,
they're in a café in Little Havana,

01:41:07.035 --> 01:41:10.038
eating chimichangas
and working out their issues.

01:41:19.422 --> 01:41:23.009
Check it out.
He's got a rubber booby.

01:41:37.024 --> 01:41:39.985
- What's going on?
- I talked to Judge Goldfarb.

01:41:40.069 --> 01:41:41.612
It's done. We're out.

01:41:41.695 --> 01:41:44.698
- You were making our call.
- I ran into the judge.

01:41:44.782 --> 01:41:48.494
- I took care of everything.
- Yeah, right.

01:41:48.577 --> 01:41:50.204
What are you saying, Jack?

01:41:50.287 --> 01:41:54.500
If you had kept your mouth shut,
we wouldn't be in this mess.

01:41:54.583 --> 01:41:57.002
I'm a lawyer.
I'm trying to get us out.

01:41:57.086 --> 01:41:59.171
Give the judge your fondue recipe?

01:41:59.255 --> 01:42:02.341
I'm comfortable enough in my skin
to cook for my family.

01:42:02.424 --> 01:42:04.885
When did you last give Dina
breakfast in bed?

01:42:04.969 --> 01:42:07.304
When did you last give her
anything in bed?

01:42:07.388 --> 01:42:09.682
- You're out of line.
- You are out of line.

01:42:09.765 --> 01:42:11.559
- You are.
- You hurt my feelings.

01:42:11.642 --> 01:42:14.061
There is no reason
to hurt my feelings.

01:42:14.145 --> 01:42:16.021
- Stop it.
- He insulted me.

01:42:16.105 --> 01:42:18.607
Yeah, well,
this isn't about you, all right?

01:42:18.691 --> 01:42:21.152
Either of you.
It's about me and Pam.

01:42:21.235 --> 01:42:23.696
We're getting married. That's it.

01:42:23.779 --> 01:42:27.867
We're starting our own Circle of Trust
and guess what, you're not in it.

01:42:27.950 --> 01:42:30.744
You can't start a Circle of Trust.
It's my circle.

01:42:30.828 --> 01:42:32.913
You don't have
a patent on the circle.

01:42:32.997 --> 01:42:35.583
And you're not in your own circle
right now.

01:42:35.666 --> 01:42:38.962
That is untrue.
I say who's in or out of the circle.

01:42:39.838 --> 01:42:42.299
I'm confused.
Whose circle am I in?

01:42:44.259 --> 01:42:46.261
Nobody's.

01:42:53.268 --> 01:42:55.562
Look, we're starting a family, OK?

01:42:55.645 --> 01:42:58.899
We're gonna have a baby.
I have a 15-year-old son.

01:42:58.982 --> 01:43:01.401
You guys have
gotta put aside your issues

01:43:01.485 --> 01:43:04.029
and do what's best for us, OK?

01:43:05.363 --> 01:43:08.450
- Greg, Jorge's not your son.
- What?

01:43:08.533 --> 01:43:12.622
I had a comparative DNA analysis
conducted and I made a mistake.

01:43:12.705 --> 01:43:14.373
You made a mistake?

01:43:14.457 --> 01:43:16.459
- Yes, I did.
- Wait a minute.

01:43:16.542 --> 01:43:19.837
Truth serum, DNA matches.
Who the hell are you, Jack Byrnes?

01:43:19.921 --> 01:43:23.966
I'm not really a florist, Bernard.
I was in the CIA for 32 years.

01:43:24.050 --> 01:43:26.302
I retired right before I met Greg.

01:43:26.385 --> 01:43:29.097
Oh, sure.
Well, that makes sense.

01:43:31.891 --> 01:43:34.393
Bernie, why the heck
are you still here?

01:43:34.477 --> 01:43:37.772
- Ira.
- Cletus, open up. Let these guys out.

01:43:37.855 --> 01:43:40.024
Judge, what exactly did he say to you?

01:43:40.108 --> 01:43:43.820
He didn't have to say anything.
Dr Roz saved my marriage.

01:43:43.903 --> 01:43:45.988
I'd do anything for that woman.

01:43:46.072 --> 01:43:49.535
You tell Sugar Pants
I'll see her in class next week.

01:43:49.618 --> 01:43:51.245
Will do, Ira. Thanks.

01:43:51.787 --> 01:43:54.706
What can I say?
I'm married to a very powerful woman.

01:43:54.790 --> 01:43:56.875
- All right. Let's go.
- Excuse me.

01:43:56.959 --> 01:44:00.462
- Could you close the cell door?
- You wanna remain in the cell?

01:44:00.546 --> 01:44:02.756
We're not done talking yet.

01:44:04.133 --> 01:44:05.843
What?

01:44:05.926 --> 01:44:10.013
So what do you think?
Can we work this out or not?

01:44:11.932 --> 01:44:12.975
OK.

01:44:14.059 --> 01:44:15.102
Jack?

01:44:16.812 --> 01:44:18.439
I don't know.

01:44:18.522 --> 01:44:20.274
Good enough.

01:44:20.357 --> 01:44:24.486
All right. I think Pam and I
should get married this weekend.

01:44:24.570 --> 01:44:26.947
I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

01:44:27.030 --> 01:44:30.075
- You wanna be in the circle?
- OK, this weekend.

01:44:30.159 --> 01:44:32.119
Jack.

01:44:37.541 --> 01:44:40.294
I think I can get Judge Ira
to marry you guys.

01:44:40.377 --> 01:44:43.005
I don't think so,
If it's all right with you,

01:44:43.088 --> 01:44:45.215
I already have a minister in mind.

01:45:01.065 --> 01:45:02.609
Oh, God, Daddy, you didn't?

01:45:02.692 --> 01:45:05.028
Meeting Greg
made an impression on Kevin.

01:45:05.111 --> 01:45:07.238
He spent eight months on a kibbutz,

01:45:07.322 --> 01:45:11.034
took an internet course and got ordained
as an interfaith minister.

01:45:12.827 --> 01:45:16.289
Jack told me that you were OK
with me conducting the ceremony.

01:45:16.372 --> 01:45:20.043
- I hope that's true.
- I think it's great you're doing it.

01:45:24.297 --> 01:45:26.549
I mean, it is a little weird.

01:45:26.633 --> 01:45:28.636
Listen to me when I say this.

01:45:28.719 --> 01:45:30.513
Pam and I did not have one-tenth

01:45:30.596 --> 01:45:33.599
of the spiritual connection
you two obviously share.

01:45:33.682 --> 01:45:37.061
I look at you both together
and you're beautiful. I get it.

01:45:37.144 --> 01:45:38.687
- OK?
- OK.

01:45:38.771 --> 01:45:41.148
- Thank you, Kevin.
- Thank you, Greg.

01:45:48.864 --> 01:45:51.242
You're gonna be a great mom, Pamcake.

01:45:53.202 --> 01:45:54.912
Thank you, Daddy.

01:46:19.563 --> 01:46:22.065
And who gives this woman to this man?

01:46:22.149 --> 01:46:25.569
I do. Jack Tiberius Byrnes.

01:46:35.412 --> 01:46:37.622
Daddy.

01:46:40.584 --> 01:46:42.169
- Sorry, Greg.
- OK.

01:46:43.003 --> 01:46:45.005
She's all yours now.

01:46:52.179 --> 01:46:54.347
That was sweet, honey.
You all right?

01:46:54.431 --> 01:46:57.809
- Shalom, everyone.
- Shalom.

01:47:00.437 --> 01:47:03.190
Which is Hebrew
for "What's going on?"

01:47:04.816 --> 01:47:07.652
Let us begin
with the blessing of the wine.

01:47:24.629 --> 01:47:28.341
Amen.

01:47:34.639 --> 01:47:36.099
- Kevin.
- What?

01:47:36.182 --> 01:47:38.267
Yeah, go ahead.

01:47:56.036 --> 01:47:57.121
Well, hi.

01:47:57.204 --> 01:47:59.081
- Rosalind.
- Yeah?

01:47:59.164 --> 01:48:01.834
I just have to say,
I underestimated you.

01:48:03.252 --> 01:48:05.129
When it comes to relationships,

01:48:05.212 --> 01:48:07.798
you might know
what you're talking about.

01:48:09.883 --> 01:48:12.719
I appreciate that, Jack.
Really, thank you.

01:48:12.803 --> 01:48:16.266
I also was curious about the advice
you gave Judge Ira.

01:48:17.434 --> 01:48:20.854
Is that classified information?

01:48:20.937 --> 01:48:23.231
I thought you'd never ask.

01:48:23.314 --> 01:48:26.860
I'm gonna give you a crash course.
OK?

01:48:26.943 --> 01:48:28.570
Come here.

01:48:30.905 --> 01:48:32.991
Really?

01:48:37.412 --> 01:48:40.623
And I do that
for how many minutes?

01:48:41.458 --> 01:48:43.668
There's my brother
from another mother.

01:48:45.044 --> 01:48:48.173
Congratulations, Jacko.
We made it.

01:48:49.090 --> 01:48:51.092
Put that away, Bernard.

01:48:54.220 --> 01:48:56.222
We're family now.

01:49:00.560 --> 01:49:02.312
We're family.

01:49:02.395 --> 01:49:06.316
If you'll excuse me, I have some
unfinished business to take care of.

01:49:10.820 --> 01:49:12.572
Go get her, Tiger.

01:49:15.200 --> 01:49:18.328
- We Fockerised him.
- We sure did.

01:49:18.411 --> 01:49:20.663
I'd like to Fockerise you.

01:49:42.603 --> 01:49:44.939
Sweetheart, do we have
to hurry like this?

01:49:45.022 --> 01:49:46.649
We're on a covert operation.

01:49:46.732 --> 01:49:51.028
The bandleader told me we have
23 minutes before they cut the cake.

01:49:56.033 --> 01:49:57.994
Jack, what are you doing?

01:49:58.078 --> 01:50:00.539
A little trick Bernie taught me.

01:50:00.563 --> 01:50:20.563
Telegram Channel and Instagram Page
.:: @bollbolljan_com ::.

01:50:25.439 --> 01:50:30.695
Now, let's find out, LJ,
why the Ferber method isn't working.

01:50:35.741 --> 01:50:37.285
Hi, baby.

01:50:37.368 --> 01:50:42.081
Hi, Little Jack. OK.
Look what I brought you.

01:50:42.165 --> 01:50:44.041
What did I bring?

01:50:44.125 --> 01:50:48.963
A chocolate for the baby.

01:50:49.046 --> 01:50:50.840
Is that good?

01:50:50.923 --> 01:50:52.800
You're not supposed to have this.

01:50:52.884 --> 01:50:55.845
Grandpa Jack doesn't like chocolate.
He's wacko.

01:50:55.928 --> 01:50:57.597
Don't tell him, OK?

01:50:57.680 --> 01:50:59.682
I got cake in the refrigerator.

01:50:59.765 --> 01:51:02.393
Later I'll bring you that, OK?
Chocolate cake.

01:51:02.477 --> 01:51:05.271
Good boy.
But don't tell anyone, OK?

01:51:05.354 --> 01:51:08.065
OK. One more.

01:51:10.193 --> 01:51:11.903
Yell and scream all you want.

01:51:11.986 --> 01:51:14.363
Making noise
is what this country's about.

01:51:14.447 --> 01:51:16.741
We got a little protestor on our hands.

01:51:16.824 --> 01:51:20.536
It figures. I should have known
this was gonna go on.

01:51:20.620 --> 01:51:22.205
Always question authority.

01:51:22.288 --> 01:51:25.082
Question everything
El Stiffo Grandpa Jack says.

01:51:25.166 --> 01:51:27.210
Know why?
Because he's full of...

01:51:27.293 --> 01:51:29.295
He's full of...

01:51:30.338 --> 01:51:32.298
Grandpa Jack is full of...

01:51:36.010 --> 01:51:38.013
Grandpa Jack is full of...

01:51:43.435 --> 01:51:46.480
There he is. Little man Jack.

01:51:46.563 --> 01:51:47.940
How you doing?

01:51:48.023 --> 01:51:50.192
Can I interest you
in a little wodka?

01:51:50.275 --> 01:51:52.486
Just kidding.

01:51:52.569 --> 01:51:54.404
I'm officially your uncle now

01:51:54.488 --> 01:51:58.325
so I was thinking I should
give you some uncle-y advice.

01:51:58.408 --> 01:52:00.494
Hints for surviving in this family.

01:52:00.577 --> 01:52:03.997
You gotta learn to keep secrets
from your psycho Grandpa Jack.

01:52:04.081 --> 01:52:06.708
He was upset when
you got out of the playpen.

01:52:06.792 --> 01:52:11.130
We'd never tell him that instead of
watching you, I was out by the lagoon,

01:52:11.213 --> 01:52:13.299
smoking a little reefer.

01:52:15.718 --> 01:52:19.597
Or that whole thing
about Pam being pregnant.

01:52:19.681 --> 01:52:21.766
There's no little Focker
on the way.

01:52:21.850 --> 01:52:25.103
The whole thing was made up
so Jack would let us get married.

01:52:25.186 --> 01:52:27.730
You got to do what you gotta do, right?

01:52:27.814 --> 01:52:31.401
That's cute.
It's like an alligator tchotchke thing.

01:52:31.484 --> 01:52:35.071
What's that in its mouth?
It's got a camera.

01:52:37.323 --> 01:52:38.658
Busted.

01:52:40.743 --> 01:52:43.037
Hi, Jack.
I knew you were there all along.

01:52:43.121 --> 01:52:45.875
I was just
doing a little show for you.

01:52:45.958 --> 01:52:49.295
You know I don't smoke pot, or anything.
And Pam is pregnant.

01:52:49.378 --> 01:52:51.672
You should have seen
the look on your face.

01:52:51.755 --> 01:52:55.217
- So good.
- Ass... hole.

01:52:56.927 --> 01:52:59.138
Look at me, Jack. What am I?

01:53:03.142 --> 01:53:05.060
I'm a frozen caveman.

01:53:05.144 --> 01:53:06.687
Study me, Jack.

01:53:06.771 --> 01:53:10.483
Learn how strange
the Focker genetic code is.

01:53:10.566 --> 01:53:12.818
We are weird mutants
who hug and kiss.

01:53:12.902 --> 01:53:14.904
We show emotion.

01:53:14.987 --> 01:53:18.991
Jack must learn from us and chip away
with his hammer of truth.

01:53:19.074 --> 01:53:20.493
Focker.